Escaping the Drift with John Gafford - #90: Cole Hatter: Navigating Life's Twists and Turns

Episode Date: November 14, 2023

Prepare to be inspired as we delve into the incredible journey of our guest, Cole Hatter. A man of resilience and fortitude, Cole's life has been shaped by both adversities and triumphs. From the profound impact of his parents' realtionship to the life-altering accident that derailed his career, Cole’s unique experiences lay a robust groundwork for a stirring conversation. Throughout the episode, we navigate the twisting roads of Cole’s life, from the aftermath of his car accident to the moment he used his real estate knowledge to build an orphanage in Mexico. His resilience and mindset are things to marvel at as we unpack the common denominator that many successful people share: adversity and the ability to overcome it. We also highlight the significance of a purpose-driven business, the power of a positive mindset, and the importance of giving back.Our conversation transcends the ordinary as we delve into the importance of clear goals, the role of adversity in success, and the profound influence of Cole’s car accident. We uncover the essence of his entrepreneurial spirit, his journey from firefighting to real estate, and his dedication to philanthropy.This episode is a cornucopia of insightful discussions, inspiring stories, and valuable life lessons that you won't want to miss. So, get ready to be motivated, educated, and above all, inspired. Highlights:"Integrity is keeping promises to yourself... it creates a muscle that is hard to wear down.”"Entrepreneurs are thirsty for connecting their business to more meaning than just income generation.”“I keep mementos of failures... to remind me of the lessons learned.”Timestamps:(0:05:41) - Cole Hatter(0:14:18) - The Impact of Adversity on Success(0:21:55) - Clarity, Goals, and Overcoming Tragedy(0:30:53) - The Trickle-Down Effect of Positivity(0:34:15) - Relationships (0:38:26) - The Power of for-Purpose Business(0:46:08) - Land Entitlement Deals(0:54:02) - Lessons Learned

Everything in life is the same way. Most people aren't willing to do what they want because they're not very clear about what they want. And now, Escaping the Drift, the show designed to get you from where you are to where you want to be. I'm John Gafford, and I have a knack for getting extraordinary achievers

to drop their secrets to help you on a path to greatness so stop drifting along escape the drift and it's time to start right now back again got a good one for you these guys got a great one for you this week guys great one i gotta tell you this is a guy in the studio with us today that is really i was thinking about it this morning and this is a cat that was kind of, I'll call him like if you were building a pyramid, right? He was level two to so many of my relationships. Cause like I got the relationship from, from Steve Sims, who's a friend of the show. And then that's where I got this relationship. And then he literally so many relationships that I have are because of this guy. This is a guy that founded probably one

of the best events that I've ever been to, which is thrive, make money matter. It's a, it's an entrepreneurial event designed to help you build for purpose business, not just make it about more about the money. He is a guy that has started his own podcast, has a book coming out soon as a renowned real estate investor. Uh, I mean, it's just, the list goes on and on and on. Ladies and gentlemen, this is Cole Hatter. What's up, bro. Thanks for having me on. Yeah, man. Of course. We've been talking about doing this, so I'm glad it finally worked. Yeah. It's, it's been, it's been a while in the making and, uh, and dude, you know, so this show, just so you know, uh, cause I'm sure you listened

to every episode religiously. That's what I listen to first thing in the morning. First thing in the morning is me. Before I even say good morning to my wife, I got you in my ears. That's it. Yeah. But so as you know, then we'll go with the point of the show really is to help people that may be struggling where they are.

They can't see the next level. They can't get there because I love to take really successful people and humanize them and say, listen, man, it ain't always peaches and cream. It's not always leaning against the Lambo on social media, right? It's blood, sweat, and tears. And I like to get to that story. And I always like to start with the first place because much like you have kids, I have kids and I struggle every day with the fact of my, am I, am I raising them to be worthwhile human beings or are we giving them too much? And they're going to be worthless. Of course I struggle with that.

Right. So obviously, you know, somebody that operates at a high level like you, what was it like to be young Cole Hatter? What let, like what made Cole, Cole growing up? So got to give a shout out to my parents who are still faithfully and passionately married and in love 51 years into their journey. And so I had a really, really powerful upbringing. I think that for those that are listening that are in relationships or married right now, fighting for your marriage and making it work is not just obviously what you set out to do. Everyone who gets married on their wedding day doesn't say, Hey, this is going to be a temporary thing. Everyone says till death do us part. Right. But if you actually mean that and stick with it, it can impact your kids in profound ways. So I give a large amount of who I became to the stability I had at home. Uh, shout out to,

again, my mom and dad for not just staying married, but they, they gave me a great example of what love and, and, uh, a great upbringing in orange County, California. Uh, we were middle-class, we were not wealthy. My parents didn't drive BMWs or Mercedes. It was, uh, at sometimes sharing a car and it would usually be a beat up van or truck. Right. But, uh, I never went without my dad would, he was in construction. My mom was a social worker. So you guys can kind of figure out what that income looks like a construction working dad and a social worker mom, maybe together, they were bringing an 80 to a hundred grand maybe. Uh, but again, we never went without and, and they just loved the crap out of me. Uh, and I think that that's a part of, again, in my upbringing, that was,

that was helpful was that stability at home. Um, I don't have abuse or any of that. My, my story gets kind of crazy at 21 when I got in my car accident. So we can talk about that if you want. Um, but for those first 21 years, uh, my parents just poured into me and it, and it really helped create my value system, which is the man I became today. And they gave me the best opportunities to succeed.

And so again, that is a little bit unique, sadly, the, the upbringing that I have. And so let this be encouragement to those that are listening to fight for your relationships, because again, I've, I've gone on to do some cool things in the world, largely because of the platform I was raised on. You know, I find that so interesting gone on to do some cool things in the world, largely because of the platform I was raised on. You know, I find that so interesting that the very first thing you go to is the stability of your parents' marriage, which in itself shows a high level of commitment. Cause every day is not, you know, Halloween and every morning is not Christmas. You got to work at that, man. So I just find it so interesting that of all the things that you could have gone for, you went right for that commitment level. Do you think that that permeates off a hundred percent. And, um, again, they weren't

just married, like they love each other. Right. And so it creates, I think the dynamic that young children need to thrive, to, to see mom and dad still together in the house, which is again, so rare in today's marriage world, you have over a 50% chance now of divorce in this country. Super sad. And so again, not that this is a marriage show, but I've, I have been asked similar questions like Cole, you've, you've grown up to do some cool things. Where did it start and how did it start? And I just, I always give a shout out and credit to my parents. Always right back to that.

Yeah. So with great parents like that and a good childhood, obviously, you know, you see so many people speak and it's like this terrible story. This origin story. That's just terrible. David and it's like this terrible story. This origin story is just terrible. David Goggins, just horrible origin story. And without that, did you have a period where of your life when you were younger, where you were kind of drifting, where you didn't didn't have direction, didn't have an idea of who you wanted to be? Sort of. I I well, I guess it was that I knew who I wanted to be, that I felt like I was drifting.

For instance, as peer networks and social pressure to, to be normal and fit in, uh, started happening, I don't know, maybe about sixth, seventh grade, right? Cause before that you, if everyone's friends with everybody, you're just playing on the playground. But once social dynamics starts to set in where you pick and choose your friends, I would say that, uh, I growing up didn't, didn't necessarily stray, but when my friends started trying things that I disagreed with, and I drank my parents' alcohol and I did that stuff, but when they started testing with drugs, it just wasn't something I wanted to do. And so I felt myself pulling away from the social networks when the kids started trying new things because I knew I didn't want to. I knew I wanted to be a firefighter young. I made that decision that I was going to grow up and be

a firefighter. And I had heard that they give you a lie detector test. And they literally ask you questions like, did you ever do drugs? Did you ever steal? And so, because at like eight years old, I picked that career. Why? Just because God put it on my heart to want to help people. And I was looking at careers where I would be compensated to give back. And I thought about being a doctor. I was afraid of going to a hundred years of medical school, right? I thought about joining our military, but I didn't want to deploy. I thought about being a police officer, but I had some interaction with the police. And so long story short firefighting, if I get to save lives and play with fire and get paid for it, heck yes, right. And so because I

made that career choice at such a young age, it really was that and my faith, a Northern star guiding my decisions, because I knew that there would someday be a police captain or not a police, excuse me, a firefighter captain or chief asking me questions that I would have to answer, honestly, because I'm hooked up to a lie detector test. And I said, I knew how competitive it was. And I said, I'm going to be like the only one that can say I've never even smoked a cigarette, which is still true to this day. I'm just when it comes to cigarettes, not my thing. And so, so bottom line was as my friends started testing cigarettes because they had older brothers or sisters that smoked and that started maybe between 10 and 14 years old, they, you know, start trying that stuff. The one thing I did do was steal my dad's

beers and drink those with my buddies, right? Try that out, but the drugs and all that wasn't. And so that's literally why I got this tattoo at 17 years old, which is nautical star on my hand which has to do with the compass rose and direction my buddy and i got this together to remind ourselves to not go the direction the world was telling us to go but to always be our own man and choose our own path and so i mean that's pretty profound for 17. yeah and i got the tattoo still it didn't rub off to prove it and so so i again loved my social circles i didn't feel like I was better than anybody or any of that I wasn't judging them for their decisions. It was socially normal to try these things, right. But I avoided and abstained from most everything other than alcohol. And I did get in some trouble

skateboarding with tequila in my backpack at like 16 years old, and the cops pulling us over and getting caught with that and searched and minor in possession and all that, right. So like, again, I'm not a perfect I didn't have this like flawless childhood but as far as the big decisions uh like testing drugs and smoking and things like that and even weed at the time i i abstained from all of it and put this tattoo on my hand to remind me to go my path so to your root question did i ever feel like i was drifting as a kid because i didn't fit in because i wasn't conforming to the peer pressure, I did feel a bit like a drifter. But I knew that my plan was going to work out. And so I had comfort in that.

Okay. So talk about that. Where does a 17-year-old kid get a tattoo of the North Star on his hand? Where does the unwavering belief in the path you've chosen, where does that come from? Because that's, again, you're I mean, there's people who are 30 like, dude, because here's the deal. The reason I did this, like, why is this called escaping the drift? Why is my book called escaping there? Why is all this stuff? Because, dude, I mean, I had some cool jobs, but I didn't really figure it out till I was probably

30 years old. Yeah, I'm saying I just got a cruising along. And for you to have that kind of core belief that that was going to work at 17. that's unique. Do you think that was innate or do you think that was a product of, again, the environment from your family? I think it was a product of the environment. I think I'm very strong willed and I think that that's the way that God wired me. So I think that there's a combination of a few factors that were at play. Number one, I made my mind up and because I was born with a strong will, my will didn't break when there would be peer pressure and be like, hey, Cole, try this or hey, let's go do this or whatever. Yeah.

Again, I wasn't a perfect child. I screwed up and I got in some trouble. I was in jail twice for a night for for dumb choices. But I wasn't going down the path like these were tests and all that. So back to your question. I think that part of it was just innate. It was the way I was born. But also part of it is the faith in my upbringing.

I was born a but also part of it is the faith in my upbringing. Uh, I was born a Christian still am. And, uh, although I'm not preachy and don't, you know, shove that down people's throats, that's, it's my belief system and it helped create, help mold my values as a young man. And I knew that the path that I was choosing was the right one. It was to not do drugs and it was to do good by other people. And it was to really just look good on my firefighter application. I wanted to be one of the only ones that could say I had done this humanitarian work. And like, I can't tell you how important I would say it's three factors, just the way I was born, my faith and my upbringing with my family. And then my career choice as a firefighter, I can't tell you how many times I made the better choice in a situation, just because I didn't want to have to admit that I had done that on a fire exam, right? Or a fire

interview. I wanted that job so bad. It literally changed my childhood. Well, it's, it's so funny because two things about that. Number one, you know, Ari Rastegar said something that was very profound that I thought, I don't know if you know Ari or not, but they call him the Oracle of Austin. Anyway, long story, boring about Ari. He said, you know, most people think integrity is doing something, is keeping your word, doing, you know, doing what you say you will do. And he says, you know, most people think integrity is doing something, uh, is keeping your word, doing, you know, doing what you say you will do. And he says, that's not true because in most cases, there's a consequence that's coming behind. If you don't do what you say you will do in this case,

it was, you know, uh, they'll bust you on the firefighters thing, but that was your driving force. He says, integrity is, is not, is keeping promises to yourself. So in a lot of ways, you were doing both. Obviously, there was the fear of that. But I think that probably built in you a strong sense of integrity because at 17, man, if you can keep with that kind of peer pressure and outside forces, man, if you can keep those promises to yourself, that creates a muscle that is hard to wear down. Exactly. And that still serves me to this day.

I'm glad that you called it a muscle because I think that it's a skill that can at to wear down. Exactly. And that still serves me to this day. I'm glad that you called it a muscle because I think that it is an, it's a skill that can atrophy. Um, but yeah, just being a confident self-awareness and just making choices and then being, um, unwavering and, and standing by your belief system, I think matters. And so what influenced my belief systems at a young age was my faith was my family and was my career choice. And I was just so solid in knowing that that was my future and that those were my beliefs that it just really guided my choices. It did that. When you, when you became a firefighter, two things, number one, was it everything you thought it would be? And how did that experience of, cause you accomplished pretty

young, you became a firefighter at 19. Yeah. So here you are, you become a firefighter at 19, yeah? Yep, yep. So here you are. You've become a firefighter. So, I mean, what was it like to accomplish that dream, and was it everything you thought it would be? So it was sort of. There were a lot more politics than I thought that I expected, and being a rookie, you get hazed a lot. Like you're doing all the BS at the station, and they kind of pick on you a bit. I wasn't expecting any of that.

But the adrenaline, the lights, the sirens, the fires, the car crashes. Actually, that's something that I wasn't aware of. 99% of the time our bell went off, it was for some like grandma's got chest pain, right? I thought that I was just going to go from one fire to the next and one car accident to the next. And you see those, you know, every now and then. So I guess that would be what was different. But just putting on the badge and being in a community of other like-minded, like, firefighters and knowing the career that I had was what I wanted. Like, it absolutely was.

But what's interesting, that career didn't last long, and we can talk about that in a moment. Looking back now, as a man who has three children and a wife, I would have never made it as a firefighter. I'm way I'm first of all, seeing certain people get hurt. Like I, I, one time Easter, I had a response to a head on collision. It was a two lane highway. So you know, one way each direction, head on drunk driver, took out a minivan, dad and mom were both ejected, kids were mangled. And I remember I was probably 2021 when that happened. And it screwed me up big time, you had to go through all the mandatory PTSD training afterwards and speak to therapists and stuff. And I was, you know, like I said, probably 2021 at the time didn't have a wife didn't have children to see something like

that today would destroy me. So it's interesting how God had a bigger plan. Firefighting was my goal. It helped keep me out of trouble as a, as a teen. Um, and it was a career that was honorable and that, that I achieved. And then the car accident that I got in, which ended that career, uh, again, you could say what, what a sad thing it is. I lost it, but firefighting wouldn't have served me long-term. I probably would have either been miserable or, and again, this is no disrespect to firefighting. This is just the way that I'm wired. I wouldn't want to sleep next to a bunch of dudes eight nights a month. I want to be with my wife. Right. But I, but I would also say that it served you immensely because it got you from, I mean, if that was your goal from eight that kept you out of trouble to

19, I think it served you tremendously. Yeah. I have no regrets, but I would also, but I would also say, I can only imagine, because every high level entrepreneur that I know has one thing in common, for sure, which is we are all chronically unemployable. We are the worst employees in the world. And even at 19, well, at 19, I imagine you probably thought you knew more than you know now. So as far, I'm completely unemployable right now. I think about how terrible I would be to, for someone to be my boss. Uh, but firefighting worked in my personality because the work itself was 90% training or, or just maintenance. Right. And so again, being the rookie and having to clean the tools and do all the BS and inventory and all that stuff because you're new. And so

you got to earn your stripes. Uh, that wasn't fun, but like, you know, throwing ladders and running hoes and all of that i imagine 25 years into my career i wouldn't want to see another hose again yeah but as a 19 year old man i thought it was a ton of fun so so for me having a quote-unquote job worked but long term i i inevitably would have been on so weird so weird question did backdraft come out before during around with this wait backdraft came out when i was like a little did elementary school though i don't even remember i don't know i would just think i can see you watch backdraft and you want to go do that it was influential yeah and all that's you know arson and fire and all the cool stuff which again in today's modern world so many buildings have like fire sprinkler systems built in and stuff you don't see the rip roaring fires that you once i guess

some cities do but for the most part in the suburbs of america you don't see the rip roaring fires that you once, I guess some cities do, but for the most part in the suburbs of America, you don't see the rip roaring fires you once did. And so, you know, being a firefighter today is a very different career than it was when I started. All right. Well, let's talk about the accident. Cause I know that that's such a, that is the pivotal moment in your life. I would say. And so you said something earlier that a lot of people who go on to be successful, like

the Goggins have these terrible origin stories. One thing, and I'm curious to hear your thoughts on is I didn't have a bad origin story, but I did have a rough moment that defined who I became as a man in my career. And I'm wondering, is that a common denominator that you see with success that there was some level of adversity that somebody was facing and had to overcome because it's a common thread for high achievers that they either had a terrible upbringing, terrible parents, abuse, a cancer, some sort of a disease, near death experience, something, or they're an immigrant. Gary V talks about his edge of being an immigrant because he has that chip on his shoulder. Yeah. Like,

like for me, I totally think that's true. Like for me, I had a really weird deal, right? Like, like mine. And like, I tell this to Goggins, he looks at me like I'm an idiot, right? But for me, it affected me. So in my core, as a, as a youth, as things tend to do, they get your psyche and inform you. But my parents got divorced when I was very young, as you know, as parents did in the eighties. And my mother broke the rule, which she divorced a Southern lawyer in a small Southern town and got absolutely smoked in the divorce. Right. And, you know, so the problem was my dad, we lived in the ritziest neighborhood, right. And I had a house on the golf course and we're

broke all the time. So here I was, you know, we are just struggling. I mean, we were struggling. My mom worked her ass off, single mom, basically. And my dad gave us the bare minimum to kind of keep us afloat back then. He made up for it later in life but at this point in time it's like we struggle so you know it was always this constant hustle to to be up to fit in like you said and it wasn't with drugs or anything it was just to fit in like i belong in this neighborhood i belong staying over at your house i i'm not embarrassed you know it just it was a weird thing for me and it created this as a kid I would just tell stupid lies, man, just trying to fit in, you know, just trying to do that. And that became kind of a snowball effect that really damaged a lot of my life as a young person and even in my 20s. Yeah, just because it, like I said, like, you know, that stuff becomes a muscle, like you said, having integrity.

Well, you can go the other way too. Yeah. And it can, you can go beyond atrophy and you can build up a pretty negative muscle as well. Yeah. And I'd done that. And, you know, those sorts of things. And, you know, you get kind of, and I always say this, it also developed almost this mentality

of just getting by with stuff. Like there's a scene in the movie called, uh, what is it? Two for the money or whatever it is. It's a gambling movie with, do you know the movie I'm talking about? Al Pacino and, ah, shoot. The guy from, the most handsome actor, was it Matthew McConaughey?

Right, he's in the movie. The most handsome actor. The most handsome actor, whatever. Now we know who you've got to bromance with. You can print that, I don't care. I'm not ashamed. I'll wear it as a badge. But so you've got those two guys are moved like gambling and at one point they go to a gambling anonymous meeting

and al pacino's talking he's like you guys don't have a gambling problem you have you're addicted to losing because you never feel more alive than when you're totally screwed and you barely pull out of it and i can resonate a lot with that from my early twenties. Yeah. When you're like, Holy shit, you know, here I am. Like I never, like I could get out of anything that becomes the mantra instead of just doing the right things and doing the work and get it and achieving it's skating right to the edge. And it's really good that that didn't follow you through your professional career because we have some mutual friends.

I won't mention on this podcast who run their business very gray hat at best. And although they may not be breaking laws, they are bending rules and making millions of dollars. And more than the financial success, they enjoy the fact that they're doing it like this close to going to jail. And, thanks. Yeah. And I just look at them and I'm just like, what is so broken in you that, that your thrill isn't the success, the making money, it's getting away with it. Because they probably had a situation in their life where that became the habit that became the muscle that became the win. Yeah. And I think that was for me. And now I love the fact that I don't have to think about an answer when I talk to people,

because I just tell them what happened, whatever it was, you know, one of the fact that I don't have to think about an answer when I talk to people because I just tell them what happened, whatever it was. You know, one of the best compliments I ever got in my life, I was telling somebody this the other day, was one of my bosses asked me a question. And this is, you know, right before I left the corporate world, asked me a question. And I told him the answer. And it wasn't a good answer on me, but I told him the answer. And he started laughing. He goes, that's why I love you, Gafford. You're a bleeder, man.

Just take it around the chin. Yeah. And that was so much easier. So yeah, you can change that. But, but back to your question, I do believe that you've got to have a pivotal moment and for, and for you, sometimes, sometimes I think it's just self-realization. Sometimes I think it's enough is enough. So then sometimes it's external. We'll get to your question about the accident here in a second then. So then here's my follow-up question to that. If you've got to have that moment, what about those that don't,

again, how do they get that fire? That cause, cause again, I was supposed to be dead. So then here's my follow-up question to that. If you've got to have that moment, what about those that don't again, how do they get that fire that? Cause, cause again, I was supposed to be dead. So I found this new purpose in everything I do. Um, you had your experience growing up. Uh, you, we just both agreed that, that a lot of successful people, one thing they share in common is they have that pivotal moment. Some, some crisis, something happens to them, a diagnosis, a death of whatever that gets them on this new path. How do people listening to your podcast right now who might not have had a near death experience or might not have had this terrible upbringing Goggin style? They've just had a relatively vanilla life, but they want to have levels of success too. How do they find that fire? I think this is what they do. I think you've got

to become absolutely clear about what it is you want. You've got to have levels of success too. Because I think this is where they find that fire. I think this is what they do. I think you've got to become absolutely clear about what it is you want. You've got to have complete and total clarity about what it is you want. With our agents that work here at Simply Vegas, right? When I asked them to make a goal or do a vision statement, the first thing is always about the video. Here's the vision statement. And your vision statement is never allowed to be, have a dollar figure in it ever. It's gotta be, what is the money for? What is it doing? It is, I've paid off my kids' college education before they go. It is, we're in our new house. It can be, it can be materialistic. I don't care. You want a vacation. I'm in Tahiti with my loved ones doing this, and this is how I feel. But you've got to attach,

you've got to become crystal clear about what you want. I want to get back. I want to start an orphanage, whatever it may be. And then you've got to ask yourself and all the decisions that you're making, is this getting me closer to this or further away? And a lot of people just don't have the discipline. So again, you've got to start doing little things every day. Just get the, just get the ball rolling, man. Just a little bit, just a little push. Right. And if it gets going, that's fine. Because the problem is people set these outlandish goals and then i i want to have six pack abs six months later i don't understand why it didn't happen well we all know how to get it you know how to get abs you probably fucking have i have them right now bro i just finished i just finished phase two of 75 hard because you totally have them so yeah but yeah you know exactly how to get it yeah i'm sure here it comes for those

of you don't be right to show the camera, this is going to ruin my Matthew McConaughey crush. I don't know if I want to see this. There it was. I mean, come on, man. That was five days ago. Come on, man. This is okay for kids.

I don't know if you can see that. Probably not, but it's yeah. Yeah. Just, you know, there it is. But exactly. But here's the point. You knew how to get those. Yeah.

Did you, did you just get it, wake up and have them one day? No. Or was it every day? The culmination of little habits to get you there. Yeah, exactly. But here's the point. You knew how to get those. Yeah. Did you, did you just get it, wake up and have them one day? No. Or was it every day, the culmination of little habits to get you there? Yeah, exactly. Everything in life is the same way. Most people aren't willing to do what they want because they're not very clear about what they want. Now here's the thing. Did you do two rounds of 75 hard because you wanted abs? Was that the point? No, no, it had nothing to do with the by-product. That's a by-product of it. Yes. Right. So what was the real reason you just did two rounds of 75? Mental fortitude. I wanted the mental gains. I wanted, I wanted to force myself to do something hard that I didn't want to do. That was incredibly inconvenient to prove to myself that I am willing to do the work and capable of doing anything. Right. I think that's why Andy invented the program. And then it doesn't suck to have abs

either. Right. And I can run really far now too. No, but, but again, but again, here's the thing. Most people would say, I want abs, right? Because they don't take their goals far enough up the ladder. Yeah. Why do you want abs? Why? What's the point? Well, I want to attract a mate. I want to make my wife happy. Why? So she's content in our marriage. It's just, you've got to take it to a point where it really means something that really resonates with you and mean something to your core. So that's, that's my answer. Yeah. So people need to find a why. Yeah. You've got to, you've got to define and have your why you have to, but let's talk about the accident. All right. So firefighting for two years, got started at 19. I'm now 21 years old. I'm in

Southern California with my two best friends, Matt and Steve, and we wanted to come out here to Vegas, right? We were now legally able to gamble and drink. And not that I wasn't doing that with fake IDs previous, but it was nice to legitimately be able to walk into anything Vegas has to offer and be able to legally show my ID and not get yelled at. And so we're like, let's go out to Vegas. Let's spend the weekend, just boys weekend. Let's go. Uh, we were 37 miles past Barstow in the middle of nothing sticks, rocks, and coyotes. And we got into a rollover car accident where I got ejected. The speed limit out there is like 70, 75 or whatever. So we were probably going 80, 85 at the time of the accident.

I don't remember anything about it. I don't remember about a week before the accident and weeks afterwards. But we get into a rollover car accident. I was ejected. Steve was ejected. Matt was not. Matt stayed in the accident the whole time. He got super banged up and had to be rushed to Barstow hospital in an ambulance. But Steve and

I were both so injured that we had to be life flown in a helicopter. They actually had to shut the 15 freeway down in both directions, landed a helicopter right on the freeway, put me and Steve in it and flew us back to Southern California to Arrowhead regional where trauma team was waiting to begin operating on me and begin operating on Steve. Again, I, you know, my injuries were crazy. I had a traumatic brain injury. I had a spinal contusion, so temporarily paralyzed from the waist down, lost a lot of skin when you hit the pavement at 80 plus miles an hour. They had to treat me as a burn victim, even though I hadn't been burned because I lost so much skin from the pavement. I was like a burn victim. So I was, I was super hurt. Um, my critical injuries again was my spinal injury and my brain

injury. Uh, but I was okay. Uh, they knew that I would, there was that critical night of brain swelling night one, but by the time day two came, they knew that I would survive. The question was, you know, is he going to have any long-term,-term effects? And, you know, you can still wonder if I do or don't have brain damage. The survey is out on that one. But I've, praise God, had a 100% recovery. Steve, unfortunately, passed that evening or the next morning, excuse me. And that's the only memory that God gave me is I don't remember the accident. I remember the helicopter, nothing.

But I do remember being told by my mom and dad in my hospital room that I'd been in an accident. I didn't remember it. And my mom was talking, and she said, you and Steve and Matt got into it. And I interrupted her, and I said, well, where's Steve and Matt? And my mom said, Matt's in a different hospital. He's okay. Steve's in a different part of the hospital right now that you're in, and he's not okay. And I said, well, then take me to Steve.

And my mom's like, well, they're getting him ready for surgery. And I said, they're getting him ready for a surgery. What, what surgery does he need? And my mom said, they're getting him ready for an organ transplant. And I looked at my mom and I said, whatever he needs, he can have mine. Take me to Steve and give him mine. I want him to save his life. And then that's when my mom told me, honey, he doesn't need anything. They're going to donate his kidneys. He's not going to survive. And I said, take me to Steve right now. Steve was like a brother to me. We grew up together.

He would call my mom, mom, and I'd call his mom, right? Like we had our own families, but we were as, as we were closer than a lot of brothers that share DNA. And so, uh, the, the hospital agreed. They, they threw all my machines that I was plugged into, into my lap and wheeled me down to Steve, where I was able to hold his hands for the last 45 minutes until his heart finally failed. And then they said that I needed to leave because they needed to begin the surgery to take his organs out to donate to whoever would get them. And so it was time to say goodbye. And that accident, again, was not just physically

debilitating. It was emotionally and mentally as well. I had tremendous grief from losing Steve, but I had terrible guilt from surviving. It was, it was like soul crushing guilt of why didn't he make it? And I did. And so I had to move back into my mom and dad's house. Firefighting was at the time out the window because you can't be a firefighter from a wheelchair. And again, praise God, I had a hundred percent recovery. Never went back to firefighting. Cause I started my first business on that men. And we'll probably talk about that in just a second. But I had to move back into my parents' house because I couldn't even feed myself. Like I was so injured after that accident. I was just, you know, a sack of potatoes that had to be carried around the house, like carried to the toilet. You can imagine

because I couldn't walk. And so that that was career ending for the time for firefighting and where I needed to start evaluating what my future would look like. And ultimately, what put me into entrepreneurship was I was like, if I'm going to be in a wheelchair for the rest of my life or have a cane or have a limp or have a mental disability, I don't know who's ever going to pay me. Like what job am I going to be able to get? I just need to learn how to earn money on my own. And so that accident was what really propelled me into entrepreneurship. And then what got me into real estate was every wealthy person I talked to had real estate to do with them. They either made their money in real estate, like you and I do, or they might be a surgeon and they're sticking all their money in real estate. So I was like,

man, the one common denominator amongst wealthy people is real estate. I'm going to do that. So I knew I had to start a business. I knew I wanted it to be in real estate. And that was 18 years ago. And the rest is, as they say, history. So when you were brain injured when that happened and and i gotta tell and i'm gonna give i'm gonna give cole like such like a heartfelt thank you from me to you um you know i've been i've been pretty vocal about the issue that i had and and hopefully you know it's in remission right now and hopefully it won't come back which is trimelgenia neuralgia which sucks um essentially for those of you that don't know it's like getting electrocuted with a taser in your face with the wind blows on you. It's not fun. And dude, I know a lot of people and I know

a lot of people that are close to me. I know a lot of people that are acquaintances. I know a lot of people and dude, you called and checked up on me as much as my closest friends here. That's right. And I will, and I'm assuming that has something to do with your experience with brain injury, but also that you're a pretty good dude. But wholeheartedly, thank you for checking up on me. Yeah, well, you're a friend. And, you know, I watched one of your posts where you just very vulnerably shared the situation

that you were in, and it resonated with me. I felt terrible for, for what you were going through. And so I just made a mental note to care and to just tell you, I care and to just reach out to you. And I'll tell you this, man, if you're listening to this and since you did that, right, since you did that, I'm going to tell you this, like one of the questions I have, I want to talk about thrive in a couple of minutes, but one of the questions I have, we can get into it kind of now. I want to tell you the trickle down effect that I have. Cause I I'm going to say that of everybody I know, I think you're the king of trickle down. Okay. I think you are. I think literally I want to know what that means. Here's

what it means. Here's what it means. Here's what it means, right? It means the events that you have are the events that you do like thrive. I think, think of how many people were affected by the trickle down effect of that. Yeah. Because you taught somebody how to have a purpose driven business and then that helps somebody else and then help somebody else. And that spread. And since you did that for me, just so you know, I've had a couple of people, they're not great. They're not, I mean, we don't hang out Friday nights, you know, they're, they're friends. I see them. I say, hi, you know, we're back and forth sending me sometimes on stuff, but I've had some friends of mine have some bad spots. They get some health issues and I've gone out of my way. That's right. To check up on them,

just to make sure that, you know, Hey man, to send them soup to their house, to do whatever, blah, blah, blah. And now, you know, based on how that made me feel with what you did for me, anybody in my, in my orbit that has a medical issue. I'm the first guy to check up on them consistently. That's true wealth. Yeah, dude, it is. And so, and that's you, that's you. Well, thanks man. Yeah. I'm going to go back to my upbringing, man. I was just taught to care. And so I can't care about everyone and everything, but you're in my friendship circle, bro. And so, and again, just something about that video where you were just sharing very transparently what you're going through. I was just like, dude, I'm going to make a mental mo. I'm praying for you, too.

Yeah. And just, you know, put you on my board to think of and pray for and to reach out to. So I'm glad it meant something to you, man. Dude, so much. Certainly wasn't doing it for a shout out on your podcast. No, dude. No, man. But the reason I tell you that, right, is not looking. You got abs, bro. I don't need to blow your head up anymore. But the reason that I tell you that is to show you that the continued effect that you have on others, because there's been people that I have now touched in the same way because of what you did to me. And I think that's cool, man. I think that's the whole point. It's paying it forward. Yeah, it is. And we get to do that with information, right? You're, you're an expert in what you do. You bring on experts in their areas. You get to distribute that content on the podcast.

And I think that that will have a trickle down as well. And so it's just good to be putting out positivity, man, whether it be supporting a friend who's having a medical issue or whether it be the effort and money and energy you put into your podcast. I think that it's important for us in the world to not just tiptoe to our graves and arrive safely, not mattering and not being noticed by anyone, but we need to use the talents, the gifts, the resources that we've been given, whatever opportunities we have, the relationships and invest into them and do things that actually matter. And having relationship, which is what you just described matters. I think that God put us on this earth to love God, love others, have a blast and give back. I mean, if you read the entire Bible, which I've done once,

and you had to summarize what it's calling us to do, it is just that. Love God, love each other, enjoy your life, enjoy your gifts, and have fun and give back. And so I just think that literally what you're describing is what we're called to do. And so I appreciate that it mattered to you and that you're now paying it forward to other people. That's rad. And it's really the whole basis of Thrive. Yeah. So let's talk about that.

I mean, look, you started a business and i know when you started doing your business you'd gone to mexico and you got exposed to the orphanage yep i'm going there sunday night i'll be at my orphanage monday morning so you're a guy that actually owns an orphanage based on your experience in mexico because you went down to mexico just you were like i'm gonna eat tacos and surf right yeah you know so i just real quick on that um i had a girlfriend at the time that dumped me who's now my wife so i got her back um good for you my business was failing that'll show her colt yeah yeah she dumped me i'm gonna marry her yeah exactly she dumped me and so i was like you know what freaking a i'm gonna put a ring on your finger that's it um and so she

dumped me at the time um because i wasn't ready for the next level of commitment and so i figured i'd show her with a ring uh that was 10 months later after she dumped me 10 months later is when I proposed and I didn't even know she had a boyfriend at the time because it had been 10 months, but I knew I loved her more than anything. Luckily she said, heck yes. And here we are. Um, but so yeah, I don't even remember what your question was. I'm not thinking about, Oh yeah. Why did I go to Mexico? And so, so, uh, she had dumped me at the time I was exclusively making money in real estate. I didn't have any of my other businesses that, you know, like thrive wasn't even a concept the time. I was exclusively making money in real estate. I didn't have any of my other businesses that, you know, like Thrive wasn't even a concept yet. So I was exclusively making money flipping houses at the time, too.

I hadn't even diversified yet in my real estate portfolio. I was just wholesaling and rehabbing houses. And so 2008 kicked my ass, right? 2005, 6 and 7, I'm making money hand over fist. I'm 23 years old having six-figure months on occasion. And then 2008, 9 and 10, I'm hemorrhaging. Yeah. I'm going to my title agencies and my closing tables and they're nine and 10, I'm emerging. Yeah. I'm going to

my title agencies and my closing tables and they're at, they're telling me how much money I owe instead of me leaving with a check and, you know, taking a picture, sitting on the hood of a Lambo, like I'm Cody Sperber or somebody I freaking instead was writing checks at the closing table. So that lasted a few years from 2008, nine and 10. Finally in 2010, I was like, my girlfriend just dumped me. My business is a dumpster fire. I'm out of here. And so if I'm going to do something with my time, I'm going to go down to Mexico, which I loved. I'm going to serve, I'm going to eat tacos. And if I'm going to be productive, I'm going to join a nonprofit and give back. And so that's what I did. I actually moved to Mexico, joined staff with a nonprofit organization called YWAM Youth with a Mission,

where my job was to build houses for homeless families. And that's, that was my quote unquote job. I had to pay to be there. There are staff fees. So not only did I have a 40 hour a week job of building houses and doing construction, I had some other jobs too. I literally had to pay to be there. That's what, you know, Christian missionary work looks like. And I had a little bit of savings left from the good old days in real estate. So I was living off my savings, paying my way through building houses for homeless families in Mexico. And then that's when I saw the opportunity and the need for what became my orphanage. There was a family that was trying to do it on their own. They didn't quite have the structure of the resources. I took what little bit I had

learned in real estate and we bought some land and built an orphanage. And that was in 2011. Fast forward to today, we just bought five and a half acres. We're expanding the orphanage. We're going to be able to have a hundred more kids in about a year. How many kids are there now? 40. That's amazing. Yeah. And we're going to expand by a hundred. So almost triple what we can do now. Um, and so anyway, the, the orphanage, I don't, you know, it wasn't an accident. I think everything happens for a reason, but it certainly wasn't why I went down there, but it is a huge part of my life and mission now. Yeah. That's awesome. But that, but that, okay. But that experience became the basis for thrive. Yeah. So went down there, ran out of money, uh, because as I just shared,

and I'm glad that you teed that question up as perfect. So I'm down there living off my savings, paying my staff fees, and now I'm taking care of kids. I got this orphanage, I think I had 11 kids at the time. And so I'm feeding these kids. I'm taking care of the orphanage expenses, which isn't a lot. I mean, we're talking a few thousand dollars a month can completely cover everything, but when you aren't making any income and you're just living off savings, I could calculate pretty quickly. Holy cow. I've got a few months left until I'm completely broke. And not only am I going to let myself down for the first time in my life, cause I was at this point, maybe 26 or something, 27. Um, for the first time in my life,

I have other mouths to feed, right? I wasn't married yet. I didn't have kids, but I had this orphanage that relied on me. So for the first time in my life, I knew what it felt like to have outside financial pressure, not just, Hey, can Cole pay rent and feed himself, but can Cole feed these kids to talk about a fast forward into responsibility. Yeah, no kidding. And so I thought about starting a nonprofit, which I've since done. But at the time I was like, you know what? I don't want to ask people to just donate money to me. I was already an entrepreneur, as you know, from flipping houses. I said, it'd be way easier to start a business that just gave back. And Tom's shoes was getting big at the time. For your listeners that may not be familiar for every pair of shoes they sold, they gave a pair away. And I looked at that model and this was 2010,

11. So they were just blowing up. They were getting all their free PR because of their cool concept. And I said, man, this guy's onto something. This founder, Blake Mikowski, he's not just philanthropic. His business is giving back. It's not that he's rich. And so he's writing checks to charity. The actual function of his business is giving back. That's what I'm going to do instead. I'm going to go back to America. I'm going to start businesses and they're going to fund my orphanage. And that was it. And I did it and it worked. And I came back to America. I started flipping houses again, started some other businesses in 2011 and had some tremendous success. Then I had some friends that started these weird things called

podcasts, right? I'd never heard of before. The only time I'd ever heard of a podcast was when my mom, if I would miss church, she'd be like, listen to the podcast. I'm like, what? So I thought it was a church thing. Yeah. This was like 2013, right? And so I was like, what is the podcast? But long story short, I was asked to be a guest on a few of my friends like John Lee

Dumas and others that had shows. And I talked about my business concept. And then my social media messages flooded in from people that were like, dude, I love how you're running your business. Could you ever teach me how like, how does this work? How do you have a business that doesn't just make money, it makes impact. And I was like, Oh, this is cool. There's obviously, you know, entrepreneurs are thirsty for connecting their business to more meaning than just income generation, they want to have significance through the through their work. I bet you I could do a conference and teach this.

So I asked my wife, Hey, what if we rented like a hotel here in Southern California and through a conference and see who would show up? Well, then as I churned on it, the entrepreneur got the best of me and we said, screw it, let's make it a huge conference. Let's do it in Vegas and let's get Gary Vaynerchuk to show up. And sure enough, I was able to get Gary V, uh, Robert Herjavec from Shark Tank and just an incredible star lineup for my very first Thrive back in 2015. And I started it to be a one-off event to just show people, you know, what to do. Yeah. How to do a four purpose business. And at the end of those three days, the feedback was so tremendous that I knew that I had accidentally stumbled across something that I would continue to do forever. And so, you know, my message is all about the four purpose business. Hey, if you're going to

make money, do it unapologetically, but make money matter. Go and buy your brand new Ferrari, but you don't feel an ounce of guilt because you're also simultaneously funding an orphanage and helping human trafficking. And it's just like, people live too extreme. There are certain people that think you shouldn't have any money and you should just give it all away.

And then there are other people that are just consumers that don't even want to help a homeless man with a lunch. And I think that true wealth is somewhere in the middle where it's enjoying, you know, I live in an 8,000 square foot house. I have a bunch of cars that I collect. Like I'm not in poverty. I could live way more grand than I do, right?

I live well within my means, but I have plenty. But at the same time, I have my orphanage and I have my nonprofit, makemoneymatter.org. And I've got everything that I'm working on. And so I feel like I'm doing a fair balance of consuming, driving the cars I want to drive, living where I want to live, taking the vacations I want while simultaneously giving back. And I think that that's a missing element for a lot of people. They just don't have the vehicle or the mechanism to give back, to activate that part of

your heart that God has wired every single one of us to need. We have to contribute. Tony Robbins talks about the six, excuse me, six human needs. One of them is contribution. The way that we are wired is we have to feel like we matter. And if you feel insignificant, chances are you're not contributing. And if you want to feel more significant, go do something philanthropic for someone else, someone who is down and out, give them a hand up and see how much better you feel about yourself. And you're, you're talking about people escaping the drift. One way to escape the drift is to connect your actions to purpose, right? That's the exact opposite of drifting is like, you know, insignificant movement is what I would say. Like the definition of drifting is you're just going wherever the wind blows you.

But if you want to get out of that, connect your business, connect your actions to some cause, some charity, some purpose that matters deeply to you. It might be saving animals. It might be deforestation. It might be human trafficking. It might be orphans, whatever it is. There's a need. And I guarantee you that you, that there's something that resonates or matters with you that there is a need for in the world that you can go out there and change. And. Well, it's funny you say that one of the most, one of the best things I heard from one of those stages wasn't from Gary Vaynerchuk from where from your stage of thrive wasn't from Herjavec or any of the big guys who was the kid that taught kids about money who was that kid Caleb Maddox Caleb Maddox right I bought his books for my for my kids but

one of the things this was a kid at the time he was probably 12 11 when we saw when I saw him on stage and very impressive on stage number one number two he said whenever he and his father were having a tough time his dad like if they were down to their last ten dollars whatever was his dad would say it's time to go give and that act of giving to others always came back tenfold i think and i think when people get to a point where they're in desperation or times are hard they go into a hard scarcity mentality and i think the i think the universe hears that. Yeah. And the universe serves it back up. Yeah, I agree. So I think like you just said, you know, if you're struggling, you know, I made a promise to myself, right. I'm trying to this,

that I literally just decided this last week, which is I'm going to try to go a year without asking anybody for anything. That's why I don't even know if that's healthy. No, no, no, no. It is healthy. It is healthy. It is healthy because I just want, I just want to see what will happen if I go 100% to the gift side. Okay. I see what you're saying. If I could just, rather than, rather than, Hey bro, you know, Hey, can you do something for me? It's just going to be all about the gift. I get what you're saying. And if I can't figure out a way, even if I need something, if I can't figure out a way to make it a give to somebody else, I'm not going to do it. That's cool. I'm just not, that's my goal. Yeah. That's

a good live. Because I think, I think we just, especially when you get going really fast, you just find yourself, you find yourself, I think it's like a bank, it's like a bank account, right? There's deposits and withdraws. And when you get going really fast and I got some big projects I'm working on and I just, I get going a million miles an hour and I just start to feel out of balance. Like I'm on too much on the take right now. I've asked too much of too many people without reciprocating that. It's interesting that you have a sensitivity to that. Cause a lot of people wouldn't feel that they would just continue to take out. I feel it to the core. That's healthy. Yeah. I'm like, man,

cause, cause I don't ever want anybody to look at me like i owe them anything right i hate that yeah like i was i just that that's the thing and i don't know where that comes from i'm gonna obviously wait that's some sort of a deep-rooted thing yeah i don't want to owe anybody anything i don't know why yeah well that's that's interesting um but it's not bad to have other people owe you something though no 100 so yeah i think you could be onto something like well here's the thing like so many Well, that's, that's interesting. But it's not bad to have other people owe you something though. No, a hundred percent. So yeah, I think you could be onto something. Like, well, here's the thing. Like so many people, I think when there's a problem, like I, I just thought yesterday

too, there was a problem. And so many people are more interested in collecting scalps than chits. Like I'm not interested in getting scalps. I don't care about winning an argument. I don't care about being right. I would rather leave a situation where even if somebody does something incredibly stupid and screws up, I would rather handle them with grace to the point where they feel like they owe me.

That's cool. I had a podcast scheduled yesterday with somebody. I won't mention who they are, but they are literally a billionaire, literally a billionaire. And their assistant screwed up the time. It was a Zoom podcast. I'm sitting here on Zoom. I'm waiting, ready to go. And their assistant screwed up the time. It was a zoom podcast. I'm sitting here on zoom. I'm waiting, ready to go. And their assistant had screwed it up. And I'm like, Hey, you guys having trouble getting on what's going on. And there was like, and the assistant started,

no immediately like, Oh my God, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. And I was just really gracious about it. I was like, Hey, you know what? Things happen. I get it. Don't worry about it. It's all good. My studio's in my office. It took me two seconds to walk down the hall. Don't worry about it. And then I my studio's in my office it took me two seconds to walk down the hall don't worry about it and then i get an email directly from this person it's just like so annoying i'm so sorry i was just like that's a shit right where you see so many people are so quick anymore to just want to go attack people and get a scalp but yeah there's that but back to thrive yeah i don't know what we're talking about. I said I don't know what we're talking about anymore.

Dude, we're just riffing. We're just riffing, which is good. I normally don't do these sheets, and that's how it is. But I do want to know one thing, though, because this is a question I like to ask people. What do you think your biggest failure as an entrepreneur has been? Man. When did you shit the bed? Yeah.

It's like, which one would I pick? The one that caused you three hours of sleep for as long as it took. Well, I'm in that now. Are you? Yeah. Yeah, I'm in that now, actually. No, I'll just talk about this deal I'm in right now. So I'm doing a land entitlement deal.

That's kind of a new strategy that I've developed in real estate investing. Just the real cliff notes version, because most people haven't heard of it is I buy raw dirt. There's nothing built on it and work with the local municipalities to change what can be built on it, uh, to get it all ready, get all the paperwork, all the permitting, all the testing of the environmental impact reports done so that the end user can immediately start building. You, most people don't know this, but if someone buys a piece of dirt, it can be two or more years before they're even allowed to start construction because of the brutal paperwork. Well, someone like me comes through and does it all so that someone like you, John, if you wanted

to build this building right here would buy my land for me. Cause you could start construction the next day. And so I can charge a huge premium for doing that. So long story short, I bought this piece of dirt for $4.2 million, put about $300,000 into the entitlement. So I'm into it all in for about $4.5 million, give or take a lot of that is friends and family money that we raised. A lot of that's my money. I then sold it for $9.5 million, freaking crushed it, super stoked. We're going to make over almost $5 million after broker fees and all of that. We're going to make over four and a half million dollars true net. Well, I didn't realize how much politics was involved and we got it sold and everything's

done. And I thought I was closing and I was already spending the money in my mind, but then the, the, the local, uh, my property has to be, I don't want to go too far into the, into the weeds, but my property happens to be located in what's called an environmental justice area, which has nothing to do with the environment. It just means, I guess I'm finding out that, that in that area, more, more people are minorities than aren't, if that makes sense, like a heavily minority populated area. And so apparently what developers have done in the past is take advantage of these minority communities by building things that shouldn't be built. I don't even know, I totally understand it myself. So because my property happens to be inside an

environmental justice area, now I have all these environmental justice groups coming after me, suing me and extorting me for money because I'm just building a building that I've already been approved to build. They just don't want it. They just want dirt to be there. And they're now talking about the world and there's going to be truck traffic. And this is not, it's like we already did the traffic studies. We already passed. We're actually not going to increase traffic that bad. And there's already a five lane road here. Like we're fine. So long story short, I right right now my biggest screw up was I am now having to be reactive instead of proactive and I'm on my heels instead of being on my toes. I had to hire a mayor who was an ex mayor now, um, uh, is an attorney who's $1,200 an hour

to help me navigate all this. And it's real crazy. So I've got millions of dollars of other people's money. I've already sold the property and my buyer's patiently waiting to close and everything, everything. Yeah. It's been six months and everything is all being held up because I'm being extorted out of blue hair, crazy psychopaths that just want me to pay them not to help the environment, to just pay them. I have to pay their organizations that are environmental justice warriors, but they don't do anything for the environment. They just take my money and put it in their bank accounts.

And so I'm in the middle of that right now. And I there's, there's no clear path. It's not like there's a check box where it's like, okay, I got two or three more boxes to check and then I'm done with this. It's just this long drawn out process of them being pissed and coming out of the woodworks with the fricking pitchforks. See,

I always tell people there's three B's to entrepreneurship you're gonna have the balls to do it yeah the brains to pull it off and the brawn to shoulder the problems yeah so you're you're in the brawn right now my man you're in the brawn how how do you shoulder that like like how do you like because dude i know i've been in some like lately launching some stuff where you're talking about two three hours of sleep where I'm laying in bed watching it go three thirty. Yeah. Four thirty. And I'm already have insomnia, too. So, yeah, it's it's stressful because right now my buyer's patiently waiting. He understands this has nothing to do with me. It's not my fault.

And he's super cool, but he could pull the plug tomorrow. I'm not performing technically because I was supposed to give him a fully entitled property that is now in litigation and being held. Yeah. And so long story short, how am I processing it? Dude, just one day at a time. Um, I try to have this, this is like good, bad advice. I try to have perspective and say, Hey, like we just had Jesse Lee pass of colon cancer. She'd found out in March and passed in October or September. Crazy. Yeah. Like just crazy. So like, I have so much to be thankful for and I've like my health and, and my family and all that. So, so I try a lot,

but that doesn't put me back to sleep. It's, it's good to have that perspective, but if I'm being completely honest, it doesn't make me feel a hundred percent better. It's like, well, at least I'm not dying. It's like, wait, my problem is so bad that at least I'm not dying is the only thing to make myself feel better. That's not good. That's not good. And so it's just been a lot of trying to enjoy, intentionally enjoy the small things like the stop and smell the roses type phrase. So I am my daughter's soccer coach. I am loving this season I'm in of coaching her myself, of watching her blossom and of having the responsibility of these little kids and creating self-confidence in them. And it's a girl's team. So just telling them that they're amazing. They're beautiful. And trying to create a good self-image in these little girls as they're

growing up, like things like that, that would have just been something I'm doing. I'm doing with more intention and like really feeling it. I don't know how else to explain it, but instead of just doing it, I'm feeling it. I'm experiencing it. And I'm trying to do that to keep my mind off the land deal. And I'm enjoying life way more. You're living in the moment. So I haven't yet. Staying in the moment.

To your question, I haven't yet found the thing that makes me sleep or feel better. But as a result of this thing, I'm enjoying life more. Almost like that country song, Live Like You Were Dying. I don't even know who sings it. I've been living like I'm dying as a result of this deal. And I don't even have to die, which is great. Right. And so the deal is making me slow down and just really, really enjoy everything more because it stresses me out so much.

It's like my only counter is to enjoy the things extra that I've already enjoying anyway. And that's just what I've been doing, bro. And so it's like Buddha's philosophy, you know, living in regret is living for yesterday, living in anxiety is living for tomorrow. Try to stay at peace is staying in the moment. Yeah. And that's that, that has been what it works for me. Cause if I think in the future, like what if my buyer backs out, then I have to go back to market. And then what if I don't get 9.5 and what if they, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what,

what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, while, but still like, there's all these, what is, what is, what do it? And there's just

like, chill. I'm at soccer practice right now. And I have these beautiful little kids that are looking at me for direction. Like, this is where I am. The deal cannot, you can't rent any more space in my mind right now. Like I'm giving my entire brain to this thing I'm doing right now. And hopefully once the deal is done, I can stay in this zone because life is more vibrant. It's more enjoyable. And I'm way more appreciative as a husband, father and everything else I do. Yeah, I think I think during COVID, I know so many of my friends randomly, right, that I just didn't discuss this with them. But especially during COVID, through all the problems that happened there, I think a lot

of my friends became students of modern stoicism. All the Ryan Holiday books, reading meditations, you know, understanding Seneca and all of those things. And I think that, you know, I love all that stuff and dude, I love it. I live it. I love it. I mean, memento mori, all of those things I love, but I'm with you, man. It's five o'clock in the morning at five 15, five 20 hours. I was asleep last night. Like I can't, like, I can't shut it off. And it just, dude, I've tried everything. I've tried to eat edibles.

My buddy's like, Oh, eat this. You'll sleep the whole night. No, no, no, I don't. I don't, I don't, I don't at all. Well, you know, Hey man, it was worth a question to see if you had all the answers. Cool. Don't have the answer to that. But what I will tell you for anybody who's stressed out is try what I just explained though, because again, it, it probably does lower my anxiety around the deal too, because I don't let my mind wander. I've now trained myself that when I start to stress about the deal, that's when I need to focus on the present and it's helped. So I think that this deal, I think that this, I believe I'm a huge believer that everything happens for a reason. And I think that this deal happened for

a reason, not just for the millions that it will make me, cause we're going to get through this and we're going to make millions of dollars, pay my investors as promised. And everybody's going to be happy, but it's teaching me a different lifestyle that I think would be an ancillary benefit I would have never had if the deal didn't go off the rails the way it did. So long answer to your question of have I ever screwed up bad in business? Yeah, I screwed up doing something that I didn't know the ins and outs of. I didn't understand the politics. I thought I was a real estate investor. I didn't realize I was a part-time politician too, and litigator now as well, apparently. And so, uh, if I focus

too much into the weeds of, of my problems, then it kind of cascades into all areas of my life where everything is more negative. But when I focus on the things that I enjoy and that positive, it makes everything better. And that's not brilliant advice, but it works. Well, well question, do you have any kind of a system to recall your failure? So you don't repeat it again? Is there a process for that for you? I don't think I do have like some SOP that I go through to avoid recreating problems. I think I'm just dumb and I learn the hard way on everything I do.

And once I've learned that the stove is hot, I just don't touch it again. You don't touch it again. See, I'm a little denser. I'm like, I'm that guy. Maybe it's not hot today. No, no, no. don't touch it. You don't touch it again. See, I'm a little denser. I'm like, I'm the guy. Maybe it's not hot today. No, no, no. There was some movie. I don't remember what it was. Robin Williams played a bum in it and there was Harvard or something involved. But all I remember about the movie was every time he had a moment in his life,

he'd find a rock on the ground and pick it up. So he could always remember that moment by having the rock. So my movies matter to you. Yeah, they do. Yeah. Because you referenced four or five movies. I love them. Yeah. I love it. Why? I always look for the less than any. Do you know that's my end career is I want to make movies? Is it? I don't want to be an actor.

I want to make movies. Well, I love that. But it's funny when you guys walked in today and somebody said like, you know, what is the, what is that belt up there? Oh yeah. I couldn't even tell you. Somebody gave it to me for Christmas. That's going on the shelf.

I don't know. But what you don't know is my office is filled with, with failure mementos. Really? Oh, it's filled with them. Like I can walk in and say. Interesting. So that's your system. Oh yeah. Like, like, like I have a bottle of, I have a bottle of vitamins sitting on my desk right there and it was $150,000 mistake. Ouch. And it teaches me the lesson. So you didn't invest in it or something? No, no, no, no, no, no, no. We did, but we, I invested in this company before we knew anybody wanted the product.

Oh, so you lost 150 grand. Yes. That. Yes, that reminds me, don't ever invest anything unless I know there's a market. Yeah. Market it first. I see what you're doing. Yeah, that's smart. So I keep these things around. Oh, yeah, I keep these things around. I mean, yeah, and so all over my office are little mementos of colossal failures because

I never want to forget those lessons. Right. I mean, dude, I'm not perfect. I still, I've seen, dude, nothing makes me angrier in life than when I make the same mistake twice. Yeah. And I do sometimes. No, I hate that. I'm very self-critical and I hate making mistakes and I hate making the same mistake twice. Yeah. Do you find it hard to forgive yourself when you make big mistakes? Hmm. I don't know. Um, the, the whole self-love thing, self-forgiveness thing isn't something I've struggled with.

I don't, I don't know. I think that I don't hold myself to, how do I even answer that? Because I've had plenty of mistakes, right? Yeah. And I don't need to like go to my therapist. I have a therapist. I don't need to go to my therapist and talk to her about my mistakes. Like, I think I just understand that when you're at the level you and I are at in business that in my history, I'm old enough now

to know that I have failed way more than I've succeeded. I have, I have started like 50 companies and like 47 of them have failed and like 10 of them have failed like fantastically, but like three or four of them got it right and turned me into a multimillionaire. And so I think that I don't hold it against myself too much or take anything too personally, because I think it's just a numbers game. And I think that I have a pretty firm and healthy understanding of that, that like, I don't beat myself up too bad. And I never really have. And I know people that do and I and I help them and I and I care for them. And I talked them through it. But that's, that's one thing if I want to pat myself on the back that when, when I fail, I know that it's a failure moment, but it doesn't mean I'm a failure.

Yeah. And I think that maybe that's just rooted in my self-confidence or just in my history now of knowing, Hey, Cole, you're going to fail nine and a half times, but that last time you get it right, that half that time is going to pay. Yeah. You'll be worth it all. I think for me, like if it's, if it's my call, if it's my deal, if I'm the only one in it, if I'm the only one there and I screwed up, that's on me, I can let it go pretty quick where I carry it hard is if I get other people involved. Like you said, Oh, I got family and friends money in here. Like I've made, dude, I had to make, I'm going to make people whole, like the seven figures of deals I got them in and it sucked and it, and it's a siege.

And there was, there was a time where I thought I had to sell my own house to do that. Uh, a different deal that I was like, babe, you know, we were going to be upside down on this. And I've got like maybe $4 million of equity in my house. And I was like, we're either going to sell the house or pull a line of credit to get out of, you know, to get everyone paid off real quick. Yeah. Um, we didn't have to praise God, but yeah, it's yeah. And that that's integrity that you did the right thing because I have invested in countless deals where they're just like, sorry, Cole, too bad. So sad. And maybe like your vitamin deal. And it's like, how come when I take people's money and have lost it, I still pay them back. But when people take my

money, they don't pay me back and don't feel bad about it. And the next time they see me, they give me a big hug. Oh yeah. You understood the happened? What's up, bro? I got a new one for you, though. What are you talking about? Yeah, screw yourself. Yeah. I literally just told my wife I'll never invest in anything again because my last five or six, so I do some private equity stuff. I shouldn't even call it private equity, but I invest in companies for equity.

And I've invested multiple seven figures over the years into like 20 some odd different things. You know, I'm huge in Everbull. I have 23 locations. I'm in Everbull as well, exactly. So, so some of them are doing great. Sort of, I guess some of them, some of them are going great, but others was just, I wired money and poof, no communication. It's just gone. The company failed. And I told my wife, I'll never do that again. So maybe I need some medicine bottles around my house or, yeah, no, dude, I, you know, and here, here's the worst thing. My wife, dude, I, my wife is like my conceit.

Larry dude. She is. She is Andrew. The guy that you met out. Dude, she's got such a good vibe on people, man. Yeah. Like, and it like literally, literally my wife has said two times, two times in like 15 years, I do not like this person.

I do not trust this person. I do not want you to do business with a person. Wasn't me. Was it? No, it wasn't good. Both times, seven figure problems. And I shouldn't dude from now on, like literally if my wife says, you know, I don't know, I'm out. Like if she even says like, I'm not sure I'm yeah, I'm out. I'm going strictly because her gut is there. Cause I'm, I'm charged. I'm like strictly because her gut is there. Because I'm charged. I'm like, let's go. It sounds like your wife's similar to mine where they just have like wisdom.

They do. Just old wisdom about them. Supernatural. Like straight from God. Yeah, my wife in very many ways will call things out way in advance. And crazy things that couldn't even be right. And it makes me want to tell a story, but I won't for the sake of the show. But she has a level of intuition that is supernatural, that is just God given. And it sounds like your wife has the same thing.

God bless him, man. These women are trying to, they're trying to keep us out of trouble. I mean, sometimes we can't get out of our own way. Yeah, totally. Terrible. All right, cool. Well, let's, uh, you know, it's been an hour, man. People, they're still with us.

So like, how long is this going to go? No, I'm just kidding. They're probably still listening. This is interesting. Yeah. But if they want to find you, man, how do people find you? Just Instagram is probably best. Cole Hatter.

No underscores, no dots. Just C-O-L-E-H-A-T-T-E-R. And I'm pretty vocal there about anything I'm up to. So if it's trips to Mexico that people want to come on or, you know, one of my upcoming events, they can hear about it there. And when are we looking for Thrive Return? Do we have dates yet? Yeah, no, no specific dates, but fall of next year.

So fall of next year. About October 2024. Back to Vegas, yes? Yeah, back to Vegas. Yeah, I'll always do Thrive return? Do we have dates yet? Yeah, no, no specific dates, but fall of next year. So fall of next year. About October 2024. Back to Vegas, yes? Yeah, back to Vegas. Yeah, I'll always do Thrive. Back to Vegas. Easy. Going to be October.

Can you even imagine when they build that baseball stadium where the Tropicana is, if by some miracle the A's make the playoffs and there's football, hockey, and the A's going on, can you even imagine what an absolute disaster that court was gonna be dude no but what a cool thing for your town though you like vegas is on the map now you've got professional sports teams you've got stadiums you got all this good stuff like vegas i'm finally old enough to say vegas is changing before my eyes yeah um and so yeah besides the mess of the corridor which i would avoid if i were you in those times but wreck but that's where they want to put the stadium is where the Tropicana is, huh? Yeah.

I mean, the thing's got to go. When you're at the Mandalay Bay looking out at the Tropicana, we call it, it's just nasty. I know. You're a car guy. You come to F1? Uh-huh. Yeah. Well, I might go with you, right, to that dinner.

Well, okay. We can get another table. We've already filled two of them. Ah, damn. We've literally filled two of them. I messaged you and said I might take two seats. Did you? Yeah. I missed that. I'll get filled two of them. Ah, damn. Yeah. I messaged you and said, I might take two seats. Did you? Yeah.

I miss that. I'll, I'll get you. I'll get you two seats if you want. Maybe. So anyway, I am a car guy. I thought I was going to have fun with you,

but I guess you got more important friends. No, no, no, no, no, no, no,

I'm kidding. We're trying to get, so, okay. So we're trying to get half the patio, the half the patio in Montemigami is what we're trying to do, which would be 50 seats. Cause we could easily like my 10, Gavin's like, yeah, yeah dude the 20 went like nothing yeah nothing and dude it's in

it's they're charging like 2500 just sitting the grandstands across this across street this is really third what is it 1500 bucks ahead including the tips gratuity and the f1 fee all that stuff 1500 bucks said including all of all the food you can eat on the patio at monomia yeah now granted 220 miles an hour you're just gonna see if you get another table let me know because i was i was i was planning on going so all right dude okay i will i guess no i just need to wire you money i will think i'll figure it out i will figure it out i promise all right it was in the uh the clever thread where we're all together you were like hey guys i gotta say when i wrote back i was like i'll take two all right cool no all right i'm

gonna work this out for you today i promise all right if you it then, because that was the first thread I throw it to. Yeah. So I was first in line and the first to be cut. Thanks, bro. No. God. So you had a whiteboard. You put my name on it and then cooler people said they wanted to go.

So I got the white. Oh, my God. Never, never. No. Never. See if I ask you about your face again. All right. So where can they hear the podcast?

Because that's out now. Yes. Yeah. It's beyond profits. Yes. Yeah. It's beyond profits.com. Yeah. It's my podcast, similar format, 45 minutes to an hour,

bringing experts on to talk about their expertise and to just share it with the world. And we talked beyond the profits. It's not just about making money. It's how you give back. It's how you care for yourself, your family, and just,

you know, what really creates the formula for a high performer. I love it. Well, thanks so much for coming, man. It's always good to see you. And it was great to have you in a high performer. I love it. Well, thanks so much for coming, man. It's always good to see you. And it was great to have you in here, bro.

I enjoyed this conversation immensely. It's like, I didn't even ask you like, yeah, I just did nothing off the sheet. It is what it is. But I liked the conversation. It was interesting. Yeah. Thanks for having me, bro. It's been a pleasure.

And as you know, I'm a fan. I'm always going to support you. There it is. All right, guys, we will see you next week. What's up, everybody? Thanks for joining us for another episode of Escaping the Drift. Hope you got a bunch out of it, or at least as much as I did out of it. Anyway, if you want to learn more about the show, you can always go over to escapingthedrift.com.

You can join our mailing list. But do me a favor, if you wouldn't mind, throw up that five-star review. Give us a share. Do something, man. We're here for you. Hopefully hopefully you'll be here for us but anyway in the meantime we will see you at the next episode