Erin is the Funny One - Erins Adhd Is Out Of Control

Episode Date: January 11, 2026

Oh boy. This one goes off the rails from the get-go and STAYS off the rails. Rats, squirrels, A Bug’s Life, Karen Read, Bieber, pigeons - there’s not much Erin doesn’t talk about. Follow Erin and Jack on Instagram:⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/2toesup/?hl=en⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/jacksfilms/?hl=en⁠⁠⁠ To watch Erin Is The Funny One on YouTube: ⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/@jackisanerd⁠⁠⁠ Don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast for free wherever you're listening or by using this link: ⁠⁠⁠https://bit.ly/erinisthefunnyone Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Welcome aboard via rail. Please sit and enjoy. Please sit and stretch. Steep. Flip. Or that. And enjoy. Via rail, love the way.

Hi, welcome back to Aaron. Is the funny one? I'm one of the hosts, Jack. And with me, the funny one. Yay. It me. How you doing, honey? I'm doing great.

Yeah? Yeah. I had a great day, I think, sort of. It wasn't a bad day. That's good. Couldn't tell you much about what happened. I talked to some old friends. I talked to some new friends.

Did a little work. Did a little not work. Yeah. We're doing well. Do you mind if I say that you did tell me before we started recording that you're a little buzzed? Oh, I am. Yeah. Okay.

You fed me a few glasses of wine beforehand. Well, it's podcast prep. And then I just watched a TikTok that made me cry laugh. Yeah, it's been a while since you've seen one of those. It was, oh. Every once in a while, listeners, Aaron will get a case of the giggles, and she is unable to stop for hours. Like literally hours where.

And tonight is one such night. Well, no, I would say no. This isn't one of those nights where I can't stop uncontrollably laughing. But it was a TikTok that I was crying laughing. It was, and you know what's funny is that most TikToks don't actually make me cry laugh. No, they never do. It's the comment section. Oh, that's true.

Honestly, the comments will save a TikTok. The comments make me roar with laughter. Well, before we even get there, and I do want to get there. Oh, we, okay. I kind of want to bring back a segment that we've sort of omitted more or less. It's wine of the week. We just kind of forgot. Yeah.

Guys, here's like fun fact about me. I know we talked a little bit about Lexi Pro and like the invisible wall. But fun fact about Lexa Pro is that it's actually. also like because it's reduced my anxiety quite a bit there is it makes my forgetfulness factor like much worse okay because you don't have that underlying stress that like keeps you on edge anyway so we have quite honestly kind of forgotten about why like we're like and we've been like scheduling in when so we're surrounded by dogs right now that

can't stop moving can't stop itching barking growling spitting shitting farting um it has just quite fuck it forget it whatever I send jack out I was like I need you go pick up my Lexie pro for me from the pharmacy while you're out go get yourself a wine of the week because we had forgotten it. And I told Jack, Jack was like, what should I do? And I said, the world is your oyster. Make it like whatever you want. Here's, make it in the $25 range. She said get whatever you

wanted. So Jack film just showed me this wine. I said, oh, we're in a self-serving mood. I see. Because it's a saveno en blanc and she, maybe it's not your favorite. But like, what would you have preferred? A chardonn-a? Always. Well, I don't know if they had me. Always in forever. Wait, where did you go? Tell me about this random. and I'm like our story you ventured to. Yeah, it was a place I've never been to in my life. Like, it was just on the corner somewhere. We are also, we are carless at the moment in Los Angeles, which.

Not a good spot to be carless. I have a car, but it has not been in driving condition since October. And it is now summer, 2025. I have not had a car since October of 2024. It's a very nice, expensive paperweight. I like to say. That's right. That's right. But I'm also pretty sure I haven't opened the car doors since October because I'm afraid that I'm going to walk in on like a bunch of rat families making love. And my poor innocent eyes are just not ready for that.

And then Jack's car is also in the shop for sort of a different reason. They said it was wear and tear, but then the guy literally followed up with, oh, and by the way, did you know you have rats living in your car? Nesting. Nesting was the term. Yeah. You have rats nesting in your car, which is so much worse. And it's just like...

Like, don't use the correct lingo with me. Like, don't tell me rats are nesting in my car. That just makes it anyways. So we're both carless. So by the way, I'm pretty sure that it was not regular wear and tear because this happened a few years ago. But I think that when he only mentioned it was normal. wear and tear when we said, is this something insurance can cover? I think that was his like, no, no, it's normal.

It's totally normal wear and tear. His cover? I think so. Gotcha. Because if it were damage caused by rodents, it should be covered under our policies. I would know because I have had many times where they've had to literally $15,000 and then over $20,000 worth of damage to my car twice since 2021. And now again, but I just, honestly, I'm at, I'm at my woods end that I'm like, I don't even know if I want this car.

I think I'm, so right now I'm hosting a rat habitat in my very nice 2019 car that has probably less than 20,000 miles on it. Very cool, very cool. Anyway, did I mention I got a buzz on it? So, jackets in a liquor store. The buzz coupled with the ADHD means this is going to be a five-hour. long podcast episode. Maybe, maybe not. Because I am leaving our house. I board my flight at LAX at 6 a.m. tomorrow. Yeah. So. All-nighter. Let's go. No. I don't have it in me. Well, back to wine of the week. Yes. So I picked a random Savignon Blanc from this hidden little liquor shop, liquor store. Did they have hard alcohol, wine and beer? Yes. They had all three. Okay.

What drew you to this? The label? Because it's not a terrible looking label. So this is... So you're in a whimsical mood. I was trying to. It looks fairy-esque. It's em-o-yes, em-o-lo.

E-M-M-O-L-O. We did just watch Ever After. This feels reminiscent of Ever After, the movie, starring Drew Barrymore. Sorry. What? It does. Someone who just. saw ever after.

This reminds me of ever after. Aaron's been playing this. As you listeners know, she's been playing this fucking bug game called Grounded. So literally every five things is like, this reminds me of grounded. Okay, first off, we try to watch a bug's life to go to sleep together.

Oh my God, we try watching a Bug's Life. And I was like, I can't. This reminds me of Grounded. But for real, it is, it is the same exact thing. Like, whoever made a bug's life stole the code.

to a bug's life and made grounded. Try that again. You just said, whoever made a bug's life stole the code from a bug's life and made grounded. Whoever made grounded. Whoever made grounded.

Right. Stole the code from a bug's life. I just don't know why you confusing those listeners. Yeah, okay. And made grounded. It's stolen property.

I mean, I'm not a hater because like it's... Allegedly. Oh, you stole from Disney? We're good, bro. But also like, I mean, it's the same thing. It was very funny.

And I'm quite enjoying Grum. I love bug game. I think we got 45 seconds into a bug's life, a movie that I don't think I'd seen in like 20 plus years. And she's like, oh my God, this is just like crowd. Okay, well, it doesn't help that I've never seen a bug's life. And we couldn't watch it. It is. Well, because I knew I was like, this is going to keep me up because I'm just going to keep looking for similarities between the two.

It's just such a dumb reason to not watch a movie. because it very closely resembles a video game you happen to play. You know what's a dumb reason to not watch a movie? Oh, she's pissed. What? You know what's a dumb reason to not watch a movie? Uh-oh. What's that, Aaron?

Oh, it's... Noise is too big and loud. How dare you trivialize my crippling aversion to spooky scary, jump scary movies? I was just being vulnerable and honest with you by sharing. I actually don't think this is the appropriate movie for us to watch while trying to relax, wind down, and potentially induce sleep. Because to be perfectly frank, I am feeling distracted by the similarities to a video game that I am quite entertained by and enjoying. And I know that this is not the right content for me to be watching right now. And you weaponized that against me.

I was vulnerable and honest. And you weaponized it. What in the therapist speak? Oh, my goodness. Well, honey. Peace offering. Forgive me. So we're drinking the Ever After.

Yes. Emolo, 2023, Sauvignon Blanc. What's interesting is that it's bottled by Amola winery, Fairfield, California. Where's Fairfield, Jack? Ah, that's a little ways from here. Okay. So it does look as though they purchase the grapes.

It's not a vineyard. They purchase the grapes from a number of different counties. Solano County makes up 61% of the grapes. Lake County makes up 23% and Napa County is 16%. I have a feeling the Napa grapes are probably the most expensive, which is why they make it the least. Right. But what do I know? What notes are you getting from it?

I don't know. I haven't even touched it yet. So I'm smelling it right now. 12.5% alcohol. There is a cute little like story time on the back if you're into that kind of thing. I usually am, but I'll spare thee. Yeah, if you're watching via YouTube, I'll try to include a picture of the back if you want to read along. What does it smell like to you, honey? Smells like Sauvignon Blanc.

Well, cheers. Smells like dish cleaner. Oh my God. It does not smell like dish cleaner. Okay. Happy wine of the week. Just kidding. I'm all we love you.

I think what I'm smelling is actually the glass that you put it in. Ooh. It's fine. It's very light. I kind of like that. I don't taste much of much. Very fresh, very bright. It's, yeah, it's...

Very light flavor. Very light, very sweet. Not on the front, not on the back, or both sides. It is not dry. It's not wit. Jesus. So mid, mid is where you're gravitating

towards this particular wine of the week. I think it's a very digestible, pleasant, all audiences, pleasing wine. Wine of the week, if you will. Yeah,

I don't mind it. But then again, my palette is favored a bit more towards Sami and Blongs than yours. Out of five wines of the weeks, we need a rating system.

Two and a half. Two and a half for you? I say at least three and a half. For me. There's not enough flavor going on for me to care one way or the other. I don't like the smell of it. And the smell could be the glasses. I just didn't properly clean out.

That's very true. But I mean, I don't know. It's a clean glass. But I don't know what I'm smelling. I don't like what I'm smelling, but I don't know what I'm smelling. All right. So two and a half from you. Three and a half from me.

Three and a half. Yeah. Really? Yeah, because it's because it's light. Because it's refreshing. This is a good summer line. It's easy. If it were colder too, I think it would be even more like water.

It's a little dangerous in that way. Oh, do you mean that in a good or bad way? It'd be more like water. It depends on what you're looking for. Fair, fair, okay. Do I want to drink wine that tastes like water? No. But does somebody who might not like wine that's forced to drink it?

Potentially. Yeah, if you're a listener that doesn't particularly care for wine or isn't terribly experienced with wine, I think this would be a good, like, I don't know, warm up or intro kind of. because it's so inoffensive, so light, it's barely there. You don't even notice it. Okay, we're done with wine of the week. Wow.

Okay. Mostly because I'm pissed off that you picked something that you knew it'd be self-serving. It was a selfish move. What should I get next time? I'm going to say you should get whatever you want. Oh my God. Doesn't fucking help.

Cool. You know what'll be next time? It'll be another Sauvignon blog. All right. We're starting off. We're both mad at it. other with this episode. We're starting off on a real good note.

So I do. Wait, what are you mad at me for? I'm always mad at you. That's my secret. No, I didn't do anything. I'm mad at you for you being mad at me for following instructions. I'm a fucking ray of sunshine, okay? I'm a goddamn ray of sunshine.

I am a joy to be around. Look what you did. Look what you did. You upset the kids. So, honey, since we last announced it. Our hotline, the Dad Hug Me 10 hotline, has been busy. Never heard of it. Tell me about it. Okay. What is the Dad Hug Me 10 hotline? Well, I'll tell you, honey, the Dad Hug Me 10 hot line, that's a number, Dad Hug Me 10 that you listeners can call at any point, any time,

and you can leave a message just saying hi, talking about your life problems, giving your hot takes and our hot takes, whatever. And heck, if you don't feel like calling in, you can actually text, too. can just leave a text anonymous or whatever. And I want to start off with, but I want to start off with a very special message from a very special someone. Okay. I think we have our first celebrity hotline caller. Celebrity? Yes. Check this out. Please give it up for our first celebrity caller. Hello. This is Ed Sheeran. You're extremely cool and hilarious editor called me and told me to tune into your podcast and heard you say you think I'm bolding. I don't much appreciate your words, my hair is fine, thank you.

Anyways, don't listen to Celestial by Ed Sheeran. Also, I am Ed Shearing. Have a nice night. Love the podcast. Oh, thank you so much. Good friend of ours and the podcast, Ed Sheareran. Yeah, right? You did say that.

I knew it. And, hey. Do you think Ed Shearin and Mariah Carey have ever met? They had to have. You think so? I'm sure at some point. Their paths must have crossed, right? She's thinking.

The gears are turning. You think I'm balden. Did I say that? I feel like you said that. I don't. No, you definitely said that. I would never say like, oh, Ed Sherrod. Do you mean that bald and fuck?

No, that was totally you. Absolutely you. And listeners back me up. Guys, I don't even know that I actually think that. You just get feisty when you drink your wine. Speaking of, we have to talk about the Karen Reed trial. Oh, my God. But there was a witness in the trial weeks ago that had a fault.

She like testified or gave her testimony, whatever you call that to the FBI. And then kind of recanted it and said, nope, I take it back. It was based on a false memory. And so I am going to be using that quite a bit of like, I don't think I said that about Ed Shearan. I think that was a false memory that you guys have. That's a really convenient excuse. Next time I get in trouble.

That's not no. You guys have a false memory. I never said that. Or if I did say that, wow, I must have been under the influence because I would have never said that under normal circumstances, guys. Well, Ed, thanks for calling in. It's always good to hear from an old friend, an old pal. And we will be listening to what was it fucking called?

know where to go. Celestial. One of your better songs. I actually have no idea. Can you name more than three Ed Shearren songs? He had. Division. Divide, divide, divide, divide. Wait, or was that the album? I think that's the album. No. Okay, the perfect. The perfect song. Oh, he did the song with Taylor Swift. Which one? I think it did something bad. No, I don't know. I don't know. Wait, hold on. No, no, no, let me take it back. Hold on. He did the one. Oh, the one. Um, um, um, um, um, everything has changed. Oh, that was him. But he was also on the reputation album in a song. Okay. But wait, hold on.

Let me think about this. He's in the a Boppity Boopop song that he just is recently come up with. Remember? Remember we were listening to it in the car? Oh, it was awful, right? Yeah, Abercadabra. Boopi. No, that's Gaga.

Ascaban. It was pretty bad. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, it was like some gibberish. Yeah. Is that the move just like saying random shit now? I mean, it worked for poop-a-scoop. right?

You pull that out so fast. You were like, that was in the chamber ready to go. I, this is like weird fact about me. I think about poop-a-scoop more. Wait, what? More than I'd like to admit. I had no idea, Erin. Yeah, it's a, it's a, it's a passing thought.

What the fuck? It comes, it, it passes my brain like, oh my God. At least once a week probably. I'm getting a terrifying insight into your mind and how it works. It's just more so. I thought I had you cracked or figured out and I really don't. Well, just because I don't say it out loud doesn't mean I'm not thinking about it. The 24-7.

Poop-ty-soup-to-scoop. It's usually when I think about how we have been like, I don't know, like gaslit by celebrities where I think to myself, when they tell us something, do they actually think, do they believe themselves? I don't know. That's a good question. So like, did they actually think Pupity Scoop was like a good song? I mean, Kanye, absolutely. He probably thought it was like God's gift to mortals for sure. Didn't Bieber have a song too that was like, oh, so fucking stupid?

Yeah, what did he have? I feel like I'm on the same wavelength. Hold on. Yummy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Whatever. Like it's so bad.

Oh, my God. Girl, you got that yummy yum. Yeah, like. Fowl. Just foul. And so I just... He should go on another apology tour for that song. Wait, I didn't know he ever went on an apology tour.

Sure did. When? Yeah, he went on like years ago. For what? For what? For what? Like, 2017, 18, something like that. For what?

Just being a little rascal. I don't know. I actually don't remember, but he went on and he kind of went on, not kind of. He went on, I think it was fucking called the apology tour. His? Oh, really? Yes. His?

That must have been tongue in cheek. Sure. And I say that because. the footage of his deposition is something that lived. I also think about quite often. And if you are in my inner circle and we often quote him from his deposition, I don't recall. Australia?

Australia. Right, right, right. Never heard of it. Right. Doesn't ring a bell. Like, where he is just full on. Yeah. Deny, deny.

I can't recall. Yeah. I don't recall. I don't recall. Like over and over and over again. It's really funny. So next time I'm in trouble. So it's, I don't recall.

What was the other one? Yummy, me, me, man. No, not fucking yummy. Just like, oh, I, no, no, no, no. Like, I did not say that. Or like I, we were just talking about this like 10, 15 minutes ago. It was, um, it was so embarrassing. I have to consult my lawyer while you pull out a Ouija board.

That's that funny TikTok that we still haven't properly referenced yet. But we will. We'll get there. We'll get there. Sure, maybe. Maybe. What the fuck was it? Wait, wait, hold on.

It was like, next time I get in trouble, just to be like, I didn't say that. Oh, I had a false memory. I had a false memory. Wow. Yeah. Could not remember I had a false memory. Well, that's because you had a false memory. Yeah, exactly.

Right, yeah. And if I did say it, okay. Never mind. You were under the influence. I was going to say it was because it was funny. Okay. Honey. We have another.

Celebrity? We have a, not a celebrity, but they could, maybe a celebrity in the making. We'll see. Okay. This is from an. Austin. I believe in them becoming a celebrity. Wait, what in the, why Book of Mormon?

Because I believe. Okay, okay, okay, okay. And then becoming a celebrity. Right, sure. Fuck it. And I believe. Book of Mormon does not need any more press, okay? Are you jealous of the Book of Mormon?

Yeah. Doye. Are you not? No, I mean, I, I know. All right, this is from Austin. Hi, there you go. I thought I was having a stroke.

And I was so terrified. So I hope you guys have fun of that information. Have a great day. Bye-bye. Austin. No, Austin. No, Austin.

When Aaron speaks op, when she speaks an op, I cringe inside of myself. Do you? No, not really. But like, That's not nice. That's not nice. Why would you say that?

trying to think of a better punchline that's why and I couldn't get there be honest then what do you think when I speak up I'm trying and failing to figure out what you're saying oh that's it yeah that's all you're not impressed by my language schizels no I impressed isn't the right feeling it's just it's more no it's a frustration you're intimidated also not the right word how big my brain is no no not at all um it's just trying so hard to like fuck What is she saying? And I'm always like five words behind. Oh, it's like a puzzle.

Yeah. That you're trying to figure out. And I'm always a little behind. Yeah. Which is funny because you're actually quick. Jack, okay, so when we play trivia murder party,

which we need to bring that back. Yeah, we haven't played in a while. Yeah, we do. But anyway, when we play trivia murder party, there's like one of the sub games in it is this like around the world-esque type of game

where it's like you have to figure out very simple math equations. Yeah. As quickly as you can. Rapid fire, spitfire, Spitfire math. Seven minus 11. Right. Four plus eight.

Yeah. Just very quick like at subtraction addition. Yes. But like I am just not that fast. Like it's not even that it's taking me a while to figure out the math. It's just like I don't think I read as fast. I don't think I. My brain doesn't work as quickly as Jack says.

So I find that really interesting that like you can't keep up with the op. I have so many roadblocks. Like calculus was one when I was in high school. school and then you speaking op is another block. Just a mental block that is just and you can explain the rules of op to me. And I get the rules of op. You can explain them to me so many times. But it's just more like I can't speak it and understand it quickly.

Like another language, I guess. And I was never great at learning other languages. Me neither. Yeah? You don't think? No, I know. I wasn't good at it. I got like a C plus in French too in college.

But you would get an A plus plus an op. Suffice it to say, I was very bad at languages. But so, so why do you get up so well? I mean, you have been speaking at almost your whole life, right? I learned it in one night at the age of 12. And I think it's... Huh. And just held on to it ever since. Yeah, it's rhythmic.

Like, I think... But you do it, you're so fast at it. That's the thing. Because it's rhythmic. You already know the word. You just need to, like, feel when the syllable is. I think your brain just works in a completely different way when it comes to that. Like it just makes sense out of syllables and you equate it to rhythms.

And you just think in this different way that I, people like me, just can't relate to. So like it's a mystery to me when you speak it off as fast as you do. You know what we did to like learn it and get it down and feel comfy with it? The friend who turned out on to be a friend, if you know what I mean. but the friend who taught it to me she was the eldest of six kids and by the way she had these two younger twin sisters

that were like just like a year younger than us or two years younger than them and I liked them so much more than I liked her anyway besides the point because she had we were 12 and she was the oldest and there were she had baby books like all over like kids books like the kind where you learn how to read and shit yeah so we that's how we learn

Like she like pulled up a bunch of baby books and was like Almost like learning how to read again Yeah kind of and then like we got it down over the course of the night And then that was it okay then do me a favor Let's give Austin another stroke Can you read this transcription of the voice memo The voicemail that we just heard from Austin in op Hopi thap er yapu gappai

Apai japa wapa tapu sapai mappi napis opi napis Appa stopin Append Appi opem dropi vapping upon apa cappine apopopopopopopopopopopopi Gapo wapping bapak tapu sapi mapa gapparal fropened

api jappas lappistappend tapu yapur rapa tapparin apasapod apat tapu sapae dappa apops spa beach apai thapa api wapa

hapa vapaping apas dropok op and api wapa's sapo tapo tapa rapa fapide Sappo Appi Wappell Appi hapop Yapu Gappas Hapefappan

Wapit Vappen Fappar mape shappen Oppen Fapper Mappi Shappen Information Appen Fappor Mape Sappen

Hapev Appa Grapi Dappay Bapai Bapai I got three words You said Road trip Stroke

The rest was complete gibberish No you just said Oppenheimer. Jesus Christ. I will never get that. Oppen. Flopper mape shopping. Information?

See? You got it? No, no. I didn't. I looked down because I already had forgotten like what you just told me. Jeez. All right. Well, Austin, sorry about that. Hope you weren't driving again. Jesus.

And if you are. Are the edges of your vision getting wavy? No. Oh, is that a telltale? No. Oh. Because that happens to me whenever I get an aura. Wait, that happens to me all the time.

The edges of your vision. Okay, so. I just think it's when my eyes get strained. I don't think about it. I really, I try not to think about it because if I think about it too hard, I'm going to send myself into a tizzy and like, yeah. Can I talk about it? My little vision thing?

Nobody asked, but I guess if you must. Wow. Aaron, the title of this podcast episode will be called Nobody Asked. Because we've gone on 12 tangents, which is, and they all start with, and by the way, that wine of the week was an hour long because we went on five, okay, anyways. I may have been more than buzz. Oh, you think? No shit.

Oh, am I going to pack? Oh, dude. Delay that flight, figure it out. No, I can't. Okay. I'll, I'll skip the vision thing because we're going on so many tangents as it were already. But I, someone had some semi-jewy. C.

Oh, I love tea. Kind of advice, right? Oh, wait. No, is it tea or is it advice? And also, you can talk about your aura as we'll allow it. We just don't care. No, I'll spare everyone, but this is, it's a little bit of both. It's some slight tea and it's some advice, all right?

Okay. Now, this is a bit on the longer side. This is almost two minutes long. Okay. I'm just prefacing for you. I love that he thinks two minutes is a long time. I mean, you know. Hi, guys, first of all, I needed to say,

Thank you so much for restarting the podcast. I'm so excited. Oh, I'm sorry. I'm Mary from Chicago. I don't know if like... Hi, Mary. Name and whatever. I've called in before, but it's been a hot fact.

But I was like, I had to call back in because you mentioned it in the last episode. And I forgot that I had it in my contact. So I was like, I was pressed. I was ready. Hi. You said called in about whatever. I'm calling some teeth and drama and some work stuff. I have a little bit of all of it.

Let's go. So I work at this small little company. You may not know it. Trader Joe's. Yes, I know. We all love it. We all know it. Wait, can you pause it?

Yeah. And. Yeah. Here's the real team. Oh, yeah? About Trader Joe's. Is that I have a former co-worker. This is Aaron's weight.

That's so weird. Like, no lie. Yeah. I have a former coworker. who's still a very good friend. I talked to her today. And she has family and friend connections. She's like a social butterfly of sorts.

She's involved in so many extracurricular activities. She's involved in all the things. Anyway, she has family and friend connections that she used to go to Thanksgiving at the family house of the Trader Joe. No way. Yahweh. Huh. Yeah.

That's pretty cool. Anyway, keep going. That must have been a fun Thanksgiving. Oh, no, she used to do it every year. I mean, a fun Thanksgiving tradition. I think he died. I think. I think the traitor Joe died.

Joe? But like, there's a lot of money. A lot of money. Dada dollar bills. I don't imagine. You know, I've got a little bit of a co-worker crush on my hands. It's summer. Oh, no.

And so I'm thinking summer-sling territory, but. I know how it can be. You know, people say, don't do anything with a co-worker. Don't shit where you eat, aka. So, you know, I don't know. What do we think? I also think he might like our other co-worker friend. That's okay.

Maybe. Who knows? Dangerous. What do you guys think? And do you have any questions about Trader Joe's? Yes, he is still alive? That an insider might be able to answer? I don't know.

Some people get curious. I think that you guys have had wine on the podcast from there before. I think we did. I don't know. We have a pretty good selection. You do. But you guys stay cool. I love the podcast.

I'm so glad you brought it back. Yay. Thank you very much, Mary, from Chicago. Okay, so I have so many thoughts. Yeah. Okay, yeah. Let's dive into this. All right.

So first off. So a little summer fling, what are we doing? Well, here's the thing about people that work at Trader Joe's is that they are hired because they are, like, they are hired to be fucking flirts with people. Have you ever been to the fucking cash register? Wait, really? I mean, I don't know. I have never worked there.

But like, it's like, oh, great choice. Oh, that's delicious. How's your day going? Have you seen the later? Whatever. Like, they like going to Trader Joe's. Sorry, I'm just, I'm staring slackshot at my wife. I had no idea.

Have you never noticed this? No, I've never noticed this. To be fair, it's been several years since I've patronized a traitor, a Trader Joe. It is sometimes literally why I avoid Trader Joe's. Wait, really? Because of the over-friendliness? The parking lots and the- Oh, the parking lots suck.

The parking lots and sometimes, and you know me, I have a hard time not engaging. We talked about this last episode. Oh, my God. If you engage me, I have a hard time. I can't. When people go, yeah, just don't respond or just don't. And I'm like, I can't. I'm not built that way.

I just am like, if you're going to engage me, I'm like, well, now. I have to be friendly and nice. And not that I don't want to be, I want to be. And that's the problem. That's the problem. That's the problem is that I want to be friendly and nice. And then. So you get cornered at like a traitor chose.

And now we're best friends. And now I have to invite you to my wedding. Right, right. You have their number all the sudden. Just, oh, fuck. Well, who's, do I have to make you a godparent? Like, you know? It's a whole thing.

Anyway. So, okay. So here's the thing. Yeah. We need to marry. We need to figure out, are they being what they're, They were hired to be, which is friendly and jovial and chatty and, you know what I mean? Or what is their authentic self?

Well, Mary likes him. Yeah. But we need to suss out the real him. You think that's the, that's a crux of it? And this is where I, part two of that. Okay. is because she's like, is because Mary is like, I think he might like our other co-worker. Is he just friendly with everybody?

This is why we need to determine the authenticity of this person. Yeah, Mary, what do we like about him? Yeah. What do we like about him? Is it real? Is it like, is this just the show he puts on? Also, I will say if he is showing signs of affection of any sort to somebody else, we need to suss that out. So we just need to make sure that our co-worker at Trader Joe's isn't like spreading the seed here or what have you.

Summer flings, man. They can be wild. We need to really hone in on the authenticity factor of are you flirty and or just overly nice with everybody? I think we just need more information from Mary. Mary, call back in. Honestly, we don't really have a, I mean, I shouldn't say this, but we don't really have a limit. it's not like you get one. Yeah.

But. Call on as much as you want. I feel like we need more from this story from Mary. We need more. I also want to know about the co-worker that he might have feelings for. This potential triangle? We need to know more. Is it reciprocated?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And are we friends with that coworker? Right. Because I'm watching Love Island. Oh my God. And Amaya just shut down. We're so far behind on Love Island. I know.

We're so far behind. But who did she shut down? She shut down. Ace? Charlie. Oh. Because she. She, Charlie is with Hannah and Hannah is like spreading her seed.

Oh, right. Right. Right. And so Charlie. And Charlie is now trying to figure out. Right. The next, you know. Well, he's doing it out of vengeance.

He's like, he's trying to figure. Oh, you want to fuck. Well, he's also trying to figure out how he's going to win that hundred grand. That's true. And Amaya starts. Keep forgetting there's a cash prize at the end of this fucking show called Love Island. But there is. It makes no sense.

So, but Charlie is. like and Amaya is like sorry I can't do that girl code like she's too good right right right she's too good of a friend I'm not going to betray her like that listeners if you don't know love island is the trashiest of trashy reality shows holy shit it's juicy and it's like what's different is it's kind of live it's kind of in like real time sort of which makes it even better in my opinion sure sure and like you get to vote yeah we get to vote on like that's why we're trying to catch up we're like six episodes behind we're trying to like catch up so that we can get to the voting stage now seven yeah oh Jesus, we're so far behind. But anyways, Mary. Mary, we need more. My suggestion, regardless of this guy's potential feelings for the other co-worker, I say pursue that shit. Summerflings, they can be fun.

Jack has never had a real job. That's my opinion. Is that Jack has never had a real job. By the way, this is a sad. By the way. This is the sad part. Yeah. By the way, this is the sad but true part about it all.

Is that, men are disgusting. and you are going to find out that this man is not worth it in somewhere. So bitter, so jaded. Anyway, Mary, call back in. We need more info. We can do a live chat if you want. We've got questions. At Medcan, we know that life's greatest moments are built on a foundation of good health,

from the big milestones to the quiet winds. That's why our annual health assessment offers a physician-led, full-body checkup that provides a clear picture of your health today and may uncover early signs of conditions like heart disease and cancer. A healthier you means more moments to cherish. Take control of your well-being and book an assessment today. Medcan. Live well for life. Visit medcan.com slash moments to get started.

We have an update on the pigeons. Pigeon update. Okay, so, all right. Okay, so somebody had texted in in May and said, do y'all still have this number? When did we come back? We came back in June. Okay.

I'm assuming they must have seen. that we had announced, hey, we're coming back, June 10th, what have you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So they're asking about the hotline. And so somebody sent in a picture of their pigeon and said, do you all still have this number? If so, here's a picture of my pigeon just because. And then June 14th, welcome back, Aaron. I'm glad you finally got rid of Jack. Oh, that's sweet. That's sweet. I responded, wait, can we talk about your pigeon? backup. So they sent another picture.

Oh my gosh. They said, oh my God, this is the best picture ever. One of the pigeons has their head poking out, like in the forefront. Adorbable. And then the other is like a full body pick.

Please don't say full body pick in reference to pigeons. What the fuck is wrong with you? And they said, of course, I have two and they are lesbians. They both lay eggs and both sit on them together. It's so cute. Dude, at Pride Month, that's beautiful. That's beautiful. As the taping of this episode, just FYI.

Can we get the lesbian pigeons on as guests? I think we have to at this rate. I have so many questions. Same. Do you think that they caught them in the wild? I think they caught them in the act. No, shut up. Stop.

No, I mean it. Like, how do you get a pet pigeon? How do you get two pet pigeons? That's a great question. Can you, you can train them, right? Are they like crows? Well, I heard that pigeons are like, well, or wait, is that homing pigeons? Is that different?

Uh-oh. We're getting our pigeons crossed. What were we talking about again? Who fucking remembers? Oh, no, pigeon update. Oh no Oh no Oh no

By the way No no more by the way Hey no shit There was in the wild I was in the wild Like last week And oh I was talking to I was with another friend of mine

Yeah coworker, a friend And out of the blue I swear to God I never said a goddamn thing Okay She started talking talking to me about how her dog used to bring in baby squirrels.

Awful. So without even trying, we went into our squirrel stories. Everybody has a squirrel story. That is so funny. That's so freaking weird. That is so bizarre that literally after, right after we talked about it was a caller or someone from the hotline, right? Yeah.

Had mentioned like everyone has a squirrel story. What's your squirrel story? Everybody has a squirrel story. Oh, no. That was not from the hotline. That was from the Patreon only thing. Oopsie. Oh, no.

Oh, guys, subscribe to our Patreon if you want to know what the fuck I'm talking about. We did just have, so, yeah, we do a monthly bonus full podcast episode just for patrons. So like just once a month, get a little bonus episode just for the patrons. And instead of like a hotline, it was kind of like a whole like discord style of communication where people could just leave messages, very similar to the way the hotline. works and someone from the Patreon, one of the patrons said, hey, everyone I know has a squirrel story. What's your squirrel story? And we were like, God damn it. We have like, Aaron's like, I have three squirrel stories. Yeah. And then literally after we recorded that, that came into my real life. Yeah, your real life. Without even trying. Like we were just. Natural conversation.

She was giving me a ride home. So weird. And it just like came up in conversation. I don't even remember how, but she was like, oh my God, my dog. drop baby squirrel in the house. Good boy. Anyway, so it was a girl. Anyway, subscribe to the Patreon if you want to hear more about our squirrel stories and and longer episodes too.

And what have you. And what have you, right. Yeah, you get all sorts of fun things. But also, please continue calling into the hotline, Dad Hug Me 10 because, and honey, I want to float this idea past you, okay? Okay. Or buy you, whatever the preposition is. Yeah.

I want to float a nice. idea your way. I kind of want to do in the future a, am I the asshole episode where listeners call in or text in with their predicaments. If you are listening, if you have your own like scenario where you're not sure if you're the bad guy or not and you feel like volunteering that story to us, I feel like that could be a fun thing for us to judge and be like, not the asshole. And here's why. Or yeah, you're kind of the asshole. Here's why. I think if we do that. I also want to hear about yours. Should we each come up with, contribute our own? Am I the asshole stories? Yeah. One for me stands out pretty far. For something that you did. Something that I did.

Okay. Okay. Then I'll come, okay. I'll come up with mine. I'll bring my own. I don't think it's as fun. But I'd rather, I'd rather judge than be judged. But I suppose, you know, you can't have your cake and eat it too. I mean, I think, I don't know. I think it can be fun. I'm down. Fuck it. Let's do it. So listeners, we, we have an ask of you. I mean, feel free to call in with whatever stories you want. But I think, well, for our possibly next episode, we will kind of prioritize any, am I the asshole stories from the hotline that you guys have and want to share with us. Yeah.

Like genuinely like, you know, if you're not sure, like, oh, did I mess up? Am I the asshole? Fuck me, right? Let us know with Dad Hug Me 10. Keep it anonymous. Don't use actual names. You know what I mean? like, can I tell you what kind of made me think of it?

Sure. Was it an, am I the asshole Reddit post, perhaps? Why, yes, it was, honey. Which I typically, and by the way, I am not a typical browser of the subreddit, Am I the Assall. It just like, it came to my feed, this one particular story. And it's when I was like, oh, my God, that's kind of incredible. And I shared it with you.

Do you know, do you remember this? And I won't read the whole thing. But like, this was just like, I don't know if they're, I don't even. care if they're making this up. I thought it was pretty fucking funny. Am I the asshole for threatening to divorce my husband over Mr. Beast? I female 24 am seriously at my wits end. My husband, male 26, is partially deaf from DJing in his teen slash early 20s, so he needs things louder to hear them. But what I don't get is why that has to mean, and I'm involuntarily listening to Mr. Beast yelling about burying himself alive for giving away $10,000.

dollars to strangers at 9 a.m. on a Sunday. And it just goes on and on and on about just how unbearably loud and annoying the house is just echo, like Mr. Bees is echoing off the walls in this house because of her husband. And it's just, I mean, like, I'm sure the actual story is not nearly as funny as it sounds, but like, come on, just that, what's up guys today? A house full of that at full volume. And I told Jack when he was telling me about this, I go, Well, I can't really weigh in because I've never watched a Mr. Beast video. Right. Not even the one Jack was in.

Right. So I... I mean, he skews to a much lower demographic than us. So it's... What do you mean lower, Jack? What do you mean? Oh, yeah, younger. I said, sorry, yeah.

Oh, oh, oh, yeah. I think the wine of the week is starting to hit me, too. Oh, you didn't mean dumber? No, I didn't. I didn't. You didn't mean younger? Dumber, Jack? A lower beneath us demo.

Cretans, if you will. No, I actually went younger. I just said lower, but that's kind of funny. I skewed to a lower demographic. But anyways, so maybe I was inspired by that. I don't know. But yeah, tell us all your Mr. Beeve stories. Dad hug me 10.

Tell me about your, am I the asshole stories? Tell me how much of a fan. Mr. Beast you are. Yeah, that's it. That's the slant. Aaron's, Aaron's dying to know. Dying to know. You'll like this. You will like this, honey. Sure. Maybe. So on Apple podcasts, right, you can leave public reviews of podcasts. You give them a rating out of five stars and you can write a little paragraph, you know, about like what you like or dislike about a podcast. So what you're saying is that if you are on the right side of the technology world, no, nay, if you are on the correct side of the technology world, and you own an Apple iPhone or Apple device that allows you access to the Apple

podcast app. Yes, dear. You are able to leave a review on their Apple Podcasts app. One could assume, yes. You're just, you're just making a whole, like, as an Apple user, as an iPhone user, you're just Superior. Yes. Superior. Yeah. Speaking of below, everyone else is below.

Yes, that's correct. Yes, that's correct. Everyone else skews into a lower demographic. That's correct. Yes. Okay. So anyway, I bring that up because we have some fun recent reviews

from listeners about our podcast since its return. Ah. This one comes from listener, My Cylinder, five stars. They write. Hey, Jack, men are what? You know what's so funny?

Fuck you. Is that I'll be honest, I do not remember what we talk about on these podcasts, but because all of the stories that I share are 100,000% honest and the truth, I know exactly what that's in reference to. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And what are they, Jack? I can't remember trash. You trained me very well. I did. This is cool.

Tonyverse writes, great podcast. It's so great to see the podcast return. My wife's boyfriend gives me just enough iPad time at the end of the night each week to listen to your newest episode. That's so nice of him. That's always a hoot. Can't wait to see what you guys do going forward. Oh, thank you. Thank you.

Also, wait, I want the tea. Hey, some people are really, really into that. And one thing we don't do on the podcast is King's Shame. No. No. I didn't say I want to. want a kinksham. I said I want the tea. This user writes,

I would die for Aaron and her wife, parentheses, male. I will end with one more, because this is a really nice, like a semi-serious one. Oh. A review. Yeah, yeah. I know. I know. The subject is courage to date again.

Ooh. I've been a fan of Jack's film since his earliest videos. I grew up with his parodies and songs, and I think we lived close by. As I remember that summer, with all the stink bugs in Snowmageddon. Oh. Oh, weird.

Yeah. Last year. Which, by the way, reminds me of grounded. Oh, my God. Person who's only ever played grounded. This reminds me of video game grounded. Fucking idiot. Video game has combat.

Wow. That reminds me of the bugs and grounded. There are stink bugs. I hate you. This will put you in your place, ready? Last year, I got divorced and it was rough. Oh, fuck. I went through depression.

and thought there wasn't anyone out there for me. Well, as a lifelong subscriber, I was watching Jack's YouTube channel for some laughs and finally decided to start their podcast despite being late to the game. It soon became my routine on a bad day to pop open some wine, let's go, and listen to those old podcast episodes,

even if they were from a year or two ago since I never heard them live. Something about coming home to hearing a couple bantering and laughing made me feel like maybe there was some. one for me too. After all, Jack found Aaron. In my lonely studio apartment, it was nice to have some chatter going on too. Now, I live with my partner and am much better off mentally and was overjoyed to see the series back. Thanks for giving me the hope to keep dating to find my Aaron. Thanks for keeping

me company when I was struggling and lonely. While I can't say the podcast saved my life, it brought some light to a very difficult time. Mimi big boy. Thank you. Okay, first off, thank you. I'm glad I didn't. I'm glad we didn't save your life because that's a lot of pressure. It is.

Isn't that just the nicest, like, coolest thing? That is very nice, very cool. Thank you for that. I'm so glad that we could have like in some way, you know how they say like when you hear every time a bell rings and the angel got it's me. Uh-huh. I wish they could fucking. Can I get a bell ring when I know that like somebody is like like listening and like cares and gives a shit?

Like I would love that. Well, it's called the hotline, honey. I know, but it makes my day too. Yeah. It makes my fucking week too. It makes my, you know what I mean? I just, I love that. Can we get that bell?

Jesus. Like, I want to know. How can I make this about me? There it is. And there it is. No, for real, though, I am, I am, one, I'm so happy to hear that you are now. With a partner, you're living with them. Not that you need a partner to be satisfied in life.

But I'm glad to hear that it sounds as though you're in a much better place than you were previously. Like, so happy for that. And I am very happy. And like, honestly, like, I, it's very strange for me to think that, like, I or we, could have played any part any part in just keeping you company and and bringing you a little bit of levity in a time where you were in a state so if you could just like pass along your phone number because there will come a time i'm going to need to call you and you're just going to need to entertain me that be cool i i'm going to need that from you so thank you yeah in advance it's called

um what do you call that uh reciprocation. What was that Haley Jolosma movie? Sixth Sense. Yeah, it's called the Sixth Sense. No. What we do in the shadows? Pass it along or...

Pay it forward. Pay it forward. It was way more phone. We get just to randomly name Haley Joel Osmond movies. It was impressive. It was impressive your knowledge of his repertoire. AI. Right, right, right.

Wait, was it AI? Yeah, that was it. Yeah. That was a sad one. That was a sad. Boy, if you want... If you're ever feeling too happy, too... Too high, I'm mighty. Go ahead and watch AI. That'll tear you straight down. No, I, and look,

I wanted to end on that review because I love the jockey reviews. I love the fucking joke so much. But that one was just like, really like, oh my God, like, like really touching and super cool of you to say. So couldn't be happier to hear that you're in a seemingly, you know, awesome, better place. And thank you so much for listening to the podcast and just watching my stupid videos for so damn long. That means the freaking world to me. And thank you for taking the time out of your day to leave us a review. Yeah. I really appreciate that.

Goes a long freaking way. Honey. First off, hold on. Yeah. We need to address the elephant in the room. We didn't have a quiz or class activity today or field trip. And I think we need to address that. And it's because I accidentally talked for too much.

And that's my be. I'm very sorry, but we ran out of time. You? I know. You're so quiet usually. I was over-served. Listeners do note that, yeah, we spend a little longer on the hotline and the reviews, but we do have many, my counsel has been stupidly hard at work. We have multiple quizzes at the ready whenever we want.

So like if you're Jones and for just a wild, crazy, chunky quiz, they're coming back. Don't you worry. We have many in the tank. We do. I just talk too much. And I think some people just like to talk about Aaron. I do. And, you know, and then some don't.

So the people that don't, we do apologize. Yeah, I apologize. That's my bee. That's on me. But honey? But also it's Jack's fault because he over served me. You know what? I do take the blame for that.

And honey, I'm going to need you to talk a little bit longer because it's time, dear listeners, for your horoscope. Now, July 1st, that's still cancer, right? Yes. I'm insulted. You don't know that. I really don't know this shit very well. But I do know that even though Aaron is about to read, I'm sorry, be inspired by a horoscope for cancers, I feel like this applies to all signs, water signs. What's, can you name the water signs for me, Jack?

Sure can. Cancer. Okay. Cerses. What? Uh, is Sagittarius one? No. Okay. That's why Sunday is such an outcast.

I don't fucking know this shit. She's the only non-water sign in the house. Oh, is that? Okay. Yes. Poor thing. She just parks in agreement. Yes, exactly. That's fucking right.

Well, honey, even though this is for cancers, I feel like this is for everyone. All right. Okay. So. By the way, I did just get a notification from Co-Star. Oh, did you? Oh, my God. Remember Co-Star?

Yeah. Oh, Co-Star and I talk every day. What do they say? Co-Star says, say yes to everything worth saying yes to today. That's so. powerful. And you definitely can't, you definitely can't vaguely apply that to so many things in, you know, your life.

If it's worth saying yes to, yeah, no shit I said yes to it. What the fuck? Damn. Horoscopes win again. Anyway, but I do think horoscopes are fun, but Co-Star is like, I don't know. No. I don't know that it's it. We got to revisit Co-Star, by the way, for the return. But honey, only if you're good.

Ignore, ignore these cards I'm giving you, okay? And please look into your chakras and such and tell us the horoscope for cancers. Cancer. Buckle up, butter cup. Butter up. Cupple butt. Buckle butter. What?

Cockle buckle buckle. Popper puck. Cup a cup. Butter cutter, Jack. Please call an ambial blockle. I'm huckling. Struggle. Oh my God.

Honey, are you okay? Napo. No. Napo. She's going off script. Appi, op-i, op-and-wapel. Why did you say it like that? I think it's, I think that cancer horoscope was also over-served.

Well, your delivery was really something else. So thank you very much. Op-out, stop and op-ing. Something stopping. I'm not stopping? Outstanding. Outstanding. Wow, not even close.

Damn it. Well, that's our show. Thanks for coming. I had fun. I don't know if anybody else did, but I know I did. And that's what's the most important. And now I need a pack for a trip to the East Coast for a little bit. You sure do.

And I'll be back. But thanks for letting me procrastinate my actual work and tasks that I need to achieve. Yeah. And listeners. Thank you for listening and calling in and texting and more of that, please. We'll be back with a quiz next time. Don't you worry. Please leave us a review on Apple Podcasts.

If you are on the correct side of technology, we much appreciate it and love to read what your actual thoughts are. Also, Dad Hug Me 10. We love hearing from you, texting, calling. We listen to them both. Much apologize for the quiz thing. That's on me. I can't stop talking. Girlfriend needs to learn to shut her mouth.

And speaking of talking, if you want to hear even more of Aaron talking, please subscribe to our Patreon. Last week's episode on Patreon was literally 30 minutes longer than the regular cut available everywhere else. And we have an additional podcast episode that comes out once a month. And maybe that will change in the future because apparently I just cannot stop talking. So, anyway. for thought. Thank you so much. We'll see you guys next week. Until next time, haters.