Erin is the Funny One - Grab Bag Episode They Talk About Everything

Episode Date: January 11, 2026

OH BOY! In this week's episode, Jack and Erin start off strong with more mystery drinks from their cocktail advent calendar. Then they debate if they're good people, rate Christmas movies, swap horror stories about awful bosses when they were interns, and then somehow go MORE off the rails discussing various shows and movies. Buckle up and grab your drink of choice! Shop Mint Unlimited Plans at https://MintMobile.com/ERIN. Limited time offer. Upfront payment of: $45 for 3-mo., $90 for 6-mo., or $180 for 12-mo. plan req’d ($15/mo. equiv.). Taxes & fees extra. Initial plan term only. >35GB may slow when network is busy. Capable device req'd. Availability, speed, & coverage varies. See mintmobile.com. Follow Erin and Jack on Instagram:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/2toesup/?hl=en⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/jacksfilms/?hl=en⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ To watch Erin Is The Funny One on YouTube: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/@jackisanerd⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast for free wherever you're listening or by using this link: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://bit.ly/erinisthefunnyone Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Oh, happy holidays. Welcome to Aaron is the funny one. Hi, I'm Jack. Who are you? I am Aaron. Ew. Also, the ghost from Christmas, future present and past. I'm omnipresent, bitch.

Let's go. You're all the presents? Actually? Actually. Omnipresent and all the presents. My presents is the present. Damn straight. You're a real gift.

to the world. Aaron, you know what it's time for? It's time for a drink of the week. The 12 nights of cocktails who always did right by me. I don't know. She's riffing. Oh, no, she's riffing.

Guys, we haven't actually touched our advent calendar since the last week. I've actually been dying to open more doors. We still have only, we have 10 more windows to open and so little time. We're saving this advent calendar, this cocktail advent calendar, just for the podcast. And for those who did not tune in last time, it's an advent calendar, Aaron picked up. It's called the 12 nights of cocktails

from a brand called Straightaway, not sponsored, unfortunately. And it's randomized so that there are 12 doors and behind each door is a canned cocktail, but you don't know what you're opening until you open it. And they give you a list of all of the cocktails it could be.

Last week, Aaron picked out for me in old fashion to drink. It was wonderful. And I had a golden degroni. All right, we're going to manifest. We're going to try to manifest. Yeah, what are you hoping for, honey? I kind of want to try the Thai gimlet because it sounds interesting.

The Thai gimlet, okay. Vodka, lime juice, coconut, Thai chili, galangol, and tamarind. I would also not be displeased with the cosmos, which I tried to manifest as well last week. You did. What do you want? I'll take a fucking Mai Tai. I'm a simp for a good Mai Tai. I want anything except the margaritas. just because I'm a little bitch and sometimes it gives me heartburn.

Oh, it does. Yeah. Well, how about this? If you draw or if I draw the margarita for you, maybe I'll stomach it. Yeah. And then whatever you pick, that's. Perfect. That's yours.

All right. Let's do that. All right. I'm going to pick. Unless it's the Mai Tai. That shit's mine. Aaron's opening the door. I'm not cheating.

I'm not looking. And it's very cleverly made. Like, you really don't know what you're picking until you draw it out. And everything's canned and these tiny little like half cans. Okay. Like less than half. half a can of soda. I'm not like super mad at this.

Okay. Is this for me or for you? I don't know yet. Oh shit. I don't know yet because it turns on what you pick. Okay. All right. So you're kind of mixing up the rules on me.

If you pick something that I don't want, then this is for me. Okay. Wait, if I pick out something that you don't want. Yes. But if I want what you get, then I'm going to get it. That's fair. No peeking, you little perv. Okay.

Okay. Can I tell you something? I'm going to tell you something. What? I'm not sure you'll want it. Is it a margarita? It might be a margarita. Oh, wow.

That's funny. I got an espresso martini. Do you want it? I'm not mad at it. I would rather have this than that. Let me give you a nice chill of espresso martini. Thank you. Yeah.

Can you taste that and review it on stream while I make my margarita? Absolutely. All right. So in this nitro espresso martini is vodka, stumped down cold brew. a company coffee liqueur. So pretty straightforward. Sometimes they have baillies in them. Sometimes they've got cream or something. This one is coffee, coffee, coffee. I'm assuming a company, a company, a company, I don't know, whatever. I'm assuming it's Kalua-esque. Do a Kalua in a cocktail. Wow. Tastes like coffee. Good to me.

Does it taste strong? It tastes like strong coffee. Okay. But I don't taste any bit of alcohol in here. Like if this were, if somebody serves this to me as morning coffee, I wouldn't think twice about it. Really? Yeah. I'd be like... Thanks for the coffee. Yeah. So you can have some of that. Cheers me, baby. And also, you want to try this margarita? Yes. But first, we have to take a sip because otherwise it's bad luck. Speech. It's pretty good margarita. It's 50 proof. Mine's 40. That's a margarita. Yeah, right? Okay. Yay. This is fun. This is the best admin calendar I've ever had. But I do, I really do like that you don't know what you're opening up until you do it, until you commit to a door.

You know that that's usually what advent calendars are all about, right? You don't know what you're opening up until you open them. Shut up, Aaron. I'm just saying that that's, that is kind of the advent of the advent calendar. Welcome aboard via rail. Please sit and enjoy. Please sit and stretch. Steep.

Flip. Or that and enjoy. Via Rail, love the way. Okay, let me rephrase my clumsy wording, okay? What I really like about this is the variety of cocktails, because it could be a margarita. It could be an old-fashioned. It could be a fucking espresso martini or a ngroni.

I like the range, I suppose. It's truly unpredictable. Like, ooh, I don't know. He-he. Ha-ha. Anyways, I recommend it. It's not too late. I guess.

Yeah. It's never too late. Shit. Why wait till Christmas to have a fun cocktail? Um, Advent calendar. Menagerie. Menagerie, exactly. A menagerie of cocktails.

Absolutely. A menagerie twelf of cocktails. Escape the cocktail room. Yeah. Like escape. Like an escape room? Yeah. You have to drink your way out.

You have to drink your way out. You have to open all these doors. Wait. Honey. trillion dollar idea, that's it. Escape the cocktail room. Yeah, you have to get blasted out of your mind.

Because what I'm saying is like... And figure out how to get out of... Right. Or, or... Because you know how like, if you're doing like an escape room, I feel like you and me, we agree in like, if we're doing an escape room either with our... Usually with ourselves or someone, like another party or some other people, you want to pregame me. You want to go to a bar or whatever.

And then you do the escape room. do drinks after, right? Whatever. What if the escape room had like the whole bar experience where like, you can't leave this room until someone does a shot of this or like two people do a shot of that. Malort. Malort. Right. But they're like, I feel like if we marry the two. I just got goosebumps. Like in shivers. I literally just shivers. I'm just, I think there's an ironic and not so ironic thing there. escape the cocktail room. Anyways, we'll move on. That could be fun, though.

I would do it. I would do it in a heartbeat. I wish you were more creative. That way you could actually like... That's so artful. Figure out. I wish I were more creative too, honey. Oh, well.

At least we have the girl that works in insurance to be able to... You have your moments. Be the creative one. You actually have your creative moments that piss me off sometimes. Like, damn it, that's actually a really good idea. You don't. What are my... Can I have an example?

No, you may not. I would like to hear an example. Don't put me on the spot, sweetheart. I feel like you're lying then. I'm not lying. I just can't. Oh, you're really putting me on the spot for that. Okay, to be fair, the hotline was my idea.

Yeah. That was my idea. Career day was your fucking brainchild. Which we still haven't done. No, but we're doing like trinkets of it. We're doing. I've started, I've started to create like a list. I've got a short list.

You're actually annoyingly creative when it comes to the horoscopes. Am I? Yeah, both writing them. I'm a word smith? You're a bit of a word smith. You are. You're very well read. I'm not decently good at writing emails.

You are. Sometimes I come to you. I'm like, how do I write this? You know what? What's one word? We've talked about this before, but one word that is now imprinted in my, like, text language that is spelled incorrectly that I can't get on, like. What's that? Embarrassing.

It's in your, like, in your iPhone. I've written it the wrong spelling so many times. Oh, God. That it's now, that's how it's spelled and it's wrong. To be fair, that's a hard word to spell. It's a hard word. And I can't, like, I'm not even being like condescending. I think I use one R and I think it should.

I think there are two. And then two S's and sing. Embarrassing. Yeah. Yeah. I think so. But you think it's, I'm sorry. I forgot how many hours.

I think it's supposed to be two. And I use one or vice versa. So it's like Mississippi. It's two R's two S's. Well, Jack, I just said, it's either one or the other. And I don't know. which one it is. All I know is that it's,

all I know is that it's misspelled in my, like, text dictionary or like whatever. Oh, really? And you're like, yes, when I type it out,

it then changes it. Yes, like, you know how when they usually change it to what it's supposed to be? Yours is the other way? Yes. That's awful.

The same way if I tried to type the word duck, yeah. It now knows to change it to fuck. That's funny. Because I've said the word fuck so many times. Because you're such a sailor when it comes to your cursing. Listen, I like two things.

I like shardinate and I like cursing. Okay. Darn straight, darn tootin. Otherwise, I try to be a good person. Do you? I'm not trying that hard. I do. What was the last thing that you did that made you feel like I'm a good person?

Hmm. Been a couple of half decades. Let's see. Honestly, I like, I literally can't. I can't think of one for you. I can't think of it. Evil. Evil.

Yeah. I'm sure there's something. I bought a gift. unprompted for a friend of mine. And I was like, I saw this. It made me think of you. And I bought it for her. What was the gift?

They were little earrings that had dogs that looked like her dog on them. That's really nice. That's classy. I mean, they were not expensive. I just was like, oh, my God, they're so cute. I have to get them. But I do, like, actual, I feel like, oh, you know what I do? You know what I do that makes me feel like a good person?

What? I get, like, karma points. You know at the airport when you're going through TSA? Yes. And you have to put your shit in those bins. Uh-huh. And then everybody just leaves their bins out when they leave. Oh, I always put mine away.

I always, no, I put mine and everybody else who has left them there. I am the girl that puts other people's shopping carts away, but it's in the airport line. So you're basically St. Breslin is what I'm hearing. I just, it makes me feel good about my, I go, St. Bruglis. I just helped somebody save a millisecond of their day. It is thoughtful. And maybe even a fraction of like anger.

That's very thoughtful. And you don't do shit. Well, you know what's, you know what, honey? I think I know why I'm having trouble thinking of it. It's because they don't keep Talley. And I just do so many. Right, right, right, right. I do so many good deeds.

Uh-huh. On a very frequent basis that I just, I can't, you know, wrap my mind about around the sheer volume of good deeds I do. Have you ever left shopping cart in the parking lot? No. I don't do that shit. Yeah, no. Guys, I need you to hear that.

this loud and clear. That's actually real. I don't do that shit. I need you hear this loud and clear. There's a test for that. If you do that, you need to think and you need to reflect. You need to, no, you need to find the nearest black hole and walk straight into it. You need to check yourself before you wreck yourself or I wreck you. Like, yeah, you'll get wrecked either way. That is the most selfish, psychotic behavior, if I'm being honest. Okay, so we were watching the new Knives Out movie earlier. And we had a fantastic time. And Jack made himself what he calls his Christmas cocktail.

You guys, if you know, you know, you know, peppermint, Godiva, vanilla room. Anyway, I swear to God, we're watching this Knives Out movie. And I look over and the whole cocktail is like gone. And I'm like, what the fuck? I love so much. He like fucking chugged it, right? I'm not even kidding. Guys, not that much time has passed in real life from when we poured ourselves these things.

and the margarita is almost gone. To be fair, I like margaritas far more than you do. So I'm like, what, what are we doing? Where'd it go? Life is so short. And I say, you know, why waste time at nursing cocktails, wonderful beverages and drinks? When we could chug them. When we could chug them, that's right.

Just like a long island. Way to take it full circle. That was great. This is, okay. Would you like some espresso martini? I saw that your margarita was gone. Hours ago. I actually would not.

Oh, are you scared? Well, because I'm not scared. Nothing scares me. Many things scare me. But the reason I don't want. You can't even deal with balloons. The reason I, yeah, that's a whole other story. That's an ick.

That is a nick. That is an ick. That I'll be honest. That's a little bit of a dick. The fact that you can't watch scary movies and you can't even face balloons. How the fuck am I supposed to believe that you will protect me when a robber comes into our house in the middle of the night? I never said I would.

It's fucking sad I never said I would Who do I have to defend me Just duck and cover Just go I'm invisible If I don't move they can't see No listen honey

I can't do your espresso martini Because we're recording this podcast At right now it's 10 of 10 p.m. On a Saturday I don't want caffeine in my body Jack film You know we're not going to bed

Until like 2 a.m. anyway I know earliest I know earliest. We're going to sit up and we're going to watch 500 days of summer. I'm going to make you watch it. I mean, you don't have to make me. I'm interested in rewatching that movie. She's such a bitch. Can we just talk about movies for the rest of this podcast? Sure. Okay. What else do you want to talk about it? What else did you see this year that came out this year that you have opinions on? Elio. No, you don't have opinions on Elio. We were drunk as shit for Elio. I have an opinion that you got too drunk and I was upset. Who saved your ass? You were upset? Yeah, I always get pissed when you drink too much. I'm sorry. Because it puts me out. Oh.

What's that from? What's that quote from? It puts me out. You put me out. Is that Saxon City? No. Is that Family Stone? Yes.

Well, tomato, it's both with, um, Carrie Bradshaw, aka Sargisdhawk. Well, but it's Rachel McAdams character who says it. You put me out. Right. You put me out. Right. Listeners, Family Stone is such a crucial Christmas movie for the two of us.

We have, talk about that. Let's talk about all the Christmas movies that we hold near and dear to our hearts. I love those. We're really just going on the fly. Jack had a whole agenda for me today and I was like, yeah, no, I don't want to do that. So I'm okay with just flying on autopilot. Okay, okay. But like we, we have, so love actually is up there. A Muppets Christmas Carol is so important for us. That's where Jack got his ho, ho, ho, ho from. The Ghosts of Christmas present. I don't know. Come in and know me, better man. I don't know if I got it from him. Did I already say that? It is, it is honestly like I had never, honestly, guys, I was never a big Muppets guy throughout my life.

This is the funniest Muppets movie ever. Hands down, hands down, I, this is the fun. A Muppets Christmas Carol is the funniest fucking Muppets movie ever. I've seen two Muppets movies. A Muppets Christmas Carol. And then the Muppets movie from like, I don't know, 2000. Eight, nine, ten, I don't know. The one with that guy who was in all the Judd-Apital movies and...

Oh, yeah, Jason Segal. Thank you. Yes. Yes, yes, yes. Who spent a significant amount of time in Philadelphia and at some point in time when he was filming something. Bear with me. But the tea that I got from a local, because there were a lot of local like, oh my God, I ran on Jason Seagel. He was at this pizza place.

I know, blah, blah, blah. Anyway, but he went to a bar with a girl and he's sober and he's been sober. And he got like a soda water or whatever and she got like a vodka soda or something. And he took one sip of it and realized, oh my God, I got the wrong drink. And then she was like, oh my God, I'm so sorry. And then he immediately pieced out. Right. Separated entirely.

He just left. They could have gotten married. They could have honestly. But yeah, Aaron, you introduced me to a Muppets Christmas Carol. genuinely I'd never seen that my entire life and a lot of my adult life until you introduced me to that movie like 10 years ago and now it's like a classic Christmas movie like my family they don't fucking watch it they don't fuck with the Muppets I gotta like let them know hey guys and they'll never watch it wait the kids would love it I think they would I think they would I have nieces nephews and I they would probably get a lot out of that but no you're never a big Muppets family what else is in our Christmas repertoire a lot of Hallmark movies We talk about Window Wonderland A few times But like what else?

Let's mix it up Let's make 12 dates of Christmas 12 dates of Christmas Starring Amy Smart And Mark Paul Gossler Is that the Say by the Bell guy? Yes Yeah

Okay One of the best Yeah Though I will say I do think during the movie Okay so it's about a woman Who Did you say this movie is one of the best

Yeah It's so good Are you fucking kidding me right now? You don't think it's so good It's a very Hallmark movie. No, it's not Hallmark though, Jack. It's ABC family.

What's the difference, Aaron? Are you kidding? I'm not. A higher production value and better plot. Are you kidding? Well, I just, I feel like the acting is a little all over the place. Amy Smart is a legit. She was in the butterfly effect.

She's good. She was in a road trip. Just some of the supporting cast. Yeah, road trip. She was in, she's been in a bunch of stuff recently. And Mark Paul Gossler, say by the bell. Say by the bell again. Say, Good morning, Miss Bliss or whatever.

Save by the Bell, the new class. Was he like some lawyer show? Yeah, he was in a bunch of shit. And he's so hot. That saves him. You're right. He's another guy. I probably wouldn't.

I wouldn't be. Oh, would you not approach him? I wouldn't. Because of how attractive he is to you? How do I explain this? I could make eye contact with him. But he's so out of my league. Like, so out of my league.

Like, he's so good looking. Did I ever tell you the first celebrity I think I ever met in real life was Ryder Strong from Boy Meets World? You've never told me that. Okay. I'm sorry. What? You've met Ryder Strong? Uh-huh.

Do you know that I follow that fucking podcast on TikTok? No, I did not know that. Danielle, whatever, official and, uh, will something or other. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And Ryder Strong. Yeah. How have you never told me this? Oh, I just, I don't know.

What's the story? Oh, just, no. there's no story I was just an awkward fuck in college I was so I interned for this horrible company in DC that like managed some film festival because the guy who ran it was just this oh just a slovenly piece of shit that like what's slovenly mean just like lazy he made me like go out and get McDonald's milkshakes for him um milkshakes yes for him correct or for multiple like no no no he's downing like three milkshakes that's downing like three milkshakes No, no, no, no. It was one at a time. But, like, I was his gopher guy.

What kind of milkshake did he like? Vanilla. He got a vanilla milkshake? Yeah. From McDonald's? Uh-huh. Large? Could have a medium.

I don't remember the size, but. Was that it? He didn't want fries. He didn't want a cheeseburger? I think I just got shakes for him. You got a shake at a time? Like, you were just like, I'm going to go for a walk and go get a shake for it? Yeah.

I didn't get me shit if I, quote, unquote, took too long because the nearest McDonald's wasn't anywhere near the fucking office. What is she dead? or something? Honestly, it was very... Wait, hold on. Wait, has she died or something? It was very Miranda Priestley of him.

It was very Miranda Priestley of him. Please move at a glacial pace. You know how that thrills me. This guy was a real piece of shit. Wait, what would he say to you if you were too long? Like, what would he say? It was like long wait or long lines, huh? Something like that.

Did you ever take a detour though? No. You went there and back. Yes. I was like... You never... You never... fucked around? Never wavered. No. You got the milkshick. Did you ever get anything for yourself? I don't think so. Did he

give you cash? He may have. I don't remember. Because this was like a lifetime ago. You have to remember. So like you weren't getting yourself anything. It was like I want one vanilla milkshake please. And then like I feel like I would have remembered if I got like, I made a little side of fries for myself. I don't remember doing that. I really don't. Did you drive your car there? I didn't have a car in DC. No, I did not. It was all like, Metro walking. Oh, you're just. like a metro there. Maybe he didn't know that. Maybe, but he was just a piece of shit. Um, so he, anyways, right or strong. I tried to defend men as much as I can. Clearly. Yeah. You're like really, uh, defending this guy. Mostly I'm just trying to make you evil. So that's all. I'm just

trying to make sure he's in the right. No, he like one time he like fucking yelled at me because yelled at you. Like raised his voice. Yeah. Like scale from one to 10. 10. Oh, really? Yes. As an intern. I had to go get like, like, coffees for some. It was like five in the morning. And we were hosting some news segment for some local station or whatever. And he's like, I need you to get five coffees. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

Like this is somewhere in a priesthood. This is like Starbucks order. I'm like, all right. Center of the sun hot. And so he gives me this whole order. And then he waits a second. And then he goes, now! I swear to God.

And so I go get his. What would you wear to work like jeans and shit? Why's that your question? Because I'm like, what's the office environment? Are we like formal? No. No, I'm not wearing like, no. There's no ties or anything.

Yeah, jeans and a t-shirt probably. Okay, okay. Yeah. But he was literally. I'm imagining you as a kid being like, don't go, don't go do. I was not that kid.

I was a go-getter. I'm like, those are my hungry college years, right? Like I'm hungry. Were you? I want to make something of myself. Yes. Yes.

So you weren't like... I hate this guy. And I couldn't tell you his name. You don't even know how... I think I've forgotten his face, but I just, I will never forget being yelled at. How can we keep a list of our enemies if we don't know their names or faces? Honestly, it's in his favor that I've forgotten him. This is, yeah, it is.

That's why we have to remember these people's names and faces. I haven't forgiven him, but I've also forgotten him. And I know this thing is forgive and forget, but in my case, it's forget. give or forget, and I have completely forgotten this fuck-ass dummy, but Do you remember the company name? Nope.

You don't even, so if you had a fucking resume? I could probably go through emails and shit, but like, hold on. The whole point of this was writer-strong. Oh, yeah. He, so silver lining, quote-unquote, is months after, this fuck-ass boss of mine,

has some like fucking rooftop party or whatever at his office. And I show, and I keep looking at this, like, what the guy looks like a fucking, this guy from Boy Meets World? That's so weird. You know, just from across the party. And then we make eye contact at some point. And that's when I realize, what the fuck?

That's the dude from Boy Meets World. That's Ryder Strong. And then somewhere on Facebook is a blurry selfie before there were selfies of me and Ryder Strong. This poor guy, he probably saw like this dumb, you know, kid, me, you know, eyeing him from like 30 feet away at this party, you probably thinking like, oh, Jesus, I have to take this picture with this kid. But he was very gracious.

We got a picture together. I don't think we said more than five words together, me and Ryder Strong. But I got nothing but love for the man. Okay. Fuck that boss forever. I can't believe you can't remember. But Ryder Strong is okay in my book. I wonder if we could back into remembering who that is because you know me.

I'll find it. I have a personal list of enemies. that I will forever hold dear to my heart. I don't have a lot of enemies. I have, he's in my top five. Here's the thing. My enemies don't know they're my enemies. Sure.

But I keep tabs on them. Yeah, yeah, yeah. To make sure that they never encumber my circle. That's a good way to go through life, Aaron. Yeah, it's protective. I'm a cancer. We have a very hard shell. Though it's funny because, like, I was with my old coworker last night.

and she was we were talking about how she has always said I'm way too open to people and that I get burned too much because I don't treat my uh well how does she she always says like you need to treat your energy and time and like how open you are to people like you don't act like a VIP club and you need to act like a VIP club that's how she treats that's an interesting way to put it yeah she's like she's very much a I'm going to be pretty not cold but like keep you at arm's length until you prove to me that I don't need to. Whereas I am usually the person that I'm like. You're much warmer.

I'm friends with everybody until you show me that, oh, I need to hate you. Right. So, but maybe I should open this VIP club up and shut down a lot of people. Well, I think it's just knowing when to say no. And I don't. And that's easier said than done. I'm very bad with boundaries. that's all very hard thing to master honestly.

I don't know if you have to be so picky and cold. Like the VIP club, that is one way to do it. But I fear that could close more doors than it opens. So I don't know. I feel like just knowing your boundaries, knowing when to say no. But again,

that's a fucking, that takes a lifetime of master like a fellow. Okay, wait. Can I tell you about my boss when I was an intern? Yeah. Okay. Intern where?

Well, I can't say the company name. No, you can't. No, it was a test and you passed. What's interesting? is that the company that I interned at has since merged with another company. So the company that I interned at isn't even the name of the company anymore. But it merged with the company

that I started my career at. Right. So and that that happened well after I worked at either place. So where I worked as an intern for two summers and then where I started my career for three and a half years or whatever. They are now the same company. The merger happened after I left. Anyway, let me tell you about my boss because it's spicy. It's tea. T-O-A. Okay? You ready? Yes. All right. So my boss, I was, I turned 21. Hold on. Let me think about this. 30 years ago. No. Okay. I was 19 my first summer for the first few weeks. And then I turned 20 while interning there. At that time, he was married to a woman that, let's call her Chelsea. He being your boss. Yeah, let's say my boss is Alfred. Okay. My boss, Alfred, was married to Chelsea.

Chelsea was also an employee of the company, but didn't work for him or in the department at all, but they met at the company. And she was a little bit older than him. And she thinks she had a kid from a previous marriage. I had heard that apparently the summer or I'm sorry, like the fall before I started, he had told his team excitedly, Chelsea's pregnant. Yay. And then nobody ever talked about it again because Chelsea just at one point wasn't pregnant anymore.

Yeah. Sad. So, and at this time, I am, I turned 20 and he was like 31, let's say. So he's like 11 years older than me. So now he's almost 50. Anyway, I remember my second summer. They had invited me back to intern for a second summer. And Chelsea is very pregnant.

So, yay. It worked. Right, right, right. Chelsea is very pregnant. I would run into her. Like, I would see her in the building, but, like, I'm just the intern. So I'm not going to, like, go out of my way to, like, introduce myself or be like, oh, I work for your husband, Albert, whatever.

Sure. Anyway, so there was at one point, though, it's very hard for me to like explain, but when you would go to the bathroom, there was this like intersection of hallways that you'd kind of run into people. And there was at one point, I did see him turn around to watch me walk away, as in check out my ass. Okay? I didn't think much of it except. Men are trash. But I didn't think much of it in just that I'm just like, bro, fucking men are disgusting. And like, you've got a pregnant wife. Could you just like not check out your intern's ass while at work? Anyway. So after I left, I dated a guy.

We'll call him Brandon. Okay, we'll call him Brandon. Brandon worked at the same, like, full time after he graduated college. Brandon worked at the same company I interned at, okay? Full time. And he just so happened to also work closely with Chelsea. Chelsea was no longer pregnant. She had had a beautiful baby boy.

And but now Chelsea and Albert, was that his name? Albert. I think so. We're getting divorced. That or Alfred. Yeah, Alice, one of the, Al, Al, Chelsea and Al are now getting divorced. Okay. Uh-oh.

because our friend owl, owl, owl, not owl, Al, Al, was hooking up with another girl, let's call her Dana. Ow. That was like 25 years old. Ow. Okay. Oh my God. Yeah. Yeah.

Al is trash. Al is trash. But we could have, but like, and so when this all happens, I'm like, oh, that tracks, because he checked out my ass. Yeah, yeah, yeah. when he had a wife who was like seven months pregnant. That's insane. So we get all the tea from Chelsea who's like, yeah, he was cheating on me with Dana, who was a child. And he was like decently high up in the company where he almost got fired because of this indiscretion where his wife worked at the company.

He worked at the company. Like, and, you know, Dana worked at the company. like no bueno. So he got a big, big no, no, no talking to. So Al, our friend Al, is now remarried, okay?

And not that long ago, I somehow found, somehow, guys, you know I googled it. Yeah, you'd be stalking. When you, like, remarried, is she like, is the same,

woman that you were? Not Dana, no. Not Dana? Not Dana. Someone like half his age? Uh, she's a few years younger. but like irrespectively in the range. Okay, I'm sorry, continue.

They put out a wedding announcement and went through the whole shebang of like one of those like New York Times announcements. It wasn't New York Times, but it was like they were telling the story of how they fell in love and like when they met. And I'm looking at the dates of when they said they met and when they went on their first date and when they fell in love. And I'm like, wait a second. Oh no.

This coincides. with the exact same time. Oh my God. He was banging Dana. Incredible. And getting divorced from Chelsea. Oh, that's juicy. Yes.

That's great. So anyway, that was my boss as an intern. Very cool. He was fine. He was like, I mean, like, outside of the fact that he's a trash husband, boyfriend, whatever the fuck. He was like fine as a boss. He like didn't really give a shit what I did.

I was not a great intern. I, as you can imagine. Yeah, that tracks. would literally go around cube to cube and just talk to people. Hi, what do you do? What do you do? Hi, what do you do? Anyway, people fucking hated me.

If only they knew, I'm a lot of fun. So whatever. I was literally 19, 20 years old. A baby. We grow and we learn. But he was like decently cool, but I remember they gave me like a performance review in the middle of the summer. Oh, that's stressful.

And I got all like it was a. scale from like one to five. Uh, which like five being the best. I, one of, one, either one or five was the,

okay. I want to say one was the best, five was the worst. Five is like you're about to get fired. I got threes on everything. And I remember being like, are you fucking kidding me? Uh,

you don't even know what I do on a day to day basis. That's why I got the threes, honey. Either, yeah, true that. Can you be that mad? At the time I was entitled and, sure, sure.

But now I was like, yeah, I probably deserve threes. To the age. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You didn't do anything, Aaron. I was up at my desk, like, up at my desk all the time. One time I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack so loud that he came up and he goes,

wow, I can hear that down the hall. You're really blasting that through your eardrums. That rules. And at the time I didn't, yes, at the time I did not pick up on the passive aggressiveness. You're so dumb. You're too dumb. I was just like, yeah, it's a great. Yeah, I love it.

Yeah, exactly. Hey, listeners, listeners, guess what? Aaron did today like not four hours ago just like blasting I swear to God blasting the wicked soundtrack on her phone just like singing it's me it's a good fucking soundtrack it's a good fucking soundtrack so hold on we're talking about interns and everything something you said this is so off track but it's somewhat it's not related but it's kind of related but it's not you said that was the summer where I, and what I immediately thought of was... The summer I turned pretty.

The summer I turned pretty. Can we talk about shows that have no cultural, like, staying power or no, like, um... You don't think that... Who the fuck is talking about the summer I turned pretty now? I mean, I still follow the subreddit. Many people are. Outside the subreddit, Aaron. Look, I'm not saying it's like Game of Thrones where it was just like, you know...

How about that show? Tarnished forever, but... With Brian Cranston. in. Oh, Judge, Your Honor? Your Honor. Your Honor. So, yeah.

That was a flash in the pan. That was a two-season show that really should have been one season. Like, that was, oh, that sucked. So I was into the first season of the show, Your Honor. I don't even know that I watched the last season of Your Honor. And you really shouldn't. It's just, it should have ended with one season. It was just one of those, I thought it was a limited fucking series, you know, like limited series on television where it's just, oh, you get like eight episodes and that's it.

And it tells a full, complete story. I thought that's what I'm with your honor. Did the kid die? The kid died, right? Spoiler, Brian Cranston's kid. Died. Yeah, okay, that was the last episode. That was the last episode of season one.

I... It's great. It's like full circle. It's tragic. Yeah, I was thinking if it came back around to season two. Oh, he survived. No, it's not that bad, but... Uh, somehow so-and-so...

Right, right, right, right. What is it? Somehow Palpatina turned. Yes, say. The three worst words in recent. fiction. Yes. Yes. Yeah. Like, it was like that. I know, I know you thought he was dead, but he was like so not dead. He actually wasn't completely dead. I can't stay. I will never understand. So I were bouncing back and forth. sincerely dead. I will never. And I complain to this about you recently, but I will never understand how Disney announces that they're going to do a new trilogy sequel series of Star Wars.

And then it just turns into Harry Potter with everybody. just levitating rocks and boulders. No, that's not my issue with it. That's my issue with it. My issue is they announce a trilogy and they don't plan it. Yeah, I agree. They wing it from movie to movie and it's like, no, you should maybe fucking plan the trilogy and they keep rewriting everything from movie to movie.

Listen, I'm not a big Star Wars fan at all. Like I am, I did not grow up on Star Wars, toys, culture, not even the movies. I never watched that. That's not true. You told me you watched it with your dad. No, James Bond. I watched with my dad.

No, you said you, when you made me watch that fucking horrific movie, you said the Star Wars movie, the first one, not the, the fourth one, but the first one. You told me you first saw that with your dad.

I've never seen that movie with my dad. I've never seen that movie with my dad. You told me you saw it with your dad. I think you missed her in my love. No, I did not miss here. I remember exactly where we were. We were in our old apartment, the townhouse.

We were on the sofa. Not even the sofa we have, like the old sofa. We were like young Mark Hamel. Yes. And Leah and before they knew they were brother and sister, before the plot even knew they were brother and sister. Sure. Right.

Right. No, man. I, well, but we never like grew up on the Star Wars shit as a family. What I'm trying to say is like that's how pissed I am at this trilogy from an outsider's perspective. Do you know? who I share a birthday with? Who?

No, I guess I peed a little. Who peed? She peed? Just a tiny bit. Who do you share a birthday with? J.J. Abrams. That's pretty cool. And Chloe Kardashian.

That's less cool. And Helen Killer. That's really cool. Wow. The three most important historic figures. Oh, and, oh my God,

Ross Perrault. Ross Perrault. Ross Perrault. I think he's dead now. I'm pretty sure he's... I think he was the ear boy. Ear boy, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, so you want to come pee on me now?

Chip just jumped on airs lap. So, like, yeah, remember all that, that Nickelodeon, like, Nickelodeon's answer to SNL, which is a great idea. Have SNL for kids. All that. I watch that every Saturday. And then Keenan Thompson fucking, like,

transfer to, SNL and my fucking childhood was like forever. Remember his? He had the worst character. I mean, there's no, there's plenty of worst characters. What was his worst character? The fucking Frenchman and the bathtub. But I'm a dumb.

Wait. Yeah. That was not funny. That was not funny. I left hardest at Keenan Thompson in the bathtub saying non sequiters. No. That was the hardest as a kid. That was like.

You are so dumb. You are so dumb. That was the worst of all of the skits. I guess it's like a, I don't know, fucking 10, 11, 12 year old kid. like, oh, this is my jam. That was like key, that was like, he random equals funny humor for me, I guess. So stupid.

And when he would like pretend to laugh. Yeah. And it was like, that's not, whatever you're reading, it's not funny. It was the best. It ruined me every single time. It's slayed. The doc is a squeaky.

Right. Yeah. No, that's exactly like the kind of shit he would say. It was so bad. I don't know what it was. Maybe it was the anticipation. Like, because like first you would speak in quote unquote French, right? And you didn't know what he said.

And then he would translate. Maybe it was just the anticipation. something, I don't know, but then like, I remember I was in college and the one, like the first episode of SNL, like when they're announcing all the names of the new cast, Keenan Thompson, I go, what the fuck? Keenan Thompson's in SNL now? And it was a real like, right of passage for me. It was just like, you know, a crossover, like an end of a childhood, side of adulthood.

Like the fucking French bathtub dude and all that is now in all of my SNL skits, because I've been an SNL fan even long before. beforehand and he's still there. It was, he was really Keenan and Kel and like Goodberger. I was never a big Kenan and Kel fan. I was more, I loved all that. I didn't watch a lot of Keenan and Kell.

I really liked Keenan and Kel. I thought they were really funny. Yeah, I would like, I would watch it if it was on, you know, like back when that was how TV like operated. Kell loved orange soda. He loved orange soda. Yeah. Ooh, ooh, ooh, I love my soda. Like, but they worked it, they also worked at Goodberger

and Kel was a dummy. Do you ever see the Good Burger movie? Yes. I did not. You've never said. Oh my God. Mondo Burger? Of course I have seen it.

It's a Dodgeball-esque before Dodgeball. Like there's the, Oh, really? Yes, there's like the evil corporate burger franchise. But they're doing naughty, naughty things. Oh, no. Nottie, naughty things. Mondo Burger, bitch.

Yes. No, I've never seen it. I think they made a seat. like a legacy sequel, like 20 years later, yeah. Or like five years ago. You could just say it like that. I'm just like 20 years later. Or like five years ago.

Because we old, maybe. But you know, you know what I loved about Nickelodeon like movies? Yeah. They came on orange VHS tapes. Oh, the branding was so smart. The orange tapes. The branding was so smart. Did you ever snow day?

I saw that shit in theaters. I love snow day. I saw it in theaters too and I hated it. They left an impression on me as a kid. I'm like, that was an epic. You're so boring. Oh my, I remember being fucking 11 being like, that was so boring. That was so bad.

Harriet the Spy. No, Harriet the Spy was the Tits. That was a good one. That was a good one. So good. Yeah. And I had a crush on Scout. I think that was his name.

He was like the boy. He was like the boy that was her friend that was poor. And she wrote in her journal about how he was. leaked or whatever. Yes, about how he was poor. And then everybody, like, right. Saw what they said about them.

And Scout was, like, really hurt. Mm-hmm. I think, I, and I hope to God his name of Scout. I don't, I don't remember what it was. But, like, it was sad. It was sad. Nickelodeon, man. That was like, that was my bread and butter.

Nickelodeon. All the bumpers, right? All the fucking animated bumpers. Oh, dude. I've been in, like, TikTok rabbit holes of like 90s commercials. Hi there. Are you doing fucking smiley here? No.

Face here. Face here. Hi there. That's it. Face here. Dude, it's actually, it's intoxicating. Like some of these nostalgia bait channels on social media, like they got me. Of course they did.

They hooked me in. It's like, fuck, I remember all these bumpers. I've watched Nick Jr. now if it were exactly the way it was. Like, give me face and stick stickly any day of the week. Yo, give me face. Ew. Don't be gross. Any day of the week.

Yeah. For sure. Fates and Stickstically. Do you remember Stickstically? A little bit. A little bit. And he had like a P.O. Box?

You could send him mail? Oh, did he? He had a P.O. Box? That's funny. Yeah. Remember P.O. Boxes? Like, remember like... He was a Popsicle stick.

Or sweepstakes. I feel like Nickelodeon had a lot of like sweepstakes. Like, enter here at P.O. Box. I don't know. It was a lifetime ago. Oh, nothing will ever be the same. There will never be the cult classic that was Nickelodeon ever. again ever again it was such a fucking moment in time right gone forever that had to get

fucking acquired by viacom and mtv and turn into i don't even know i couldn't tell you the last it's not special anymore it's not special anymore it really is and it was it's lost it's touch Doug hey arnold oh my god remember all their all their toys oh my god yeah the fucking alarm clock the gack the gack and uh what was the flome flome Uh-huh, uh-huh. Oh, yeah, all there, they had all of these, like, toys that were cool shaped and misshapen and, like, different. Everything was, like, lava lamp shaped. Yeah, that aesthetic.

Yep. It was like wavy. Yes. Neon, bright neon colored and lighted or lit, I guess. Did you ever have GAC? I think we had GAC. Did you ever put it in the carpet? I'm sure we, because we had a carpet.

I'm sure I did. 10 seconds after getting GAC. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Immediately in the carpet. It's inevitable. And then the GAC is never the same again. Or the carpet.

That's the, it's slime people. It was slime. Like, oh man, but it was all bright colors and shit. I love that. A few years ago, we saw a really good documentary all about like the start of Nickelodeon. It was amazing. It was like, it was like, it was eye opening. It was during COVID-ish.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, that window. I remember getting on a Zoom call with my team. And we, it was one of those like things where it's like you share. Like, what's everybody watching? Just to like try to connect with people. Anything. Right. And I remember starting out the call with, I, over the weekend, I saw this amazing documentary on Nickelodeon, the rise and all of it. And I'm like, I highly recommend.

It was so interesting. It's very millennial coded in the best way. Scratch that nostalgia itch for me. God, it did. And then, you know, five people on the Zoom call are muted. How soul crushing was that? And then 30 seconds or, you know, 10 seconds later, what feels like 30 seconds, they go, click and they unmute and they go, oh, that sounds really fun.

Oh, that's kill me. And you know they never did. You know that never happened. No, actually. Oh, yeah? Yes. The guy that chimed in later told me, I watched what you recommended. I loved it.

Oh, that's cool. Yes. But it was very cool. It's just so Zoom call coded. Oh, for sure. In the, like, crickets. Right. Right.

Pregnant paws. Anyway. All right, guys. I am so excited to end the year with you in Sagittarius season. Damn straight. I have a Sagittarius daughter who is missing one of her front teeth and thus can no longer contain her tongue in her mouth as a result. No, she can't.

Every time she lies down and closes her mouth, her tongue slips out because. She no longer has the barrier to keep it in. Oh, man. And I love my Sagittarius baby, and I am excited to close the season with you. Sagittarius. Hark. The man. Cometh.

Ew. Anyways. Can I please get a dollar? Why? Do. men think hornily all the time only only Oprah can answer speaking of Oprah have you heard that she

is against anyone who speaks ill of Um, say it. Epstein? I heard that she has a entourage. Who? Hangs. Oh no, around. Diddy.

Plus. Harvey. This is not a good. Weinstein, I said it. Anyway, look it up. Jack continue. Tomorrow I might feel a

Hangover But You You You You Will Receive

A blessing From Oprah Please Please Do your homework as one should do. Before Oprah gives you a spanking. Once she spanks your bottom say.

Achoo! So she can admit that she like. spanking. You. I'm so very and... Horny. Horny. New year.

Thank you all so much for joining us. This is our last... I don't know if it is. I think it is. I think we have one more. No, I think. We don't know if we will be there next week. Yes.

Or just the week after we'll be all. off for the week after that. I don't, Jack and I, we are in dispute about this actively. So you might see us next week. You might not. But either way,

please keep texting in to Dad Hugged Me 10. I love hearing it. Also, please subscribe to Patreon where you get much better episodes with more ranting, less obvious, no, not less,

no ads. And more ranting. You get the, the full experience. The full experience where you also can leave comments directly on there. and because they're a lot fewer, we can go through them a lot quicker.

That's actually really true. I kind of forget that, yes, you can comment and reply, and it is a very select pool of people that can do such a thing. I rarely go through the nature of Patreon. I rarely go through the YouTube comments. I do go through the hotline texts,

as well as the Patreon comments. So please subscribe to Patreon if you'd like to hang out and get a little bit more of a direct connection to leave us comments. God, this episode was all over. the place. Yeah, it was. Sorry to take you.

No, nay. I'm not sorry. Don't be. I thank you for coming on the journey of my freedom of thought. As we went through it together, I hope you had as much fun as I did. I hope to see you guys, if not next week, in the new year. Until next time, haters.