Erin is the Funny One - The Twitter Quiz

Episode Date: March 7, 2022

This week, Jack and Erin dive into an…elemental wine that is definitely trying its best! Then, Jack quizzes Erin on celebrity tweets - how many times can she guess Nicki Minaj? Listen to find out! Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Welcome back! What the hell was that? What the hell was that? Oh my god, it's a new episode of Aaron is the Funny One, starring as always Jackie Douglas and Ernie Bursey. Wow, Jackie, eh? Yeah, I'm gonna try something out. It's my new- Alright, alright. Use it.

Alright. I will not answer to any variant, just Jackie. But Jackfilm is your name. Sorry, who's that? I'm sorry. The person you're trying to reach has died or whatever Taylor Swift says. Wacky Jackie, it is. So it's our 32nd episode.

Tacky Jackie. That's a good one. Tacky Jackie. Tacky Jackie, that's fine. Yeah, tacky Jackie. You're feeling 32. Judges, they'll allow it. 32.

I don't know about you. When I was 32, the pandemic hit. I'm pretty sure. Wait, no. Was I 33? I'm 20, 20. No, I was 32 in the pandemic hit. How about that?

What? And I was a- 32 was fun until it wasn't. Does that mean- It's like this podcast. Wait, is that a bad luck charm? Or is that an omen for this podcast, this episode? I don't know.

I guess we'll have to wait and see. Well, I do have some fun things cooked up. But before we begin- Maybe we'll have a batch of bad wine that, like, will- we will, like, end up barfing or, like, hallucinating or- No, that's a good wine.

You want that wine. Speaking backwards. I thought you were going to say speaking in tongues, but that's even cooler. Yeah, speaking backwards. Yeah, but- I just said the devil is here at backwards. Wow, Jack.

This is why we're E for ex- Ernie. No, I'm not taking credit for that one. This is why we're E for explicit, because you're talking about the devil. Hey, fix your mic. Stop touching my mic, and I won't have to fix it.

Lord. That's a euphemism. Hey, speaking of touching stuff, let's talk about and touch this week's Wine of the Week. This is also another wine from our friend Sonia. But it's also very Sonia-esque, because Sonia is, like, a sciency person, sort of, kind of.

And the label of this wine looks like an element from the table of elements, the so-called elements, that we allegedly have in science. Looks like one of them science squares that those city slickers use. It says SB as the, like, that's the symbol of the element.

Wait, is there an element that has SB? I can't believe you don't know this. Everyone knows- I don't know shit about elements. It's element number 349. How many elements are there? Over a thousand. Are there really?

No. Oh, because I'm like, that table does not have over a thousand squares. Got them. But it says SB. But what's funny is, I think SB stands for Sauve Blanc.

I think so. I think that's a safe bet. Sauve Blanc. But when I see SB, I think of Santa Barbara. What do you think of Jack film? Sparrow. No shit.

That makes sense. That actually totally makes sense. That's really- That's my knee-jerk reaction. All right. Does Sparrow still exist? Did that- I'm sure Sparrow survived the-

Does anybody actually know how to pronounce Sparrow? Yeah, I was like- I was guessing as soon as I said it, I was like, that's not right. Sparrow. Dude, that- Man, that was like the- Oof.

I wonder how much garbage Italian food I ate from a Sparrow as a child. I don't think I've eaten there since I was probably like 10. Maybe? I'm sure I went there. We're getting so off track. No, we're not.

This is important material that we need to cover. And I'm looking it up right now if Sparrow still exists. Okay. Okay. Please do. While she's looking up, if Sparrow still exists- I think it's Sparrow. Sparrow, I'm sorry.

While she's looking up that- I'm going to give this Sauve Blanc a little- No shit. Get this. There is- Sparrow plenty, people. No- No more fretting.

Sparrow is alive and well. And they survived the pandemic, apparently. I love a happy ending. That's a company. I feel like I should do more research on Sparrow. Oh, in what regard? Like how much are they paying their executives? Oh my God.

And on that note- Imagine being like, hi, I'm the president of Sparrow. And it's like, wow, that is not only like a very high powered position and pretty impressive, but also it's Sparrow. Please, Sparrow's my father's name. Yeah. Anyway, sorry, Jack. What were you-

You were saying something? What was that? 20 of our listeners who are still here and haven't clicked off yet. We are about to try this Sauve Blanc simply titled- SB. Yeah, I think that's just the title. SB. Right?

Is that what it's called? Well, it says- It says- It's SB. And then it says Sauve Blanc. Blanc. And then it says sunset vineyard. So what?

I think it's a sunset vineyard. Hmm. But at the top, right? It says vineyard collection substance Washington state. So maybe it's substance, maybe the brand is- You know what? I'm going to take a picture of it and I'm going to let the Vivino app tell me what this wine is all about.

Why don't you do that, honey? And in the meantime, why don't you take a big old sip, gargle that shit into your uvula. Get your uvula bouncing like boobies on the surface of pool water in a hot tub. And then you just let your uvula do the tasting. And you let me know. I can't.

I'm a boy. You let me know. I don't have a uvula. But I'll take a sip anyways. Oh my. This one oozes gold and prisms. I'm getting prisms. I'm getting essence of prisms.

What on? Are you? You don't even smoke weed. What are you talking about? And wheat. Okay. So once again, Sonia, stop spending so much fucking money on us. My goodness.

I am annoyed at how high- How much? $22.99. Sonia. Sonia. Sonia. Okay. So the brand is Substance.

And it's a soft, long sunset vineyard 2019. It's from Columbia Valley, Washington. And on average, well, see, this is what it says. Rating based on all vintages, three and a half out of five. So what would you give it? What did you say? I would give it a, yeah, three to three and a half out of five. Because it's a soft block for sure.

But if I'm being snobbish. No, it's super minerally. It's got a really strong like mineral. Minerally. Yeah. It's minerally. Oh, those are the prisms you're tasting. I prefer like the sweeter.

Like there's some sobs that taste like flipping apple juice listeners. And that's, that's what really, this doesn't, this is not on that spectrum. That really tickles. This is on the rock. This is on the spectrum of rocks. Not the. Hmm. Hence the minerals.

It's very minerally. What would you give it out of 10? What's your Ernie Burslin rating? We're dying to know. Well, it's not for me. And again, no such thing as a bad wine. Oh, I agree. Wine is what you like.

Not what other people tell you to like. Wine is where the ward is. I'm going to put this one, like three and a half out of 10. Wow. I'm not harsh. Yeah. Well, it just, it's, well, no. Okay.

Maybe a four and a four. I'll give it a four and a half out of 10. Cause it's not. I'm grateful. It's not so bad that I'm like, yeah. Yeah. Get away from me. But it's like, it's just not my style.

So I guess I'll give it points for existing and trying. It's hardest. And I'm sure some other person would love it and adore this wine for all the value that it brings and the inner beauty contest that it definitely would win. But it's just not for me. Points for existing and trying. Yeah.

That's what every girlfriend I've ever had is told me when breaking up. It's not you. It's me. But in this case, I mean, I guess I'm going to say it's you. It's, it's not me. It's you, but at the same time, but isn't that everybody? That's everybody's experience in everything.

She puts her hand on my shoulder. She puts her hand on my shoulder and says, Hey champ, points for existing. I don't like you because it is about me, but I'm sure somebody else will love you for who you are and what you are. And they will. I'll find them one day. They think you're delicious and wonderful, but it's not, it's

not me. And that's why. Is that the tea says next. What? And that's why I'm out. I just, I just, you just, yeah. The dating show next. Yeah.

And the shark tank. All those shows. Oh yeah. Bring it back next though, bring back the show next. That was such a stage show. That show was such garbage, but it was, it was wonderful garbage. It was, it was delicious garbage. It was like junk food.

You've seen, we've seen the episode together where. Does he next all five girls or does she next all five guys? I don't remember. It's wonderful. Look it up on YouTube. And I hope that she next at all five guys just cause. Yeah. Girl power.

Yeah. Yeah. But if he next at all five girls, then well, good for him. I'm glad he's going home alone. Fuck that guy. So. La, la, la, la, la, la. Double standards.

Are fine. No. Aaron. Yeah. I have concocted something truly special for this podcast. I actually have. I have been a very busy little lady B. You have no idea.

I've barely even seen you the last few days because we've been both very busy lady B's, I guess. And I, I, I don't think we've even like discussed what we're going to do on today's podcast. No, not at all. So this will be quite a surprise for you. Yeah. And I'm pleased to announce.

That John White has retired from snowboarding because he was so appalled by Jack's films is. Oh, boarding quiz. He was like, no, he loved it. It was so hard. He got half of it wrong. He was like, wow.

I could have sworn that was a snowboard trick. All right. What? He sounds like Colombo. I don't know. He does not sound like a regular normal person. Just one more thing. Okay.

So this is a truly special quiz that has come from the hotline. And before I go on, I just want to let you guys know listeners, if you have an idea you want to share with us, if you come up with a fun quiz idea that we should grill the other party on, or if you just have questions, concerns, or just want to chat or text with us. As I'm about to reveal our hotline number is dad hug me 10.

That's D A D H U G M E one zero dad hug me 10. And this particular quiz idea did not come from a voicemail. It came from a text, an anonymous text or text it into the hotline. No shit. Wait, really? They were like, I am anonymous. Do not name me. Well, there is no name.

There's just a number. Usually what I do when I try to credit somebody, Jack, and they text the idea in is that I say, I love this idea so much. Could you please give me your name and pronouns? I'd love to give you the proper credit for it. And here you are. You're just like, never mind. I'm not going to do that.

I'm just going to take all the credit for myself and call them anonymous. Okay, I'm texting them right now. Honey, here is what they suggested. Here's an idea for a quiz. Essentially, you give one or more tweets from a YouTuber slash celebrity slash musician. And the other person has to guess who posted that tweet. I don't get.

Do I get a multiple choice? So what I've done is I've searched up a whole mess of tweets from various celebrities. Okay. And I made it a multiple choice quiz. Okay. So. Oh my God.

I don't spend that much time on Twitter recently, but I don't doubt. Even if you did recent. I don't think I'd know it. Yeah. Cause I didn't. I mean, like I don't famous. I don't famous. I don't follow a ton of famous people on Twitter either.

So like, I have no idea what celebrities are tweeting about. Or I did see in some comedy routine. I was watching recently that apparently all Leonardo DiCaprio tweets is about the earth dying. He loves his earth outside of that. I have no idea what people tweet and like who's like a good celebrity follow or a bad celebrity follow. No clue.

I don't think it would help you because this is, this is a hard enough quiz. I am someone who spends all day on Twitter. And if you gave me this quiz, I would be very fooled. So honey and listeners play along too. It's multiple choice. I'm going to read out loud a real tweet from a real celebrity. Trump better be on this list.

Trump's all the answers actually. I guess we could do it in such a way where you take a guess first before I give you the multiple choice options. Just guess. Okay. Oh, I love that. And then I'll give you three choices. It'll be one of three choices.

I will keep score and I will not be grading on a curve. All right. First question or first tweet, I should say this tweet reads TGIF. Thank God I'm Fergie. I think it's Fergie from the Black Eyed Peas. Okay. Here are your choices. Fergie, Adele, Jaden Smith.

Oh, Jaden Smith for sure. Is that your final answer? Yes. Yeah. Final answer, Jaden Smith. No, it was Fergie. And that was the warm up question. That was a gimme honey.

TGIF. Thank God I'm Fergie. Said Fergie. You don't even know Fergie. You don't even know Fergie. Yes, I do. She's saying the greatest version of our national anthem. But you never even heard Glamorous.

We went on this roller coaster. Glamorous isn't real. Universal Studios in Orlando, Florida. And you can play. They have like, you choose the song you want to play. Oh, the Rockin' Roller Coaster. Yeah, whatever it's called. Well, no, Jack, that's Disney.

Oh, you're right. Well, I have something similar. Anyway. It was something. It was something new. Glamorous from Fergie. And I told Jack, wow, the last time I think I listened to this song was the last time we were here.

In like 2018 or 19 or whatever it was. And Jack's like, what? Well, I don't know that song. And I was like, so anyway, shame Jack film. Thank God I'm Fergie. Little loser. Don't even act like, you know, Fergie is. You probably didn't even know.

She was used to me. And I was like, I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

I probably didn't even know. She used to be married to Josh Duomo. No, I didn't. I don't care. So you're over one. It's only going to get harder for me. Great. Okay.

Here's a real tweet. I just sharded myself. That's when you fart and you shit yourself on accident. Joe Biden. Oh, did you peek, honey? No, don't. Is it Chris Jenner, Frankie Munez or share? Share.

Is that your final answer? Yeah. I think it's share. It's a good guess. It's not share. It's actually Chris Jenner. No way. Chris Jenner said, I just sharded myself.

That's when you fart and you shit yourself on accident. I don't believe you. I don't believe you. I checked today. It's actually real. She tweeted it in 2012. Hasn't deleted. It's still up there.

Pretty sure. Yeah. I clicked the hyperlink. Do you even know who Chris Jenner is? Yeah. Who is it? Tell me about Chris Jenner. Yeah.

I know who Chris Jenner is. Who is Chris Jenner? Chris Jenner is Pamela Anderson's mom. Next up. No, I'm serious. Who's Chris Jenner? Chris Jenner is actually Kim Kardashian's mother. Do you know who she's in a relationship with?

Caitlyn Jenner. No, Jack. They've been divorced for quite some time. Well, they were. Sure. Do you know who she's in a relationship with now? Her best self. I don't know.

Hmm. Yeah. See? You don't know who Christian is, do you? No, but you don't know who tweeted any of these things. So I guess we're on an even playing field. Yep. Okay.

Next one. You can't even name all the Kardashians and Jenners. No, I can't. Next one. Or their children. This one's one word. I believe it was deleted, but it was screen grabbed. Oil.

Who tweeted oil? Joe Biden. That's a good guess. But I don't think, I don't think Joe shows up in any of these options. So who tweeted oil? Was it Joel Austin? Oh. Martha Stewart.

Or Cher. Who tweeted oil? Shit. Martha. Martha. I'm going to say Martha. Is that your final answer? No.

Cher. Where's my final answer? Should have gone with Martha. No. Damn it. On April 22nd, 2013, Martha Stewart simply tweeted oil. No. Guys, go with your gut.

Never hesitate. Go with your gut. Man, it's easy to keep score when you get zero of them right. Shut up. Next one. Simple tweet. It's a question. It's less of a tweet and it's a simple question.

Do ants poop? Where is the dog belly button? Do ants poop? Do you want me to give you options? Nicki Minaj. Good guess. Thank you. So here are your options for who tweeted do ants poop?

Jaden Smith. Cardi B. Cher. Cardi B. Is that your final answer? It is. It's my final answer. You're correct.

You're on the board. Yes. Cardi B tweeted on May 14th, 2020, do ants poop? Hey, pandemic hit us all in different ways, man. It's not like you can simply look these up on the internet. People didn't know what to do in that pandemic hit. Next up, I believe this one was deleted as well. I just used a Sharpie as eyeliner in the airplane bathroom.

Your guesses are. No, wait, I want to guess. Okay. I want to guess. I want to guess. Okay. So who tweeted, I just used a Sharpie as eyeliner in the airplane bathroom.

Cher. Okay. Here are your options. Cher loves her eyeliner. Machine gun Kelly. Damn it. Taylor Swift. No, not her.

Cher. Fuck. Machine gun Kelly is a good one. Cher, I'm going to go Cher. Staying with your gut, huh? No machine. Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, damn it. Why is being right so important to me?

What does it matter? Why do I care? Because you're competitive. And you've got a lot riding on the line here. Machine gun Kelly. I'm changing it. It's machine gun Kelly. Is machine gun Kelly your final answer?

Yes. Believe it or not, on February 18, 2010, Taylor Swift tweeted that out. Wow. Used Sharpie as eyeliner in the airplane bathroom. Sorry. That old Taylor can't come to the thumb right now. She died. Taylor Swift in 2022 would never put Sharpie on her eyeballs.

Because you know why? Why? Because she's had Lasik. And so she doesn't want to fuck up her eyeballs. Okay. That's a point. And Sharpie, even though it's on your eyelids, it still could bleed into it. It's just like you're asking for complications and a mess that nobody needs.

Because then she's going to need to go to the hospital in a fucking suitcase and like, you know, whole thing. I hope you listeners are listening because Aaron's dropping some truth bombs. Taylor Swift has traveled to places by stuffing herself into a suitcase. I thought that's what you said. I was like, wait a minute. That's correct. That's absolutely correct.

This next one's a real humdinger. A true friend walks in when everybody else walks out. A true friend doesn't rub it in when you make a mistake. They rub it out. Ew. Who tweeted that? Wait. Jayden Smith.

All right. Let's see if Jayden is on our list. Your options are Ryan Reynolds, Joel Austin, Cher. Ryan Reynolds. Is that your final answer? Yes. Final answer. No, it's Joel Austin.

He deleted it. Stop it. Wait, can you reread it? I would love to. I think it was one of those like, he's trying to like write a fucking, the equivalent of a motivational, you know, quote, poster quote or whatever. But he just didn't realize that he ends it with, they rub it out. So here's a tweet again.

A true friend walks in when everybody else walks out. A true friend doesn't rub it in when you make a mistake. They rub it out. I think he realized the error in his tweet and deleted a tail between his legs. I used to work across from this woman. We like shared a cube wall, but we never talked. So I would just hear, she would be on the phone like all day, like on personal calls. So I would just like listen to, listen to her calls all day.

And guys, she had some, she had some really interesting humans are very fascinating characters. But every time I would walk past her desk, I would see that she had a big Joel Austin. Oh no. Book. Yeah. She kept his book at her desk. And that's when I think of Joel Austin, I think of my old coworker, Stella, who has since left the company.

Here's another one. This isn't a tweet, but it's a, it's a like. I want to ask you who liked porn from their account. So you know how Twitter, you can like things. Wait, I feel like I remember here. It was like Ted Cruz or something. I'm going to say is Ted Cruz. Okay.

Yeah. Specifically from the Twitter account sexual posts. Who liked actual porn from their actual real verified account. Ted Cruz, Joel Austin share. No, it was, I'm pretty sure it was Ted. You were correct. I love a good booger eating man. Just not Ted Cruz.

Ted Cruz is not, I love a man who eats his own boogers, but he's not afraid of like a little porn ladies. God, that was such a great news story. That was a fucking wonderful. I think he blamed his intern. Like, yeah, I want my interns to do that for me. Like, no, no. Oops.

I mean, whoopsie. Sorry. I can say that Cruz is the best. You should get, you should go watch comment etiquette. I was actually going to say, can we get a shout out to comment etiquette who dunks on um, dunks on them daily. It's beautiful. All right.

Remember I showed you the Tik Tok that somebody had like, somebody had, um, received a holiday card from the cruise family and it was very obvious that one of the daughters was not too pleased to be there and was not interested in it at all. And then she was actually like, somebody had uploaded this to Tik Tok and then the comment section was all about, oh my God, the older daughter, no interest in being there, whatever. And she found the Tik Tok and was commenting back on things. I took a few screenshots because I was like, I know this is going to go away.

So anyway, that was like, one of the highlights of this past holiday. Season. Oh, that didn't. Yeah, right. Merry fucking Christmas. That was a great present for everyone. I remember you showed me that and I was floored. Okay.

Another question, a few questions actually here. Someone tweeted this. Somebody told me that's human pee will help your hair grow. Can somebody try it and tell me if it works? Any guesses? Oh, you want me to guess? I'm kidding. Because yeah, yeah, you're welcome.

So mean. Nicki Minaj. Here are your options. Cardi B 50 cent share. Again, here's the tweet. Somebody told me that's human pee will help your hair grow. Can somebody try it and tell me if it works? I'm going to guess Cardi B because apparently every time I think something is Nicki Minaj,

it's actually Cardi B. So I'm going to, I'm going to guess Cardi B. Is that your final answer? Yes. It's Cardi B. Oh my God. Okay. So next time I get the sense that, oh, this must be Nicki Minaj.

I'm actually, I'm just going to say Cardi B. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well done. All right. So you got three right so far. There are 19 questions total.

Let's keep this train rolling. Never going to a Ryan Goslin movie in a theater again. Apparently masturbating in the back row is still considered inappropriate. Ryan Reynolds. Here are your choices. Anna Kendrick, Billy Eichner, share. Billy Eichner. Is that your final answer?

Yeah. I love Billy on the street. He's so funny. Anna Kendrick. No way. Yes. Yes. I was shocked too.

Anna. Anna. I hardly knew thee. I guess she got it from her, you know, the years that she dated Edgar Wright. Wait, hold on a second. I'm so sorry. That was so misogynistic of me to credit her sense of humor to a man. No, I take that back.

Good for her. Master be in all the theaters. Yas Queen go off. We stand a sexually free woman. Okay. Next one. Honey, who tweeted this? Cowabunga, dude.

I'm so pumped to be on the surfing kick. Who else serves out there? Gnarly day in the H2O. Riding waves. If only you could see my face, people. Who is like the opposite of like a surfer person? That's what I'm like. This has got to be like ironic or sarcastic.

Fuck. Joe Biden. Oh my God, you got it right. I think it's Joe Biden. Yeah. Here are your choices. Betty White, Kim Kardashian, share. Share.

And share your final answer. No, it's not. Betty White. Your final answer. Yeah. Betty White is my final answer. The correct answer is Kim Kardashian. What?

She's not funny. She's not funny. Well, maybe she was in August 28th, 2010. Maybe she was. Honestly, it's very possible. It was a lifetime ago. We were all different people in 2010. Simpler times.

12 years ago, Instagram didn't even exist. That's not right. Well, maybe it did, but nobody was on it. I didn't get on it until. I believe that. 2011 or 2012. I believe that. Yeah.

Yeah. Cowabunga due debts. Kim Kardashian was like not what she is today by any. Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no. Which means that. Not even a little bit. She actually quite possibly could have been funny before she became what she is now, which is just this like stoic like.

Girl boss. Girl boss. She's, she's a girl boss. She's a girl boss. But stoic is a very good word for her. Yes. Yes. Kim, if you're listening and I know you are.

I know she is. Whatever it takes to reignite that wonderful sense of humor of yours. You know, you got to do it. More surfer tweets, please. And more of your tweets with gnarly day in the H2O. Right. And waves. She is a count.

By the way, I guess I just got to like say this. Yeah. Now that I live in California. I'm like so disenchanted with it, but as a child, teenager, young adult living on the East Coast, having to deal with winter and. Nothing's more glamorous. And you see on TV, these kids that eat lunch outside. Right.

That don't even have indoor hallways. Their lockers are outdoors. No, nothing's cooler. When you're from the East Coast, you're watching like shows set in California. Oh my God. California was the shiznit as a, you know, child in Pennsylvania. It's very alluring. It's so alluring.

And so I'm like, she's a California native and I'm like Cal Bunga dudes. Like she gets it. She knows. She knows we're all like going to Bayside High and we're like, you know, going to the beach after school and we're going to hang out. We're going to just like go to the peach pit or whatever. Yeah. To quote Kim Kardashian, who else serves out there?

Yeah. That could apply to so much. All right. Next up. Who said this tweet? I can't believe my grandmother's making me take out the garbage. I'm rich. Fuck this.

I'm going home. I don't need this shit. Machine gun Kelly. Great guests. He's not on my list, but here, here's who's on my list. Justin Bieber. 50 cent share. 50 cent.

I think he's like actually kind of funny. Is that your final answer? Yeah. He and Chelsea Handler dated for a while. Okay. She's funny. The correct answer is 50 cent. Yeah.

Okay. So something I need to look up, but like what's funny is that I feel like I remember 50 cent like how to declare bankruptcy and like click, like said, like I have told me that before, right? I feel like I need to look that up. The fact check myself. But then he was like lending like millions of dollars to people like that guy. Remember Fofdie?

Yes. Like I'll get you your money. Fofdie or whatever it was. Like that was like a whole like gate of itself and like that was, I don't know. It's just kind of like, well, why don't you make all that money back? If you had to declare bankruptcy just a few years ago. Hold on. Let me, let me look that up.

Let me look that up real quick. Okay. Okay. So, all right. So I don't totally know all the details of this, but apparently he did file for chapter 11 reorg. Okay. Which is like chapter seven means like, which makes me think he's, he was like,

it was a company, not maybe personal bankruptcy. But a reorg means like, Hey, I just need help getting rid of some of my debts and like reorganizing all of my assets and stuff like that. When you do chapter seven and you liquidate in bankruptcy, you basically are like, I'm getting rid of everything and it's just dissolving. So anyway, but he did, he did 11, but apparently it was also discharged because he did pay some of his debt. So I need to like, I don't know all the details, but he did file.

At the very least he did file in 2015. Okay. Yeah. Next one. Do identical twins have the same exact DNA? Like if one twin murders someone and leaves their DNA, can the other twin get blamed? Who asked these very forensic questions, Erin? Why do you think they were interested?

Well, maybe that's a clue. Cole Sprouse. Okay. Let's see if Cole, it's not, but let's see who it could be. Jayden Smith. Kim Kardashian. Cher. Kim Kardashian.

Is that your final answer? It is my final answer. You are correct. Nice. Look, she was always meant to be a lawyer and she was always in, she wanted to be invested in the criminology of it all and understand. Cowabunga dudettes. You know, this is why she's going to become one of the greatest attorneys of all time.

That question's on the bar, right? Yeah. Yeah. I think so. Well, it's on the baby bar that she, she failed it like four times. Right. Like, yeah. Yeah.

Thank you. I often confuse the two. Here's a real brain buster for you and I'm reading this verbatim. Why is Rhode Island nor a road or an island? I really like the completely wrong use of nor. You don't open with nor. But why is Rhode Island nor a road or an island? Justin Bieber.

Okay. Your choices are Justin Bieber. Frankie Munez. By the way, Frankie Munez's dad was my Uber driver once. And Cher. I'm sticking with my original guess of Justin Bieber. Is the Biebs your final answer? Yes.

Baby, you're correct. Way to get it right on the first try. Yes. That's impressive. I get extra points for that, right? I get like three points. You get a shiny point. Instead of one point, I get three points because I got it without any.

Three points. Yeah. That's three points. All right. I can give you three points because that was a really impressive. You got him on the first try. I was shocked. I had to hide my shock.

What's really interesting is that, when did he tweet that? All the way back in December 4th, 2009. Okay. What's interesting, a little bit of foreshadowing here. He ended up marrying Hailey Baldwin, whose middle name is Road. If that's not Kismet. Yeah. I don't know what is.

Wait, let me make sure. Hold on. Let me make sure that that's real. And I'm not making that up. Hold on. Please verify with our judges, honey. Yeah. Road.

How about that? Yeah. Hailey Road. Yep. Okay. So far, your score is, it's really six, but it's eight because you wanted three points because you're greedy. But you have a score of eight right now, but these questions only get harder.

Like this one, do ants have dicks? Cardi B. Okay. I'm going to read you these options. Courtney Kardashian. Lady Gaga. Share. Share.

Is that your final answer? Yes. No, it's Courtney Kardashian. Oh my God. What year? 2010. Do ants have dicks? Did Google, Google existed in 2010?

We were using that shit in like seventh grade in like 1999. No. Google didn't come into play until like 2018, 19. Somebody help out Courtney Kardashian. Maybe, you know what? It's not, maybe she thought Twitter was Google. I've never seen those tweets that are literally just like old men Googling stuff, but they just like the joke is they're misusing Twitter as Google.

Yeah. Maybe it was that. She doesn't seem to. Those are my favorite things. By the way, at one time, like the other day at work, we have like our Skype like buddy lists or whatever, like a contact list and you can put in like a written message. Like you're supposed to put where your location is if you're like, whatever. Let's say like John Smith's written message was Alec Baldwin basically.

Like he had like typed in another co-worker's name. Okay. And I, it was just like, oh, that's so embarrassing. Oh, that's so cringe. Yeah. Yeah. But you love that. You eat that shit up, right?

Oh, I love that. I took a screenshot of it. Yeah. That sounds like a fun challenge, guys. And your next like a group Zoom meeting. Oh my gosh. Just type in the group chat. Do ants have dicks?

Sorry. I thought it was Google. I want to hear work cringe stories so badly. Oh, there's a, hey, listeners, call in with your cringe stories. Maybe we could do a whole up on that. Next up. Okay, boys. What's your ball size?

Oh, okay. If the last one wasn't shared, this one for sure. Here are your options. Billy Eichner, Nicki Minaj, share. No. That's so hard. Yeah. No.

Again, the tweet is okay, boys. What's your ball size? Billy Eichner. I love Billy. I think he's so funny. I follow like 18 like pages of Billy Eichner. Billy on the street stuff on Tik Tok. I know it's free booting.

It's horrible, but he's. Yeah. You support free booting. It's disgusting. He's so funny. Is that your final answer? I just love that. Do you know who this person is?

Yeah. And it's just like wave in the background. The desperation. I'm going to say Billy Eichner. Yeah. That's your final answer? Final answer. Honey, it's Nicki Minaj.

No. Of all the times I swore to myself, oh my gosh. On April 28th, 2013. What does that even mean? What's the ball size? What does that even mean? What's your ball size? But like I'm a medium.

I'm a large. Like what does that mean? Sure. It's all, it's just like any other clothing size. It's all like subjective to whatever they decide to. I just, I love her intro to it. Okay, boys. What's your ball?

Like as if it's like inevitable. Like, well, we got to ask the ball size question. Okay, boys. Like, it's beautiful. Here's to you, Nicki Minaj. No. Next tweet. I cry because I love Justin Bieber.

Billy Eichner. Your options are Justin Bieber. Justin Bieber. Joe Jonas. Cher. Cher. I hope to God Cher is a like meme account of loving Justin Bieber. So badly.

Is Cher your final answer? Cher's my final answer. No. The person who wrote I cry because I love Justin Bieber was Joe Jonas. Back in 2010. Joe Jonas. Yeah. Wow.

In 2010, his now wife was 12 years old. I'm pretty sure. Oh, for real? Well, hold on. Let me do the math here. I think she's like, well, no. You know what? I think she's like 26.

Well, how old was Joe Jonas? Was he like still a teen? Or in his 20s? I think he's a little younger than me. So how old? So 12 years ago. He was in his early 20s. Damn.

He was born in 89. Okay. Like Taylor Swift. Yeah. How about that? Next up. I'm calling my next album Adele. Is Adele spelled like Adele or Adele?

Yes. Adele is spelled. Dude, you're getting Adele. No, it's spelled like the name and it's all capitals. All capital letters in Adele. I'm calling my next album Adele. Adele. Final answer.

Your options are Adele. Yes. Lady Gaga. Cher. You did say Adele. Final answer. Adele. Final answer.

The correct answer is Lady Gaga. Well, actually I was thinking maybe Lady Gaga, but she named her album something else. She named it like after her like middle name. Joanne. Joanne. I'm pretty sure. Okay. Yeah.

This is back in 2019. So not quite as ancient, not nearly as ancient as some of these other tweets. Yeah. Joanne 2016. She didn't even name her next album. Look, she came out with an album in 2020 called Chromatica. She lied to us. She did lie to us.

She. We should hold her accountable. We need to hold her accountable for her lies. I have two questions left. Okay. Two tweets left. Okay. Here's the penultimate tweet.

Okay. Better be fucking Cher. Cher needs her moment. Are you finished? Are you finished? I know I've probably tweeted this before, but damn. I love sausage. Okay.

Moon pie. Oh, the moon pie account? Yeah. Moon pie. Moon pie is a celebrity. Moon pie is a celebrity. And moon pie loves sausage. That may be your best guess yet.

If you put a sausage in between the cakes of a moon pie, you might just get some marshmallow filling. Sorry. That whole idea is just foul and it hurts my heart to think of it. All right. Here are your options. Frankie Muniz, Billy Eichner, Cher. Cher.

This better be fucking Cher. I need Cher. Cher, your final answer. No, no, no. We all need Cher. Yes. Cher it is. It was Frankie Muniz.

No. Damn. I love sausage. If you guys want to know about my experience riding with Frankie Muniz's dad as my Uber driver, let me know. I will tell you. No, I don't have any tea. I just like could tell you about the ride.

He was very... Yeah, it's very tea-free, but it's interesting. He's a very nice man to me. That's all. Yeah. You love that. You love those stories. You love to hear those.

Yeah. He actually drove me to the first appointment that I had with my now therapist that I've been seeing since February of 2020, pre-pandemic. So it's been like two years, like over two years, but yeah. It was a very cool and very fun experience, and I hope he got to retire like he wanted to. Oh, honey. And listeners.

Yeah. This is the final tweet. Who tweeted this? What's going on with my career? And my career is typed like one word. Alec Baldwin. An educated guess. Yes.

Here are your three final options. Nicole Richie, Kourtney Kardashian, Cher. Listen. I'm listening. This is like a suicide mission. Yeah. Yeah. But if it's not fucking Cher, I'm going to be really, really upset.

You kept throwing her into the mix, and she never got the time of day that she deserves. Cher is a gem. I think she got plenty of time. I think she had her moment in the sun. But you're telling me you're thinking it's Cher who wrote, what's going on with my career? Yes. Is that your final answer? Yes.

Do you believe? It's Cher. And in life after love? I can see this feeling stronger now. Feeling high. Yeah. Yeah. Like one of the words like, I can see something excited me say.

That's it. I can see something inside of me say. I really can't feel. Nope. I really don't think. It's stronger. I'm stronger. Oh my God.

Then now. I've never felt stronger than now. It's Cher. You're correct. Oh my Lord. And with a final score of nine. The church of Cher. Out of 19.

And that's including the additional points I gave you for naming Justin Bieber from the get go. Congratulations. You know what? That's the Twitter quiz. You know what? How many would you have gotten? Oh, far fewer.

Yeah. Yeah. That's what I thought. It's hard, right? I had a lot of fun writing that today. Yeah. I'm glad that you had fun writing that for me, I in my heart, and I think that the listeners would agree that any test in which we are given that we are not prepared for and is randomized.

If we get any correct, we are champions. And I would say that with that, in fact, I am a champion and we as listeners of you and Nazley, horrible kind of chalkboard scratchy voice, we are all champions in having survived what you just put us through. I think that's very participation award of you, but that's fine. And thus, in closing and summation. In conclusion. We believe that not only are we champions today, but we are champions over you every

day, all the time, forever and always. Will we beat the shit out of wacky Jackie, Jackie film, tacky. Thank you for calling me by my legal name, but mostly lackey Jackie. Thank you. My pleasure. Anyway, yeah, no, I fucking killed that. I'm pretty proud of myself. I got nine out of 19 and I'm going to go ahead and say that with no preparation.

I think we did pretty well, pretty well. Also, probably need a more Joe Biden and a little bit more Trump, but that's fine. That's true. My next one will have much more of both of those. Also, I can't believe you didn't include Elon Musk. Oh boy. I have blown Twitter up for like the last like a hundred years, you know? Yeah.

Or you know what you also could have done more NFT people, the people that have created like NFT specific. Like we just like how the thirst and the cringe of it all. Yeah. Yeah. That would have been special. That would have been. It would have been, but it would have been like impossible to say for hashtags.

I would have been like, you know, hashtag dollar sign, you know, and then an acronym or something. That's like all they tweet. Just like it's on the rise, bro's hashtag dollar sign. And then like three or four letters. But yeah, it's fun. It also, we could have done with a little bit more, you know, like funny celebrities, like actual funny celebrities.

I would have really appreciated that. Like 2010 Kim Kardashian. She was a very funny celebrity. No, like 2022 Joe Biden. I don't know. I'm just kidding. I have no fucking idea what I don't. His tweets are rather boring.

Oh yeah. I would imagine. President's tweets should be. I would have. Exactly. He's not. Exactly. Biden's tweets should be.

Biden's not tweeting. Biden's not tweeting. Shit. Like I've never seen a skinny person drink. Oh my God. Oh my God. I'm so glad that man is not a Twitter account anymore, but then we wouldn't have tweets like that to look back on.

That's right, honey. But you know what? Let's get on to the horoscope. So I heard you have something planned for the Pisces in the audience. And I heard that I need you to describe what a Pisces is while I get set up here. I'm going to ask you to go ahead and you just, you just tell me what you think of Pisces is in. Pisces.

Pisces. And you just, you regale us with that. All the Pisces I know share these characteristics. They all love We Fit and can't stop playing it. Some Pisces can't afford We Fit, Jack. No, every Pisces I've ever met won't shut up about playing. We Fit. What a piece of shit you privileged, privileged man.

It's not a piece of shit. It's a Pisces. We Fit. Thank you. That was almost as good as my rap last week. Almost. Almost. Almost.

You're rapping last week was impeccable darling, I must say. Another thing that defines Pisces. Pisces are never late, nor are they early. They arrive precisely when they mean to. When they mean to, I like that. Okay. Okay. Kind of wizards in a sense.

Also, all Pisces love the hit anime cowboy bebop. Am I right fellow Pisces? Let's get honest and be real. You get them started on the spike and Julia romance. They won't shut up. And you know what I'm saying, fellow Pisces. Also, all Pisces, they're not religious, but they are spiritual. All Pisces love the show euphoria, but they hate all the characters.

Crazy. Okay. Thank God. What we're going to do today is we are going to be working with an actual horoscope from an actual horoscopian. Oh, so this is real. Like a real. It's real.

Horoscope. Except here's the thing is that like I have a certain gut feelings. I don't know if you knew this, but I have gotten the word on the first try like more than once. And the other day, I basically a God. Yeah. So I follow this guy one up or on Twitch and he plays Stardew Valley on Tuesday nights. And over Valentine's Day, he had this like contest where you had to guess how many of

the confectionary hearts or whatever they call it, the conversation hearts are in the jar. And I guess I think 476 and the actual number is 477. So like I think I think I have really deep, true gut feelings. And I think I should probably open up a hotline just to like tell people's fortunes. But outside of that, so I've been reading this like actual horoscope, Piscian horoscope thing. And I'm like, no, that doesn't feel right to me.

Hmm. Hmm. Doesn't feel right to me. Well, it's not that I could do better. It's just that I'm like, no, no, no, that's not right. And so Jack film, if you would just hold my hand, I'm going to transfer my powers to you. Okay.

Okay. So as we are connected, by the way, we are actually holding hands right now and I'm transferring my psyche powers. So sweaty. Ew. No, not. I feel wonder. Wait.

Do I feel like I don't feel cold. Do I feel warm? Just clammy. Shut up. No, you feel fine. Do I feel warm? No. Do I feel cold?

No, you feel just right. Okay. I'm room temperature. Yeah. Okay. All right. So I am transferring all of my psychic powers through to wacky, wacky, the most wacky Jackie right now and I'm going to have him complete the areas in which I'm like feeling not the

greatest about and then we're going to read back the horoscope. I love it. So Jack. Yes. Give me a verb. Dismiss. Okay. What's an emotion?

Joy. Is that too obvious? Can I give you another one? No. I can use the derivative of joy. Okay. Give me another emotion. Regret.

Give me a noun. Handkerchief. Give me another noun. Different noun. Different noun. I don't like the handkerchief. It doesn't feel right. Medicine ball.

Where is your head at? Medicine ball? Where's your head at? What are you at? Orange theory? Well, I looked at the exercise ball over there. Okay. Give me another one.

Different one. Okay. Clock. Okay. All right. We're just going to go with that. They're all nouns. Give me a verb.

Whip. Whip. Yes. Give me an adjective. Whimsical. Did you give me a noun? Poppy. Could you give me an adjective that you'd use to describe an insect?

Buggy. Disgusting. Okay. I hate those things. Could you give me the name of a noun that you saw today that wasn't in the last 45 seconds? Treadmill. Oh my God. I don't know.

What do you want me to say? Could you give me an adjective? Dashing. Give me another adjective. Plump. Give me another adjective. Okay. Bulbous.

Could you give me a state of time? Twilight. Twilight. Okay. Hold on. Just finishing up here. Ooh. A quickie.

Okay. Are you ready? I am. Pisces. Pisces. Pisces. Pisces. Instead of trying to beat them, dismiss them.

You may get joyous and regrettious at those who are having more clocks than you. Is regrettious a word? Did you just make that up? I hate you. Instead of trying to whip on their parade and make them think that they need to be whimsical all the time, why don't you just join in the puppy and have a good time yourself? Take a moment out of your disgusting day to enjoy yourself and the treadmill you're with. Encourage the dashing plump spirit instead of getting bulbous on it.

Discover what Twilight has in store for you. It's Edward Cullen and he is sparkly in the sun, so make sure to take him out in the sun and let him dazzle you until he abandons you and makes you think you love a werewolf. But your heart just isn't in it and then fast forward a few years and you have a kid named Renez Meph, which makes no sense at all, at all, but you do it anyway because it fits for the kitschy plot in the end. Is that it? That's your horoscope?

Pisces, I hope you wrote that down. That's really cool that an actual horoscope that you found has like the entire plot summary of the Twilight saga. That must be a real legit source. Also, the first sentence is surprisingly enlightening. Instead of trying to beat them, dismiss them. That's fucking brilliant. That's girl boss, that's shit.

That really is. Pisces, fellow water signs. We are in this together. Emotions, embrace them. Do not dismiss them. So what we do dismiss is the haters and- Bye. So we are not going to beat them.

We're going to dismiss them. It's such a baller move. I'm so excited for you. Thank you so much, Pisces. I hope you're having a wonderful Pisces season. It's a- Thrive. I forgot to say rabbit rabbit this month, so please pray for my soul.

Yeah, we need it, the both of us. And I forgot to say tibar tibar at night. Yeah, we're doubly fucked. Yeah, we're doubly fucked. Why not? Because you got a hell of a horoscope. And we're going to make our own luck with this one. That's right.

It's going to be like Sardu Valley where we wake up every day and we just like, are the spirits pleased with us today? Yeah, in that game you literally have to turn on the TV to see what the spirits think. It's the whole thing. Guys, thanks for listening to this week's episode of Aaron is the funny one. And as always, if you have any suggestions and quiz ideas or stuff, you just want to share it with us. You want us to talk about call us on our hotline or text us at our hotline.

The other way, the number is dad hug me 10. I really want to hear your cringe work stories. Do you have cringe any stories? Do you have a coworker that has a Joel Austin book and talks about her husband's anal fissures on the phone through the wall? I want to hear about that. My God. I didn't know about the anal fissures.

Well, that's why I was like, I loved listening to her conversations all day long. It was amazing. I wonder she needed Joel Austin. Need all sorts of saving. On that note, tune in next time. Haters. Bye, loves.