Erin is the Funny One - Whats Up With Those Mormons

Episode Date: January 11, 2026

Jack and Erin try out a cocktail advent calendar that doles out drinks at random - do either of them like their choices? Then, they read messages sent in from not one but TWO ex-mormons regarding a question Erin had in last week's episode: Why do some hotel rooms have bibles in the nightstand while others have the Book of Mormon (or both)? And to stay on theme, our brave hosts finish the quiz they started last time - is it a bible verse or a power metal lyric? Finally, your weekly horoscope tells you to get in an empty Uber. Better listen! Follow Erin and Jack on Instagram:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/2toesup/?hl=en⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/jacksfilms/?hl=en⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ To watch Erin Is The Funny One on YouTube: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/@jackisanerd⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast for free wherever you're listening or by using this link: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://bit.ly/erinisthefunnyone Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Visit medcan.com slash moments to get started. Welcome aboard via rail. Please sit and enjoy. Please sit and stretch. Steep. Flip. Or that. And enjoy.

Via rail, love the way. I think you and I both need a stiff one. Ew. Drinks, Aaron. Welcome back to my show called Jack is the unfunny one. It is I. Santa Claus. here to bring you coal in your stocking because I am joined by.

Am I crampus in the scenario? You know I'm not cool or manly or evil enough to be crampus. Do you think crampus is cool? And manly. What do you? Wait, I don't know much about crampus. So he looks like. Does he take shits in their shoes or something?

Isn't that like? I think so. That's like. Honestly, like not even. I think there's something with the shoes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. I don't know.

I can't tell you much about the lore. just that he punishes naughty children, I think. All children are naughty. He kind of looks like the devil, but in like a Santa outfit, more or less. I think you might be thinking of like the gremlins when they... I'm not thinking of the fucking gremlins. The lizard gremlins. Funny story, I never think about the gremlins.

You don't? Not really, no. Is it the water that makes them evil or the eating? I think the water. I think you get them wet and they spout off the little gremlins, I think. Okay, that, that's so they multiply. apply. I also like, because the ma the magwai were cute and adorable like furbies and very much fluffy and all the things. Right. I thought you were naming. I think it was the eating that made them

naughty. We have to watch it again because the last time we saw that movie, Gremlins was like what, seven years ago. It was a while. It was a while ago and I haven't seen it since it's not a Christmas tradition for me. I'm sure for a lot of families, a lot of a lot of viewers, listeners, maybe you've made that a Christmas time tradition to watch Gremlins. Honey, can I tell you what's on my mind? What? This week's wine of the week. And who bought it, Jack Phelm?

You did. That's right. Honey, can you describe this box we're looking at? I got an advent calendar of cocktails. So excited. It was a TikTok shop purchase. It's called 12 nights of cocktails. And it's by Straight Away.

Do you know anything about Straight Away? I've never heard of them. I don't know anything. Not sponsored. I paid with my money. They don't know who I am or what I've done. But we are going to, there's 12 cocktails in the Advent calendar, which might sound like what the hell.

But it's actually a good thing because Jack and I, every time we get an Advent calendar, we never get through it all because we end up leaving for the East Coast to spend time with our families. And then, you know, a lot of it goes to waste. So much more achievable with 12 cocktails and two people. Yes. And we can put a nice dent in this before we go home.

Right guys? Oh, you want a cocktail too? I love you guys. I'm sorry, but I have to... Stop. If your girls aren't careful, I'm going to be like that wealthy family in New York City and put you in a dark closet with all the towels. You're saying the inside thoughts outside again, Jack Films.

Oh, whoops. Okay, so... 12 nights of cocktails. Of the options we have here, we have a Thai gimlet, an Oregon old-fashioned, a nitro-aspresso martini. Margarita, Blanco Margarita, Manhattan, Paper Plain, Bees Knees, Gold Negroni, last word, Cosmos, and Maiti. And I think we should point out, for our listeners and viewers, these are random.

Yeah, they have question marks on them, so we don't know which is which. There are 12 little doors, you know, each with a cocktail in, and we, it's like mysteries. Which one do you hope you get? Well, I love me in old-fashioned. Yeah. They always give me hangovers, but I love the taste. It is an Oregon old fashioned. Whatever the fuck that means.

Whiskey, simple syrup, Philbert, and fur needle bitters. Do you know Philbert? I also don't know fur needle bitters. Maybe because I have, because I'm streaming after this, I might not hate the espresso martini just for a nice little, a little up with your down. Exactly. What about you?

What are you looking? Oh, wait, one last thing. I love a Mai Tai. You do love a Mai Tai. And that will make me happy. Wherever I go, I try to get a Maiton. tie how about you honey i am aiming for the gold ngroni you do love a ngroni i love a or a ca if it's lime juice yeah or a cosmos yeah that so i'm i want the gold nagroney or the cosmos i mean like i won't be

like totally upset with any of the others but like those are my top choices erin i have an ignorant question for you yes maybe you can help me out yes what's the difference between a cosmos and a cosmo i don't know i think it just made it up okay because so the they have the ingredients listed for under all of these. So a Cosmos consists of vodka, lime juice, Hibiscus, cardamam syrup. Thank you. And ginger. Whereas in a regular Cosmo, it's vodka, lime juice and cranberry. And, uh, triple sec, maybe? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Or simple syrup maybe, but gotcha. Yeah. Oh, look, they have the, they have the, uh, crunchy ice for the Mai Tai. I love that. I appreciate that. So, I'm so excited. For you, honey, it's been a long fucking month and a

half. So I think you get first dibs. Pick a winner. Okay. Can I pick yours too? Sure. Yeah. Okay. It's really cool. We don't know. Like we can see. I'm not going to go in order. I'm just going to pick it random. I like that. I like the of what the vibes are speaking to me. Go off vibes, honey. Yeah. That's what Christmas is all about. This is a great idea. Thank you TikTok. Oh, hold on. Is that yours or what you? It's yours. Yeah. Yeah. I don't want it. What is it? Oh, wait. Don't tell me. Don't tell me. Okay. Okay. Because I want. I want to like pour it, mix it and taste it. Oh, okay.

You know what I mean? Okay. Can I do the same for you? Sure. That's fun. Okay. So this is yours? Yeah.

Okay. I'm going to try to poker face it. Okay. All right. Let's shake it up. You know what? You can entertain our listeners while I shake them up both up. Who me?

Yeah, you. Wait, but you're going to see what it is. Oh, right. I'm going to shake it up. Okay. Aaron is about to sip hers. I want you to sip it and I want you to guess which cocktail you got from our cocktail advent calendar.

Okay. it is a pale gold color. A pale gold color, okay? So I chilled it and poured it into a chilled glass. She's studying the list of cocktails. She's going in for sip number two. Brow furrowed, vacant glaze. Nothing behind the eyes.

Is this the gold ngroni? It's the gold nagroney. I love it. Oh, I love it. It's just what you wanted. Okay, my turn. Is that a crimbas mirror? Can I try a sip?

Yeah. Well, hold on. How is it? How is it? It's good. Yeah? I mean, I obviously, I was trying to figure out, I'm like, it tastes like gin, but or is that a syrup that's in it?

Like, Oh, that tastes like a good Nogroni. Yeah. Oh, that's good, baby. Yeah. Because I was like, it tastes like gin. That's lovely. But.

Yeah, you don't know if it's like gin flavor. Yeah, yeah. Or like, because like even in your Oregon old fashion, it's like Philbert and fur needle bitters. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Whatever the fuck that is. Right. Is that that? Right.

No, you nailed it. First try. All right. Aaron is currently putting together my little cocktail, which I don't know what it is. Okay, so thank you, honey. Aaron has just served me a glass with big ice cubes, like the kind that you need molds for, or if you're fancy, not like us, if you have like a $5,000 fridge that can squirt out giant ice cubes, like cocktail ice cubes.

So it's, the color is light brown, and the fact that you asked for these ice cubes, it's kind of given old fashioned. And what was the kind of old fashion? Was it just Oregon old fashioned? My eyes are telling me it's an old fashion. Kind of fucking smells like an old fashion. Let's take a sip. Oh my God.

That's a fucking old fashion. Wait, can I taste it? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Am I right? Yeah. Let's go. Isn't that funny that you picked mine and I picture?

And those are the exact ones. Those are like the first ones we wished for. I think the first thing I said was I love an old fashion. Yeah. Oh, man. Oh, that'll do you dirty. There's a,

there's a bar that we sometimes go to that just makes meanest, tastiest old fashions. And I always, I always get fucking hung over. Like I don't, I don't get drunk. but I wake up with a fucking sugar hangover. I love old fashions though.

The taste, it's so sweet. They did say to garnish, but we don't have garnish. I said with like an orange or a lemon. Absolutely not. No, I'm not a fucking bar. With a twist. They love the, no, no, that's a, no. I'm not that like fancy and savvy as a bartender to have like orange twists at the ready,

you know, when we're entertaining guests. This is awesome, honey. I would say that. This is a great little thing. The fact that I picked your, to be fair, when I first picked it, I was like, no, I don't want this. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then you were like, is that mine?

And I was like, it is now. Right, right, right. Hey, that's whatever. And then you picked what I wanted. A gold and groaning. I feel like the vibes are, I feel like we're vibing. What a lovely start to the night. I feel like we're vibed in.

Hey, happy December. Especially because it was, we had a one out of 12 chance. Yeah, yeah, we did. Or you know what I mean. Like I had one out 12. Uh-huh. And then you had one out of 11. Whatever.

Somebody that's smarter than me, do that math. You know, I'll tell you, I'll tell you the math right now of like the different, the different, the number of combinations of like, you know, if you start with the Nogroni and then I have the old fashion and then go down the list, the number of different combinations is equal to 12 factorial. Shut up, Jack. Oh my God. Do you know factorial?

Is that with the exclamation point? Yeah. Stop. Do you know what that means? It means one times two times three times four times five, ten six, six. Yes. And that's the number of. possible combos or like, yeah.

Nobody likes you. Nobody likes you. I like numbers. I don't even like math. I just like numbers. Jesus. All right. All right.

I was going to say something. What kind of hot goss did you learn on the hotline this week? I got a few things actually. Okay. You ready for this? You all ready for this? So, oh shit, is that right? Hold on.

This is bizarre. Aaron, you're not going to believe this. I barely do. Probably not. Do you recall in our last episode, because we started with the quiz, and we're going to finish it tonight, just FYI, we started with the Bible. Like, is this a Bible verse or a power metal lyric, song lyric, right? Yes. And at some point in the quiz, you turn on ADHD mode and you're like, why is it that so many hotels have.

The Book of Mormon. The Book of Mormon and or the Bible. I stayed at a hotel for one night this week. I'm staying in a hotel for two nights next week. I stay in a hotel almost every week. I think you stay at a hotel far more frequently than the average show, Shmo. Yes. You travel a lot for work.

I do. And you commented last week and you still agree that you often find books of Mormon. What's the plural, right? Yeah, books of Mormon. Right. More so than Bibles in hotel rooms? Correct. Okay.

Often replacing Bible or you'll find both? Sometimes they have both. Okay. But there has been a trend I've noticed. And I didn't check in this week's hotel, but I will check. So I was in San Diego this week. And what's interesting is that there are a lot of Mormon population in the Southwest. and just west in general.

Whereas I don't necessarily know that there's that big of a population of Mormon people in the east. I just, I didn't grow up around it, so I don't know. But next week I'll be in the southeast United States, so I will report back. I eagerly anticipate your findings. And I will be kind of in the Bible Belt of sorts. Right. Sure. Speaking up.

Yes. But this is definitely like a recent, recent-ish thing that I only say. that I only started noticing like when my travel picked up after COVID. I see. I don't recall seeing many books of Mormon in hotel rooms pre-COVID. Okay. Yeah. So in the last three years or so, four or three years, right?

Yeah. When travel became more normal after COVID. Yeah. I stayed in a, I mean, I've stayed in numerous hotels in the southwest, specifically, that did not have a Bible in the room at all, just a book of Mormon. Like northwest or just west in general? Just west in general. Anywhere from Seattle to Denver to Arizona to California,

draw whatever those coordinates are. There's no Bible in the room at all, just the Book of Mormon. But I thought I don't know. I thought the Book of Mormon accompanied the Bible. Isn't it the third book? Like it's supposed to be Old Testament, New Testament, Book of Mormon? Did I get that wrong? I don't know.

No, no, that's it. I'm uncertain. I'm not going to flat out say no, that's wrong. like I don't know. But here's, here's why I bring that up in the first place, right? So you,

oh no, we lost there. Sorry, I'm like trying, I'm like testing my memory. I was like, somebody was gazing off. I got the thousand yards stare from her.

Just white noise. Somebody. In her head. Somebody, I like, guys, do not trust anything I say, ever.

Never do, baby. I feel like somebody at one point told me that. And I, that's the third, like technically the third book, like according to Mormons. Yes, I guess.

Right. If that's how you want to phrase it. That is actually. I would be horrible at a deposition. If that's how you want to phrase it. I, say that if that's how you want to phrase it. That's really funny.

Oh my God. Let me look it up if it's on the wiki. That it's like the third book of the Bible. Yes. According to its believers. Yes. Sure. So there's typically.

So Christians believe in an old and New Testament, right? Allegedly. And I think is it the religion of Judaism that only believes in the Old Testament? Is that correct or not? Judaism. Judaism. Yeah, but they also have a Torah. But I don't know.

I think the Torah is different than the Old Testament, I think. But they don't believe in the New Testament. I don't think so. Right. So, and Mormons. Somebody out there is fucking pounding their fists at us right now. I know. I know. I'm so, we're like, you're a disappointment.

Yeah, you're right. I am a disappointment. It's your mother. But don't worry, I'm disappointed in myself too. So we have that in common. At least we can shake hands on that. Okay, so it says that the, the, uh, there's the trademark, Aaron, the, uh, we got one of those.

We're going to get a few more tonight. The, uh, the, uh, sorry. It's, it's a tick and I love it. I love it. It's a placeholder. A lot of people say, um, you say the, uh, it's awesome. Because I can always pick up, like, I can pretend I was in the middle of saying something. You're great at not saying, uh, because you learned that.

That's not true. I feel like I say, uh, quite a bit. But you've taken, like, workshops in your line of work on how not to say, uh, in presentations, no? Well, didn't I, didn't I share my, like, that's like the best hack I've ever learned. And it's eye contact. It's fucking crazy. As long as you're looking at somebody. You will not say a.

Listeners, try it. Look at, if you literally just start talking to somebody. Are cognizant of all the times you say, uh, in conversation. The second you look away, an uh will come out of your mouth. But look at them. It's so wild. Get lost in their beautiful, dark eyes. Yeah.

And if you're looking at like a group of people, you don't have to be weird and just stare at one person. You can kind of glance around the room. But if you are weird and stare at one person, you'll also not say a. That's right. Laser focused. I used to know somebody who literally kept a picture of, somebody just like a smiling face while they took phone calls because they didn't want to say uh and they would just make eye contact with the picture on the wall that's so smart yeah it was i don't know

it's it is really like a life hack but that actually sounds like a really good life hack it's really crazy yeah okay hold on uh something something history uh yeah she me her story and then then they oh shit damn the book of warm has a number of doctrinal discussions on subjects such as the fall of Adam and Eve. What do you think they did? Do you think they robbed a 7-Eleven or something? Well, the fall of Adam, like the fall of Adam and Eve is just them getting ejected from the Garden of Eden, no? Is that not in the Bible? Yeah. I never finished that story. Aaron, that's the first story. Wait, then how do they raise their children?

Not in the Garden of Eden, I'll tell you that. Well, there's snakes there. So, Who would want to live there anyway? Okay. Eve was like, Jod, you want us to raise our kids here with all these snakes wriggling around?

No thanks. And God did not take kindly to that. He's like, whoa, ungrateful. Okay, it doesn't actually... There's too much on Wiki, okay? I can't get like a fast answer.

But somebody at one point in my life at some point in time, I could have sworn they said it was the third book. Honestly, listeners call in And guess what? We're going to get answers regardless because, Aaron, listen to this. What?

In response to your whole thing that you brought up in last week's episode about like, I'm seeing more books of Mormon in my hotel rooms. Why is that? Yeah. We had not one, but two ex-Mormans text in our hotline, Dad Hug Me 10, two separate ex-Mormans opening up with like, hey, ex-Mormon here, and give us explanations on why that is. So here's the first one.

It's really funny. What's funny about that? I just love that we have two ex-Mormon, at least, at the very least, we have two listeners that are ex-Mormons chiming in. We have some that are still in the church too. Yeah. And we're not, this is not a knock against Mormons. No, not at all.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I just, like, we're just getting through the day, people. I just kind of love it, though. I love that we have two people. They, different, like, different phone numbers, different people, different parties, literally opening with, hey, ex-Morman here, let me help you out. So, okay. First one.

Maybe they can tell us if it's a third book or not. I, maybe. Hi, guys, ex-Mormon here to follow up on the hotel book of Mormon question. The Marriott family, who owns the Marriott hotels. Okay, it's Marriott. Oh, it's Marriott. Oh, I always say Marriott. Everybody says Marriott.

That's the joke. The fact that they're trying to say it's Marriott is like, shut up. Wait, is that like a gift-jiff thing where like the- The Marriott family. They say it's pronounced Marriott. They say it's pronounced Marriott. It is Marriott. It's Marriott or get the fuck out.

Just like how the inventor of GIF is like, it's Jif and it's like no. They're going to call it a Jif. It's a GIF. Also, how about instead of you trying to change everybody from saying Marriott to Marriott, you just change how you pronounce your last name. It's called leaning in, Erin. Okay, lean in. Lead in.

You Marriott, fucks, just lean in. It's a Giff and a Marriott. This rules. Okay. The Marriott family who owns the Marriott hotels is a Mormon family. Oh, wait. Which, well, no, you wait, Aaron. Which means that every room in a Marriott hotel has both the Bible and Book of Mormon.

The church has had a steady decline since COVID. But there are no official reports, not from the Mormon church. My brother-in-law works for the religion department at Pugh. research center. Oh, Pew, yeah, Pew Research. They're like... What's that? What's PEW research? It's Pew.

Yeah. And they're like one of the most highly regarded, like, third party, like, they do a lot of the, like, polling surveys and stuff like that. Yeah. Oh, I've heard it. Okay. That sounds familiar. Hold on. Ew.

I typed in Pew Research. Yeah. Do you know what showed up? No. PewDie Pie. Oh, Pew Research Mormon. Why are they listening? It's listening.

That's so annoying. They're always listening. Listeners, you ever had that experience where, like, you're Googling something and it fills it out? Like, literally, it's in real time. It's in real fucking time.

The mics are always on. There are a non-partisan, non-advocacy fact tank that informs the public about the issues, attitudes, and trends shaping the world. But they're like. I may have watched a John Oliver video about this. They're like legit. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Like, yeah. Okay. So my, this is the same texture in the dad Hug Me 10 hotline. My brother-in-law works for the religion department at Pew Research Center, and they've always faced the problem. The church can overinflate membership records. For example, because just because they can. For example, I have not been to church in years, but I still have records of membership within the church that I have not formally removed. That process is insanely hard, and the church is really cracking down, so it's more difficult to remove records.

So the church would still count me as an active member. Hmm. Anyways, over explaining over, I find it all extremely interesting. My family has been Mormon since Joseph Smith founded the church. Fuck. So that's a long fucking time. Wow. Okay.

If you want anyone... It's like almost 150 years plus, yeah. If you want any more unsolicited and over-explained rants about the Mormon church, let me know. We absolutely do. But so that's there. Okay. First off, did you know that the Marriott? family's a Mormon family?

I did not. No, nor did I. If that's true. What I do know is that... What I do know is that... What do you know, Aaron? You know nothing, Aaron. This is so, guys,

this is so like just my perception, not based on fact whatsoever. So vibes, just like Christmas. It's all off vibes. I tend to... Of the influencers that I used to follow, and not that I don't

them anymore, just I'm never on Instagram. But like I decorated and designed quote unquote our whole house off of this like based off of this family and big influencing like I don't it's not a girl, it's a girl in her whole family or woman in her whole family. Chris loves Julia. And I loved their aesthetic and pretty much like just tried to mimic everything that they did. I'm not sure I knew this. Our house is based off. Of Chris loves Julia. Yeah, we have the same chairs that they have. What the fuck?

I did not know that. Yeah. But like, I mean, I haven't kept up with them forever because like. But you, wild. But you just liked, it was like a Tumblr post. You just like their aesthetic. I love their aesthetic. I love their.

Are they, I'm sorry, Aaron, are they YouTubers, TikTokers? They're all of it now. But I found them on Instagram. God. Oh, I'm sorry. She also, she. Like reels or posts? Posts.

Okay. This was, I stopped Instagram. like before reels became a thing. I don't fucking touch it. Yeah. I only go on Instagram when somebody sends me something to look at or like, like, yeah. Yeah. And then I'm on it and I'm off.

Like anyway. So I haven't kept up with her in years. But like there is like an element where I feel like I don't know how to describe it. But like she and her family are Mormon. And then there were like a number of other Mormon influencers that I followed that like they just have a tendency. of perfectionism to a degree that I aspired to. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Because I am a sloppy, messy, disgusting, dirty bitch. Whereas they have their shit together. They have their shit all together. And what, like, that's, that is enviable. Yes. Is that the word? It's enviable. Yeah. So. Admirable and enviable.

Anyway, that's my, like, perception of, and that's obviously influencer, highlight reel, blah, blah, blah. But I do get the sense that, like, I'm like, oh, you're Mormon, you're better than me. You're doing their like discipline and their aesthetic, interesting. Yeah. Because it's worth noting that like the message, the text I just read from a wonderful listener who texted in in our hotline, Downhug Me 10, they're an ex-Mormon, but their family has been Mormon since Joseph Smith founded the church.

As you said, what, 150-ish years ago? I don't know. I just remember seeing the Book of Mormon play and his 1800s. Long story short, Aaron. and listeners and viewers. We have a second text. From an ex-Morman. From another ex-Morman.

Okay. Which I just love. I just love the improbability. And again, I do want to just reiterate. Like, there have been a number of people that have come up to us. Like, we met a guy. We had just landed in Peete or Tahiti. And there was...

Wait, say that again? Papeete. I think that's how you pronounce it. I don't know. This is very hesitant. Tahiti. Yeah, Papeete. in Tahiti at the airport.

And we met a guy that was with his family. His family was picking him up from Tahiti. He had just wrapped up his mission. He's for the last two years in Tahiti, sharing the word of the Lord, the Book of Mormon, whatever. And he was a Jack's films fan. So like I just want to reiterate,

like, guys, we are, this is a discussion of neutrality, not anything. Do I or we, attract Mormon No people hate you Jack No people hate you You know what I mean It's interesting

I feel like it's worth a to date I don't know what it means I don't I don't know I don't know I'm an ex-Catholic You know I was raised Would you say you're an X? Yeah I would Yeah

What makes one an X? What do you have to do to X? Nothing officially It's not like I One day I went to the Catholic church And I handed in my letter of resignation Well how about this how about this Yeah

I would not consider myself an ex. I'm not, I don't practice. You're not a practicing Catholic. In the sense that like, I do say my prayers when I'm on an airplane. But like, wait, is that every flight? Almost. No shit, Aaron. Unless I fall asleep before it takes off. But yeah. Wait, that's endearing. I didn't know that. That's really cute. But what's funny is that my brother. Yeah. And his wife wanted us to be godparents or me to be a godparent. Was it us? I can't remember. No, I think it was just me. I was going to be a godmother.

Rude. Their Catholic Church would not allow me... Oh, I remember this. To be a godmother. That's right. Without a letter of recommendation from a parish... Oh, my gosh. That I attend.

And I go, even when I did attend church, nobody fucking knew I was there. Right. Like, what? Where would said a letter even comes from? And like, there were all these different, like, things I needed to prove. And I was like, No. So I wouldn't call myself an X,

but apparently the Catholic Church, even though beggars being choosers, uh, apparently they want me to be an ex-Cathlet. Can I say faith should not require proof? That's the whole point of faith. Oh, that's deep.

We should have gaslit them so hard with that. Honestly. That's, I should have just written the letter myself. And listeners, I'm not a religious person. Just so you know, I'm just saying,

I'm just saying faith should not require proof. Yes. I should have just written the letter myself. Isn't that the whole point of faith? You just believe. It's vibes. It's just like Christmas. It's not vibes. I worry about you calling into question my faith. Exactly. And that of a fellow Catholic. Yeah. So apparently, I don't know, I guess I got kicked out of the church because I... No, you didn't get like excommunicated. That's not that. But like they wouldn't let me stand. Like I am a godmother in vibes only. Like she had a

her friend stand in for me as godmother during the baptism i'm just one yeah should we call you ex-catholic i think the church would it's kind of badass right it's a good label i don't know i think i think it's kind of rude honestly i think it's rude i was insulted i was insulted yes i mean especially after all the money my dad was really pissed because he's like are you kidding me like i donate all this money to not all this money but you know over the years you're kidding me yeah Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Sorry, that's how my dad talks. But, like, literally, that's like, he was pissed. Oh, damn.

Pissed at you or pissed at the church? No, at the church. He was mad. He goes to church every Sunday. So he has not yet been excommunicated from the church. That's good. No, but he was mad. He was like, are you kidding me? Like, these are my children. They're not like bad people. No, it's worth getting mad about. No, for sure. That's absolutely worth getting mad about. They're not bad people. Right. Like, how dare you? Yeah. Yeah. Well, anyway, okay, second text. from the ex-Morman. Exactly, regarding your Bible questions and Book of Mormon questions. And by the way, both of these were sent on the same day. Today, actually.

Hmm. This is a few hours ago. No, an hour ago. Wait, we could text them back. We could get answers. Actually, we could. I'm an ex-Mormon, and I'm here to give some insight on Book of Mormons in hotels. Okay, so they say Book of Mormons.

We say Books of Mormon. Book, yeah. To answer Aaron's question, the Mormon church is not growing. In fact, there is a crisis within the church because a lot of young people are leaving probably due to the internet. Well, also... No, no more interruptions. Remind me to talk about tithing. I will.

And the cost of living crisis and capitalism and trickle-down economics not working. And then... It all just trickles down. So, anyway, continue. Oh, thank you for your... permission to continue, ma'am. Despite this, they're building more temples than ever. Interesting.

I assume this is to make the church appear to be growing. It's also a real estate investment because, fun fact, they're one of the largest private landowners in the U.S. Isn't Scientology as well? Or is that the Catholic Church? I don't know. One of them is. I have no idea.

One of them is, and that's how they like, but because they're a religious organization, they don't get taxed on it, and it's like a whole thing. Yeah. Got it, got it. But yeah, like, I think like Scientology, like, owns the whole city of like Clearwater, Florida or something. Yeah. They continue. Anyways, all this is to say that it actually makes sense to me that there are more Book of Mormons in hotels,

both because recruitment efforts are probably getting more intense and they want people to think they're growing in membership. And to answer the question of who supplies the Book of Mormon. Marriott was founded by a Mormon. So the hotels themselves do it. Interesting. My dad was a local leader in the church and my entire family has now left.

Wow. I'd love to talk to you guys about it sometime if it sounds interesting to you. And text. Holy shit. I love that both parties, unrelated ex-Mormons, both commented on how the Marriott family has some involvement in the Mormon church. Not to be weird, but don't you think it's a bigger deal for like grownups?

Like, what do you mean? Like that, the fact that his or her father or their, whatever, their father, yeah. Was a leader in the church. And the whole family is now left. Oh, sure, sure, sure. Like, that's a big deal. Yeah, that's fair.

That is a big deal. deal. That was like me leaving my old job. Subscribe to Patreon if you want to hear that story. Oh my gosh. Subscribe to Patreon for that. Like there's, is it a trilogy or duology? I think it's, I think there are two episodes, but they're long. Yeah, we have bonus episodes on our Patreon where Aaron goes nuts. No, I just go into nuts. Detail as to why, how I arrived at the decision that I needed to leave. Yeah. There was an

HR situation. Yeah. The second half is fucking ridiculous. A lot of people in the comments were like, what the fuck? Yeah. Yeah. But yeah, I would love to hear more from ex-Mormons. This is fascinating to me. Are you? Like, you would?

Yeah. Fuck yeah. My big thing is that, so there is, and again, I'm not up to speed, but we used to be years ago friendly with a woman in the church. And I would ask her questions about the tithing process because you're supposed to, at least as I was told, you were supposed to basically contribute 10% of your income to the church. Wow. And I was like, well, how can they prove that you do that?

Like, what's, and she basically had said like, well, like on a quarterly basis or something, you sit down with the bishop and the bishop asked like, have you completed your tithing or your tithes? Have you paid your tithes? And you're like, yes, bishop. Yes, bishop. So, I don't know. I don't like that at all.

People do not make as much money as they did 30 years ago. Correct. As far as people in their 20s and 30s. Oh my God. And people cannot afford any longer to be able to hand over 10%. I am generalizing here, but bear with me. No, I think a lot of people, in myself included, would feel financially uncomfortable. if I had to hand over 10% of my money,

and that's, I'm assuming post-tax money, every year. That's an incredible contribution. Yes. But anyway, I can't help but think that also might be playing into a decreasing population of sorts. Because it's getting expensive out here. Oh, my God. Don't remind me.

So spend your money hanging out with me on Patreon. Thank you for bringing it back to where it really. really matters. Yeah. Yeah. Capitalism, baby. Okay. All right.

Aaron is the funny one. Are you ready? I am ready. Last, where we left off on our classic trademark bespoke, bespoke quizzes. Biskweakal. Baskweequel. The quiz that we are going to continue tonight is the following listeners and viewers and wife.

Is the following passage a Bible verse or a lyric from. a power metal song because they are oddly similar. Are you ready, honey? Yes. We did the first five questions last week. So if you're unfamiliar, if you're like, Ermi, squeeze me sauce, check out last week's episode where we cover the first five questions of this quiz. We're going to resume right now. Here we go. Question six. Okay. So listeners and Aaron, is this following passage from a Bible verse or from a lyric from a power metal song. And by the way, we never, for those wondering power metal, no, we never got into or discovered or found out

what differentiates power metal from regular metal, death metal, all the other metals. Excuse me. Disgusting. I'm so sorry. But here we go. Question six. Send all misgivings to heaven and unveil all the beasts in your head.

Bible. Bible Bible Bible Bible Bible Bible Bible Bible Bible Bible it's Job and he kills his family and he and he has to unveil all the beasts in his head with just killing his family this screams that's so funny you mentioned that this screams song to song lyric to me no this sounds like a song misgivings what the fuck is a miss giving send all misgivings to heaven and unveil all the pees that onling sign you're singing too. In your head. Bible, Bible, Bible, Bible. I can imagine. I can imagine. I can imagine.

What can you imagine? You imagine going. Hallelujah. And there's that Catholicism leaking out again. It's hard to beat out that Catholicism. It's ingrained in your DNA once you've been to enough Sunday services. I'm going to say, I think you're wrong. send all misgivings to heaven

and unveil all the beasts in your head that just sounds hard as hell it sounds like a metal lyric like, and unveil the beast in your like unveil the beast in your head that fucking rules that's like I don't know who I don't know what power metal is or means

but like that's not in the Bible that's too cool to be in the Bible and it is a power metal lyric correct answer is not in the Bible it is a power metal lyric from the band the artist Power Wolf and their song The Sacrament of Sin, which sounds very biblical. Maybe metal is, or what is it?

Power metal. Power metal, the power of God. Like, this feels like tainted, like religious music. Don't talk about change. Jack texted me the other day. He's like, I just got on an Uber and they're playing Christian rock with Chris Brown. And I was like, what the fuck? Let me. My favorite Christian,

Chris Brown? He, I mean, we do love to beat our women. Jesus Christ. So. Yeah, let me, I'm trying to find like the exact text I sent you. But then he, then he came home with his tail between his legs and he goes, I found out there are two Chris Browns. Oh yeah. No, no. So I texted you on Sunday. I said on the day of our Lord Sunday. On the day of Lord. I said worship music playing right now in the Uber. Because like I knew it was worship music because A, it sounded like that. And B, on the dash. board because you know in ubers you're sitting in the back but i could see in the dash whatever we were listening to was classified as worship music you know what i mean yeah um and it and it did say featuring chris brown and my ignorant ass thought like when i when you hear chris brown you think of one chris brown there's only one chris brown right and he has an affliction towards beating women it's a disease poor guy no so like And I thought that was very, because I have to shazam it. Like, I'm listening to whatever we're listening, or I shazam whatever we're listening to.

And I screencap it and send it to you. It's called Trusting God. And then in parentheses, featuring Chris Brown. So naturally, I'm like, what the fuck is Chris Brown doing in this shit? Yeah. And it's, there's another subcategory called elevation worship. I don't know if that's the band, the artist, or just the genre. It doesn't matter.

Anyways, I was having a giggle fit in this Uber because I'm like, Chris Brown's on some fucking worship song. And it's a different Chris Brown. It's not the same Chris Brown listeners. Damn. I know. Question seven. Why don't you take this one? His eyes were like a flame of fire.

And on his head were many crowns. Many crowns. He had a name written that no one knew except himself. Bible. Bible. Bible. Bible. Why do you think it's Bible?

Because you were wrong in the last one. Shut up. He had a name written that no one knew except himself. That sounds kind of metal. That feels Godlike. Really? It was the first half. The second half threw me off.

The second half was like, oh, I could see that in the song. It was the first half. His eyes were like a flame of fire and on his head were many crowns. First off like, yeah, on his head were many crowns just sounds biblical as fuck. Like in the Bible, Jesus wore a crown of thorns, blah, blah, blah. And the answer, wait. Wait, what are... We're both wrong.

Wait, what did we say? We said Bible. We're both right. How fucking drunk are you? It was a good old fashion. Oh, my God. So we're both right. The answer is, it is indeed a Bible verse.

Revelations 1912. His eye... Yeah, but we just said it. What we just said? What we just said? Okay. Let me say this next one. Question eight.

Question eight. Don't imagine that I came to bring peace to the earth. I came not to bring peace. Peace, but a sword. Bible. Bible. It sounds like an archangel or someone. The exclamation point gives it away.

And where's the exclamation point, Aaron, for those who can't see? Don't imagine that I came to bring peace to the earth. Exclamation point. Right. Why does that, hold on, before you scroll in and spoil. That's some God shit. God, God is always yelling. Is Old Testament God always yelling?

He's like, God. He loves to yell. He loves himself an exclamation point. kind of a jerk in the old testament. He's like Donald Trump. He loves his exclamation points. I'm like holding my face right now because that was a revelation. Open up your.

No, Jack, that was the book in the Bible. Hey, yo. Thank you. Open up your Bible. See how many paragraphs are written in all caps. Okay. Oh, woe is to ye, okay? I came not to bring peace, okay?

But a sword. Right? And it's a big sword. We love that sword. It's a big sword. It's the sharpest sword. It's the sharpest sword ever. It's the biggest sword.

Oh, no. So wait. Nobody can lift it except for me. I'm the only one that can lift it. Oh, no. Oh, no. Is this why MAGA works? Maybe.

Oh, no. I don't really know how it works. Oh, no. I don't know. Oh, hold on. We both agree Bible. Bible. Okay.

Go for it. Bible. Matthew 1034. That's right. Matthew 1034. So Matthew 10. So Matthew likes yelling too. I guess. I don't know.

Don't imagine that I came to bring peace. Okay, next up. Next up. Oh no, I ruined it. You did, but let our listeners guess. Here, I'll read this one since you're so, you know, trigger happy. Guys, is this a metal lyric or Bible verse? Why can't you see what has happened to thee?

Can you not open your eyes? No, they have leprosy. They can't open their eyes. That's so rude. Wow. I thought Jesus was supposed to. cure the blind and stuff too. I mean, he did in the New Testament.

That's really condescending. That's like really condescending. This could be pre-Jesus. We don't know. So hold on. Why? Do you think old testament God literally removed their eyes and then go no, why can't you open your eyes? Try opening your eyes.

Why are you slapping yourself? Why are you slapping yourself? Right. Like got your nose. Got your nose. End of a dick move. If that's true. Stop hitting yourself. Stop hitting yourself. but like eight octaves lower and it echoes everywhere, but it's still just a juvenile. I heard it was a lattice Morissette.

That's true in dogma. Look, listeners, we're going to give you the answer. So that one more time, the passage, is it a Bible verse or a power metal lyric? Why can't you see what has happened to thee? Can you not open your eyes? And we, I feel like this shouldn't count because we both spoiled it. It's a power metal lyric from Dragon Force.

favorite band of the writer of this quiz about the dork from the song black winter's night black winter's night erin i'm going to do this last one and because you spoiled that last one you fucking spoil sport okay don't i'm going to do it line by line okay listeners viewers and aaron is the funny one here is your next passage is this final question i think so the quiz is this a bible verse or a power metal lyric and we'll never know what that means. I hear a whisper inside, a hunger devouring me. I beseech you my heart to be free. I hear a whisper inside, a hunger devouring me. I beseech you my heart to be free. Song. I think it's a song too. A hunger devouring me doesn't sound very Bible-like. This sounds poetic in a sense that only songs can be. God doesn't want your heart to be free. He's not setting any butterflies out. He

wants to keep you in a cage forever. Your heart belongs to me. Yes. Yes. Wow. I was spoken like two true ex-Catholics, am I right? Am I right? Damn.

All right, ready? And it is a power metal lyric. It's from the artist Brothers of Metal and their song. Weaver of Fate. No kidding. Yay. That was a fun quiz. Thank you, Beth Adore.

Great job on that quiz. That was a very good quiz. That was a lot of fun. It sent us in a lot of different directions. Sorry about that, but also not sorry about that. I will never apologize for going on rants and tangents. And I have a curious mind. I just,

I can't, I can't be. We have a second podcast called Ransentangents. It's only, it's on kick.com. That'd be fun. Do you want to do rants and tansin? No,

it's mostly you guys just like listening to, let me tell you about my day. Honestly, to the point where you forget what you were talking about in the first place. Yeah. As is often the case. What are we talking about? Don't remember.

Oh, well. Aaron, we're still Sagittarius season. Give me your clammy hands. They are clammy. I know. Give me them. I'm warm. You turn the air off and you've had me drinking alcohol.

Honey, I'm married into these clammy hands. We have a job to do, all right? Channel the spirits. Sagittarius. Hello. My. Wonderfully competent. Servants.

I wish that you. smelled better such pity anyway Tuesday you may encounter three empty ubers they don't hurt you so get in your journey begins when you arrive at your destination make Good decisions. Nice. No, nice is not my word. Show the fuck up. Make nice decisions.

Remember. Take your birth. Chart. Control. But also chart. That works. Follow. Follow.

The. Crums. Also. Tell. No. One. that we've discussed anything keep alert finally they can see you and smell you so where nothing say P-U the stars will guide guide your your path

Pretty cool. Yay, the end. Listeners, thus concludes this week's episode of Aaron is the something, something who cares. Tune in next week

for a new episode. Also, tune in to our Patreon at patreon.com slash jacks for an even longer version of this, plus a couple of bonus episodes that no one else has access to. You get more of me.

Sorry, but if you're already tuning in, that's kind of what you signed up for. So you might as well. I'll just get more of it. More of you? See, I said um. I told you I said, um.

You weren't looking to me in the eyes. No, I wasn't. I looked away. That's true. That's on you, baby. Just to also be clear, we will be taking the last two weeks of December off because of the Christmas season and a holiday season as a whole.

And Jack Film and I will be out of pocket, so to speak. So we will be taking two weeks off and just want to let you guys know that in advance. Otherwise, we will be here. next week with you all and can't wait. Talk to you then. Until next time, haters.