Erin is the Funny One - Nic Cage Film or Nic Cage FAKE

Episode Date: April 11, 2022

After a good high-school reunion/growing up related cry, and a lesson on freebooting, Jack and Erin dive into this week’s EITFO in spectacular fashion! Kicking things off, we have a champag…er, SPARKLING PROSECCO that is both inoffensive and…not bad. Next, Jack presents Erin with a list of Nicolas Cage film titles - can she spot the fake ones? Listen to find out! Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Ooh, welcome back to a new episode of Aaron is the funny one, I'm your host Jack, she's your host Aaron, and that's it, that's the podcast. I almost forgot what we were doing, like I wasn't paying attention to you, I was literally in my own head thinking about, I don't, I do, I do, I once, I remember my, an old boss of mine told me that, like he was really into Myers-Briggs, and he told me that he could tell that when I process things, I process them internally. So even though I'm pretty extroverted to a degree and like talkative, I, because I process things internally, that is what makes me an introvert, allegedly.

As far as listeners don't know, Myers-Briggs is a, is the foot disease. Everybody knows what Myers-Briggs is, Jack, stop mansplaining. Yeah, it's the foot disease. This is episode 37. Man, what an age. Such an age, so we can run for president and win, queen. It can buy that wacky tobacco, it can purchase. We are well past that, yeah.

It can do just about anything a gamble pleases. It can like reminisce on, oh, oh, oh, I know what it does, I know what it does, it goes to its 20 year high school reunion. Oh, that's good. Shit, that's really good. Yeah, that's what it does. Do you think it's anxious or do you think it's like, does it want to rub everyone else's nose in its success?

What does it want to do? It got like lip filler in advance and Botox and a little, a little touch-up. Yeah, like a classy touch-up. So it's feeling good about itself. So they are not anxious as much as they are excited because they know they look hot as fuck, they are smoking. That's a, yeah, that's the right way to step into a high school reunion, a 20 year high school reunion.

Yes, yeah. You got to feel yourself, you know. We're just a few years from that, yuck. Stop it. We did go to our tenure, but I went to your tenure. You went to mine. But you did not come to my tenure. You skiked me into your tenure.

Yeah, or FaceTimed me. I did? Yeah, you did. You don't remember? No, I don't remember that at all. Good sign. It's a good sign. Wait, really?

Did I really? Yeah, yeah, yeah, I swear. No way. Yeah, no, you did. You did, you FaceTimed me in. Was I really, I was, I was, I was totally that drunk. Yeah, I was, yeah, yeah, yeah. We, my girlfriend and I, we had gone to the bar ahead of time

and that way we could show up pleasantly feeling ourselves. Pre-gaming the reunion. Let's go. Which I don't recommend only because unsafe drinking is unsafe, children. Way to save it. Way to save it there at the end. But yeah, sometimes I think we were feeling anxious. So, yeah.

And you know what's funny is that even since then, cause that was, well, that was seven years ago now. So, holy moly. Yeah, I've now realized, like I'll go on Facebook and I'll see kids that I recognize, but I don't know their names. And I'm like, wow, I used to know everybody's name. And so now I've gotten to the point

where I don't remember their names. I don't remember like stories with them. It's sad. Sad, it is sad. I have the mind of like an 85-year-old with memory problems. No book disease. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, the notebook disease.

Well, I'm one step further and sadder. I just don't go on Facebook. You don't, no. I have no idea. Like, forget if I remember them. I don't know names. I don't know like what, you asked me what anyone from my high school's doing.

I'm shrugging so hard. I do not know. Wow. I'm completely detached from everything pertaining to my high school life. To be fair, you're also kind of a shitty friend with your college friends too. Yeah.

Yeah, you actually told me that today. Oh, I feel a lot of guilt, not like responding back to certain friends that I really, really, really should. You really should. Just gets harder. You know, the older you get. I know, I know. I'm in the same boat because a lot of my friends

will contact me through DMs. And I have a bit. It's cool, like MLM proposals. Today was the first day I was on Instagram in ages. Like, ages. So. But everyone's like, they're on Instagram. Or at least like your high school crowds, they're on Instagram.

My high school crowds on Instagram. Yeah, yeah. OK. But I'm also a bad friend because I don't respond to DMs because I haven't been on it. Welcome to the Bad Friends podcast. I know, this is the Bad Friends podcast. Thank you for joining us.

Today, we're just going to lament over how much we hate ourselves for being bad friends. There's no quiz, no fun, no games. It's just for grit. We just fully, 90 minutes of regret. We fully admit that we are terrible friends and you definitely don't want to be friends with us because sometimes we can be pretty shitty communicators.

But we feel really guilty about it. If that makes it any better. But we have a lot going on at the moment. Let's take our first caller. All right, Steve from history. What's going on, Steve? So yeah, this is episode 37. The depressingly old episode.

Wait, can I also talk about something that I've learned about high school now? Is that we have a few things to talk about. I've somehow arrived on the TikTok algorithm of high school kids that are getting rejected from colleges. Yeah, they have GPAs that are like out the wazoo. I don't even usually like four or five. I think I graduated high school with like maybe a three three.

Yeah. And I didn't take any. God, you wouldn't stand a fucking chance today. No, oh my God. Which by the way, honestly, I almost wish I had known that apparently going to community college for two years and then going, if you wanted a four year degree, like transferring out

and is so much more cost effective. And that probably would be the route I would go if I did it now. And I probably would have finished paying off my student loans. I don't know. At least five years sooner than I did. I mean, it took me literally 12 years to pay my student loans back. So that's cool. Anyway, make whatever.

Anyway, if you are a high school kid, don't drink. But also, if you're a high school kid and you are currently trying to get into college and having difficulties, challenges, all that stuff, I one got rejected from my first choice college because I thought my SAT scores could like, like I don't need to actually try in school. I'm rejected for my first choice, too.

Yeah, but mine was like way more valid. So true. Yeah. I honestly thought my SAT score is like, oh, well, they'll know I'm smart because I have an SAT score. So you don't need good grades to get in. But you did. And so I got rejected for my first first choice school.

And if you're a kid and elite that can't get into any elite schools or whatever, it's apparently according to TikTok, hell of hard to get into college these days. Do not feel bad about it. And I swear to God, I make, well, I don't want to brag. But like, and this is not including like the podcast, like my full-time job provides me with more money than anybody that graduated from the college

I didn't get into. So you can prove them wrong. You just have to, you know, be a girl boss. That's it. I was literally going to say something about it. What a girl boss flex and you beat me to it. So whatever, not trying to brag, but also colleges and everything.

And that's all I'm going to say on that. Oh, but also Jack film, guess what? What? Okay, so tell us how you feel about free-booting. First, why don't you describe what free-booting is? Yeah, I hate, I feel extremely strongly about free-booting and free-booters and that I love them all so much.

No, I hate free-booting and I cannot stand, probably one of my greatest pet peeves. I just get like viscerally angry at free-booting and free-booters. For those that don't know, free-booting is basically just like re-uploading someone else's work or material to your own account, whatever that may be.

And then you benefit and profit. And you reap all the benefits of it. You don't tag them or you don't credit them. You know, a few years back, like it's no longer the trend now, but like, you know, maybe half a decade ago, people would constantly repost gifts and videos and pictures they didn't make with the caption,

who did this, lol? I mean, they still do that on like, they'll like repost tweets on Instagram. And I mean, like that's essentially almost the entire app of TikTok. Yeah, or like if I had to watch this, you do too. Or shit like that, it doesn't matter. Like the wordings change,

but the essence still remains the same. So that's what free-booting is. And it's just like, it's very prevalent on TikTok. Like Jesus Christ, all people do. I mean, like people re-upload my videos all the time, but like, I see it too. Like Aaron will show me TikToks and I just go, that's literally a YouTube video

that someone else just uploaded. And I'll be like laughing at it. And I'm like, and you're like, I saw that five years ago. I'm so mad. Like, God damn it. Like this, and of course, you know, the person will defend, like the person uploading will defend themselves saying like,

oh, I didn't know. Or like, you know, I'm just uploading a video. I'm not doing anything. It's like, but you are though. Anyhow, so you, that's why are you bringing up free-booting, Aaron? Because today, because I went on Instagram today for the first time in forever,

I saw Britney Spears. She free-boots the shit out of stuff. Oh, Britney. And she is our Lord and Savior. And so what? That's free-booting, bitch. How do you feel about Britney Spears free-booting? You can't say anything bad about Britney, Jack.

No, no, I was quoting, it's Britney bitch, but then I said, it's free-booting bitch. I got it. It's a very funny joke. We all got it. Only Britney heads will get it. But you can't talk shit on Britney. Sure you can.

She's literally enshrined in like a golden egg that is in, like you can't crack. No, you can't like critique her. You can't attack her now. You can't crack that golden egg. But like fucking for free-booting, don't free-boot. Don't free-boot, Britney. I'm sorry.

I know you just got over your conservatorship. You know, congratulations. That's awesome. Don't fucking free-boot. That's bullshit. Don't fucking free-boot. Wow. You know what?

It's free-booting, bitch. If this were Elden Ring, this egg, her golden egg would crush your puny soul in four seconds. And you have- How many hours in Elden Ring do you have? I don't remember. I got 80, you got 50. Do I?

Yeah, something like that. Let's fucking go, gamer. Wow, I've done nothing for 50. I just like exploring. I know you still haven't beaten the end boss of Stormvale. I can't beat any bosses. I just like exploring. Oh, that's true.

You can't beat, yeah. I had to beat more than for you. Every single, even mini boss, I just hand the controller to you. I just like exploring and finding new things. That's gonna be a problem later on because they only get harder. Anywho, sorry.

So back to Brittany. So she free-boots. So she's basically- This is probably our most controversial podcast. Ha ha ha ha. Who's gonna defend? I mean, I guess we'll be like, she doesn't know. She didn't know.

Like, come on, it's Brittany, bitch. But hey, don't free-boot. I don't care if you're Brittany Spears or Joe Schmoe. You should write a strongly worded letter to Brittany Spears' fan club and let them know. I'm just, look, Brittany, I'm mad and disappointed. Yeah, they need to know who they're supporting

and what they're supporting, okay? So, okay, what is she free-booting? Okay, so she free-boots? Actually, like, I wonder, can you, if you repost like a quote and picture, is that still free-booting? I need to see the context. God, it just sucks.

All right, hold on. I guess if you at, you know what, that's- Okay, so, oh wait, well, that- If she credits them. It's funny that you say that because she does tag the original poster. Does that mean she's no longer free-booting if she's tagging the original person?

Look, if you tag the original person, I feel like that softens the blow a bit. Yeah, so I didn't know she did that. I thought she just meant like, you know, literally like who did this to someone. Well, I didn't know that free-booting, like, so what do you call that, just booting? What do you call that?

Let me see it again, let me see it again. Do you have to profit off of free-booting to make it- No, no, no, no, no, because you're still like- It's any repost. Repost. Any repost. Any repost. Yeah, because even if you're not like financially

gaining from it, you're still gaining clout from it. Because, you know, especially when they go viral, it's like, well, that wasn't your post, but now you have all the clout from someone else's work. Does Britney Spears need more clout? I don't think she does. No, it's Britney fucking Spears. She doesn't need more clout.

I think she, honestly, I think she gets a pass on this. Okay. She's like, she's just like reposting a picture. It's like some shitty motivational quote, right? Well, oh no. Well, she also reposts like TikTok videos. That's a little shittier. But she tags them.

And that's harder to tell. Okay. All right, if you tag them, see there's a gray area. And listeners, if you feel strongly one way or the other about this issue, and if you want to like, give me some of the technicalities of free-booting via Instagram, do us a favor. Call us or text us at our hotline, dadhugme10.

She reposted a video from my miniature life underscore YT. And it is a bunch of people who've made like miniature replicas of like breakfast foods and coffee and stuff like that. I see. But she's tagged them, Jack. Tagging? Yeah.

I think it's still kind of generally frowned upon. I don't know. I generally like would advise against re-uploading someone else's TikToks to your Instagram. You know, tagging makes... You know, you could be the Kim Kardashian of justice here. And you could put Brittany in her place if you really wanted.

No, you're right. I know I'm right. I'm always right. Yeah, let me put that Miss Spears right in her place. Yeah. So yeah, anywho. Will you stop shoving food down your cornhole while we're trying to, we're trying to,

this is a professional work environment Jack film. In our messy ass office room. It looks like a hoarder's dream. I'm not even kidding, it is a hoarder's dream. It's amazing. We have a stack of fucking hunter killer games that's like five feet high. Oh my God, it actually is five feet high.

It's a fire hazard times a thousand. Our dogs would... This is the most embarrassing room in our house by far. Even our garage is organized and this is not. Hey, honey. Yeah. Would you like to... Oh yeah, we drank wine on this podcast.

I forgot about that. So I can stuff my cornhole more? Well, holy moly Jack film. What do we got here? We have ourselves another sparkling. Oh, la la. And the thing about sparkling, for those who don't know, all champagne is sparkling wine.

Not all sparkling wine is champagne. This person who is in med school and I hope you're listening because this is my passive aggressive way of communicating with you, texted in and explained. So the last time we had sparkling wine, by the end of it, I was like, wow, we haven't even had

nearly as much as we usually drink and I feel way more drunk, right? Well, they had texted in and they were like, hi, I'm a doctor. I'm in med school or whatever. And they were like, yeah, no, that's real. Like the carbonation in the drink makes you drunker and blah, blah, blah, blah.

I heard that. But then they followed up with a comment about how... How Britney Spears is freebooting. How Britney Spears is freebooting, it was so weird. No, they followed up with a comment about how it's not the region in which the wine or grapes are grown. It's like how it gets you drunk or something like that.

That's what makes it champagne. And I was like, I don't... That's interesting. Well, no, it's not interesting. It's wrong. And I didn't know how to tell this texture. You can be wrong and interesting. Actually, no, that's wrong.

Literally doing just like quick Google, champagne versus sparkling wine. Yeah, boom. You can get your answer. Someone tried to break back to you. So anyway, I'm sorry, sir, you are wrong. And I didn't know how to tell you that, but you are wrong. But anyway, so we have another sparkling here for us.

And hopefully it will get us drunk fast just like the last time, which was a lot of fun. It was a lot of fun. So today we have ourselves, my goodness, why would we ever buy this thing? I don't even know how to pronounce this. Okay, so it says Belusi, B-E-L-L-U-S-S-I, but it's got like a...

It's like a Gen Z-ers dream. Everything has put us at the end. On the top, though, it's like, it says Valdo Biadini, Biadini. Bless you. And then it says D-O-C-G. So if you know how to pronounce D-O-C-G, Oh, like Dogecoin, yeah.

You go ahead and you be my guest on that. And it says Prosecco Superiore. So, wowzers. All right, so we've got some Prosecco here. It's 11%. It is an extra dry quality sparkling wine, product of Italy. The grape is Glera, G-L-E-R-A.

Anyway, let's see what Vivaldi has to say about it. Please, yes. I quite enjoy it. I really like this champagne. It's not champagne, it's sparkling Prosecco. I did it again. I did it again. I will never, if I haven't learned by now,

I'll never learn, but it's very inoffensive as I love to say, but it is. Oh, okay. All right, so we, oh man, we got ripped off again. All right. Always, always. So our sticker price is what, 15? Sticker price is $15.99.

So $16, average price, $11.50. God damn it, I'd be a rich man. 373 reviews, 3.8 stars out of five on average. For Vivaldi. What do you think of this Prosecco Superiore? Wow, there's a lot of flavor here. Kind of winced at that. Yeah, I wasn't expecting it.

Prosecco's usually pretty neutral. It's okay. We're gonna have fun. Even though it's only 11%, because it's a Prosecco. Yes. Carbonation, something, something. Carbonation or something, something.

How many errands out of 10 would you give the Belusi, Belusi? Like a five and a half. That's. Or a six. Decent for you, but you're so picky. No, I'm liking this. Seven and a half out of 10.

No, wait, you use a five scale. You can't change it. I would say it's almost a four. What? Three and a half to four. Really? No. I like it.

Oh, I got a lot. No, five and a half. Did you pick this one or me? You did. You did. I did, okay. You did. Well, I picked worse.

I picked much worse. You have picked so much worse. That's a Jack film victory. Oh my gosh. Okay, so Jack film, what are we getting into today? It's time for the meat of this podcast sandwich, the entree of this podcast dinner. I have to say, I was a little inspired.

Nay, heavily inspired by our good friend Brock Baker. You see, Aaron, every April, my good friend Brock Baker. You can be found on TikTok. Yes. At Brock Baker. He's famous on the TikTok. He has like over two million followers in TikTok. He's quite the TikToker, very funny guy

and a dear friend of ours. And he also celebrates a fun holiday. It's called Harbor Day, which is coming up this month. Well, we should all celebrate that. But he celebrates what he likes to call a cage brawl where for the month of April, for every day in the month of April, he watches a different Nicholas Cage movie.

Wait, what? Is this real? Yeah, yeah. I did not know this. This is real, this is real. He always tweets about it. And with Nicholas Cage coming out with a new movie soon, I forget when it's coming out.

Wait, what movie? Well, it's part of the quiz. It's Ian Pinocchio 3, okay. Yeah, he's in one of the 18 Pinocchios coming out this year. He's the voice of Pinocchio. Father. Can I leave?

Be on my own. Oh, and by the way, listeners, we still have not. We couldn't get past the first five minutes of that fucking movie. It's just very painful. We'll do it someday. I know. When we get COVID, we can watch it

when we're sick with COVID. I was gonna say, I need a bit more Belusi in me to like watch that. Anywho, oh, and she's pouring it. Wow. No, that's service. Thank you, wife. You're welcome.

So Brock celebrates what he calls Cajbrill. And I thought, well, Nicholas Cage, he's been in a ton of movies, and recently he's been in a ton of stinkers and a lot of movies that nobody's heard of because he has all of these. Well, for a while, I think he's recently no longer in debt,

but he was in debt for a long time, right? Wait, what? With his crazy Nicholas Cage. I think you're thinking of Johnny Depp. No, Nicholas Cage was also pretty infamous for buying crazy things like what, a T-Rex skull head, and I don't know, a castle or an island. No, that's Leonardo DiCaprio.

No, no. Leonardo DiCaprio collects dinosaur bones. I think, yes, true, but I also think Nicholas Cage had a fun little habit of extravagant expenditures. I think he just likes getting drunk in public. Which, so do I. I mean, I'm not gonna follow you for that.

That's fun as hell. But long story short, Mr. Cage, an amazing actor as he is, has been in just so many movies, too many movies. He's just been kind of a movie cranking machine, a real film factory. And so I've devised a terrible little quiz in honor of Brock Baker's celebrated Cage Brawl holiday.

I got a list of Nicholas Cage movie titles, but here's the kicker. Some of them don't exist. So I'm gonna go through this list of film titles and Aaron, and listeners play along, tell me if this is a real Nicholas Cage movie or if I made it up. How many questions are there?

So there's like over 40. You came up with 40 movie titles? I did, but we could do like a speed round thing towards like the latter quarter. How many, do you know how many movies Nicholas Cage has actually been in? It's gotta be like over 100, right? It's over 200, according to the-

It's over 200 movies. According to the IMDb, I wanna say, I either saw like 200 plus or 270 plus. It was absurd. It was obscene, man's booked and busy. But- Wow, it pays to have rich family. That'd do, that'd do. Oh, right.

That was it, that was my Nicholas Cage. What was the first Nicholas Cage movie that you saw? It might've been like fucking Con Air. Really? I saw that with friends, not with- I've seen Con Air. I saw it like at my friend's house. Yeah, I've definitely seen Con Air.

It's great. A lot of fun. Yeah. Con Air is not on the list, spoilers. Damn. Yeah, all right. You'll know some of these. Pig.

Hopefully you won't know a lot of them. Pig. All right, ready? National Treasure 4. Okay, shut up and shut up. Listeners, shut up. Okay. First one, is this a real Nicholas Cage movie

or am I making it up? Mandy. Yes, real. Correct, that's real. Do you know what that makes me think of? What does Mandy make you think of? In the movie, Can't Hardly Wait, which has nothing to do with Nicholas Cage.

Mandy, the song Mandy by Barry Manilow has a prominent role in the movie. And by the way, if you haven't seen the movie, Can't Hardly Wait. Don't. No, shut up. You know it's a good movie. Yeah, but it's probably aged as well as most movies

in that era. Probably, but it's good. It's funny. It's so Jennifer Love Hewitt, Ethan Embry, Melissa Joan Hart. Everybody loves Sabrina. I did love that show. Right?

The dad doctor vampire man from Twilight is in that movie. Oh, okay. Peter Fatshinelli or something. Peter Fatshinelli? The girl from Servant is in that movie. Yes, yes, she is. Yeah, mm-hmm. Seth Green.

Seth Green. Yeah. Before he was rolling in that family guy money. Yeah. Oh my God, it never had to work a day in his life. Yeah. Anyway, Can't Hardly Wait. Go watch it.

Alrighty. So Mandy is correct. How about this one? Joe. Yes, true. What? That's true. Joe's a movie.

Yeah, Joe's a movie. Joe's a movie. How about this? William. No, not, not a movie. I made it up. You're right. Damn it.

License to murder. Correct. Yes. I don't know. What am I supposed to say? Like I do. Yeah. Any affirmation?

I solemnly swear that is an actual movie. Made it up. Oh, were you inspired by one that he was actually in? Well, you'll see. OK. A score to settle. No, too wordy. That's a real movie.

Damn it. How about this, though? OK. Fists of Fury. Fuck. Damn it. Would anybody watch Fists of Fury? No, not a real movie.

Correct. I made that up. Kill chain. Yes, that is a real movie. It is a real movie. Oh, guys, I'm doing great. You only got two wrong so far. How's Cage Pro going for you guys?

Drive angry. He does play. He has a funny character actor in that he often plays very serious. Like. Manic even. To a degree. Has he ever been in like a comedy?

He has. Where he's played an actual. Like there's like dark comedy where you play it like. Yeah. Right. Raising Arizona is generally a comedy and he's. I've never seen that. Yeah.

Not on the list. Don't worry. But like, yeah, I think it's. I think I don't think I would call it. But he's not funny, though. Like things that happen in the movie are funny, but he's not funny, right? He's not like a Jim Carrey type.

Yeah. Funny things happen in the movie. He's pretty comedic, though. Really? He's not like he's not like slashed. Like, but I do. I do think he's somewhat. We should watch that.

I think I feel like that's a movie that I haven't seen in years, but I did see it and I thought it was pretty good. I've never seen it. I need to rewatch that. All right. So so drive angry. Yes. Yes.

Real movie. Really? Yes. Yeah, you're right. Yeah. I love the title drive angry. Because he looks angry all the time. He does.

Especially on the posters. Right. On the DVD covers. Con Airman. Does he look angry in this, though? Running with the devil. He does. And that is a real movie.

It is a real movie. Yeah. Tell him it's so far. Oh my God. I'm winning. Hashtag winning. Speaking of. Let's take us back to the Nicholas Cage era with hashtag winning.

Charlie Sheen. No, well, but that was like the same era where he was like at his peak. You think? Yeah. 10 years ago he was at his peak. Was it National Treasure like 10 years ago? It was probably more than that. It was probably mid-auts, I'd say.

Yeah. But like, he was in way more stuff then than he is now. He was. Well. Well, he was in pig, but like name another. Exactly. Kill Them Dead. Yes.

That's a real movie. No, I made it up, Aaron. But I would love to watch that Nicholas Cage movie Kill Them Dead. Exactly. Drive angry. Kill Them Dead. Right. Thank you.

Yeah. There's that. And you'll find there is kind of a running theme in a lot of those. Just visceral. Exactly. How about this, though? The one where he's like a skeleton. Oh, I like that Friends episode.

The one where he's a skeleton. Is that their Halloween episode? Wait, what's it called? He's a skeleton on a motorcycle. That might come up in our quiz. So shut up. OK. And shut up.

Bangkok Dangerous. Yes. True. True. True. True. Yes, it's a real movie. Shut up and hit me.

Wait, is it a real movie? Yes, Bangkok Dangerous. No shit. Oh my god, OK. Wait, what was the next one? The next one. Shut up and hit me. No, not a real movie.

You're right. I made that up. Nice. Well done. All right. You're getting the gist of this. How about this? Vengeance, Colin, a love story.

Not a real movie. It's a real movie. Do you know who his co-star is? No, I didn't. Who did he fall in love with with vengeance? I didn't take too many notes on that one. I'll get you, you wonderful person that I'm in love with. I'll get you.

She's shaking her fist so hard. Like an angry prospector. It's great. Dad gum, all the things. The devil made me do it. Yes. No. Dad.

But it sounds like one though, right? Romancing the demon. Was he in Romancing the Stone? Why is he in so many movies about demons and stuff? He's booked and busy. Busy boy. Everybody needs another yacht. Damn it.

Romancing the demon. Why was it made public that he had so much debt? Like why was that public? Was he going through a divorce or something? I don't know. I don't know. Like that shouldn't be anybody's business. I should have done more research on that part,

but alas, I had to make this quiz. Right. Romancing the demon. Yes. Romancing the demon. Is that a real movie or did I make that up? It's a real movie. Aaron, I made it up.

Boy. It's good though, right? You totally watched Romancing the Demon. Well, no, Nicholas Cage would totally be in a movie called Romancing the Demon. Right. Is there a what? Would he be in this one though?

Captain Corelli's mandolin. Yes. Yes, is right, yeah. Because it's too random. You wouldn't have come up with that. OK, ready? Ready. The Crudes.

Was he in the Crudes? I would totally believe that he was in the Crudes because everybody needs another yacht. Yes, he was in the Crudes. You are correct. Who did he play? Mr. Crude. Remember when we made it?

Like, I made it, what, like 10, 15 minutes into that movie? And then I was like, this isn't very good. He plays like the, he plays a patriarch. He plays a father figure. I thought that it would have been good. It was a quarantine watch in 2020 at some point. But I thought it would have been good because they came out with the sequel.

Well, Aaron, listen to this. What was the name of that sequel? Was it the Crudes colon Cruder than ever? No, no, it was called like the Crudes to Ice Age or something. Well, you tell me, you tell me, was it called Crudes to Cruder than ever? No, you're right. I did make that up because can I tell you why? Yeah, can I tell you why?

Yeah, because it would have been like Cruder than before. But Cruder than ever indicates that's their last sequel. And if they really, yes, it does. Yes. Yeah. Yes. Huh. It would have been Cruder is as Cruder does or something. OK, boys, crew me once, same on you. No, they would not have done Cruder than ever because that means that it's ever, which means it's the end.

Like Shrek forever after. And has there been a Shrek five, Jack? In over 10 years, there has not. And it breaks my fucking heart. Yeah. All right, honey, you're right. The sequel is not called the Crudes to Cruder than ever. Is it called? Oh, no. The Crudes colon Crude forever after Don of the dinosaurs.

Would they have made a fictionalized movie that would have been like the Flintstones? Because dinosaurs never existed with humans. But really, if you think about it, dinosaurs never existed in general. That is true. Unless you believe that sort of thing, what they try to tell you. If Earth is 7000 years old, what the man and what the man. Try, you know, the narrative that man has created.

Loo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo. The Crudes forever after. What was it again? If you don't remember, honey, it's very, it's very clear. The Crudes colon Don of the dinosaurs. Is that the name of the sequel? No, it's not. You're right. It's not. Oh, really?

Is it this, though? OK. The Crudes colon Continental Drift. Yes. Yes, that's it. That's it. I. Yes, that's it. It's not. Oh, I got you, fucking got you. No, that's a fucking ice age. They made like five ice ages.

That's one of the ice. So is Don of the dinosaurs, actually. Damn it. Yeah. Is it this, though? Oh, no. The Crudes colon, a new age. Yes, it is there. I'll give you. Yes. Yes, it's that one.

Ladies and gentlemen, we got him. Also, wait, when is Crudes 3 coming out? And not soon enough. When is Crudes 3 coming out? Wait, can we talk about what are what are some potential titles for the. Oh, that's a great question. Yeah, the Crudes 3 colon, a baby got. I don't know, like, you know, there's always a fucking baby

in the third movie, right? Something with a fucking baby, like baby time, baby, you know, time. Baby got an upright back. Yeah, right. Yeah, there you go. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, they kind of already did that in the second one. Like that was a whole promotional shit. It was like, well, they walk upright and shit.

Wait, no shit. I'm not even joking. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I actually read yesterday that the reason that we think that the I I don't know what they're called. Neanderthals, I guess, were hunchback was because the only skeleton that they found from that period of time actually had arthritis. Oh, that's interesting. Yeah. And so I guess it caught wind that they were like hunchback,

but I didn't do more research representative of the whole species. Allegedly. That's cool. What what it might indicate. OK, wait, so I'm going to say crudes. Yeah, please. Three third rock from the sun. Beautiful. Crudes, third rock from the sun.

No, yeah, there you go. Really bring three home there. I like that a lot. Even the fifth Ice Age movie did something with like space. Is something like impact? Yeah, yeah, yeah. OK. Crudes, three evolution. No, that doesn't make sense.

Yeah, it does because they're evolving. No, there's a three evolution. It's not funny. That doesn't make any sense. You're terrible at this. You should have stopped when you were at. She's still thinking she's still deep in thought over what the fucking third. No, we have a Nicholas Cage quiz to go through, honey. OK, we are leaving the crudes in the past where they belong, literally.

OK, is this a real Nicholas Cage movie or not? Willie's Wonderland. Yes, that is a true movie that was made with Nicholas Cage starring in it. He played Willie Wonderland, Willie Wonderland. His name was Willie Wonderland. It actually is correct. Did he play Willie Wonderland?

I don't know who he played. I think he played like a silent protagonist. It was kind of a Five Nights at Freddy's spoof or an inspired by Five Nights at Freddy's. Remember when I bought the like Jack from can't do scary movies at all. Or scary games. And I was like, you're such a loser. What a baby. What a baby.

I'm going to download Friday Nights at Freddy's or something. Close enough. Yeah, you got it. And I'm I'm going to this probably so much fun. Otherwise, you know, it's my downloaded on VR. I I lasted like 10 minutes for like, I hate this. This is horrible. It's so spooky for you. It just I can't deal with suspense.

Yeah. And that's all those games are. I can't watch suspenseful movies. No, you couldn't even do the fucking talented Mr. Ripley. No, I like makes me want to hurl. I really know you had a visceral reaction to that movie. I want to throw my face into like the pillows and just like never be woken up. Like I hate suspenseful movies.

I can't deal with the uncertainty of it all. It's horrible. Speaking of suspense, I can't wait to go to Willy's Wonderland with you. Prisoners of the ghost land. Yes. Yes. Yes. It's the best he could do after he couldn't get the captain Jack Sparrow part in Pirates of the Caribbean.

So he did the knockoff version, which was straight to DVD. And that is a real movie. Prisoners of the ghost land is in fact a real movie. I told you that. Well done. I told you so. How about this one? What do you know his character's name? Was he Captain Jark?

He's Captain Canary back. Jiro, yeah. Legally distinct, but very similar. I don't even know if it's a fucking pirate movie, but this next one is the pumpkin. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. He's like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. It's different. You see, there's goes.

Dun dun dun dun dun dun dun. Oh, my. Mine goes dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun. What was that? That was from vanilla ice. Well, no, no, no, I mean, yeah, he was being accused. He he was accused, and I can't. I don't of stealing David Bowie.

Yeah. And and Freddie Mercury's under pressure. Yes. The beat that. Yeah. He was accused of stealing the beat from under pressure because it's the same fucking thing. Yeah. Yeah. Anyway, for his his breakout hit Ice Ice Baby, his name is not Jack Sparrow.

Jank Canary. And the famous pirate Jank Canary. If you say it like that, Jank, you you don't even know the difference. Yeah, Disney can't legally say they're powerless, powerless. I hope Nicholas Cage is like, there wasn't even a fucking pirate movie. What? We're sorry, Mr. Cage. We do apologize, but we do have to move on.

But I don't need to apologize because you're rich. So that's fair. Was he I can't remember. Was he in The Pumpkin King? The Pumpkin King. Wait, do they call him The Pumpkin King? They call him The Pumpkin King. Yeah, they sure do. Yeah, OK.

In that movie. But I'm talking about a different movie called The Pumpkin King. Yeah, yeah, he totally was. He played Jank Scarlington. Washington. I have here my notes. He didn't because I made it up. There's no such movie as The Pumpkin King.

Oh, but he would be a great Jank Scarlington. He would be a great Pumpkin King. Or how about this? How about this, right? OK, OK. The Wicker Man. Yeah, yeah, everybody knows the Wicker Man. OK, that sets up this next one. Wait, wait, where was it? Wicker Park.

No, the Wicker Man, you're right. OK. But but hold on, focus. I need you to I need you to let me know. I don't know what where the fuck you are. Yeah. Was he in this movie? The Wicker Man, too, Colin, returned to Summer Isle. Yes, he was.

It's a not offed known sequel to the blockbuster hit that was the Wicker Man, which definitely has a 99 percent rating on Rotten Tomatoes, like did super, super well. But this time they go to where? Where do they go? Summer Isle, some they go to the Summer Isle. Yes, where he comes upon a pirate's named Jank Canary.

Can't always bring it back to Jank Canary. And by the way, I made that up. There is no Wicker Man to return to Summer Isle. Idiot. Oh, my God. Somebody please fund my Hallmark original Christmas movie. Jank Canary's best Christmas ever. Christmas podcast is going to be lit. OK, so how about this?

Let's go back a bit. OK, is this a real movie with Nick Hager? Did I make it up? National Treasure. It that is that is a real movie. OK, I have seen it. Yes. Wait, did you? Yeah, I saw National Treasure. OK.

I'm from Philadelphia, bitch. OK, I say that just because, like, I think we tried watching. But I haven't seen Rocky. Yeah, well, nor have I. We're both bad Philly people. I knew that was my warm up question. You're from Philly. That was my warm up question. OK.

Was he in National Treasure, Colin, Book of Secrets? Oh, was it not National Treasure, too? It was just National Treasure, Colin. Yeah, he was. He was correct. Yeah. But was he in National Treasure, Colin, Benjamin's Riddle? Oh, no. No, he was not. Correct. He wasn't because that movie does not exist.

Well, they should make it. I agree. It's like Home Alone 4. They're making it like, yeah, I do. Yeah. Well, Home Alone 3, really. By the way, I was listening to President Steve this week and Philly. They had a guest on Ken Burns,

who I meant to look up, but he was on there to promote a series that I believe that he's doing on Ben Franklin and he was talking about Ben Franklin. Oh, really? Yeah. First off, Ken Burns still alive. That's kind of dope. I didn't know. Wait, you know Ken Burns? Yeah, he's a famous documentarian.

He is? Yeah. Yeah, they had him on the show. He did. He's most famous for like his Civil War one. I think he did one on baseball. He did. Yeah, yeah. Wait, hold on. Yeah. He's is he elderly? I mean, he's Civil War fucking old.

Well, he wasn't in the Civil War. No, I know the dog. Fuck you. But I remember when I used to use like iMovie as a as a as an editing program, one of the effects was called a Ken Burns effect. Oh, really? It was this really cool thing. You could zoom in on photographs very slowly

and it would like it had like motion or like stop or whatever. It had like acceleration, decelerate, deceleration. And yeah, anyhow, Ken Burns. Wow, I'm going to have to make you listen to this interview. Then I would love to. It was really he was super like enthused, like he was really really engaged

and interested in what he was talking about and stuff like that. If honestly, if you guys are interested, like President Steve, I think it's the episode from some week in April. Oh, no, they're fast forwarding on any Hoosiers. But did you know that Benjamin Franklin did not like reach? Like he didn't get to where like we know him as until he was 60 fucking nine.

What, really? He was 69 years old. What a legend. Think about that. That's amazing. That's crazy. God, I'll be dead by then. And he was just starting.

He was just starting. That's cool as hell. Isn't that crazy? And it sounds as though like he definitely like. What's he up to these days? Yes, even in his, you know, old age, quote unquote, whatever. Like he was like so growing and learning and understand. Oh, and that was another thing is that he invented all of these things.

He invented the bifocals and the lightning rod and like all of this stuff. But he didn't patent any of it because he didn't want ownership over it because he understood that the things that he was inventing had so much value to the general populace that he didn't want to get rich off of these things. He wanted everybody to benefit from it. What a goddamn hero. Think about that. Isn't that crazy?

That's a fucking that's heroic. It's awesome. He is the ultimate anti-capitalist. Like I love him. I love him. They should put his face on money. Also, I went on this like ghost tour in Philly like 15 years ago or whatever. And Benjamin Franklin's ghost like haunts every spirit in the city of Philadelphia.

I believe it. It was kind of funny how I was like, oh, and Benjamin Franklin haunts this house and that house. He's a busy boy. And that house. Respect that. Anyway, but it was pretty cool. So if you guys come about some Benjamin Franklin stuff,

I'll probably be checking it out. So it's just like a mogus, even in death, you still have work to do. I don't think Benjamin would have had a Benjamin's riddle because Benjamin was all about like he didn't want to hide. He wasn't a gatekeeper. You know what I mean? Yeah. He was like, I want you to be the girl boss that I know you can be.

And so thus I'm not going to hide anything or make you solve anything. I'm just going to give you the recipe for it. And that is correct. Doesn't exist. Primal. Is there a Nick Cage movie called Primal? Yes, there is. And I only add it to the list.

Just this is the only movie where I wrote a description of it. Ew. This is straight from IMDb. OK, all right. An Amazon company. Sure, it is Frank's caught wildlife in the Brazilian jungle, including a 400 pound white jaguar. He ships it on the same ship as an arrested assassin.

The assassin breaks free and frees the animals. That's it. I would watch that movie. I kind of would too. Mostly just because I want to see what a white jaguar looks like. I just I love that very simple ass straight to the point synopsis. That's like the official one on IMDb. I just it kind of cracked me up.

Like the assassin breaks free and frees the animals. Oh, no, that sounds like quite the pickle. It's like snakes on a plane. Yeah, exactly. But with a jaguar. OK, OK, ready? We are down to the final like 13. What? That's a lot.

All right. Speed round. Jinx. Jinx again. Ew, that's from Frozen. Yeah, hey, the ghost. No, incorrect. It's real. Next one. Jiu Jitsu. No, incorrect.

That's real. The ant bully. Yes. Yes. That's real. Ghost writer Colin Hellflame. Yes, incorrect. Made it up. Damn it. He's in Ghost Rider and a sequel, but there's no Hellflame.

Kill me. No, correct. Made it up. Pig. Yes, I've seen that movie. Correct. Dog eat dog. Yes. Correct. Bats. No. Correct. Knowing.

Yes. Correct. Next. Yes. Correct. Rage. No. Incorrect. It's real. Damn. Fist. There was the other fist movie he was in, the Flaming Fists or something. Fist Fury. No, that was I made that up.

Fist of Fury was a made it up. Oh, then yeah, Fist. Yeah, it's real. Incorrect. I made that one up too. All right. Final two. Fly Mad. No. Correct. That's made up. Drive Angry. Right. I had to.

Finally, the unbearable weight of massive talent. Yes. That is correct. And that is the new movie that he is in. Oh, no way? Yes. Oh, I didn't know that. Yes. Yes. Yes. Where he plays an exaggerated version of himself. You did very well that quiz.

I did great. I did wonderfully. Yes. Yes. I would say I've gained admission to KG Pro. You want to try that sentence again? KG Pro. I've gained admission to KG Pro. I've gained admittance to KG Pro.

Brock would be proud. Brock would be, you know, we don't need Brock's acceptance because... Yeah. He's not collecting the tickets at the door. Is he? No. He's just another KG Pro goer, okay? It'd be like somebody at Coachella that paid for a general admission pass checking your

own ticket. Just like Coachella. Yeah. It's like Coachella. Jesus. All right. Is it time? I think it's horoscope time. Oh my goodness.

All right. So this week we are... Making up for a lost time. Well, but also we are channeling our most inner intuitive thoughts. And so we actually wanted to give you guys a little peek behind the scenes of what it is like channeling the spirits for horoscopes. Yes. So...

Is it still airy season? It is still airy season. It's somehow the 13th week of airy season. Right? Feels that way? Yeah. It feels that way because they're just like so dull. It's like... Like take the hint. Yeah.

But all right. Oh my gosh. Move on. So we are going to change up the horoscopes. And what we're going to do is we're going to give you guys a live reading of how we channel. Take my hand. And so Jack film and I have joined hands.

That's my drinking hand. I can't touch that. Oh, you can't give me that? Okay. Fine. It's fair. We have joined one hand each and we are going to channel the spirits live with you. For your listening pleasure.

Right now we're going to take turns channeling as we speak with no further ado. Airy. Airy. This horoscope is hella. Crazy. You might be visited by three underlying goblins named Margaret Vin Diesel and Colleen Goblins named Margaret Vin Diesel and Colleen Margaret once

Curly shoelaces Vin Diesel tries to play bongos with no toenails and Colleen can't write for shit. Thus the horoscope will commence. You can perish soon. We did it. All right. Wow.

Wait, we have one more. We do have one more. Yeah. That was hard. That was. Do you feel tired? I do because I was wrestling really freaking hard. Are you thinking about Margaret Vin Diesel and Colleen?

Those mischievous goblins. I think they're going to haunt me in my dreams tonight. With their toenailless bongo playing. And just inability to write. Yeah. Can't write for shit. All right. I think the gods can come again if we try really hard.

All right. All right. That was very taxing. It was. It was. But I think if we pull our spirits together. Yes. Yeah.

We can be attuned to the cosmos one more time. Okay. All right. Aries. Aries. Aries. You. Magnificent.

Bastards. You. Will. Parish. Unless. You. Listen. To.

These. Goblins. Margaret. Vin Diesel. And. Colleen. Margaret. Once.

Five. Caterpillars. Inserted. Into. A. Old. Sock. Why.

Because. Margaret. Vin Diesel. And. Colleen. Margaret. Once. Five.

Caterpillars. Inserted. Into. A. Old. Sock. Margaret. Craves.

Larva. Neat. Now. Vin Diesel. That's. A. Whole. Different.

Story. He. Desires. The. Lemon. Crystals. Under. Elon Musk's.

Pool. Aries. Aries. Aries. Aries. Aries. Aries. Aries.

Aries. Pool. So. Get. Colleen. With. That. Colleen.

Once. Very. Much. Two. Kiss. That. Elon Musk. Aries.

Aries. Aries. Aries. Aries. Aries. Aries. Aries. Aries.

Aries. Aries. Aries. Aries. Aries. Aries. Aries. Aries.

Aries. Aries. I. You. Elon. Work. Yeah. T D IZLE.

That's. Fair. Hation. You one cars. To. Much. About. Colleen.

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