Erin is the Funny One - The “Taste” Test

Episode Date: May 2, 2022

This week on Erin Is the Funny One, Jack and Erin share their (brace yourselves) Covid stories. Then, Erin puts Jacks through the ultimate challenge with round two of official EITFO Taste Test! Erin is the Funny One is sponsored by: The Zebra. Go to thezebra,com/ERIN and get your free quote today. Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Welcome back listeners to another episode of Aaron is the funny one episode number 39 even 39 Excuse me. I'm your host Jack. It's that COVID brain that you have going on. I guess now you may talk so rude and that's Aaron good for her No one asked Jack film. Where are you last week? So well, where were you last week? Oh, you know exactly where I was Yeah, we took so sorry listeners. We took the week off last week because of COVID Yay, COVID. It's finally come for us. We've been manifesting it for two years and it finally came true I'm not sure if manifesting is the word I'd use there and what's interesting is we we both I think had very different symptoms and different COVID experiences over the last couple of weeks. Well, I feel like I should be a cautionary tale. Yes, I am 99% sure about where I got it

and the reason that I'm 99% sure is because I'd only been to other places and only one of the places I'd been I didn't know everybody there and thus I cannot can everywhere else I had been I can confirm nobody else had COVID but you can't confirm at this one particular spot one place so and sadly I don't think I got it at the office which is really sad for me excuse. Yeah, but to be fair though, my prediction about getting it within two months of coming back to work that's true That's true. That did come true. It happened at the exact one month mark even so I beat my own estimate pretty wild. Yay. Truly what was that Greek goddess? Cassandra. You're Cassandra. I am Cassandra. My favorite sex in the city. I'm gonna butcher this but basically Cassandra was like this like mythological figure in maybe like Greek mythology or something and What was her deal? Well, she had this it was a blessing and a curse. So she had this blessing where she could see and foretell the future

and she would tell everybody around her about the future and the curse part was that nobody believed her and then when it came true nobody could remember that she had foretold the future. That's a curse. That's not a blessing in any regard. Well, the blessing is that she could see the future but it helps no one. But it helped Cassandra but it's the most infuriating blessing of all time because nobody would believe her. I swear to God, I feel like I embody this like this is my life where I'm constantly telling people like this is what's gonna happen and then it happens and I'm like wait I've been saying that for so long and they're like no you weren't. She could have made like serious bet money with that especially if part of the curse is no one believed her and she could say like the most outlandish shit to everyone else and they'd be like yeah right but then she would be put to death because they would accuse her of being a witch probably but they wouldn't remember it so she would just pocket their money because they were men and that's how it all goes back to that doesn't it? Yes, it does. Capitalism and men. Those are the two evils in the world

That's the name of Erin's separate podcast that she does when I'm not looking or listening, which is never. It's called Capitalism and Men and if you think this podcast is long, each episode of that starts at four hours. Erin doesn't have a guess. She just talks. No, she screams like a banshee. Okay so wait I want to tell my comic story. I've been waiting two years to tell this. Oh forgive me love. Okay so floors yours. I had a very closest friend in the world. He was my man of honor, my best maid, whatever you want to call it. I didn't have bridesmaids at my wedding but he did my speech and he and I have known each other since high school and he's in a band called Minka. You can find them on Instagram at We Are Minka. They're. Fantastic band by the way. Yeah they're very talented but they are on tour right now and they came to LA and Southern California. They played in San Diego, Orange County and LA and it has to stay with us while they were in LA instead of course. So I had jokingly said like okay I'm going to let four guys stay at our house and they've just been at bars, unmasked. Nationwide. All around the country. There's no way I'm not getting COVID. Well spoiler, I don't believe I got it from them saying with us. However when they were in LA they played a show at the Silver Lake Lounge in Silver Lake, Abbey and it was the first bar that I think I've been to where right after LA dropped all mask mandates.

So there were no mask mandates at all and what's funny is that Jack has been very uber vigilant about wearing masks and so we go into the bar and two of my other friends from high school were there and we kind of like stayed with them for the entirety of the night. Yeah like our little click in the bar. Yeah Jack wore his mask like for the first hour and I was like come on nobody's wearing their mask like. I looked like such a square. I was the only one in the bar with a mask. I just thought this place is like there weren't, it wasn't packed with people and we're like a group of four people and then the band's up there. I'm like we're fine right. So I was like I think we're fine. I let peer pressure get the best of me. Well and wife pressure too. And you can't escape wife pressure. But here's the funny thing is that you didn't get COVID that night. I got COVID that night. Allegedly. What where else would I have picked it up? No I'm saying I was in the office that day. I could have gotten it too. I interacted with maybe 10 coworkers. None of them have COVID or got COVID. Right. And then the following day I went into the office and I interacted with one coworker because it was Good Friday. Nobody was in the office. Right. So it was like me and my one coworker and she didn't get COVID for me thank God. But I started exhibiting symptoms on Saturday. Right. So the only place I could have gotten it was that show. Yeah. At that bar. Yeah. Because it's the only place I can't verify everybody that I've talked to. And what were your COVID symptoms like? Well so Saturday we went to the movies. We went to an afternoon showing of everywhere all at once things in the sky. Whatever the fuck that movie's called. Yeah.

I think I saw a different movie than everybody else. And on the Uber ride over to the movie I thought to myself. My throat feels a little weird. My chest feels a little weird. Like that feeling you get right before you get sick. Like where you're like I'm just feeling a little off right now. Right. And by the way I swear to God I had I was up doing things like all Saturday up until we went to the movie. I didn't feel anything at all up until we were in the Uber to the movies where I was like hmm I feel a little weird. And then we went to the movie and I was like all right be cool. Play cool. Like you're fine. Have a glass of wine. Let's stay drink a little. I mean it'll probably go away on its own. I still felt a little weird. I felt fine. All things considered I just felt I knew something was off. Like I was like I feel a little off. And I told you because you were like that was fun. Let's go out to dinner. And I was like I have to be honest with you. I feel a little weird. I don't know what it is. Obby but I don't really want to go out to dinner because I don't know what I'm feeling right now. I don't know what's going in. Like I don't know what's going on. But something's going on. And I haven't felt this but I know this feeling from being alive for 35 years 34 whatever. And I know right. But like I don't really want to go out to dinner. And you're like you're fine. You're fine. I just really wanted to go out that night because I'm a golden retriever when it comes to like going out like oh come on we're out let's go out. And I was like why don't we will go get ice cream. And then we'll.

And then we're going to go home because I just I don't I don't know. I don't know what this I don't know what this is but I think I'm going to get a cold. Something's happening in my chest. I know this feeling this happens right before chest cold. Like I think I just want to go home. You're gross. Stop coughing. So anyway so the later that night I said to Jack what if this is COVID. He's like it's not COVID. And I'm like you don't know that. And he was like we'll take a test. So I took a rapid test. It was negative. And I'm like but you don't know that. And I was like because I was like Jack I was like should we quarantine until we like know for sure it's not COVID. And he was like no I don't want to quarantine my own house. And I was like but if I give you my COVID are you going to be mad at me. And you're like no I won't be like if you're any COVID I'll get COVID we'll have COVID together whatever. So the next day is when the cold really set in right. That was when I start the chest cold symptoms really set in I just felt really crappy really didn't sleep that night very well. No he didn't. Yeah, like the first night I woke up at 5am. The second night I woke up at 4am. The third night I woke up at 3am. It's really cool being awake in the middle of the night when all you want to do is go to bed because you feel like garbage and not even Nyquil will knock you out. It's just like this like haze and you get to hear like the people outside like go through your trash and stuff like that and then you start the classic sounds of the night.

It's just awesome it was it was you know being a vampire has its drawbacks. So anyway Sunday I take it took another test came back negative and so I'm like I don't know like obviously it's not COVID but I don't feel good and I had this event. It was like a girls day event that we had planned for literally two months and I was like whatever this is I need to be better by Wednesday 420 I need to be better blah blah blah blah whatever. So this is like such an exciting to anyway Monday I took off of work I felt like garbage again didn't sleep at all was coughing my lungs up just felt like absolute crap whatever Tuesday I called out of work because I'm like another night where I can't sleep and I'm like up all night long just like not even Nyquil will knock me out I'm dealing with this crazy insomnia and I'm like I can't I just need to get better for this event on Wednesday. So Tuesday evening Jack says to me my throat kind of hurts and I just whip my head over to him and I'm like what did you just say my throat kind of hurts and I'm like I'm thinking to myself this man you guys don't even understand this man has never been sick a day in his life. That's okay. So not true. I have I used to get sick when I was traveling and bumping around town constantly on airplanes I swear to God there was not a single month where I would go I would I never had a voice.

You never had a voice. Remember that I had constant like bronchitis or something I never had a voice. I always had some level of a cold like ran myself into the ground all the time you never were sick and I've never gotten you sick. And so Jack saying my throat kind of hurts. I'm like let me I literally say I'm thinking myself how contagious they say that COVID is right and I'm like let me just take another test just to be sure because I'm going to this event. It's like Tuesday night. Tuesday night. So I'm getting I'm going to this event Wednesday and I had already chalked it up to like if I get a good night's sleep I can go to this event.

I'll be fine. I'll just take a shit ton of Robotussin and I can get through the day. So I took a test Tuesday night after Jack said he wasn't feeling well and the thing lit up like a fucking Christmas tree. The line showed up in like seconds right. Second and hard and bold. It was practically glowed for anybody who has ever taken a rapid test. As you're watching the liquid like seep from the sample pool into like the line like before the like default line even showed up the COVID line was like dark bright there. And I was like oh my God.

Oh my God. Oh my God. I have COVID right now. Like this is COVID. Oh my God. Oh my God. And you kind of feel like oh my God. What do I do?

And you're like bitch you're living it. Like this is it. There's nothing you can do. It's the deed has been done. It's too late. It's inside of you. It's living. It's thriving.

Okay. So Jack was like you're going to take another one. Make sure. Because I think there's an element of like panic almost like maybe a slight. I was just like I don't like you tested negative for several times. Saturday and Sunday. I was thinking like this could be a false positive. Let's take another and you did.

So same thing happened. Yeah. Of course. Same thing. Oh my God. I have COVID. Oh my God. What the fuck.

Yeah. Yeah. It's based on Jack. Not feeling well. That hit his, you know, he had already had it as well. So, and you didn't test positive for another two days. I don't think. Right.

So I'm a little behind you. Yeah. You're a few days behind me, but I did take a PCR test the following day. I took it on 420 that Wednesday. I was supposed to go to the, my girl's event. I went, everybody's fine. Just kidding. Yeah.

I was going to say. No, he didn't. Don't tell the listeners you went to this thing. She did not. I did not go. Honestly, I woke up on Wednesday at 2am or whatever it was. Like, I would have not made it through the day. I would have had.

Even if I didn't have COVID. The robot has to have not have gotten me through that event. But so I did get a PCR taken on Wednesday drive through guys. It's fine. I had no contact with anybody and it did come back positive. Shocker. Thursday evening. I will say though, what's so funny is that the county of LA.

Once you get a positive test, they kind of like hound you. And they're like, Hey, you had a positive test. Make sure you don't get in contact with anybody, but they don't send those texts until like, I didn't get the first text until Monday. Yeah. That's annoying. The following month.

I was like, yeah, no shit. Sherlock. Thanks. I know. Right on time. Thank you. No, I've already held seven super spreader events. We're going to beat this with herd immunity.

We're having three more bands. Stay with us tonight for a month. So any Hoosers, the weird part is though, and which brings us to our super special COVID podcast. I think today is the first day I've tested negative for COVID. Oh shit. I don't know. You tested.

I didn't test, but I'm assuming because yesterday's test was really, really faint. Oh, okay. So yeah. All right. Well, we need to see the actual proof, but yes. Yeah. The point of this podcast.

The point of this podcast is on Sunday on Jack's day five, Jack lost his sense of smell and taste. I never did, but Jack has. And guys, it's gone. I cannot. It's really sad. Just a little bit about my experience. I, so I lost it on Sunday.

And I think that I ordered, I usually make breakfast every morning. So Sunday I like ordered a fancy breakfast bagel from a place nearby and it broke my heart. I couldn't taste any of it. I had like avocado and eggs and tomato and everything. I could not taste any of it to be fair. Avocado doesn't have like the strongest taste in the world.

Sure. But then like, you know, then I went to make coffee and I put, you know, creamer and Mike, I couldn't taste it. And you know, I, I can't like, we ordered Chipotle, you know, that night or the night after and I couldn't taste it. It was just really sad. It's kind of like, you know, what's the point of living? It's very much like.

Wow. Dark. Yeah. So I still, it's like the last, like as of this taping, I have not had the sense of, of, of smell or taste for five days, but I still make breakfast. Sometimes I even season my eggs. Wow.

And it's like, what's the point? Are you like, do you season it in hopes that maybe. Yes. Yeah. Maybe I will taste this now. It's half habit and half optimism. Okay. And I still put cream in my coffee.

Cause I can still like kind of taste the bitterness of black coffee. Can you? A little bit, but like, you know, if I put the cream in, I can't taste the vanilla or any of the hazelnut, nothing. So yeah, it's a depressive city, population, me, I can't, and honestly I understand listeners. This could have gone so much worse and I would rather have what I have now than like much more flu like symptoms, but still sucks.

Can't taste or smell. Yeah. You really, it's, it's, I don't want to say it's funny, but you really, the way I got sick where I was like, I was down for the count, like not really like functioning. That's not happening. I never had that. You had like one bad day where you just, but you still work the whole day.

I call it out of work the whole week. Well, I got a game to push, honey. You know, this game worked all that one day. You're like, I feel worse, but every hour I feel a little bit worse. But then the next day you woke up and you're like, I feel okay. Do you guys know I have a free video game coming out soon called be funny now. It's coming out on May 17th for iOS, Android and Steam. Does everybody know what day it's actually being released?

Or did you just like announce that right now? No, I don't say like earlier this taping. I mean, like, well, earlier today. Oh, everywhere. Okay. TikTok, Instagram, YouTube, Twitter. I try not to pay attention to you. So I didn't know.

I didn't know. But May 17th, mark your damn calendars and pay $0 and 0 cents for the free game. Don't call it a mobile game because it's also on Steam. That's all. Be funny now. Yeah. Be funny now. Okay.

So anyway, in celebration. Okay. So by the way, this is a full disclaimer. We're laughing and joking and celebrating Jack's actual taste blindness today because it's still funny today. Yeah. Six months from now. Six months from now.

It will not actually be funny. I will not make fun of him anymore because it will actually be real. I'm eating so many burnt oranges by the way. But we can laugh about it today. Guys, come celebrate with us while we can still laugh about how Jack can't taste or smell shit. Speaking of, I'm drinking wine. I'm sorry.

So, no, well, so this entire podcast is dedicated to our celebration of life for what once was Jack's shitty sense of smell and taste that has gone to rest for a period of time, but we're going to bury that shit in the pet cemetery. We're going to bury that shit in the pet cemetery. I hope not because it never comes back to save. Well, yeah, it's going to come back all fucked up where everything smells like gasoline. I don't want that. Take that back right now.

I was going to say this is a funeral celebrating yesterday. Jack had said to me, he's like, I can't even smell your hair anymore. And I was like, I didn't even know my hair had a smell. Oh, bitch, you know, your hair has a sense. No, I didn't know that. I didn't know that you ever appreciated the smell. I tell you that. I tell you, you smell nice all the time.

But I'm like, you don't, you can't smell anything. So that doesn't count. But wouldn't that be really funny if when your smell does come back? You think I smell like actual gasoline. You think I'm like, oh, Aaron, you smell like a garbage lady. Oh my God. Like you're Oscar the Grouch. You live in a garbage can.

There's my gasoline, girl. Let daddy get a whiff. How funny would that be? That'd be really funny, actually. I mean, it wouldn't be at all. It'd be really sad. It'd be funny for like a minute and then, you know, terrifying. But for that minute, it'd be a funny fucking minute.

Oh my God. Can you imagine? Holy crap. You would make me. Yeah. Like the things that would smell good to you are like actual actual trash and stuff. And so I'd have to like wear sardine perfume and just so that

you could like be and hang out with me. There's my fair scented lady. Oh my God. Anyway, so we're allowed to joke about it today. But guys, join us today because we may not be able to joke about it for very long. Yes. All right.

So anyway, Jack, what are we drinking? That's time for who? Why not for me? And I've been drinking wine this for the entire duration so far. And in the hopes that like maybe it'll come back, maybe it'll come back. No, of course not. Well, that would ruin the podcast because we're doing it. It would.

Well, I see this as a win-win, right? Okay. If my taste comes back, then like hurray it be. If my taste doesn't come back, we have a very entertaining podcast. Yes. Yes, we do. We're drinking a Chardonnay. It's Cambria Chardonnay.

We've drank it on the podcast before. I'm pretty sure. This is one of Aaron's go-tos. It's a total go-to. It's delicious. I picked it because I can enjoy it and taste it. And Jack can't enjoy it and taste it. So fuck him.

This is for me. It's making juice. I like this Chardonnay. This is for actual juice. I'm not sure I could tell you. Like. If it were water, would you be able to tell us? Yeah, I think so.

You do? Because like this still has a tang to it. Oh, you can taste a tang? Well, I can tell there's a tang. I can't taste it if that makes sense. No, I don't understand that. For example. Okay.

I don't know if it's a day quail or night quail. Yes. I still, you know, kind of can make a face, you know, sort of like, huh, that was, but like, I can't taste the day quail or night quail, but it still causes some kind of reaction. I will say I did like take a shot of vodka. When?

Well, you know, a few days ago. Oh yeah. Yeah. I was like, why are you drinking? I've been thinking behind your back. No, no, no, no. Like what? We're not there yet.

But when I did taste the vodka, I don't know. I think I could tell it was vodka. I don't know. I was like, I can't taste it. I just want to see listeners because, you know, it was still fresh and cool. I didn't have these senses back then. I took a shot of vodka just to see like, can I even tell?

And I kind of can, but I can't taste it, but I can still make a face. Anyways, Aaron, what do you have planned for us tonight? Well, Jack, in celebration of life of your senses of taste and smell today, we are doing a round two of the blind taste test that we had you do back in the early days of the podcast. Months ago.

Months and months ago. And we're going to do it all over again. And we're going to feed you some of the grossest, nastiest shit that we had in our kitchen. And you're going to see if you can taste it and tell what it is at all. Baby, let's go. I'm so excited for this.

Let's go. Okay. I need you to wear a blindfold though, because you will be, I don't want you to be influenced by the color of things. Of course. Of course. So we are going to do this.

Oh my God. I forgot how silly it looks being across from somebody. Like you don't have a top of your face. Just take a picture. This is amazing. I will take a picture. By the way, I'm like surrounded by all of the like COVID tests that I took every day waiting for it to turn negative.

I'm like, oh, yep. Yep. There's a positive test. It's a real graveyard of COVID tests here. All right. I'm so excited. Are you excited? Are you to see, do you think that you'll get any of the things that I've given you?

By the way, I have 10 samples for you to drink and or taste, because I have three samples on a spoon, seven and cups. I'm so excited. You are. So are you saying that you're a 10 out of 10 excited? I'm saying I'm a, yeah, maybe 10.5 out of 10. Yeah. 10.5 out of 10.

Yeah. 10.5, maybe 10.6 out of 10. Maybe you want to get a little closer. Yeah. You want to get a little closer to do. Okay. Because I'm my own girl boss. Okay.

Okay. So you are excited. Yes. Okay. All right. Do you think that you're going to get any of them correct? I think I will. I think I may disappoint you and me if I'm being honest by getting a few correct.

So if you get any of these correct, I do believe that you are lying to all of, not only me, but all of America and the rest of the world. You're fucking narratives. Just all men are liars. Yes. You know, full stop. That is correct. That's Aaron's capitalism and men.

Weekdays. No, fuck that. Daily, twice a day, daily at 9am and 9pm. But it doesn't matter because she's just full volume either way. That's why she couldn't sleep earlier. Had nothing to do with COVID. She's just screaming all day. And another thing.

That's the name of another podcast. And another thing. Rest in peace, Gilbert. Oh, man. Oh, I assume you're getting the samples. I am. I had them covered with like a towel because I didn't want you to see the colors. Oh, yeah.

No, I can't see shit. Okay. Do you want to start off with sweet or salty? I don't want to know. I'm kidding. It was a joke. Dum dum. And always salty.

All right. I'm going to have you start out with a sample. I have here, like I said, I have seven. Samples of liquid. Okay. Three samples of solids. That's fun. Oh, that's fun.

Okay. I'm going to start us out with one of the solids. Okay. Actually. So I want you to put out your hand. It's on a spoon. Okay. So I'm going to hand you the spoon.

Yep. There's the handle of the spoon. Okay. You may want to like, like, do you see, like, do you feel this? Yeah. Okay. So now you know where the spoon starts. I know where the spoon is.

Okay. And now you're going to put that in your mouth and you're going to taste it. And you're going to see if you can identify what it is. Okay. No cheating. No cheating. I don't think I could cheat if I even wanted to. All right.

Here we go. Oh, you ate the whole spoon. I didn't mean for you to eat the whole spoonful. You didn't need to do that. What? Wow. You just like, like, I would suggest maybe not doing that in the future. Oh my God.

I have no idea what this is. Okay. Describe the texture. It's like creamy. Okay. And chewy. And you're very, you're very careful to use your words because the texture is the only thing I can describe.

Okay. Wait, you don't taste anything at all. I think it's sweet. I don't think this is a salty. Why do you think it's sweet? Because it's not making me pucker my lips as if it were saltier or something. Okay. Okay.

Am I still talking in the mic? Yes, you are. It's sticky. What was that? What is that? I want to say it's like yogurt with granola or something. Granola. I don't even know if we have that, but like this is very, I don't know what else this

could possibly be. I think this is like. But you, you don't taste sweet or salty. You just are guessing it's sweet based on that your mouth didn't do a physical reaction. Is that right? That is correct, Aaron. It's the funny one. Okay.

This is my final answer. I know I'm wrong, but my final answer is yogurt with some kind of granola in it. That is incorrect. Okay. Do you think we have yogurt with granola in it? Look, Aaron, maybe you surprised me. I don't know. I'm literally going in blind.

I know it's funny. Wait, wait, can I just say we manifested this? We fucking manifested this just like we manifested COVID. How so? Because we joke about how you were taste blind and now you're actually taste blind. No, you, no, bitch, you manifested this. I didn't do shit. Can I just say?

Yeah. I forgot what I was going to say. Shit. I had some. Oh, Jack, I forgot to tell you guys, Jack is also suffering from symptoms of COVID brain. No, I'm not. Yes, you are. Yes, you are.

Wise. No. Jack has been asking some real dumb shit lately that I'm like the only reason you're getting a pass right now is because of COVID. Okay. Can you tell me what I just ingested? Do you want to know? Yes.

More than anything. You just ate raspberry preserves. So what you were tasting was raspberry seeds. Yeah. And it's like a jam, jelly type of deal. But yeah, raspberry preserves. So not yogurt. Not yogurt at all.

No. And not granola. Not granola. Those are raspberry seeds that you tasted. I really care. Or that you felt. Well, that's fun. Yes.

Okay. Take my spoon, please. Okay. Okay. Thank you. All right. Next up. Let's see.

All right. Okay. Okay. Do you want it with your left hand or right? I guess my right. Okay. It's in a little tiny little shot glass. Oh, I love these tiny shot glasses.

Okay. So I would not suggest drinking all of it. I'm going to drink all of it. Take a taste. I'm going to chug it. Because I didn't think you needed to eat all the preserves. I think if you drink all of, all of every, or an eat all of what I've given you, you're going to get a belly ache because it's just so many different things.

Okay, mom. Jesus. What is that? What is that? I don't know. You tell me. What is that? Is that?

Okay. This is, this is making me pucker my lips quite a bit. It's very, it's not alcoholic. I kind of want to say, and I think I'm right and you're going to be disappointed in me. Okay. Okay. I think this is like pure like lime juice. Okay.

Why? Let me take another swing. Because it tastes salty or like, or not salty, but like there's a bitterness about it or. Okay. I'm no ratatouille. I can't really describe the taste, especially post COVID, but there is a pucker inducing quality about this liquid that makes me want to say this is, this is one of those like on our bar card or somewhere.

This is one of those like lime juice concentrates that you make with like margaritas and shit. Okay. Final answer. That is incorrect. What is it? That sir is pure apple cider vinegar. Oh my God. Oh my God.

That's wild. I hate apple cider vinegar, but this is like. Uh huh. Yeah. Oh my God. Don't drink more of it. That's just going to like rot your teeth. Oh my God.

That's fascinating. The fact that you just were like. Honestly, COVID is the equivalent of like those, those things that you eat that alter the taste of. The emberries. Uh huh. I do enjoy the emberries. They're so interesting.

Yeah. They really makes it. If you guys don't know about emberries, like Google it, it is fascinating. Yeah. They make everything taste sweet. Pickles. Fruit. Oh, tastes like it's coated in sugar.

It's insane. It's so cool though. Hopefully it's not like bad for you or anything. Highly recommend experimenting. If you want to like just quickly, you know, buy something just for the shits and giggles of it. But all right. So, uh, so far you are a zero for two.

I love it. What it's like to drink pure vinegar. Honestly, I, I did not. It tasted fruity, but not like an apple. Oh, what? Well, apple cider vinegar does taste more like vinegar than it does apples. I did not get any, like I would put that in a cocktail. What?

Yeah, dude. What? Yeah. Like a margaritaville. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh no. Like one margaritaville.

Guys, we're mask up people. All right. Don't fall to peer pressure like I did. Oh, everybody's maskless. Don't do that. Don't fucking do it. So stupid. Mask up.

Mask up. Also guys, I never talked to anybody except for the people that I was with. They didn't get COVID. I did. It doesn't matter. We were in a small space and I guess I was sharing air with other people. I definitely believe social distancing and masks work. I'm not a scientist, but that's what I believe.

Hey, the dogs are bored. What's the next drink? All right. Here you go. Thank you. Uh-huh. Here I go. Another like shot glass sized liquid.

They're all shot glass size liquids. Oh, what is that? Shit. What is that? It's dish soap. Woman, you would. Bitch, it's Clorox. How's it feel?

It tastes great. This Clorox tastes like. Wait, for real though. Does it taste great? Do you enjoy the taste of what you're drinking? I want to say a little bit. This, honey, I apologize. I'm sorry.

Okay. I was wrong earlier. This is the lemon. This is the lime juice concentrate. Okay. Yeah. Final answer. We'll describe it.

Tell us. Yes. Why is that the lime juice? I'm getting. As opposed to like what you thought was the lime juice. Like tell us about what you're feeling right now. Though I can't taste it. I'm getting hints of like lollipops.

Lollipops. A little bit. Hints of it. And. Fascinating. A similar sensation is happening to my mouth. This is the best one. Like the apple cider vinegar.

But this one, it hits different. As the kids say. I believe this is, um, do you, the, this is the lime juice concentrate we have on our bar. You're half correct. Lemon lime. It's not concentrate. It's just lime juice.

That's what I meant to say. No, it wasn't, but it was refrigerated. It's juice. I did it. Right. It was not in the bar. I did it. I'm one for three.

You get a half of a point. One for three. Half of a point. Full point out of three. All right. Ready? Here's another liquid. Okay.

Another liquid. Here we go. I'm an aces test boys. Ew. Wait. Wait a minute. Okay. This is either ketchup or tomato juice.

Why? Why do you say that? Because I can kind of taste it. I don't have taste. I'm kind of taste it. You can kind of taste that. This is fucking tomato juice. It is not tomato juice.

Wait, it's not? No. It is not. Do you want to take one more sip? I'll give you one more try. I don't actually. I don't like this. You don't.

You really don't. Does it taste like tomato soup? Tomato juice to you? Yes. It tastes like tomato juice. Really? Yeah. I like tomato juice.

What's wrong with tomato juice? So much. It tastes like V8. V8. It tastes like V8? I guess. I haven't had V8 in like decades, but yeah, I'm pretty sure. What is that?

This is Worcestershire sauce drink. Oh my God. Oh my God. My sense of taste is fucked. That tasted like tomatoes to you? Yeah, it did. Oh my God. I'm going to find this COVID person and just knock them out.

Good luck. Good luck. I'm going to find them. Do you remember when, like when was that a thing? When people would lose their smell and taste? Was it the first goer? Was it like right in the very beginning? Yeah, I thought so.

Oh really? I thought it was like later iterations of it. We started hearing that was like a thing. No. But maybe, oh, huh. Interesting. All right. I'm going to give you another spoon sample.

Another spoon. Okay. All right. Okay. More yogurt and granola. Here we go. Is this the same thing? It is not the same thing as the raspberry preserves.

Okay. It's the exact same texture as the preserves. These are more preserves. This is a different type of preserve. It's like, don't laugh at me. This is like honey. No, not honey, but like, yeah, this is another preserve that you just pulled out of the back of the fridge that probably expired last spring.

I'm going to say with the last one was raspberry. And this is apricot. It is not apricot. What is it? It's fig. Fig. Okay. Yeah.

I won't say I tasted it. All right. Okay. So, but do you taste it at all? Or is it only based on texture? Well, no, no. I had a bit of sweetness to guide me there. Okay.

So the texture helped, but also there was a sweetness akin to the raspberry preserves. Okay. All right. I'm going to hand you another liquid. Another liquid. We're going to save our final solid for the last thing. Okay. Okay.

Got it. All right. Down the hatch. I'm like pouring as far as I can. It's not hitting. It is a little bit thick. Clorox sends to do that. What if you're making a face?

What the fuck is this? Oh my God. Erin, what did you give me? Okay, describe what you're feeling. Okay. So it's, it's subnoxiously thick to like, oh God. It's like, I think it's salty. I don't know.

I don't like this at all. This is my least favorite. I fucking. It's like grease. I think you just gave me like concentrated grease. Oh my God. This is just like grease in a, in a shot glass. I fucking hate that.

Oh God. It's salty. It's not sweet at all. It's like, I was thinking maybe it's ketchup because it took so long to hit my mouth. Yeah. It's then ketchup. No. Oh God.

Okay. So you've narrowed out ketchup. That's good. Yeah. It's not. Yeah. It's not. It's, oh God.

It's like salty, greasy. What the fuck do we have? That's anything like this. It's something that, like this isn't something you drink. You mix this in food. I'm just going to say hamburger grease. It's a hamburger grease. I knew it.

You are correct. What the fuck is this? Um, so you know what? Domino's they. Oh my God. They give you those dipping sauces. This is the garlic dipping sauce from Domino's. It is not that, I love this dipping sauce.

I can tell you guys. You don't drink it. Well, no, you put it on pizza. Yeah. Yes, Aaron. And it's delicious. You don't, oh my God. Dude, my taste is absolutely fucked.

Okay. Wait. So you're like, you will not be putting that on your pizza anytime soon. Well, I never did. I was, I've always been a pizza purist. I don't, I don't know. It's an orthorexic. So it's different.

Sure. Hey, can we get you to pull it again tonight so I can't taste it again? Thanks. All right. I have another liquid for you. Okay, love. I hope it's just chunky marinara. Got it.

Another liquid down the hatch. This was nice. Yeah. This is nice. This one's an actual liquid. It is. Well, they're all liquids. Jack.

What is this? It's not water, but it's light. It's not nearly as thick as some of the others. It's sweet. There's a sweetness to it. What do we have? I was just like, wait. Wait, how can you tell it's sweet?

Is this Sprite? It's not Sprite. Hmm. Because I know we have Sprite. Oh, is this one of the, the, the, the, the US sodas? It is not one of the US sodas. Oh, really? Is this a juice?

It is not a juice. Oh my God. COVID, I hate you. Describe what you're tasting. How can you tell it's sweet? I don't get it. My taste buds, they can still tell me when things are sweet or salty or whatever. I just can't go beyond that.

They won't permit me. It's like a wall. Yeah. It's like I've, I've reached a wall and I can't walk further. Hmm. So I know I can give you texture and I can give you like the basic like four food groups of the tongue, essentially. Like what?

I think they debunked that. They did. But you know what I mean? Like this is sweet. It's like, is this just sugar and water? Sugar in water. Yeah, right? It's an eager, an eager suit.

What is this? It's an eager suit. What do I drink? So, yeah, I think. Is it carbonated? No, it's not carbonated. So it's not, it can't be anyone of the sodas, I guess. So now I'm thinking like, what is it?

Grenadine? It's just like pure grenadine. What is this? It's Coke. It's Coca-Cola. No, it's not. Yes, it is. Let me, let me try.

What the fuck? That is Coca-Cola. What the shit? No, it's not. Yes, it is. I mean, I guess it was sitting. Oh my God, that's wild. I cannot taste Coca-Cola.

I thought I said Sprite before I said Coca-Cola. No, yeah, that's Coca-Cola. Dude, hey guys, mask up. Let's do you want a wild time. All right, I have another liquid for you. All righty. I'm sorry that you don't know Coca-Cola. It's okay.

We'll get them next time, boys. Ew. Ew? Really? Ew. What? What is this? Is this the Clorox?

Wait, what? Oh my God, your jack is gagging. Jack is full on gagging. What the fuck is this? Oh my God, what? Tell the people. Tell me what are you tasting? This is disgusting is what it is.

Why is it disgusting? I have an aversion to this. Hold on, let me try. Apparently, that is really fascinating and we're never going to be sponsored ever again by this brand. Oh, this is, oh, that's why. Why? Oh my God.

Why? This is beer, isn't it? It is beer. Oh my God. It's beer. Oh my God. Why do you have an aversion to it? COVID makes me not like beer.

Oh, really? Oh my God. You're like jack was gagging, guys. Like straight up gagging. The aftertaste is terrible. Oh my God. Really? What's the aftertaste like?

Is it like the first taste you've actually had was like the aftertaste of beer? Baby, I feel like a kid drinking or trying beer for the first time. Really? It's that averse. It's that like. Oh no. No way. Oh my God.

Did COVID ruin beer for me? I will sue COVID if they did that. Holy shit. No way. Are you for real right now? Yeah. I'm not fucking with you. Like you're like, it's that bad.

Yes. Yeah. So if this is a beer, not to narrow it down to beers we have. No, it's fine. It's Stella. Stella. It's really that bad. I love Stella.

Yeah. I love Stella. Oh my God. Or Stella doesn't love you. Stella, please don't get it twisted. I love you. Just not on COVID. It's not you.

It's me. Right. This is what the talk that you have with Stella, but in this case it actually is you. It is me. Yeah. You can't get mad at yourself. Just me. Wow.

Holy shit. That made me depressed. Hold on. What is the aftertaste? Cause you have said I don't have tastes that can only have sensations of like salt. It didn't taste like something that I should put in my body. It didn't taste like a drinkable liquid. Really?

That's when I like. But what's weird is that you drink wine and you don't have that reaction. It's a different. Yeah. It's so, so what? So I guess it's a sweetness. And you had a shot of vodka and did not have that reaction. Sure.

Maybe with a shot of vodka. Well, that's the thing. A beer you casually drink, you don't casually drink a shot of vodka. Pour it back. I know that you're, you're, you've prepped your body for unpleasantness. A beer is not meant to be unpleasant. That was unpleasant to me. Wow.

And it wasn't sweet like a wine. So I can like drink wine during our podcast, you know, on COVID tongue, but I don't wretch because it's, there's a sweetness to it, especially white wines. Wow. We're drinking to Chardonnay. This what that beer, it was like paint. I don't know. Oh wow.

It was just very, very bad. Like I should not, this is not for human consumption. I wouldn't give my dog this. Then I am interested. Oh God. In seeing, this is our final liquid taste test. Let's fucking go gamers. I'm interested to see how you react to this one.

Here we go. Oh, this is a delight. Really? Yes. A delight. This is wonderful. I would have 20 of these. I'm getting like grape soda.

Grape soda. What, for somebody who can't taste, tell me about grape soda. I'm getting like grape fucking soda. Is this the grape soda that I didn't know we had? No, it's not. Wow. Honestly, it tastes like a lollipop again, but like a grape soda lollipop. I'm trying so hard.

Is this alcoholic? It is not alcoholic. Okay, good. Because if it was, we'd have a problem because it's delicious. It's apple cider vinegar. Fuck you. No, it's not. No, it's not.

This is, what is this? This is a US soda. It is not a US soda. What? It is not. It's your life. I swear. Is it carbonated?

I don't think so. Okay. Is it? It is. Really? Yes. What I've learned is that you can no longer tell what is carbonated and what is not. Okay.

It's non-alcoholic. It is carbonated, but it's not a US soda. Correct. It is not a water lollipop. It is not a water lollipop. I was going to say, honey, it tastes like so sugary. Yeah. Yeah.

For those who don't know, a water lollipop is like a LaCroix. LaCroix. I forgot how to say LaCroix. COVID brain, you know? This really does taste like a grape soda. I'm not going to get away from that. Wow. You just want to drink it.

All right. So are you out of guesses? Yeah. Since we don't have grape soda in the house? I don't know what else it could possibly be. That's a sugar-free Red Bull. Oh my God. Yeah.

It is sweet. I'm not going to say that, but it is carbonated. And I was curious based on your reaction to the beer and saying this is not something that should be ingested. And I was like, oh, this has got plenty of shit in it that maybe you'll have the same averse reaction. But no. Nay, apparently your body thinks that sugar-free Red Bull,

you should consume 20 of them. That's what you just said. You said I could drink 20 of these, which I would not recommend. You know, I can't have energy drinks, right, Aaron? Yeah. But you had one ounce of it. You're fine. All right.

You used to drink 40 ounces of it a day. And by the way, you can't drink energy drinks because they give you bad gas. It's more than that. No, it's bad gas. I don't know. I think there's a weird... No, it's bad gas.

I might have an allergy. That's literally what they told you, bad gas. Okay. Honestly, though, Red Bull on COVID tongue, phenomenal. That was the best drink in the house. Wait for real? Yeah. And it's like the worst punishment.

It's like, you can never have it. I can never have that. No, you can never have Red Bull. But that's what it tastes like. If you want a one ounce Red Bull. That's phenomenal. All right. Yeah.

We have one final spoonful of sugar that we want you to taste. All right. Hand me the Clorox, please. All right. It's toilet cleaner. Enjoy. I thought you were going to say toilet water.

Okay. No, I would put that in the shot cup. All right. What are we tasting? Not sweet. This might be the ketchup. I will tell you, Jack, none of the samples are ketchup. Okay.

It's my favorite quiz. None of these are ketchup. Yeah. It's time for none of these are ketchup. All right. What are you? What are we tasting? I'm tasting Worcestershire sauce again.

Oh, really? Yeah. I don't know. Something like bad and salty. Bad and salty? Yeah. You don't like, I'm not prepped for this. I'm not primed for this.

This is so funny. This is one of my favorite things on the planet. What you're eating right now. Oh, really? Yes. Yeah. So I'm like, really? It's bad?

Yeah. Like this is something you put on a fucking burger. Okay. Like mustard, but it's not mustard. It's not mustard. It's like some kind of like relish. It's relish. Okay.

It's like, yeah. This is a, this is so hard, by the way. Just describe what it tastes like when you can't taste. So hard. The texture. There's like sediments in it. Yeah. Preserved like.

Preserved like. But it's not like, but it's not preserved. It's not ketchup. Shut up. Sediment in it. That's right. Yeah. Like little, yeah.

Cause of the flavor. Would you say it tastes like Vegemite? No. Okay. I've never had Vegemite. Yeah. But I remember, I remember you telling me it's salty. Yeah.

That was, uh, that was not my jam. Yeah. Yeah. But it's not like, but it's not preserved. It's not ketchup. That was, uh, that was not my jam. Pardon the pun. This is like something you put in a burger.

Okay. I would totally fucking devour a burger that has that on it. Yeah. You would? Oh yeah. I love that shit. What are you? This is like.

It's got sediment in it. This is relish. Pickle relish or onion relish. I don't even know if what I'm saying are words. It's some type of relish final answer. Uh-huh. It is cocktail sauce. Oh.

It has kind of like ketchupy ingredients, but it also has horseradish in it, which is my favorite. You know what? I love horseradish. That's true. I'm wondering if I, if I would ever get this without the blindfold and,

and without COVID. Oh really? Oh my God. I love horseradish. If anything, I feel like that's going to, horseradish is going to cure your fucking COVID nose. There you go, honey. You can finish the rest of that.

No thank you. I don't want your COVID germs. Uh, can I take this blindfold off? You sure can. Oh, that was a great quiz. That was fun. Did you have as much fun as I did? Honestly, I did.

I loved the guessing game. I loved the, the uncertainty of everything. Does it make you more or less depressed on knowing for certain that you really don't know the taste of things? I don't know if I'm more or less depressed. That's just an even, you know, zero neutral. Okay.

But I will say, I was pleasantly surprised for the purposes of this podcast of how wrong I was and how off I was for nearly every one of those. You don't even know what a Coca-Cola tastes like. That was wild. That did not taste like a Coca-Cola. To be fair, it's been a while since you've had Red Bull in the first place.

Honestly, over 10 years. Yeah. It has not been over 10 years. Okay. It's been nine. Eight. Eight? Yeah.

We dealt with that shit in 2014. It's like being in the hospital tonight, right? Yes. You're not going to, you used to drink two huge things of rock star. I sure did. Okay. One ounce of a sugar-free Red Bull.

Red Bull, I swear to God, has nothing on rock star and monster. Okay. That shit is amped up. This is, you're fine. You're going to be fine. Honestly, if you go to the hospital, it's going to be because you chugged some Domino's garlic sauce. You witch.

I can't believe you. I'm looking at the shot glass with the garlic sauce in it. It's so foul and it just, you pour it out. It smells so good though. Oh my God. Good quiz, but that was, that was. I can't believe you also, you didn't care for the Worcestershire.

No. I do like Worcestershire. It goes great on steaks. I don't like anything I can't spell. Well, Jack, thank you for entertaining me and all of us as we get to laugh at you for when, when is, what's like the statute of limitations? If you're tasting smell doesn't come back within X time.

I'd say like three weeks. Okay. So three weeks from that. That's no longer fun. Three weeks from May 2nd. We can no longer laugh about it. We'll put a hard stop there. Okay.

So May 23rd. Yeah. We can no longer laugh about it. So guys, let's get our jokes and fun in the meantime before we can't laugh or joke about it anymore. Cause we have successfully manifested the Jack's films taste and smell blindness. I, I got to tell you guys, I did not mean to manifest that.

That was, that was a like witchcraft gone wrong moment. Yeah. If anything. You're too powerful. I want to manifest fun, good things. Well, you know, you can manifest with me right now. Jack, from what season is it? Oh, you know, it's Christmas.

See, I have no idea what season is it, Aaron? Okay. So the episode is going to come out on May 2nd. Yes. Which is delightfully Taurus season. Taurus? What do you know about Taurus, Jack? Let me tell you a little bit about Taurus's.

Taurus's are a little bit of a stinker. Do you know what their animal is? A bull. Look at you. It's like you don't play Elden Ring or anything because you're bull in Elden Ring is named Torrents, right? Oh, what a stretch. Oh, you see what I did there?

Barely. Okay. Honey. Yes. Can you help me manifest this week's Taurus horoscope? I sure can. Okay. Take my hand.

Okay. Taurus, Taurus, Taurus. Do you ever think that you are helpless? Well, have you ever considered trying e-harmony? Over, yup. Match? Wait, no. Yeah.

Christian. Oh, Jesus. Oh, what's it called? Mingle. Dot com. 5 million. Elons. Can't.

Even. Period. So. If. You. Want. To. Be.

On. E-harmony. You. Need. 5 million. NFTs. Worth. Of.

Elons. Getting there. Doge coins. Oh. I thought we've created a, sorry, I thought we made elons into a currency. Oh. Elons is the new currency. Let's back up then.

It's fine. We're just going to pick up from there. Keep going. Okay. Sorry. If. Jack. Said.

Weird. Nonsensical. Things. But. It's. Expected. Since. His.

COVID. You're the most disappointing glance at me when you said COVID. Taurus. I. Wonder. If. You. Are.

Single. And. Ready. To. Fornicate. On. A. Website.

If. You. Are. Then. Have. Fun. Today. On.

Christian. Mangle. Yeah. Dot com. You. Won't. Regret. It.

At. All. Ever. Yay. Taurus. I think there's a nugget of wisdom somewhere in there. This is a nugget of wisdom. I think there's a nugget of wisdom somewhere in there.

This horoscope is not sponsored by e harmony or. Not at all. Or elons. Or elons or NFTs or any of the things. But it is sponsored. With the guidance of the gods above. And our hearts. And viewers like you.

And Jack's COVID brain. Yeah. Well that about does it for this week's episode of Aaron is the COVID one. Thanks so much for tuning in listeners and be sure. To mask up and social distance. I really do believe it works. I didn't do it. And now I have COVID.

And now my husband can't smell or taste. Not that he could. All that well in the first place. But now he really, really can't. So mask up. If you are one of the minority of the population that has not gotten COVID yet. Please stay safe. Keep our people safe.

And. Love you. Be good. Also calling at our hotline. Dad hug me 10. Dad hug me 10. I'd love to hear your COVID stories and text in too. Also, if you guys have experienced loss of the smell and taste.

What I want to hear is how you had it returned. We are literally willing to try anything to try to get Jack's smell and taste back. That way I don't have to hear about it for the rest of my life. We made our fun little taste test podcast. I'm ready to get it back. Yes. So please text call in with your home remedies, actual remedies, whatever you have. Please.

We want to hear about it because we want to try it. So next time haters. Bye.