Erin is the Funny One - Are You Smarter than a Jacksfilms?
Episode Date: February 14, 2022This week on EITFO, Jack and Erin take a wild bet on a new white wine that may (or may not) be a new favorite? Then, Erin quizzes Jack on straight-up Jeopardy questions. How does he do? Listen to find... out! Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands
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Welcome back to your listeners to a new episode of Aaron is the funny one I'm
Jack that's Aaron. It's me, Aaron. Happy to be here. Is that right you sound happy?
I am happy you know what's interesting though what I noticed is that
usually and I think we've mentioned this before we usually jam out to some
tunes to get us like amped up before we record and Jack film is all business
tonight ladies and gents apparently right to it he's like all right I'm gonna
go restart the computer I got the wine glasses I got the wine and are you ready
test the microphone all right let's go yeah I don't know I just wanted to get
her done I really wanted to get to the wine pair oh you know what you did say
that you were like you know mimicking falling asleep and then you're like I
just need some wine even though guys wine does not help with alertness so
bollocks and hogwash I say what is this week's wine of the week honey wow you
really are okay enough of the small talk so interesting okay so we have a
2013 varietal here noo hailing from Australia it is a Pfeiffer not like a
Pfeiffer like the Pied Pfeiffer oh a different Pfeiffer but a Pfeiffer like
Michelle Pfeiffer everybody's favorite Pfeiffer Michelle Pfeiffer and I have no
idea what type of wine this is not the slightest um all the way from the
sunshine state huh it literally just says white it's 10% alcohol guys so we
can like we can finish eight of these bottles easy I have a thing yeah I have
a feeling this is probably not going to be up my alley I didn't even bother
looking at the percentage when I picked it out you just I just didn't even know
what you were getting you got like oh that looks like a cute little farmhouse
I'm gonna buy that I love Michelle Pfeiffer that's why that's what made me
uh all right jack film why don't you do us the honors I'd love to and drink us
some some of this Pfeiffer I don't even know I have no idea so there is this
like word but I don't know if this is a type of wine it's called fron tignac
fron tignac I'm sorry what it's F-R-O-N-T-I-G no I think that's the new
covid variant N-A-C fron tignac I don't know guys I stick to the Chardonnay
section so jack film please how is it take take a take a gander all right let
me take a smell first and tell you how it smells it smells like a bucket of it
smells like a like a full bucket of gold first off hold on we also paid
$19.99 for this bottle of wine and the fact that it's 10% wine which is
basically like simple syrup I'm a little bit pissed off that we paid this much
money for wine I think that's a really cool price because that's like the TV
price that's like the infomercial price everything is either $19.99 or three
easy payments of $19.99 this is essentially a bottle of like the syrups
that they have at Starbucks that like you oh my god flavor you were joking when
you said it's basically simple syrup but honey wait I need to try I need to try
give me give me yeah yeah oh my god oh my god oh my god that's it's like wine
grenadine yeah that's enjoy jack film way to go I feel like this is gonna give
me a hell of a headache but it's really sweet here's the thing this is a five out
of five wine for me because it is delish it no it is way too sweet it
literally it's like almost tart that's how sweet it is you know it it this is a
juice this legit taste this is really thick heavy juice though it's a heavy
juice is it yeah it's not like a fun juice it's like a heavy thick juice it's
probably like 800 calories a glass it's like that sugary and juicy but you know
what I picked I picked well no I need to stop letting him go to the wine store
by himself we um jack from how you feeling today I'm feeling okay I had a
nice productive day doing a lot of I got a lot of like stuff in the air I'm
trying out a lot of weird things I'm doing a weird thing on Twitch this week
I'm making weird ass videos and shorts I uploaded a shitpost today so I'm just
making weird stuff and it feels good to be making like weird stuff again so it's
good it's a fun feeling it's like what else can I make so I'm like itching to
do this weird twitch thing this week which by the time this podcast goes up
we'll have already happened it is kind of fascinating how your brain works like
you think about like you think about things yeah I like honestly though it's
not even that I would never think about it it's that you and I our brains are
sometimes straight up different planets oh yeah oh yeah like your brain I'm my
brain is like I wonder if aliens exist and your brain is the alien like like
light years away I am the alien like that's that's how far apart we are
sometimes like I don't know not in a bad way just in a different way I think it's
good to have that though because if you're if you're both on the same page all
the time what fun is that but no I do think like I exaggerate but I do feel
like it's it's nice in a relationship almost crucial not just nice it's kind
of important to have that yin to the yang kind of vibe because we we are very
different we think very differently and we think very different thoughts it's
always I will say people are always really interested and fascinated in a
normal business setting to learn about how people monetize the creative side
you can make money off the internet yeah and they're always really interested in
how that works and and I can see that in the scenes and stuff like that and I
only know the tip of the iceberg oh you know more than that you're in it yeah it
is I don't know like I'm very I'm not even logical I'm super emotional I can
be logical but I'm a very emotional person so I wouldn't even say like oh
I'm really logical like I'm not at all I just am emotional and you're very
creative and like you think I don't know your business is creating so I guess
that makes sense but it really is though like that is if I stop thinking like
that I think my business would die I would die yeah I would probably physically
die because it's kind of like what keeps me going it's like these weird comedic
ideas that like make me crack up in the middle of the fucking day alone in the
kitchen like that's how that's how the shitpost that I uploaded today happened
I was just kind of walking around puttering around with the dogs probably
and I just thought of this thing and I couldn't stop laughing and maybe laugh
every time I thought of it and it's just one of those like well shit this kind of
takes over my life now I have to get this out in the world and that's kind of
how I've operated for over a decade I just have a weird idea and it takes over
my brain like an obsession until I make it tangible physical a video until I
make it seen so that was that was kind of my day and it feels good to have it out
now it's like onto the next obsession you know but enough about me how are you
feeling today honey I am in the middle of an identity crisis I feel like I'm
what how did I describe it to you earlier this week last week the week
before that I it's like I know I have an itch but I can't scratch it I know I'm
on the precipice of something I just don't know what yet something that I've
found out that is the fucking greatest thing on the planet yeah and returns
power back to the workers yeah but yet has been living literally rent-free in
my brain is that certain states are creating pay transparency laws for
employers and so I believe I'm under the impression that I may be underpaid
which I had a sneaking suspicion for some time but upon having discovered
this and going on websites that literally have on the job posting of the
job that I have what the pay range is and knowing that I make below average is
a doesn't feel very good so anyway shout out to Colorado shout out to
Connecticut shout out effective in May New York will be coming this way how
about this something I found out recently because I'm in the state of
California I found out that in the state of California because I am currently
employed my employer does not have to give me the pay range for the job that I
am already in how about that however if I were a potential candidate for the job
not already employed by the company if I got through one interview they would
legally have to tell me what the pay range is so basically I need to quit my
current job and then reapply for it in order to understand if I am fairly
compensated so anyway that's been weighing very heavily on me because yeah
for those of you who have listened for some time I am all about putting power
back into the hands of the employees at any opportunity that we as regular
people can get and this is a blessing but also a curse because now we are
cursed with knowing that we may be being underpaid so anyway yeah so that's
that's where I'm at I'm in the middle of an identity crisis I think what do I
really want what do I need what do I I don't know do you really want well Jack
what I really want is to embarrass the shit out of you today that is that comes
first and foremost yeah fuck being paid fairly fuck fair wages fuck
corporations treating employees like actual humans like forget that noise
what I really want to do today is I want to prove everybody how wonderfully
stupid you are so actually funny funny story she grabbed my hand as she said
yeah no like that softens the blow okay so here's here's the real story here's
a peek behind the curtain of what we are going to do today hate this so I
received a text actually earlier today from a lovely listener who texted into
the hotline at dad hug me 10 oh what's that hotline number again dad hug me 10
also if I were to pull out my phone and open up the phone app I would just have
to type in the letters that spell dad hug me and then the numbers one zero that's
correct oh my god and you may or may not receive a response depending on how
interested I am in conversing with you at that very moment probably get a
response listeners okay I received a text well I guess you know what
technically this listener did not text me today but I responded today this
listener who goes by the name Allison she and I quote texted in can you just
ask him like $100 jeopardy questions I feel like he doesn't know anything and
quote and I was like I love this first off I love Allison second off I love this
idea and that's the most intriguing and insulting idea I'm kind of I'm kind of
game so but here's here's what happened here's the bad news awful actually awful
just really like took a dump on my day okay more so than knowing yeah yeah how
stupid I am well well that like took a dump on my life but like knowing that I'm
underpaid as a person but also a lot of times I have a hard time gauging the
jack film knowledge base and it's because I like legit he knows nothing
absolutely nothing he has seen nothing he doesn't know anything but then every
now and then he'll whip out this little slick brain of his that decides to just
like no information even though he plays dumb constantly okay so I asked jack
film a few sample questions he got the first one right and I'm like oh shit I
didn't think he'd know that one second question he knew right oh and so I
ended up actually asking him all the questions and I think the only one that
you didn't get right was what is the postal code abbreviation for the state
of Arkansas right and I took too long to respond because I was thinking like oh
is it Alaska or Arkansas that's like AK Jack what is it what's Arkansas AR
final answer yeah okay so anyway you you understand this is like my problem right
my dilemma I'm like oh shit there goes my entire idea for the entire podcast I
was like well what are some other things we could talk about we could talk about
how I cried earlier this week because I found out how blind jack is it was like
dangerously close to bed like I'm out like Aaron always gets this annoying
fucking second winged at like two in the morning like clockwork I'm and by the
way I don't want in the morning yeah two in the morning whatever so what sparked
it like some so I saw a tiktok I follow this I follow this tiktok account that
shows you what certain people's prescriptions of their eyeglasses look
like right without eyeglasses so this is what somebody's vision looks like
without glasses if they are like negative two negative three negative and it
just gets increasingly blurrier and blurrier yes the numbers go deeper in
the negatives and I first I was like there's no way this is real because they
showed I think I think they showed negative five and you literally can't
see anything you can't see even see colors right you can't like it's very
blurry it was I was like there's no colors but everything is just like colorful
block there's no way this is real like there's just like no way so and the
what I I don't wear glasses I've never I am a privileged person real privileged
fuck here I have never worn glasses I have 2020 vision I actually yeah I have
2020 vision but Jack film here has it what what is your prescription again I
think it's negative five or negative four point eight I think it's like negative
four point seven five or something okay and then like maybe negative four five
and the other one I think it's different in both eyes oh because I put the same
contact lens in each eye I don't I don't I don't discriminate oh really both my
eyes suck yeah yeah oh I feel like because I somebody asked me and I like got
your prescription at work once and I like read it to them oh that's fine I
don't remember that well so so then I showed Jack the tick tock and I'm like
is this right then like can you really not see at all and I go yeah well you
were like it's that bad so then I was like okay I need to test this right now
so I get out of bed I grab like a bag of Epsom Epsom I think that's the
Epsom salts that I had sitting on the dresser that I bought and it says by the
way if you guys know the bag it says very big bold on the bag like in size like
40 font like Epsom salt whatever can't miss it so I like stand I don't know 15
feet maybe not even know there's no way 10 feet yeah something like that from you
and I and Jack did not know what was on the bag and I had the bag in my hands and
I said can you read this from here without your glasses and he's like no I
can't come a little closer and a little closer and I was three feet away from him
when he squinted his eyes and could read he finally was able to read it and I was
crying I started crying yeah you did because I couldn't believe how how do
you live like this how do you live like this and I had to like I had to assure
you that like honey I always have my glasses nearby or I'm wearing contacts
I'm never far away from vision we need to get like 18 more pairs of glasses
yeah that was your conclusion for the I can't believe you only have one pair
this is like hard either I know constantly falling off horrified whenever
I'm out in the in the public out in the wild clubbing and shit my glasses always
fall off because I have a mask over my mouth and maybe some of you four-eyed
listeners out there can relate but the traditional masks I wear they pulled
down my ears thus loosening my glasses and they just slip off comically I don't
know how you go through life I'm so sorry I'm a real Magoo I'm a real Mr. Magoo
anyway bumbling about so I was thinking maybe we could talk about that if you guys
want us to continue talking about how blind Jack is like that you know or how
much he you know how poor his vision is here so I just took my glasses off stop
I don't stop stop stop interrupting me what I was gonna say was if you guys
want us to continue to talk about how poor Jack's vision is next week we
surely will do that however I came up with a better idea oh you did yeah so we
digress down that road now you guys digress now you guys know that I you
know cry at the drop of a hat the inside of your brain is terrifying so it
really is it's horrible but my friend Martha Stewart inspired me what a name
drop she's got Martha's shard great shit as we know she inspired me she inspires
all of us to go on good housekeeping I don't even know she's ever but I was
like who's a good housekeeper Martha Stewart sure Martha Stewart is the
ultimate and I went on good housekeeping website and they made me a quiz no nay
they made you a quiz they were thinking of me and Martha okay and you and they
made a quiz late last year and the quiz is titled see how many of these
ridiculously hard jeopardy questions you can get right so yes that is what we
will be doing since you apparently do know that grilled cheese pairs well with
tomato soup okay guys the hundred dollar question she was asking me all these
these questions I after about five of them I turn to her and said is this like
some are you smarter than a fifth-grader shit like what is this and the answer
wasn't far from the truth it was even worse it was no what what are the easiest
jeopardy questions but let's take your stupid housekeeping Martha Stewart
jeopardy quiz all right Jack them are you ready I'm ready this is an 11 letter
word for embroidery on canvas with uniform spacing of stitches in a pattern
and the answer is not embroidery wait em b r o i d and you can look at the is it
ary or ery I don't know does not have it written there it's not embroidery so I
don't so no the answer is no you're wrong what's y o u r e w r o n g oh that's
also 10 letters okay oh can you repeat the question this is an 11 letter word
for embroidery on oh yeah what the fuck are you doing Jesus Christ the inside
of your brain I had to wake up early today I'm very tired I'm distracted oh
I'm underpaid help me uses what's the question okay this is and by the way it
is ery this is an 11 letter word for embroidery on canvas with uniform
spacing of stitches in a pattern tessellation no what does that even mean
I don't know if I feel like it was a term I learned in like middle school art
class what's the answer needle point dummy wait now I need to look up with
tessellation is tessellation it's like using it's like making a pattern where
like everything's one shape like the shapes make up the drawing it's like one
shape oh yeah you're right it's like tiles basically it's like tiles well it
says using one or more geometric shapes called tiles no overlaps or gap I think
the judges are giving me tessellation is that one two three four it's close it's
not 11 8 9 10 11 12 12 damn it you're off you're wrong needle point all right is
that the word that you say three times in a mirror and no the Virgin Mary appears
no that's jack film okay God bless the day he loses his virginity okay her
October 7th 1914 wedding day would prove to be a focal point of American
politics wow this was a thousand dollar question apparently this is so
cruel my god which part is cruel we needed to make you look stupid somehow
this will do it this will do it I think it's Mrs. needle point I think you're
close I think so too this is a name that sounds like somebody that would do yeah
needle point yeah that's a Ross kind of thing sure one more time please don't all
women do needle point
listener she said it not me if you're gonna cancel someone on this show cancel
my sexist old-fashioned wife I'm just mocking the male brain that controls the
gaze totally hey honey what's that question again by the way that what I
meant by gaze is GAZE yeah we yeah I didn't think of that yeah we know yeah
okay wait well but you want to know the answer no I want to know the question
again oh yeah okay okay her October 7th 1914 not that that matters but wedding
day would prove to be a focal point of American politics merkin who I don't know
a lot of female notables from 1914 yeah it's Margaret Thatcher guess Margaret
Thatcher just guess it's not American politics it's okay it's Betsy Ross guess
Betsy Ross I know it's wrong but I'm gonna have to guess yeah Betsy Ross she
wasn't even alive during then was she and it's Melania Trump no it's not yeah
1914 she's like one of those people that like she's like the age of Adeline
where she like doesn't wow I haven't thought about that and like I was like
twilight where they have to keep like reinventing their identity so the
people don't realize that they're there I hate that like if you're listening
you're probably like no Jack it's obviously not Melania Trump but like
listeners what you're not getting that I am is just Aaron's sincerity and it's
it's about how Melania Trump is a time traveler no no just like when you said
the answer before all your stupid age of Adeline gobbledygook you just said it
was such conviction to me and you made like it was the kind of conviction that
if I disagreed with you I would have felt stupid oh yeah I mean sure but she is a
time traveler what's the answer she doesn't age what's the answer Rose Fitzgerald
Kennedy I'm pretty sure that Rose Rose do be doing needlepoint though no let's
Rosie the Riveter is what you're thinking oh she does needlepoint to Jack
guns all right Jack film yeah the category is a bit of bling okay interest in
diamonds in this color sword when Ben gave Jen a big one set in her engagement
ring fuck fuck green do you even know different colored diamonds do you know
what like what what colored diamonds are even available to probably not green
I'm just thinking like emeralds and that's not really a dime apparently you need to pay
more attention when I play stardew oh Christ what colored I'll just say I'm gonna say green
it's a pretty color I would like a green color diamond you want a green diamond I want a green
color diamond you don't want and you know why and you know why why why you tell me why the infamous
sexy J. Lowe Oscars dress the deep V don't even act like you even know what did you wear it
to do you even know like why I just said the Oz she did not work she was just like the MTV
musical or did she shit or like the VMAs or something oh really well yes whatever it was
it was iconic as hell and I'll never forget it G green final answer reach oh shit no I'm wrong
she worked with Grammys that's my bad you know what you know what wait hold on hold on you know why
I knew that why or why I had a mistaken why it's because they were doing a like diary remember the
show diary yeah they were doing like a diary of her or puff daddy somebody at that time and it was
on MTV got it and that's why I got it you're still wrong got it for it totally and you're wrong
once again guys this is why they underpay me because I just talk out of my ass it was green
right it was not green what you're very wrong it was pink they both have bad taste should have been
green next question I'll get it this time for sure come on Trebek give me a give me a what do you
what do you have against Ben Affleck he's got poor taste in the diamonds so what's that next
thousand dollar question Trebek yeah let's be real like Christian Bale was a way better Batman
though Ben Affleck might be a better Batman than Robert Pattinson well we we're not gonna
know for a month give me an easy thousand dollar question all right man of the hour in 2000 this
man was the host of a number one rated network show and a number two rated syndicated talk show
that's Regis Philbin of course because I even said final answer I know I don't know if I would
have gotten that honestly you know why one of my one of my one of my weird memories burned in my
brain was watching you know after watching a million episodes of wants to be a millionaire with
the original host Regis Philbin I remember like watching the end of an episode where the credits
would roll and it always ended with the date of publication in Roman numerals and it was just
simply mm and it was the first time I'd seen that mm and not you know whatever the long
gobbledygook for 1999 is that's a good question what's for 1999 in Roman numerals I think it's
like MCM and then like stop bragging XC nobody cares 1x I think that's right any who and I that
was burned in my brain so as soon as you said 2000 game show and I was thinking like oh god
is the next clue gonna be talk show host and it was it's my boy Regis RIP Regis I grew up on you
shut up so anyway so anyway what a bitch okay category is gridiron champs Jesus will you've
got your fucking work cut out for you all right gridiron champs you love football right you love
it my favorite in the 1960s these midwesterners earned five NFL championship trophies yeah yeah yeah
those are those are the LA Rams midwestern jack but they were well can you at least try
midway sorry the bangles where are the bangles I actually don't remember I know that they're
playing in the super I feel like that's an Ohio team yeah I'm is Ohio considered midwest
I don't think so but you want the Oklahoma Gators those were the they're the that's it
I know that's why I said it you got it right I know the Oklahoma panhandlers okay okay um so
that is incorrect the Kansas the Kansas Cyclones okay so actually but I have an issue
with this I have an issue with it what's that the answer is the Green Bay Packers
however is Green Bay the Midwest like Wisconsin I think of Midwest is like middle
Wisconsin's pretty far north I don't know what else you would call it
but like what a giant area to be considered the Midwest I'll call the mid north right why don't
they call it the mid north because that's what it is it's it is it's so weird someone call a
map maker and let them know that we need the region defined as the mid north thank you all right
literary oh Jesus literary legend oh let's go I love me some books
Frederick Henry the protagonist of this Hemingway novel is in the Italian Ambulance Service during
World War one yeah yeah that's it that's where the sidewalk ends by Ernest Hemingway what I got
I got it I got it okay um I'm gonna guess it's a war book that he's done ah he lived a life that
Hemingway yeah he did he did he was kind of he was kind of nuts but I think he also liked his wine
he did he liked well yeah he liked his uh or the wine like Tim maybe his booze oh damn
Hemingway wrote a few books one of those books the title that this question's asking for is
the red coat of courage or something wasn't that a book no the red badge of courage that's not it though
I hated that book I had to read it in school and absolutely hated that one I was a real chore
but not Hemingway Hemingway is not he's never a chore to read he's uh quite the linguist
never have I ever read any Hemingway books I'm not sure I've either but I prefer like the smut so
oh my god you love your Fabio shit if you have wings and are an alien that is falling in love
with the human sign me I may be into that just give me a full bathtub and a one of those alien
winged books and you will travel all right jackville yeah Hemingway wrote a farewell arms oh my god
you got it right what yeah did I really yeah you got it right holy shit wow I would have never
what I tell you I'd literally been like I don't know three little pigs and the big bad wolf and the
musical it is based on is beautiful wait what farewell arms wait oh there's a musical you've
never heard it shut up idiot okay on speaking of music goals the next category is on Broadway
that's funny yeah 2000 let's go in a song from chicago uh-huh we're told to give him the old
this title give him an act with lots of flash in it okay this is an 800 dollar question oh so
you don't get it you're dummy I'm in dummy I've never okay one of my biggest regrets in my life
and I have so many of them is that I've never I've yet to see the movie chicago I've never seen
chicago huh even I saw that yeah even you and I think I won best picture right I believe it won
best picture I do love me some John C Riley John C Riley but uh let's see I wonder what he's like
in real life can you repeat that part of the question the second half we're told to give him
the old this title give him an act with lots of flash in it it's like razzmatazz or like jazz hands
give him the old razzmatazz or give him I feel like it's something like that something that kind
of rhymes with that as man give him the old razzy tazzy uh shit this would be easier if I knew more
than like two songs from chicago zaza give him the old okay time's up razzmatazz you're very close
razzle dazzle dammit dammit all right patriotic punch I think that's what I think that's the
wine I'm drinking it's patriotic punch devised in Boston in 1946 the name of this juice brand combined
patriotism and convenience that's Betsy Ross final answer okay you are right
okay okay okay patriotism and convenience you say yeah this is a horrible clue by the way
yeah it is from 40 40 something in Boston 1946 is this like a is this a soda drink
Boston likes to fancy itself the birthplace of America but we all know that that's actually
Philadelphia so fuck this brand yeah yeah I love your I love your um and fuck Boston because you
know who else lives in Boston bend the Libra I love your loyalty you know you know but this isn't
helping can you repeat the question please can you get off your Philly is great soap box also
bend the Libra sucks okay devised in Boston in 1946 the name of this juice brand combines
patriotism and convenience oh it is juice okay juice brand I know I would have been like Sam Adams
yeah that's the best juice there is out there that's right
right kran america um patriotism and convenience
shit this is a hard one it's like seven up or something it's seven up is it really no it's
fucking minute made moving on island in the sun what a charity this Caribbean nation was named
because it reminded Spanish sailors of a province back home in Spain
you'll never get it you'll never I I honestly I wholeheartedly fully believe you will never get
this the answer is Granada nope nope that was on the dimmite song too if you if you like jack
film just found out Canada was its own country so what the hell all right drink up the song
drops of Jupiter by train mentions the best one of these espresso drinks you ever had
oh yeah yeah the best song ever had and me yeah yeah this is one of those moments where I totally
made up different lyrics for that song the best the best soy latte you've ever had and the
the best shy lot no the best soy latte you've ever had and me is it soy latte it is soy latte
is it really yeah I would have never in a million years I had a Sherlock
mind palace that shit wow all right haven't thought about that song in 20 years movie moment
Alison Janney clocked in as Meryl Streep's domestic partner in the 2002 film with this
timely title and it's it's two names I believe it's blank and blank the title of the movie
yeah it it is two words not two names oh can I hear it again then maybe I'm wrong
Alison Janney clocked in as Meryl Streep's domestic partner in the 2002 film with this
timely title oh I'm thinking of something else I'm thinking of the culinary one this is not it
that's julian julia yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah clocked in 102 tell me hold on I feel like if you
don't know it you don't know it oh 25th hour no I don't know the hours no wouldn't have gotten it
no it's not that you wouldn't have gotten it you didn't get it I wouldn't have gotten it you did
not get it give me half you were very wrong very wrong indeed I get half though for getting hours
so no no there are no half points that's the rule listen alex your beck did not die to give you
half points okay real fans call him alex I call him alex you said his full name like a square oh
alex you had me messed up I'm blaming you oh shit yeah his name is alex we both had that no we
both just did that I blame this 10% white wine dude I swear to god I am fucking out to lunch
today I'm a fraction of what I normally am I am straight up like this is either our best
episode or worst episode maybe maybe both maybe both it could be both okay whatever
we're having a good time all right this is category not so great lake the smallest of the
great lakes it has a surface area of about 7500 square miles now at all how many of the great
lakes do you know their square mileage jack yeah well I know like superior is about a 20 000 it's
pretty small it's pretty small I actually have no idea it's pretty small I'm gonna say like eerie
I would have also guessed like would you I would have is it michigan it is neither of those it is
lake Ontario oh no yeah okay okay oh brother look for aretha ray james brown cab callaway
and of course twiggy and frank oz in this 1980 film comedy fuck oh brother is that the category
or is that the beginning is that just the opening of the question that is the category
is this the whiz you are a dumb ass it is the blues brothers
the category is literally called oh brother
I've never seen that one
I don't know Frank Oz wasn't that oh my goodness gracious
this is my least favorite night ever chart toppers
this band's monster album included crush with eyeliner I'd rather have another Hemingway question
the answer is rem you were incorrect I never would yeah star struck we are serious that serious
is the brightest star in the night sky with a negative 1.46 measure of apparent this
brightness don't you love like solar systems and stuff I actually do space geek how do you
not know this you love serious so they're asking for like a unit of measurement for brightness
I I don't I don't know what I know what the answer is but I don't know what it is can you
repeat it please we are serious that serious is the brightest star in the night sky hey when
they do puns with a negative 1.46 measure of apparent this visibility I thought you were a
real fan what is it of space jack apparent apparent I bet you Elon musk would know apparent what
magnitude oh no all right tv guide meanwhile well this is a quote yeah quote meanwhile
back in the Nixon suite and quote was one segment when it debuted in 1968 on a Tuesday
it now airs on another night who huh okay is this Saturday night live how did you know that
because well it was in the it was in the question I'm just kidding it's not so you didn't know it
that was I just wanted to know how you thought you knew it but then I decided that was so mean
oh no that's you want you want to see the light fade from my eyes that's what you really wanted
what a jerk 60 minutes well I thought okay but that didn't make sense it airs on a different
night like I was thinking like is it 60 minutes but like the fact like 60 minutes is on Sundays
I'm pretty sure yeah but that's a very misleading clue yeah and I know it's the clues fault that
you're done I know that was like mid 70s snl started right okay a little bit softer now
all right ready yeah this Italian word is used of music gradually getting softer
the same as decrescendo decrescendo I don't know decrescendo decrescendo decrescendo I got kicked
out of Italian class quite a bit in high school so you did I talked too much and there's no even
took an Italian class I did I took I took two two semesters of Italian yeah I know you'd be smarter
what I know is uh buongiorno and oh gee which means today uh yeah is it not like pianissimo no
it's diminuendo duh schools in session speaking of getting kicked out of class school is in session
about 2000 women attend this college in south Hadley Hadley Hadley massachusetts one of the
seven sister schools listen I will tell you I used to research the shit out of colleges I was
obsessed with transferring yeah I you've never heard of this one I've literally never heard of
this school in my life that's speaking volumes so it's not like st mary's or anything no I've I've
never heard of this school I mean it makes sense because only 2000 people attend and like what a
what a mean question then st agatha christie's mount holly holly oak holy holy oak no holy oak
nope yep name that trio okay I love trios quote got him back in my arms again so satisfied
and quote saying this trio in a 1965 chart topper oh my god fuck you it's actually the supreme is
it really it is yes did you know they were a trio I did not you just guessed I thought it would be
like literally you were just like there it is I was trying to think of like how many famous
trios I'm like isn't were the temptations a trio well I I may have almost said that but I thought
like oh but the temptations were a man group that's why I didn't say
and got him back in my oh god yeah that would have that would have worked out back in the 60s
I don't know you know what honestly though okay so we've got like a few more questions but
nailing it I just don't know oh come on give me give them to me you want all of them yes you don't
want to talk about anything else what's there to talk about I mean we could do today's horoscope
well I have quite the quite the horse how about one more we'll do one more question all right let me
pick it let me pick it I'm gonna give you two categories okay and you tell me which one you'd
prefer got it one is called fever dream okay I don't know why except for that the clue has the word
fever in it but it has nothing to do with illnesses okay so terribly named all right give me the other
category best frenemies yeah let's try best frenemies best frenemies final question in the
entrance hall of Monticello I regret this category Jefferson placed a bust of himself opposite one
of his cabinet secretary and rival oh my god is this Hamilton Alexander Hamilton yeah it's
Hamilton yeah you won yeah but to be fair like you lost most of the questions no no I gained it all
but that was the all or nothing round no no that wasn't no no no no no no no back me up on this no
she said no all right jack for all or nothing listen I don't appreciate change you a white man
changing the narrative on me an underpaid woman okay I don't appreciate it congratulations on
failing the jeopardy question quiz I think Allison and myself we are proud that what we set out to do
which was make you look stupid succeeded what in that effort I had most of them right and so shout
out to Allison thank you so much for giving yeah thank you Allison the idea and I guess before we
head into our next segment I did want to provide an official apology because last week during the
horoscopes yeah segment yes jack had asked me for a unit of time and I replied light years I have
since found out that light years are a unit of distance not time and for that I'm very sorry
and I will try to do better so that's all we ask any thank you very much for being the bigger person
and you know admitting when I'm wrong yeah yeah with that jack please yeah be the the serious
in our night sky get it with the with the magnitude of negative negative 1.4 whatever the
fuck please shine your bright light and guide us into the horoscope segment
I have a really good horoscope here for all you Aquarius listeners out but before Aaron reads it
to you I just need a little help from her honey can you help me out with this horoscope maybe if
you're nice nah can you give me an adjective used to describe a body um pale perfect
at least that's my body can I get an animal the badger yeah can I get a number between
zero and four you're not giving me many choices I'm not a number between zero and four please
one what's a word that rhymes with late there are so many I know I was gonna say
filate but then we'd get an e for explicit we're already how about slate in honor of my
stardew valley peeps ah yes that will do nicely can I get a restaurant chain red lobster perfect
can I get a food any food red lobster
yeah what's something expensive your prime membership that's about to increase in price
a little wordy but I'll take it
can I get a noun any noun can I do a proper noun I think Jesus yeah sure can I get an adjective
holy I wonder where that came from
next can I get a sad adjective holy but with an e does that count like h-o-l-e-y yeah we can work
with that because holy socks holy underwear that is sad sad socks and sad underwear h-o-l-e-y right
and then finally a sad adjective oh pathetic yep another noun please another noun placebo
hey honey can you give me a celebrity celebrity name Jennifer Lopez yes oh that actually works
annoyingly well can I get another food please veggie burger mm-hmm I'm gonna get another chain
restaurant please chick filet yep speaking of holy speaking of holy can I just get a name like one
single name like a first name Jesus does that work give me something else regular name Mary that works
that holy on the brain
there's some holes in your brain can I get another noun
disneyland yeah that works and honey what's your signature catchphrase mind the wage gap please
almost done can I get an adjective in fact I need four adjectives oh underpaid
bored fatigued uh-huh and one more translucent perfect oh that is so you it is
finally last one a verb ending in ing crying nay weeping changing to weeping changing to weeping
it's from the vegas vacation critically acclaimed academy award-winning vegas vacation if you
haven't seen it I highly suggest it okay honey would you do the honors of reading this week's
aquarius horoscope by the way we have quite a few friends that have birthdays in the upcoming weeks
hmm I think this is for them then I know that I feel like maybe you know hopefully this is
good for them I think it will be aquarius oh joy aquarius it's valentine's day
and whether you're single or pale we've got the plans for you for all you love badgers out there
listen up no more going to fancy one-star restaurants for an expensive wasteful v-day date
that is so 2000 slaves I agree instead take your date on a romantic trip to red lobster and get the
foot tall tower of red lobsters they have that right save your money so you can one day
own a prime membership that's about to increase in price being financially smart is the key
is the key to a long happy Jesus together hey and now that person plays their thing
you said it to all you holy holy pathetic singles out there we didn't forget about you
in fact some would say you guys have all the placebos yeah celebrate your single dim by going to
see the latest Jennifer Lopez movie oh my god yeah perfect perfect right at your local theater
after that treat yourself with the foot tall tower of veggie burgers that sounds depressing as fuck
at your local chick filet by the way I don't eat a lot of meat I actually too much ad-libbing too
much shut the fuck up okay you earned it champ then call your ex mary and tell them what a lousy sack
of disneylands they turned out to be and by the way disneyland is a lousy sack so then sign off with
your signature cash phrase mind the wage gap please that'll show them see aquarius valentine's day
doesn't have to be underpaid or bored it can be fatigued and translucent hey all that takes is a
little weeping okay bye hey happy valentine's day everyone wow that was beautiful and thus concludes
another episode of erin is the funny one if you have any ideas or quizzes and challenges you want
us to take with or against each other call us up on our hotline at dad hug me 10 or just text in
like just like text it in i d a d a d h u g m e 1 0 dad hug me 10 thank you guys so much for putting
up with my out to lunchness today I feel a little out of sorts but thank you so much hey you're not
the one that had to take two jeopardy quizzes today okay but to be fair you ace the one and that's why
we had to give you the other so I thought I got the columbia one wrong you asked me what was the
official language of columbia and I said columbia yeah that yeah no that was right yeah I'm actually
shocked you're joking right no are you joking I'm not joking stop it jack the official language is
Spanish what I thought you were joking I didn't know this is what I mean people what on earth so I
didn't ace oh my god I thought you were joking I thought you were joking I thought it was like a
trick question but it was like a double trick question there was like you know a double blind
kind of thing okay forget giving in quiz ideas I need you guys to submit to me questions that you
want jack to actually answer no trivia ask questions that you do not think that he will
know the answer to this man knows what the napal flag looks like but he does not know that columbian
is not the official language of columbia well jokes on you I can't I actually don't even know
where to begin with that okay so dad hug me 10 I need your trivia questions and I need them stacked
okay I have a problem this man does not only like actual eye blind face blind but he is brain blind
he thought the official language of columbia was apparently columbian so I still think it is
let's go all right thank you for listening really appreciate it god bless my soul pray for me
never and I'll pray for you guys in return okay thank you so much stay holy and or or holy with
an end we'll see you guys next week till next time haters