Escaping the Drift with John Gafford - #95: Cracking the Code: Building an Incredible Vegas Social Network

Episode Date: December 19, 2023

On this episode of Escaping The Drift, host John Gafford interviews social skills coach Michael Sartain. Michael shares how he went from being an awkward teen to becoming the go-to guy in Las Vegas.He details how he used evolutionary psychology principles like mate choice copying and preselection to build an incredible social network.Michael also talks about his experiences working in the military and nightlife industry.Listeners will learn Michael's unique perspective on dating, networking, marketing and building high-performing teams through the lens of evolutionary psychology.Don't miss this brand new episode of Escaping The Drift!Highlights:"There is a science to it. It's not people think all It's just luck. No, you just you learn from the right people.""I would never show up to Dan Bilzerian party without 60 Girls, I would be embarrassed.""When I talked to the girls that bikini competition, and they loved it. And the in the crazy thing is the people who organized the competition were like, I understand why he's different."Timestamps:00:00: Introduction06:06: The Evolution Of Nighlife12:51: Treating Women With Respect16:33: Pre Selection24:20: Networking27:15: Dating Apps30:36: Vegas40:24:Sexual Desires 47:12: Gender Roles57:29: Social Media

You know what's so funny about that, dude, is because in another life for me as well, I was a pretty high-ranking officer in the Hooters of America company. Yes, the Hooters of America. And even when I was at the store level as a GM, when I was at that level, I would meet guys and they'd be like, dude, you're so lucky, man. You got the best job in the world. And I'm like, okay, you want to know what it's like to be me? And they'd be like, what? I'm like, okay, go right to your hometown in your head.

They're like, yeah. And I'm like, okay, remember that girl, the one prom queen, remember her, remember her? Yeah. All right. Now multiply her by 50 and I'll tell her no all day. That's what I do for a living. You really want that job? And how many people thought you just had the best job in the world? And you're like, bro, you have no clue. It's, it's, it's so like leading a group of very qualified, like my company out men of action, we only hire the best. We had 800 people apply to do sales for us and we've hired 1% of them. And the guys we have are super a players. I mean, this is Delta force Navy seal level, highest quality individuals that come and work for us. And then working in the strip club, it was like nothing, none of that. There was no qualifications. You're dealing with someone who has like no level of responsibility and no one's

ever told them no before. And now escaping the drift, the show designed to get you from where you are to where you want to be. I'm John Gafford, and I have a knack for getting extraordinary achievers to drop their secrets to help you on a path to greatness. So stop drifting along, escape the drift, and it's time to start right now. Back again, back again, back again. Man, it seems like I say this every week, but we're just booking the best guests, man. We're booking people that can just pour into you knowledge that is just going to alter the way that you think and change the way that, man, you just operate. And this next guy got in the studio today. This cat. You know, there's that one dude in every town where you live.

There's this dude. And you're like, every time you turn around, this is the dude that just walks by the bouncers into the club. This is the dude that hosts every big event. He's the guy, right? He's just the dude. And I got to tell you, I'm not talking about Topeka, Kansas. I'm talking about Las Vegas.

And to be that dude in this town,'s some science behind it you just don't accidentally become that guy and this guy has cracked that code he has delivered that science he can tell you and teach you how to build an incredible social network he is the founder of the men men of action coaching program las vegas zone what's up michael sartain how are you buddy what's going on man it's funny you say that there is a science there is a science it just it literally is a science it's not like just a charisma thing there is an actual the guys who you know that go by the bouncer that the guys who have the huge events the guys who show up to a you know an event with 30 40 girls the guys

who get invited on stage to do different things, ignite or expire, or what's it called? The elevator nights or TEDx talks about there is a science to it. It's not people think, oh, it's just luck. No, it's just you learn from the right people and then you get there yourself. Well, let's back up, dude, because obviously all the high producers we have in high achievers, we have, you know, to come through the studio studio here i always like to start back with what made you you because i'm always curious so let's get back to like is it nature is it nurture tell me about young michael sartain uh i was i would say i was you know really awkward in junior high and high school i was strong enough to play like offensive line in football and i was pretty good at that but i was uh i was always really uncoordinated i got made

fun of a lot in uh junior high and high school, went to college. And when I went there at UT Austin, I had a great time. I love it. I'm a Longhorn to, hopefully we'll win the national championship here in a couple of weeks.

Jesus. But I'm a Longhorn through and through. And when I was there- Can I stop you for a second? Do you feel the right teams got placed in the Final Four? It's funny. Let's have this conversation. So it's a paper, rock, scissors situation.

You can't have Alabama without having Texas. It's not possible because Texas beat Alabama. Yes. Texas is in a Power Five conference and won their championship, and Alabama did too. I agree with Texas. Yeah. I agree with Texas.

You don't agree with Alabama? No. But the problem is they won a Power Five conference. Florida State was undefe Texas. Yeah. I agree with Texas. You don't agree with Alabama? No. But the problem is they won a Power Five conference. Florida State was undefeated in a Power Five conference. Right, but their strength of schedule was so much less than the other four. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. Okay, because I'm going to say this.

Listen, first of all, let me- You think Florida State should have been instead of Alabama? Without question. While I understand what you're saying, there's also a lot lot of money involved and that game would have been 49 to nothing like florida state playing anyone did you watch florida state versus louisville that was embarrassing they look like a high school okay like like army has a better offense no no no stop stop stop stop because you're missing a point yes i watched the game because i've watched every florida state game since i was five years old yeah so yes So yes, I did see the game.

And the point is, that was a third string quarterback making his first start as a freshman that will not play. So you're saying in the bowl game, they get their second string quarterback. In the bowl game, you get a bat. Yeah, he was in concussion protocol. He doesn't have a broken leg. Yeah. Right? Absolutely not.

And you know what else I saw? I saw a defense that after your starting quarterback went out, gave up 1.3 points per quarter for the rest of the season. Yeah, no, defense is awesome. So do I think it's going to be 49-0 against them? Absolutely not. I think Florida State versus Georgia right now would be 49-0. We're going to find out. We're going to find out.

We're going to find out. Yeah, we will. We're going to find out. I think it's a great thing. I thought that the committee wanted to leave Texas out. No, no, no. But they couldn't. It was so inconvenient. They wanted to leave Texas out out but they couldn't because texas beat out 100

they like the problem is anyway espn was going to have their sec school and it's what they're that's my point yeah exactly like understand you have to these people do you and i make money for a living at some point our guests have to provide some kind of value either because they're interesting or they have a following or whatever there is a money component when we're dealing with massive amounts of money i just don't know that florida state would have been as competitive as these i just would not have liked florida state versus michigan but as a kid that grew up playing the game of course what do you tell those kids like what are you terrible tell them to play don't play a tougher schedule that's what i would tell them to do. What are you talking about? They played two SEC schools, including the Heisman Trophy winner,

and made him look like a fucking joke. A lot of people made him look like a joke, though. To be fair, LSU looked like a joke a couple times. Right. But anyway, yeah, what else do you want them to do? Their non-conference schedule, they played no FCS school. Yeah, for sure. None of them.

They were all FBS schools. They played Georgia. I'm sorry, they played LSU in a non-home game. There's a precedent for this. Do you remember the NCAA tournament for basketball? Kenyon Martin, he hurts himself

right before Cincinnati is supposed to go. They take him away from a one seed and make him a three seed. You remember that? That wasn't an undefeated team and they still got a chance to play. I'm just saying, the precedent was money the precedent was 100 which is nonsense and terrible and i find it really funny they just announced that uh college game day is going to go because florida state is kicking off the season next year in ireland against wake forest that's beautiful and game day is going to show up it's going to be it'll be unbroadcastable yes they'll

be so drunk no the fans behind them getting on getting on herb street it's going to be, it'll be unbroadcastable. Yes. They'll be so drunk. No, the fans behind them getting on, getting on herb street. It's going to be on the watch. How about Lee Corso falling? Like probably. I mean, what did the overrunner leave and makes it to next year? But anyway, let's get back to what we're talking about. So you're a guy that maybe, maybe you didn't have, you weren't the guy in high school. So, so here's the thing.

Last year. So senior in college. Yeah. You know, it's really weird. So you guys have to understand before 05 the world is different you remember because there was no myspace or facebook before the world was different in fact before 04 there was no text messaging or hdtv or bottle service we didn't have nightclub where girls had sparklers people forget me and my friends were trying to remember when did bottle service start We didn't have nightclub bottles where girls had sparklers. People forget. Me and my friends were trying to remember when did bottle service start? And we couldn't remember. Now,

in Europe, it had started far before it started in the US, but it started kind of the 03, 04 time period with some clubs in New York. I think Jason Strauss had something to do with it. And then it started taking off around the country where you could sell a bottle that would cost you $50 for $2,600. And then you would make the, all of that was a markup. Okay. Cause no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Cause I, I was the operating, I ran, uh, what was deemed by Esquire magazine, the number one nightclub on the East coast, United States. Okay. And that was cobalt lounge, uh, before lewis had his mishap during yes yeah 2000 right and we were at that point yeah you know what i think you're probably right because i'm i want to say that we were

selling bottles but we weren't what we would do is when on sunday nights when jim rain dupree would have his party we would auction off we would auction off bottles yes of of uh not the how am i thinking of uh shit crystal crystal, but way before I said we would auction off the crystal. So yeah, you're right. We didn't have, we didn't have it then. Yeah. Because, because some, some bright guy realized what we're selling is real estate. What we're not selling is actually the bottle where the bottle is the ticket to the real estate, but the real estate is the dance floor table. And when that happened, everything changed. It was a comma. I'm telling you right now, when we go back and look back at this time period, 50 years from now, it is going to be text

messaging, the iPhone, it's going to be bottle service and social media. Those things changed the dating lifestyle, social construct, changed the entire social construct of the country. It's partially to do with the increased divorce rate. It has to do with people cheating. It has to do with the fact that six out of 1000 women are getting married now. It, everything goes back to those things I just mentioned. And it's, it's just Matt social media, obviously more social media would be 75% of it all by itself, but it's such a massive amount of stimulus. And we go back to what I was saying. I started DJ. I started DJing at a strip club in 2000. And when I was there, this was the first time that I actually saw the difference between,

uh, it was one of these situations where every man goes through this. Sure. This is what women are telling me. And then this is what women are doing and being in the locker room. You literally got to see behind the curtain, be in the locker room at a strip club. And these girls were like my friends, like my money depended on them being happy, them showing up on time. It was not, there was no sexual flirting. It was a very much a biz. I was an offensive coordinator. That's the best way to DJ at a strip club is an offensive coordinator. It's the best way to describe it. And I did this for four years and then, then they may, I had a, you know, at a, uh, a business degree. So they made me the manager of the club at one point I was one of the managers. And in, from there I learned what, like, like what, um,

massive difference in leadership. I know it sounds crazy cause I'm talking about strippers, but like you're seeing some of the worst worst most irresponsible humans you've ever met and trying to motivate them is fucking hard you know in the marine corps if you're like they take the guy who's the most irresponsible and they make him the squadron leader sure yeah it's one of those kind of things and it was it was like you're just kind of learning these these things 9-11 happens while i'm i'm there from 01 to 04 where where was this this This was Austin, Texas. It's called the Red Rose now. It used to be called Exposé when I worked there. And then I worked at Palazzo, and then I worked at Sugars in Austin.

And then I watched 9-11 happen, and I knew immediately I was going to join the military. I just saw it as soon as the towers came down. Real quick, real quick. You know what's so funny about that, dude? Because in another life for me as well, I was a pretty high ranking, a pretty high ranking officer in the Hooters of America. Yes. Hooters of America. And, and, and even when I was at the store level is, is a GM. And I was at that level, like I would meet guys, they'd be like, dude, you're so lucky, man. You got the best job in the world. And I'm

like, okay, you want to know what it's like to be me? And they'd like, what? I'm like, okay, go right to your hometown in your head. They're like, yeah. And I'm like, okay, you want to know what it's like to be me? And they'd like, what? I'm like, okay, go right to your hometown in your head. They're like, yeah. And I'm like, okay, remember that girl, the one prom queen, remember her, remember her. All right. Now multiply her by 50 and I'll tell her no all day. That's what I do for a living. You really want that job. And how many people thought you just had the best job in the world? And you're like, bro, you have no clue. It's it's, it's so like leading a group of very qualified, like my company now, Men of Action, we only hire the best.

We had 800 people apply to do sales for us and we've hired 1% of them. And the guys we have are super A players. I mean, this is Delta Force, Navy SEAL level, highest quality individuals that come and work for us. And then working in the strip club, it was like none of that. There was no qualifications.

You're dealing with someone who has like no level of responsibility and no one's ever told them no before and so it also when you go back to hooters we're talking about hooters 20 years ago there's 20 years ago it's very different from hooters now oh dude it was like a fraternity no this was 30 years yeah hooters 30 so here's another thing remember hooters 30 years ago there's no social media when hooters so you guys will not believe me when i say this but john will attest to this when hooters, some of you guys will not believe me when I say this, but John will attest to this. When Hooters first opened the hottest girls in your city worked at Hooters, all of them, all of them there because people were not strip clubs were still considered to be seedy back then in the nineties. Uh, nobody, there was no social media and girls were like, uh, in, in Nike, we

didn't have bottle service at nightclubs. So you didn't have a bottle service waitress making 200 K a year back then. So the best gig you could making 200k a year back then so the best gig you could get there was no only fans the best gig you could get was to work at hooters yeah once those other things started coming like once strip clubs started turning into steakhouses and like pseudo nightclubs and once social media came out uh and then once girls started to be able to make money as influencers online then then hooters just like they do not have the hottest girls not even close now and that's that's the hooters in 20 years yeah that's that's what happened but people don't believe me like dude the rhino before social media came out was insane i can only imagine bro dude before

i can't even describe to you like i remember the hundred hottest women i'd ever seen in my life and i've been to the playboy mansion several times yeah 75 of them worked at the rhino it was the crazy now it's not not to knock the rhino i love the rhino rhino still the best strip club in the world and sapphire probably one one in one a right there uh and and i will tell you right now like it's not like that anymore like there's all kinds of girls but back then it was just crazy anyway the point the point i'm trying to make is you know you start learning these things about dynamics i joined the military and then it's the complete opposite now i'm dealing with very responsible people i'm in a flying squadron i'm flying a casey kc-135 strato tanker as a navigator and i'm also i have a troop of men that work for me because i'm an officer and i uh and also become

i work start working in counterintelligence so i start doing all these things while i'm in the military and it's very structured for me and it's something that i needed i needed that level of structure so there's two opposites just imagine managing a strip club and then I'm an officer in the military. Yeah. Good luck. Right. So it's like, it's these two, I'm just being molded from two different sides, if that makes sense. Yeah. When I get out, I wanted to do something that was very not military-like. So I was going to move to LA and I was going to go work for a talent agency and I was going to try to book talent and I was going to try to act. I was going to do both of those things. I was going to acting classes, whatever. And I found out what most, a lot of people who live here in Las Vegas find out, which is Las Vegas, Los Angeles sucks.

It's a terrible place to live. They take all your money. The standard of living is low. The cost of living is high. The taxes are outrageous. There's homelessness and crime everywhere. It's whatever you guys think of LA, it's actually worse. It actually is. There's no pretty girls there. I know I'm going to say this and it's going to blow people's mind. The pretty girls live i know i'm gonna say this and it's gonna blow people's mind the pretty girls live in bel-air they live in anaheim they live in a like a few of them they live in temecula they do not live in hollywood a few of them yeah a couple there's some girls up in like maybe encino and noho but those are porn stars there's no hot girls in los angeles i know you guys are gonna think i'm full of shit and i'm telling you it Santa Monica. Yes, definitely. Santa Monica Palisades. Yes. Malibu tons of hot girls. Los Angeles is like Los Angeles is more dangerous than Baltimore. It is crazy how bad Los Angeles

is now. So I got, I got fed up with it. I'd say 2012 to 2014, I was doing the LA thing quit. And then I just full-time Las las las vegas and when i was here i started working with a nightlife like a event promoter yeah and it was great because i was like an intern for them and they helped me skip several levels so instead of going from like low level promoter which i was never a promoter but like those guys are kind of at the bottom of the barrel in a nightclub right well that's like john gray will tell you getting stuck to george's hip at the palms when they first there you go so you you understand yeah john's great john's great. John is John's dating my friend, Jamie. And like, I got to meet him for the first time in Dallas. He's great. He's in real estate now, uh, John. So,

so that, that kind of situation. So you're with these, I'm interning with these guys and they show me how to throw these events and I'm watching them do it. The problem is with them, the other promoters that I met and all the VIP hosts in the city is they treat women like cattle. They literally treat women like their currency and they treat them like cattle. And I just came up with this idea one day and I was like, I remember being in the strip club when I was working at the strip club. And there was this one day where one of the girls had her birthday party. And I was like, well, you know, I, I used to be, I used to be the head door guy at this one nightclub and the, all the staff went to another nightclub and it was the new hot new nightclub in Austin, Texas. This is Austin. Yeah. It's Austin, Texas. So this would

be, let's say 2002. And this is like Congress and sixth Avenue. So it goes Congress and sixth street. And so we go to this nightclub and I show up with 10 girls and they're all the strippers that work with me and they're there for a birthday party. And I remember just thinking, you know, I'm not trying to say I had a girlfriend at the time. I wasn't like trying to hook up with any of them. And I just remember women coming up and talking to me and like constantly the hottest girls that I didn't even know. I showed up with 10 girls and even more girls came up and like wanted to know who I was. And I was like, there's something here. I don't know what this is, but it seems like when I'm around a bunch of hot girls, more hot girls want to talk to me.

And I kept that thought for like 20 years. And then in 2015, I'm at a party with Tai Lopez. And this is the first time I ever met Tai. And me and Tai are good friends now. And Tai, he explains to me, he shows me his book list. And in his book list, there's this group of books by a guy named Dr. David M. Buss from the University of Texas at Austin. He has an undergrad from Harvard and a PhD from Berkeley. And I'm like, okay, I need to learn about, he teaches this thing called evolutionary psychology.

In evolutionary psychology, there's these two theories. One of them is called sexy son's hypothesis, which is the concept of if you see a man and that man, if a woman sees a man and that man has attractive traits, the woman wants to mate with him subconsciously, totally under the radar, subconsciously, covertly, not covertly, but subconsciously wants to mate with him because of our hypergamy algorithm and so that he she can get those genes in her children so her children will have more children and the second theory is called mate choice copying which is the concept of when women see men with a lot of women then they want to be around that man and we that's not just with homo sapiens that's with primates we've seen that with avian we've seen it with birds they've done it with geese well they've actually put in stuffed animal, female geese next to a male and the

other females want to hang out with them. They've done it with rodents. It seems to be something with like, like vertebrates. When females see a male surrounded by women, they want to be around them. And then we call it the, you know, the, the what's it called? The, uh, like you hear, you go see your favorite boy band. And then all of a sudden all the girls are screaming. Women are like turned on by hearing these other women scream for this individual. So I was like this concept of mate choice copying. I was like, what if this is a crazy idea? What if there was a way for me to get hundreds of girls to go to events with me, but I was never an asshole to them. I didn't have to act like a narcissist or a psychopath or anything like that. I didn't have to act like Machiavellian, but I just generated attraction by maintaining masculine

frame, maintaining my boundaries, and then having tons of pre-selection or what we refer to as mate choice copying. Would that work? That was a hypothesis I had in 2011 and I've tried it for the last 12 years. And I can tell you unequivocally, the answer is yes, you can absolutely generate massive amounts of attraction with women and actually get a lot of women to comply, to like do whatever you, uh, to, to go to the events that you want to help support your charity events, whatever you can get them to do that by, by using those ideas. And then, then I, then I started wondering like, well, let's stop, let's stop though. Cause you gotta get the first one. Yes. And I think there's probably a lot of people like, well, let's stop. Let's stop though. Cause you gotta get the first one. Yes. And I think there's probably a lot of people like, well, how do I get the first? I mean, yeah, it's what you roll up with a gaggle of 2020 women. Yeah. I get it. I get why people

think you're the man. Yes. How do I just get one? Beautiful. So the thing is what you'll find is a lot of guys who have trouble in this area of their life. They get friend zoned all the time. Yeah. Well, that actually you can use to your advantage. What you do in this area of their life they get friend zoned all the time yeah well that actually you can use to your advantage what you do in this case is like what they which what needs to be seen for pre-selection the woman doesn't actually have to be attracted she just has to show some level of compliance so you walking in with 20 girls you're not sleeping with all 20 girls unless you're dan balzerian yeah but no but like i talked to dan about this the other day and it's the same thing with him like he'll he'll walk in with 20 girls and he slept with six of them but but he didn't sleep with all 20. He'll tell me, he's like, I didn't sleep with all 20 of them, you know? Uh, but he'll, he'll, they'll walk in and he gets this high level of compliance. The first thing I recommend for guys to do is find six female friends that you friends own. You friends own them. Great reason is they're married. They might not be your type. I have a very, I like very much athletic builds with large fake boobs. Like that's very much my type. If a girl doesn't have that, like she's kind of skinny fat or, you know, she doesn't have fake boobs or whatever, then I'm not, I'm just not

attracted. Right. I put her right in the friend zone. And then now I invite 50 of those girls to something. I put them in the friend zone. They guess what they do. Three things. They make you very comfortable being around women. Okay. They get you into every single party you could ever want, and they introduce you to more women. Those three things happen. And then one of the other things I learned was, so I would go to these self-help conferences, and what do you see in there? Nothing but men. It's just men. So I started showing up to, I would go see Owen Cook speak, or I'd go see Tai Lopez speak, and I'd bring six girls with me. You know what, John? Everyone wanted to network with me. Everyone wanted to come and talk to me. The girls wanted to come

talk to me. Guys wanted to come talk to me. So I was like, wait a second. Maybe this preselection thing isn't just a cheat code with dating. Maybe it's also a cheat code when it comes to high status networking. I show up to Dan Fleischman's Model Citizen Fund. If I don't bring 60 girls, I'm embarrassed. I'm embarrassed. I would never show up to Dan Bilzerian's party without 60 girls. I would be embarrassed to do so. And the guys in my program, they feel the same way. They're like, hey, Michael, what happens if you're supposed to go to a party and you don't bring any girls? I was like, I wouldn't go.

Why would I ever go to a party that I didn't bring 60 girls to? The party's awesome because I'm there. The best team in the NBA is the one where Prime LeBron was on it. The best party in the city is the one that I'm going to. That's the way I would look at it. So I started looking at all these different things. So now here, here we were using pre-selection in order for like intersexual dynamics with men and women to dating. Then we started using it for networking. That's pretty cool. How crazy is that? And then here's the third thing that was crazy when it came to sales and marketing, it was the same exact formula. It was the same exact formula when it

came to like not needing it too much. Uh, absolute certainty, absolute certainty is something that, uh, Jordan Belfort teaches chapter seven of his book, uh, way of the wolf and absolute certainty is a great way to talk to a woman. Sometimes when you're on a date, like, it's so funny, like at the highest levels, you started seeing marketing, networking, uh, marketing, networking, and dating. We're all, you're doing the same things because it's like goal oriented or persuasive level of communication. And so I'm like, man, this, all this crazy stuff, there must be science to back this up. And so we found scientific studies to back up some of these things. Dr. David buses, 37 culture of like, uh, he, he looks at 37 different cultures and he

finds, for instance, this stuff is going to be obvious to you, but like in every culture, men are more interested in casual sex than women in every culture. Women tend to want men the same height or are taller than them. And every culture, women are more interested in men procuring resources in every culture. Men are more concerned with a woman's body count than the other way around. And every culture, men are more concerned with hip to waist ratio, signs of youth and facial symmetry than men are, than women are towards men. And so you find out these things are not cultural, they're actually genetic. And so we just take all the science, we put it into this program. I've had 800 guys go through the program right now, just almost 100% satisfaction. The guys come out of there knowing a very fundamental

understanding of how to network, how to be a leader. Remember all the stuff I learned from the U.S. military? I make them go through like a Marine Corps, U.S. military, U.S. Air Force protocol of books that they have to read about leadership. You guys, you want to know the number. What's the number one book in that protocol? To me, I like either Can't Hurt Me or Extreme Ownership. Those are my two favorite. Can't Hurt Me by David Goggins or Extreme. Can't H hurt me is more of a motivation, but it's not motivation. Like

it's obsession book. Extreme ownership is one of the greatest books ever written. Okay. And then the other, the third one is gates of fire. That one is incredible. It's about the battle of Thermopylae between King Leonidas and King Xerxes. That is, that is a great book. And the thing, the reason why people don't grasp what I'm saying is read that book. I'll put it down. It's fantastic. It's required reading for the U S Marine Corps. And so what happens is, uh, you know, you, you, you do all these things and you start using the, you start looking for scientific proof and you start looking for experience and you start to see that all these people are doing like you. So again, networking, it works like this. And then we look at marketing and then we look at sales and we look at dating and we say, OK, these are very, very common things that are working. And then you start saying, well, anything that exists that's pervasive amongst homo sapiens has to exist somewhere in evolution. Remember, we're studying evolutionary psychology. And so when you go back and you look at that, you start to wonder, like, what was it that our ancestors needed these things for? And that's where I came like with a later theory for me,

which is the concept that the ultimate goal or the highest, the apex for the performance of mankind is men accomplishing goals together. Does that make sense? Sure. Us working together to do this podcast or build a skyscraper or put a man on the moon or whatever. Those are the things men working in concert with each other for a military engagement or to build a car or

whatever. I think that is the apex of the human experience is for humans to do that. And then along with having a family, I think that's the other part of the apex experience. But those things, because why? Because that's what our ancestors did in order to survive. There's a reason Homo habilis, Homo australis, Homo neanderthalis, there's a reason why they don't exist and we do. It's because we as Homo sapiens figured out how to work in groups in order to accomplish goals. And so then that became part of my program too. So it's leadership, it's teamwork, it's networking, it's dating, it's all those kinds of things. The tribe mentality is so important in all aspects of not just society, but even business. If you look at like traction, which is

the US system, which we've run all our on Yeah, the big founding principle of the US system is that everybody in the company understands the goals everybody's just the same way So it's it's that shared accomplishment that you have within that tribe mentality. It's important. So I see that But here's the other thing if you want 70 or 80 girls to show up somewhere It's the same actual it's actually the same thing. Like, it's funny. I was a captain on my football team and I was, uh, you know, like sometime mission commander on a, on a mission. And then I was also the, I host, I didn't mention this before. I've hosted about 50 bikini competitions so far. I host the three biggest ones in Las Vegas. And I host the three biggest in the world, which is wet Republic's, um, girls of summer, the paradise challenge in Jamaica, and then the swimsuit USA's world championship in Cancun. Those are the three biggest in the world which is wet republics um girls of summer the paradise challenge

in jamaica and then the swimsuit usa's world championship in cancun those are the three biggest bikini competitions in the world so i host all i'm the i'm the mc like the ryan seacrest exactly but but you want to know something when i talk to the other defensive linemen and i try to hype them up before we went to out to play football it's the same voice tenor in pitch and like ray lewis right before the game starts you know i'm saying no tool should be formed against us and he's like pushing guys it was the same thing when i talked to the girls at the bikini competition and they loved it and the crazy thing is the people who organized the competition were like i understand why he's

different and the girls never questioned anything i did they showed up on stage they were always on time and it was really one of these things where i didn't treat them like kids i treated them like fucking military like ncos because you just said something i think is important because you said the reason you had success in that arena with those things or the reason the promoters come back to you is because they see that you're unique yeah how do you form uniqueness of individuals when they're running through your programs how do you like for example like i just it's so funny i'm not comparing you to this but it's just the thought that i had when you were coming on which is uh neil strauss's book the game about that lunatic guy mystery

i'm interviewing mystery in like three weeks awesome there you go so so but if you remember he had that show on vh1 which was super fucking captivating like it was just fascinating who the guy who won the first season he he comes here all the time. I talked to him about a month ago. But it was just fascinating to watch that, right? But it seemed to me that through that program of what they were trying to do, he was trying to spin off like clones.

And you just said how important it is to be unique and have individuality. So how do you continue to establish that through what you do, through teaching these guys the skills, but finding their own way to get there? Do you understand, like, so the top, like like 17 of the male population makes more than a hundred thousand dollars a year i love this i love when you did this to those girls on your podcast yeah the top

one percent is i think 640 000 somewhere between 540 and 600 000 i think is the top one percent of wage earners i think being successful makes you unique because very few people are number one. And I also think that as a man, not doing the, like either, like either men are too much or too little, they're too meek and they get put in the friend zone or they're creepy as fuck. And there's this, there's this thing where it's like, you've clearly and totally understand how to communicate with women and understate female nature without being more female. Like meaning you may like i you know what i do with my girlfriend yesterday we watch football we watch a ton i watch highlights

every single because i still maintain boundaries of masculinity even though i understand how to speak to a woman that to me is like the that's the ultimate form so like kind of understanding that if you were a man and did that you are unique unique. So few men know that. And John, it's getting worse because of social media. You worked for Hooters of America. You were around women. You were within four feet of them having conversations with them. After a while of seeing really nice boobs, you get used to it and it doesn't affect you anymore. After the hundred or five hundredth time. The men today don't do that. They see doctored photographs on social media that make them believe that all women look like this, and then they get their dopamine hits through pornography that they can get unlimited amounts of for free. And women, you know, the other side for women is the concept that they can go on dating apps

and left swipe 6,000 times for every one right swipe, for every date they go on, they'll left swipe 6,000 times. Is that the swipe for every date they go on. They'll left swipe 6,000 times. Women are going on dating apps right now and have no intention of dating. They just get tons of attention. And the women start getting this idea that every time I left swipe on a guy, I'm better than him. And he, she also assumes that if I wanted to, I could make that guy. I just left swiped, commit to me and have a monogamous relationship with me, which of course you and I know is absurd. All those dudes on that dating app are looking for short-term sexual access to you. And so, and if you're a man and you go on one of those dating

platforms, it's six guys to every girl. And every time you see a woman who's attractive, she's either a prostitute, she's trying to sell, she's trying to get you down her only fans funnel, or she has some sort of mental disorder. And that's like essentially what you're dealing with and that's why like these things are have become so pervasive where men are delusional when it comes to OnlyFans pornography and then how they how they view women and women are like massively delusional when it comes to this concept of like they think the average man makes a hundred thousand dollars a year they think the average man is a six feet tall no no because you because you said on here you said you said uh you had a group of girls on his podcast which you should check out it's pretty cool and uh in a group of girls and he said what's your

ideal guy these were younger these were younger women yeah and they were like you know six four makes over a hundred thousand dollars a year blah blah blah and then give them the stats you gave yeah so six foot three you're in the top one percent of height like six foot three okay so a hundred thousand dollars a year that's the top 17 so ladies who are watching this it's not 17 plus one percent it's 17 percent times one percent that's how you get the six four guy who makes a hundred thousand dollars a year now if you want the six four guy who's a male stripper he's not making a hundred thousand dollars a year most of them aren't sorry and and if they do make a hundred thousand dollars a year it's because they're gay for pay like it's it's great but like but he's six

four and handsome so you kind of got what you wanted and then if you want the guy who makes 500 like girls don't understand like when you see a lambo like just say a lambo is just say we're 260 to 400k whatever whatever you're going that to be, unless this guy's a complete moron or he's selling crack, he needs to, he needs to, that needs to not be more than what? 10% of his network, bro. If you, if you're buying a Lambo and it's 50% of your network for it twice, don't bro. If you, if you're buying a Lambo and by the way, most of the guys aren't, but if you buy a Lambo and it's more than 10 7 of your net worth you're a fucking moron like for doing that's crazy like and by the way let me tell you something

else if you buy a lambo the only reason i would ever do it is for content if i was using it for content and i could write off depreciation on the lamborghini i would make it part i'd make my llc own that lamborghini i would write off everything on that fucking thing that then i would own a lambo then i would do it okay and then I'd probably lease it and trade it in for another one. Like a couple of years later, I would make it work for me. Smart. Like listen to Ryan Stumann. He's so great when he talks about this stuff. Ryan Stumann is so smart when it comes to this stuff. Yeah. Um, and so, so like, that's, that's why you would do that. So, you know, I forgot what the original point was, what we were going, I got off on the road. I don't know. We're just talking

to random stuff. The point I was going to make you you were going so fast at it which is how grateful i am that none of those dating apps oh yeah yeah yeah i know that's that's dude when i met my wife yes when i met my wife we were on myspace and i would hit her up on aol instant that's the way that's where we were at i remember what i was talking about before. So it's 17% times 1% if you want six, four and makes a hundred a year. And so, and then, but here's, here's the other part. The girls are like, no, but I've dated guys like that. And I always ask him, but did you lock him down? He goes, yeah, but we were engaged. Yeah. But did he marry you? Yeah. Did he cheat? Was he talking to other girls? He's like, yeah, but he was gonna marry me. And I'm like, but he, did he marry you? And like, whenever you talk to a girl who's been engaged five times, you ever met some

of those girls? It's super pretty. I got, I got a couple of them in my circle. Yeah. They've been engaged five times and they like think it's normal and they don't recognize what you and I clearly know, which is no, these guys wanted short-term sexual access, but the girl was really attractive. And so they were going to say or do anything they could in order to get married, but they

were never going to marry these girls. And like, it takes until the women are like in their mid thirties or forties before they come to that realization. talk about a lot yeah is it's like if you're in vegas is like a vacuum like you gotta go like if you're if you're a woman in this town yeah this is coming from like don't call me don't call me a sexist people don't save your save your shitty comments this my wife says this stuff but if you're if you're in vegas if you don't wrap a dude down pretty quick that's in that upper echelon you're gonna age out quick yeah i mean i actually think because a lot of these girls are like i want this guy that makes all this money blah blah blah yeah but now he's he's got peter pan syndrome and he's skipped down he's after the 24 year old he's not

after the 34 yeah it's it's it's not fair here no here it's like i do nothing and i was dating hotter girls than i'd ever dating you know whatever going to a club on stage and whatever happens partying with the hotter girls than i'd ever been with my entire life and it was there's so many more women than men here it's like it's the opposite the dating app is six times as many dudes as women like like nightlife industry in vegas it's six times as many women as men it's hard it's just so easy and like it was one of these so going back to what you're saying but what we're talking about before these women would find out that it was like one, you know, like six tenths of 1% of men met their criteria for six, three and a hundred K. And then we would

look at the women. And of course, as men, we do not care about income or height. That's really big because we don't care about an income and we don't care about height. So it was 14% of the female population versus 0.6% of the male population. And these women that they were going to lock these dudes down and to go back to what you said in LA, I think it's different. I actually like in LA women get treated pretty well. And dudes get treated like trash in Vegas. It's the opposite.

Men get treated very well here. If you're a local and you go out on a regular basis, he's like, you get comps all the time. It's like women actually get treated kind of like cattle here. And then especially like in a couple of weeks, we've got the, um, the tryouts for all the nightlife groups, 8,000 girls are going to show up for realistically, realistically. I'm not even kidding here. There will be 60, maybe 50 new cocktail servers hired in the entire city. And I'm talking about the top pools. Oh yeah. Each pool has 40 girls and most of the girls get called back. So a pool, an individual pool might hire anywhere from like seven to two girls per year. And so you add up

all the pools and then the pools kind of like sometimes feed into the nightclubs. We're talking about less than 60 girls, 8,000 girls will show up. 60 will get hired. For those of you listening to us from places, not Vegas. Yeah. It's easier to get in. I saw a study. It's easier to get into Yale or Harvard than it is to become a top tier bottle service girl in Las Vegas. Because those girls, in case you're just wondering, make a quarter of a million bucks a year. So two 50 to 60 is not uncommon. And work how many days a week? Three days, four days a week.

And then if you work at the pool, you make more per shift, but you only work eight months. Yeah. My wife, when we got together worked at the palms she opened the palms and she had the main blackjack pit from noon to eight monday through friday i was like a banker's hour shifts it's been a quarter of a million dollars and normally only worked three maybe four days she's not walking around in a bikini at a pool no she's working doing like gambling that's i mean you understand but still i mean no she's still at her ass hanging out i mean that's what kata but the thing is like

this we're glad of your outfit whenever it was the other thing that makes this city really crazy is that not only are there just so many more women than men i just i cannot fathom how any single man watching this doesn't live in vegas i literally cannot fathom how you live anywhere else i just don't understand but anyway going back to what i was saying yeah um the other thing that makes this city so disproportionate is the average man's job here whether it be construction vip host works and services he's gonna make somewhere between 60 and 100k and the women that are the the commiserate women are making 200k working as a rhino they're either a cocktail server and uh you know a dancer they work in in

gambling or you know they're a female bartender they're making 200k so a lot of times you'll have a woman who's making 240 a year dating a busser who's making 60 she's he's she's making 4x but his band's gonna take off any day michael any day day they're going to get signed. His only fan's management agency. This is going to be the idea. Any day. Did you hear about his new NFT, John? This NFT's the one. His Call of Duty team's going to get the call. Yes, for sure.

His eSports team. It's always like that. It's a very fun. If you ever have a former cocktail server on here, ask her about the trope of the cocktail server who makes $2.40 a year leaving her fucking plastic surgeon boyfriend to date the busser. I don't know how how but it keeps happening over and over again it's just so funny that it's just one of the tropes that happens here but it's just like there's a mismatch that goes back remember the original thing we talked about so but here's the problem though how long

how long okay look because if you're that type of financial disparity between the man and the woman look i i may look i'm all about whoever wants to bring money to the house god bless bring it but i also think that it it screws up the dichotomy of the relationship i think if you're the man i think it's got to burn you a little like i i just i can never imagine just like chilling at home and having what does it say in the bible it's like it is better to be a non-believer than to not be able to provide for your family. Yeah, dude. It seems like they had that figured out 3000 years ago. I retired my wife 11 years ago. There you go. I just can't even imagine. So it's one of these situations where it's absolutely, I encourage women want to work. That's fine. What they find is that in the workforce,

I don't know if you've seen this study, 83% of women said that they, if they had the opportunity to be a stay at home mother, they would have chosen 83%. Take that feminists. How do you like that? How does that one taste? And that's what, and that's what me and my wife did. Cause it was important to both of us that we, I call it the peanut butter and jelly mom. When I was growing up, like my, my mom worked and you know, my parents were split up, but you know, you had that one house in the neighborhood where there was like that one mom that would make peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for all the kids while they're playing football in the front yard. That's what we wanted my wife to be.

And that's what she wanted to do. For sure. It's been great for my kids. For sure. Super. And I wouldn't change it for the world. But so you have that you have that opportunity for some women to want to go do that. What they found, and this was first presented to me by Rolo Tomasi, he's one of my best friends.

He's my co-host partner on access Vegas. Uh, Rolo was saying something to the effect of the, one of the number one precipitators of divorce is when a woman starts making more money than a man. And so you're thinking about like, she gets promoted at her, at her law firm and she makes more money than him. That is a precipitator. But what, what he actually really means is the man loses his job. And so now she makes any money, even if she's a bus driver, she makes more money than he does. And so that's generally the precipitator of divorce. When you ask women, did you leave your man because he didn't have any money? They never say that's the reason they say, ready for it. We grew apart. We grew apart. That's essentially what they said because, because that's the thing. Like as men, we have to be open and honest about why we had

to fire. We have a thing called fired with cause, if we fire someone for no reason they can sue us yeah yeah yeah that right so we understand as men for us to terminate a relationship we need a clear understanding a legal understanding women don't need that women just break up in relationships and say we grew apart and they say he wasn't ambitious enough no he got fat and he didn't have a nice job and you worked in a place where you were surrounded by men who were better looking taller and made more money and you got tired of the shit he was saying so you fucking monkey branch to another dude and that's fine but for some reason women won't admit that that's what they're doing and that's fine that you're doing that evolution made it that way men want look at numbers of uh attractive young women and

they want to have sex with all those young women and And if they had the ability to, they'd all end up becoming Dan Bilzerian, not all of them, but a lot of them would become like somewhat something like that. There's another study where it's like the number of men who wish they had more sexual partners was like outrageously high. So there's a group of men that have a ton of sexual partners and then there's a group of men below them that don't, but wish they did. Right. For women, they asked, do you wish you had more sexual partners? And of course, most women to say, no, they don't wish they had more sexual partners. Right. It's much, much less. Okay. But do they mean that? Or do they, they just don't want to tell, they don't want to vocalize that because they get slut shamed. So the thing is when men are

definitely more interested in casual sex than women and they've done studies. So like one of the best studies I've ever seen is look at gay men in the Castro. There were men out there that were averaging 300 different partners per year, averaging. So like when you want to look at the male libido, completely unchecked, it looks like 300 partners a year. I don't care. I know girls who do porn and I know girls who escort and none of them want 300 partners in a year. None of them at most, they want four, maybe three. And they want the guys to be really good looking. And then on top of that, you know what else they want? They want attention from a hundred other men who they aren't sleeping with. That's what women, women generally want that. It just doesn't, women because of, you know, oxytocin release, they generally are not as

interested in casual sex. There's also a thing in evolutionary psychology called parental investment hypothesis, which is the concept which, which either, uh, which either one of the genders is more invested in raising the children. That gender is going to be the more selective. So there's a certain type of fish where the male fish hold the eggs and they, and the females fight for the male fish. There's also seahorses where this happens, but in most of them, it's obviously men competing with other men for women. And then you can tell the level of competition by the dimorphic difference between the two genders. So an elephant bull seals will literally murder

homicide one another in order to have access to all the females. And the male elephant bull seals are 10 times larger than the females. Same thing with gorillas. Gorillas are about six times. The males are six times bigger than the females with almost sapiens. We're about one or about 15 men are about 15% bigger than the women on average. We are uh and so because of that what that means is for the most part we competed but not to the same level that gorillas did does that make sense yeah and so you find out all this kind of stuff you look at your evolution you can see almost like how the programming worked and there's so many incredible answers john when you actually study evolution psychology there's so many answers to so many questions that we had does body count matter yes we know now that it

matters i want to talk about this because there's evolutionary stuff that's built into us but obviously with your program teaching guys one of the things that i found back in the day when i actually did have more game than parker brothers which was a long time ago now i'd be dude if my wife let me tomorrow i'd be like fucking i'd be uh, what's his name? I'd be like Ricky Bobby. Like, I don't know what to do with my hands. I don't know. What do I do? It's been, yeah, I'd be so confused, but I'd be like the cat, the inside cat that got out. That's what I'd be like. I don't know what to do. Exactly. That happens to my cats. Yeah. Right. So, but I always found back in the day, just to go back to your point, about a quarter of the guys in my program are what you just described. They've

gone through a divorce and then they don't know they're like this. So I always found back in the day my best way to compete was not to compete. Yeah. As a matter of fact, when I met my wife, I was out here visiting her. I was staying with her and we were at a shoot. What was the 40 duesuce we're 40 years at mandalay bay okay that's how long ago that was and uh she started talking to this guy that was obviously just her friend but just like talking to him for too long so i just left yes i just i'm not pouting not anything else i just left and she's like where are you i'm like i went to gamble yeah i'm like yeah i'll see you later i i like also the concept of having a ton of female friends because you get to see, you get to look behind the veil. Sure. And like, they'll literally show you, you'll see the nice text messages between them and a guy

and then they'll text some other guy. But like, when you see it, when you really see it, if you, guys, I'm telling you, have a female friend who's like a complete slut and like just watch how she behaves and it will just illuminate so much. Like you will be so or ruin your whole concept possibly yes but like you will it would literally just consider

keanu reeves like taking the thing out of his head and in the matrix and he's like what is this like that's the level of just like disillusionment you will understand anyway so so you if you have a female friend like that you'll start to see like what actually is going on. And it's so terrific when you see stuff like that. And I remember one time I had a friend named Kim and Kim was like that. She was very much like to test men, have several of them running at the same time. So Kim was not a good investment opportunity for me. So I was like, okay, Kim's a good friend.

And then also Kim had a bunch of super hot friends. So I was like, okay, Kim is a wing girl, good friend. Okay. So one time me and Kim went to anybody from Dallas, you know, about spoozies. Spoozies used to be this huge, it's still there now, but it's used to be the it place. Everyone went to spoozies. This is back like 2011, whatever. Kim legitimately had five guys that she met on dating apps, come meet her at foozies at the same time. And I'm like, I'm going to sit back and watch this five dudes show up. They're all competing for attention. There was one guy at the end of the bar named John. And I remember John was like, all right, cool. John got up and left and she started dating John and got engaged to John because John didn't play the game. The best way

when you're dealing with a game that not just a woman, but anyone puts you into is to not to play the game, to not adhere to the boundaries that they're trying to to to enforce on you and when you do that that just shows a higher level of status but i think even more it's to act it's to just not care sure not playing the game now there's a difference between not caring and then like levels of so there's there's some studies that show that uh women are attracted to uh what are what are called dark triad traits, which is Machiavellianism, sociopathy and narcissism test for that. Yeah. So what, what you'll find is women are mostly attracted to narcissism traits are not attracted as much to sociopathy traits. Um, and so what, what you'll, what you'll find is that what you just described having boundaries, a lot of men

see other men with boundaries and confused though. Again, I'm having a conversation with a girl. She tells me, I can't believe my boyfriend, He's a fucking asshole. He's such a narcissist. She'll throw that word out. And I'm like, I'm always kind of curious. So sometimes I'll go meet the guy and I'll talk to him and he'll be like, yeah, from the day one, I told her I wasn't going to be in a relationship with her. I told her I was going to see other people. I, you know, I hang out with her sometimes we have great sex. It's really cool. But I told her if she wants to see other people, she can. And I'm like, that dude's not a narcissist. He just had boundaries. That dude's not mean at all. Like I can't blame him for anything. And she keeps going back to him

and then blaming him for it. And I just remember like, watch, like seeing this happening over and over again and came to the realization. You don't have to be a narcissist. What you have to do though, is maintain masculine boundaries. And if you do that, that's fine. And your boundaries are up to you. You remember the whole Jonah Hill nonsense, right? Jonah Hill did nothing wrong. I'm going to say this again. Jonah Hill did nothing wrong. If anybody wants to debate me on this, you want to come on my show and get embarrassed. Jonah Hill did nothing wrong. Jonah Hill literally tells his girl, this is why he did nothing wrong. He says, I would prefer if you didn't do this, didn't do this, didn't do this.

Doesn't matter what he asked for. At the end, he said, I support you if this is what you need in your life. And I encourage you, you're a beautiful, successful woman, but this might not be for us. He gave her the opportunity to leave. And then he broke up with her. What he did was enforce boundaries. And if you want to say, well, he shouldn't be telling her to not wear a bikini, then you need to tell every Muslim, the 1 billion, 500 million Muslim men on this country,

on this planet, that they're all misogynist. Tell every Muslim that they're misogynist. Every Protestant that wants their wife to not walk around in a bikini. My girlfriend's a bikini competitor. I don't care that she's in a bikini. But some men have the opportunity, if they choose so, to have different around in a bikini. My girlfriend's a bikini competitor. I don't care that she's in a bikini, but some men have the opportunity if they choose so to have different boundaries in their relationship. Some guys let their wives sleep with other men. And some guys are like, I would prefer if you didn't wear that when we went out, you have the right to do that.

As long as the other person has the right to leave, you're not being controlling. You have the right to do that. And there's, there's just been this massive misinterpretation because here's one of the things. When you tell men that they can't have boundaries or when men do have boundaries that it's controlling, you don't allow men to lead and you don't allow men to be masculine. And they become less attractive to women and then women complain, where are all the good men?

You need to allow men to lead and to act in a masculine manner. And the entire world is trying to teach men to not do that thing to not be masculine are we starting to see the pendulum swing back a little bit right now i'm feeling it depends on what like if you were all of it if you were on that twitter space no no no all of it with andrew tate and elon musk the other day with alex jones then maybe but like for the rest of the world i don't know dude i'm saying because like look at bill ackerman right now as is is

not ackerman ackman is all over like the whole harvard and penn deal and all of that i think i think the pendulum of sanity is starting to swing can you can you give like some some context the harvard and penn thing i thought that was about the israel thing no it was it was but see here's the problem i i look at and this was one of the smartest things that i've seen anybody say in a long time and And Jordan Peterson said this, and he said it on Bill Maher's show. And what he said was the problem, in a nutshell, I'm going to paraphrase him, but he said the problem currently with our society, especially in universities, is everything. The kids are taught at a young age to view everything through a Marxist lens, meaning this, that there has to be power and powerless in every situation yes there has to be an aggressor and and a victim in every situation and the the powered must be evil

yes must be evil like well for instance there's the the just is always the side of the week the description for marx is uh the the the um communist manifesto there is the capital class and then there's the proletariat and the capital class is evil and cannot help but to be evil and knows nothing but evil and can do nothing else but evil. And the proletariat is always innocent. Yes. You're correct. And in doing so, there is no other way to define economies other than to do that. Another way to say it.

But I think part of that has become and how that ties back. Yes, it was about Israel. I was talking about that the the patriarchy that that has been that has been seeded which i think is the number one thing that has weakened men in this country is those views in in that that idea that it's wrong to be masculine it's wrong to to want to take charge as a man in your household yes so masculinity they taught they deem as toxic toxic masculine but the thing is is are there good masculinity or is it just straight to toxic so here's the thing yeah that's my point that's like like well the problem is masculinity has been used

for several things it was used in the 1980s i believe there was a it was some show it was like two homosexual men and they were using it to try to like talk about men who shamed other men for being gay as being toxically masculine and And then later on, psychologists used it for like violent offenders in prison, like I believe in the 1990s, but the term has a meaning, but the meaning is this, like the two things are mutually exclusive. You can be masculine or feminine, and then you can be toxic or non-toxic. If you're masculine and toxic, you want to put the words together and say toxic masculinity. Technically that's a thing, but the two words do not go together in and of themselves. And people try to make it like that is the case. So again, me setting boundaries for my relationship, hey, I would prefer it if you didn't wear this and didn't

go out at this time. That is a masculine boundary that I'm setting, but all masculinity is now considered toxic masculinity to a certain group of, instead of Marxists, I like to say egalitarian people or progressives. To them, all of it is toxic masculinity. They cannot come up with any term for anything that is masculine, that is not toxic. And so because of that, like you're saying, it's just name calling. It's anyone who doesn't agree with you on race politics is a racist. And any man who doesn't agree with a woman on anything is icky or creepy. It's one of these situations where it's a name that I can now call you to sort of try to defeat. It's, it's very, what was the, um, uh, anytime two people are

arguing and the first person to invoke Hitler or the Nazis lost the argument. Have you ever heard that? Yeah. Any of the first, but you're right. Yeah. The first person, because you had to go to the extreme, it's the same type of situation. I know whenever you say that what I'm saying is toxically masculine, I know. And deep down, you know, you've lost the, but you've lost the argument. You got nowhere to go. You got nowhere to go. So essentially that's, that's the way it works. Now are men, men who beat their wives, toxically masculine, they are toxic. I know homosexual men who've beaten their boyfriends. So there are feminine men who have acted toxic, have acted toxic. So those things are mutually exclusive. That's always the point that I've tried to make and trying to put them together is so damaging to men. And that's the thing.

One of the things is I've dealt, there's a group of evolutionary psychologists or they're, they're sex researchers. Um, and these guys are progressives and, um, they, they don't like this, this terminology of like, say women are delusional. If I say men are delusional, it's fine. If I say women are delusional, then it's a problem. And the reason why is because in academia, which tends to lean more progressive, men are a privileged class and women are a protected class. And so it doesn't make any difference. Do men suffer? Like if you were to do a, like I could show, um, there's statistics that show that as men are zeroed out, uh, financially after over the age of 40 and they're divorced, the likelihood of them taking their own lives is nine X, nine times higher.

Okay. So if I were to do a, let's say I would do a college course, why men suffer. It was like something like this. And I would go over men die from industrial accidents. More of their 80% of the victims of violent crime. And there are nine times as likely to take their own lives after they've been divorced. If I were to do this and also they 20% of divorces are initiated by men, 80% are initiated by women. If I were to say 97% of alimony is paid from men to women, all these different things. And I did a course at Harvard

called Why Are Men Suffering? We would have people boycotting. How dare you even pretend as if men suffer ever for any reason and the thing is do is it definitely hard for women it certainly is and there's plenty of of ways we can look at i i certainly i this is i go very much against the red pill um community on this i do think sexual assault is underreported i think i because i lived here for a long time and i've seen girls be sexually assaulted and the police don't take them seriously i think it's massively underreported uh whereas a lot of guys in this space think it's overreported. I don't think it is. I'll agree. I'll agree with you on that. Um, and by the way, but here's the problem because about 5% of women, about 6% of women who have borderline personality disorder, those are the

women who tend to falsely report sexual assault, the Amber Heard type of individual, they falsely report it. And because of them, they make it harder for everyone else. The whole situation with, uh, I believe her name was Nikkiy hill or something hill the woman who accused trevor bauer of uh of abusing her turns out none of it was true he's a he's a catcher he's a pitcher for the the dodgers couldn't play for two years turns out everything she said wasn't true he was totally acquitted of this and my whole thing is while that makes a lot of men angry to see a woman falsely accusing men of sexual assault, it should make women angry. If you're an advocate of a domestic abuse clinic and you see women falsely reporting

sexual assault, you understand they've degraded your ability to do work. Women should be more mad at the Trevor Bauer and more mad at the Johnny Depp situation. Women should be more upset than men are. But men are the ones who are more upset. I don't know. I think a lot of women were upset by that. I think they saw the value in that. This is such a high profile deal. Like if it ever happened, how it's going to damage my ability.

Correct. I just don't think the outrage was nearly enough from the women's side as it was for men. Men were like, this woman should go to jail. And women were like, you know, they all of a sudden they just kind of like deleted their previous tweets like that's all i saw from them right that one didn't age that well did it right so so that's the thing like i really do think we should hold everyone to account every news media organization that said trevor bauer was guilty or i think we should hold the dodgers the dodgers to account for suspending him if you're gonna talk about sports and that i think you're like the duke lacrosse deal man of

course duke lacrosse is another extreme example just so we're clear we're talking most women would never do that we're talking about less than five percent of women there's also the defensive tackle at baylor who lost his he wasn't drafted in the nfl because of false allegation the punter for i forgot if it's the chargers or the bills he ended up like uh almost doing like life in prison for something that turns out they found out through phone records. He wasn't even in the same zip code as where the accused action was. And the county sheriff like acquitted him or something, something to that effect. When we see situations like this, we're talking about maybe five or six percent of women who do this.

But the problem is it's so damaging for the women who are legitimately claiming sexual assault when these women are up here doing this falsely and crying wolf. It makes it harder for everyone. And so that's, that's essentially the problem, but I'm not the one who should be saying this. It should be women on here saying this ladies, when you falsely accuse someone of this crime, you're not just hurting yourself and you're not just destroying that man's reputation. You're destroying the entire movement. Well, let's, let's shift off to talk about something a little lighter as we're coming to the end of our time here. But I want to talk about this because something we haven't talked about yet, which I think is great because it is the season for charitable contributions and giving back, but you have really taken your system for building a great social

circle and adapted it into a charitable angle. And I love this. So let's talk about that. Yeah. So, so it's one of these things where I started getting involved with these influencer charities. So we would invite girls with large social media followings and we get them to use their platforms in order to get more people to come

and donate either money or toys, like if it was a toy drive or if we did an animal rescue supplies for animals. And it got to the point where we did so many of them. And I'm referring to Babes in Toyland, the Teatro Parties, the Model Citizen Fund, which is Dan Fleischman's event. All these things that were charitable, even Paradise Challenge in Jamaica, they help raise money for a school that's out there. In all these different places, they're helping raising

money for charities and they're using. So if you ever met like a very famous, you know, a very famous model, let's just say you met like a Lindsay Palus or an Emily Sears or something like that. If you're to meet them, it would for them to help promote a charity is very easy for them because they have a lot of eyeballs that are on them. Shiley Myers, CJ Sparks, someone like that. They have a lot of eyeballs on them and they can help that charity very easily with very little work. They have what I would consider a superpower. So we came to the idea of like, let's have these ladies use their superpower in order to, for good. And there's men with large followings that can do this too. Uh, Dan Bilzerian, he, you know, I think he brings a lot of awareness to men who are amputees.

He talks about it in his book. He would take groups of amputees that were military amputees, and he would try, he would take them out on these incredible like field trips and go shooting and do all kinds of fun stuff like that. Um, I think we should bring awareness to these things and having a large social media following allows you to be able to do that. So that's a superpower. But the thing is we did so many of these that I started noticing that my entire friend group, all the people I did business with and all the girls that I would date were people that came to these events with me, these charity events. And my life was just better. I was just around people who were smarter, wealthier, more successful, more honest, prettier, more like, like women that were prettier women that were just more accountable. And I just

found like, this is a better way to live my life rather than going to a nightclub and just like doing bottle service, but you're like bottle service and you're just watching dudes like try to force feed girls cocaine and go to the fucking after hours. And like, that's how they were trying to get laid. And I was like, uh, you know, I like seeing some of those DJs live. I really do enjoy nightclubs. I'm one of the few guys in my forties. I really still like going to nightclubs, but I also like realized that these charity events were just so much more productive. They were quieter. And like, I met so many people that ended up in couples that ended up getting in relationships from going to these charity galas, as opposed to like a nightclub. And so I just

started to kind of teach my guys, here's what we're going to do. We're going to find all the charities in our cities and we're going to support them. We're going to support them through social media. We're going to support them with our resources and we're going to support them by inviting a bunch of influencers to those charity events. And that's part of the very beginning of the first 15% of men of action. That's what I teach you is how to do that. And then eventually you throw your own events. I don't recommend anybody throw their own events until after the first six months. But I go over step-by-step how to do that. It's phase seven in my course is called event planning. And we go over that and we go over invites and how to do different things as far as getting

groups of people there. The other thing that I'm a really big proponent of is ratio. If we were going to a real estate event and we have two to go through, it's like a real estate conference here. We're going to go to the, like without even thinking about it, John, we're going to go to the one where there's just more girls. We just are. We just know that so-and-so like Ryan Pineda is having his real estate event and there's just like three times as many girls as guys. We're just going to go to that event. Fucking Ryan. He's so handsome. Exactly. So dude, I mean, it's like, come on. Literally, somebody asked me.

I was at one of my mastermind groups in San Diego over the weekend, and I was talking to a guy who does business with Ryan, and he asked me, he just goes, what do you think about him? And I have the same canned response from Ryan every time. I go, I hate him. And he goes, what? Because everybody loves him, right? And I go, what do you mean? I go, oh, he's a wonderful guy, just too good looking.

Too good looking, exactly. It's not fair. Not fair he's that good looking., we don't consider ratio enough. So I started my friends who started doing real estate events where he just made, by the way, we're not talking about hot young girls. We're talking about just having as many women as men there or more women than men. It's like parties are more fun when there's women. I just don't think anyone disagrees with that. So just have more women. It's in my book that's coming out soon. I talk about seeing all the angles in one of the chapters. And when I was 20, I became the manager of a bar in Tallahassee. I was a partner there and

became a partner. And when I first got there, the bar was dead. These two guys brought me in to run it because they had no clue what they were doing. They had no business in a bar. And the first thing I noticed was all the people that work in there were always like girls, like hot girls. I'm like, you know what? No, no, no, no. So the first thing we did was fire all the girls. And I went around and hired a bunch of my fraternity brothers and a bunch of really good looking dudes on Florida state campus that worked at other bars. And guess what? The guys brought in girls who brought in guys cater. And I was like, look, I'm not saying we're going to do it. I'm not saying we're going to set up a sewing circle,

but every business I ever have from now on that it's based on hospitality will always cater to women over men. Oh man, dude. How about, how about, dude, have you ever seen the,

the, the, uh, you know, I'm friends with Demopolis, Steve Demopolis here. Have you seen the thing where his entire staff is on the billboard? And it's like three quarters female.

Have you seen it? I've seen like, like, like he is, if you go to Demopolis office, it's almost all females there right and it's not because it's just it's just fun guys masculinity with like men working with other men to accomplish goals is awesome it's really cool but like when you want there's a the place for having a lot of women around and it's fun now some men can't deal with that some men are just born misogynist so they've been hurt by women and they don't like this type of environment.

I think part of the reason why I'm so good at my job is because I enjoy the company of women as much as I enjoy the company of men. Sure. But I still like football more than figure skating. Right. And I still like, you know, so it's, it's a little different in that aspect. So what I continue to tell men all the time is have a large group of women that will go with you to events, but do not leave your masculine boundaries ever maintain masculine frames at all times. I don't mean like, Ooh, like big, tough, like gorilla, man. I'm not someone I'm talking about. I'm just saying, don't let your voice crack. Don't let your voice go up an octave when you're talking to women as opposed to men. Don't let your, uh, your tonality or your, um, what is your body language? Don't let any of those things change.

The dilation of your pupils, sweaty palms, whatever the tone of your speech or the subject matter that you talk about. Don't let that ever change. If you're with your guy friends, you're talking about, yeah, man, I went on this date with this girl. She was super hot. That's what I talk about with my girlfriends. It should be the same. You should be exactly the same consistently authentic. And when you do that that what happens is these women are like wow This guy is not giving me any preferential treatment because of my physical attractiveness I like attention from all these other men, but his attention is worth more because I have to work harder for it It's that simple. By the way, it's that same way in sales. It's the same way in marketing

It's the same way with leadership when you come to that realization man It's just same way with leadership. When you come to that realization, man, it just, it really is magical. The only difference in dating is that there's very little logic in dating. Dating is all about emotional responses. Whereas with these other things, there's a little bit more logic involved when it comes to sales and stuff like that. Cool. Well, Michael, if they want to find you, if they want to learn more about your program, how do they find you? Listen, if you, if you like what you're hearing and you would just want to join up with us, just go to moa mentoring.com. I'd recommend you go there. You can read the testimonials. I love when people come that are super skeptical,

that don't believe that I actually showed up to these events with 90 girls, 100 girls. And at the same time, I've got these huge fortune 500 CEOs coming on my podcast. I can do both, and I can teach you how to do both. If you have any skepticism, go check out the website, moamentoring.com. If you just want to learn more, then hit me up on Instagram. If you hit me up on Instagram, uh, it just Michael Sartain on Instagram, hit me up on Instagram or just go on YouTube. Uh, and what will happen on Instagram? Cause you can DM me. I'm just going to give you access to our free, uh, server, our school server. And in there will be the first four steps of men of action, which is one, fix your social media to build a list. Three, get open threads with as many people as you can on social media.

So invite like find events to invite people to. And number four, take six girls with you to those events. Well, I'm going to teach you those first four steps. And once I do that, then that's kind of the gateway into the program. And then from there, we teach you all the other things. But that's free. And we give that to you if you hit me up on Instagram. He's giving you the first couple.

Hit Michael up and do that. And I do. Thanks for coming by. I appreciate you. I'm going to leave you guys today with this because it is the holidays, man. By the time this comes out, it'll be Tuesday, I think, next week in the middle of December. If you are listening to this right now, if you are listening to this, understand that you are a member of the Lucky Sperm Club.

What I mean is if you have money enough to have a device in your hand, a headset in your ear, a car that you're driving in, you were born lucky. And I will say that during this season of the holidays, it is more than just a gesture of goodwill. It is an obligation. If you are someone of any type of means to give back, be able to be a go giver, do something great. I'll tell you what I'm doing. I'm actually leaving here in 30 minutes to go do this. I got the, stole this idea from Kent, my good friend Kent Clothier. I want to give him credit for it. And it struck a chord with me the first time he told me that he does this. And here's what it is. For those of you that don't know how layaway works,

layaway is when someone doesn't necessarily have enough money and they want to do their kids Christmas shopping early. So they make sure they get whatever the toy is. So they go into stores like Kmart, stores like Burlington Coat Factory, stores like this. And then they say, here's five or ten dollars to hold this gift. And I'm going to make payments on it between now and Christmas. Well, December 12th, which is today, is the day that the stores will take all the inventory tomorrow and put it back on the shelves if they couldn't do that. So I have gathered up a bunch of our agents here in our company. This is the second time we're doing this this year. We're going to go from here down to Burlington Coat Factory, and we're going to pay off all the layaways. We're just going to pay them all off.

So some of them are a couple bucks. Some of them are $5, $10. It's not even a lot of money to give somebody Christmas. And I don't tell you that because I need the stroke or admiration of you to tell me how great I am. This will not be on my social media. It will not. I didn't call the news. I'm telling you because I want you to hear that story and understand that it doesn't take a $20,000 investment to give back. You can literally for five or $10 and paying off somebody's layaway, make their Christmas. So try to find somewhere in this holiday to go be a go giver and give back. Thank you to Michael Sartain. Make sure you check him out in this program and we will see you guys next week. What's up everybody. Thanks for joining us for another episode of escaping the drift. Hope you got a bunch out of it, or at least as much as i did out of it anyway if you want to learn more about the

show you can always go over to escapingthedrift.com you can join our mailing list but do me a favor if you wouldn't mind throw up that five-star review give us a share do something man we're here for you hopefully you'll be here for us but anyway in the meantime we will see you at the next episode