Escaping the Drift with John Gafford - Born to Win! Ep 39

Episode Date: February 24, 2022

The Power Move Episode 39Learn and burn Entrepreneurship from serial entrepreneur John Gafford and his band of mayhem makers. From stripper poles to the oval office, business lessons are everywhere. This Week:Feel like you're not wining enough? Well winning is a skill that can be learned like any other. This week the guys discuss the book "Born to Win" by Zig Zigler. With Chris Connell and Colt Amidan

from the art of the deal to keeping it real live from the simply vegas studios it's the power move with john gafford back again back again back again back again back again back again it is the power move? Yep. I'm John Gafford. I'm your host. To the left of me, Colt, re-gifter Amadan. I don't re-gift. I take your gifts. The king of the re-gift. King of the re-gift.

Sloppy seconds. That's Colt's sloppy second Amadan. There you go. That's it. I'll take it. Thank you, everybody. And again, John Gafford loves scotch. Thank you. Yeah, that's it. And of course, joining us, the counselor, Chris Connell. How are you, sir? Living the dream.

Living the dream, indeed. Well, today on the podcast, among other things, I think there's a couple things people don't know. I think people think that there's some sort of secret to success. There's some sort of a formula. And I do, I agree with that. There is a formula to success. And we're going to kind of dive in today about what it takes to win. I mean, people say, oh, you're lucky, or this, that, that guy's a winner. Dude, what does it take to be a winner? And lucky for us, there's a cat out there named Zig Ziglar. I think everybody's probably heard of him. If you haven't read How to Win Friends and Influence People, you stop right now go buy the damn book carnegie yeah dale carnegie

starting there and then zig ziglar yeah and then who else there's zigzag and then napoleon hill pulling dynamite yeah i mean there's just some of these books that you should have read you had to read them you just had to have read these mastery by robert green yeah i mean there's just something you had to rate and so every week once in a while we try to jump on one of these books that you should have read. You had to have read them. You just had to have read these books. Mastery by Robert Greene. Yeah. I mean, there's just some you had to have read. And so every week, once in a while, we try to jump on one of these books and make it go. And this week, we're going to talk about Zig Ziglar's book, which is called Born to Win. Shockingly enough. But before we get to that, guys, there's a lot of things going on. Are we talking about Porn to Win?

No, not Porn to Win. No, not Porn to Win, Colt. Born to Win is what we're talking about. I was like, ooh, I got a lot to talk about today no i'm just born to win so you know a couple things that that happened to me that i've realized and if you have kids speaking about born to win we're just we'll go with born to just drive me batshit crazy that's what we're going to talk about so i you know you see the videos online of the kids covered like peanut butter they come around the corner of the pantry there's like the one-year-old like, I painted my brother peanut butter.

It's cute and you laugh, right? Yeah. No fun. But this is what I realize. But really, who's inconvenienced by the peanut butter bath? Is it the little brother who's standing there covered in peanut butter looking like a swamp monster? No. Or it's the parent that has to clean him up.

It's me. I have to clean him up. And the first thing I see in those videos is, all right, now you got to get the towels out, do a load of laundry, you got jam all over the floor. Yeah, now I have problems because of this, right? And as they get older, the problems don't change,

but they get older. See, here's the problems. Costlier. No, here's the issue. Lessons are taught until they are learned. If you don't learn, then the lesson will come back around again. That is a great phrase. It is. Lessons are taught until they're learned. If you don't learn, then the lesson will come back around again. That is a great

phrase. It is. Lessons are taught until they're learned. And unfortunately, education comes with pain. And if there's no pain involved in the situation, or if the pain is not your pain, chances are you don't learn the lesson. You don't suffer it. Case in point, this weekend we're down at Newport, and my

kids are going to go run around the Strand and have a little bit of freedom. They each had a friend, so they get to run down. We live pretty close to all the restaurants and stuff in Newport. And, you know, my kids are going to go run around the Strand and have a little bit of freedom. They each had a friend. So they get to run down. We live pretty close to all the restaurants and stuff in Newport, Peninsula. And the kids are going to run down there. My daughter always carries a Vans backpack. My son barely knows if he has shoes on.

So I say to my kids as they're about to leave, I pull. My wife goes, they can take my credit card. I look at my daughter. I look at both of them. I mean, this isn't like over my shoulder. This is look into my eyes and understand the instructions, right? I say, this credit card goes into Roma's bag and then it comes out to go to pay. As soon as it's done paying, it goes right back into Roma's bag. When you, when we all get back here, I'm going to ask you to deliver the credit card back to me out of the bag.

I feel like I'm following this. Yeah. Out of the bag. Right. You got'm following this. Yeah, out of the bag. Right? You got it? Pretty good. Does everyone understand? Yeah, there is no deviation from said plan. I'm ready for a quiz.

Yeah, this is the plan. So we go out. The kids come back. We get back. And what happens? I look at them and I go, hey, Roma, where's the credit card? First thing out of her mouth, I don't know. Hayden took it.

What do you mean Hayden took it? He picked it up off the table, wouldn't give it back to me. Hayden, where's the credit card? I put it on the counter. What do you mean you put it on the counter? I put it right here on the counter well they ain't here now turn the whole house upside down where were you carrying said credit card back from restaurant to house in my back pocket where do you carry your phone in my back pocket okay let me explain to you how friction and physics work sticky yeah cases gone lost that so that's the sun so equally guilty for that more So that's the sun. So equally guilty for that.

More leaning on the sun on that one. So now my wife has to, of course, go through the fiasco of canceling all of the online setup bill pay that she has on her credit card and get another one. Now, before we leave to go to the beach because we're taking friends,

obviously I just got the new car. And when I came home, first thing, because I wasn't there, but Roma's friend had already shown up, first thing out of her mouth was, I really like your new car. Okay, so you obviously obviously saw the car i didn't even think twice about it just saw the car packed the car we're leaving whatever blah blah go out this morning get ready to go to a meeting walk out car car's dead i mean dead and obviously she got in there left the lights on now this is a it's a relatively there's only 300 of these cars running

around apparently on the planet right now. Nobody has any idea how to get into it, how to start it. I'm calling the Maserati dealership. They're like, bro, we have no idea, right? It's like, let me call three different people. So it's like an Easter egg hunt to try to even figure out how to get the door open, which I finally did. Then I get the frunk open, the front trunk, and I can't get the engine hatch back. So hopefully now we have the information required to get my car back.

How nervous are you to jump that car? I'm not. I'm going to trickle it. I'm not jumping that. So to your point, though, at which point in any of these stories has anybody suffered other than you? Well, okay. Well, here's the deal. So I did.

I taxed my kids over the credit card. Smart. I said, how long is this going to take you to sort all this stuff out for mom? Mom's like, probably half an hour i said cool and not and you know and granted mom's a little different because she doesn't have an hour you know she doesn't have an hourly wage so i just decided to tax it at 50 bucks so i said hey you know they own the machines here i said everything you're going to get on the machine is going right back to mom for 50 you know because for the time and trouble of doing this there's's your tax. The dead car, haven't quite got there yet. Probably going to pay for the trickle charger is what I'm thinking.

But yeah, there's got to be some sort of pain because if you don't have pain, you don't learn the lesson, and the lesson will continue to come until it's learned. I think that I used to always get on my kids about stupid stuff, and my wife's like, God, you're such an asshole. It's the stupidest thing. I'm like, no, it's not. This is going to lead to something bigger if we don't treat them right now. And I think people just let little stuff go.

Like most parents would be like, don't do that again. Right. Yeah. Most people do that. And like you said, you'll never learn that way. Yeah. I do. You've got to have some pain associated with the lesson. So if you have ever owned a credit card yourself, individually as an adult, let me ask you a question. Would you rather take a kick in the ass, the ass meat, in the buttocks, by Kamaru Usman? All day, all day.

Have Kamaru Usman just come up, give you one kick in the thick of the ass, or have to touch and restart credit card payments? 1,000%. I would take that kick all day would take i would take a kick by an ultimate fighter all day long in the ass it's such maybe even the ribs like i'd have to really i there's very few things on this planet i would rather not have to it is such a pain in the you have all this stuff especially if it's your card that you have on auto payment on every

i had an lvac bill one time go delete i'm like, I forgot that. It's always that $2 one. It's always the one. That's going to ruin your credit. Go to log into Netflix. All of a sudden, it's gone. You're like, wah, wah. They're like, oh, yeah, you owe $8.10. Could you make that payment now?

I'm like, I think so. I'm kicking the ass from Kamara Usman. We'll go away in a day or two. I'll deal with this credit card. It's terrible. Yes, but you know what? That's failing, I think, is the credit card story. So let's talk about winning because that's what we want to do.

In a lot of this stuff, it's funny how this turns out. So I just want to get some high points from this book. Again, Born to Win by Zig Ziglar. Check it out. But we're going to start with this one. One of the main reasons people fail to reach their full potential is because they're unwilling to risk anything. I just had that conversation Saturday. You know, my son was asking somebody, you know, why do you get paid so much?

Who gets paid? You know, talking about that. And I said, you get paid off of risk, in my opinion. Hard work? Not really. You know, the landscape would make more money than anybody if you had to work hard work, right? It's risk, in my opinion hard work not really you know the landscape would make more money than anybody if you had to work hard work right it's risk in my opinion and i don't think people comprehend the stress and risk that you take usually correlates with your your income in my opinion experience in

time too well yeah you know and licensing and expertise for me for me me, even though they are synonyms a little bit, I break it up into risk and hazard is what I break it into. Risk is something that's manageable. It's quantitative. I can gauge it against something else. Hazard, I use that word in my analyzation of things as danger. Like this is too far beyond my – like risk is, risk is acceptable, but once you get beyond a certain point, it's hazard and you're acting irresponsibly. And that's where that line

for a lot of people now, sometimes, you know, I have some partners in some things that I do that, that sometimes push the envelope of what they do to the point where I have to say, whoa, whoa, whoa, we were stepping out of risk now and we're stepping into hazard. And I don't operate in hazard. I have before and it is absolutely, it's blown up in my face. So that's where your business and the value of what you do comes in, right? On a general scale, we talk about a brokerage.

You have a real estate agent oftentimes for their expertise, but as well to defer problems to and to mitigate your own risk as a buyer. If I was out here and I had no real estate experience and I was going to go buy a house from somebody, they got a pile of bricks there. Okay, give me this much money and I'll give you that. Great. When you involve brokers and agents, you have somebody that's responsible, right?

Right. So that's where sometimes people think, oh, you guys don't even do this much work for what you got. But it's like, think of the risk I just took away from you for that value oh yeah well and even getting into real estate you're you're doing risk i mean a lot of times you're putting up i remember when i got into it i saved x amount of money i was like here we go either going to lose everything i own or it'll succeed i mean you put risk i mean just taking a listing i take risk with that sure it cannot sell and i'm out thousands and thousands you're out hours of your time well not even that like commercial is not like we can't just put on

an mls and take nice photos and do stuff it cost me every month to list something so you know to me it's a risky little investment sure no no of course of course it is you know the next thing says if you believe as I do, that you were born to win, you're going to have to find, you're going to have to find your fears and start facing them, which means this. I know a lot of people that are borderline narcissists. I'll say, um, I like to try. And I, the reason I'm very hyper sensitive to that is I'm always, I'm always terrified. Personally, I'm going to, I'm going to, I'm going to, I'm going to leap off that ledge. Right. So I always try to understand my own limitations and always try to keep myself mentally in check that way. But I think what it

means is there are a lot of people that I know that are, that are borderline narcissists that just assume the world should open up for them because they're special. Right. Right. Because I should just be winning and I should just get what I can because I'm a special person is what they think. When the reality of it is if you can believe that you should be successful, you can do that. But it comes with the responsibility of facing fears that go along with that, of facing the trials and tribulations to get you where you are. So I think that's what he's trying to say there and that's what he's trying to do. Because there are far too many people that just think they're special. Yeah, that's an interesting way of saying, I don't know if you are born to win.

I think very few winners exist, right? There's far more losers than winners in life. Well, one of my favorite quotes, the winners and losers both set the same goals. Yeah, right. Nobody goes to UFC like, I'm going to lose this fight tonight. Right, right. But there are fewer UFC champions than there are UFC participants. True, 100%.

But you have to put yourself in the game. And they're all within a fraction. That's at the elitist levels, right? When you start talking about in business, you don't have to. There's not one title, right? When you're talking about real estate, you can't all win in that. There's always going to be more losers than winners. But you can win because it's not a zero-sum game

and there's not one championship. There's not one champion in business. There's a Microsoft, but there's also Larry Ellison with Oracle, and there's also Elon Musk. There's multiple billionaires. There's not room for just one. It's not Highlander. They've all conquered their fears.

Have you seen the Highlander cult? No, I think we talked about this enough. What is it? In the immortal words of Ricky Bobby, won the Academy Award for what? Best movie ever. I've never. What is it? I saw Highlander.

It sucked. No, no. No, don't? Nah. I mean, it's a little late. I think we might have to watch it. A little late. I feel like we should make you watch it, though.

I know. I'm getting called from next next card i never worry because i know who i am and i know whose i am whose i am oh that's we've talked about that before about if you kill off your masters and you're responsible yourself yeah exactly exactly right so i think this means you know do you belong to yourself do you belong to others where where are you mentally controlled for that? I think it could be, I think it could only mean one of multiple things. It could mean that or it could mean some of the lines of be content in the fact if you are surrounded by loved ones. Kind of going back to that, a poor man is someone that wants for more, not someone that has less. Kind of that idea. But I also think being controlled by others is probably strong.

Desire is the catalyst that enables a person with average ability to compete and win against others with more natural talent. Amen. I've known a lot of people, especially in this industry, in the real estate industry, that just through sheer will of effort will outbeat the best salesman in this business true i mean just because they're willing to go out in 118 degree heat in las vegas and bang on 400 doors and just go at it and they're not the most a lot of we've talked about that too that you know having a pretty face or you know having a you know handsome jawline or whatever is not not guaranteed for success, right? Some of the most successful. Are you talking about me?

I'm not talking about you. I'm talking about you. Jawline. I'm not talking about you. But you've seen them all, and I don't want to be gender specific or whatever, but there's that 60-year-old guy who's out there hustling and grinding

and really puts himself out there. There's a 55-year-old lady who's just dominant in the market and focuses and takes it seriously. Those people will have some of the best numbers there are. you would you wouldn't think you'd think it's an appearance game you think it's this and that there's a good book called uh it's more geared towards commercial real estate but it's really geared for entrepreneurs called knowing isn't doing i love that knowing isn't doing meaning you can be as smart as you want you can be the

smartest guy in that room, but if you're not doing the actions, you're going to be left behind. I think there's a lot to be said about, like I always tell people I operate in real estate with a scalpel. Like you can either operate with a scalpel or a sledgehammer. I'm much more of a scalpel guy, but that doesn't mean to say that if you want to use a sledgehammer,

now it takes a long time to learn how to use a scalpel, but you can pick a sledgehammer up and start swinging it tomorrow sure and i think you can probably get i mean if you think back to my career i probably when i was swinging the sledgehammer got great results i've just learned over time through education how to use a scalpel right so there you go like that there you go um next one good action today will produce good living tomorrow i think we how many times we talk about this in here, which is the decisions you make today affect your tomorrow, right? The people you choose to surround yourself with the actions,

everything that happens, you know, it goes, I mean, you know, we talked about my countdown timer for, for trying to get in shape and, you know,

how's that going? Cause this is not going good for me. I don't, I mean, no, I'm just saying I look at the countdown. I think, I think I'm gradually coming down. I stopped getting on the scale every day. Cause I just think it's, I think it's bad for me i don't i think i'm up four pounds no i'm just saying i look at the countdown i think i think i'm gradually coming down i stopped getting on the scale every day because i just think it's

i think it's bad for me but um but but yeah i think i think it's it's the little efforts every day yeah that's what it is yeah yeah consistency over time is results always consistently over time the depth of your spirit will determine the height of your success that sounds like a bumper sticker to me. I'm just going to throw it out there. Can we talk about bumper stickers? How annoying. How have we not talked about bumper stickers?

God, I don't know, but who puts bumper stickers on their cars? Who tattoos perfectly beautiful bodies? I don't know. No, I have way bigger problem with bumper stickers than tattoos. Oh, yeah. Have you ever seen a really bad tattoo yeah but have you seen a good bumper sticker yeah no you've not honk if your horn is broken i'm telling you honk if your horn is broken that's is is that could you be friends with somebody that

pulls up with bumper stickers on their car i don't understand people that put political bumper stickers on their car crazy to me it's it's bizarre but it's always those people 50 of people out there don't agree with you and so you're just subjugating your car to yeah to whatever damage whatever damage you're gonna get i just i cannot stand the bumper sticker it bugs me people still put two bumper stickers all the time i see it all yeah you know where i sit never mind i'm not going to get there no i see it all the time in certain neighborhoods. It just shocks me. Just say Summerlin, bro.

No, it's not Summerlin, though. Oh, I get it. Green Valley. You're going to cause a lot of hate on this one. Well, we haven't been canceled at this point. So there you go. Bumper stickers. Don't do it, guys. Speaking of which, if you're listening to this on one of your podcasts.

Oh, I got an announcement. I forgot if I say this. We are now, which is actually hard to it, guys. Speaking of which, if you're listening to this on one of your podcasts, oh, I got an announcement. I forgot if I say this. We are now, which is actually hard to get, apparently. It takes a long time. We're now streaming on iHeartRadio. We're streaming on iHeart, which is great. So glad to be part of the iHeart family. It took a hot second to get there, but glad to be part of that.

Tell your sister to watch out. I know, look out. But whatever you're listening to us on, give us a real quick there, five-star review. Please don't judge us by Colt's contributions. And yeah, if you're watching us on YouTube or however you are, push that like, smash, subscribe button.

It does help the algorithm a little bit and try to get us some traction. Unless you're a bumper sticker person. Yeah, unless you're a bumper sticker person, then just go ahead and put I hate Colt on the back. I will say this though. I hate Colt. I used to have a bumper sticker

making kit that I would make bumper stickers. A bumper sticker making kit? Yeah, just magnetic bumper stickers. It would make magnetic ones and you could put them on people's cars and see how long they drive around with them. Oh, we did that. We did that to a kid in high school and he went like three months. A really nice one. Do you hate bumper stickers more than people that put the whole description of their family, including the number of children they have and their relative ages on the back of the window? Oh, that's good. Yeah.

But that's a bumper sticker in itself. It's kind of more of a window decal. I get it. But people put too much personal information on their vehicles. There's a lack of it. Have you seen some people? They got like eight or nine kids. Could you imagine?

It'd be horrible to have that many kids. They're usually the big suburbans. As somebody that just went to Disneyland again last weekend, no, I cannot imagine. I mean, dude. I have three kids. Oh, my God. Everything is so expensive. Three is too many.

Three is too many. We went to Mimi's or Marie Callender's. Yeah. Ah, good pies. Marie Callender's. Good pies. Four kids, two adults. Top three pies. Top. Yeah. Ah, good pies. Marie Callender's. Good pies. Four kids, two adults. Top three pies.

Top three pies. Ah, man. There you go. I mean, you got to go with the apple pie number three. Apple's in there. I give you that. Well, that's a nostalgia. Yeah.

That's why it's number three. It's not the best. Heavy on the cinnamon or light on the cinnamon? Oh, heavy. Heavy on the cinnamon. Look at good apple pie on the load. Yeah, it's good. Yes, it's all good.

What else you got? No, then you go. I mean, you got to go with. No. good apple pie on a mojo. Yeah, it's good. What else you got? No, then you go. I mean, you got to go with. No. Are you kidding me? Pumpkin. Pumpkin number two. You knew pumpkin was coming.

That's amazing. You knew pumpkin was coming. Pumpkin's gross. Did you say pecan? Like a butter pecan pie. Oh, gross. Oh, my God. Top three worst.

So I grew up with butter tarts. I'll do like a chocolate French silk pie. That's all. I don't even know what that is you know you never worked in a restaurant then you never wrote the dessert the dessert number one chocolate so you're ready for number one what is it banana cream pie i like it i like it but who's got a good banana cream pie marie calendar calendar calendar's got one you know who else got a good one is uh what is it uh claim jumper got a good one oh really are they still open isn't it funny that the way we started this podcast colt was worried about the direction we're going to go and we end up talking about cream pies yeah we just was getting

we knew it was going to be there top three cream pies the depth of your spirit will be determined no i think we already read that because that's what we've got on bumper stickers next thing worry is the most significant factor that relates to the root of negative thinking i totally agree with this we talk about all the time this again goes back to being rooted in classic modern classic stoicism don't borrow trouble from tomorrow there is no good or bad only your perception of how things affect you and you suffer way more in your mind than you ever will suffer in reality from these situations. And as I always, you know, the motto I live my life by, memento mori, I've actually got a little charm that says it,

basically means death comes for us all. Remember death, memento mori, and next to death, what is this? That's what I, you know, it didn't kill me. Is this going to kill you? And I think that's, too many people get too caught up in small problems that they won't even, and who was, I don't remember who this was. Somebody said this not too long ago and they said, here's a cool exercise. I don't remember who it was. If it's one of my friends and you see this, I'm sorry, I forgot which one of you said this. They said, next year you have a major problem or a major issue that happens,

write it down in a calendar appointment 30 days from now, Like put it on your calendar, 30 days, so it pops up on your phone. And then you'll be amazed at how little that actually affected you a month later, or if you even remember what happened a month ago. That is the world I live in, because as an attorney, right, I'm constantly managing the problems of others.

And they become my problems, right? Because I've got to figure out how to manage them. Every time I look at a case that's's closed i go to my closed case files we have to keep our files for seven years and i'll look at it and i'll go i remember when that case was actually bringing my whole world like to its knees and it resolved quite reasonably easily good you know results got paid everything worked out yeah and i remember when that was the bane of my absolute existence. Yeah, the world was caving in on top of you. All the time, but there's 40 cases like that where I looked at,

and I couldn't wait for that case to be closed. Yeah. And then by the time it was closed, I was already worrying about some other case. And you don't even remember it, and you don't even remember it happening. Yeah, I've learned that one. Do you ever meet people that are the complete opposite, though? What do you mean? There's major issues oh yeah whatever it'll work its way out and it's like you can't be like that always either no but that's all that that leads to huge problems because they don't address them yeah you got to dive into it but i

you know it's funny i always me and my wife always laugh i have a philosophy in my house where they even out gaffords like yeah if somehow something if my car what if something breaks whatever and it cost me five grand somehow some way five grand is gonna show up yeah because it always does like i just i just looked at the horizon and expected to show up and it's gotten to the point where i expect that kind of stuff yeah that's you know last year we're gonna win there and just even out gaffords which is funny that's life though it is you lose yep oh man this is a good one when you stop planning and preparing you stop winning it's it's so fun man i gotta tell you if you've listened to our podcast before you've taught you've heard us talk about books you've heard

about stoicism you've heard us talk about laws of power you've heard us talk about all of these things there's no there's no new information man it's the same stuff that's been going on for thousands of years and like you know fail to plan plan to fail you know if you don't know stoicism if you don't know to which port you sail no wind is favorable it's all the same stuff if you stop having a plan for your life you're you're gonna just you know you're drifting to just, you know, you're drifting. And if you drift, you're going to fail. And people will. It's funny how so many people will get so planned out and have everything going, but once things get going, they forget. You have to plan out even when you're successful.

Well, that's why mission statements exist, right? That's why when you talk about business, you talk about what are our core principles. Let's figure that out before we set ship or set our ship out to sail because if that's not my north star then then we're directionless right yeah so you have that and if you're true to those principles right you can always if you have a question that comes up that's problematic you go what is our what is our core value what is our what are we doing here yeah well it's like you know we never do business plans more than a quarter at a time you know it's always it's a quarter chunks because we revisit them every quarter. We

see how close, where we were to achieving our goals, what happened. And we revise and we pivot if we need to, which means I'm never on the wrong course for too long because things change, man. Things constantly change. And part of winning now is, is understanding the trends and moving forward and changing when you need to change. That's why the show is going to be called next month. I don't want to be a spoiler. But the power move and NFT analysis with John Gallagher. NFT analysis, yeah.

No, I mean, no, look, I'm sorry because we were supposed to have the snack daddy on today. And snack daddy, we'll get him with him. But yeah, Ari, some point, buddy, going to get you in here. I mean, he was at a Borg Abyot Club party club party in la or something yesterday so he got he got held up so it was that when you get that i don't know we'll get back to him uh you can start from where wait a second you can start from where you are with what you've got and go to where it is where where it is you want to go okay sorry it's like give me you ever read a sentence where there's a bunch of like a lot of go to where it is you want to go. Okay. Sorry, it's like,

you ever read a sentence where there's a bunch of like three- A lot of pronouns. Yeah, there's like three and two words. You should have had the lawyer read that one. No, it's like, do I have dyslexia? It's like, instantly I can't read. But again, what this is saying is, it doesn't matter what you got.

It doesn't matter how much you got. You can get, there is a path to get to where you want to go, and you've got to understand that. I think a lot to get to where you want to go. And you've got to understand that. I think a lot of people will have limiting beliefs. Oh, I'll never achieve that because I didn't start from X. How many people do you think in real estate? And I hate to keep bringing it back to just the real estate, general business, real estate is business. It is. It really is. How many people do you think legitimately suffer from imposter syndrome? Oh, I think it's a huge amount.

I think a huge amount. I think the reason that the majority of people in real estate especially only earn $50,000 or whatever it is, $48,000 is the median income, whatever it is this year for real estate. But I think the reason that that is is because they don't think they're worth any more money than that. Right. They're not. I mean, there's a great story that one of my buddies, Steve Sims, told me. And was Steve Sims? I don't remember who it was.

Who was? Maybe Steve. We'll go with Steve Sims. Steve Sims. Steve, I'm assuming you said this, but we're going to give it to you. Shout out to Steve. We'll give it to you. But it was at some point he was charging X amount of dollars to speak.

And somebody called him, and he just was busy and couldn't do it, like so many other things, and just decided to double his price. And they paid it. And after that, he never spoke for less than that again. And it's just funny how we have this perceived value of ourselves and our own minds that we project onto others. I mean, how many times have you been in a negotiation about yourself? I don't care where you work. If you work at D you know, Dairy Queen, you have to negotiate how much

you make at some point, right? At some point you put a dollar value on your value. You put it on there. And how many people have sold themselves short by taking an hourly job, by doing whatever they're doing, because they just don't think they're worth any more money than that. Right? Totally agree. Happens happens a lot and it happens in every part of me though too does appreciate when people suffer a little bit of imposter syndrome yeah it's a certain amount of humility right yeah there's times when i've gotten to the point where people will say hey um you know they have this question i'll say i have no idea yeah i have no idea because that's not the law i practice. Well, that's the best answer.

In our business, especially, that's the best answer. Let me put you in touch with someone who does. But people say, hey, can you do commercial? You're a residential. Okay. They fumble through it. Yeah. I want somebody who's got enough imposter syndrome where they know their limitations.

I mean, I just had this. Someone called me. We have meth house going up in Utah. I'm like, I know. What's that cost to build? Yeah. Oh, it's a good return. What's the return on the meth house you're putting?

No, but it's funny because. We'll talk after the show. The thoughts and feelings of Colt Abaddon do not reflect their power. No, but it's, you know, I said that, I'm like, I've dealt with it for 20 years. Like, give me a day. Let me reach out to four different people that I know in the meth world. No, I don't, guys. No, but, you know, I know they've dealt with this kind of issue. So I reached out four different people that i know in the meth world no i don't guys no but you know i know they've dealt with this kind of issue so i reached out four different people and i said

there's your answer just to clarify somebody had a house that was previously used in the has to be remediated oh it's such a pain in the ass i'm shocked we don't uh test for that a lot out here no utah it's big. I think you can tell right away. No, you can't, though. I think the pit bull chained up to the wheel. A lot of times it is. It's like an old grandma letting their grandkids

in it. You'd never know. Anyway, it's off subject. My point is that I like people with a certain amount of humility and john was talking about uh one of his other business partners nick yeah um one of his most endearing things is that you know he asked him a question he goes i don't know the answer to that right now no no no no no no no no we were having i don't know what you're

talking we were having a conceptual conversation he goes i don't know what you're talking about i was like okay yeah like explain to me what you're talking about straight to the no bullshit no no bullshit no bullshit meter i don't know what you're talking about yeah i was like okay yeah like why explain to me what you're talking about straight to the no bullshit no bullshit no bullshit meter i don't know what you're talking about yeah not me like i'm two well you know today it's funny i'm i was on the phone today i was on a zoom with a big hedge fund out of irvine and um i was talking to this guy and he was saying some phrases to me that i was like like just right over like just just the financial terms. Like I knew what he was talking about once he started talking about it. But when he threw out the buzzword, the hedge fund buzzword for us, it was over my head.

I didn't know what it was. A lot of terms are different in different areas. Yeah. They'll say stuff in New York that you'll never hear on the West coast and vice versa. And if you're, you gotta be honest. What's that mean? Oh, we refer to what it is when a lot of times they just put words together right like today i got revolving mezzanine

line i'd never heard that before i'm like okay yeah okay revolving mezzanine line okay so many projects that you just have to always have this mez finance kind of yeah yeah kind of kind of kind of we needed that so i mean granted, going to come out in my favor. So it was great to do, but there you go. Value and purpose are about understanding the specific benefits you will help people receive if they receive what you have for them. This is the, if you want to win in business, figure out how to solve people's problems.

Be the person that solves problems for others and you will be successful. And I keep in mind that doesn't necessarily mean, you know, I need to go out and learn how to get people root canals. So when they say I have a, I have a toothache, but it would behoove me to know the best orthopedic surgeon, well, orthopedic surgeon in Vegas and have them in my phone and have a relationship with that guy. So when this person has a crisis, one of my people has a crisis at eight o'clock on a Saturday, I can call my buddy and see where we're at. Right. That would move me because there is, if there's anything more,

there's nothing more valuable in business. You know, Bradley says the more hands you shake, the more money you make. I think there's no more valuable service than being able to connect the dots for people. You know, Dan Fleischman said, Fleischman says all the time, my superpower is my phone. My contact list is my superpower. I can connect people, anything you need. I have the answer in my phone somewhere. Yeah, connectors do well. And I can connect this.

Learn to connect the dots. If you're someone that you don't have a lot personally to offer because of where you are, maybe you're not at a school yet, maybe you're not in a position of power within a job, Learn to be the person that people go to, to connect the dots. Oh, I need a new car. Oh, I got a guy. You should call for that. I need insurance. I got that guy. I got this collect people that are good at stuff this morning. When I was on with the hedge fund guy this morning, he asked me, cause the guy that had connected me with him said, how do you know this person? Like what's the relationship? And I says, Oh, you know, I've known this guy for years. And I said, quite frankly, um,

when I met him, he is exceptional when it comes to building brand imaging, just exceptional at the work. And he goes, Oh my God. Yeah. I love what he did with this project in, in,

in, in, in California. And I said, yeah, you know, when I find people that are exceptional at what they do, I tend to hang on to them in my circle,

whatever it is. And the guy's like, that's a great way to look at things so when you find people that are good stay connected with them man stay connected totally agree good way you're good at that you do you always do i try well that's why you're here that's why you're here this would be boring if it wasn't for you well let's take a quick break guys we're man we're all over now we're gonna take a quick break we're gonna call it we're gonna talk about more about how to win when we come back.

And Colt will probably – you know what? I'm going to let you hijack the show with whatever you want to talk about for five minutes. So we have that to look forward to when we come back. I can't wait. Well, yeah, because if it's good, we're going to start with five minutes and we'll go from there and we'll see what happens. We'll be back in just a second.

We'll get into the weeds. Hey, it's John Gafford. If you want to catch up more and see what we're doing, you can always go to thejohngafford.com where we'll share any links that we have, things we talked about on the show, as well as links to the YouTube where you can watch us live. And if you want to catch up with me on Instagram, you can always follow me at thejohngafford. here give me a shout back from the break part two today we are talking about of

course how to win zig ziggler's book born to win but more importantly some other things you know as you guys sit here and manhandle these cigars i feel the need i feel the need to do something and you need to understand why this isn't like the only fans chick where she has the need to do something, and you need to understand why. This isn't like the OnlyFans chick where she has the link to things you can buy her or whatever it is. I think that's how that works. I don't really personally know, but you see it in Instagram bios. That is how it works, and I just found that out. And I'm going to do that. See if just people buy me shit.

So I'm going to put an Amazon gift registry. Well, here's where I'm going with it. So I do tend to get, because people are super gracious and super nice to me, they send to send me things a lot. And I love that. I appreciate every time someone sends me something. But I feel the need to say this. I've said it before.

I feel the need to say it again. And only for this reason. Okay. Well, let's not talk about it because I really enjoy it. No, no, no, no, no. You shut your mouth. Let's just move on. You shut your mouth.

No, we're talking about this. Let's reason which is this i feel horrible when someone spends a bunch of money on something for me that i will never ever use all right so for some reason all right people love to buy me two things. All right. I just want you to know this is what happens to these two things when you purchase them. When you buy me scotch or you buy me cigars, they go to Colt. So thank you guys. So no, no, thank you guys. Because it just, I'm just saying this is where it goes. So if you want doing it, so if you want, if you want double down, you're actually, cause you know goes so if you want keep doing it so if you want if you want to go to colt yeah you're actually because you know then if you think about your smarts got two yeah i'm just saying

you're in a weird way you're you're doing something nice because you're getting a gift for me which i feel very grateful for and thankful and then it goes to colt which he feels grateful for as well so you're actually double whammy you are but here's my johnny walker i know I do not. I do not. I'm not the, I drink and collect bourbon bourbon. Okay. Big difference. Not Canadian. It's like, if you,

like, if you go in my, if you go into my office right now, I got Japanese whiskey, the best you can buy. I've got Canadian whiskey, the best you can get. What's wrong with Canadians and Japanese?

Well, okay. No, see, you're turning this on me, which is terrible. We got a Canadian in turning this on me, which is terrible. We got a Canadian in now, so I'll say to his face. And again, this is not because I am ungracious.

It is simply because I feel horrible. Like, I feel like I should smoke the cigar and I should drink the Scotch. Be a man. Jesus Christ. That's why, because everybody assumes you're a man. That's what men do, John. They smoke cigars and drink scotch and talk about girls

from back in the day. We're just men. We assume you're a man, John. Before we get back to Born to Win, I think we found your topic for the day. Can we talk about what would be the best smelling candles that they don't make?

I'm going to go with my top three, and I want your top three from each of you. I'm going to say cigar sandals. Oh, my God. They make bacon. They make bacon. Remember when bacon was everything was ironically bacon? Candles they don't make but should. I'll tell you something off camera about bacon.

I'm going to say cigar stuff that doesn't stick to the walls, right? Humidor smell. I'm trying to get away from cigar smoke. No, cigars do. There are candles and smells, right? Okay, let's back up. I'm pretty sure they have candles that smell like everything. No. My number one, pasta water.

You know when you make pasta, that water smell, it's amazing. It's amazing. Give me two more lifetimes. I wouldn't guess that. Yeah. The pasta water, pasta water,

and cigar smell. Amazing. Thanks. Who gave us these cigars? Well, I think, I think a better thing is not candles. They don't make, I think it's odd smells that you love i think is what it is i'll tell you one of my favorite smells in the world

is is well no it's it's chinese plastic beads and what i mean by that is when i i know i love the smell of mardi gras beads because it reminds me of being at Mardi Gras. Oh, you smell memories. Yeah, it is memory-inducing stuff. You know what's interesting? I actually have these in my desk, and here's a little fun tip for you, kiddos. You can anchor positive feelings with confidence, with love, with happiness, with whatever it is through smell. Easier than just about any other, any other.

It is. I think it's number one. I have in my office desk, I'll try to find it, put the link up. I'll put the link up in the bottom of the podcast wherever you're watching. Or if you're on YouTube watching, I'll put it there. But I have these little sticks that have distinct smells.

And what you do is you basically project yourself into a place of it's like a little mental like a personal hypnosis deal you have to do and you just kind of project yourself into like a great place like one of them smells like fresh cut grass which who doesn't have great memories of that yeah like going to the golf course as a kid and literally you just bust this thing out and you just smell it and it will put you in whatever state that you have kind of programmed yourself to do. But I'm a huge, I'm a huge fan of that. I went and hugged my dog the other day.

She was having a nap. I went, give her a hug. And she had that dog smell, but not like bad dog smell, just a warm, comforting dog smell. And I immediately transported back to being eight with my grandpa's dog. Yeah. And like playing cards in their house in a different city, different country. It's crazy how quickly you transport it.

Immediately transported. I'm like, I'd never noticed that my dog gave me the smell memory of my grandpa's dog. 100%. I really not.

You know what candle we could make a million dollars, what we could make millions of dollars with? Pasta water. If you could make a candle that smelled like a baby's head. Belle Delphine.

You know how many women would buy that? No, no, no. Think about it. No, because my wife loves to smell a baby's head. Belle Delphine. I think not many women would buy that. No, no, no. Think about it. No. Cause you know, my wife loves to smell a baby. The smell of that. I don't know.

It's a mixture of the baby powder and it's whatever. Yeah. It's just, you make a baby head candle. Like I just thought baby. And you can make it. It's made of wax. Yeah. It's not actually a baby's head.

No, it's not a real baby's head, but it's, yeah, it's a wax. But I think I know a big candle maker. We could probably make that happen. Just to smell like a baby smell. Baby smell candle. My wife would love that. Every time we see a baby somewhere, like a real small baby, she's like,

I want to go smell that baby. Look, if you're broken, you got a newborn, you could go to the mall and be like, smell my baby for 10 bucks and you could probably make rent. You probably could. Baby candy. Just letting your baby. Yeah.

You know what's so funny is I was cleaning out my room at my mom's house, going through stuff, and I found an old cologne there. And I sprayed it. I'm like, oh, it took me back to high school. Jupe, huh? Yeah. The jupe. The jupe. The jupe. Did I ever tell you about my jupe?

How much you hate jupe? Oh, no, no, no, no. Better. How much you love jupe? We're out in Dallas one night. This is years ago. We're out in Dallas, and we wind up going to a club in Dallas. And one of the guys we were with is in the bathroom at the stall.

He's using the urinal, right? So I look over. There's always the bathroom guy. You didn't try to smell him? No, I didn't smell it. No, no, I didn't smell, but there's always the bathroom guy sitting there. And I look over, I see a bottle of you, right? So I grabbed the you and he's the urinal. And I think I sprayed it like 20 times. I covered him in the, right? No, but here comes the God smack. You're any curious who comes to God smack? Cause again, this is this is years ago daddy i had a little bit too much to drinky right a little too many cocktails going

down to me so we get in the cab to take us back to the to the there was like six of us in a van and it's like one of those things where like the heater was on about eight degrees too high in the cab and you're just like just roll down the window and here comes yeah so it actually made me see back my own God smack there you go there you go my own joke God smacked me in the face what is three things about you people would be surprised by like the smell thing remind me of this and then people come up and they're like yeah you're funny is this your official hijack right here you want me to hijack but I need the official five minutes hijacking? I want to know. I'm curious. What are top three things people would be, if they've met you or they know you, they'd be surprised about?

I'm an absolute fangirl of Sex and the City. What? Yeah. Watched every single one. Loved the show, not the movie. I watched the movie. I'm a fangirl of Sex and the City. That's number one.

Because it gave me these positive memories. It was like something my sister and i connected on years ago um okay it was just one of those things and it was my first time when i was and i'd moved out and you're kind of trying to figure out how the world works and you see people doing different stuff and i don't know it just gave me kind of a yeah like a warmth there was like a warmth to the show oh yeah that's something i wouldn't uh and i do hot yoga hot yoga good to see you do hot yoga see I'm not surprised by that yeah

all spandex I'm sure no I'm not surprised I go gorilla style with it so I'll just nice what's your third thing shit about myself

I wouldn't I don't know what about you you got three things three things that people wouldn't know that wouldn't know about me I'm kind of an open book

I'm pretty open book otherwise uh let's see all this with all this confidence that i sort of ooze i was absolutely tortured as a kid when i was in like oh yeah eighth grade yeah me too i mean chased around school by bullies australia like the whole thing like tortured were you the big kid no no no no i was the mouthy kid and uh and and you know again godsmack i kind of i kind of deserved it but you know so all my friends decided to pick on this one kid in in school and so i chimed in on it and he was like oh really you and all of a sudden me and then yeah and then i and then and then it turned like everybody turning on me so i kind of had it coming i guess but yeah i've completely ostracized for about a whole year through eighth grade yeah there's one of them so yeah so yeah it

has always been sunshine and sunshine and rainbows there kids yeah i always think that i'm like people are shocked like for me i love flowers to get flowers just to flowers not to get them i mean if someone wants to buy i'm sure i'll take them but like just flowers i could sit out and just stare at flowers sure all day long and smell them i love flowers you love love flowers i think that's wonderful huge nora jones fan i love nora jones there you go i don't know what else would be surprised weddings weddings you love weddings i don't know what else but yeah that was just shocked because i've had people come up and they're like they get to see different side of us on this podcast and it just shocks people like yeah hey you're not an asshole all the time no i just don't know there's anything

about me that people be like oh my god i can't believe that like that's shocking that's why i'm trying to spice girl phase no there's no space but i just i'm trying i'm literally sitting here trying to think i'm like there's nothing that I can think of that would be like disaster. It would be like, oh, my God, I can't believe that. Well, no, not disaster. I think people just have a – like I said, I mean, people – multiple. I mean, three or four people have come up and like, you're funnier than what I would think because you're an asshole

in business type of deal, I think. So I think people are just assumption of us that there's things that i don't know like to me just weird nothing johansson told me to go fuck myself one time did she uh she's did she really she's a hot girl i got a lot of those kinds of stories yeah i don't think anybody wouldn't believe that no no i could see scarlet don't go f off yeah but back to the candles let's get that baby let's get that baby head candle i'm gonna tell you that yeah that was not that that was not your not your best hijack no i was trying i was just i was intrigued question you asked me like what's better fig

newton what's my favorite oreo i can tell you i was i was just curious you want me to go real deep no no no no bagels you want cheddar cheese or cream cheese oh um cream cheese on a bagel no cheddar all day long get back to the book back to the back of the book we're talking we're talking about how to born to win by zig ziglar today amazing and this in this we've talked about a lot which is this which is if you're not you know it basically says when you've got a strong enough why you can always find the how um you got to drill down and figure out why you're doing something before. And if it doesn't make sense to you why you're doing it, you're probably A, not going to be good at it, B, not stick with it very long, or C, put much heart into it.

So you better be able to attach a tangible why to what you're doing instead of just going on, which is why a lot of times with real estate, again, we keep bringing it back to that today, but we know when I coach my agents that work for me, I don't just put a dollar figure. If you put a dollar figure, it's empty, $25,000, $35,000, $40,000, $50,000, whatever it is in a quarter. It's an empty number, but you need to attach it to something that's going to happen because you get that money. I can pay my kids tuition. I can buy a rental property. I can put money away. I can get a new car. I can get out of debt. I can do these things. And when you attach real tangible things to these to these goals and real wise that are drilled down to you at a human in a human nature it really

really works you know i think not enough people take the time to drill things down to their core of what they are and i'll give you a great example of this yesterday so my daughter roma is quite possibly the messiest human on the planet. I don't know where she got it. Disagree. Because I'm not messy. I'm not that messy. And she just, I mean, literally just leaves stuff everywhere.

Like, I mean, open a bottle, leave it there. If I open a package of like. It goes on the floor. It's everywhere. It's everywhere. But hang on. So we have been telling Roma for the last probably three months, babe, you're the messiest kid. Like you've got, you're too old for this.

You got to start cleaning up after yourself. And I really thought about what it was to be messy the other day. And shockingly enough, it's very similar to what it means to be late all the time. So I shifted the conversation from you are very, very messy to you are incredibly inconsiderate. You are being incredibly inconsiderate of everyone around you, just expecting them to clean up after you. And that, you know, messy, whatever, dad, I'm not that messy. No, no, you're being really inconsiderate.

And when you do that, it's showing a lack of respect and a lack of love to your mother in particular. And it was like, whoa. Like if you are someone that is late all the time, you're just not casually late. It's not funny. You're a dick. You have no concept of other people's times. You think you're more important than they are.

People remember that. You might not remember that you are late to meet clients or whatever. They remember that. And people, people that know the value of their time, which are the people you want to do business with, where you should be in that person is they don't forget that. No, we'll show up once late and they'll be, eh, but twice, three times. Well, remember this too. I told you at the beginning of the, of the broadcast today that I said, uh, you know, I'm pretty good at identifying traits of narcissism. One of the number one traits is people that are always late. Yeah.

If you are consistently late, that means you value your time over the time of everybody else on the planet. And I'm talking to you doctors. Yeah. Yeah. I went off on a doctor once and he put me in. It was a probably worst time to go off on a doctor. I'm like, I've been here for an hour and a half.

I got shit to do. You think your time is more valuable than mine? He's like, sorry. The lady next door is stillborn death. I'm like, oh, shit. That is, you know. I don't shit on doctors because they are like me. When you're managing other people's problems, you can't predict things.

If it's one of those things where I have meetings from 9 to 12. Let me back up. I normally try to book doctor's appointments first thing in the morning. What is your first appointment? I'm sitting in a room for 25 minutes, and it's your first appointment? Yeah. That's on you. And that happens a lot.

Yeah. And that's not okay. I get it. Doctor's appointment and first flight. I get it when you get somebody that comes in the office, and they want more attention. You've got to spend 25, 30 minutes and just backs the whole system up. I understand that. But when you're late for your first appointment.

That's a good point. Yeah. That's the one I'm griping about. That's why you got to get first flights out in the morning. Yeah. So no one gets backed up on those two. Yeah, that's the one I'm griping about. Man was designed for accomplishment, engineered for success, and endowed with the seeds of

greatness. Sure. I mean, I think, yeah, this is Zig Ziglar's belief that you were born to win, man. You were actually, you know, you are, you have all the tools in the world. I mean, what is it? How many sperms are there? What are you? One in how many? 10 million. 10 million or something? Dude, you made it. You in the world. I mean, what is it? How many sperms are there? What are you? One in how many?

Ten million. Ten million or something? Dude, you made it. You woke up today. You made it. One in ten million. 1,800 million or something. Yeah, whatever it is.

But you won it. You have beat the longest odds you will ever face. I'm trying to think of that lyric from a Deftones song. Have you seen the memes where it's like, got three sperms, one's a cancer doctor, one's this, and that's like me. There's you. You're worthless shit. Yeah, good job. Good job, buddy.

But to your point, I like some of the rah-rah that a lot of these books promote because they're there for the individual reader who's reading them. And it's like, yeah, you have all the tools to win. But, again, I think sometimes people don you have all the tools to win but again i think sometimes people don't have their priorities right to even know what winning looks like or believe i want to win i want a ferrari so well it's not necessarily winning ferrari's not winning it's it's like you said it's the poor man yeah doesn't have enough as opposed to having you know poor man wants rich man wants for once for nothing right it's just if you're if you're somebody that that sees success as having a loving family

and you're that very kind to them and nice to them and you have an I love you household and all that stuff, you know, I don't. You're winning. Well, you know, and it's the same. Success is different for everyone. Like I have a partner currently in one of the businesses. The dude is a machine. He works seven days a week, constantly working, working, working.

I'm not going to do that because to me that's not success. Success is spending time with my family and my kids. That's what it is. I only got them until they're 18. 90% of the time you spend with your children is before they're 18 years old. And then you're going to get sporadically the rest of your life and less and less and less and less until they come to your funeral. And I want to enjoy every day, every minute that i can right with those kids that you know they're determined to make my life more difficult on a daily basis by doing but that's like and to me that success is being able to do that you know that's what it is to me isn't it funny when you think about that if you think about the logic of having kids

right you can't find to me much much logic in the process right it's one of the most expensive part-time jobs you can ever have oh yeah it is one of those things where you you just worry you spend the rest of your life after having a kid worrying and stressing out and living for them and blah blah and then they're out of the house it's gone and it's like what is the tangible net benefit well well well you're trying your genetic yeah you're well no no you're it's like hiring somebody to do a job in 40 years and you just pay for, you pay them up front and be like, come back in 40 years and take care of me, do the job. And you hope it happens and it doesn't, but essentially that's what you're doing. You can have everything in life you want if you're just willing to help

enough other people get what they want. Again, back to connecting the dots. I think that's it. Opportunity is walking through your life every day in the form of people you meet. Man, how true is that? You know, don't be afraid. I think this is, and especially in some of the circles that I started running in, and this is what I'm going to teach you a great lesson today. Here's what it is. As you level up in life and you surround yourself with different people, right?

You are probably, you may be at like, we'll just call it level four, where people are starting to get up on the come up and they're starting to get forward. Everybody on level four is faking it until they make it, and they don't want anybody else on level four to know they have any problems. They don't want to let it up.

By the time you get up to level nine or 10, the people that are up there, as soon as you talk to them, in the course of conversation up to level nine or 10, the people that are up there, as soon as you talk to them in a course of conversation, they're going to say, this is what I need help with. What do you need help with? And they'll just tell you because they're done fronting. They're done trying to impress anybody. They don't give a shit. They understand that there is a fast lane to success and it's through other people. You make connections with people that can help you. You can't help others.

Now, again, it's like we talked about before. It's like a bank account. You can't just always make withdrawals. You got to make some deposits with people. But again, case in point, sitting in sitting at my buddy Josh's house this weekend in Newport. And I'm like talking about something I got going on. He's like, you know, what challenges are you having? And I'm like, this is what I need.

Apparently revolving mezzanine line deck. And he literally sitting there over my kids, over my kids making s'mores. He makes two texts, text to two people. And I've assumed today, and that's well on its way to getting done. He didn't have to do that, but he did it for me. And it's the same thing. I would do anything, anything I can do to help him. But when you get to those higher levels, people discuss problems because they understand somebody else probably has the answer. Yeah. Well,

and I think at that level, you are at that level because somebody helped you along that way. So I think you are obligated, but, but, but the point, the point of it wasn't wait till you get to that level to act that way. The point is act that way now,

act that way now, and you'll get to the level eight much, much faster because dude, if I look back in my life how much time I spent pretending to be something bigger than I was It's ridiculous. Mm-hmm. I mean dude, I could have got I could have got to where I'm now Ten years ago if I just would have got out of my own way and quit acting the part and just started asking for help Yeah, ten easily ten years So yeah, yeah, very interesting. There you go. All right and just started asking for help. Yeah. Easily 10 years. Yeah, very interesting.

There you go. All right. Practice is simply preparation for success, which I agree. If you're in sales, you know what? I'm going to spin off today, give you a little tidbit that I don't even know if I've given this on the show before. Maybe I have because it's one of my standards. But I'm in the car today driving to the other side of town to a meeting and I get a phone call.

Hello, this is John. Hey, John, this is blah, blah, blah from blah, blah, blah. How you doing today? Hang up that call. Okay, hang on. I'm over it. So I said to the guy, I know you're a telemarketer.

I'm not interested. What? Now, here's the deal. This is how your brain works, in case you didn't know this. Your brain is eliminating things out of the daily. Your brain in its pure reptilian state is designed to keep you alive that's really all it's designed to do we're teleological yes that's it so you're basically your brain goes your brain just goes

okay the blender that's sitting on the counter not going to kill me don't have to worry about the blender right the ceiling above my head not going to fall in on me because i've seen it not fallen enough that i haven't heard anything to make me change i haven't 30 things so i'm not even going to think of it so you don't even think about the ceiling right so your brain is looking for ways to categorize things that you don't have to think about at all it's just what looking to categorize for example the minute you say yeah no for example how are you doing well hang on but when you when you go to a clothing store when you go to a clothing store, when you go to a clothing store, right, and you see the person coming towards you, salesperson, what are they going to say to you, Colt?

How can I help you today? Can I help you find something? Blah, blah, blah. And if you know what you're looking for, you don't want to deal with them, are you already just waiting for them to shut up before you can say, nah, I'm good. I meet them at the pass and say, I'm just browsing. I'm not, whatever.

Yeah, I'm good. I don't want you to come near me. I'm good. Right. But you to come i'm good right but you see them coming and your brain has already programmed you the point you'd already know you know exactly how this interaction is going to go right i already know i'm getting mad right now thinking right just thinking about just thinking about right so we if you are working on the phone as most realtors do because we have to call leads and you and you do that i don't it doesn't matter what you say on the front end if you end it with

how you doing today that is every telemarketing script from the from the police benevolent association to uh an insurance salesman to the solar people to everybody in the world how you doing today so whoever you're talking to immediately characterizes you as somebody they don't want to talk to i end end that call. Now. Yeah, totally. It took me years to get up to confidence in the people-pleasing-ness. I'm a bit of a people-pleaser in my soul. It's that Canadian in me.

The minute I hear that now, I am quicker than fucking Shotgun Willie, like a quick drama guy. You're doing him a favor by hanging up on them what i do is what i do is tell them how terrible their pitch is i'm like bro as soon as you said how you doing today and that down tick and it's always it's the same temper the same tempo how you doing today i'm like i know you were telling market i was done with you before you even open your mouth doesn't matter what you're selling you can even call me and tell me you're going to give me a

million dollars i wouldn't even hurt it i've already hung up the yes because my brain is categorized so if you are someone that sells via the phone when you when is the last time like for example again when's the last time you called one of your friends and said hey chris it's john how are you doing today never when i call you i'm like yo what's up hey hey what's happening i mean whatever when you call somebody on the phone build familiarity put them in a positive state to receive whatever you're saying by talking to them in a way that their friends would talk to them don't talk to them like a salesman because you're going to lose them so that's that's my little tidbit for that's one of the most valuable

people call you at like 7 30 in the morning they always call in the morning it's like 7 30 in the morning it's always a police fund and i'm like you. I always say I'm on a federal do not call list. I'm on the federal do not call list. Oh, I'm sorry. Thank you. And they're done. I don't even do that. I hang up on them.

God, it's so annoying. But the point here, the rules of the slide. So what is your kind of, to get on that, build something constructive. If I call you and I want to sell you whatever bullshit, I don't know. What am I selling you? Huh? It doesn't matter. Widgets. Call it widgets. We'll go right for business school widgets you're selling me yeah because you would have to have something you know hey john what's going on um do you have

any interest in buying these fucking widgets i have like literally like i'm not i have okay i have two techniques for that that i would say number one is build familiarity by talking to like a friend which is you know hey i'd be like uh when you answered no i'd be like i'd be like chris hey it's john what's happening man and you're like so now instead of thinking salesman you're thinking that yeah you're thinking that who is this person but now what are you subconscious you're going to do to to figure out where i go in the filing cabinet yeah you're gonna listen intently to me yeah to figure out who i go in the filing cabinet. You're going to listen intently to me to figure out who I am. Now, the second thing I would do is I call it a double question

because it makes them skip a beat. It's like, hey, it's John. I just saw you on our website. We're surfing for properties. I'm just calling to see what we can do to help with your home search. What are you looking for in a home? I don't even give them a chance to respond, and I damn sure don't waste their time asking how they are.

How's the weather? What was go? I'm going to skip their brain by telling them who I am, why I'm calling. And then I'm going to ask them a question that does not end with yes or no. Yep. And it damn sure is not. What can I do to help you? Cause then it's like, Oh, nothing.

I got, I'm just browsing. I'm done. I want to know what you're looking for in a home. I go right to that. Bang, bang, bang. Because now it's like, you know know and it skips their brain because again most times if you use that technique they're waiting for you to to stop so they can tell you i don't need any help by just browsing but you're asking them a question that they cannot answer in

that fashion yeah so for real estate i think there's particular ones because you can be useful and people don't always need a home they could be investors whatever right so if you were to say hey did you check out this property on this? Like if you have something. Yeah. Right? Like if you have a little bit of a value add. It's all about familiarity.

It's all about familiarity. I saw you were looking at this thing. Did you get a chance to look at this other one? Yeah. Whatever. Something. Oh, I didn't do. Oh, is that a good deal?

You always have to have value add. If you don't have any sort of value add, if you're not bringing anything to the table, you're not, I mean, you can close deals, but you know, in real estate,

some of the best thing is calling and just creating a database with them. And you know, how can I help you? That kind of stuff. And then go to the store, you know, it might be a year, but I know a guy,

he made 300,000 his first, uh, uh, probably 18 months. First year did nothing, but just know a guy, he made $300,000 his first probably 18 months, first year did nothing but just create a database of value adding for him. And then in that six months is when he made $300,000. Yeah. Well, I mean, it gets back. I think people don't do that.

The card we're reading was practice is simply preparation for success. If you are in any type of sales business, you should be running your scripts. You should have a written script. Now, again, I don't like A to Z scripts. I like, you know, when we teach people here, it's like I teach them an A to Z script is checkers. We teach chess and every piece has a place. And this is when you play that piece, but you play a hundred percent how you practice. If you don't bother to practice and you play like shit, you can't come or anything. You should not be surprised. So if you are not in a team environment find yourself in a in any type

of sales agency find accountability accountability partner and if you don't have an accountability an accountability partner at least do this call your voicemail every single day and read your script as fast as you can into your voicemail because then at least you will internalize it because the worst thing you can do is sound like you're reading something. Yeah, that's the worst thing you can do. Or say, hello, how are you today? Hello, how are you doing today? Hey, how are you doing today, Chris?

Yeah, if you hear this and you're still saying how you're doing after this, that's your fault. I literally hate you and I don't want you to ever call me again. Just quit. You're done. You're done. Next card, winners expect to win. They expect victory and they expect success. Again, if you don't believe in yourself, why is anybody else going to believe in you? It's just not going to happen.

Demand it of yourself. Demand that of yourself. Not for yourself. Of yourself. Of yourself. If you don't believe in yourself, Jesus, you're in the wrong business of anything. No kidding. Encouragement and hope are the two most powerful qualities

that any person can provide to others. I love this because, you know, we just did our awards for Simply Vegas. And a big part of those awards are what we call the brand awards. It's our top 10 agents in the company. Yeah, I noticed I didn't win one. Yeah, you didn't win one. And it's the top agents. And the reason we call them the brand awards is because these people are running such huge businesses and doing so many deals that they really are the brand. They are a representation of the brand out in the marketplace. And I kind of read the same speech that I wrote every year for it. And a big part of it and the part that resonates to me is, you know, as they are creating new paths, they're reaching back to pull others forward. And I think that with all of your success,

if you're not doing something for somebody else, the success becomes hollow very quickly. I think so. People ask me why I still have a team. You know, why do you still have a real estate team? 15, you own the brokerage, you own this, you own that. Why do you still have a team? Because genuinely the team is where I find the most joy. Taking these people and, and seeing my people from my team won awards the other night was amazing. It was so great. I take so much joy from that. And not only that, but just people that – so many people that got awards were on my team at one point or another.

Well, it's funny because there's two or three people like you in our company, and it was funny. Another guy, Gorton, sitting back, like he got top three, whatever. I don't know what he was, but he was more proud of his team. Yeah. He was there for his team as a cheerleader, and that's awesome to see. Of course. And that's it.

Telling somebody, hey, you look good. Have you seen those stupid YouTubers just go by and say, oh, driving down the street, you look amazing. Nice hat, whatever. Thank you. Oh, my God. You can make – That makes somebody's day, right? I love the guy – like the musclehead dudes are lending his car to guys.

Excuse me, guys. Save some chicks for the like the muscle head dudes are lending his car. He goes, excuse me, guys. Save some chicks for the rest of us. They start laughing. But it is like you make somebody's day. You do. Just do that to your clients and you'll have a client for life. Don't be disingenuous. Here's the other thing, though.

Don't be disingenuous. Don't be disingenuous. Truly want others to. The Eddie Haskell syndrome. Lovely hat, Mrs. Cleaver. Right now the millennials are like, who the hell is that? What's he talking about? I hate that fake.

Oh, look at you. You look so good. Blah, blah, blah. No, I hate that, too. It's this syrupy ingratiation thing. John came in today. Chris, looking good in that blue. I like that blue suit.

Sharp in the blue today, buddy. Sharp in the blue. He means that, right? If you mean that, that means a lot from somebody. When John says, Colt, what the hell's with that shirt that's stupid i'm like oh thanks john yeah trying to get me well the best the best what the best was as you know as as boys will be boys as they do like we have text groups and everybody gets stuff one of our guys sent to the text group the gq article on uh on how to shorn your testicles we we'll call it, is what it was.

And then Colt's response to it was, wow, warm shower. I would have thought cold. And my response was, dude, do not put a vet's purse in the shower because I know she keeps those things. Such a dick. I know that's what she keeps. But wouldn't you have thought cold showers? I don't know. Are we going to go there?

No, we're not going there. You had your chance. I'm sorry, guys. I'm coming with the high. I'm hijacking 30 minutes next week. We're going to end the show because I think this little tidbit was the most important one that I saw. No, here it is. Ready?

This is it. This is if you take nothing else away from this on how to win. Here it is. Ready? Winning isn't everything, but wanting to win is yeah so i have a a kid that just doesn't have a huge amount of competitiveness in her in her genetics in her dna i don't know where it comes from because i would shoot through concrete and i'll lose i don't like the words yeah but she just doesn't have it you can't you almost i don't know do you think that that's a just a do you think it's a learnable well it is

a learnable trait to be competitive want to win through sports we talked about this it's made manufactured adversity because she's never got to worry about beginning eating my polar bear right we're having to hunt with a spear she's in sports she plays basketball and volleyball but i think even at that it's still not i think some people are just gonna have that just maybe maybe she'll find something in life that she does want to right like if you don't maybe it's just another thing but it's just there are people though where your natural standing blood pressure rate is lower than others there are type b personalities oh yeah do you know the difference between type a and b people always kind of don't understand

how that works but type a and b is differentiated by locus of control so type a person feels a very internalized locus of control i am in the center of my destiny i control my destiny and it's not narcissism it's just where does the control everything that happens in this world is from my control my decisions equal my future is this world is happening to me yeah no and you know that's so type a A and B is a huge kind of, you know, figure out which one you are and how to work with that. Again, I think if you're not where you want to be,

I mean, ask yourself, do you really want to be where you think you want to go? Right. Because I really don't want a six-pack. Everybody wants six-pack abs. We all know what it takes to get there. Do we really want to get where we are? Well, it's 7 minute abs

no man remember the thigh master oh man well guys as always if you like what we do make sure you like subscribe give us a little review but if you like what we do tell a friend have them listen as well join our army of over 10,000 subscribers now

but if you hate what we did man tell two friends because it doesn't matter if you're talking good or mad. What is it, Colt? As long as they're talking about you. As long as they're talking about you, I'll see you next time. Except for Tom Hanks. Hey, it's John Gafford. If you want to catch up more and see what we're doing, you can always go to

thejohngafford.com where we'll share any links of things we talked about on the show as well as links to the YouTube where you can watch us live. And if you want to catch up with me on Instagram, you can always follow me at thejohngafford.

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