Escaping the Drift with John Gafford - #93: Shaya Habibi: Building Success through Mentorship

Episode Date: December 5, 2023

Join John Gafford in this compelling episode of "Escaping the Drift" as he delves into the fascinating story of Shaya Habibi, a determined individual who went from a promising real estate career to an extraordinary life-changing mentorship. Discover the pivotal moments as Shaya shares his relentless pursuit of success, actively seeking a mentor who could guide him to the highest echelons of achievement. Uncover the secrets to Shaya's audacious pitch to potential mentors, showcasing the delicate balance between eagerness and respect. Explore the power of proximity and how Shaya's genuine gratitude, consistency, and eagerness to learn set the stage for an unprecedented mentorship opportunity. As Shaya navigates the intricate dance of mentorship, listeners gain insights into the delicate art of maintaining a relationship with a successful mentor. From book recommendations to shared visions, Shaya showcases the importance of executing mentorship effectively.Unveil the lessons learned, the sacrifices made, and the wisdom gained during this immersive mentorship journey. Escape the drift and step into a world where mentorship becomes the key to unlocking your full potential.Highlights:"In every moment of decision, the destiny of our lives is shaped." "Mentorship is not about finding someone to impress, but someone to progress with.""Success is not a solo journey; it's a collective effort of shared wisdom and guidance." Timestamps:00:00: Introduction 02:23: Finding a Mentor08:33: An Unexpected Encounter11:50: Bonding16:55: Networking20:05: Building Trust 26:39: Mentorship36:23: Personal Growth 45:06: Burnout 47:09: Real Estate

I don't know who you are. I'm not going to sit here and play 20 questions to try to figure it out. You know, if you want to be in my orbit, you need to figure out what you can do to bring to my table, not the other way around. And that just kind of has to be how it is. And now, Escaping the Drift, the show designed to get you from where you are to where you want to be. I'm John Gafford, and I have a knack for getting extraordinary achievers to drop their secrets to help you on a path to greatness. So stop drifting along, escape the drift, and it's time to start right now. Welcome back, everybody, to Escaping the Drift. Got a good one today.

Man, I always say that, dude. I always just, I always drop it. We got a good one today. Man, I always say that, dude. I always just, I always drop it. We got a good one. But today's show is actually interesting because it's kind of a shoot off from a show that I had a couple of weeks ago. A couple of weeks ago, I had Ari Rastegar on who they call the Oracle of Austin. And in the course of that chat, Ari is an uber, uber successful dude. And the course of that chat, I asked him if he was at a place in his career where he was going to give back, where he was like taking on mentors and doing that. And he brought up his mentor, his mentee, excuse me, who he actually brought on.

And I thought to myself, man, what a powerful lesson that we could teach right here through the podcast is teach you how to get a powerful mentor, but also how to be a good mentee. So what we did was through Ari, we tracked down his mentee who is doing very well for himself now, and we brought him on. And I want to kind of talk about that story of how he became a mentee to a dude who's got, you know, a ginormous net worth and how he talked him into taking time. So ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Escaping the Drift. This is Shia Habibi. What's up, man? How are you? Hey, John. Thanks for having me on. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. And yes, this is a fun story to tell. I'm excited to get into it. So it's awesome. So first of all, let's talk about what you do now.

I mean, now you are doing real estate development similar to what Ari does in using some of the magic that you've learned from him into your own business. But I want to go back. So let's go back to where Shia was not balling like Shia is now. Let's talk about the decisions that changed Shia's life. Let's do that. So I was I was in a place in my life um it was about 25 26 years old at the time and i was i don't know decent doing doing decent numbers for that age but i always wanted to understand more on how to be successful at the highest level.

What were you, what were you doing? What were you doing at 25? What were you doing? So it was, uh, I was in Los Angeles. I was doing, um, I was basically piggybacking off others doing fix and flips. And, uh, I was a real estate agent. Okay. So in Los Angeles, cause that's where I was born real estate agent. Okay. So in Los Angeles, that's where I was born and raised. And I was, as I said,

I was doing decently well. I was making money. I was spending money. Not the best, smartest kid move, but you know, when you first get it, you want to spend it. Sure. But there was missing information.

I just, I didn't have nearly all the answers or any of the answers that I wanted on how to be successful. And I knew that as a student of success, if I were to just study somebody successful, that I can learn what they did and mimic it. And this is one of somebody who I pay close attention to is Tony Robbins. And he says, as a student of success, find somebody doing it at the absolute highest level and just copy what they're doing. Be around them and copy what they're doing. So I was on a mission to track down a mentor, somebody who can teach me how to do it at the highest level in a way that I wouldn't have to go through a thousand different wrong steps to find the first right one. Yeah. So this was an accident. This was not accidental. This was you on a mission for this. I was on a mission. This is what I was searching for. I truly wanted to find somebody who can help

me be the best version of myself and to learn the game at the absolute highest level. How far did you take that manifestation? Did you create like an avatar on your mind for the person you were looking for? Or was just like feelers out to the horizon for anybody that was balling? Like, what were you looking for? You know, I never clearly defined it on paper. I never clearly defined it or visualized it or created a board for it or anything like that. But I had an idea in my head of what it would look like. And I've kind of been guided by my intuition my entire life. So it's like, I knew what felt right and I knew i felt wrong so the success that i wanted was somebody who can understand i'm trying to think back right like i'm trying to think back to like what it was when it wasn't clearly defined but it was somebody who had clear decisive abilities who achieved a certain level of success that was in my opinion higher if if you were to walk into a room of 100 that would be the the top guy the guy right yeah the top guy yeah like maybe not a

room of you know one million is the top guy yeah but at least like a room of a thousand or like basically in whatever room you would walk into normally that would be the guy that everybody's like yeah that's the guy that's got the juice that's these guys got the juice that's the guy that everybody the guy that goes that guy who's that guy got it okay perfect all right so you went you went to a tony robbins event yeah by the way so and that's actually where i met ari at a tony robbins event yeah but before even i met ari i was still looking for a mentor i went to every one of the big real estate conferences and walked up to the head guy and just walked up and said, Hey, listen, Mike, I want to study you. I want to walk around and be with you 24 hours a day and just do whatever I can to get in the room. Right. Grant Cardone says, if you can't get in the room, serve water, or if you can't get a seat at the table you serve water become a waiter right so it's like i was i was like mocked up to them i said hey man i'll drive you around i'll do whatever you need me to do i just want to be if i if i can watch you imagine how creepy that sounds right can i just watch you for every second every single day i just want to

follow you around and like yeah so how many people did you how many people did you pitch that to um at least 10 right like at least 10 this was back in the day where when fortune builders was was doing well i went to van merrill i pitched him um i've walked up to a couple other guys who were just like the head speakers at conferences and pitch them. And then out of just like sheer, like serendipity, I went to a Tony Robbins event. Let's stop. Let's stop. Let's stop though. Cause there's the first lesson. If you're listening to this because you want to define the billion dollar

mentor lesson, number one, lots of people are probably going to tell you now and might look at you like you're crazy. So you got to have some thick skin going into it it really it really is what it is um and you know we i just took as many shots as i could but people that fit my box my box that i didn't write down but and if i can go back i'd write it down but people that fit my box and a lot of them was just bad timing they're like hey man i really a lot of my responses were, I really appreciate what you're doing. I really appreciate what you, like, I would love to have you.

I just don't have a spot for you. Yeah. Like, I just don't know. So they were kind. Nobody was overly overtly weirded out by you. They were kind in their, in their denial. Somebody was weirded out training order i'm not sure um nobody was nobody was weirded out they were they were actually a lot of people were impressed a lot of people kind of did the keep going at it you're going

to find somebody it's just a not most of it was not right timing yeah okay got it was timing yeah right and there were just no place in that person's life yep but i kept at it because this is just truly something that i wanted yeah so you go to the tony robbins event upw this was it was upw los angeles i think it was to i think it was 2017 2016 2016 i believe in los angeles um and it actually the story leads a little bit more before that um my my girl at the time my ex-girlfriend got into an uber a week before and it happened to have somebody who worked the event was the driver i ended up finding that same driver. She told her, she told that driver everything about me and the event. And he said, basically come find me. Right. So at the event, which is 10,000 plus people, he just happened to

be one of the very first people I bumped into. So wait a second. So this could, no, this, this could be the first time in history that a reverse Uber pitch actually worked out. Because normally I get an Uber and I've got to hear every gazillion dollar idea they have going on. And they're looking for investors. And here's this guy, the Uber driver reverses the situation and actually reaches out to you to help you. And it does. Massive value add, right? Yeah. Five stars, buddy. Five stars. Like what are the chances that he's the guy that you, but by the way, his name was ace shout out to ace. Okay. There you go. If you're driving today, listen to this. God bless age. There you go. Yeah. We're happy to see this anyway. So he, he, he points, Hey,

I walk in and we're both, well, I'm sitting in the VIP section. So close to the front, which was, you know, I, you know, also shout out to my mother who forced me to go to the Tony Robbins event. Good job, mom. Love you, mother. And Ace was the first person I bumped into. He's like, what are you up to? I said, I'm in real estate. He points out Ari points him out. Like, by the way, there's, if you've ever been to a Tony Robbins event,

it's like a live concert of people jumping around on stage, screaming like hands over the head. Yeah. In the middle of this, I'm like trying to listen to what he's saying. He's like pointing to that guy says, go find him, go talk to that guy. He's a mogul. I got to tell you not to take away from that part of it, but just talking about Tony Robbins events in general, if you've never been to a Tony Robbins event, this is, this is what happens to you at a Tony Robbins event. If you're anything like me,

right? The first day of the event, the first 30 minutes, the first hour, all these people that have been to it before jumping around like lunatics, like they're in the front row at like a Taylor Swift concert, their Swifties. Right. And you and you're like bro there's no way i'm doing this and literally 48 hours later you're standing on your chair jumping up and down like a crazy person yeah that's just that's what it's like to be in a tony robbins that's the power that that guy has but just want to throw that in so he points out ari so ari's pointing out so what i'm saying points out ari and by the way, we look back. I've told Ari this story like back down the line.

We have no idea how this man knew who he was. Because this is not like Ari's a frequent Tony Robbins or at this time. This was his first event too. Yeah. Right. So this was his very first UPW as well. So I get point. already pointed out to me he doesn't know that i know that i walk over and kind of place myself in the vicinity so there's multiple rows i sit in the

row right in front of them because my goal is not to walk up and say the very first thing is hey man what's up like some guy pointed you out like yeah, yeah, it's a little creepy. No, my, my job is, Hey, like we're going to be in the same room for a minimum of 24 hours. I'm going to make my presence known around you. So subconsciously when I finally do approach you down the line, you'll know exactly who I am. There's a level of familiarity with you when you actually make the approach. There's social proof, there's all this stuff got it

and so this whole event you know i'm making it my and my thing is i'm i'm loud and i like to meet people and i like to talk to people so i'm loud around the people around me people notice me people love it like and everybody's hugging and high-fiving and doing all this. If you're not a Tony Robbins person, this is very normal. This is very normal stuff. So day one of Tony Robbins, which is a Thursday, is fire walk day. The first thing he makes you do is he preps you the whole day

to be able to walk on fire, hot fire. And that shows that you're able to do a lot more than you think you're going to do. But in order to do that, you have to be in a peak state. So we're constantly practicing on being in a peak state. And Tony is telling us the full day that you have to be able to choose a firewalk partner at the end of day one. Thanks, Tony. Now I'm sure people listen. I'm sure if you're listening along, you pretty much see where this is going to go. Um, I, I made myself a free cap. I made myself the loudest person in the area. We have to pick a firewalk partner by the end of the day.

So we get to the point where we're picking fire walk partners. And the absolute very first thing I do is cause I'm sitting in front of her. They said, all right, time to pick a fire partner. I do that. My partner right there. And Ari goes, okay. Assumptive close. I like, okay, so here we go. Let's break in this down again. So number one, you got to shoot your shots. You get, you got to plan on asking it as many people as you do. Number two, step two, proximity is power. Don't like rushed up on them. Don't bum rush people. You got to ease in. You got to find a side door. You got to find a, you got to become familiar. They got to just say, oh, I've seen that guy around before.

I've seen this face. I've seen this happen. Number three, look for a moment of opportunity and pounce like a damn cheetah. That's what we got to do. So here we go. So we've, we've made Ari our firework partner. Here we go. So think about what this means if in terms of Tony Robbins, what you why you have a partner is you are each putting each other in peak state and holding each other accountable to walking across fire.

Yeah. And if it's the first time you've ever done it, it's an extremely significant thing to do with another person so basically we spent the next three hours together prepping each other up putting each other in a peak state walking across fire all in all never really talking about what each other does we're just becoming friends because also you don't want to choose a mentor who you despise or he despises you like you actually need to get along with a person you're going to spend a lot of time with yeah so basically we became best friends you know in my mind best friends okay so so yeah shared circumstance i think is a great way to bond over i think if you look at i was talking to someone about this the other day if i don't know i know you went to school but i don't know if you're in a fraternity or not. I always said the best time I ever had my fraternity is when you're pledged getting hazed. When your brother doing hazing, it's not nearly

as much fun because you're bonding with your pledge brothers, getting this crap beat out of you every day. It's pretty much how it is. And this is a similar kind of deal. If you can create a situation that's going to create some sort of, I mean, like, dude, if you could, I mean, look, walking on fire is extreme and that's not going to present itself very often. But let's say you can put yourself in a situation where that person's favorite sporting team is playing for a championship. That would be a good place because that no matter where you are, I don't care who you are. If you love a sports team, that's going to become a core memory for you. But inserting yourself into a situation where you can be part of a core memory for someone

it's definitely a good ploy i'm going to say that's a good move unless you can just it was carry charcoal around with you everywhere which i don't think that's practical you know what if i if we get if i get to the stage where i'm that successful where i have a charcoal follower i'll let you know just in case you want to do some firewalking just on a random tuesday there it is i get it so now you become good friends over the firelock so the key here is is we were able to spend a lot of time in the same area without intentionally being there for each other right so when that's the case we were able to bond very well right and after the first day we shared we exchanged numbers and we decided to you know sit

in the same area for the rest of the conference together in the same area same vicinity and i just became really really close with him and started asking like hey what do you what do you do because i didn't really know what he did um other than the fact that I could Google him and he was everywhere. Yeah. Like celebrities and articles were written about him and I'm like, okay, so he's somebody, let me figure out exactly what it is that he did. Right. Because at the time, private equity was a foreign concept to me. So I didn't really understand private equity to the point that I do now, but private equity was a foreign concept to me.

And what I ended up finding out afterwards is pretty much was a foreign concept to a lot of people, but let's, let's cut that short for now, but it was spent the next couple of days together. And I did the, okay, listen, we've become a good friend. This is what I do. I see what you're doing. What can I do to be a part of it right like what can i do to be in your world around you study you same pitch but a little bit more elegant yeah i was gonna say because now you guys are friends it wasn't so before it was this is what i want to do i want to come follow around i want to do. I want to come follow you around. I want to do this.

Now you've kind of softened that pitch to what can I do to be around, to be in your orbit? Now, I think this, now I want to talk about that for a second though, because the difference in the two pitches, right? If you walk up to somebody cold, right? Which again, sometimes maybe you have to, this opportunity is not going to present itself like this. So if you're walking up to people cold, you better know damn well what you can do and what value you can provide them. Like you better come, like if somebody walks up to me and just

says, what can I do to bring value to you? I mean, we talk about this all the time, nothing. Like I'm, I'm just fine right now. I don't know who you are. I'm not going to sit here and play 20 questions and try to figure it out. You know, if you want to be in my orbit, you need to figure out what you can do to bring to my table, not the other way around. And that just kind of has to be how it is. But the difference here, and again, if you're thinking you got to go off, you know, the reservation and start looking all over the place and try to find a mentor, your mentor might be somebody that's connected to your family, might be somebody that you already kind of know, might be somebody in your circle that you have a loose relationship with already. You don't have to necessarily go hunting for people you don't know unless you really don't

know anybody. But that's why this pitch I think worked because you had created a relationship with this person prior. So they had a vested interest in their response to you which was what what was his response wrong time bad timing he said bad timing again bad time bad timing by the way it was bad timing i said it doesn't matter like just let me know what i could do to be around it i'll follow up till you find a position that that you can open up for me. Right. But at this case, I had the cell phone number. We had the rapport and we had the shared experience. He was in Dallas at the time and I was in Los Angeles. Right. So he would fly to Los Angeles for work and he'd let me know when he was coming to town and I did the cool, I'll come pick you up from the airport. Yep. Yep. It doesn't matter what it is. Like I'll

come pick you up from the airport. I'll drop you off at the hotel and I don't even care if that's it. Right. And this is kind of where I got, I started getting, um, I started getting some pushback from, from certain people that were very close to me in my life going, Oh, you're, you're doing well. Why are you picking somebody up from the airport? And this person's so successful. Why do they need somebody to pick them up from the airport? Do they listen?

Like people who are successful love familiarity. Like they don't want random people picking them up or they don't want random cars taking them. And also what better way for me to build more trust and rapport than showing up on time, being dependable, being reliable, and then having sole one-on-one time uninterrupted, like what better way for me to like pitch my case of hey like i can be a value add in whatever i can do yep whatever you can open up so car ride led to hotel hotel that they do want to come to dinner with me and my friends and proximity became for me it started more proximity more proximity started building more

more and more rapport so that happened maybe by the way for the next year this is this is kind of the way that it was like hey like i would come to town what do you want to do let's go yeah i would i'll text him here and there and then there's also a very fine line between being pushy and needy yeah and being like eager how often how often would you text him um if there was a lull probably probably like two or three times a month but if there was like a lull um anytime you have a chance to be able to text or to be able to open up a conversation without it seeming needy or pushy. It's a very, it's a very difficult thing to describe, but like, you'll have something like, Oh, Hey, like I have a picture of us. Oh, Hey, like I was just,

something just came by that reminded me of you and you can send it. And then that person goes, that's amazing. And you don't really need to have more than a conversation about that yeah but it's just keeping yourself kind of on top of mind um two two times a month maybe like unless there was more than that for more reasons um he would text me at times like hey like this is a great book go get it and i would make an i would make an effort to make sure that i went to Barnes and Nobles that day, got the book, sent the picture, started reading. And then based off of that in about a week or so, I can text them like some kind of phrase from the book or something that I learned from the book. So it's like, you can have things after a while that you can text people

and then they won't find it intrusive, like really successful. People won't find it intrusive, like really successful people won't find it intrusive, but we'll find it eager. Sure. No, it's too much. Well, let's talk about that because I think the number one thing that most successful people are looking in people that they want to help. And I think, I think most successful people, you want to help other people. You do. It's a, it's a very fulfilling thing. Like I always say the best part about what I get to do every day with our, you know, 600 agents that work at our real estate brokerage is when I see them become very successful because of mirroring and doing things that we do here and plugging into our systems and watching those systems make them money. That is more fulfilling

to me than anything else. Cause I'm affecting their families. There's just, there's no telling what I'm affecting there. So that's my favorite part of what I do. But the point that I was going to make is the most important thing that I think people look for is you don't want an ass call and dude, they're the worst when you're like people like, Oh, what should I do? And what do you think? And you're like, Oh, read this book. It's great. And then crickets. And then like six months later, what should I do? Did you read that book? Oh no, I was too busy, blah, blah, blah. Like, bro, I'm out. Like, like you get one, you get one shot. And if you don't do what I tell you, you should do. Why am I telling you to do anything? You know, it just doesn't make any sense. So the fact that everything he told you to do, you jumped right on

probably resonated pretty, pretty highly with them. It's gratitude too. It's showing your gratitude by actually listening to what the other, you're asking somebody, Hey, like I need your help with this, or I would like your help with this. Please give me your advice. What a, what a bigger F you than not doing what they're telling you to do. And then coming back. And this is the most of them because I'm, I've helped people a lot throughout their, their lives as well. Now I have, I've been mentoring this kid since he was 16 years old. He's about 19. And there's a couple other people in our life that come back and forth and say, Hey, like, how can, if I have to tell somebody the same thing twice, yeah, you're out. It doesn't, but why? Like you're, it's insulting. If you think about it,

that's just wasting their time. It's like,'s like we have kids we don't need somebody else to we have to tell things to more than once like i got kids for that yeah my five-year-old is the only person that i will repeat things more times too because there's a genuine care about how that for like in this particular case yeah so it's like you then find from what he's told you and books to get you can find different ways to be able to start a conversation. So you can then carry a conversation over. Then there's different ways. So it's I mean, this was so long ago that I can't give exact examples other than that. Like, hey, book.

Then a week later, you're like, this is what I got from the first couple. I'll head in. Understand this part. Like, what do you think yeah but it was yeah there's ways but you're talking about something that obviously means something to them and not just what's up bro here's a meme of nonsense you know what i mean well the worst is when somebody texts you going hey and you go hey like yeah how are you you doing what what like bye i have so much other things to do but so this kind of happened for the next year where it was on and off like he would come to la i'd pick him up he'd suggest something for me to read i'd go read it we talk about it um ty you know there's there's some stuff where we were a little couple couple things that i was

dreaming about right like my visions my dreams and I would share that with him and he'd be like, that's amazing, you know, but not too needy, not too pushy. And then kind of the stars aligned. And about a year after that, but a year, a year of me doing this, there's no, I'm not working for him. I'm not, you know, let's stop stop though because that whole time you were really auditioning for the role that whether whether you whether you look at it like that way or not but but he was he was auditioning you he's like okay is this somebody that's worthy of my time because somebody that's operating at that level is places of value on their time it's the most important commodity they have which is obviously why ari is trying to live forever i mean he may not have any value on his time anymore because he's going to live to be like

400 but the point being but the point is you know you were auditioning for the role so at some point he offers it to you how's that conversation go so that's so this is a year later he does he texts me and goes hey i'm moving to la my family and i are moving to la i go great like i've been in la my whole life his wife is from la then i was like i'll help you move in what i'm whatever i can help you move in i'll take you around i have a car right like whatever you guys need so i showed up met their whole family helped them move in um spent about a week with them and then actually ended up he needed to go to san diego i said cool i'll drive you down to san diego i also went to school at san diego to use csd so i've lived in san diego for three four years at this point

so i'm very familiar with i'll take you around i'll show you around i'll take you to a good spot to drive you down. Right. So we spent another three days together. And then at the end of that was basically him saying, Hey, I'll open you up a position because this is just you, me and you have spent so much time together. We're good together. We worked together. Like we can spend time together and not like we enjoy each other's company.

And you're clearly somebody who is ambitious and has value to that. So it ended up that he just opened a position up for me. And that position basically was me following him around for three years. It was whatever, whatever I, it was whatever I need, whenever I need it, you're going to be the way he put it was like, maybe not as eloquently. He was like, man, serve it is essentially what he put out. It doesn't like, to me, it's like, I'm okay with taking a couple steps back. If it helps me take like 40 steps forward. See, that's the lesson. That's the lesson. Because if you listen to this kids, the, uh, the biggest enemy of achievement is thinking you got it all figured out and not willing to to swallow that pride, swallow that ego a little bit and learn something from somebody else.

I mean, it's it's why you read books. It's why you do things moves like this. It's why you do anything. But if you're one of those people that thinks you got it figured out, you are already behind the eight ball. And and yeah, there you go. So I love that. Good. So you've swallowed your pride.

You've become Jeeves for Ari. What were those? What were the three years like? What was that like? Well, so the first, the first like year and a half was basically me doing anything that he needed. But a lot of it was, you know, prepping, some of it was prepping vitamins. Yeah.

If you want it, we're not going down that black hole. If you want to go back and listen to Ari's insane health regimen, you can listen to his podcast. It's a couple back, which is, yeah. GQ did an article about him based on how many pills he takes or supplements he takes.

I should say, so there you go. It's wild. I created a whole system on how to prep, prep vitamins. And, um, but no,

it was booking, booking flights, uh, answering emails, scheduling emails scheduling um you know helping the family with whatever they needed but mainly i was i was actually living with him at a point right living with him and his family and his wife kelly graciously like did he say you had to move in with him because it'd be easier for him or was that was that the move well at the time i when we were in la i was not living with them got it but then we

moved to austin and then i never lived in texas before my entire life and i didn't know anything so he ended up moving into like a very very large house that had a whole separate like in-law suite wing and i moved i moved there but we were never there we were we were on three four planes a week so it's for me it was just a place that i kept some of my stuff and and we we would come recharge there for a little bit every once in a while so it's not like i had this entire life where i was it was a hindrance to me no it's actually like very we were like on a mission yeah you weren't sitting by his pool with a with a tropical drink in your hand like just that that's not the life we just chose yeah you weren't you weren't turtle from entourage you were actually uh on trips we were on we were on

four planes a week oh my god you know we were going from meeting meeting this investor here seeing this building here like we. Like we were constantly mobile. And Ari's a person who's like, hey, old school guy, even though he's a young guy, he's old school. So he's like, hey, you want a meeting? Cool, I'll be on a plane. Okay, cool, you want to meet? Like, if you're gonna invest in my building,

like I'm gonna look you in the eye. So it's like, that's is a really, really like handshake, like old school kind of mentality of cool. Like you're going to invest in us. Like I'm going to invest in you. So we would do all, almost every meeting in person. Wow. And that's why, like, if you talk to any one of his investors today, like they all have the absolute highest praise for him because he takes the extra effort and the extra time to care about i mean you're taking people's money investing their hard-earned money to give them returns that they're depending on to live their lives like there's no bigger responsibility and honor to be honest like

doing that stuff so we we took it with absolute like the most importance like we we treated it with like the most respect and the most important. So we would go a lot of these meetings we would take in person, almost every single one of them. So for the first year and a half I was in Austin, that's what we were doing. We were on flights. We were, we were, that's, that's kind of what I was doing. So it was coordinating. All that was, was a lot.

It was a full-time job just doing that. So how much money do you guys think you raised in that year and a half? How much capital do you think I raised in those meetings? You know, I, I, I, between pension funds and high net worths and everything, I, I would, I would butcher the number. That's probably something you'd have to ask Ariri but there was a couple pension funds there was um i mean most of most of the investors are doctors um yeah i i i wouldn't want to see the numbers so it wasn't good so you go from kind of working the fix and flip angle and hanging out in rooms with you know your real estate agent in l.a which sure there might have

been i mean there might have been some flossy clients but you are now sitting in rooms with, you know, your real estate agent in LA, which sure there might have been, I mean, there might've been some flossy clients, but you are now sitting in rooms with serious network people and serious controllers of liquid liquidity. And so what did you learn in those rooms? It's actually, it's actually very funny. The lessons that I learned in the rooms are all things that could have been taught at a very young age that I just happened to not grasp or get taught because, you know, the school and education system doesn't teach you. One of the most important things that I learned is the key to success is consistency consistently doing the same boring tasks over and over and over and over again compounds into ultimately being the results that you want if you brush your teeth one day out of the year nothing's going to happen but if you brush it every day you have you have perfect hygiene yeah well it's like i always say one of my favorite sayings is monotony cannot be the enemy of enthusiasm because monotony in business is such a big part of what it is is monotony it's the same task over

and over to well it's not there's no there's no glory and glamour in in doing like you're not going to be the most excited person like if you ask any of these guys with discipline that that consistency and discipline is ultimately what leads to it to success right like and ari always told me he's like hey the path to success is paved by the most talented people yeah yeah perseverance runs over talent every day. Sure. Talented, not hardworking ego people like who are just like, Oh, I'm so good at this. I don't have to work at it. I'm so good. I don't have to like take the time to do the things that in my opinion are beneath me. Right. So in that respect, like the things that i learned in those rooms were so basic

but it's like these secrets to life that nobody ever there's not they're not in books they're not like you get to watch the mannerisms of how somebody carries themselves something that would have upset any normal human being you watch this guy worth 200 million dollars just sit there and be like okay it's just bounce off his shoulders it's not that it bounces off the shoulders like they just realize that their emotions like controlling your emotions is key to success like if you have if you just something comes at you and you freak out and you're angry it clouds your judgment you're unable to make an educated decision and an educated just just like any type of decision on what you're doing but the guy who sits there and goes well

okay yeah let me let me hover above this problem and look at it from, from 10,000 feet. I mean, that's, you know, I'm such a fan of like modern stoicism, like Ryan holiday books and his interpretations of, you know, meditations, Marcus Aurelius and all of that stuff and, and Seneca and all, all of the ancient Greeks. I'm such a fan of all that stuff. And I try literally daily stoic every day. And I tried, I tried to do that. I mean, that, that is obviously one of the hardest things to do is, is master your emotions in times of great stress and i've got to believe that you know just in the little bit of time that i've been around already that's definitely a lesson that he's got cold oh my it's it's being able to watch just that john like just how does somebody

handle like problems how does somebody handle strategy how does somebody handle problems? How does somebody handle strategy? How does somebody handle just getting up in the morning and creating a routine and eating right? And these things that it's like the most important work that you will ever do in your life is the work that you do on yourself. Yeah. Well, I had, you know, it's funny. Everybody that comes through the studio is normally pretty successful and there's always some sort of a mentor in there. And last week I had Nick Daniel on, who was one of the founders of V Shred, and he was talking about

his first mentor. And he said, I'd never seen anybody work like this person. They were like a machine. And like what I thought was working, like what I thought was actually putting in effort and doing work was not even remotely close to what this human being did. So just by sitting next to him for a year and, and learning that that's that level of output is what it takes to get it done. That was, was changing for him. I've got to imagine, had you ever seen anybody work like Ari before you got next to him and watched him work?

No, for those of you listening and not watching, that was a head shake left and right. No, they're listening. Shia, they're listening to us before he, before he even finished that was shaking. No, the man is obsessive with his work not only with his work but with his work on himself yeah and i've never been i i to this day i think i can take on a lot i think i have a big capacity for for stress and i i feel like i've been trained my whole life to be able to do that but like watching the thing i have no idea how he fits in a normal day of 24 hours all the things that he does yeah it doesn't make i've been around him for i've been

around him for what about five years and i i haven't i still to this day have no idea how he has the capacity for it what was your personal work if you had to put like a percentage like 50 30 100 whatever before working with ari what was your work output and after being around somebody at that level what do you think that raised your level to does that make sense i mean it's nice it's it's not it's night and day if you were talking about the potential that i can go to i was probably at 30 and then i shot up to like 80 yeah so just by the only reason why yeah no don't just go expound on it please i was gonna say so the only reason why it's not 100 because i i know what i'm capable of and i know i'm i actually don't even know what i'm capable of

so i'm gonna leave that 20 gap there to figure that out but no the just the lessons that i learned you i'll give you an example you ever have a moment it's called like an inflection point where in about 24 hour period you've learned more than you have learned your entire life sure of course i i honestly well what's worse what's worse is when you learn stuff that like all of a sudden you look at everything you've been doing like holy shit that was incredibly wrong. Like I felt that way. I felt when I read Alex Ramosi's books, I was like, oh my God. Oh, oh my God. I've been making all of these horrible mistakes, marketing my businesses and, and made hard pivots on all of them. It was crazy. So yes, I know exactly what you're talking about. So let me give you another example of something I learned.

It's that moment that you're talking about. What I would do when I realized, damn, I wish I, when you learn something that you wish you knew earlier, I would have spent the next two weeks on and off regretting the fact that I didn't know that earlier. And what I've learned through hanging around Ari and other successful people is that if you just decrease that emotion that you're going to have, it may be inevitable. But if you just decrease that from two weeks to two minutes, you can accomplish so much more. And it's okay to have emotions and it's okay to have like regret or, I mean, a lot of people say don't regret anything but i actually learn

from regret yeah but it's just sitting in it for a moment processing yourself 30 yeah giving yourself 30 seconds to two minutes of regret and then being like okay i'm done what did i learn i learned you know what i learned now that's done let's move move on. Yep. So that's another thing from, from being around these people. So you worked for him for three full years before you struck a bat and struck it out on your own. Right. So I was with him 2016 to about 2019. Yeah. And then for the first two years was basically a personal assistant, but

getting my role expanded and raised and got to the point where I was raising capital and I was director of capital markets. And then me and Ari had a great talk and I'm like, Hey man, I want to go try this stuff on my own. And is actually really really funny i remember we were sitting right outside prime 112 in miami like six months in and he and by the way ari's like a fortune teller so he's one of those people that he'll look at you and he'll like be able to like fortune tell a whole bunch of things and you're like looking at him like how did you it's like a head scratch kind of thing how does he do that you're just like anyway so six months into it he said to me he's like hey listen scratch kind of thing how does he do that you're just like anyway so six

months into it he said to me he's like hey listen there's going to be a point where you're actually going to go out on your own and it's going to be okay and i'm going to bless it whenever you're ready and you feel like you're ready and you can do it like you'll have my blessing and i didn't even remember that conversation but then you know three and a half years later i said hey i want to go try this stuff on my own and he he goes, remember when I told you? And I do that. Yep. Did you tell me that?

Yeah, you did. You're right. I do. I do. Absolutely. Yeah, you did say that. Yeah. Well, I think but I think again, I think any good mentor has to understand, number one, at some point you're going to leave the nest. Number two,

if it's taken too long, maybe kick you out. I mean, I've had some people, I've had some people in my trust tree that it was like, you know what, maybe you just need to fly a little bit and give them a little shove and then watch them take off. Cause you know, cause there, there are certain people also personality types that don't see they, even after all the mentoring in the world, they don't believe in themselves enough to all the mentoring in the world they don't believe in themselves enough to take a leap of faith and sometimes those people need a little shove but i think if you don't go into it you know understanding that you're potentially training a future competitor i think you're not you're not doing it for the right reasons and i think he's

understands that so i love that he's he saw that coming prognosticated that but i think you know i think again if he's if you're at a place where if you're at a place where you're giving information or somebody wants it you're not fearful of them becoming a competitor in the marketplace you're not fearful of that you understand it's going to happen but it's it's not going to take over your business this isn't macbeth it's it's also the scarcity mindset versus abundance right so it's like if you're scared that oh well there's so few things in the world that this person is going to take what's mine no like there's so much out there like for i mean we're in single family homes and i'm friends with

a lot of like the wholesalers and investors that are in my area and i'm i'm way i love collaboration like way way more than the competition. Like, because if you think about it, how many homes are actually in your area? Like in a certain zip code, there's thousands of homes. And then there's multiple zip codes. There's like tens of thousands of even more homes in certain cities. And then talk about the United States. So it's like, if you think about it, like you can potentially, if you were to max out and do 100, 200 homes, you're getting like a percentage of a percentage of homes. Oh, for sure. For that.

So it's like people are thinking in this scarcity mindset. And then Ari, like I always mentioned, he's like, hey, Richard Branson has a quote. He says, we build them as leaders so that they can leave and they're able to leave but we have such a good culture inside that they choose to stay yeah yeah right so that's what to this day we still do work together yeah so it's like he's he's at this point where he's invested into my business so what was the trend what was the transition what was the mental transition you tell him? What was the mental transition? You tell him I'm ready to leave the nest. I'm ready to do my own deal. Right. What was the first week? Like,

were you always on point? Like I got this or were there moments of doubt? Like maybe I shouldn't have come out here on my own. Like, like what was that like? Oh, you're going to, you're going to love this. I spent the first week and my girlfriend will attest to this i spent the first week staring at my ceiling like burnt out i was burnt out let's just uh we worked we worked 24 hours a day seven days a week and i it's not an exaggeration to say that we did that for three straight years as i said ari is a machine yeah like machine machine so it's like i spent a week like laying on the floor doing just like people check for a pulse like hey you're good you're good i'm like i just need a minute i just need a minute i think i'm thinking i'm thinking right now yeah and what happened was I actually did everything but real estate

for the first like six months. I was importing cashmere from Nepal and didn't like cashmere. I was raising a tech fund and like, couldn't stand SAS. I tried to do e-commerce, but like, I didn't like being on the computer all day. Yeah. So there was all these things that I tried to do. And I realized what I was doing was I was just trying to give myself a break from real estate yeah and then after a while it's like oh wait I'm doing really good at real estate and I've always loved real estate I just need to take a second away from it to realize it that's when I started my single family home investment company and then all we did was buy single and I said what did I did is took took a note from all my private equity days with ari and ari's all commercial real estate too by the way yeah and now he's doing big more he's doing big master

plan communities that include single family homes and you know building building out 300 plus acres but he's all commercial right is he building those homes or is he sub dividing the lots and letting other builders come in and just take plots? You know, I'll check with him, but I believe he's doing both. OK. Right. Because, you know, he donated some land to the city for them to build a school. He's building an elementary school.

It's going to be apartments on there as well. Everything you can think of. Right. Multiple asset classes. That's just one project. Right. Then he has office buildings, he has industrial parks, he has high rises. So it's like, there's so many different facets of

what he's doing, right? And I kind of took a piece from that and I said, okay, single family homes, what's the best way to raise money? Because now I understand private equity and capital raising. I'm like, okay, so the best way to do that is to build a track record. Best one, easiest way to do that is through single family, because I have such a low barrier entry you can get into a single family home for fifty to a hundred thousand dollars right when you need a couple million dollars to get into a multi-family home and you can recycle that money in three to six months you know so from 2020 to now it's like we bought and sold over 50 homes and that was the best way to build the track record to go on a bigger race. And I

learned all that through Aria. And then Aria actually invested in some of the season, about six deals that we're doing right now. Are you, so are you doing a, are you doing a fund? Is that what you're doing? I mean, are you raising big capital to try to take down a lot and hold, or are you still just flipping? At the moment we're going to, at the moment we're just doing friends and family and we're doing one-off deals, we're going we're leaning into a fine guess who i call every time i need advice on anything yeah you call ari because once you spend three years yeah it's on speed dial now five four five funds later and you know the way that he's he operates is he's got the best team and he's got third party fund administrators like he saw so many people in his industry taking advantage of their investors

and realized wow like that is the absolute worst thing you can do yeah so he's full fiduciary in his company like has actual third-party fund administrators who he doesn't touch the money yeah money goes to like a third party kind of like when you buy a house and you send the money to escrow sure so it's it's like i'm learning so many different things from him on, on not only like how to be a man, how to run a business correctly as well. Right. So it's like everything from how to run a business to like being a man and, you know, help me be, learn to be a good father because, you know, I was around him and his kids and saw the way that he treated his kids. So like invaluable lessons, lessons john like i can't

who else is going to teach you all that other stuff like you have your family but you're you never really you listen to your family but you you know you always need somebody else to tell you something everything that your father told you growing up yeah i know you're like yeah i you're like that's the worst when you figure out what your father was telling you was actually accurate. You're like, damn it. I knew it. She listened a long time ago, but there you go. Yeah, of course. It's like, there's also a quote where Ari told me, he's like, when you're 18 years old, you're like, wow, my father knows nothing.

But like in seven years from now, it's like amazing how much he learned. Yeah. Like your father learned in seven years. It was funny. Everything he said, it was actually true i know me girl me growing up i was always like you know my father was an attorney so it was like uh you know my buddy his dad and like the hardware store so like we wanted to build a fort you go get hardware and i'll be like this sucks i never get anything because my dad's a stupid attorney my buddy you know you're just kids dad owns the domino's pizza they get free pizza this sucks my dad gets dumb until i got started in business and I was like, holy shit,

I now have free legal advice whenever I need it. Worth way more than the Domino's pizza. Way more than the Domino's pizza. And I miss my father's been passed for several years now. I do miss my father. I also miss my legal advice a lot. I miss that a lot. Because now. I do miss my father-in-law. I also miss my, I miss my legal advice a lot. I miss that a lot because now that I pay for it, it's through the nose and there you go. But what would you say was the best part of the, to wrap up the whole thing, man, what would you say was the best part of the whole experience that you went through, uh, from, from, from A to Z? What was the best part of it? The best part was, um, gaining a brother. I love that.

Truthfully, like it's, it's, um, it's gaining somebody who's going to be in my life for the rest of my life, who I'd do anything for and would do anything for me. I love that. I love that. And Shia, if they want to find you, connect with you more, want to invest in some houses with you, how do they find you, my man? Instagram, Shia Habibi. Shia habibi on the gram there it is well guys i hope you got a ton out of this today if you don't have a mentor i hope this inspired you today to go get one uh i hope

i think we got man that was like a tutorial today we laid out all the steps i thought it was really good shia thank you so much for being here man and. And you guys, man, tune in next week. We'll have somebody else amazing. I promise. See you next time. Thanks, John. What's up, everybody? Thanks for joining us for another episode of Escaping the Drift. Hope you got a bunch out of it, or at least as much as I did out of it. Anyway, if you want to learn more about the show, you can always go over to escapingthedrift.com. You can join our mailing list. But do me a favor, if you wouldn't mind, throw up that five-star review.

Give us a share. Do something, man. We're here for you. Hopefully, you'll be here for us. But anyway, in the meantime, we will see you at the next episode.