Return Of The Hotline
00:00Welcome aboard via rail.Please sit and enjoy.Please sit and stretch.Steep.Flip.Or that.And enjoy.Via rail, love the way.
00:15Oh, welcome back, dear listeners, to a new episode of Aaron is the funny one.Hi, I'm Jack Film.Joining me, you have so many nicknames.I do.You hate when I call you Aaron Film.I deserve them all.Yeah, don't call me Aaron.Yeah, you can...
00:32Visibly disgusted.Only I can call myself Aaron Film.Chipwich is licking my back right now.Good girl.Your nicknames include two toes up, both toes up.Ernie.Ernie.Ernie Berzlin.
00:45Shamu from my Animal Crossing.That's right, your Animal Crossing days.Yes.And many, many more.So, yeah, anyway.What's up in your world, Jack Film?What are we doing?Well, I'll tell you what, Aaron.
00:59I don't like calling you.Aaron, sorry.Yeah, don't call me Aaron.That did not sound natural.Wait, guys, just, you know, every time he does call me Aaron, that's because I'm in trouble.And every time you call me Jack, Jack.No, that's not true.Yes, yes, it is.
01:12No, it's not.Sometimes I get scared because I don't know, I don't know where to locate you.Or there's like a spider.You're like, Jack, right behind you.No, it's a lot of times I say your name and you don't even hear me say your name.Sure.But I'm like saying it loudly throughout the house because I can't find you.get scared, but you're usually in the gym.
01:32We don't like using each other's names.It's babe or honey or honey or babe or baby.It's kind of the equivalent of when your parents call you by your full name.It kind of is.Yeah, yeah, yeah.So, honey, you asked what's in store today.I got a couple of goodies.This is going to be a fun episode, a very fun episode.
01:52Today, we are finally bringing back an old-ass tradition.Cancer season.Is that a tradition?It is.Have you not met the stars?They're a billions of years old.It is a tradition at this point.And it is cancer season.
02:07It is.But that's, we'll get to cancer season.We will.I mean, no, we're.Well, we're in cancer season.We have gotten to it.It is existing at the current moment.But you know what else is a tradition here on?
02:21What?Aaron is the funny one.What?The hotline, honey.Dad hug me 10.That's the hotline.Guys, full disclosure.You guys have been busy.
02:30It's really funny.I used to have full control over the hotline.I don't think Jack, like, ever spent time with it this past week.I have been a busy little girl boss B.I haven't explored on Dad Hug Me 10 yet.I have yet to, like, venture onto it.And so.This will be really fun if you haven't even seen it.
02:51I haven't seen it at all.And I am looking forward to reengaging, but because that used to be like literally,I'd spend hours.doing.Yeah, you would.I remember.I loved engaging with people.Like, I've just had a particularly pretty busy week.
03:08So I have not yet gone full force.But the time is, the time it is a coming.Let me know when you do get time because I've come across a couple of messages that I had tostop reading because people will specify both in texts.Do not show this to Jack.And voicemails, do not show this.Or like, Jack, if you're reading this, get the,fuck away.
03:30Yep.And I, and I avert my eye.I actually, listeners, I respect your wishes.I avert my eyes.Yeah.The hotline was my baby.Yeah.And I just, guys, I've been a deadbeat mom this past week.
03:41I just.Well, this dad's picked up the slack.Yes.So I just haven't been able to go full force.But rest assured that that will not be the case going forward.So we have some cool messages and texts I want to share with us.And for those listening, if you're like, wait, there's a hotline.I want to call in or text in.
03:59if you don't feel like calling in.It's dad hug me 10.Has your dad hugged you yet, by the way?I don't think he has.I don't think he picked up on the hint.I'm thinking.No, when I got picked up and picked up from the airportand dropped off at the airport.
04:21Are you fucking kidding.I got dad hugs.Jack?It was a joke.But I wanted to answer in earnest.Oh my God.It was a joke.Because my dad's up.
04:29Dad hug me.10 was a cry for help.Clearly, you don't make a hotline that unless you're, you know, not well.And his dad still hasn't hugged them to this day.That's right.That's right.Sorry I didn't pick up on the, on the,idiot.
04:44All right, we have a voicemail from, I believe, an anonymous caller, which is totally fine.You don't have, you are not obligated to leave your name.I'm going to turn the volume up.I'm going to blast as loud as I can.Oh, I love it.All right.Here you go.This is a good one.
04:58We're going to start with this really cool one.Hey, Jack and Aaron, Aaron and Jack.I am excited that the podcast is back.I had watched the first episode on YouTube.It's very well done.I'm excited.I'm happy.I can't wait for more.
05:17But it's pronounced Mario, not Mario.Mario, not Mario.Got them.Okay?I just, I need to get that out there.No.Jack, Jack, I'm backing you up on this.Yeah, you are.
05:29You're so right.I know normally you're not right, but like,Whoa.It's Mario.Super Mario brothers.No.No.Got them.
05:36Everyone pronounces it, Mario.I know you have your regional dialect, but it's wrong.No.No.So true.No.Anyways, yeah, that's all.Thanks for listening.
05:47Thank you.The podcast or brothers now watch it on YouTube.God, I hope this doesn't make it into the podcast.Bye.Okay.Well, it did because I love your take.For the record.Oh, yeah.
06:00For the record.For the record.Please.We have witnessed where more than half the entire population has been had a wrong take.And I'm going to throw in this take with that.If you say Mario, you're a Trumper.That's not the same equivalency.Apples and fucking oranges.
06:32No, that's, if you ever try to correct me again, I'm going to throw you in that bucket.That's too, honey, that's too extreme.I will, and I'm going to neutralize, I'm going to, what's it, like, neutralize your vote.What do you call that?It's a wash.I don't know.Yeah, yeah, yeah.I'm going to cancel out your vote.
06:48Okay, so guys, listen, listen, listen.As much as I, in private, I actually talk about the goings on of the world quite a bit with Jackfilm, poor guy.Uh, I will say though that I do try to like, I don't know, keep it kind of to myself, even as impot.If you knew me in real life, you'd know that like, bitch, you don't keep anything to yourself.Like, you are like.Open book.Not even an open book, but like the no filter thing, it's a little bit of a problem sometimes.Um, because what, how I describe it is I tell people I have a disease.
07:27if you ask me a question, I am going to tell you the truth.Yeah, whether you want to hear it or not.And it's a disease because like I don't have...Even if it's a mean truth, you're going to tell it.Your truth teller.I'm going to be, I'm going to try to be as like nice as possible about it.But like there are certain times where I'm not going to be your yes man if that's what you're looking for.Right.
07:48Anyway, as my mom would call me, feisty.Ficey is a great word for you.Yeah.Your mom nailed that.Um, I feel entitled to talk shit on that populace.Sure.Because I was taken advantage of in my Uber.Oh, yeah.
08:08Or a Lyft.Just the other day.Yeah.Two days ago, my Lyft driver hijacked the conversation, which, by the way, it was a Lyft blackbecause my, I wasn't paying for it.I'll just say that.Because I wasn't paying for it.It was a Lyft black.
08:23Mm-hmm.And those are supposed to be the next.nicer experiences.And while the car was nice,this man, I did not care to talk to or know about his opinions or thoughts on anything,let alone politics.And mind you, for the 37-minute ride that I had,I learned about how Donald Trump is a great businessman and he's very smart.
08:50And when I tried to disagree with him and I said, sorry, sir,I can't even fully comprehend most of his opinions because they're deranged.And his delivery is so unprofessional and inhumane.And he did not care for that.I have a lot of deliveries.All right.They're the best.And anyway.
09:10So I just, oh, Christ.That's your problem.You invite conversation.Listen, I was on my way to a dinner with a friend and we were going to have really fancy margaritas and nice wine.and I just wanted to have fancy margaritas and nice wine.What you should have done is once you entered,when you entered the lift,you should have already been playing the stupid,
09:34whatever phone puzzle game you've been playing for the last week.Which one? Which one?Wait, there's more than one?All of them.Oh, no.Oh, my God.Oh, my God.But you know what I mean?
09:43Guys, guys, this is so embarrassing.This is so embarrassing because it's literal brain rot,straight up brain rot.Yeah.Brain rot.And I recognize that.And that's today.No, I'm not, I'm not shitting you.
09:55When I tell you what games, what games it is.Oh no.What are you doing?You were going to be like, oh my God, Aaron.I thought it was just the one.I thought it was just like a tap to like find the frog in the maze or whatever.Okay, so that's what I was doing.Yeah.
10:06And then I ran out.There are no more left.Oh, you like did it all.You like did all the puzzles.I did all the puzzles.So you had to make, you had to get another game.So I was doing like almost like a where's Waldo of sorts.Yeah, that's what it was.
10:15Yeah.It was on the app.It's on the app.It's on the app.They have like a scavenger hunt side of the appWhere you can like gain I don't knowPoints and coinsDopamine points yeah but also like but you just have to like
10:30Oh find seven hedgehogs in this photoAnd like then find paper oh my GodAnd like I was likeI don't even give a shit about two dotsI want to play I just want to play the scavenger huntSo then I ran out of scavenger huntBecause I did them allJesus and if I tell you I spent $25 on that app
10:50buying more coins.No.So I can play more scavenger hunts until I fully run out.I did do that.Oh, I think you have a problem.If it makes you feel any better.Now I'm saying Aaron.One time?
11:00I know.Yeah.See, this guy's guys, I'm in trouble.I spent 25 bucks.Aaron.I spent 25 bucks on fucking in-game purchases.Oh, Aaron.Yeah.
11:11For.Oh, Aaron.Dandy crush.The equivalent.Yeah, yeah, pretty much.It's no better.Okay, wait.No.
11:17Oh, wait.Hold on.Hold on.So,Stop pulling your head.Here's a thing.Here's a thing.Sometimes I would be like looking for these items and scavenger hunt for quite some time.
11:29And so you can quote unquote buy a hint without actually using dollars, but your time.If you watch an ad.And so then I would watch an ad for royal match or royal kingdom.Oh no.And you were like, I want to play that.It worked on you.It worked on you.The ad worked on you.
11:46I swear.Guys, listeners, I tell Aaron every single.night when she's on TikTok that she is a marketer's dream.Because so many products.Listen, the guy was getting crushed by rocks and all we had to do was put the candycrushes together.No, I don't care.I don't care.
12:02To relieve him of the crushing rocks.I know what game you're talking about.I've seen those ads.Yeah, it's like playing a slot machine.Okay.You buy so much shit because of TikTok ads.No, it wasn't on TikTok.No, but you buy products though.
12:15Yeah, I do.Yeah, I do.Thank you.I do.Thank you for admitting that.Yeah, I do.I spend.Yeah.
12:19might be my most use app.Yeah.Like things I buy from.Marketers dream.Yeah.Anyway.Besides the point.Is it?
12:27But so, so I download Royal Match.And do you remember yesterday last night when I, when I was talking to myself and I go,I don't even understand this fucking game.Do you remember?So you talk to yourself so much during the day that I don't remember that.It was at night because I was playing.No, honey, I don't.I can honestly remember.
12:51I can honestly tell you I don't remember that.I don't even like.Don't start Royal Match.Here's the thing.This is what I'm,this is what I'm concerned about right now.I'm not kidding.It feels like playing a slot machine.
13:01And by the way,like no hate to slot machines,but like there are a very fast wayto lose all your money.Right.Chaching,cha-ching,chiching.
13:10Chiching.Booh,sure.Bing,Bing,Bing,bongongong,bongong,
13:14Oh,I feel like I'm back in Vegas.Wow.Okay, so.That was so realistic.Royal match was, I was like, fuck, like literally earlier today, I was like, fuck this.And I deleted it.And I don't delete shit.
13:28Oh, you got mad mad, mad.I got mad.Aaron got mad.I deleted the app.I was like, fuck this.I don't get this game.I don't like this game.I think it's rigged.
13:36I fully think they don't even give you the options that you need to be able to succeed.Anyway, so get this.Then I'm playing two dots again.I go back to the two dots.Because here's what I'm currently worried about.There is some sort of chemical,not even deficiency,depletion going on in my brain right now.
13:59Bye, bye.Like, the fact that I keep going back to these gamesthat are just time wasters that I recognizeand it's just like hours of my life.And then the next day I wake up and I go,how is it June already?Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.When did that happen?
14:17I haven't even started.on myJune 24.Oh my God.Like,like,like, it's becausethis is what I'm doing.
14:25I'm just going,I'm in thisfucking tunnel.Yeah.Of,pull the lever.Right.Pull the lever.
14:31Right.Trigger the dopamine.Sure.It's fucked up.It's fucked up.Don't.It's like smoking cigarettes.Maybe, probably.
14:37I don't know.I'll bet there's going to be a studyif there's not one already.Comparing like,you know,the addictive properties of,um,apps to nicotine.
14:46It is.Guys,it's a problem.Don't start.Do not start.Do not download two dots.Do not download royal.Well, anyway, so get this.
14:55So I'm on royal dots maybe?I don't fucking know.I don't know.It was something.After I deleted Royal Match.And then who pops up on my cell phone screen?No.Not other than Jimmy Fallon.
15:08Oh, God.What's he plugging?Royal Kingdom.God damn it.Who, which is different than Royal Match.There's a different king.Their brothers maybe.but one looks young and one looks old. No, Jack, it's different.
15:22Oh, it is. I'm sorry. Jimmy Kimmel or Jimmy Fallon will tell you. One of the Jimmy's will tell you. And I'm thinking, oh my God. How much money do you think he got for that? Like ballpark. Yeah. Do we think 10 million maybe?Whatever is not enough because Jimmy Fallon is a fucking jewel in the late night rotation.Does he get a like, what's the word? Like a royalties or residual? Yeah. Like does he get something?I doubt it. No, no, no. I think it's a one. Like that has to be like. That has to be like.a one and done. There's no way. Like, I'm sure they like, they, they pay for his likeness for likeone big, like ad where he's like, whoa. It had to have been. How, like, where is their moneycoming from? Baby, do your famous Jimmy Fallon impression. Hey, it's me. Jimmy Fallon. Welcome tothe Universal Studios Hollywood tour. That's not bad. I mean, it's pretty bad. That wasn't terrible.
16:10But guys, I've been on that fucking studio tour so many times. And it's actually not bad.And I got to tell you guys. I like that one. I like that. I actually think he's not.He might be funnyLike I mean he got hired on SNL for some reasonHe was pretty good on SNLHe broke in every skipp and he could do impressionsAnd play music and shitHe's dead inside now
16:28It's goneOh sureAll he does is things that will make him moneyIt is no longer about actually being funnyWell any fake laughsHe's very good of fake laughing during interviewCelebrity interviewsSo are you?
16:41Is that what you said?YeahNo but your laughsEspecially at my jokes are genuineWait that was funnyThat was guys if you have toexplain that's even funny.That actually hurt.
16:49Okay, okay, okay.That wasn't funny.That actually really hurt my feeling.Anyway, so Royal Kingdom still feels slot machine-esque.Uh-huh.But I do like it better than the other one.My God.So it fucking works.
16:59So Jimmy was right.But don't download it.So.It is literally if you just want, like, oh, I have too much brain.We should get rid of some of it.For all you guys, for all you listeners and viewers out there, if you're, if you feel likeyour brain's leaking a little too much and you're just those IQ points,are starting to head into a surplus, Aaron can fix that for you.
17:22That's the opposite of a leak.No.You said if your brain is leaking too much.Yeah. It's leaking because there's so much juice, brain juice.It's like a fridge that you stuff with too much food.Sounds like your brain's leaking away.No. No.When a brain leaks, that's already bad.
17:43That's on the negative.Honey, let me try to recap these events so far.Okay.Wait, how many of the hotline things did you want to listen to?Like, I think a combined total of maybe three.Okay.And we listen to one.But like, just so you know, just to recap, an awesome caller called in and was right
18:03about the pronunciation of Mario, which you then equated to somehow the population thatvoted for Trump.Yeah.Which led to the Lyft Black story, which led to somehow.dopamine addiction phone apps and Jimmy Fallon.Guys, I'm concerned about myself.Yeah.Pray for me.
18:26We all are.Thoughts and prayers.We're still on.From Searchlight Pictures comes, Is This Thing On?Directed by Bradley Cooper and starring Canada's own Will Larnett.Is This Thing On is the story of a man's unconventional journey to find himself.Seeking new purpose in the New York stand-up comedy scene while navigating his impending divorce.Is This Thing on?
18:48is a raw, authentic, and hilarious story about discovery,reinvention, and second chances in life.C is this thing on.Now playing in theaters.But back to Dad Hug Me 10.Oh, that guy.Yeah.That guy.
19:03I got a couple more for you, all right?Okay, okay, okay, okay.I got a quick one and then another, like, minute long one.Do you want the quick one or the long one?Long one.Okay.You're going to like this one.Doubt it.
19:14Because I don't like this one, or at least the opening.Doubt it.I think from another anonymous caller, which is fine.We don't like.Yeah.And again, if you have anything to either say to leave in a voicemail or you just want to textfrom the comfort of your own, you know, mobile app, whatever.Dad, hug me 10.
19:33Shut up.God damn it.Okay, here we go.Hello, Jack and Aaron.Hello.I'm going to say, so excited that the podcast is back.Same.I totally agree with Aaron's review of the Barbie movie.
19:46I personally did enjoy it, but I totally think it is a way.reflection of how the orange man got into power and how society let that happen.So really loved hearing your review on that.I love the podcast.It's great.It's just like how it used to be.Oh, thank you.For the horoscopes, I will say, though, that I noticed when I listened to the original
20:06episodes, you kept skipping over the Aquarius season when it would come around.And I'm just so offended as an Aquarius because being an Aquarius, I don't know what thatfucking means at all.No, that's on us.I feel so left out, and I wish that you guys could do something to remedy this.Okay.Other than that, it was great, and the auto captions are definitely putting the words on the screen that you say out loud.Oh, thanks, bye.
20:33Sorry, I love it.Not that you like the auto captions, just like the auto captions are definitely putting the words on the screen.They are there.They are there.True.No, okay, a couple of things.First off, they agreed with your Barbie.review.
20:49Mm-hmm.But I feel like they got to the same answer, but they used different equations, right?Because they said, like I have a little transcription here.Reflection of how the Orange Man got into power and how society let that happen.Loved hearing a review.So, and I feel like you hated it for different reasons, but you also didn't like it,same as the caller.You didn't like it because of the hypocrisy, right, of the board being represented by white men
21:16when in reality it's all, right?Yeah. Why is that funny? Why are you, oh, ha ha ha. Yeah, this is the truth. It's like, it's like, oh, yeah. I just like Will Ferrell, but like, you know. I did murder those people.Oops. It's the same thing. Exactly same thing. But, but, but, but, but I think the more important thing to, to gleam from this, gleam or glean?Glean. I do this every time and it puts down in ninkum poop. Oh, I like that. Gleen.Glein. The more important thing to glean from this, the caller says, well, they're offended as an Aquarius that we allegedly skipped over their whole goulding season.Okay, I'm going to be for real. Be so for real.We did? I have no memory of this. Again, guys, I'm so sorry. I really haven't listened. As forgettable as an Aquarius, right?I really haven't listened. Like, back to our. Yeah, you know, the old ones, sure. But we've recorded for a year.
22:12So let's do this. I want to do something here. Didn't we do June to June?Very possibly.I don't recall the exact.I do not recall.I do not recall.Oh, no one in particular, just like, just someone on the stand, just like convenientlysaying, I do not recall.I've been, guys, I've been making Jack watch a lot of courtroom videos recently.
22:36Of what, the Karen Reed trial, right?Did we talk about the Karen Reed trial yet?I don't know if we have, actually.Guys, look into it.This is Aaron's jam.By the time this.The Karen retrial is Aaron's jam.By the time this episode comes out.
22:50It is very likely that Karen Reid's fate will have already been decided.But as of the time that we are recording this, closing arguments have just begun.That's exciting stuff.So anyway, but I want to get back to the Aquarius of it all, okay?Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.I think in lieu of our allegedly forgetting an Aquarius horoscope, I think we should do one on the spot right now.Okay.And I think we should do it in the way that we kind of used to, like, where it's kind of
23:26mad-libes.Finish each other's sandwich.Damn it.Yeah, exactly.Yes.Yeah.One word at a time.So, so to the-
23:32-Jack doesn't eat bread, okay?Shut up.He's carb-phobic.To the caller that called it and to all Aquarius is out there who are listeningand watching.And if you feel left out that we never properly gave you horoscopes for Aquarius season,rest assured that we are going to remedy that right now.
23:50now. Take it away, honey. Give me a word.Yay. It's timefor theabsolutemostlegitimatefancyhoroscope of
24:05alltheAquariuses. I was trying to avoid sayingAquarius. I know, but I want to like get there.And I know, I see you trying to avoid it.I see in your eyes and I'm like, no, we're gettingthere. Because we have this, I'm honoringthis collar. And you're being a little imp. You're being a trollish imp, and I don't care for it.
24:26All right. So for all the Aquariuses. Forever?In time.Today. I.Eight.Period.You.Nevertheless.Persisted.
25:06And?Furthermore.Flailed.Flailed?Do you not know?I know flailed.Okay.Wait.
25:15Hold on.Floundered.Thank you.I was actually about to say it's like floundered and you actually took the words out of my mouth.Right.So wait, what was it was like?You persisted and floundered.And floundered.
25:26Terrible horse.But.We.Nevertheless.less hateScorpiosI don't fucking knowMen
25:42No that noScorpio's menWhat yeahIs it the star of a new sentence?NoHow about let's say it isOkay menAre
25:51AwfulYayWhat you want more?YeahWe can keep this goingI youOkayOkay
26:01All right okayMen are awfulButMen are awful butMenalso are necessarybarelycheers I think that's a good ending
26:15so there you go Aquarius isI hope you feel justifiedI hope you feeljust a sense of completiona sense of what's that story structurewhere it's like reallysatisfactorylike cathartic
26:35happy endingYeah, I had that too.Well, yeah.Ew.Ew.I hope you get all of the happy endings and catharticism.Ew.Exorcism.
26:45That's it.That was it, but I loved that.Okay.So that was from one of the many, many people who called in, Dad Hugged Me 10.I do have one more call that I just want to play.And I'm sorry.It's kind of, it's more for me than is for you, honey.I'm sorry.
27:03But it made me so happy to hear.I just want to comment on.it okay.Okay.Yet another anonymous caller and then there is at least a text or two that I want to share it.That is more directed towards you, my love.You.All right, here we go.
27:19Excuse me soft.First off.Wait, that was it.Yeah, that was it.I told you it was short.I just, I love so many things about this.I love, first off, thank you so much for saying my favorite catchphrase,urm ex-squee-me sauce and just laughing with like a a ghoulish cackle, a goblinesque.
27:44But I do want to, I got a question for you, for the caller and for you, honey, and for thelisteners, just, um, it sounded like they say um, ex-squee-me sauce and like, I'm more of an erm.Like, I love the awkwardness that is, erm, and for some reason I just gravitate towards that.Do you say irm or um?Like, um, when you're like trying to find the word.It's funny that you ask that because do you want to know one of the coolest hacks I've ever learned?Yes, actually.If you look somebody in the eye, you will not say either.
28:19That is a cool hack.And you did, it is the craziest coolest hack.Tell us how you know about that.I took a, um, presentate, because I broke eye time.I can.Exactly.No, she is seriously.Yeah, yeah, yeah.
28:33Hold on.I'm going to make eye contact with you the entire time.Lock eyes, honey.Yeah.I took a presentation skills class at my last company and I took it a handful of times.The second you look away people.And she's doing it right now.She's looking away and she's getting hesitant and then she catches herself.
28:51Yes.It's fascinating.As long as you're making eye contact with somebody, you will not say, um.Isn't that cool?It is, it is honestly the craziest hack.That's a genuinely cool life hack.as you are making eye contact,it will make you realize
29:07if you do say um,which I doubt you will.Yeah.As so long as you're continuing the eye contact.Maintaining it, yeah.And by the way,I just looked up at the ceiling when I said, uh.She did.
29:19Canna farm.Kenna tested that.It will feel wild.Yeah.When you realize that like you do not have the sense or desire or urge or whateverthat is that subconscious.just like,yeah,
29:32yeah,yeah,yeah.It's just a placeholder.It will not existso long as you'remaking eye contactwith somebody.
29:39Isn't that fascinating?Like when you first told methat,honey,like years ago.Yeah.That stuck with me.Yeah.
29:45I need to practice that more.It's tough for meto practice.I don't have a lot of peopleto look at.I don't have peopleto look at.When I'm filming,
29:53all I have to look atis the camera lens,right?So that's my eye.And I have...Do you say,uh,to the camera?
29:59Probably.I'm sure a lot.But like,it does kind of train me to be aware in the moment.Like my enemy, when I'm recording, when I'm filming, streaming, it's dead air, dead air.And it pisses me off when I see these like, I'm sorry, this is kind of, I'm gettingon my little soapbox.This is kind of my rant.
30:21But it pisses me off when I see these incredibly popular, successful live streamers onTwitch and elsewhere, and they're doing, fuck all.there's so much dead air, whether they're playing a game or reading chat and there's a lot of,talk about us and ums. Oh my God, they are the kings and queens of, uh, uh, let me, uh,and they're not captivating and then they have like five figure concurrent viewers.Okay, wait, so let's be for real then. Yeah, be so for real. Why? What is the draw?They cover controversial topics, I think typically. They've just become the,voice of drama. I think that's a lot of these people. I don't want to name names because I, you know,
31:05Keemstar. I'm not here. Well, I don't care about burning that bridge, but like I don't want to,no, fuck that dude. But honestly, like, a lot of these people do have the viewerships, the,the loyal audiences. And they have that because they cover like, you know, oh, guess who just felloff or like, you know, guess what this thing. This video game flopped.because it's woke.It's shit like that.I swear to God.And they have...
31:36People tune in,even if they're notconstantly being engagedjust to like...Yes, because they're a fan of that guy.They're a fan of the person.Huh.Yes.
31:45And they subscribe to that.So I'll...Every once in a while,you know,and comparison is the thief of joy.But like, you know,you gotta like do your research.So I'll check in on these channels
31:58that have fucking like 50,000concurrent viewers onTwitch or whatever, doesn't matter.And it's just dead air.And it kills me.And it's like, what is fascinating about this?Nothing.Guys, if you could text or call in to Dad Hug Me 10.
32:15Dad hug me 10.Jack needs a hug from his dad.Way to bring it back.Way to bring it full circle.And if you could just like let us know why you would rather watch.videos of peoplewho don't, yeah, who don't do shitUm, they don't do shit.
32:39It will make Jack feel like he's getting a hug from his dad.We all need that.Don't we all need a hug from our dad?Sure do.Sure do.All right.It's quiz time?Almost.
32:49Sorry.Yes.But the last thing I want to say about the dad hug me 10 hotline,someone texted a really cool idea to you for you.Yay!And here's what they write.Hi, Aaron.I have a segment idea for you.
33:03Eggs.Eggs.Eggs.Standing for.Aaron's great girl boss segment.EGGS.Aaron's great girl boss segment.Wait, I actually love, I love this idea.
33:19It gets better.Okay.Oh, okay.Okay.Who is this person?Because I want them to like co-host.We'll never know.We'll never know.
33:26Because that's not true.I text back.That's all.that is true. I forgot that you could fucking do that. I'm so stupid. You are so stupid. I'm so stupid. That's the whole, yes. A big draw of the hotline is that sometimes Aaron texts back. Yes. I text back. Do you ever call back? Well, remember we used to call people? Yeah. And like, see if they would answer. Yeah. Remember? We should, we should do a thing. We should do an episode where we let people know we're filming live and then so that they know we're active so that we can take actual calls. Yeah. We'll do that at some point. Yeah. Not yet. Yeah. Okay. Anyways, they continue. So,eggs, okay, which stands for Aaron's great girl boss segment.And they continue, where you do one of your famous capitalism and men rants as a fellowgirl boss in corporate America, ooh, and a hater of men, I strongly relate to yourrants and would like to hear more.
34:20Go off queen.So I love that segment.I can't remember, sorry guys, old age sucks.I can't remember if I mentioned this recently.But since we ended our first season,of the...Call it a season, fuck it.Of the podcast and are now starting back.
34:45I have since moved companies.I have a new job.Same but totally different.A lot of my experiences that I can probably speak tohappened at my last job.Yeah.Yeah, I agree.One that immediately stands out is, oh, God, how there was in 2020,
35:07four.Yeah, 2024.I was, I think one of 15 people in a room and I was the only woman.Not that that matters, but you know what it, but it does matter.Yeah, yeah, for sure.Anyway.You can't not feel that.So just to give you a little bit of background of like, and by the way, I did love almost
35:25all of the men in that room.So it's nothing against them.It's mostly about the system.You can still say men are trash.It's fine.It's kind of your thing.Yeah.I loved most of the men in those in that room.
35:37They were wonderful, wonderful people, are wonderful people.But anyway, I would love that.Eggs, honey.Erenges is a great girl boss segment.That is a wonderful acronym.I love it.That's an acronym, right?That's what you call acronym.
35:51Yes, that's an acronym.Yeah, okay.Just making sure.The difference being an initialism.Where it's not a word.Where it's not a word.Right.Right.
35:58Right.Right.Right.Right.Yes.There you go.And now you learned something today.Love this text.
36:02Whoever you are, thank you for sending that in.Thank you.I'm going to text back.Don't let me forget.Yeah.Yeah.Yeah.I won't.
36:09I won't.And honestly, like, listeners, I hope you know how much time Aaron used to, and I'm sure in the verynear future will put into the hotline in terms of like reading your messages andanswering back when, when appropriate, when applicable, you reallyreally did, you used to spend hours doing that. And I love that we somehow magically remember thepassword, got the access back. Maybe this will be my new dopamine hit. Oh my God. This is so muchmore constructive than your fucking royal match games. Like, come on. I know. Aaron. I know. This isjust harder because it requires more mental work. No, but you, you like this. You like this.
36:49And it's way more rewarding. Let's be fucking real. I do. I know. I like it. I like socializing. You guyshave been awesome. You listeners have been so... You are a social butterfly. You are a social butterfly. And youlisteners have been so... What's the word? Oh, forgetting the word. Just not constructive.Just like so supportive in your feedback regarding the podcast return. I also appreciate you guys stuckwith us. Yeah. Honestly, it was a three year gap and you guys are still here. And we are so, we're sothankful that you guys stuck around and like waited for us. Like that, that goes a long effing way. So thank youso freaking much for not leaving and fleeing.I agree.
37:28I mean, I remember when Jack would tell me, people are asking about the podcast.Oh, my God.No, they're not.The last three years.The last three years, you guys have been asking for the podcast.And we've been trying to find the best way to bring it back over the last three years.And thank goodness, we found a way, damn it.Yeah.
37:46At Medcan, we know that life's greatest moments are built on a foundation of good health,from the big milestones to the quiet winds.That's why our annual health assessmentoffers a physician-led, full-body checkupthat provides a clear picture of your health todayand may uncover early signs of conditionslike heart disease and cancer.The healthier you means more moments to cherish.
38:08Take control of your well-beingand book an assessment today.Medcan. Live well for life.Visit medcan.com slash moments to get started.Honey, are you ready for this week's quiz?I'm like kind of ready.I'm like sort of kind of.maybe ish ready.
38:25Well, then you have a choice.A couple of choices, right?We could pick up where we left off because where we last left off was a rivetingcelebrity Twitter quiz where who or X, you know, whatever you want to call it,who tweeted that.And that was a lot of fun.And we still have plenty more to go.Yeah?
38:43Yeah.Or what's my other option?I'll give you some other options.Your other options are a quiz where you have to discern whether the thing.is a prescribed, like, drug prescription pill or a Pokemon, because neither of us know shit aboutPokemon.Kill me.Or, or, or, meme coin, real or fake.
39:06Since last we left off, there have been so many shit coins, meme coins, that it'simpossible to discern what's real and what's not.Okay.Can I give you my vote?Sure.That Twitter quiz was a lot of.I'm like, okay, so here's my thing.Yeah, yeah, yeah.
39:21What's your thing?Not that, like, I hate that you were like, can I give you my opinion?Because no.Like, nobody really cares about your opinion.True, true.Of those options, the tweets, the formerly known as Twitter.Right, right.And tweets, quiz reigns superior to those.
39:42That said, I'm coming up with the quiz for the next episode.Oh, Aaron.Because no offense, bra.That ain't it.really really oh all right i'm gonna do something really good something really there's a glimmer in her eyes that listeners i'mtrying to do justice describing but she is determined i don't know what it is yet she doesn't no no no buti'm gonna come up with i know it's something i'm trying to oh it's it's it's blinding this glimmer oh my goshall right well then in that case let me pull
40:21up who tweeted it part due and by the way uh to my amazing council that put together this quiz boththis quiz and last week's twitter quiz um i mean there i can't give you guys enough props i i don't want tospeak for both of us no don't okay then i'll speak for me i had a freaking blast i thought it was aperfect quiz lots of fun i wouldn't say perfect because one of the questions had the sameDid I have Justin Dipper like twice.Yeah.Yep.Yep.
40:54Guys, it ruined the tour.Wait.What tour?The world tour.Thank you.Remember that.I never forgot it.Yeah, clearly, right.
41:06Okay, honey, here we go.Who tweeted this to the squeakwell?Hello once again, gamers.Multiple choice.Four options.Chip is gasping out of boredom.Just so much.Those are so noisy.
41:21I'm trying to.sleep. Okay. So, and you and I have this thing where we try to, before we even see the four choices,the four options, we try to guess the celebrity. And I want to, I want to continue doing that.Okay. Okay. Okay. Here we go. Now, this is from 2010, a tweet from August of 2010.Wow. That was before I met you. I had like, dude. Do you know how old I was in 2010?I didn't even move to L.A. in August 2010. Wait, August of 2010.I'm still a Maryland boy.I was 23 years old.
41:56I just turned 23.Jeez.Yeah.A be bebe.I was a bebe.Oh, bebe.All right, here's a tweet from some celebrity.I can't believe my grandmother's making me take out the garbage.
42:11Justin Bieber.Justin Bieber.Wait, Selina Gama.Wait, we're not talking with a tweet, baby, for the listeners.I'm rich.Fuck this.I'm going home.I don't need this shit.
42:22Kanye.Okay.Classic Kanye before he went, you know, local.You think it sounds like Kanye?No, I'm going to say actually, well, I would say Selena Gomez only because I feellike there was maybe a grandmother involved.Okay.And like it had to be somebody that's old enough now.
42:44Maybe Justin Bieber had a grandmother involved.A lot of options.I'm going to say Bieber.Wait, was Bieber an answer on the last one?Um, I don't think so, but I also wouldn't bet my life.I'm gonna say Bieber.This, it gives Bieber energy and I'm pretty sure Bieber was around at this point.Okay.
43:02I, wait, actually.Yes.That might not be true.When did Bieber hit the scene?I think it was around this time.No, I think it was like, baby, baby.Was that not?That could have been like 2012.
43:13No, not that late.He's not that old.I need you.Okay.Can I say something?Yeah.No.I actually know.
43:21the answer to this one.Okay. So you're cheating. Okay.Yes. This one, because this is a great, this is a wonderful tweet that I somehow remember exactlywho said it. I'm not going to say it. Okay. Okay. I will let you see the options and pick yoursfirst, but I know the right answer. Okay. It is giving male energy. Okay. Yeah. Okay. Well,hold on to that. Maybe you're right. Yeah. And maybe you're not. Maybe. Here are the options. Okay.ShackCharlie Sheen
43:53No50 centRicky JervaisIt's eitherSo I'm gonna sayIt's either Shaq or 50 centHere's the thing thoughAt one point 50 cent
44:03File for bankruptcyLikeThat may have been likeMaybe 2015But guys don't quote me on thatBecause likeNo we're quoting on you on thatTime is a flat circle
44:17And like I have no ideawhat's up or down at all.Listen to you, quote, and true detective.Okay, so.Who tweeted that?Can't believe my grandmother's making me take out the garbage.I'm rich.I'm going to say that's 50 cent.
44:31Final answer.Because he is actually, he's kind of funny, but he's also a trumper.And that's fine or whatever.Wait, he's a trumper.Yes.I didn't know if 50 cent was a trumper.Yep.Fitty.
44:41Yeah.Fitty.Boo.Yeah.Can I say something?Sure.It is 50 cent.Yeah.
44:47It's 100% 50 cent.Yeah.he's petty as fuck remember when he bought ityou remember when he bought out the like the first two rowsof like I don't even remember who his concert wasI think it was jaws jaw rules I think sobut just because he's a petty littleyou know I love the pettiness
45:05are we sure he's a trumper I'm like 95%if that's true that really sucks yeahokay the correct answer50 cents is 50 cents yesthere you go he used to do some reallyRemember back in like 2018?Remember back then when he, oh my God, Jack, we didn't talk about the wine of the week?Well, we, no, we skipped it because we didn't have a wine in the week.
45:31I know.That's why we talked so long about Dad Hubbing 10.But Jack, people are going to be like, what the fuck.Baby, we'll do it better next time.But we talked, I think we made enough time.Maybe I didn't even think about it until just now.Baby, it's always on my mind.Baby.
45:48Bibit.Bibet.Anyway,okay,okay,he,what was I talking about?We were talking about
45:5450 cent,2018.Oh,remember he like,there was likesome real housewives dramawhere he had likemaybe lent money
46:02to somebody and likethe guy had liketexted himand he called himFofty.Yeah,I remember Fafty.Yeah, yeah,
46:12yeah, yeah, yeah.So like he's been embroiledin some other dramabut he always airshis like dirty lawnHe does.He does.He finds,
46:20I think he finds it funny.It's fair it is often.Yeah, but I'm also.Hate that he's a drummer.I know.It kills me.Yeah.It kills me.
46:29Yeah.But anyways, the answer is 50 said.Yeah.And again, the tweet for listeners is, I can't believe my grandmother's making me take outthe garbage.I'm rich.Fuck this.I'm going home.
46:38I don't need this shit.Where do you think he hit his assets?Yeah.Sweden.I don't know.Atlantis?Atlantis.Atlantis.
46:44In the lost reserves of Atlantis.With the mur.people. That's right. I mean, I don't know that I would trust them to give me my money back if I weregoing to hide my assets there. Yeah, they don't have a great track record. Great film though.You would know. What is that supposed to mean? So when I think of, you know what's really messed upabout Atlantis? Tell me. I no longer imagine like mermaids and mermen and mere people. Pretty littlemermaids like Ariel and like our friends. You don't, okay, what do you picture when you hear Atlantis?I'm like from fucking Harry Potter
47:18Where they've got likeThey're hideousI knowThat's how I picture them nowWhy do you picture that?Just because you've rewatched those moviesSo many timesI don't know
47:29I don't know but I just think they're likeThey're not good looking mur peopleNo, I'm sorryThat's a hot take listenersThey got likeThey're scaryUhahaUhaha
47:40Shark teethYeah noWe're mashingWe're mashingSo many different propertiesand IPs.I think this is what getting old is.I think getting old is just...
47:51What's that movie again with Ariel and, oh yeah, Fofty, right.Fafty was the rapper who was in Fish Tale, right?Oh, no.Shark.That's what getting old is going to be.We just constantly confuse IPs and franchises.We go, which Harry Potter movie was Robert Downey Jr. in?Was that the...
48:16Chronicles of Narnia or it's just all going to get tied together in a blob and a blur.Can I tell you about.No, you can because we have a quiz to do.I really don't want to do the quiz.I love to talk about Narnia now.Can we talk?So, honey, I have a question for you.Do we have to finish this quiz?
48:39No, that's what I was going to ask.Like, should we, we could save this for a rainy day and move on?Because you talked for an hour about fofty.I have lore.I have, see, this is what, this is what happens in my brain.Oh, please walk us through that.I have laser beams that shoot through my head, right?Mm-hmm.
49:03And they're all just the, sorry, Chip, which is being so.She's a toddler.She's being a toddler right now.Okay, you have laser beams in your head.I have laser beams in my head going off on all different colors, all different directions,all different heights and lengths.But they're all these just like random thoughts and like somewhat connected memories that...Wait, when did he get...
49:36When did he file for bankruptcy?Is he a Trumper?And so what you guys are hearing is just the collection of all of the laser beams going off in my head.I feel a little like us like medium or whatever that goes into a trance and then just starts spewing words.Right, right.And then on the back end, once I come out of it, we collectively have to help piece this treasure map that I've put out there altogether.And that's where you come in.You isn't the listeners, like all of you guys.
50:21Don't put that on them.That shouldn't be their responsibility.Piecing together the mosaic, that is your laser tails.Some days are better than others, okay?No, no, no, no, listeners are all like this.No, they're all like this.That's fucking bullshit.Some days are more coherent than that.
50:49No, no, no.Recording that, like starting to record this podcast episode took about 30 triesbecause someone kept getting distracted.I was like, wait, Jack, I need to show you something.And forwarded me like three screenshots of LinkedIn profiles.This is so real.This is every day.This is every day.
51:12This is every day.I was on LinkedIn earlier today.By the way, I hate LinkedIn.I hate it.I actually, if this will tell you anything about me, it's that two years ago almost,I wanted to reach out to somebody because at my old company, I had a job posting open, and I wanted to message somebody who had applied to the job to be like, hey, I'm really interested.I'd love to schedule time to chat, like whatever.So, but in order to message them, I had to pay for like LinkedIn gold or some shit, LinkedIn premium.
51:47I don't know.I have since, one, I never heard back from that person.Two, totally ended up hiring somebody completely different in September of 2023.Three, I don't even work at that company or in that position anymore.But four, I have never canceled it simply because I just have forgotten.So I have this like premium LinkedIn subscription that I pay for.So you might as well get some mileage out of it.But, well, I hate LinkedIn.
52:16I hate it.I hate LinkedIn.It's so cringy.But you love to hate it.No.I never go on it.I go on literally like maybe once a month.I think we should do an episode where we censor like the profile pictures and names and we just put on blast very cringe LinkedIn profiles.
52:34So I was on.Because that's what Aaron was showing me today.Three people that I'm connected with on LinkedIn.One has an AI generated photo of a complete stranger.Fucking cringe.And it just says,I asked AI.I asked chat GPT what like it thinks I look like, L.O.L.
52:56And what's funny is that I actually, I know this person in real life and I actually reallylike them, but I was like, what the fuck is this?Like, so weird.And then a kid I went to high school with was, I don't even know how to describe that one.Posting the most cringe shit that was also not even a humble brag, just a brag.Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.Like that what compels people?I want to know to post that.
53:24To post the kind of stuff that's like a not humble brag.And then it gets like two likes.And it's like, who are you like trying to impress?Yeah.Because I just saved a screenshot of that and I sent it to my friends to laugh at you just so that you know.It's that it's the that Simpson's GIF equivalent or is the equivalent of that Simpson'sgif of Bart Simpson banginga pots and pans marching around
53:49the house screaming, I am so great.I'm unfamiliar with this.It's one of those common gifts that you see a lot onor not even a gift, just a screenshotjust on social media and such wheneversomeone does a not so humble bragand it's like, what are you fucking trying to prove, buddy?It's so weird. And then another
54:08was somebody else that was doing similar stuff thatI'm just like, who was the time for this?So anyway.Oh, people, some people have all the time.Guys, those were the things that were delaying the podcast being recorded because they were very important.That's, and I needed to share them so that we could laugh together.Beow-Beal!LinkedIn, boom!
54:30Fofty, beo!Well, honey, I'm having some lasers in my head right now.Guys, would you hate me if I didn't finish this quiz?I'm so sorry.Text or call in to the hotline.hug me 10.Yes.If you have strong opinions.
54:50If you do, we will resume the quiz.Honestly, no, that's the best way to let us know.Dad hug me 10.Call or text us and be like, hey, Aaron, that was absolute a bullshit move of you to not finishthe Twitter quiz.Or call him and be like, no, Aaron, we stand a queen.We love your laser ADHD, pew-pue, pew tangents.Either way, we don't know what you guys like or do.
55:16don't like we want you we actually unironically would love your feedback please what's the move we aregoing to move on yeah i'm so sorry everybody for this episode we're at like an hour plus so much so muchboarding on two hours for at least the recording time so i'm like i don't even know that i havetime to finish this quiz today but if you guys really want me to finish it or us to finish it ishould say we will but just let us know honey sorry i hate to interrupt but your third offis blinding.It's right in the middle of your forehead.It is gleaming so brightly.
55:54And I can see myself with it.It's just so weird.Can you in my forehead?You can see that?Yeah, well, because you're facing me.That's true.Yeah, it's hard to miss.Well, let's take advantage of this aura you seem to have.
56:08Because for all you horoscope heads out there, it is now cancer season.Cancer season.That it.For those who don't know that Aaron and I, we are both cancers.And honey, by the way, I'm a cancer.Hold on.Oh, no.No one cares.
56:25Yes, we all care.Hold on.We all care.We all care.We do.We care quite a bit.Triple moon rising.Hold on.
56:32I am like the, I am an ultimate cancer water sign girlie, okay?Mm.My star sign is cancer.Uh-huh.My moon sign is cancer.Wow.And I'm a Scorpio rising, which is also a water sign.So I am very watery.
56:51And, and hold on.But this is, so apparently I also have cancer.My mercury is in cancer or something.What the fuck does that mean?As is my Mars.Man, listeners, if you could see the absolute total interest in my face and eyes right now, as Aaron tells me this, which I will definitely not forget 48 hours from now.God.I also have a Scorpio.
57:17Pluto.I don't know what those words mean.I don't know either.You have a Scorpio and Pluto?All I know is that one person told me I was the girl boss of being emotional.According to my birth chart.And I wear it as a badge of honor.Okay.
57:33Piyo!We need a fucking soundboard.Pio,well, honey, with that in mind, with all of your cancerness surrounding you.Cancerity.I think that's the term.Can you do me a favor?Yes.
57:54Ignore these index cards I'm handing you.They're props.And please give us listeners the cancer horoscope for this week.Cancer.Cancer.This week, you will get a call from a telemarketer.Wait, that is so weird.What?
58:12I just, no.No, no, no, no, no, no.I just, wait, hold on, hold on.Sorry, hold on.I just saw a TikTok on telemarketers.That is so weird.That is so weird.Wait, I feel like the universe.
58:33I feel like the universe is trying to.Sorry.Okay.Okay.Come on.Okay.You will get a call from a telemarketer.Okay.
58:47About the Karen.Reed trial.No way.Wait.That is so weird.Why is that weird?I just wait.Wow.
58:58Sorry.Hold on.Okay.I literally just watched like five hours of Karen Reed coverage on TikTok.Wow.What in the world?It's official.The universe is definitely trying to speak to this cancer.
59:16Ha ha ha ha.You guys can't see this, but I'm pointing to myself for emphasis.She is.I was, actually.Well, like Kermit the Frog always says.What?That's all, folks.Hold on.
59:34No, that's not a Kermitism at all.They're troll folks.Okay, not a terrible Kermit.Right?But I don't think that's right, honey.Oh.They're my piggy.Oh, my piggy.
59:49She's she was straining her mouth so fucking hard right now to get those these noises out.Wonderful.Thank you.Oh, cancers.There you go.I'm listening hard.Oh, I am so excited for cancer season and all of the love and joy and wonder and whimsy.It's like a second Christmas.
01:00:15It's like a Christmas in the middle of the year.We have to bring to our fellow.Cancerarians.Such whimsy.In this cancer reversary and cancerous.Thank you.Yes.Well put.
01:00:27Well put.Yes.Honey, did you know?What?There's actually a longer version of this exact podcast on our Patreon at patreon.At patreon.com slash Jack's films.Don't you feel bad for the editors that have to edit this?Yes.
01:00:42And the people that actually want to hear the longer version.Yes.Because it's.Oh.Oh my God.You guys better have like your like battle armor out because there are lasers that are just aall over the place.And your and your best snacks too, your finest snacks and armor just because it's a lot.
01:01:04It's a lot.Oh my God.So much fafty.You're going to want a lot of snacks for this.But we have it for those who want somehow longer, even more errandful, rantful episodes.We have that on the Patreon.And quite honestly.I will say
01:01:21Dad Hug Me 10 is where we canhang out with everybodybut the Patreon iswhere we're going to be feeling a littlemore intimate with you guys.It's kind of like a party that we have withthe patrons. It also givesa direct line. Yeah.
01:01:37So if you want that direct line, thereyou go. Come on over! But Dad Hug Me10 is also a very goodhotline. And what we have a lot of funwith? Oh my God. So please keep calling inwith your stories and questionsand anecdotes.But the Patreon does have exclusive episodes
01:01:53just for the Patreon.That's correct.Where we are spending time directly with that audience,spending time listening to what you guys want from us on Patreon.Yeah.It's like all about the patrons, those episodes.Yeah.So come and join that party too if you'd like.
01:02:11And until next time, haters,thanks for listening to Aaron is the funny one.We'll see you next week.Have a wonderful week.Godspeed and we'll see you soon.Bye.
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