Erin Doesnt Watch Jacks Videos
00:00Welcome aboard via rail.Please sit and enjoy.Please sit and stretch.Steep.Flip.Or that.And enjoy.Via rail, love the way.
00:16Ooh, it's dirty.No, let me try that again.Don't you dare turn my podcast into your fucking YouTube channel, okay?What do you mean by that?Let me try that again.Oh, like, you don't get any do-overs?because I was going to, it's the 12th episode, so I'm going with like any dozen puns.So I'm like, dirty dozen because it just sounds really cool.
00:36Can I tell you about what I think about when I think about the number 12th?Yes, you may.When I was 19 and 20 years old, I dated a boy.Let's call him Chris Christofferson.Uh-huh.He was a Libra.He was my big heartbreak.Wasn't Chris Christopherson a rocker?
00:53I have no idea.Okay.This man also had an alliterative name.Hmm.Turns out he ended up being an asshole.and his favorite number was 12.So you have a negative connotation with the number 12.I do.
01:05Is what you're getting at.I do.Uh-oh.All right.Well, then we better start off strong listeners and wife.We're going to start off nice and strong with a brand new wine of the week.And this is...You know what's good when there's a screw top?
01:20That's right.Yes.The best wines have screwed.I will say I'm a fan of convenience and I appreciate it's got a screw top.I also am a fan of convenience, but get this.President Steve used to have a cast member.What do you call it?Is that a cast member?
01:35Yeah, we can call on that.Of their show, she was let go earlier this year because of capitalism.But besides the point, her name is Kathy Romano.I hope she's on her way to do bigger and better things, even though we do love PresidentSteve.It was not up to them.It was up to their capitalist overlords.And she swore she could tell the difference between a screw top.
01:58and a corked wine.Oh, did she?And they tested it once.And she got, I'm pretty sure 100% correct.Oh, that's fascinating.Yes.What do you think the difference is between screw top and corked wine?I don't know.
02:10We'll have to get back to that because this is a screw top wine.It's a chardonnay.It's Naomi, M-E-I-O-M-I.How would you pronounce that?Miami, Miami, Miami-M-O-M-O-M-O-M-O-M-A-M-O-M-E-M-O-M-E-M-M-A-M-M-E.You're right?It's a 13.Miami, Miami. When Mario, when the guy who voiced Mario was like first trying to record takes for that, that's what he would say. Meal my, before he settled on Mamma Mia.
02:38Meanwhile, hold on. I'm going to actually turn off our hotline. Do not disturb to see if anybody calls in while we're recording. Oh shit. Now it's a party.I have a feeling. They won't. I just have a feeling. But I say we try it anyway.Okay, I'm in.All right.Turning off now.We've never had someone call in live before and we haven't made any announcements.What do you think happened?Okay, the last time somebody called was less than 45 minutes ago.
03:08Okay.I feel like the odds are fairly decent.I think we have a 50-50 shot of someone calling in.I think we get more texts than we do calls.So I'm going to turn off my...It's easier.I'm going to turn off my silent.I don't even have vibrate on most of the time.
03:24Yeah.I find it triggering.I get scared when I hear the vibrate.But I'm going to turn on the sound.And if someone calls in, we'll hear him.That's very exciting.We will be, we may be interrupted at some point during this.I'm okay with that.
03:38To talk to somebody on the hotline.Let's do it.Why the hell not?But in the meantime.Oh, yeah, we're supposed to be drinking wine.He-he.Cheers.I just poured you a glass.
03:46That's the one.Yeah.So cheers me.Cheers.It's Naomi Chardonnay.Uh-oh.Buttery.It's very buttery.
03:55Very buttery.Oh, no.I like buttery.Jack, I like buttery.The more golden, the butterier, the oakier, the better in my opinion.That's pretty good.I actually had this week, I was in Napa for a work thing.And Napa is like, it is the weirdest thing because it's this, it feels like it's
04:13kind of in the middle of nowhere.And you're surrounded by like kind of like rolling hills of like farm kind of becauseit's just all grapes.Right.Just vineyards and such.And you have the best restaurants I've ever been to in my entire life, all within this, like, really small, like, town area.It's so cool.Anyway, so I was in Napa earlier.
04:36And we went to this French restaurant called Bouchon, I want to say.And it was good.And I got French onion soup.Duh.And I also had French chardonnay.That was oaky, not buttery, and it was still delicious.And I'm usually not a fan of French chardonnese because they're,like more on the tartar side, tartar, tartar sauce.
04:59Well, do you, do you prefer buttery over Oki?I think this week I think I learned that I like Oaky over buttery.Interesting.Very.So this is, this is buttery over.This is fascinating, guys.Like, I'm going to, they're going to fucking come and capture me like they did E.T.And they're going to like take me and study me because it's that interesting.
05:21It's just that interesting.This is the riveting rapport that listeners have come to expect that Aaron is the funny one.Christ, guys, I almost bored myself there.Anyways, I give this a four and a half out of five, if not a straight up five out of five.I'm a fucking fan of this chardonnay.I'm going to, it's a little sweet, a little sweet.Nah, it's just fine.I'm going to say four out of five.
05:47That's still really high for you.Four out of five is, because you're a piggy bitch.But I also love my chardonnay.I'm a shardonnay bitch, too.Well, I thought of you when I saw it.Guys, I feel like a kid, like, watching paint dry with waiting for somebody to call.Nobody's called yet.Aaron is so upset.
06:09She's so disappointed.What if we called them?Don't.Why?No, that'd be so funny.Don't call anyone.Wait, that'd be so funny.There's a one-way phone line.
06:18Wait, it'd be so funny, though.A one-way phone line.Should we do it?No.Why not?That'd be funny.Who would we call?The people that have called us.
06:27The person that called 45 minutes ago, that'd be really funny.What do they call about?I don't know.Let's see.Hold on.Let me read like what the message said.We're never going to get to the quiz.Let's move on to the quiz since Jack doesn't like chaotic fun, like calling people that have called me, which is fun.
06:46No, I like chaos normally.But we're on a bit of a crunch now.And I apologize.but Aaron, I have a quiz for youand by I, I mean my wonderful,wonderful team and counsel.They have come up with yet another quiz.Not for me, though.
07:03This time for you.And also for you, dear listenersand viewers if you're on the Jacksonor YouTube channel.But anyhow, we have a quiz.What's the quiz called?The quiz is called Yai or not quiz.Oh, fuck.
07:19Yeah, oh fuck is right.I don't know shit about Yai.So Aaron doesn't watch any of myvideos. Not a one. Not a one. Over the last 19 years I've made not hundreds, thousands of videos.And I only ever show Aaron the good ones. Which means I don't, she hasn't watched anything.And I don't, I'll be perfectly honest. I don't even like when Jack shows me the quote unquote goodone. No, she doesn't. Because then he looks at me. He looks at me and waits for me to laugh. And,and then he gets upset if I don't have the appropriate.
07:53reaction that he was expecting. Oh, did you not, do you not get it? It was really funny. Here's why it wasfunny. God forbid I have some feedback. I go, oh, what if we, it's already done. Oh, you don't get it. No,you don't. And it just ruins the whole night. So I, I'm like, no, I don't, I do not watch Jack videos.This is, this has been a, what do you call it, a soft spot. Point of contention. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly.Yes. So for Yai, I don't, we're on, we stopped numbering and counting them.Wait, really? If we're on episode 700, I would.Stop.Yeah.
08:24Wait, that's so sad.How else do you keep track of them?Well, here's a deal.Why did you stop?I'll tell you why.I think it's intimidating for a newcomer, for a viewer, like a first time viewer.Oh, that's fair.To like, if they see a video and it has like an intriguing title and then in parentheses, yi number 658.
08:43Have you gone back and renamed all of the rest?No, no, no.But like, you know what I mean?Like, that's the one reason why I don't number them is to, not to, not to, is to, not to, is to, not to, is to know.It's $658 to figure that out.Because I'm slow, Aaron.Yeah, fair.I'm 19 years on YouTube and I'm still learning shit.
08:59If I had watched your videos, I could have pointed that out after Yai 3.What, that I shouldn't number them?Yeah.It's a shame, really, that you didn't have your smartest, brightest, best person in your life watching your videos.Because I could have told you that years ago.It is a shame.It's, you know what?It's not.
09:19What is it not?It's not cathartic.No, it's not.That joke will only work if that bit makes it in the not Patreon verse.The bit being, you being an idiot.Is that right?That's right.You miss using the word cathartic.
09:35Like, what the fuck?So, so Aaron, this quiz will be awesome because you don't watch any of my hundreds and hundreds of yye episodes.We're on either high 600s or low 700s or maybe even more.I've lost track.Anywho, here you go.Ready, honey?I'm right.Oh my god
09:52Somebody's goingHelloThey weren't expecting thatWaitWaitWaitWaitCan I call them back
10:13NoFuckDon't call them backYou're boringI know butYou're so boringDon't call them backWell should we call them back
10:20You know whatI say we call them backCall them backI know you wantI can see it in your eyesYou want to call them backStar 69 of themSpeaker on
10:28YeahPlease leave your messageNoNoAll right, keep that on you.That's fine.That makes me so sad.No, don't.
10:39Don't.They're just, no one's expecting you to actually pick up.I'm going to text them.Have they texted before, though?Because like...I don't know.This is awesome.I'm sorry.
10:49Oh, I upset the girls with my cackling and screaming.I'm sorry, Chip Witch Clinic and Sunday.Go back to sleep.I texted.Call me back.I want to talk.I just want to talk.Okay.
11:14Oh, that's so funny.You're going to be so distracted for this quiz,which is fine because this is a really fun tangent.Yeah.All right.In the meantime,while we wait for a possible call,and we don't know if it's going to happen.
11:28Oh, God.She's watching our phone like a hawk or a falcon.It's Aaron.Are they, wait.Did they say anything or are you just?No, I'm just.Jesus, Aaron, you're, you're coming off a little clingy.You're coming off a little clingy.
11:44Listen, I have an insecure attachment style.I know you do. Okay.I know.Okay.But that's, I'm anxious attachment attachment.You are, you are not playing this cool.Right?I never pretended to be cool.
11:57You're supposed to wait 48 hours before you text them back.Isn't that the rule?Have I ever claimed to be cool?I've only ever claimed to be, no.You've absolutely claimed to be cool.I've only ever claimed to be cooler than you.That's a lot.That is it.
12:09I have never claimed to be cool.Honey, that's a low fucking bar.I know.Hence why I've never claimed to be cool.Oh, my God.Okay.Yye or not quiz.This was written by our team members, Erica and Jules.
12:21Here we go.Honey, was this a yi or not?Okay.Out of the hundreds and hundreds of yi episodes I've put out.Okay?What subreddit describes your sex life?Oh, my God.Did I do that, Aaron?
12:35Was that a yi I put out?If you did, that's so cringe.Why is that cringe? That's a cool...That's like such an ask Reddit like question.One would have to be terminally online to both ask and answer such a question.Luckily, I'm both.Why do you want to know about people's sex lives?I don't, Aaron.
12:56God, you have to make it so gross all the time.I don't actually want to know.It's just...It's because I'll tell you this.Here, I'll spoil this.I don't know if this is on the quiz or not.One of my earliest y' eyes, she's looking at her phone.She's staring at her phone.
13:09She's just waiting for someone, waiting for someone to call her text back.It's so sad.It's like a kid waiting for Santa the night before on Christmas Eve.I swear.Okay, no, I was going to say, I have done, like, one of the first CI's I ever did was what movie describes your sex life, right?Just to get funny answers.I'm not actually like accurate, believe you to give accurate answers only.Like, no, it's just like meme worthy, meme savvy answers.
13:35Yeah.Okay.Yeah.So, Aaron, did I do the CI?What subreddit?You did because you're disgusting pervert.Is that your final answer?Yes.
13:43No,I never did that.Fuck.That's fake.I'm actually,you don't watch me.I'm glad.No,
13:48of course I don't.Because I don't know about your sex life either.But also,I'm actually relieved that that was not a real.Oh, you are?You're relieved there?I'm relieved.Yes.
13:58Oh, I'm glad to relieve you.I'm glad to give you catharticism.Yes.Next up,let's see how well you fair.Did you,wait,do you remember every yai you've done?
14:08I don't even remembershit we've talked about last week on this podcast. So that's a very good question. I'm worried thatthere will come a question on this quiz where I go, oh no, wait, I don't remember if I did this or not.Because there are a lot of yyes where I think to make, and I never do, and they sit in the back burner.There are y'is where my team they've collected answers for, and then for whatever reason I just neverwent and filmed them. So that may very well happen tonight where like I come across something.and you're like, you didn't do that?And I go, I don't remember.
14:41And that'll be very sad.Okay.Because my brain is Swiss cheese.Speaking of, what does Cuck stand for?Yes, you did do that.Did I do that?Yeah, Aaron.Did I do what does C-U-C-K stand for?
14:51And I'm embarrassed by it.But let me tell you what it does stand for.Yeah, tell us, what does Cuck stand for?Aaron's actually pretty good at this.Aaron's actually really good at this, like the best.Shut up.I'm trying to think of a word that starts with K.Yeah, it's hard, right?
15:08K is the worst letter.Besides Klondike.K is always giving me 12 vibes.Oh, she turned around.Lie down, baby, lie down.I know.Klinek is, that's different.Sorry, we're saying your name a lot.
15:16It's different.It's different.Clondike is different, but K is like the hardest.What about no or new or known or knowledge?The silent K's.Could you?That's a good start.Could you cuck me?
15:31Crack knuckles?Hey, could you crack knuckles?I love cracking my knuckles.Yeah, she's doing it right now. Very good. That's clever. I'm trying to sneak incathartic in there, but just, you know, stop fiddling with your phone. No one's going to callin. No one's going to text to. Damn it. Why are they mad at me? I just wanted to be their friend.You scare them off. You actually scare them off. I totally scared them off. No, you absolutely did.There's no doubt in my mind. They're like, ooh, ooh, didn't want, didn't like that. The answer,
16:01what does Cuck stand for? Did I do that or not? No, I didn't do that. I never did that.Oh.Why'd you think I did?Because you're a cuck.And you were trying to find other...My wife, ladies and gentlemen.You were...You were trying to find other cucks out there.
16:17You were trying to...There are dozens of us.The same way I keep refreshing my fucking phonetrying to find friends to connect with,you were trying to actually find other people.Come on, guys.It was a bait and switch.You just wanted to see, hey, that's not nice.
16:33Hey, bait and switch.There are cucks out.out there too.All right, I'm going to close my phone.We're proud.I'm going to close my phone.We're a proud community.All right, here you go.
16:44Next up, honey.Yai or not?No.What are your best shaving tips?No, no, no, no, no.If you did do that, this is like,at what episode did you actually jump the shark?And when did we just like every single episode?
17:05after that is just us banging our head against the keyboard,hoping that auto type or whatever predictive text will come up with the nextyi prompt for us.Can I be honest, Aaron?Yes.I don't actually remember if I did this or not.Okay.Can I explain why?
17:23Because it would have been when you had a mustache or something.Or, yeah, or.Or that time you shaved your face against my best wishes.When did I do that?Like, I don't know a few years ago.And I said I can't even fucking look at you.You've grown so accustomed to the beard, right?Why is your face so fleshy?
17:40No, no, no.Disgusting.If anything, this would be a really good segue way for a Harry's sponsor, one of those,or Dollar Shave Club sponsor, one of those sponsors that like, yeah, ships like razors and such.Where are they been?Harry's, where are you at, bro?Haven't heard from you in a while.Thought we were friends.
17:56Harry's, I can always use a little.I think Dollar Shave Club, I don't know that it exists anymore, does it?I actually have no idea.Yeah, Dollar Shave Club, where are you at?Where's my money?So wait, this is...Honey, I'm actually...Can you swipe the script?
18:12You couldn't have come up with a fucking better prompt than that?Even for a fucking ad?Are you kidding me?Wait, can you swipe?Because I don't remember if I did this one or not.Christ, I would have rather you said,what are the best ways to use a razorwithout killing yourself?
18:27Jesus Christ.I think I did.I did.Okay, wow.Clearly a memorable yye.Fuck, man.That was scary.I really didn't remember if I did or didn't for a second.
18:37That's really scary.You could have fucking used it to do razors in your apples or some shit.Oh, well, no, that was way before.Raisers, razors in your...You could have fucking shaved an apple.You could have tried to prove how good the razors were.By shaving an apple?Maybe.
18:53I don't fucking...What the fuck are you talking about, Aaron?I'm just thinking about apples and razors now.Why do you have apples in your...No.Because you have razors in the apple.That's the only shit I know that you've done.Something about, and sharpening candy canes into little stabby things.
19:08Shakes.Sean Klitsner's in that one.Toby Turner's in that one.Oh, tell me more about all of your problematic friends, Jack.Okay, Sean's not problematic.No, he's not.He's a good boy.He's a good boy.
19:19Next up, yi or not.Write the emoji movie one line at a time.Yeah, that's real.That's fucking real.You were fucking near obsessed with the emoji movie for a very long time.More obsessed with just like the idea of it being a real.real movie.Can I tell you?
19:40I've realized I've never been.The fascination of it.I've never been.You were not fascinated by it.You thought it was hilarious.You were like from the get-go.You were like, oh, this is just garbage.Yes.
19:51Like pandering garbage.And it was.Lowest common denominator bullshit.Yes.So what's interesting is that we went to the premiere.Yeah, the world premiere.The world premiere.The world premiere.
20:06The world premiere, Jack?You had to correct me on that?I did.This is going to ruin the premiere.Because all the stars were there, T.J. Miller was there.Sir Patrick Stewart was there.You didn't finish my line.This is going to ruin the premiere.
20:22What premiere?The world premiere.Okay.But I got to tell you, I've never been to a movie premiere before.I've never been to a world movie, a movie's world premiere before.It was fun in that it was cool, but it was like full.Charlie Cheese.Yes.
20:40Which like maybe kids' movie premieres are like that.When you say to Chuckie Cheese, can you describe for our listeners like ball pits and like?They had, yeah, it was all kids stuff.Yeah.Yeah.It was like, I'm like literally making this up because I don't remember at this point, but like face painting.I know.I think that was real.
20:59Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.People on stilts.No, it was like the children's fair.Carnival games.Like it was like a, yeah, it was a children's thing.It wasn't like a.It wasn't like red carpet-esque in that way.Not really.
21:13They had something like that for like the actual celebs, but like, yeah, no, it was a carnival.Wasn't Anna Ferris there?She totally was there because they, but Chris Pratt was not.And it was like right before they ended up announcing that they were getting divorced or something.Pretty sure.Because I remember thinking about how thin she was.And her son had these really adorable like glasses.Holy shit.
21:35She's jailbreak.I didn't realize that.She had their son, also named Jack, I'm pretty sure, had these really adorable, like, goggle glasses that were like, really, yeah, yeah, yeah.They were like, really cute.Yeah.But I remember just thinking how thin she was at the time.Maybe I did at the time, but I'm kind of, like, shocked that Ana Ferris was jailbreak, because I love Ana Farris.I think she's amazing.
22:00She's so good in those scary movie movies.She's so good in those.You can't even watch them.They're too scary for you.true but she's really good at themand I really like herokay so you you say you agree that like I definitelydid write the emoji movie one line at a time
22:16yes yeah I did not do that oneher mouth is a gape right nowshe is in shockoh my godladies and gentlemen we got themfuck we got them if you should haveyou haven't got a single one right by the wayokay yeah no good
22:38Also, you made, give me your best shaving tips, but you didn't make write the emoji movie one line at a time.Are you fucking kidding me?You're so bad at your job.You are so bad at your job.I do it now, but it's about eight years too late.It's more relevant than give me your best shaving tips.You know what, just for that, I'm going to make give me your best shaving tips too.Who's it going to be sponsored by?
23:10No, what?Me.My last brain cell.Okay.Here we go.Honey, I are not.What are some new?I hate this game.
23:29Why do you suck?Your content blows dick.Oh my God.Why is it so hard to tell between the shitty ones and the real ones?Aaron, please.Okay.Aaron, please.We have some actual questions to get through here,
23:47including y'i or not,what are some new NBA teams?Why did that person hang up on me?We could have had an actually good episode.You don't give two shits about the quiz.You're all about.We could have had a good episode.Instead, you got denied because someone,
24:07I'm trying to picture like their end,like the person who like called it.Oh my God. Well, if I were calling, well, I thought would be a voicemail.Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And if somebody picked up, I would.That's terrifying, right? Absolutely fucking hang up. That's terrifying.I would totally hang up. Like, oh, ew, no, it doesn't work that way.If they texted me back and said, I want to talk, it's me, I might call back.They didn't do that. No. They didn't do that. And they gave me, they put the FU button on me.
24:32Yeah, they did. They sent me right to voicemail. That sucks.Mm-hmm. If I had answered, I would have been more welcoming.Shut up. But you are so aggressive.How did I answer?Hello?Like it was just so likeYou neverNo
24:47No reallyYou don't have good phone cadenceI have great phone cadenceI don't think you doIShut upWhen you talk on the phoneIt's happening
25:01HelloYou were talking aboutLike how you would punch in the numberI'm likeOkay I'll see how it worksBecause likeI thought originally it was just likeyou tap the number twice, but I'm like, no, that's too large.
25:20And then when I started the total numbers, it called.It's going to be automated.I thought it was going to be automated.And when I heard and when I hear very human air and go, hello?I'm like, she's so human.Okay, wait.I have to say something.Okay, first off, I do just.
25:42No.Wait, hello?No, they hung up.No, they're still here.Somebody else is calling in at the same time.I'm sorry.Okay, so just so who, what, who am I speaking with?Uh, Ellie.
25:53Allie?Yeah.Okay, Allie, just so you know, you've actually called, we are in the middle of recording an episode,or episode that's going to go up on Tuesday right now.Uh-huh.Do you want, and like, this is obviously your free choice.Do you want us to include any of this conversation?Yes.
26:13And we do not need to if you don't want to.Honestly, I think it's kind of funny.You can keep it in.Let's go.LegendYou're a legendSo we took the hotline off of Do Not DisturbAnd we were waiting to see
26:27Who would call in if anybody didLike right?And so you called inAnd that's why I was likeSo excitedYou are firstOh my GodI know
26:37But Jack wasI was just watching the podcastLike really late into the dayBecause it's like 12 a.m. hereAnd then like I'm likeOkay I'll seeI thought it was automated for a swanYeah.
26:52It's like literally waiting for somebody to call in.Honestly, you have no idea.This is like Aaron's priority tonight.Like we're doing,we're doing a quiz right now.She doesn't give two fucks about the quiz.She's staring at her phone,waiting for you to call her back.
27:09I swear to God.And thank God you finally did.Like this is,this is the highlight of her year.It's amazing.I can be the highlight of your year.Thank you, Allie.I appreciate it.
27:22What would, wait.So,Okay, so you figured out how to dial dad hug me 10.Right.Would you say it was easier or harder than what you thought it would be?It is easier because like I was thinking like, oh, you need to press the button twicebecause like some of the numbers, some of the letters weren't like the first one in the numbers.So I was thinking like, oh, you need to put it twice.
27:40So it would be like an age or whatever.And then it was too long.And I'm like, yeah, I thought it was going to be too long.And then I put in just the numbers without putting in numerous times.And then it works, obviously.Got it.Got it.Oh, my God.
27:55Okay.Righteous.Right.Right.Right.What were you calling in about?Can I ask?Yeah, wait.
28:01Well, he, it sounded like he just wanted to figure out the numbers.I'm just curious if the number really worked.I'm just like, okay, how would you put it in?Is it like how I think it is or is it some way different?Totally.I'm like, oh, God, I don't have anything to talk about.Oh, no worries.No worries.
28:18We don't mean to put you on this spot.We were just wondering if you had like a, you know, a reason to call in.But if you're just calling to say hi, that's excellent.All right, Allie, thank you so much.I cannot believe that you called.Thank you so, so much.You just made our night.Yes, you made my fucking life.
28:35One more thing, because like this is, like I have had this, like,I felt like I've needed to tell someone this for like the longest time.I discovered Jack Sims like nine years ago because I didn't have an ad blocker on.And I got like the head and shoulders ad yesterday I asked you one.I know that one.Shut.That's me in the shower, right?Yeah.
28:56I was like, like a nine-year-old me was like, hmm, this looks interesting.And then like I actually click the link.I actually click the link and I go to the video.Wait.God bless head and shoulders, man.I am not kidding.Oh my God.Literally.
29:14Do you know what we are doing a quiz on right now?Yeah.Jack is fucking quizzing me on because I don't watch his stupid videos.Right.He is quizzing me on, is this a real yye?or is it not?And the last,the,
29:28I've gotten them all wrong so far.Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.But one of them,that's still,that's still part,even if you do watch itbecause there's a lot of them.There's so many.
29:36But like,one of them was,give me your,or what are your best shaving tips?And it was like a fucking ad dealthat he did with like,I don't know,dollar shave club or some shit.
29:48He wouldn't,I don't,okay,that does not ring a bell to me.So I think it's fake,but also he wouldn't,do that. Like, he wouldn't make anothermistake like Jack to the future.
30:01Okay, I like you, dude.I like you a lot. Oh,you know your shit. Wait, but so wait,was the head and shoulders thing, a yai?Yes, it was.Is this on, do you think it's on this quiz?Ooh. It could be.It could be.
30:15We're early in the quiz. It could be.I think it was like, I'm going to spoil it.So if you get this one, it's a freebie.No, say it. It was like,what should you do on a first date?It wasn't obviously sponsored.Right.Okay.
30:28It was very sponsored because Jack was in the shower and he was in the head of him.I would have never ever gotten that.Thank you so much for the hit.I also love that you like this is once again like the stars are fucking aligning.What are the odds that Ali is like talking about how he how they found you and like it happened to be a fucking ad.Yeah.That was a yi.And literally like the last question we did was a stupid ad of yours.
30:57It's incredible.The odds are incredible.I think it was like the only ad that ever like actually piqued my interest.And I'm like, wait, this isn't like a normal ad.This is a YouTube video.That's so fucking funny.I am honestly, I'm so thankful for head and shoulders right now.Like, incredible work.
31:14Incredible work.No, thank you so freaking much for for calling in making mine and my wife's night.You know it was just me.Yeah.I'm loving it too.Obsessed with it.Yes.We finally got her first caller.
31:28and they're awesome.So thank you.Our first live caller.I usually have it on Do Not Disturb.But I finally answered, yeah.Yes.Yeah.But we will let you go.
31:40Thank you, Allie, for calling.Of course.It was actually nice.I don't regret this.That's the best response we could have gotten.Thank you for listening as well.And also, like, tune in to Tuesday's episode.and like you're going to be featured prominently just so you know.
32:02Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.Thank you so much.Your check's coming.Yes.All right.Thanks so much, All right.I get my paycheck.Yeah.
32:12All right.We'll talk to you later.See ya.Thank you.Bye.Oh, my God.Are you on cloud nine or cloud 10 right now?I am.
32:19And by the way, somebody else called literally one minute after Ali called back.Yeah.That was really funny.That was so fun.That was so fun, wasn't it?That was really fun.Almost as fun as this guy or not quiz.Aaron, what are some new NBA teams?
32:37Wait, for real though.What if we did it?So like another episode in the future, we just like sit and talk and wait.I would do that.That would be fun.Of course I would do that.Wouldn't that be fun?Of course I would do that.
32:47Are you kidding?Yeah.Okay, keep going.Did I do this though?Did I do?What are some new NBA teams?Yeah, probably because you're boring and you don't even know what sports are.Really?
32:56That's very specific.You think I did new NBA teams.Yeah, maybe they like made an ice cream that you got sponsored by and that, you know,you had to, you had to do it.But yeah.I did do it.You're correct.Why did you do it?
33:10Do you remember?Yeah, I do.Also, love that you did NBA and not WNBA.You fucking ass.Can I just say?So I looked this eye up because I was morbidly curious.When you're wearing a tank top, I hate it.Yeah, you hate when I wear a tank top.
33:25They're so gross.That'll come later.I'll come into play later.Anyways, this was from, this was Yai number 206, back when I numbered them.November 4th of 2015, it was sponsored by Fan Duel.And I apologize, listeners.I would not take or do another sponsor like that, you know, now.Straight up.
33:47Why not?We gambling, I view gambling the same way I view alcohol, the same way I view tobacco,the same way of you, cannabis.Like, what is, it is up to the user.discretion. And this is in my opinion, my opinion, it is in my opinion up to the user's discretionas to whether they want to be like sold that kind of product. That's totally fair. What is like,again, it's not crypto. It's gambling, which is very clear that it's gambling. Let's go gambling.Crypto, they try to tell you, oh, this is an investment you're going to make a return on. It's like,
34:24no, no, no, no, this is gambling. This is, you could lose money.That's like literally in the definition.It's a little, I don't know.I think it's frowned upon in this day and age.Why?It feels, I can't articulate why, but I will say like now it feels icky.Like, why?I did it then.
34:42I was so hungry.Hungry for money?Hungry for, yes, money.No, hungry for like.Exposure?Yes.And sponsors were just such a way of like, oh, I made it, you know?So, okay.
34:56I'm back in 2015.Like that meant something.Oh, is that what it was?10 years ago?Yeah, yeah, yeah.Okay.So you're still wearing tank tops 10 years later.Correct.
35:05Disgusting.Okay.Just want to make that clear.Okay.But that's why I did a Yai called, is this, whatever it was, new NBA teams.Yes.All righty.Let's move on.
35:16I only have about 30 more of these left.Okay.This is your dream.Isn't this your favorite quiz, Erin?Can we call Allie back?I just want to talk to Allie somewhere.Aaron, did I do this one?What does Yai stand for?
35:33Did I ever do an acronym on Yai itself in my hundreds and hundreds of Yai episodes?Yes, you did.You think I did?I did.I did.I did.I do.I do.
35:41I do.I do.I mean, I do.I do.You're into a yuppie.You're intelligent and yearning.Yai isn't a yearning.That was annoyingly good.
35:58You're correct, I did do that one, yes, absolutely.And there's a little note from the creators of this quiz.It stands for, yeah.Wait, you just said the opposite.You said, you're correct.Wait, what?You said I did do that one, but that says fake.But I definitely did this, though.
36:16Really?Uh-oh.Hold on.Wait, did I never, oh, no, it's happened.Uh-oh.Wait, what?Have I never done what does, that's not true.That's not true.
36:27I've totally done what does the eye stand for?Oh my god, I can't find it.This is Mandela.He's always fucking with us.This is like that black mirror episode.What the fuck?Where I change the truth to fuck with you.And I change everybody else's truth to fuck with you.
36:42Okay, I'm, I am shocked, Aaron.Okay, so apparently it is fake.Apparently, I've never done a Yai asking viewers, what does Yai stand for?Did you get that one right?Is that what you said?I said that you did do that.Oh.So you and I are on the same page, but the,
36:58quiz is not i sorry i'm like holding my i i have a hand on my head right now i'm like i'm i'myou don't need to describe what you look like nobody wants to know what you look like i'm wearing blacksocks and red shorts and i'm just so lonely tank top so lonely and both your nipples areshowing because the tank top is too loose it's disgusting erin please don't turn on our listeners okaythe chest hair so much chest hair there's so much chest hair all over the couch cushion i reallyI'm Robin Williams when it comes to like, you know how like as like your hair falls out?Like it's like that, but it's with Jack's chest hair. It's disgusting.This is, sorry, this is bother. I will move on for the sake of the quiz, but this is bothering me.
37:40I feel like I've done what does the guy stand for it? If I haven't, 700 episodes later, I think I should.I told you. I told you this moment would happen and it's happened. Also, I feel like the numberkeeps going up. Like you're like, oh, it's like 600. Oh, no, it's like 700. I definitely said700. Now it's 800. Honey, I have one last question.for you. Okay. All right. Right.No, I'm not ready. Okay.Did I do this, Yai? How do you sleepat night? Have I ever done that Yai?
38:06How do you sleep at night?No, I can't imagine any funny answers from that.Wait, actually, yes, becauseyou've had two matcher sponsorships.And that is the only waythat, that is the only way that you've done that.So yes.You're correct.
38:28Oh my God11 years agoWhat did we get for thatBecause we did not get our first mattress11 years agoYeah that was aWhat was a purple brand?Was it no
38:43That was LisaAnd that was eight years agoBecause it was right when we first moved in the yearOkayLet me look up how do you sleep at night?YeahMaybe that will come upNo nine years ago Lisa was
38:55I'm glad you rememberbecause the years kind of just mesh and melt together.It is paid promotion, so someone sponsored it.How do you sleep at night?Yeah, number 130.Maybe they were like melatonin gummies or something or like.No, it's Lisa.Oh, really?
39:10Yeah, July of 2015.It's a Lisa sponsor.Get $75 off your new mattress at Lisa.com slash jack.We slept on a Lisa mattress for close to 10 years, almost 10 years.Jesus.And we just got a new one.And I feel like, guys, our Lisa mattress held up the entirety of the time.It just, we just got a new mattress.
39:33And so we got a new mattress.We got another mattress sponsorship.Thanks to Helix.Yeah.And honestly, that mattress rocks.Yeah, Helix rules.So, like, like, Lisa was great.We used it for between, we got it right when we moved in to our place in November, 2016.
39:54Yes.And we stopped using it in July of 2025.So literally like nine years almost.And guys, it like never deteriorated.Oh, no.It did us.It did as well.The whole time it was the same.
40:13It was, yeah, we used it the whole time.And I feel like that's a pretty good value.It is.But this helix one's pretty fucking good.Yeah, the helix one is really nice too.So like, bye Lisa.It was nice.having you but also by filisa yeah but also like um my new husband phelix is here and
40:33and he is comfy and he is cozy he's just so cathartic all righty i fucking hate you wait i'm hearing thisnoise reverberating throughout our home oh i think that was like you farting no it was thatbut it's mixed in with something else.Oh, wetness, you sharded.Why are women so gross?They go straight to that.No, Aaron.Wait, women are what?
41:03Disgusting.Beautiful.No.God's gift to earth.No, no, no, no.No, honey, it's time for our first...Is it our first Virgo?Somebody's calling.
41:14Somebody else is calling.Fuck, answer it.Answer it.Really?Yeah, sure.Hello?Damn it!Godmit!
41:25Why does everybody always hang up on me?Because you're not expecting anyone to answer.You literally described it perfectly.You would hang up if you called in.I know, I know.I'm calling them back.Aaron, for fuck's sake.I just want to, I just, I'm calling them back.
41:42I'm calling them back.You have a problem.You have a problem.I do.I'm married to you.It's my problem.Should I leave a voicemail?Sure.
41:55Okay.Better be good.You're calling.All has been forwarded to voicemail.The person you're trying to reach is not available.I just chime into.Hi.Hello.
42:06It's me, Aaron, and...Jack, the funny one.And we are actually recording a podcast episode right now.We are actually recording a podcast episode right now.Sorry, I had to move the mic towards my face.Very important.And you...You're upsetting Kloni.
42:23No, caller, you are upsetting Kloniq right now.We turned...Our hotlineThe Do Not Disturb offbecause I wanted to answercalls that came in livebut I answered and you hung upso if you could call us back
42:39Why did you hang up?I would much appreciate that.We just want to chat.If you could just give me a call backat Dad Hug Me 10that's D-A-D-H-U-G-M-E-10I'd much appreciate itat your earliest convenience.
42:53Thanks so much.We just want to talk like adults.That's all.Bye.Let's go.Oh, this is fun.Is it it?Is it out?
43:04See?It's kind of unlocked a whole new level.You were so toxic to me.You were like,nah.Meow, me, me, me, me, me, me.I was never, no.This unlocks like a whole new echelon of Aaron is the funny one, though.
43:14If we have, like, live collars come in.Is that fun?It turns into like a Tom Green kind of live show, which I love.Like, that's brilliant.Anyways, Aaron, segue, horoscope, Vigo season.Is this our first Virgo season one?It is, Jack.Oh, well, then we better.
43:28or make it good. Honey. Do you like Virgo's Jack? They're one of my favorite zodiac signs.What are some of your other favorites? Beetlechuse, the Milky Way, Jupiter. I like them all,but honey, I'm not picky. It's not about that. It's all about this horoscope. Honey,there's something that I really want to get off my chest, but I need your help. Okay. I have a fewquestions for you before we can give this week's Virgo horoscope. Can you help me out? Yes.Right. Give me an adjective describing the last food you ate.Noodly.Good. Give me a genre of a TV show.
44:08What would you call the dead mom show?Wait, is dead mom? Dead mom. Is that a genre?Yes.Yeah. Because they all have a dead mom. Like everybody has a dead.That's perfect. No, right? The dead mom works actually very well.Full house. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Movies too, they love their dead moms.But, okay.Bambi.
44:30They define the dead mom genre.Give me a feeling as a noun, you know, like.Cartharsis.Oh, I love you for that.Give me another one, because I need two.Oh, okay.Yeah.Joy?
44:42Sure.Out of curiosity, what is your favorite planet or other celestial body, star, galaxy, planet?The one that I would go to if I died in Scientology.I think there's also one in Mormonism too.Like you get your own planet.I want that one.I want that one.No,
45:08I've already written,no,Scientology is the better answer.We're making an executive decision here.Okay.Okay.Give me the last city you visited.Napa,
45:17California,or San Francisco,because I did fly out of that airport.Or conquered Californiabecause I flew into that airport.I like San Francisco,because I,I can spell it.
45:26Okay.You're so dumb.I am.You know Napa's only four words and three letters, but you can spell San Francisco, so that's good.Napa's four words?Four, no, four letters, three of the same, three of the same letter.Shut up.Fuck you.
45:43Aaron, Aaron, give me an adverb, any adverb.That's an L-Y word.Yeah, any L-Y word.Is that what an adverb is?Thanks.Hates me right now.Fastidiously.Do you know how to spell that?
45:57I do, thanks to iPhones.Give me a federal holiday.Don't think too hard.Just spit out a federal holiday.Black Friday.That's good.That's very good.Also, would we call that a federal holiday?
46:14I'm pretty sure it is, actually.I mean, like, I think things are closed on Black Friday.Wait, Aaron.No, no, put your phone down.Don't actually check.It's fine.Oh, Black Friday's not a federal holiday.Cool. Thanks for checking.
46:26Whatever. Fuck it.Give me an adjective describing the video game that you love grounded.An adjective you would describe that game you love.This is going to be a really good horoscope.Exilarating and colorful.Nope.You get one.Favorite actor or actress.
46:44I can only pick one.Yes.And just one that you like.Yeah.I have a feeling.I love him.How do you spell that?Don.
46:51D-O-M-H.H-N-H-N-A-L, pretty sure.Two L's?Yes.Glees and G-L-E-E-S-O-N.Gotcha.Thank you.Wait, G-L-E-E?
47:03Yes.Okay.It auto-corrected it annoyingly.Yeah, they can mind their own business.They can mind their own fucking business, right?Relax, Tim Apple.Aaron, what's a body part that gives you pain?All of them.
47:14Like me particularly, or like in general?Either, actually.Your appendix.tics appendix yes doesn't hurt until it does that's true i know the answer to this what's somethingyou hate to see me wear tank tops also socks with sandals he came home with these fucking hideous sandalsfrom the beach they're not hideous they're really cool actually and they're really good for thebackyard when i take the dogs out he tried to he he broke his other sandals he tried to duct tape themback together i did i love those flip flops because
47:51you got me those. Because he knows that he's hard up. He needs more of thosefan duel partnerships. And he knows, we keep separate bank accounts. So he knows he's not gettingany of my girl boss money. So this podcast is sponsored by gambling. Yeah. Aaron,uh, give me an actor or actress you hate. I hate because of for what reason? You hate.No, no broader. Just knee jerk. What's someone in Hollywood actor, actress that you hate? Don't give me a reasonwhy you hate them, just someone you don't like. Doesn't have to make sense. I won't even ask why.Our listeners might, but, you know, forgive them. Sarah Jessica Parker. Why? Okay. Give me a verb, any verb.Present tense? Uh, yes. Spring. Perfect. What's a body part that you love? Yeah. Your own, someone else's,
48:41just a body part that you love. I enjoy having ears. Yeah, that's good. They're kind of fun.I get to hear. No hate on those that can hear. That can't hear.They're underrated the ears.I like ears.I also like eyes.Eyes are cool.No, we're going with ears.Aaron, what's an actor or actress you can't believe is famous?
49:01Why them?Austin Butler.Oh, that was quick.Let's go.Aaron, what's an animal you would like?What's an animal you would like as a pet?Oh, there's so many.You can only pick one.
49:13That's why I asked you this because I know you'd have trouble.Every time there's a TikTok of a cute animal, she asks, can we get one?when we already have three of the world's loudest dogs.An otter.Yes.That's good.Aaron, in general, not yours, but in general.What is a body part you don't find attractive that many people seem to find attractive?
49:36The penis.Perfect.That's actually really, that's probably the best answer you could have given.Finally, give me any movie quote, anything.Classic, not classic, any movie quote.That's okay.I'm a workaholic.And Aaron,
49:56explain to the listenerswhat that moviequotes frombecause they shirt.It's a,I don't want to spoilthe movie for you guys.They're not going to watch
50:04the fucking mistletones.But once again,I know I talked about thisin a Jack video,but I love the missile tones.I'm obsessed with the missile tones.What is the mistletones?It's a musical,
50:16it's like a...Made for television Christmas movie,Aaron.starring Tia Mowrie.Burry.the lead. And a bunch of other amazing actors. And it's a musical with some new songs, some old.And actually, no, they're all old, aren't they?Sorry, we're going through. With a bunch of classic Christmas songs. And it is such a wonderful
50:42tale. I actually first saw it when Jack went to the gym without me, because I just didn't feellike it, like 10 years ago. And I ended up, like, crying on the sofa. Oh, my God, that is.It's right. I forgot about that. It was like a Saturday, right? Yes. Yeah. It was, I just was like, I don't want to work out. He ended up going the gym. I watched this movie. This was like 2014, like, 20. Yeah, it was 20, 2014. Holy shit. Yeah. Because we had like just finished our like P90 thing. Uh-huh. And I ended up like crying. But we still had a tradition to like go to the gym on Saturdays. Oh my God. And I just didn't feel like it because I'm a girl boss. And I ended up crying on the sofa by myself watching this beautiful, wonderful, wonderful.romantic storythat also threw insome wonderful renditionsof classic Christmas songs.Wonderful renditions.
51:31They are!And that is one of the endinglines tothe mistletones is,that's okay, I'm a workaholic.Look it up. Honestly, it is aChristmas tradition here in the Brugless household.Every Christmas, we
51:47don't celebrate Christmas until we watchthe Missletones. It was, I'mSorry, do you already say ABC family originally?It was like, we said like, yeah, it's like free form, ABC family, fucks, I don't.So not Lifetime, not Hallmark, but yes.The other one.If you guys look up Missile Tones, please come home.I think it is part of that video on YouTube.
52:08On YouTube.Okay, Virgo's, are you all ready?Ooh, we're ready.We're fully baked.We're fully baked.All right.Take it away, Horoscope Reader.Virgo.
52:19Miriam Webster defines horoscope as a nudely dead momthat influences one's catharsis and joybased on the distance between the planet you go to when you die in Scientologyand San Francisco.And Virgos, I can fastidiously sayyour next Black Friday will be as exhilaratingas Donal Gleason's appendix.No kidding.
52:53Which is exhilarating.To you it is.So don your finest tank top.Blast your favorite Sarah Jessica Parker album, which is funny because I think she was a singer at one point.No, she wasn't.I think so.She was like she played Annie on Broadway.Broadway?
53:12When she was a little kid.Oh, I didn't know that.And spring your fears ear on this.week, I'll remind you of the classicAustin Butler quote.What is it? That still gives meotter bumps all the way up my penis.Yeah. That's okay.
53:33I'm a workaholic.Tata.Yay.Happy Horoscope Virgos.I fucking, guys, Austin Butler,he will never do it for me.He will never, I don't get it.never get it. I just, they, like, I saw on Reddit or TikTok or something, like a video of him,
53:56like working out as if I'm supposed to like, cool. Be into it. And I'm like, oh, honey, no.It just ain't there. Like, great. You're good at working out. Cool. Love it.Good at working out. That's a very funny way to put it. Love that for you. Don't care to see it.I just, not for me. Well, he'll be on the show next week. And listen.Thank you so much for tuning in to yet another episode of Aaron is the funny one.As always, you can call her texting at her hotline dad, hug me 10.Also, we have a jumbo ad-free version of this episode over on our Patreon at patreon.comslash jack's films.
54:37And just so that you guys know, we do record pretty at sporadic times throughout the weekand throughout the day.So when you call in, I mean, I guess you should.or should or don't be prepared because you could always just hang up on us when we do answer.But sometimes I get a little chaotic good and I just want to talk to y'all.So anyway, call whenever you want.Sometimes we're going to answer and sometimes we're not.Chances are like one in a million we're not going to answer.
55:09So please feel free to call in and leave a message or text me.Please.I will most likely respond to your text more than I will answer your call.But please keep sending me all of those falcon pictures.If anybody's got a penguin, I love it.I don't know if you guys know this,but I've been talking to two different zoologists that listen to our podcast.Oh, I did not know that.
55:34Zoologist.Holy shit, Aaron.Do you know why I'm so obsessed with Career Day?It's because we've got zoologists on deck.Your regular, what, Jack Hanna?That's fucking awesome.I would prefer we go Australian.Fair.
55:47Okay.We can do, we can go that.route. What's his name, Jack? Something Irwin. Steve. Well, no, Steve Irwin. No, who's his son?Oh. Wow, Aaron. You even like him. Robert. Okay, you got there. Yeah. Anyway. Until next time,haters. Bye guys.
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