Erin is the Funny One - Erins Covid Taste Test

Episode Date: January 11, 2026

Erin has Covid and has lost (most of) her sense of taste - so naturally Jack makes Erin guess her way through 14 various liquids and frozen foods, with some very surprising results! Think of this as the spiritual sequel to the EITFO episode back in May 2022 when Erin did the same to Jack! Follow Erin and Jack on Instagram:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/2toesup/?hl=en⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/jacksfilms/?hl=en⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ To watch Erin Is The Funny One on YouTube: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/@jackisanerd⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast for free wherever you're listening or by using this link: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://bit.ly/erinisthefunnyone Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Welcome aboard via rail. Please sit and enjoy. Please sit and sip. Play. Post. Taste. View and enjoy. Via rail, love the way.

Hey, welcome back to a new episode of Aaron is the funny one. Aaron, what happened to last week? Well, Jack, if you must know, I must. I'm a great friend and the subject matter of our episode last week. She asked me to take it down. My as for anybody who did catch the episode and and I hate to I hate to do this to you guys, but it is still available on Patreon, but I have a request. She was fine with it.

She was fine with that. The subject matter of our podcast last week, the toxic gossip train of thought. Which is my favorite title of anything ever. Was she did ask me to take it down because she, I don't know, I think she was just paranoid. So anyway, sorry for everybody who missed it. I appreciate it, but I will say a lot of people weighed in on the hotline and I loved hearing from it because there was a lot of thought that went into these people's opinions. So that's what happened to the last podcast. What happened the week before, Jack?

Yada, yada, yada. But we didn't do a podcast that week because I wasn't feeling well. And then the following week we did it. And then Megan asked me to take it down because she got nervous. And then guess where we are today, people? One of us is COVID. I have fucking COVID. My God.

Just a string of, you know, fortuitous luck. What the fuck happened to cancer season and a year of luck? Okay? Like, we were supposed to have... I know this is like the golden era, right? We're supposed to have a year of luck. Okay? And so I am going to say that everything happens for a reason.

And maybe COVID is actually a good thing. Like maybe I'm, you know, maybe it's a good thing. Well, you have COVID. I don't think it's fully gone. Because, like, I had tomatoes. I can still smell, right? I can still smell. Okay.

I think. Here, let me smell there. Well, hold on. Okay. Hold on. Oh, yeah. Hold on. Yeah, I can still smell.

Okay. You can smell the wine. But I've lost. But I, and like, I had tomato soup today. And I could totally taste the tomato soup. Okay. But, like, I think it's kind, it's either like hit or miss or like, I'm going to say I've, I've lost, like, maybe like, 80%.

Not the full, not the full whammy. Okay. Well, we're going to put that to the test. But first, first, honey. Yeah. It's time for wine of the week, which should be very entertaining, given your major loss of sense of taste. We're going to try out another chardonnay. Shocker, surprise. Murphy good. Murphy good. Chardonnay. It's a California chardonnay. Cheers me, honey. And let me know of any notes you don't taste. Yeah, what's anything? Nothing. Oh, she is for once at a loss. for words. Nothing. Wow. Wow. All right. I have no idea.

I am. Okay. So that's, wow, that's bad. I can taste that it doesn't have bubbles and I can taste that it's not. Oh, I'm so sorry. But at the expense of your loss of sense of taste, I'm so excited for this test. Wait, do you like, do you like this? I like this a lot.

Is it tart? Is it sweet? Is it tastes like chardonnay? Does it? Okay. I'm a horrible person to ask. That's what I would say. I'd be like, I don't know, it tastes like maybe what chardonnay should taste like.

I don't know. There are flavor notes provided. Okay, what's it say? That's rare. Complete with pictures. That's cute. Ripe apple. Vanilla.

It's like we're in preschool. It's drinking for preschoolers. I think all wines should have not just notes, but pictures of the notes they exude. Ripe apple, vanilla and lemon curd. You like vanilla stuff. I do. I don't like this. I don't like vanilla stuff.

I'm a story point kind of guy. Guys, I don't know. Just kind of tastes like it tastes. Does it taste like wine, though, or not even? It has the texture of wine, maybe, to you. Yeah, there's definitely a texture of wine. But you don't really taste wine at all. No.

Spoilers. I didn't do it for this test, but I was wondering, before we even get to the test, and we're getting there, guys, those will be fun. I have quite the concoctions whipped up. But can, do you, if I gave you a red wine and a white wine, without looking, without smelling, do you think you'd be able to taste the, or like, tell the difference? I do. Because red wine usually leaves, like,

my mouth feeling like, like, you know how, have you ever eaten raw spinach and it leaves like your mouth feeling like it's been zapped of all moisture? No. I'm not sure. I'm not sure I've ever had that sensation. It makes even my teeth feel really raw. Makes me question of if I've ever had like raw spinach salad. Like a spinach salad or like. I've had many spinach salads. So I don't, I guess I haven't really had that experience. Yeah. It like sometimes it like makes your whole mouth go like, I did not know that was the thing. Yeah, like SpongeBob when he went and visited Sally. I don't need it.

Yeah. It's like that. Thank you for painting a picture. But it's like, it's not like I'm thirsty. It's just like almost like if you throw up and the acid like burns all the like enamel off your teeth. It's just like it's just uncomfortable. Well, that just shows that like you typically have such a sharp sense of taste. I don't know that it's a taste thing though.

I think it's a texture thing. You have very strong senses. Like if something smells a little off, it's like all encompassing all to you, I think. I, it depends on the smell. Like certain perfumes or hand lotions, I am like, oh my God, I cannot get enough of that. And then others, I'm like I am, I literally feel like I've just spun around the room like 50 times and I'm going to barf. I have the biggest headache in my life and the only thing that's going to solve it is throwing up right now. like alien there's this perfume called alien i also i don't know if you know that's about me i also

subscribe to the subreddit r perfumes i did not know this i think it's called perfumes perfume something something like it's much less sad than our ice cream it's i so here's the thing i enjoy reading about people's reviews of perfumes because they're so subjective oh yeah give me an example this perfume um oh my god who's the guy it's a guy it's a brand but i it's a guy it's a guy What's his fucking name? He has like two. Oh, Mugler, Mueller, Muleer, M-U-G-L-I-E-R, M-U-G-L-E-R. He has like two really popular perfumes.

One was really big when I was in high school and college called Angel. And one of my best friends in high school's mom wore it. And everybody used to compliment her on it. And it would make me want to go, bleh. Like, oh, so you felt crazy. Oh, my God, it felt fucking crazy. but people rave about Angel. They love Angel.

And so the same thing happened with this alien that he made. It's this perfume called Alien. And I went out of my way and bought one of the minis of it. Right. Because I just was like, everybody's raving about how this is like the, this is the perfume. Everybody will turn their head when I walked down the street and say, you smell amazing.

Hype cells. And I'm like, well, I want to smell amazing. I want to smell what amazing smells like. Sure. I'm not kidding I sprayed it once in our living room This is like probably like pre-pandemic Maybe like during period

So it was years ago Yeah And I had to like I had to go take a shower Jesus I fucking thought I was gonna die Like I was so strong I did one spray of it on like a piece of paper And it because I like to spray it on paper

Like and then waft it So I can smell what it smells like If I'm just waving it Sure In the air in front of my face very scientific i know oh my god it's it reeked up the whole fucking first floor of the house like it reeks up the whole house so what you're saying is you typically have a very strong no i just think certain smell like certain things like other things i'm like i don't know that doesn't really

bother me i don't know i don't really smell anything like but certain smells i'm like well honey yeah let's put it to the test post covid okay round two okay all right because i have a sense of smell. I did tell Jack, what if I take a first sip without my nose and then try to guess and then second taste with my nose to try to guess? Yeah. And again, and again, I'm not saying I've lost it 100%. I'm just saying it's not what it usually is. And she's also got a blindfold, you know, over her head ready to apply. Yes, I do. It's a sara shating. It's a sarong. What I prepared is a lovely mix of both liquids and some frozen things. And I've organized them all in numbered red solo cups.

If you're watching on YouTube, you can see a little picture of some of them. And some have straws, some have spoons. We're going to go back and forth. We're going to start with the liquid with a straw, honey. All right. Okay. I want you to... What kind of straw?

Plastic, glass? Plastic and flexible. Plastic and flexible. Fuck those turtles. Where did you get the plastic straw? Did we already have it? No. Is it clean?

It's as clean as can be. Okay. I just purchased them today. Okay. Okay. And the cups too. It's as clean as could be. Because sometimes I feel like I can taste like soap if it were a glass straw.

Yeah. And I would, I'd be like, uh, uh, okay. All clean. Okay. So we're going to start. Okay. I'm going to put my blindfold on. Okay.

Thank you very much. I will hand it to you. Hold on. Let me tighten it. Do you want me to help? No. Go away. I don't go boss.

No, I have a mix of 14 total things for you to taste today. That's a lot. Yeah. We're going through the gauntlet. All right. Fine. Maybe this will actually bring my tastes back, you know? Wouldn't that be fun?

I would be appreciative of it. Yeah. I'm not nervous yet. Like, it's only been like a day that I haven't really been at 100. It'll come back. So I've lost mine for like a few weeks when I had COVID. I just, and yours like slowly came back, right? Yeah, I think so.

I think it wasn't like all at once. I'm not nervous yet. In fact, I'm a little relieved because I'm like, this would be such a great way to like not have to care about food anymore. Is that horrible? Is that a bad message to send? Aaron, do me favor. What?

Shut up and outstretch your arms, please, for me. Okay, I'm going to hand you a red solo cup. Okay, feel for the straw. Okay. All right. All right. Now first, take a sip. Try not to smell.

Yeah. Like through your nose. I'm going to close my nose. Okay, she's taking her first sip of the mystery beverage. And then when you're ready, I want you to give us a guess of what you're tasting there. Oh, I know that one. Do you? Yeah. It's red Gatorade. Red Gatorade.

Yeah. Baby good one. That was really, no, it's not Red Gatorade. It's not. Okay. I'm going to taste it with my nose now. Okay. She's using the nose now. It's definitely a fruit punch of some sort. All right. She's taking another sip with the nose now. Any guesses? It's not red Gatorade. Is it fruit punch? Is that your final answer? Yes. That's my, is it red?

No. It's not red? It's not red. Oh. At least the blindfold works. Hold on. Okay. She's taking a third illegal sip, a bonus sip. Oh, that's orange juice.

It's orange juice. Wow. There you go. As soon as you said, it's not red. I was like... How fast... Isn't that funny? Okay, so your sense of taste is...

Okay, I can taste orange juice. It's diluted to the fact that it took three sips for you to get that it's orange juice. But you can taste it, though. I can't... Well, yes, I can taste orange juice. All right. Give me that. Okay.

Okay. Wait, you have no idea. I'm how pleased. I am with myself right now. Good for you, Aaron. We're going to mix it up. Though I couldn't taste pepperoni or ice cream. Okay.

We're going to move on to a frozen thing. Just a frozen thing. So there is a cup and a spoon. And I'm going to try to put some of this frozen stuff on the spoon for you. But there's plenty more. Okay. Okay. Can you guess the frozen thing?

Did you do this because I couldn't eat? I couldn't taste the ice cream last night. A little bit. Most of because you insist. You insisted. You insisted that I include frozen things and you were kind of a brat about it. So I'm like, fine. We'll include frozen things. Okay. Well, it's definitely like ice cream. Okay. Any guesses as to what type of ice cream? Assuming it is ice cream. Don't use your nose now. There are like chunks in it. Are there? Hmm. It was peanut butter. Oh yeah? It's peanut butter. It's peanut butter ice cream. Maybe like, this is so fun. Oh my God. Jack. I'm so excited. I'm not like dead and dying. Yay. You have no idea. Baby, I'm very happy for you about that. This has got to be. This tastes like Reese's.

Okay. So I'll give you a hint. You are right in that it is peanut butter ice cream partially. There is, for 50,000 bonus points, there's another half of this. It's blank peanut butter ice cream. It's not like Reese's, it's not like peanut butter cup? No, no, no. You get Rises out of your head.

But there's just another half, another component. Chocolate? Yeah, chocolate. That's the fucking Reese's cup. That's what a cup is. It's not, it's fine. That's a Reese's cup. You know what?

Episode over. You ace. No, give me another. Oh, I have so many more. Okay. All right. Because the three tries for orange juice, that, that was concerning. Let's get you another beverage.

You got me sick. This is your fault. I didn't even want to go to, I didn't even want to stay in Vegas. Jack, Jack wanted to stay. Jack was like, we have to go. We have to go. We have to go. Okay.

I have another beverage for you, honey. Still can't taste the Chardonnay, though. That's really interesting. Is that your palate cleanser? It is. fun. Okay, honey, another straw in a cup headed your way, all right? So stretch out those arms for me. Okay, find that straw and give us a sip and then give us a guess as to what beverage is in the cup. This is number three. I don't like this. It's warm. You don't like it. It's warm. Why didn't you chill

this? Um, I thought I did. It's warm. Okay, well. It's room temp. Okay. You're room temp. What is it? It's like milk. It's milk. Okay. Oh, I don't like it at all. Is your guest milk? Let me, hold on. I don't even want to take another sip of it. The scowl. Okay, you don't have to.

No, I... You don't have, baby, don't get sick. Is it milk? It's close. Is it almond milk? No, it's actually coconut milk. It is? It's coconut milk.

Yeah. Oh, I could just, really? Yeah, yeah, real, yeah. Coconut water, specifically. Oh. Coconut water. No, it tastes like milk. I love coconut water.

Oh, no. Has this, has COVID ruined coconut water for you? Wait, why does it taste like milk? You know I hate milk. This is one of the things that Jack did to me that I blame him for. That I blame him for about how I got COVID and he didn't, by the way, because he's been with me the entire time I've been sick and he has not gotten COVID. Like, not a peep. Made him test last night on stream. There are hundreds of people that can vouch for this. He is negativo, which is fucking bullshit. And another reason why men are trash. But besides the point, um, where was I going?

with that? I just, I don't know, but I just took it. Oh, yes. Okay. I just took a sip of the coconut water and it tastes like coconut water, baby. No. Oh, God. So he, he went downstairs in the hotel that we were saying at and got me a latte from one of the coffee shops down there, but it was like not a Starbucks where they're like prepared to ask you like, what kind of milk would you want? Right. What seraps would you want? What you did it? It was just like a, you know, off brand coffee shop. So they like, if you don't ask for a specific type of milk, they just give you regular milk. And by the way, people, I fucking hate milk. Like, I do, I, well, I can now, but before this past weekend, I could not have told you the last time I drank regular milk, as long as it wasn't in ice cream or like, but like liquid milk.

Jack got me a latte. That was regular milk. And I am convinced that my immune system was like, what the fuck is this shit? And that's how you got COVID. And that's how I got COVID. Hey, babe, do me a big favor. Yeah. Throw out your arms for me.

There's a spoon attached to this one, not a straw. All right. Got another frozen thing for you. It's already on the spoon, so. Okay. Oh, that's a big one. All right. Can you see it?

Yeah. There you go. I feel like the lady from wedding thing is. Sticking her tongue out. Yeah. All righty. Ooh, it's sour. Sourer.

Okay. What is this frozen thing that I just gave you? Sorbet. Palette cleanser, literally. Sorbet, okay. Is there a type of? of sorbet it could be lemon hold on it's sour it's tart oh that's a big one orange final answer you should have stuck with lemon it's lemon sorbet yeah fuck yeah wow uh-huh i was actually can i tell you

what i was really thinking it was yeah what yeah what did you think i thought it was rainbow sherbert ooh and then i was like no i today i can't be right i had to look up the difference between sherbert and sorbet what's the difference sherbert has dairy sorbet does not I knew that about sorbet. This is lemon. This is actually quite sweet for lemon. It's lemon. It's a lemon sorbet. This tastes way sweeter than what a lemon, like, what I think of when I think of.

What a typical, like, pallet cleansing sorbet would do or what tastes like? Well, it's, it's just not that sour. It's, like, sour, but it's not that sour. Hmm. Like, I would say, like, a lemon, like, starburst is more sour than this. I'm just, I'm shocked that you switched to orange at the last second. You had it. You absolutely had it.

Wow. And I know if you, if you didn't have COVID, you would have nailed that. You think so? Absolutely. It's kind of sweet. Can you taste it? Just kidding. Don't taste it.

No, absolutely not. Fuck yourself. All right, I got another beverage for you. Okay, hold on. I want my palate cleanser. Aaron's trying to give me COVID. What the fuck? I've been dodging so well so far.

We have been literally right next to each other in a hotel room. So we're not talking like a sweet. We're talking like a hotel room. Yeah. It's a miracle. I don't know how. For a week before. And he hasn't gotten it.

I couldn't tell you. It's fucked up. Like, we touched tongues. Nothing. Okay, honey, outstretch your arms for me, please. I have item number five. It's another beverage with a straw. Okay.

Okay. Find the straw. It's better not be fucking milk. I'll kill you. Give it a little, get a little, she's holding her nose. I really love that. She's holding her nose. What is the beverage I just served you?

First off. It's fucking warm. It's room temp. And it tastes like milk again. I swear to God. It shouldn't be warm. I chilled everything for hours. It's warm.

Okay. It's warm. Okay. Well. It's room temp. It's gross. And it tastes like milk. I just poured it from the fridge.

All right. You think it tastes like milk. Is it milk? She's going in for a second and does not want to. This is going to be a fun one. It's thicker. It's thicker. It's thicker on the inside than it is in the outside.

It kind of tastes chocolatey, but it's thick. It's thick. It tastes like chocolate milk. I don't like it. Do you think it is chocolate milk? We need an answer, Aaron. This better not be a Mr. Beast shake. Oh my God, Aaron.

I swear to God. It's Mr. Beast chocolate milk. No. Why? I told you I had no interest in trying it. You nailed that perfectly. Holy shit. That is the Mr. Beast chocolate milk.

Guys, it's, I mean, no comment. Oh, no. I don't want to get off the mailing list. He sent me smores once and they were really good. Oh, no. Honey, it's okay. We'll chalk it up to, she doesn't know what she's talking about. It's COVID.

The COVID's just fogging her brain up. Guys, it's not, mm-mm. Here's the thing about it is that it's too thick to be a nice drink and too thin to be a good protein shake. And it tastes like watered down chocolate. It tastes more milk than chocolate. We're going to mix it up with this next one, honey. We got another frozen thing coming your way.

flying in frozen thing. This is item number six. Ooh, the spoon is frozen. Oh, let me, um, let me scoop you some. Okay. So there's some stuff already on the spoon. All right, she's, she's, she's feeling it with her lips like a fucking alien who's never I can't see anything. Eat anything before. It's very funny. What is that, honey? What are you, what are you trying right now? What is that? I'm so lucky. Oh, how are you lucky? You have COVID. That's my favorite flavor of ice cream. What's, what is honey? Coffee. Is that your final answer? Yes.

You're you fucking right. It's coffee ice cream, baby. I'm so lucky I can still taste coffee ice cream. You are. It's so wild. You struggle with like orange juice, but ice cream you're, you're more or less fine with. Well, these are pretty strong. What I would say, though, is that the same way the Mr. Beasts, like, everything tastes

really diluted. So like, I know it's coffee because I can taste the coffee, but like pre-COVID coffee ice cream is so much more rich. Like, just think how good this will. taste once the COVID has left your body. Did you use Hogandaws? I think I did. Hold on. I love Hogandaws coffee ice cream.

It's so good. Confirmed. Hogan dolls. I'm so lucky I can still taste that. Enjoy, honey. Enjoy because. But it is still like mild. Do you know what I mean?

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So if you were to give me something that's not that strong, like this chardonnay, apparently, I'm like, I don't know. Taste like water. It's funny. Keep on drinking. Well, then let's try to.

beverage. All right, this will be a fun one. Here is another beverage. This is item number seven on our list. Tell me this is colder than the others. This is item number seven. No, it's not. I can already feel it in the cup. I handed you another beverage. She's pinching her nose, taking a sip. She looks disgusted. She's shaking her head. She's scowling, grimacing. She does not like what she just had. It's bubbly. Is it? Tell me more about this. Yeah, fizzies on my tongue. Hmm. Interesting. But what does it taste like? Any guesses as to what I just gave you? Grape. Grape soda.

Really? Yes. Fizzy grape soda. Grape soda. Is that your final answer? No. Okay. Hold on.

Okay. I have like a memory of this drink. Do you? That's funny. When I was four, I was my fourth birthday. Wow. Who remembers that? Okay.

And I went to a Sesame Place the day before. And I got lost. We may have talked about this in season one. I'm not sure. We may have. You've told me this story. I got lost twice that day, but only one that people knew about, like, the adults knew about. One was when I was in, like, this, like, water playpen maze thing.

Like, you know, the tubes? Mm-hmm. And it was, like, but there was, like, a water thing. And I was little. I mean, I was, like, four years old, just turned four. Like, and I got lost, and I lost my brother, my cousin. And, like, I was, like, frantically, like, running, like, trying to figure out where the exit was. And, like, I just remember panic sitting in.

Anyway, and then as soon as I was about to hit my limit of like, then I found the exit. So, anyway, and the second time was when I told my mom we were going on this bridge and we were like approaching like a really big crowd. And my mom like went to hold my hand. And I was like, I'm a big girl. And what do you think? What do you think happened fucking four seconds later? Uh-huh. And so scary.

Anyway, I had a good loss and found and I was crying. But I was only lost for like, I don't know, three minutes maybe. I think Sesame Place is like, they're prepared for that shit. It's probably the longest three minutes of your life though. So anyway, so the next day, the next morning I woke up and I went downstairs because I was so thirsty. And I went downstairs and grabbed him in the kitchen. I had a grape drink. The purple stuff from the Sunny D commercials.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. In a sesame place like thermos in the fridge. And that is the memory of this drink that I'm drinking here. Cool story, babe. So like what is it though? It's grape. It's grape something. Final answer.

Honey, it is sparkling white grape juice. Wait, really? Yes, it is. Shut up. Yes, good job. Oh my God. Yes. I'm impressed. I'm very impressed because you kind of nail that one. Wow. Holy fuck. Are you impressed with my four-year-old brain? A little bit like that that's this beverage took you to a place. Yes. 30 plus years ago. How phenomenal.

My thirst has never been quenched more than that morning. Oh. Like I don't remember ever being thirstier than that morning that waking up and like going downstairs and it, oh, sorry. My birthday is at the end of June. I'll be cancer. And so it would have been like summertime. But it was like before. anybody else in the house woke up. So it probably would have been like the five o'clock hour-ish, whatever time the sun rises. Because it was like just getting light out. And then I had to like sneak back to bed. Anyway, come down to Sesame Place. I don't remember the song.

Yeah, that's not it. Come down to Sesame Place. I don't know. Are you trying to say like, won't you tell me how to get to Sesame Street? But I think they had their own tune for Sesame Place. Oh, now that I'm not familiar with because I don't have any childhood memories of Sesame Place. We never went there. Honey, guess what you're about to eat right now?

Throw out those arms. This one's got a spoon. Okay. Okay. And it's already on the spoon. So just carefully lift that to your beautiful mouth. And tell me, what is that? She's thinking.

She's thinking very hard. She looks like a pirate with this fucking bandana thing over her head and eyes. She looks like the pirate king from the princess bride. if you want a visual. I don't know what that is. You don't know what you just had? It tastes sweet, but that's all I know. Fascinating.

Fascinating. Okay. All right. Yeah, walk us through it. So it's sweet. What's the texture? Creamy. Okay.

She's having another bite. Yeah, here's an ice cream. Okay. Maybe like pie? Pie? Is that your final answer? A type of pie maybe? What kind of pie?

She's really thinking. It reminds me of like this jello pie that we make at Thanksgiving time where it's cream cheese whipped cream bottom with pumpkin on top. Mmm. And it's one of my favorite dishes. One year I accidentally didn't whip, like, didn't whip the cream cheese enough. Oh, no.

And so there were just chunks. Oh, no. So is this? There were just chunks of cream cheese in this pumpkin pie. Oh, God, Aaron. You'd like eat into this thing. You're expecting to be, like, super sweet. And it'd be like, tart all of us.

Nope. No, I'm going to throw up. So is that what you're eating? Are you eating pumpkin pie with chunks of cream cheese not properly whipped? Is that your final answer? Can I tell you? Yeah, I don't, pie. I don't know.

Yeah, it's caramelized banana gelato. Huh. Yeah. Yeah. I don't taste any caramel. How about banana? Any banana in there? I was thinking pumpkin, actually.

That's fucking wild. That's fucking wild. No. So part of me is. thinking maybe it was like was it cinnamon that I was tasting that like I was what like where did my brain taste to them pick up on do you know what I mean of course like where were you think yeah like where did that take you or where did your brain take you but yeah it's something that i would like thanksgiving and pie you're kind of on the right track I mean like pumpkin pie banana pie I don't know

what color is that it was um off white with streaks of like um you know brown like caravan Okay, so it's not yellow or like a tingey of yellow? Let me see. Did it smell like banana? It smells more like caramel than banana. Was it Talentee brand? Private selection gelato. Private selection isn't, I don't, I don't know.

I feel like that's store brand. Is it like Ralph's? Yeah. Maybe it's Ralph's brand. Yeah, I'm unfamiliar with it. So. Okay. Because I was going to say the ice cream subreditors are not pleased with Talenti.

I'm sure they're not. I'm sure they voice their opinions quite loudly. recently. Oh, good. Well, any subscribers of R-slash ice cream, please feel free to, feel free to weigh in. Let us know your thoughts on banana gelato. Aaron, outstretch your arms for me. I got a beverage for you with a straw, okay? A nice room-temp warm beverage for you. What's funny is that I drink room-temperature beverages all day. I... That is true, so why are you so... I don't know. I don't know. I think it's...

it up, Aaron. I think it's the mystery of it and how you keep feeding me milk. The mystery beast of it all. She took a sip. Oh, she hates it. She's shaking her head and hissing like a cat. Oh, she hates it. That's horrible. Really? Horrible. That's, I am, okay. What's horrible about it? What do you not like about the beverage? It's sour. Sour. It's sour. Really? All right. Then what sour beverage should I give you, Aaron? Oh, I hate it so much. You probably give me fucking prime. I don't hate you that much, honey. Prime is, guys, listen, not sponsored.

Never have I ever had Prime. You haven't? No. So we got gifted last year some, I don't, what are they fucking called? Not like Prime drinks, yeah. Not Lunchables. Oh, God. Yeah, what was that?

Whatever the Not Lunchables are called. Beastable. I don't know what they call that. I don't know what they call that, yeah. And I ate them because Jack wouldn't. And I am a curious motherfucker. Oh my God Prime is hideous first off the packaging is ass okay like you open up this box the whole box is 10 pounds we're talking like these are for children I didn't know that that's funny like these are for fucking children so you think about it and it's like okay usually you get a lunchebles you get a caprice sun it's packaged in like fucking tinfoil right this is plastic like hard plastic like you're got a miniature gator it's fucking 10 pounds so it weighs down the whole package also all of the packaging is like

Like for all of the three different boxes that we got or like meals or whatever we got, all of the like plastic packaging is like the same in that, let's say you get like the pizza. Right. And like, but then you compare it to the ham and cheese little ritz crackers or whatever. They're the same shape even though all of the crackers and ingredients are different sizes and different shapes. So like you open up the ritz cracker one and they're all just swimming around. No. Yeah, it's horrible.

No. I mean, maybe they've fixed it, but, guys, a year, whatever ago. Yeah, yeah, that was around like, yeah. It was trash. It was trash. So this, okay, this reminds you of prime from the... I don't even want to take another tip of this. Whatever this is, I hate it.

Really? It's disgusting. It's sour. I don't like it. Do you want to know what it is? Yes. This is black cherry flavored sparkling ice. What's sparkling ice?

Sparkling ice. Oh, that's not shit to use the drink. Yes. Oh, it's horrible. It's very sweet. Oh, I hate it. It's a very sweet, like bottled soft drink. No, I don't like that. Awful. Very sweet. Did it taste sweet to you? You said sour. It was very sour. Really? Let me, hold on. I don't know that it goes bad like that, Jack. It's horrible. You got the rona, baby. You think that's good? Yeah. I actually think that's delicious. I don't drink it anymore, but I used to have, like, I would treat myself to one sparkling ice every day. And that was my, like, my little thota treat. That was like my little dinner thing. Like, it's horrible. I've been good. I'm going to have a sparkling ice because they're very, very, very sweet. No, that was very, very sour. They put whatever chemical, like sucralose or I don't know, like whatever makes it crazy sweet. And that was my little guilty pleasure. But Aaron is wrong. So, honey, I got another beverage for you. Stick out your hands. Feel for the straw that's pointed to you. Okay. And give that a little two-toes-up sip.

A real Aaron is the funny one sip. All right. I wish I could show you listeners what I'm looking at. It's very funny. She has her nose pinched. Looks like a fucking pirate with this bandana over her head. I don't know what that is. It's a soda. This is very funny to me. It's a soda.

Okay. That's, that's it. I'm shocked that you, this is, can I tell you what it is? Sure. It's cherry coke. It's the same cherry Coke that. I was going to say Diet Coke, maybe. No, cherry Coke, baby.

Really? Yeah. Yeah, no idea. Fucking wild. I can tell it's a soda by the, it's like, it's like, not the same texture as water. and it's also bubbly. Yeah. Like soda just has a different texture than like LeCroix or something.

Yeah, fair enough. Fair. But this is like the cherry Coke that you have, you know, regularly. Oh, yeah. Nope. No idea. Damn. Your taste sucks, dude.

YTS, babe. Nothing. I'm, yeah, she took another sip. Nothing. Fucking wild. I mean, I can tell it's soda. Even with your nose, you can't taste that is cherry Coke. Can you smell it?

Nothing. I am bewildered. So your taste is very like haphazard right now. Sometimes you're like, oh, I know exactly what that is and you're right. And then you can't fucking tell of this like regular ass beverage that you have with some frequency. I think it's like, well, I don't know because I could taste, I could taste like chocolate and coffee. And I knew sour. Yeah, I don't know.

What if I have that thing that people get when they like, they get like their as morphia or whatever? And like it like messes with their like all of a sudden coffee smells like garbage to them. Oh no. I know what you're talking about. Or like, so what if that happens in my taste? Like that house episode. Oh, no, Aaron. I don't think that'll happen to you because it didn't happen to me.

And I lost my sense of taste. Oh, right. So whatever happens you can't, like, that's what's going to happen. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. I'm trying to help. I'm trying to comfort you, honey. I'm trying to let you know that I don't think you have anything to worry about because

none of my preferences changed post COVID. And I was like severely like worse than you in terms of taste. Like I had, I could not. I mean. Yeah. Listeners, you remember, Aaron did that very cruel tasting test on me, and it was abysmal. Like, I had nothing left. All right, honey, I have one final frozen thing for you.

Love it. Okay? And then we have a gauntlet of some liquids left. No. The liquids are the scary ones. You're funny. Frozen are fun because I know it's ice cream. All right.

I had some on the spoon. I can already hear it fell off. There you go. All right. That's a big one. Be careful, honey. All right, this is item number 11 of 14. What is that?

What is that, Aaron? You'll never get this. Oh, she's raising a finger at me in Defiance. Like, well? It's like a popsicle. A popsicle? It's not sweet, like, it's not soft like ice cream. Oh, really?

Mm-mm. You think it has the texture of a popsicle? Definitely has a texture of a popsicle. Fascinating. Intriguing. Couldn't tell you the flavor. Really? Not a clue.

Okay, can I tell you? Sure. You're right. It is like a popsicle that I, like, chopped up. and threw in a cup with a spoon. It's those mango fruit bars that we've had in our freezer for a while. Oh, that tastes great. With like real fruit, like made with real fruit.

But like just listeners are so you know, it just think of like a wide popsicle. Like, what do you even call those? Like the wide. Wait, didn't I stop eating them because they have spicy in them? Oh my God, you totally did. Or one of those flavors. Yes, that's real. Wait, shit.

I don't taste any spice. Amazing. That's kind of cool. That's what we should have done. Fuck, we should have done like, we should have bought the hot ones like spices and And, you know what I mean? The bomb. The bomb.

Right. The, of course, I can't think of them now. We should have given you those. Hot sauces. Hot sauces. I literally couldn't think of the word. That's the post-COid fog. I've been having since.

This is pretty good. Yeah, you like that? You like the mango bar? Couldn't tell you what, like, what flavor was? Except it was, I knew it was a popsicle because of the texture. What are you saying? It's good. You can't even taste anything, you idiot.

It didn't. It didn't offend me. Like your fucking warm-ass fucking milk. Is that what the bar is? If it doesn't offend you, it's good. Yes. At this point, yes. Like, especially considering yesterday, I couldn't even look at food without being like,

so I'm like, hey, I'll eat that. That tastes fucking pleasant. Especially better than the fucking 2% milk, cows milk that you've been feeding me that's warm. It's been left out overnight. My God. He's a joke. How cheese day? All right, hey, honey.

I got three final beverages. All right. Here's item number 12 for you. There's a straw pointed to you. Okay. Take a little sip of that and tell us what you think. What does Aaron think of this? What did I just give you?

I don't like, why do you keep feeding me thick liquids? Fucking gross. This is the Mr. Beast thing again. Oh my God. Yeah, it's just Mr. Beast again. It's fucking nasty. So you nailed that.

So you can recognize. I still have like nerve endings in my mouth, bro. I can taste like how thick liquids are. Yeah, but honey, your taste is very inconsistent. They're very, it's warm. You're feeding me warm milk. You couldn't tell cherry Coke.

Well, I don't know what to tell you that. Yeah, hold out your arms. I got, I got penultimate one right here. Disgusting. And see how well you do. Hold on. Now I've got Mr. Beast milk in my fucking mouth. Yeah, I said it.

That couldn't be taken out of context at all. He wishes. Jesus. Hi, Jimmy. Aaron is cleansing your palate with some Murphy Goods, Chardonnay. Still nothing. Which tastes like nothing to her.

All right. She's stirring the straw. She's contemplating. She's pinching your nose. She is bravely about to take her penultimate sip. What is she sipping? Oh, that's water. Is that your final answer?

Yes, that's water. Yeah, it's water. Good for you. It has a texture. I can tell the texture of water. I knew I could get you to drink water one of these days. All of the things you've been feeding me all have these different textures that I feel like I can pick up on.

Like, for the most part. I couldn't tell orange juice versus Gatorade, but like, it's the same thing, sort of. It kind of is, yeah. But your taste is off, so you're wrong. Honey, this is it. This is the final item. It's one last drink. It's not Mr. Beast.

Chocolate milk. Okay. Okay. I swear to fucking God. If you feed me. She's so mad. I'm going to throw it across the room and make you clean it up. Please don't.

Okay, she doesn't like it. It's like milk again. Why do you keep feeding me? Milk. It's not real. What is it? It's milk. It's not milk. It's like chocolate milk. It's not chocolate milk. Hazelnut milk? What the fuck is? I don't know. Are you ready? Wait, no. I don't like it though. Okay, I'll take it. I'll take it. Is it milk? No. Does it have the consistency of milk? Sure. What is it? What is? Sure. What is it? What? Really? Yeah. Oh, I was the coffee creamer that we use. Oh! Hazelnut. And you were right. It is hazelnut. Oh my God. What? Really? Yeah. Oh, I was just. just like thinking of things that were kind of like chocolate, which was like Nutella. That's our hazelnut coffee creamer, baby.

That's so funny. I was just thinking of Nutella, which is like hazelnut. So I was like, ew. I hate you. I hate this. So what did we learn? We learned that you're a fucking mean husband. We learned that your sense of taste is, your loss of the sense of taste is wildly inconsistent.

A little. Because you would ace it and then you'd be like, I've never had this before. and it's something you have like daily interesting very interesting oh thank you for um undergoing that experiment with me honey which one impressed you the most which one impressed me um honestly the uh sparkling white grape juice you fucking nailed that that was pretty cool that was a core memory of mine because i i did not know like i knew you'd get that it was sparkling i thought you'd say like oh maybe it's champagne i don't know and you're like no dude fuck you that's grape juice and it reminded me because i have that core memory you have a whole story for it yeah

Yeah, I don't think I would have guessed it if I didn't have that pang some weird memory in my head, honestly. Honey? No. No. No. Wait. Now. Okay.

Fine. Well, hold on. I mean, like... What season is it, Jack? I actually have no idea. You don't even know. What horoscope season is it today? Do you know what I heard?

Actually, wait. Today? Today is... We're still in Virgo season. Wait, really? Yeah. Like, next Tuesday's horoscope is a Virgo? Oh, next Tuesday.

Hold on. Let me think about this. What's today's eight? The 17th. Oh, no, we'll be in Libra season. Are you sure? I'm like pretty sure. When does Libra season start?

On or around September 21st. And if today's the 17th. Yeah, yeah. No, you're right. Yeah, you're right. It'll be Libra season. Okay. All right.

Aaron, do you have a Libra horoscope in you? We've talked about this. We've talked about how I have a love, hate, with Libras. Okay? My most loved are Libras. My biggest fallouts have been with Libra's. Libra's. It is like a love hate between me and Libra's. Not hate. There's only one I really, really hate. And that's because he was a cheating motherfucker and a pathological liar. But it is

interesting. I have so many special people in my life that are Libra's and have a special place in my life. Anyway, what was the question? Do you have a horoscope in you? Like I'm just trying to prime up the next segment. Do I have a heart? That's so funny. Actually, that reminds me of something. And like, did you realize we like barely, we fucking just skipped right over fucking Virgo season. We were like, we were like,

uh, fuck that. Maybe this could, could this also be for some of the Virgoes out there? Um, I don't think Libra's like sharing very much. All right. Well,

then that's fine. This is just for the Libras. Not a goddamn thing, dude. You don't know anything about Libra's. Aaron, I don't know any of the traits and characteristics of any of the horoscopes. I don't know any of any of the horoscopes.

I don't know any. any of the compatibilities or lack thereof between different signs. You know, like, oh. You don't know about anything about what cancers are supposed to be? Because it's not fucking real. No, I don't. No, for real that you don't know anything about what like we as cancers are supposed to be. Here's what I do know about cancers.

We're emotional. We have tough exteriors but soft insides much like a crab. I once met a girl. Is that, is that right though? I think so. Okay. That's all I know about any of the signs. I think we're very protective of people.

We're supposed to be homebodies. And while I'm kind of a homebody, I wasn't always a homebody. Yeah, that's true. Yeah. So I don't know. Honey, fuck this noise. Can you help me with this Libra horoscope? Sure.

God damn, thank you. Wait, who should I do it with in mind? A good Libra or a bad Libra? Hmm. Are you a good Libra or are you a bad Libra? I think you'll come to that conclusion once we start. One of the things we did in Vegas, maybe while I got COVID. was we went and saw the Wizard of Oz at the sphere.

Are you a good Libra? Are you a bad Libra? Honestly, I kind of loved it. I kind of loved. Jack cried. Jack cried. He cried. He cried. It was good.

I really liked it. And I did cry. No regrets. Aaron, I need you to help me with this horoscope, okay? Okay. Give me, that is appropriate. So I wrote this like weeks ago. This has nothing to do with a fucking taste test, but this is funny.

And I wrote this well before I knew you had COVID. Give me an adjective you would describe for peanut butter pretzels, assuming you had taste. Are they chocolate covered? Of course. Of chocolate covered peanut butter pretzels? Yeah. Are they in ice cream? No, no, no, they're just in chocolate.

What's an adjective you would describe these peanut butter pretzels? I didn't think this would be so hard. If I called them Take Five Alicia, would you understand the reference? Yes. You would? Yes. What's the Take Five? What do I mean by that?

Take Five is a wonderful candy bar. Oh my God. The most underrated. candy bar ever of all time. Just writing that down, delicious. Okay. Not sponsored,

but should be. Oh my God. Yeah, yeah, all you. Rees is come find me. I'm a big fan. Biggest fan, actually. If you subscribe to the R slash take five,

you'll love this episode. Fucking loser. Hey, Aaron, what's an adjective you'd use to describe wine? Smooth. Love it. Love it. Love it.

I can't really use the taste. Smooth works. Description. Family. member relation, like family, familiar relation. Like, grand uncle. Perfect. That's really, you're very proud of yourself for that one.

Hi, grand uncle. Erin. Yes. What's the first name of someone you went to middle school with? Just the first name. Guy. He was my first boyfriend. And no, no, don't need a story.

Just GUI. He was super cute. Okay. We never kissed. I don't need, we may have held hands, but we definitely didn't kiss. Aaron. Yeah. Give me a physical description.

Shapeless. Perfect. Give me the first name of your second kiss. Do you remember? Oh my, Jack. I literally just told you this story. Remember I had a dream about him? Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Asher, bro. Just let's not docks them. Just Asher. And we made out. He pushed me up against a fence. at Grassland Park. Damn.

Because he had a crush on me, but I didn't really have a crush on him, but I was really nervous because my first kiss was like not like a real kiss. And then I had been over a year since it. Then you got a real fucking kiss. And then he was like, I'll kiss you.

And I was like, well, and I remember I was like, okay, but you have to kiss her first. And he was like, okay. And then they just started making out. And I was like, oh no. Like, no, I'm nervous. Oh, Ash was a bad boy.

Asher was just, Asher wanted to kiss me. Asher wanted to kiss me, bang. That's pretty cool. Bigly, okay? That's pretty cool. And then he pushed me up against the fence and we made out and it was a great kiss. That sounds like a great kiss. It was a great kiss.

And that was like my awakening of like, ooh, I think I like this. Aaron, before you get too hot and bothered, give me another physical descriptor. Your last one was shapeless. It doesn't have to be related. I'm just giving you a reference because you're kind of dumb. What's a physical descriptor? Tossiled? Sure.

Or stubbly? Like stubble? Stubble? Yeah, stubbly. Okay. Stub, B-L-E-Y? Stubly? I would say S-T-U-B-B-L-Y.

B-L-Y. Let's do that. That's funny. Hey, Aaron, give me the last name of a celebrity you love. Oh, I'm so disappointed by so many these days. And this should be easy. No, in fact, it's not. It makes it that much harder.

Because this will live for ages. And fucking five years from now. They get canceled. We all suck. Right. We all suck. The last name. Yes.

The last name. What? She's like giggling to herself. What? Fulmer. Aaron. I give him figure out another one. No, no.

Do you want me to use Fulmer? I'll use Fulmer. Fuck it. Who cares? I'm a big fan of Ariel. Aaron, give me a nickname. you call me when you're mad. This past Saturday night I was yelling at your ass.

Because you don't understand what it's like to be a woman. So what's a nickname? Fuckface. Fuckface works. It keeps auto-correcting Fulmer to Foller. And I keep saying that's not right. That's not right. Give me one final physical descriptor.

Physical, like if I'm describing a human? Yes. Any part of a human? Yes. Or a cat? Sure. A cartoon cat? That's sure, honey.

Bouncy. I love it. Love it. Do you know what cat I'm thinking of? Tigger? Tigger. That's a very bouncy cat. He's a bouncy cat.

Did we ever figure out if Piglet was a boy or a girl? I don't think so. And Aaron, why should it matter? That's true. Hey, honey, give me a toy you remember from your childhood. Teddy Ruxpin. Love it. Love it.

Is that R-U-X-I-N or B-I-N? I think it's R-U-X-E-N? It could be. B-I-N. I don't know. Or we could do the skip-it. Skip-it works. Or my size Barbie.

Let's do skip it. Let's do skip it. Skip it's nice and specific. Okay. Aaron, what's an adjective you would use to describe the show and just like that? Hmm. Desperate. Wait, you have no idea how perfect that is.

And then finally, what's an adjective you'd use to describe Samantha from sex and the city. I know what the low-hanging fruit is here. Sure. And you can go there. Girl bossy. That actually works surprisingly well. Okay.

Let me give this a once-over. Okay. Aaron, are you ready to dole out this week's horoscope to all of the Libra's out there? All of them? Or just the good ones or just the bad ones? Take your pick. Bad ones. Okay.

To all the bad Libras. To all the bad Libra's. Fuck your horoscope. I'm here to dish out some take a five-licious goss and smooth tea, grand uncle. Remember Guy from middle school? Yeah? She got shapeless. No way.

And remember Asher from gym class? No. Bitch, he got stubbly. No way. Good for him. And you remember Mrs. Fulmer, right? Mm-hmm. Ooh, fuck face.

That girl got mad bouncy. What does that mean? I'm just kidding. She died in 20. 22. No. That's not funny. No.

I'm not laughing. It's when it all went down. What happened? It was a freak skipit accident. Oh, no. Awful. Her funeral was desperate. Beautiful service.

Anyway, I gotta go take a huge dump. Mama's girl bossy. Her funeral was desperate. That's so mean. That is, well, I mean, if you knew her, it wasn't that mean. Oh, yeah. Yeah. It was like kind of part for the course a little bit.

Damn. Yeah. You're so girl bossy, much like Samantha from Sex. So next week, let's do a horoscope for the good Libra's. Okay. We can do that. We can make that happen. Again, sorry for last week's episode, but Megan's a good friend of mine.

If you couldn't tell, if you were able to listen in, I don't want to do this. But if you do have an interest in listening to the episode, you can subscribe to our podcast on Patreon. the episode is still up there. Otherwise, next time we do choose to do a toxic gossip train of thought. Yes. We will double triple, quadruple check to make sure that... The source is okay with it.

The source is okay with it, even though we did do that. But there were some extenuating circumstances that just changed the game here. But anyway, wish me luck in getting rid of my COVID. Wish me luck in getting rid of my husband. I can't wait to hear from you guys this week. please keep calling and texting into the hotline. I love hearing from you all. Send me your pet pictures. They're very fun, especially if you got like birds, hamsters, ferrets. Oh my. Possums, you, you name it. I love to see it. Can't wait to hear from you guys soon. Hopefully next time

we talk, I don't have COVID. That'd be nice. So next time, haters. Bye.