Erin is the Funny One - Character Debates Pt. 2

Episode Date: June 6, 2022

This week on lucky episode 44, EITFO kicks off with a boughie, funky, orange-y, cloudy wine that tastes…unlike anything your brave hosts have ever experienced. Next, it’s time for a brand new round of character debates - who will come out on top? Listen to find out. Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Welcome back to your listeners to another episode of Aaron is the funny one. I'm your host Jack and joining me is co-host Aaron. I do you think be honest co-host Aaron. Do you think I will ever earn the title of host and you're the co-host? Maybe or we both hosts and or like how when I got married I refused to take your last name. Unless this is my equivalent. Yeah. Oh, what?

That's bullshit. I am fully entitled to keep my last name. You can keep your last name just so long as I get front billing on Aaron is the funny one podcast. Ridiculous. You get to keep your last name. Why can't I keep my last name? Thus, we are in fact both hosts, not co-hosts hosts. Such a funny banter from my lovely co-host wife.

Aaron, did you know this is our 44th episode? Wait, the number 44 is a really lucky number. That's why I brought it up. Because 11 is one plus one is two and two twos is four and four times 11 is 44. Listeners, you can't see it, but she's rocking back and forth in a straight jacket as she says this. Hey, that's not funny. The last week I actually did think I was losing my mind and thought that that may be my future. Okay, way to make it real.

God. Yeah, you made it real. You brought it there. Honey, hold on. Yes. So before us, and listeners, I wish you could see this. We need to make this a video podcast because before us are two glasses of the strangest wine I've ever seen. Can you describe it to us?

This is quite possibly our weirdest wine yet, I would say. There is this fancy, schmancy, organic, all-natural market called Arawan in LA, California. I'm sure they're all over the place in California. E-R-E-H-O-W-H-O-N, I forgot where it is. It's like nowhere except they mixed up the H and the W backwards. Yes. Anyway, so we went to Arawan. It sounds like a Lord of the Rings location.

Because I really like their overnight oats and their overpriced. It's $8.50 for overnight oats. It's ridiculous. It's such a splurge item, but it's so good. Somehow the blueberries taste fucking good. It's a splurge item. This is a not sponsored podcast, by the way. Everything in that store is overpriced or expensive.

I don't want to say overpriced because... It's overpriced. I don't know what constitutes overpriced because maybe it's like, well, it's unnatural. It's the price of what unnatural costs. Anyway, whatever. So it's very expensive. And so it's definitely a splurge type of grocery store.

But while we were in there, we had to check out the wine section. And for once, I actually picked the wine out myself. How about that? Yes. So this is a wine that I picked out. And the reason I picked it out is because it looks funky. Gonna get funky, funky, funky, funky, funky. Oh my God, middle school gym dances. Clap, clap, clap your hands.

And every, like, wedding from the 90s and oaths. So, okay, so this is a funky-looking wine. First, what color would you call this wine? Fool's gold. It is the color of like a 40, like a 40 ounce malt. Oh, totally. Your beverage or? Certainly is cloudy.

A dark pale ale, maybe. Like it's definitely beer. It is the pale ale of wines. It is a beer color, for sure. Okay. And this thing, I'm not totally sure how or why, but it is cloudy. Okay. This is not your clear, crisp looking, translucent wine.

This is, I cannot see my finger on the other side of the bottle. And it's not just cloudy. There's like solid stuff in it. Do you think, I think that's sediment. Yeah. I think it's like sediment. Most sediment I've ever seen in a bottle of wine. Okay, so the type of wine, this feels like in stepbrothers

or whatever, like it's like, what was the company called? Like Procedural Wine. Yes, exactly. Okay, so the type of wine, it's called Genuine Blanc. Oh my God. Or Blanc, whatever. Worldwide. And it looks like the brand is De Levant.

And it's a 2021 Chardonnay from Redwood Valley. Great year. It says produced and bottled by Subject to Change Wine Company in Richmond, California. It's 11.5% alcohol. Oh, it's so little. So it's little, which would make me think it's probably sweet. But this shit is orange.

I would say it's more orange than yellow. Yeah, oh yeah. And it's straight up cloudy. So Jack, you're going to be the first to taste this wine. Oh, by the way, can we just also talk about the label? So the label, I believe a woman, but her fate. It looks like an old time photo from like the 80s of people at a party.

Like a house party. But it's like three white people, or white passing people at least. And they look to be having a good time, but it's on an old school camera kind of thing. And I hate white men. So anyway, can you please? That was an excerpt from our other.

Yes, we hate men in capitalism. Join in to the Patreon. We shit out of it. I'm playing Elden Ring while you're recording your eight hour manhating diet tribe. All right, let me take a sip of this. Oh, that is unlike any wine. Wait, what does it taste like?

What does it taste like? What does it taste like? I haven't tried it yet. Let me even see if this shit pops up on the Vivino app. I would not be surprised if it doesn't. OK, here's the thing. This is only 11%. It tastes like 16.

Really? Yeah. Oh, that's not a good sign. What does that mean? I don't think you're getting your proper bang for your buck in this one. I don't remember how much I paid for it. Well, I'm not talking about price.

I'm just talking about more like ABV. It had to have been under 30 bucks. There's no way I'm paying fucking. I don't pay a lot of money for wine because. I don't like it. I need you to taste it because you have a way with words. You're the ratatouille of this relationship. All right, I'm trying to see if it's on Vivino.

All right, let's see. I'd be very surprised. Oh, my God, it's on. It's on Vivino. No way. 29 ratings. OK. 4.2 out of 5, which is way higher than usual.

And that's higher than I'd give it. I'd give it a 2.4. OK, it says what people talk about. Out of 10. Orange, butter, oak, and ash minerals. That's like the notes that people say. The taste characteristics are that it's highly bold, in between sweet and dry, and more on the acidic side, allegedly.

I don't know about the acidic part. I need you to like back me up here. Take a sip. All right. A swig and a sip. Whew. OK. Funky.

Very sour. Yeah, very sour. OK. As far as Chardonnays go. I think that's the word I was looking for, sour. Yeah, Chardonnays normally aren't sour. Yeah, it's not my favorite. This straight up tastes like something

that you'd get at the Renaissance fair. Oh, really? If it were like a mead or something. OK. It would be like passing if you told me like, oh, this is what you drank in your Renaissance fair times. I'd be like, that's fine. Yeah, that's tracks.

It's not good yet. So that's fine. Yeah, I don't like this. It's it's you know what the opacity is? It's about as cloudy as like a gummy bear. Yeah, right. So it's like it's not totally see-through. It's also not totally opaque.

It is. It looks like if you melted down a gummy bear, except this gummy bear was one of the sour gummy bears. That's that's what you're going to get with this wine. Yeah, not a favorite of mine. Listeners, I don't know if I can recommend it. Yeah, it's not for me, but people like sour shit, man. You know what?

If you're into sour shit, you might like this. Yeah. What's it called again? De Levant, and it's a California genuine Blanc Chardonnay. Blanc is right. Allegedly. But it's again, it's super light on the alcohol content. And it's super heavy on the flavor. And not in a favorable way.

Not in my. Yeah, as far as cheers me, cheers. It's not for me, but maybe it's for you. Go to Erdogan, check it out. Yeah, I get some $15 oats or whatever. It's great. OK, OK, Aaron, what have we before us? OK, so yeah, exactly.

So last week, as you might remember, we played this little game where Jack film put some names in a bowl with my name on it and put some other names in a bowl with his name on it and then put a bunch of topics that we had to debate on. And what Jack film was like, he's like, you pick a character out of your bowl. I'll pick a character out of my bowl.

And then we'll pick a topic that we have to debate each other on. And the rules of the game are like, you have to be in support. Yes. Of the person you picked, no matter what. Right. You have to fight for your person. So we're doing this again, except I'm taking the game back into my own hands. And so what we've done is Jack is a cheater and I do not trust that.

Well, you don't trust men. I don't. I don't trust men at all, but I also. But I don't trust that Jack film like divvied up the characters that we were supposed to pull evenly. So I have removed the individualized bowls and I've put all of the characters into one bowl that we're both going to pick from. I have added 16 additional names to said bowls

and combined the characters that Jack had already created. And then I added eight additional topics to the bowl. Oh, I'm excited. So we're going to do a redo of last week, except we're putting the narrative back in our own hands. We're taking a pair of back. It's not history. It's her story. That's right. We're taking power back.

And so with that, what we're going to do is, Jack, please be my guest. OK. What we're going to do is you're going to pick out your character. OK. And then I'm going to pick out my character. And then you're going to pick out the topic of which we will be debating on. I love it. Can I see my character once I draw it? Yes. OK. All right. This is me picking a character out of our large bowl now. Jafar. Jack, are you familiar with Jafar?

I'm all too familiar with Jafar. Growing up as a very special little boy, Aladdin was my favorite movie. I wasn't really. Yeah, I had the soundtrack on cassette tape, and I would just listen to it on my little Fisher price tape player and recorder for hours and hours. I was obsessed with it. Must be nice children to to be able to afford the cassette tape

of the Aladdin soundtrack. So once again, check your privilege. It was great. Did you also have it on VHS? We did. Wow. Of course you did. Yeah. VHS tapes were like, what, 50, 60 bucks a pop? Yes. Yeah. That's real. Wait, were they really that expensive? Shut up. And my parents, I remember them telling me that.

And I, too, was in disbelief, like, no way. No way. We were. Yeah, they were 60. $1990 as much as a triple A video game. Isn't that insane? No, that's literally like I did. I think they may have been lying to you. I should check. Yeah, you should fact check. My parents, Donna would never. I don't think they were that expensive in 1990.

That's the equivalent of honest. Look, that that's literally equivalent of like 300 bucks. Yeah, but like VHS, like, hey, man, Disney was fucking king of home video. Actually, actually. OK, so get this. OK, so my parents have a family friend that. Yeah, I was going to say, you should know this. Well, so all of the Disney VHS tapes that we got.

And I hope I'm not like telling any secrets. But he was he worked in distribution of Disney movies. And so he would gift a lot of the Disney VHS tapes to us. And so we always had like all the Disney VHS tapes had like a black banner on the bottom that would run that would say like this video is not for resale. This is like for whatever purposes only or whatever. So like we knew we had like the inside version. But anyway, he doesn't work at Disney anymore.

But he but at one point he actually rose through the ranks of Disney and became an executive. But this was back when he was still like working in sales and distribution of VHS. And at one point he talked about when he first got hired at Disney, he got hired at Disney because he answered an ad in a newspaper. And like it was a really small like it was not the Disney we know today. Right. I don't know. I have a hard time believing that any parents could have afforded

a sixty dollar in nineteen ninety dollars VHS tape for their child. And if so, we need to get Dave and Donna on the phone and I was just going to say our guests next week, we need salary transparency right now. Dave, how much money were you making in 1990? Salary transparency is all the rage. OK, like I need to understand how much money you were making that like you chose to afford and spend your money. I can't wait to like go on a fucking boardwalk like in Santa Monica

and just shove up, you know, with a camera and a microphone, shove a microphone in someone's face and say, how much do you make? Hey, you know, I follow that. Tick tock, OK, I know. But like imagine doing that. Who does that? They have to agree to it before they talk about it. OK, they agree to it. I don't know, man. All right. OK, anyway, I have a car.

Who do you have? Oh, yeah, I haven't picked yet. We're doing something. OK, I don't know if this is one of mine or one of yours. I think it's maybe one of mine. I can't tell. I can't tell. They're all crumpled up pieces of paper to me. Well, I have. Peter Pan.

OK, all right, two classic Disney characters. Now you get to pick what what what what I'm trying to like topics. But like, how old is Peter Pan? He's like a forever boy, right? Peter Pan is immortal. That's literally the point of Peter Pan. So you can say something like, you know, who's better in bed, you know, because like, well, that's what it's like a debate.

Like, what are you, Edward Cullen? Jesus, Jack, he's a boy. He's a boy. No, but he's like, he's like, he's been around like eight years. But they never grow up. That's the whole point of never, never land. Look, OK, let me pick the fucking debate topic. You're disgusting. I know, but like, I'm going to pick the debate topic

and God help you if it's anything close to what I said. OK, so it's too far versus Peter Pan. And the topic is blank has a nicer feet than blank. All right. So we have to argue why our character has nicer feet. Yes. Than the other. Yes. So, Jack, I'd like for you to go first. I'd like for you to tell me about. So easy.

What you think about Jafar's feet. Let's me not forget Jafar is kind of a fucking sorcerer supreme. So his feet can be whatever you want it to be, bitch. But see, what I imagine Jafar's feet, I am imagining. Yeah, please. What do you imagine? Tone nails curling over the edges, lots of white, you know, that white, lots of white, lots of white, lots of clawing. If anybody were to ever scratch up against him,

he would like poke their eye out with his toenails. But that's not a wizard. Long toenails does not make a good foot. A good foot does not entail long toenails. But he can do whatever he pleases in the movie Aladdin, the original animated one, not that Guy Ritchie bullshit. He already had powers like before he was a fucking genie. He could make himself like disappear.

He could do a lot. He could hypnotize people. So he could like hypnotize thinking he has the best feet. His wand thingy could hypnotize people. Sure. He did not possess that power. He possessed a thingy that possessed that power. I had a toy, one of those. It was so cool. No, you didn't. The staff. Yeah, you did it. Oh, my God.

Made noises and shit. Stop it. Awesome. Why did you want to be Jafar? I just wanted to be anyone like I could be. I would be Jasmine if like you asked me to just because I was obsessed with that movie as a child in second grade for Halloween. Scandalous. Damn. I wore a leotard under because first off, it's October in Pennsylvania. Yeah, you're not showing any belly in October now.

And I was also seven. So, yeah, you know, no fair. But I now know I was my first. By the way, I have now learned that you cannot be Jasmine. It's culturally inappropriate. Yeah, but they sold costumes at the Disney Store. OK, I don't I don't know what to tell you. It was a different time.

It was a different time. But yeah, in conclusion, in summary, let the record show. Jafar could do anything. He pleases. And once he had that, hey, once he turns into Jeannie Jafar, bitch, it's fucking over. He can make his feet like marshmallows if you wanted to. No. So Jafar has whatever feet you want him to. Do you want Peter Pan's gross ass boy feet?

OK, so I'm not sure if you remember or recall, but Peter Pan. We are first introduced to Peter Pan in the Peter Pan movie because of his shadow. And I very vividly recall there being a scene where they have to like sew his shadow back on and they do so like on his like toesies. Like he wears these like toesies. He wears these little like knapsacks on his feet and they look so adorable. And they have to very gently sew back. And they use soap.

And they like put something with something with wax or soap. I haven't seen that movie in probably 25 years. If you see the little knapsacks on his feet, he's very nimble, very light on his feet. OK, what is what the fuck does that prove? You can fly. You can fly. Oh, that's another thing. He flies. He flies. And thus his feet barely touch the ground.

Thus there's no calluses. That's a good argument. OK. OK. They barely barely touch the ground. So he doesn't even need to like you don't need calluses. You don't even need lotion. He's got these cute little knapsacks that he wears on his feet. All right, you want to play that game all time. And then even when his feet do touch the ground, he's very nimble, very quick.

He's barely even touching the surface of the floor. And then but most of the time, to be quite honest, he's just kind of floating. So his feet are like he has a lot born baby's feet. They're like soft. That's fair. They're adorable. And he's a little boy. So like he hasn't gotten the gross. Like, yeah, yeah.

Gross adult feet. Yeah. Hobbit feet. So I I'm going to go ahead and say Peter Pan wins this. All the time. I'm so glad I didn't draw like the hobbit. And you know what? So this the debate topic that I wrote, I was actually going to say blank, like makes more money selling their feet pics. But even if that were the debate topic, I'm going to go ahead and say that Peter Pan would still win. No, no, he wouldn't.

He has beautiful fucking feet. Jafar could do whatever he could. He could have like petite lady feet or he could have like gross gnarly hobbit feet. Either way, he wins. It's whatever it's whatever the consumer wants. It's whatever the customer wants. He's like, yeah, you want goat feet? No, but here's the thing about Jafar.

I'm a wizard. Here's the thing. But you're thinking like a marketing genius. Jafar does not think like a marketing genius. Jafar is like, no, no, he has a manipulative fuck. He's manipulative. But that's Jafar's biggest shortcoming is that he doesn't understand humans at all. He doesn't understand how he's a psychopath. Exactly. So it's like, he doesn't understand.

He's like, these are my fucking feet. Why wouldn't you want my fucking feet? He would not have the knowledge to change his feet to match the market's demands. He would just be like, you're going to love my feet for what they want. And so that's why Peter Pan will win all day every day. Let's let's do this. You know what? I would absolutely. This is so not the debate topic, but I don't care.

You and I saw the live action guy, Richie Aladdin. I don't remember anything about it. Me neither. But I don't think it was as bad as people said it was. I'm not saying it's bad. It was just very forgettable. It's like, I don't even remember who played Jafar. Right. Exactly. I don't remember anything about Jafar. My point is, was Jafar in that movie? Yeah, he was. That's all sad.

Like he didn't make an impression. But like, here's the thing. We already saw that movie, you know, in the mid nineties. It was great. What we need to do is we need to adapt it for a more modern, like we should make Aladdin, but set in present times. No, we're at the genie stop. Excuse me. No, genie is like, you know, it's 2022.

It's like Post Malone. Genie's played by Post Malone. I don't know anything about Post Malone, except that's a great fit. That's a great fucking fit. Yeah. But imagine in modern times, like, you know, Aladdin is just some guy in New York or something. Aladdin got COVID. Genie, help him. And the and Jafar is like a fucking like he's a business shark.

Do you know? No. Oh, he's like Mark Cuban. And yeah, he's like wearing suits all the time. No, he's Elon Musk. He's like Elon Musk. Yeah. And he's like evil. He's manipulative. But like he's a billionaire. I'm telling you that I would rather see that movie than like 18 Guy Ritchie Aladdin.

No, no, no. You see, this is why I would not. Whatever that means. This is why I would not want to see that. Why wouldn't you want to see that movie? Because it'd be too real. Aladdin would be struggling on the streets of L.A. And it's like this is true. It's too real. It's too sad.

It's too real. Look, listeners, tell us if you want the modern day Aladdin movie. It's too sad. Calling it the hotline of dad like me too. And then just in the last week, because of like the whole panic attack thing. I'm now at the point now. I can't even watch like TikToks about sad. I'm like, whoop, whoop, whoop.

Can't watch, can't watch, can't watch, can't watch. Like that's why I don't. You can't really control what you watch on TikTok. Yes, you can. Well, it's different. As soon as you know, it's something sad. Here's the thing. Here's why I love YouTube more than I love TikTok. I have more control. More like the things I subscribe to are like things that I want to watch.

Whereas like TikTok, it just serves you thing. Like and yeah, you have to. Sure, you can tell if it's going to be good or bad, happy or sad. But it's still like fucking burns in your brain. It's like, you know, swipe, but too late. The damage is done and YouTube is not like that. I mean, YouTube shorts is exactly like that. But yeah, exactly.

But YouTube videos. You just ruined your argument. No, I subscribe to the channels I want to subscribe to on YouTube. You know, and then I watch much like proper, you know, 30 minute videos, like a big boy. I have no interest in seeing it. It's too real. Dad hugged me 10 listeners. That's all I'm saying.

OK, dad hugged me 10. OK, I won that. No, I won. Peter Pan has beautiful feet. I've already subscribed to it. Wasn't even quicky feet page. We got another air and written one. I drew the name Bo Burnham.

Oh, yes. How I propose at the time of this recording, he just released his. It's like outtakes. Yeah, hour-long like behind the scenes are outtakes and new songs, I think, on his YouTube channel from outside. They're inside. Sorry. Jack, the whole point was that he was inside and he couldn't go outside.

Shut up. You're so insensitive. This 11.0 wine is really hitting me. OK. Yeah, would you draw? I draw. I draw this one. I have drawn the wait. Actually, can you read it for me? Oh, my God. Yes. She just slid it to me across the table like a business offer.

You're like, here's what we're prepared to, you know, purchase you for. The Burger King with stars around the word the. Like he's special or something. OK. All right. So this round is. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. The Burger King, by the way. What what inspired me to say the Burger King is that you guys,

if you have seen, I don't even know if they still make these Burger King commercials, but they used to make Burger King commercials where there'd be this like dude literally with like a huge king mask like head on. And it was so creepy and freaky. But it's great. Elden ring. There are actual characters that look like the Burger King. Wait, who looks like the Burger King and Elden ring? Jack, I literally every time they come up, I go, oh, my God, it's the Burger King.

What? You've never said that once. I have said that so many times to you. Do you not listen to anything I say? Who the fuck is the Burger King? Jack and Elden ring. You know the Burger King. What area? Where are we? Are we in their wizards?

Oh, like the masks? Like the big. Yeah, they do look like the. That's right. If they look like the Burger King. That's fair. You have. Maybe you have said that. I don't know. I wasn't this. Oh, my God. That's why I don't trust men. This is why they take our right.

Like they take our ideas. They're like, guys, weeknights at 4 p.m. Whatever time zone is just Aaron's diatribe about men. I'm literally looking up what their real names are. I mean, not really, but, you know, she would. They're like wizard mages are like seal. They're like Celia, something about Celia. Wizards of Celia. Wizards of.

By the way, listeners, we are. Aaron and I are both like hooked bad on Elden ring. It's bad. We both. I'm not as hooked as you are. You're bad. You played. You're bad. You've played played 12 hours per day. That's not even true. Yes. Every day this past weekend.

Yes, you did. 12 hours. That's not true. Yes, you did. I slept until noon every day. I played three hours. I slept until noon every day. And I every day I would wake up and then you'd play from 12 to seven.

Hey, bottom line, both of us have each contributed 100 plus hours into this game. But you know why? Because I pause my game and just hang out. You can't pause. But I just hang out in like a field because I know I'm not going to get hurt. So that's why I have accumulated that many hours.

And then you yell at me because I didn't turn off the PlayStation properly. Your listeners, I beat the fire giant easy. I beat the God's skin to easy. It literally took you 12 hours. It was not easy. I got my ass kicked so many times, but I did beat him. Elden ring. All right. So she's pulling up the Burger King lookalikes.

No, that's the Wizards of Celia is not who I'm referring to. Oh, well, I didn't. At least in Google images, Big Head, Wizard, Elden Ring. They've got big heads, guys. If you know, you know, you know what they say. Oh, yeah. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. I'm not alone. Elden Ring character looks eerily like the Burger King on Game Rant.

Let me see. Look at this. I'm not alone. I fucking. OK, so I am not original in this idea. No, but I. Yeah. OK. This is a really good debate. Anyway, shut up. Look it up. It's on Game Rant. They look like the Burger King.

And that's what inspired me to do the Burger King. No, I know. All right. So wait, what was the character you pulled? OK, Bo Burnham. Oh, Bo Burnham versus the Burger King versus the Burger King. OK, all right. Horror. All right. Ready? Yeah. Oh, my God.

Stop it. No. What is it? What is it? What's the topic? Who is better at Elden Ring? Yes. No shit. I swear on my life. I just pulled this. It was a topic that Jack. That was mine. Yeah.

Jack wrote, apparently. Last week, I told listeners that I not say we were both like down bad for Elden Ring. All right. So according to my what I just described to everybody, I think my debate here is done. Now, hold on, because Mr. Bo Burnham spent all his time inside writing music. Yeah. And loving on his girlfriend, wife, person.

OK, he had a lot. What I'm saying is he had a lot of time to kill. You don't think he would have put in hours? I don't hundreds of hours. I don't leveling up his fucking build. His what? I don't know. I don't know classes in Elden Ring. What? I don't even know what I chose.

I mean, so long ago. I'm an astrologer. You don't think he spent hundreds of hours leveling up. Thank you. His astrologer. No, a wizard build. No, an intelligence build. No, I think he does things that are productive with his life unlike us. So no, I don't.

I don't know, man. I don't know. But because my the Burger King is literally in the game Elden Ring. I'm going to he is. No. OK. Well, then they're big fans of the Burger King and they are in the Elden Ring. I'm going to say that the Burger King is the best player of Elden Ring ever. No, the Burger King has one purpose in life and one purpose only. And that is to hawk burgers at Burger King.

That's not he's a king, Jack. He has he has lands doing the math. He has a land and people that live on his lands that he needs to take care of. That's the point of the king. No, no. He feeds them burgers. You don't know shit about Elden Ring. And he's a wizard. OK. He's a wizard.

No, no, he's a wizard. He's a wizard. You're thinking too far, baby. No, no, no. He's a wizard at Elden Ring and he's a wizard at making burgers. Thus, the Burger King is the better Elden Ring character, character, person, player thing. All right, let me speak in emojis. OK, ready? Imagine this is a tweet. OK.

No, don't talk to me like that. Imagine this is a tweet. Absolutely not. Bo Burnham Fox hard with Elden Ring. No. And why did Elden Ring not get a clap? I was like, too many claps like this joke sucks. But yeah, exactly. But you know, Bo Burnham doesn't play Elden Ring. Not. But he's got the time to because he was inside all the time.

He does. I have the time to learn Portuguese. Do you still? OK. Do I know how to speak Portuguese? Listen, all all respect and love to Mr. Burnham, he made an incredible piece of art last year with Inside, infinitely quotable, earworms of songs and really deep messages in the songs. That being said, and I'll blame him one bit.

Dude's kind of coasting off the inside success. No, he's not because he's just. Yes, because he's hard at work at his next thing. What? Well, then why did he? Why is his latest YouTube video over a year after? Oh, Jack, let's not talk about things we coast on. OK, let's not squeeze me. Let's not even go there.

What the hell? Uh-huh. I'm just saying and and no hate, no hate, because like, hey, nothing but respect. But I'm saying he's got time to play Elden Ring because he's still uploading stuff from Inside, which is over a year old song to say. He's probably busy off like he's like level 500 in Elden Ring. You know.

Does anybody know Bo Burnham? Can we get him on here? Just I just seen him for ladies and gentlemen, our next guest, Bo Burnham. I need him for 30 seconds. I just need to settle a debate. Yes, I just need it's a yes or no question. Do you or do you not play Elden Ring? Oh, I'm so excited for him to be like, yeah,

it cost me like four million runes, not a level up. It's a pain in the ass. Bullshit. All right, Mr. Burnham, I win that one, whatever. By the way, before the debate even started, I won. It was kind of funny that you drew that category. Kind of. It was meant to be. Excuse me, why don't you draw a name?

You go first this time. And how about this? You know what? Let's mix it up. Don't look at the name. All right. I won't look at my name. I won't look at the name. But we can look at the topic. How's that?

OK. OK. You have your name? Yeah. I have my name. Why don't you pick a topic? Don't look at the names yet. So we're going to get the topic first. Let's go. The topic is.

Oh, God. What's the topic? The person that you have selected. You have to argue that they have an entire room full of hamsters, probably. Interesting debate choice, honey. I don't think that was one of mine. But OK, so.

So we have to argue that our character, our person. Yes. Has a room full of hamsters, probably. All right. Why don't you why don't you? You know what? No, I'll go first. Yes. Let me find. Let me reveal my name.

OK. What if I revealed my name first and then made the argument and then you read your name? OK. OK. That's that works for me. You want to try that? Yeah. OK. That works for me. So honey, my person is the entire cast of selling sunset. Oh, my God. You can't tell me that those rich ass people

collectively, like amongst all of them, you can't tell me there's not one room just full of dead and alive or both hamsters. You can't tell me. All right. They're all they're all hella rich. They all have they're all like real estate moguls. So they all probably have gorgeous, you know, homes in their own right. You cannot tell me one of them doesn't have a basement just full of,

you know, fucking some encages, some some roaming free hamsters. You cannot tell me that the odds are so in my favor. What do you think that the odds are that they're using them for Richard Gehr type purposes? Oh, my God. I don't think the odds are high. I think it's closer towards hamster knife fights because they're like because they're not sexual deviants. I think they're just like their business people.

They're they're never not thinking about dollar signs. OK. So they hold private hamster knife fight nights. And they tape they tape little, you know, toothpicks or whatever to their heads. Oh, like unicorns, like unicorns. They turn them into unicorns and they know like they know all the the the social elite in Holly Weird. And so they're, you know, and it's very hush hush. You can only you can only gamble in crypto.

And you need like three passwords just to get in. You got to like be someone to have access to these hamster toothpick fights. You think it's for clout? Duh, they're very, they're very thirsty. They're very thirsty. You just said it was all about the money. It's not about the money for like the you literally just said it was. Squeeze me.

Leo, Leo headphones, dino bones is totally in on this. Leo headphones, dino bones love his gambling. He's not doing it for money like like he gives a shit, please. He's he's richer than God. He's fine. He doesn't do it for the money. But I'm saying that the org, you're right. The organizers, Ergo, AKA the entire cast of selling sunset, they're smart. They're not as rich as Leo.

They're going after those Leo bucks. They're doing it for money. It's their marketing scheme. This is their after hours side hustle. OK, so you cannot tell me there's no underground hamster fight ring amongst the selling sunset cast. I have heard that if you go past the Oppenheim Realty Group office during the day, good memory, it is empty.

Oh, really? That's weird. That's suspicious. Aaron, Aaron teaches me TikTok sounds and I hate her for it. Like now I know what that is. All right, honey. So who do you have? And the topic at hand is who is most likely to have a hamster room? Oh, no. Probably.

The cast from that stupid Harry Potter spinoff series that takes place in the United States. Oh, my God. Oh, those amazing, fantastic beast movies that everyone has seen and totally doesn't like, you know, ignore. All right, so hold on. Jude Law, I think, is in them. I think he's into some freaky shit.

That guy's definitely got a room full of hamsters. Also, they need hamsters because they love their fantastic beasts. And what is not a fantastic beast? If not a hamster. They are pretty fantastic hamsters are fantastic and beastly. Hey, I don't mean to, like, argue your case for you, but, like. Jude Law's into some. No, don't. He's got to have a hamster room.

You think so? Oh, yeah. That guy's got. Come on. He's got some weird shit going on, for sure. That's all I'm saying. He, like, dresses them up as all of his roles. He has an enemy in a hamster. He has a Rango hamster. He's got a fucking. You know, he's got a Jack Sparrow hamster, a Willy Wonka hamster.

Oh, my God, he's got a whole cage of just like there's like a Jack Sparrow hamster, but they also have one dress is like Orlando Bloom and Karen Knight. Collection of hamsters. This one's dressed up as. It's the who's the fear and loathing? Oh, my God. I don't know. I never saw that movie. Oh, my God. I'm sorry. Let's have to rest.

Thompson. Thank you. There's my owner of Thompson hamster. Oh, my God, you know, he does. I hate to, like, argue against my point. But yeah, motherfuckers. So you know, I won, right? You know, I won. Did you remember that Johnny Depp was in those movies?

Well, because you were the first one to do law. Well, yeah, of course. But I remembered he got fired. He sure did. You know who replaced him, which is Jude Law. Oh, who? No, who replaced Johnny Depp? Max Mickelson. Mads, Mickelson. Max's brother, honey.

Wait, did Mads, Mickelson really do it? Yeah, I liked that season of that one at Hannibal, he was Hannibal. Hannibal was dark and I watched that for one season. That was good. It's hard to watch, but it's also like really good. I like I don't really think it then just continued on. But I had seen it.

I think two or three seasons. Yeah, I had seen enough. I got the premise. Yeah, I got it. He eats. That's a good show. I spoiler alert, he eats people. What the fuck, Aaron? Yeah, everyone knows you just ruined the show.

I know, I know. Let's do another one. OK, I win. Yeah, I'll give you that because Johnny Depp, he's got a hamster room in. OK, all right, we're going to do I want to do the same thing that we just did. OK, all right, I think this is one of yours.

It's a little guy, a little fella. All right. And then you're also going to pick the topic. Oh, OK, all right. Here I go, taking a topic. Can we like I wonder if Johnny Depp, as he's trying to liquidate his estate, if he'll like sell off his hamster collection,

I actually would love to buy like the Orlando Bloom hamster. That would be fun. The hamsters are not for sale. They stay with me. I don't know how to do a fucking Johnny Depp impression. It's fine. That was good enough. I think people have got it.

You know what I mean? Yeah. All right, here we go. Blank. Blank is most likely to be put on the no fly list. Oh, OK. That's a good one. Yeah. All right, so who's more likely to be on the no fly list? Do you have your name? I haven't. I haven't opened it.

Why don't you go first? OK. And make your argument. State your case. Oh, this is easy. Oh, yeah. Who is it? The jackass boys. Why? Why do you think?

Well, first off, I'm pretty sure Ben Margera was already put on the no fly list. I'm he's been kicked off many a flights and I'm not making light of mental health at all. But I'm like, I think that's factual that he is being kicked off many a flight or not allowed to board. What about Mr. Knoxville?

He's Hollywood royalty at this point. Yeah, I could just see those boys causing enough raucous. You think? I think a lot of them are actually sober now, aren't they? I couldn't tell you. I know Steve was sober. Steve is sure. I don't know about the others, but it doesn't matter.

They're wild and raucous enough that they would still cause and wreak havoc and they would put everybody's lives in danger such that they would not. They would be put on the no fly list. They're sweet boys. They're responsible boys. They would never endanger the lives of others. There was just them.

Jack, there is a scene in the latest Jackass movie for Jack, just motion to me for the number four. And there were a number of scenes that I did have to like look away. Like I will vomit if I watch this one is including some excrement from a pig. That oh, yeah, is used to impregnate other pigs.

That's fucking disgusting. That's not excrement. Yeah, it's excrement. Isn't that just like any fluid that's X? Oh, I didn't know. I thought that was just like. Wait, is excrement only shit? Well, I mean, I thought it was any type of thing that exits your body.

Well, maybe it is. OK, so it's a thing that exits your body that can be used to impregnate other things. And it's disgusting. I have no need to watch anything related to that. For that alone, I'm putting them if they were ever on my flight. I think I'd exit the plane. And so whether or not they be put on the federal no fly list,

they're put on Aaron's no fly list. And that's all that matters at the end of the day. It's not. It wasn't the topic at hand, but that's fine. Let me see who I've got. So you have the jackass boys. I have Albert Einstein. Oh, tell me, why would he be put on the no fly list? Have you seen that unhinged picture of him

with his hair all astray and his tongue out? I'm sorry, he invented electricity. So he did. Yes, we've all seen it. And he was bragging about his findings. I well, yeah, I don't want the fucking master of electricity on my airplane. Why not? Because what if he fucking pulls a Voldemort or whatever

shocks the plane while it's in mid flight? Like that's a chance I'm not willing to take. So there you go. No, my my my boys are automatically placed. Like they're they are their menaces to society. And Albert Einstein, if anything, the only reason he would be put on the no fly list is because the government is like he knows too much.

We can't let him know that planes don't actually fly and they're actually just time machines. So we can't let him fly on the plane. He'll let everybody know. That's why. Well, didn't his findings prove that planes are time machines? That, yes. But didn't they also eventually lead to the construction of the of the first atomic bomb?

I have no idea. I don't want that man on my plane. I don't know anything. But wouldn't honestly, though, do you know that there are people in real life that actually don't think that planes do what they do? Stop it. They they they don't think they fly. They think they are actual like warps, like they're warps machines. Are they the same people?

Like is the Venn diagram of them and flat earth? There's a circle. Yes. OK, maybe just making sure. Yeah, maybe sounds about right. Or it's a very narrow. Yeah, Venn diagram. Yeah. I think you can put Q on it. But yeah, there are people. I feel like I've fallen down like a reddit thread before,

where like there are people that absolutely do not believe that planes actually fly. That's so sad. Yeah, so sad. But they don't. So what's that about it? USA. It's depressing. It's their freedom to believe that. OK. Yeah, I guess it is. OK, one more. All right. Last one for tonight. How do you want to do the last one?

Topic first. Topic first. Topic first. You take the last one. It's a very technological process. Taking through the. The topic at hand is. Pull out a person and then I'll read it to you. OK. OK. The cat in the hat. What's the topic? Oh, God.

You have to argue that the cat in the hat is most likely to capture a coyote and post on Facebook that they found someone's lost dog. My God. That's so fucking specific. The dog is in quotation marks. Right. Well, OK, well. Is it OK? First off, the cat in the hat from the book, as I recall,

he's all about having fun and mischief and merriment. This is so right up his alley. Wait, but he's serious. He thought he cat. He's like, guys, I found a lost dog. Can I read the prompt? Can I read the prompt again? Yeah, here is most likely to capture a coyote and post on Facebook that they found someone's lost dog. Yeah, this has this doesn't say genuine at all.

This is something he would do to entertain children on a rainy day, on a rainy, parentless day. This is what that mischievous cat in his mischievous hat would do. You'd be like, hey, kids, you want to have some fun? Let's go. Let's go to the. Let's go to the fucking desert and canyons and find ourselves a coyote. And then give me your mom's laptop.

I have an idea. That's what that's what Mike Meyers's cat in hat would absolutely do. And I think the Dr. Seuss one as well, I think they both would do it. They'd shake hands on this because what is what is the cat in the hats? One mission to entertain bored children. Is that what the purpose is? Sure. And this is what he would do.

I'm not sure I ever understood his purpose. He's just he's just he's just he's just he's just a cat in the hat. Yeah, he's a crazy son of a bitch. And he he's down to fuck. Troublesome, though. Yeah, trouble. He's troublesome. But he is. But the thing is, how would that result in them

getting into trouble? Because that was his like number one goal is like. Yeah, because getting other people into trouble. Are you kidding? He'd be like, here's my address and it'd be the kids address. Please, please come within these hours and it's all hours. But nobody would come because it's nobody's dog. It's a coyote.

OK, first, honey, the cat in the hat is very skilled at Photoshop. He would make that coyote look like a dog and be like, oh, I found a cute little puppy, Wobber Dog, oh, give him pets. Come to, you know, one, three, four maple leaf, you know, blah, blah, blah. He would absolutely fuck up someone's life. By shoving a coyote in their face. OK, OK, OK, hold on. Yeah, who'd you draw?

All right, my pick of somebody who would do this. Oh, Poo Bear. Oh, please, please tell me how Winnie the Pooh Bear would do this. Poo is just such a nice. Is Poo a boy? I think so. I think you can say boy. I don't know if Poo is a boy. No bother. Oh, bother.

Poo would do this mostly just because Poo gets confused easily. That's very fuck. That's a good point. Poo just wants to do the right thing. But a lot of times Poo just gets confused and Christopher Robin, I thought it was a dog. Oh, yeah, he would. He just wants to do the right thing. And he's a very nice Poo, you know, so I actually could see

the coyote becoming one of their like friend crew. Like you got your Eeyore. Sure, OK. You got your tigger and you get your piglet and you have a coyote. And now you've got a coyote. Yeah, is it coyote? No, it's coyote. No, it's just how some people like it's just like another name for it. Coyote Peterson. He's my favorite.

You love Coyote Peterson. You love Coyote Peterson. Did you meet him? I did. OK. In an elevator at VidCon. I, too, met him at VidCon and it's separate. I was not in the elevator. He didn't know who you were, though. He didn't know who I was either, but that's OK.

I would expect him to know either of us. I think he's too busy being bitten by black widows. I tried to cyber stalk him at one point. I'm pretty sure he's married and maybe has children. God, so listeners, this is what Erin does. She cyber stocks everyone. I had a crush on him. Leave me alone. Oh, my God.

He's in the taller chicks. I can't believe we just got cucked live on there. Yes, you can. Imagine if the tables were turned and I was like, I was looking her up. I had a crush on her. Yeah, that's fair. You know what I mean? Sure. But this is why double standards exist. So listeners, weigh in, weigh in on this debate.

Let us know who won, who's next, you decide. But yeah, please let us know who you think got the most dubs and who got the fewest L's on our second installment of Raffle Debate Night. Also, if you guys want to come over and drink the rest of this bottle of wine, I don't foresee us drinking it. No, we'll leave it on our on our front doorstep. Yeah, just for you. Just grab it. Do you hear that?

I hear something. Is it time? Beating of the hearts of the gods. It's Gemini season, bitch. It's two. There's two heartbeats. Well, then we better do this. We better try to make a double joke. It's not happening. Yeah, it's better we double the. You know what's a double joke?

What's that? I'm looking at it. Fuck you. That hurts. No, it didn't. All right. Here, Gemini's. I go first. Is your horoscope? Selling candy to. I'm sorry. Do you want to go back?

Try again. Selling sunset is canceled. What the fuck? So I recommend binging. Selling sunset, colon, season to and half as. No, my next one is as soon as possible. It will blow loads. Oh, my God, Eric, Stephanie. Rear, like, is there Stephanie?

I don't remember. OK, cool. What is her problem? Am I right? Rear, Brian, more like. Trium, Wilbur. Yeah, honey, come on. Tell them about Wilbur from a season two and a half of. More like. Chill, Bert.

This is honestly the greatest podcast of all time. Your horoscope is so meaningful that we decided to give an oral unsponsored breakdown of your favorite fears. Selling sunset is number one at heart. Your brain fears. Cancellation. Gemini. I'm happy that we could come.

Period. Enjoy your life. See you. Never. Ta. Da. Wow. Baby, I don't want to say this, but I think the gods forgot to like channel

themselves through us. I feel like maybe we were winging it. I don't know. I don't want to. I don't want to say it, but I feel like the gods were absent today. I don't know about your gods, but my gods were present and accounted for. As long as you felt their presence. We gave each other a salute on the way in anyway. Oh, cool. Very cool.

Listeners, thank you for tuning into this week's episode of Aaron is the funny one. And as always, if you want to call or text in with any thoughts, concerns, quiz ideas, podcast ideas or questions, just call or text us at dadhugme10. Oh, also, I've been playing be funny now on my Apple iOS device. And I finally came in the top one percent. Oh, I got myself some golden fucking pants. I can't wear them. I don't have that shit.

And I made the game. They already have been worn there on. But my username on the app is dry itchy scalp. So if you I'm entering into public games constantly, that's who you're playing against. People love throwing tomatoes at me. It's awesome. So I think they can friend you too. Now they know you.

Oh, my God, come friend me. Friend me. I'm dry itchy scalp. Friend me on be funny now. I can't wait to see you. Can't wait to hear from you. Funny now is available on iOS, Android and Steam, and it's free on all platforms. It's also cross platform. Send me friendship requests.

I love you guys. Can't wait to talk to you guys next week. The next time, haters.