Escaping the Drift with John Gafford - Bumper boat fights and great marketing Ep.5

Episode Date: August 27, 2021

Learn and burn Entrepreneurship from serial entrepreneur John Gafford and his band of mayhem makers. From stripper poles to the oval office, business lessons are everywhere. This Week:How bumper boat's almost got me arrestedAre Canadiens really that nice?What you consume is what the universe serves upWhat makes good marketing?With Chris Connell and Colt Amidan

from the art of the deal to keeping it real live from the simply vegas studios it's the power move with john gafford what's happening everybody what is happening welcome to another episode of the power move here as always with chris connell esquire. Fair, fair, fair. And with the one and only, scotched up in the middle of the day, Colt Amidon. Welcome.

Cheers, guys. Yeah, you just can't get enough. So, man, Connell, I wish you were at lunch with us today. Oh, God. The one thing about Colt I got to tell you is, you know, it's a gift. You can always just seem to say the wrong thing.

So what came out of his mouth today was he goes, one point, I don't remember what we were talking about. I don't either. And this is the thing. John takes whatever and just totally. No. He says at one point, he goes, because apparently I've lost the ability to turn anything on.

Immediately it's like you go right to the wife, right? You have to. But do you? Do you? I don't know. I don't know. I've lost the ability to turn anything on immediately. It's like, you go right to the wife, right? You have to, but, but do you, do you, I don't know. John, John is that friend that he doesn't have the dirty mind,

but you have that friend who has a dirty mind. So you can't say anything without it turning into that. That's John, right? Like I'm sure you said some things that kind of forced that hand right there as we go along. John's going to create the deepfake of them just so that the moment won't be lost to the annals of history. Dude, I can't. You know, the deepfakes are crazy.

I can't wait. I cannot wait for the deepfakes to take over because then literally we can come on here and say whatever banana town thing we want to say because you can just go if it doesn't it was fake yeah if it's a miss it's it's you know deep fake that's what you get no yeah r kelly would be like no shoot that wasn't cgi yeah yeah wasn't apple wasn't me cgi yeah that deep break is crazy so the problem is that we already have an absolute society run by people that have no discretion or ability to discern truth from fiction, right? You get people and they send you links like, oh, my God, look at this. Look what's going on. It's like in the link it says, you know, fake news.org or whatever.

Like literally it's some website, it's a kid's basement in, you know, wherever. And, you know, they're just like, look, it says that Bill Grapes is trying to come after Mark Zongerbong. Did you say Zongerbong? There you go. It wasn't me this time. It was that brilliant Chris Connors. That's my signature move, and nobody can ever take it from me.

Because it's like Bill Grapes or Bill Gromps and Mink Zungerburn or Bonk Zongerping or the guy that everybody's afraid of from Facebook, you know, the Fourth Reich, you know, whatever's happening. You know, the guy putting chips in your vaccine or whatever you think it's happening. Those people that write in all caps and scream everything they say on the Internet, they are just going to be fed a 24-hour stream of everything that they want to hear and say. Well, you know, the power move is actually brought to you

by the Dunning-Kruger effect. I was going to be like, by the war of the worlds, by HG Wells. It's the sponsor we have. You know, speaking of which, they made the Pfizer vaccine. It's now FDA approved. Right. So where do you go from here if that was the holdup? I don't think that was the holdup.

I think now, so there's this interesting thing with people that say they doubt evolution, for example. I don't want to get into religion, but people that say, I doubt evolution. I don't believe evolution exists, even though you can kind of watch it happen under a microscope at a macroscopic level, right? So we know that things evolve. There are things like down syndrome that are a form of evolution people just don't understand what evolution means just means gradual changes over time and if they fit then they work better over time and that's what's going to kind of procreate whatever there's this old saying that if you found a fossil record that completely bifurcated two periods in time what's that word mean did you just say bifurcated two periods in time. What's that word mean? Did he just say bifurcated?

I did. He cut it in half. There it is, kids. There's your Scrabble word, bifurcated. Can you use it in a sentence? He bifurcated. So people say, oh, why are there these big gaps in the fossil record, 5 million to 10 million years?

And John's about to be an archaeologist here soon. He's going to understand how time and fossils work, whatever. But at the end of the day, you said, okay, if you found one that was 7.5 million, perfectly bisected it, now you just have two gaps in the fossil record. So at the end of the day, it doesn't matter sometimes. It's just going to double down on what people. Colt, are you asleep?

I think Colt's asleep now. Drink it. Did I just kill him? No, I was just going to say, I mean, but it causes blood clots now, right? No, but now all of a sudden. That's the new thing, right? The FDA is now in on the conspiracy. So that's what I'm saying.

When you find something that splits it in the middle, right? When you find the thing, the gap, the thing that gaps what you were worried about. Now that's just another layer of the conspiracy. It's no longer, oh. Can we agree to one thing when it comes to this real quick yes if we were a band colt would definitely be the bass player can we agree with that you gotta sing so fucking i'm the face of it god i'm the lead singer i think he's like triangle triangle tambourine all kinds of yeah different sousaphones'm going to be like, what's the little redhead that plays all of his music by himself?

Beck? No. The new Andy? Carrot Top? No, no, no. He's redhead. It's funny you mentioned, because I want to talk about that today. It's funny you mentioned, so you said people in their basement.

I don't know if you happen to see this, but this is like, this is where we're at now, boys. This is where we are, the modern economy. Two kids in Texas, 9 and 11 years old. They're minting Ethereum, cryptocurrency, in their garage. They made $32,000 last month. You know, good for you guys. You know, it probably took the people in the stone age a while to, you know, pick up bronze and figure out why it was valuable, but that's how I feel sometimes.

I don't get it. I feel like a stone age guy. A lot of times your NFTs are worthless to me. I don't understand. Okay. Let's talk a little bit about that. Cause I actually bought I know NFTs this week. I did, I did this. I bought NFTs. And here's the truth. I bought crypto for the first time to purchase the NFTs. And I got to tell you, I felt like my mom trying to Zoom. Oh, absolutely. So after we met with the crypto mafia the other day, one of them gifted me 25 of these coins. He did?

He just got gifted that. He just gifted me 25 bucks worth of these coins. They're a buck each. And I'm sitting there, and I'm like, oh, my God. I feel like one of those people that got their first Beanie Baby. Oh, man, this could be my moment, right? I look at it as like pogs and stuff. I mean, I don't know.

John sat there for, what, 20 minutes? I did. Trying to explain to me. I'm like, I comprehend it. Yeah. But I don't comprehend it like where is i guess like you know he's like well tangible intangible yeah like a michael jordan trading card right like i actually have it yeah like you're showing me something that's a picture

of i and they're selling like we saw one that was selling for $500,000. Well, some of the crypto punks are like half a mil. Yes. American dollars. It's wild. It's crazy. And what I was trying to explain to Colt, and this is kind of what I got from the general consensus from those guys, is essentially on mint day, which is what we had last week,

we minted our chibi dinos. If you're watching this, chibi dinos to the moon, buddy, to the moon. And, uh, as we're going through this, I'm kind of learning on the fly, like, like literally learning as I'm flying the plane. And so you go in and you mint, you mint your dinos. All right. So first you got to buy the crypto, which is a whole nother thing. And that was where I was literally like, felt like my mom getting on Skype. And, uh, but you mint your dinos and like and there's certain combinations. There's randomness to it. There's only so many combinations of certain things.

And different traits that you can have on your dyno are rarer than others. Yes. So if you get something that there's only 65 possible number 23s, there's only 65 possible of these eyes, and you start combining those rarities, well, your dyno starts moving up the charts on the rarity. There's only 65 possible of these eyes. And you start combining those rarities, well, your dino starts moving up the charts on the rarity. They sold out 10,000 of these things in 40 minutes.

And, you know, they sold a lot of Beanie Babies, and Ty made some of them more rare than others. I get it. What is... All right, well, here, okay. So let me tell you why I went with these guys and why I think this one has some legs. And I'm not, again, I admit right here, right now, in front of the world,

no idea why anybody does anything anymore. No, no, not at all. Including Cole. If I don't get it, I don't think half the people get it. We're not going to get it. So I go, and so you mint your dinos. I did get some in the top 5% of dinos. I'll say that.

I got pretty lucky with my little run because I did 10 of them. And the cool thing about these are, like, I don't get the CryptoPunk thing. There's no, they just exist in space. You have them on your phone. You have them in your wallet. You can't do anything with them. I don't get that. But, like, with this, he's doing something tangible because Sean, the guy that minted these, owns Jersey Champs.

So there'll be, like like an actual merch tie-in with these things. He's also gone to get some NBA players to then kind of captain these teams. And he's going to bring this from the, it's almost like, essentially it's like a trademark, I guess. No, no, no, no. It's not that. It's like this. An easier way to

explain it is like this. It's like the CryptoPunk ones that are selling for a ton of money, they're like baseball cards when there's no actual baseball players and or baseball league right all right what he's doing with the diet with the chibi dino ones is he's he's created the cards but now he's creating the actual sport the actual players in the actual league so he's creating something tangible offline that will give these hopefully some value going for it. Hey, Kanye made shoes that sold out. What do I know? Yeah, what do you know?

We got 90s stuff. That's it. I see Sean, this guy that you know that we've met. I'm going to have him on just to talk about this. Sean's a very smart kid, and he's making tangible. But this thing you showed me today, I mean, honestly, it's stuff like 1980 computer made. And I just don't care.

That's the question that I had time and time again with NFTs, is what do you do with it? See, here's the thing, though. Just like anything with a current demand, I look to that. And this goes for real estate. This is that Warren Buffettism, right? It's what's your moat? What's preventing somebody else from getting into that this goes for real estate. This is that Warren Buffett ism, right? It's what's your moat. What's preventing somebody else from getting into that valuable piece of real

estate. If you don't have an economic moat, in my opinion, I'm not interested. Like the other, like, like diamonds. I don't think there's much of an actual economic moat.

If you can't continue to control supply. Right. And geopolitics aside, the DeBeers company owns a warehouse full of diamonds. And they just release them as they will. They release them as they will. They're not actually terribly scarce. Right. And geopolitics aside, the DeBears company owns a warehouse full of diamonds that just sit there. Release them as they will. They release them as they will. They're not actually terribly scarce, right?

Right. And, you know, people have certain feelings about gold. I'll show my cards here a little bit. I don't think gold's worth a shit. I go, gold has some industrial applications. It's got some value for jewelry. But it's not actually valuable, right? Food's valuable. right food's valuable

ammunition's valuable yeah when necessary gold is that thing that people just kind of always agree is valuable you know that that's see that's a great point that's why nfts have value because scarcity builds value and things and the reason that gold has any value over any other ore is because it's more scarce than the other ores they mine out of the ground that's why it's perceived value is that does that help colt does that help you no not not with this people still want jewelry yeah no i i honestly i i'm a pretty i can wrap myself around a lot of things i think we all can and i'm i'm like including a neighbor this is what i'm talking about dirty dirty this is what i deal with every day he can't say anything i mean look if you walk across the ring with your chin out buddy you cannot be surprised you get knocked out you hear that you hear that

cold threw down the gauntlet le LeBron James. Yep, yep. But I think we're all smart enough, business people, and we understand things. This is something. Honestly, I sat there and I kept telling him, I understand it. I don't understand it. I don't comprehend it. That's the beauty of a free market is that you don't have to invest in it. If they made it a global currency and all of a sudden you have to imagine

it was the Federal Reserve and you're like, you can just print money. I understand why people take umbrage with those kinds of things, right? Right. If you're forced upon it. But having these things that are outside of your, you know, it's not going to affect your house value. Right. So those are the things where you have to pay attention.

These are other things that people invest in. People have always bought sports memorabilia and baseball cards and gold and other commodities or whatever. Options, things that don't exist, right? They're a contract. Well, you know, it's funny you talk about that. And this is, you know, Dan Fleischman, who's a partner of mine in Ever Bowl. He runs a mastermind group I'm part of. But Dan is making a huge investment.

Actually, he laid it out to the elevator syndicate last week into this new thing, which is cards and coffee. It's coffee shops that sell high end sports cards. This is a billion, billion dollar interest. I mean, if you I'm sorry, business, if you look at what some of these cards are selling for, it's insane. It just it's almost like there's so much money now and everybody has so much money they just have no clue what to spend it on well a lot of and let's just be honest like a lot of times young men they have these things when they were kids you just loved wade boggs you know when you were a kid that was your idol like i got to hang out with uh jose canseco

oh a couple months back how was that it was very interesting because I wanted to talk to him about like Ricky Henderson. He only wanted to talk about his MMA career. Shooting his finger off? No, he didn't. That was totally fake. What do you mean that was fake? He's got all his fingers. What? I'm sure you can sew it back on. No, because

I think that was faked. Was it? Somebody was, and I didn't bring it up to him because that kind of was burning on my mind. He wanted to show videos. I kept looking at his hands. I'm was, and I didn't bring it up to him because that kind of was burning on my mind. He wanted to show videos. I kept looking at his hands. I'm like, because I didn't remember how bad it was or whatever, but I don't notice anything. You know, you said Wade Boggs.

I actually got to catch in a game where Wade Boggs was hitting. Really? Yeah. When I was on The Apprentice, when it was done, you know, for a hot second while you're still on television before you get fired and then go on to the next season, you're a celebrity. Sure. You know, for a hot second while you're still on television before you get fired and then go on to the next season, you're a celebrity, you know,

for a hot second, you get to live the life. And I got asked to be in this celebrity baseball game in Tampa. You want to be in the celebrity baseball game. And it was like a bunch of dudes that could play. Wade Boggs was there. Jim Larry, it's a bunch of old Yankees were there.

It was Wade Boggs event. And they had a bunch of current, like Tampa Bay Buccaneers. Like at the time, Mike Allstock was there, a bunch of other guys. And they had a bunch of weird celebrities Tampa Bay Buccaneers, like at the time Mike Allstock was there, a bunch of other guys. And they had a bunch of weird celebrities that you would never know could play baseball. Brian Cranston was there. Oh, really?

And you know who could ball? I mean, straight ball who could play was the principal from the Breakfast Club. Could ball. Oh. You get the horns. That cat could play, right? He's passed away. Yeah, I know he did.

But like Desmond Howard. I mean, there's a bunch of like really famous people there. I'm like super scrub. So I get there, and I'm like, okay, what are we going to do for – they look at me, and they go, what do you play? And I'm like, dude, I haven't played baseball since like 15. I'm just here to look good and wear a jersey. They're like, okay, what did you play when you played?

I said, oh, I was a catcher. They said, great, you're going to catch. All of our knees are shot so you can catch. I'm like, okay um all right so like six inning comes around they're like gafford going in so i go in and uh first of all my dad had come down the first part of the story which is great my dad had come down to uh to see this because of course this is a dream it's we're playing in a in a the yankees park there in tampa where they have spring training and i go out to batting practice and it's operation don't look like a jackass that's all i'm trying to do and i'm taking cuts and i'm making i'm connecting with everything but i'm not gonna

lie the ball probably making it past third base i'm just trying to look like an idiot i go back to stance my dad's like you got to drive with your hips and i'm like dad that ship has sailed we've lost that we lost that but god bless him so anyway i go into the seventh inning and they bring in uh a guy named bob feller who is about at the time mid-70s he was a legend at the cleveland indians they bring bob feller in i'm like to pitch the cleveland uh protectors protectors or whatever um whatever it is now the cleveland constantinople you know what trust trust me if this cat was still alive he's calling the indians i'm going i wouldn't disrespect bob that way so anyway bob's throwing me kind of moon balls and i'm

catching what's all good right and uh everything's good bob makes it through two batters and he's done he's just tired so they take him out who do they call in they go for the they call in goose gossage from the new york yankees who is goose is in his 60s and can still throw in like the 80s i bet yeah i mean he's popping the glove i'm scared to death behind the damn plate and so here's the scenarios it sets up because fellow obviously gave up some hits i look up i've got i've got uh michael stott who's the fullback from the bucks he's called a. He's on first, right? And up comes Wade Boggs to the plate.

I'm catching. Goose Gossage is pitching. My mom is – I have pictures of this that are grainy. You can't tell because my mom has a new camera, quote-unquote. Rule of thumb. When you go to a life-changing cool thing, make sure that somebody else is taking photographs other than your mom with her, quote-unquote, new camera. new camera it looks like it looks like it was all she was missing was the

old timey portrait like well you moved i can't you're blurry this is a picture of billy the kid this is my son john playing baseball exactly so anyway bog smacks one to d bright i'm sitting there and up looks and he's going and i look up. I'm sitting there, and he's going. And I look up, and A-Train is now coming, and he's coming around third. And the guy that's been playing out in right field is coming home with the ball. And I had that instant thought of George Costanza in Seinfeld when he was playing, blocking the thing and injuring Bette Midler. And I'm thinking, it's almost baseball.

It's almost football season. I'm going to try to make a play on Allstott. He's going to kill me, but I'm going to twist his knee. And then I'm going to be public enemy number one in Tampa. So I end up stepping out of the way. But, dude, talk about being able to do some childhood stuff. That was a pretty epic day. Yeah, I think it's weird they're letting you throw bangers

at 80 miles an hour in a celebrity game. Well, I mean, I think those guys come out, and they're there to win. They're there to play. You'll never lose that competitive spirit. You've got to be a slow pitcher. 90 years old. No, although what's funny is the softball, they called her the lion. She won a gold medal with the U.S. softball team, came out,

and she pitched an inning. Jenny Finch out there throwing 100 yards. No, she struck all of them out. Every pro she faced, she struck out because they're throwing the rise ball. They're not used to seeing the rise ball. Would you rather go against a major league pitcher or Jenny Finch in the front? Major league pitcher. Yeah.

Yeah, because, I mean, they're closer. That thing's rising. That's scary. There's no chance. They're 15 feet closer. Yeah, there's no chance. It's coming quick. They're at, like, 45 feet or something as opposed to 60? Yeah, I think, I don't know. You there's no chance they're 15 feet closer yeah there's no chance it's coming quick they're like 45 feet or something as opposed to 60 yeah i think i don't know you got no chance

it's it's equivalent of a hundred mile an hour easily pitch easily but that thing coming up oh there's no way baseball i played like serious baseball do they call it baseball in canada or is it called curl uh you know what i have questions thatled. I have curled. Yeah, of course he has curled. How are we not asking that? Are you out with the broom? You know what? I have the broom. Do you guys think that? Colt's just asking me questions, so he doesn't say something fucked up.

Because now I'm thinking, could we get good enough to be an Olympic curling team? Absolutely not. Don't. We were having a discussion. If you had to pick one sport that you think you could get a medal in, what's it going to be? He went curling. Me?

Oh, man. Curling. I'd go pretend to be a, you know, I don't want to get into that. Winter. Yeah. Winter. What one would it be? Women's wrestling.

Is that what you're heading? I wouldn't be in any male category. I'd get molly whopped in women's wrestling, but I wouldn't like weight. What do you think you could do? Summer. Summer Olympics? If I had to go and try to medal in something. Shooting?

I don't know. It would have to be shooting. I mean, they're all so good. I'm going to go with. I don't think I have any chance at anything. It's the only thing you got a chance at. No, I think speed walking. I don't think you know any chance at anything. It's the only thing you've got a chance at. No, I think speed walking. I don't think you know how hard that is.

Yeah. No, but I think if I spend a year doing it, I could do speed walking and maybe learn how to ride a horse. I feel like they did a lot of them. The horse should be getting the medal. I feel like the horse should be getting the medal. I feel like the horse should be getting the medal. Bruce Springsteen's daughter, no offense, but your horse did 90% of that work. You know what?

I'll give you that one, actually. I do look at jockeys and go, oh, you really kicked that horse properly. Are you along for the ride? But you know what? That'd be hard to be 90 pounds. That was the hard part. That was starting to sound like Winnie the Pooh or Tigger. Oh, I could do that.

Oh, I could do that. Do you know how hard it is to do basically anything in the Olympics at any level that's outside amateur? I'm sure you saw it. It's viral. There's a video of the ping pong guys. When they go around the table? And the guy is actually going around the table.

Yeah, that's bananas. I was the Boyd School of Law ping pong champion for 2010. I can appreciate. Yeah. I am a fairly decent Boyd School of Law ping pong champion for 2010. I can appreciate. Yeah. I am a fairly decent Boyd School of Law. That's not Hooters University. That's William S. Boyd School of Law, unlike Twin Peaks Academy. I feel like Twin Peaks would have better ping pong tables.

Yeah, but no. I'm sitting there. I love ping pong. I play tennis. I play racquetball. I play batting. And a lot of these sports are all the racquet ones. So watching these people with these little paddles going at that level.

It's been in and out. It's like you don't understand. Your brain has to be completely reprogrammed. I think I'm attracting racqueteurs, we'll call them. Can we call them racqueteurs? People that would play with racquets? I think racqueteurs would mean something else. Well, it means something different.

I know it does. But I went with racqueteurs. Raccoteurs. Not racqueteurs. Raccoteurs. And ones that would play with racquets. Racketeurs. Not rackenteurs. Racketeurs. And ones that would play with rackets. You know, Webster. Come on.

Let's get this in there just to make me look better. Yeah. But I got two guys on the team right now. One of which is on the Nevada National Tennis Team. And the other guy is on the United States National Paddleball Team. How do you wind up with that? Well, paddle, so not to disparage any of his accomplishments

because that really sounds amazing. Here it goes. But paddle is a sport that I just kind of learned about, and I'm a racket, you know, I'm a racqueteur. And it's so... See, it just flows. Webster's like one paddle court in town. You know what paddle is, right?

Yeah, it's kind of like racquetball. The P-A-D-L or whatever it is. So I didn't even know about it. It looks fun. It's kind of like a mix of pickleball or tennis or something. So the more, like I played for the Las Vegas Scorpions for the team handball club. Now, Americans a lot of times don't know what handball is.

Handball is the one sport that if Americans started to give a shit about would be gold medalist every year for the rest of time. See, I'm going to argue that I think there's a lot of sports that if America cared about would be cool. No, no, no, this one in particular. I agree. Do you know what European team handball is? It's in the Olympics.

What, European team handball? No, I didn't watch the Olympics. I told you I watched the Olympics. Amazing. It's the best. It's one of the most fun sports you can play. So I played for Las Vegas' team, and we'd go play San Francisco and Los Angeles and New York and all that.

I played for the Las Vegas Scorpions. It was a team here. It just disbanded because the coach, a German guy, it's a very European thing. So a lot of the people that play here, they go play on San Francisco's team or elsewhere, or Phoenix. What it is, is it's a ball that's kind of like a little smaller than a volleyball. But you can dribble like a little smaller than a volleyball. Okay. But you can dribble like a basketball. And you get three steps and can dribble. And you have to jump before a line and throw the ball into a net where there's a goalie.

That's it. See, why did I think handball was like hitting a ball against the wall? Team handball. Okay. So that's handball. That's like prison yard stuff. Okay. Right?

And then team handball. See, I'm a gangster. That's why I know that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was going to say like hard in the yard. handball. That's like prison yard stuff. Okay. Right. And then team handball. See, I'm a gangster. That's why. Yeah. I was going to say like, yeah, there's a sport called European team handball. If you took a bunch of D one basketball players, they would just dominate. They would crush because they're so big and tall. And these little European guys, you got to be quick.

And it's very physical. It's a really physical, hard hitting game. Like you can wrap people up from behind. It's kind of like lacrosse where Americans really haven haven't excelled or embraced that's coming buddy it's coming my boy is all about it it's coming handball handball is one of those sports that could could make that one day all right i get it yeah it's awesome but anyway so back to you colt riding horses in the olympics give the uh horse a medal that's all I'm saying. You're saying if you had the right horse, that's all you'd need. And a year.

And a year to learn how to ride a horse. All right. I think we should start a GoFundMe for Colts. Are you kidding me? Do you know how expensive that is? We are all not. We don't have enough money to be in that sport. That's a billion.

Question? Yeah. That's all expensive. You'd be like the Venus and Serena of a question. You'd like that for for middle class kid from Utah. Good for him. They'd be like a horse in a dream. And I just, just, just a boy, just a boy is horse in a dream.

And a glue farm that keeps getting horses taken. Oh God. Yeah. At some point, it's not going to be the horse's fault. There was a guy. Yeah. There was a guy that went. He medaled in winter and summer now.

One guy. I think I could do that being on the horse and the curling team. I think I could be number two. I could be the second. I think probably only American. I'm sure. Well, maybe not. I'd be world.

There are people that actually curl, though. It's like saying I'd be a good shuffleboard player, darts or whatever. The minute you play something that's good at darts, you realize how bad you are at darts. Yeah. That's all muscle memory. You do it for a year. I think you could. I bet I could be top.

I could be on Team USA's dart team if I played for a year, too. Have you ever seen that thing? You know, we could do a GoFundMe because the dark team would be way cheaper than doing the Equestrian. The dark team would be pretty good. A lot of pints. I don't drink, though, beer. That's my problem.

So what right do you have ever talking about playing dark? That's a good point. I could get drunk and do curling and possibly win a gold medal. If anybody's interested in Colt Spritzer or Mike's Hard Lemonade, Dark League. Dark League, let me know. White Claw. White Claw, cloth you uh sponsor truly ghoulies i don't know where this was if it was a meme or whatever my wife showed me this it was like the accurate flavor descriptions for for seltzers oh my god and it was like

strawberry if strawberry had a battery and the battery was out banana drove by a banana truck once you smell a kiwi while licking the stack off a tv every time somebody yelled out the word pomegranate loudly while you're drinking soda water exactly every time i have one of those sets or those those those things all i can think of is hey buddy you're uh your soda's out there's like that's all i think every time you do that that's kind of story because that's all they all taste like this is the worst cherry coke i've ever had that's it's dreadful i don't get how people drink that stuff i mean i will just because it's light and whatever it's there well speaking you know speaking of light uh colt your birthday last weekend up at park city how was was that? It was light. Nice. Lit. Let's go lit.

No, it was a good time. John does not like Park City. I don't. Nope. I love Park City. Park City. Park City Chili's especially. Oh, yeah. That's all right.

Chili's. I'll give you Chili's update because you want a Chili's update coming for you. The demand letter went out this week to Chili's for the money they owe me from my car. You know my goal? Here's my goal. I have one goal in life. You got a check from Chili's? No. I don't want my check from Chili's for the money they owe me from my card. You know my goal? Here's my goal. I have one goal in life. You got a check from Chili's? No, I don't want my check from Chili's.

I want what did Chili's do to John Gafford to be trending? Like I want that search to be trending across the board. Who's that cracker barrel that fired that guy's wife? Remember the cracker barrel employee that got fired? And that guy wrote that thing, the management? Why'd you fire my wife? That thing with that guy at that place? No, no, Birdie.

Birdie or Deborah or whatever, some guy wrote into Cracker Barrel, and it went viral. Oh, my God. It went, I mean, stupid viral. I thought you would know immediately. No, no. So this guy's wife got fired from Cracker Barrel,

and he's like, after 20 years of service, why did you fire my wife, Cracker Barrel? And then the internet lost it. You know how the internet can do that? If it catches a little bit of service, why did you fire my wife, Cracker Barrel? And then the internet lost it. You know how the internet can do that? If it catches a little bit of fire, it's a forest decimator. It was on every, if you look it up on your phone or whatever, it is one of my favorite stories ever. And I was thinking about it this morning.

I'm like, I wonder what happened to his wife. I wonder if she got a good job. Whatever happened to Birdie or whatever it was. If she was going from Cracker Barrel, I don't think she's working at NASA. It was so funny. There's something about it that people just resonated with them. Like, how could you do this to her? I think Cracker Barrel had to, like, issue a statement on it.

Oh, God. Like, I think it was a real problem for their business. That's the best. When things go so crazy that they actually have to give. A public announcement. Do it for Chili's. give when we come back let's talk about i want to talk about marketing a little bit because i saw some stuff this week bad marketing just drives me insane and i saw some stuff this week that was just bananas so we're going to take a quick break we'll be back in just a minute with more colt more chris and uh probably more col. That became a punchline.

The Colt started laughing. Hey, it's John Gafford. If you want to catch up more and see what we're doing, you can always go to thejohngafford.com or we'll share any links that we've things we talked about on the show as well as links to the YouTube where you can watch us live. And if you want to catch up with me on Instagram, you can always follow me at the john gafford i'm here give me a shout

and we're back back back back before we move on to talk about marketing i want to talk a little bit about the cracker barrel thing that you said that we should have known all about. Cause I didn't know all about it, but I, but I feel like I should have, cause I have this issue, which is I tend to, you know, I'm a man of action. If you will. A, uh, I tend to not sometimes when it comes to me, I will think things through very clearly. And then I will act when it comes to my family, I tend to act very quickly, which is why I've almost gotten a fist fight in an Idaho amusement park over some bumper boats, which is, that's another. Did you ever hear the bumper boat story? I'm not sure I did. Oh, he was pissed. Okay. All right. All right. Let's start with bumper boats. All right. So we're in Idaho. We're at this theme park.

And my wife is, we're like, oh, there's bumper boats. Let's go to the bumper boats. It's going to be fun. Blah, blah, blah. It's fun. Family fun park. And this little, it's called Silvertown, I think it was, in north of Coeur d'Alene in Idaho. And we're there.

Me and the kids all get in our own boat. We go out. There's this, in this redneck, this like fat, chunky, goofy redneck. I can tell from looking at him, like this guy. And I saw him tell his giant, you know, overweight wife, like, look at these people over here. Look at these people. He does his own research.

Yeah, exactly, exactly. You know, he is both an infectious disease and Afghanistan politic expert. Definitely the same, that guy. So, you know, we get in the boat, we start going, and this dude pins my wife against the wall in her bumper boat and they have the squirters on her and sprayed her. It was a cold moment, by the way. Sprayed her. My wife didn't spray her.

I was going there, but I don't have that. I was fighting. Oh, God. No, but he's squirting her. There you go. Much better. See, see what it's like to live utilizing the water spraying apparatus on the bumper boat to squirt water h2o at my wife and he has his bumper boat positioned in a way in which her bumper is this clear enough

cannot be uh she can't move no and i can't get to her yeah and and i can't get to her because of where she is so he just literally she looked like she took a shower getting off this thing and i'm yelling at this guy from across the way i'm like you need to stop and he's like what laughing is like whatever it gets done and we pull back in i've i got my watch off already i'm literally i my wife's like my eyes are bloodshot red my there's i'm just steaming let there be warrants and i just let my arrest war is about to be declared on the bumper boat land i go with this dude and he said for this wife and i don't i'll put this way i was so mad i don't even remember the confrontation i don't remember what i said i don't remember anything about it all i know is my wife sent my daughter over to say daddy please don't hurt this

man that that is the only thing to save this guy my wife thinking very quickly on her feet was still please daddy don't hurt this man my daughter because he of course that someone pinned my wife against the wall and squirted all over her, John. I'd be pissed. I'd buy that one. He's putting her bump and my bump and her bump together. He's joking, but this is something that would come out of his mouth. No. Well, yeah, now you see how it feels.

Every time, I'm just going to start doing it to you. And I just looked up, guys. What would come out of his mouth, John? Yeah, I just looked up. yeah i just looked up the world record for fast walking was one mile and five and a half minutes it's purely off of getting a form because they're really just jogging yeah i totally could do that if you would like to donate to colts pull a larry david and like lift your feet yeah i'm totally going to be an olympic you have to be why i could be you have a heel in the ground

at all times yeah i could do so back to what i was saying so i am very quick to come to the aid of my wife and i have been known to at times do things and overstep my boundary and make situations let's just call them i don't know what's the word i'm looking for or worse okay um and for the viewing audience if you don't know john he's only about five seven 143 pounds he looks tall but he's yeah this is it's all cgi on the camera if you're watching this on youtube it's all cgi i'm not a big guy but but no so so i mean is that an issue that either one of you guys have time to hear this because i do it all the time nuclear i had some guy when ava was young That was Tailing me in my car and almost ran me

And was doing it on purpose And a little baby in the back seat You know I have a little Carrera 911 And I had a baby seat in there The car I had was a single dad I mean we're on the Harley but come on So I don't know if they were just trying to be jerks

Whatever but I ended up stopping my car And like running after their van as they like flew around me Because they were just trying to be jerks, whatever, but I ended up stopping my car and running after their van as they flew around me because they were pretending like Ram me with my daughter in the car, which is a dumb thing to do in a country with more weapons proliferating. That was the only time I almost got arrested on a flight. I'm on a flight one time when Roma was probably two, and the kids sit with mom in the three seats over here and the dad's over here on the other side. when Roma was like, Roma was probably two. And we're doing the kids sit with mom

in the three seats over here and the dad's over here on the other side. Enjoying his life, yes. Yeah, this older guy in the front of it, this older man with his wife was in front of it and he stood up to turn around and like so many times before, you see people,

because my kids were really cute when they were little, you see people play with your kids. Like, oh, aren't you cute, buh-buh. The guy turns around and goes to my daughter and goes, stop kicking my seat just and points at it like that i lost it on the flight it was like flight attendants having to hold me down and the whole way we're on the flight there like i because john's duct tape no no no no no didn't get that bad i piped it down a little bit, but I'm seething.

And it was one of the situations where, like, technically the road they were in, the old guy and his wife were here, and then my kids were a little catty corner behind me. So I'm like, pretty much eye level with this guy. And I'm leaning forward into the aisle the whole time going, when this plane lands, I'm going to murder you. Like, it's done when we land. And the plane lands, and I never felt so bad and I'll tell you why this is why so the plane lands and the dude just grabs his stuff and skirts

off the plane because he's convinced I'm gonna murder him in the tunnel and his poor wife like he makes he's running so fast she drops her stuff at which point my son stops my now my son who at the time was like five it starts helping her pick her stuff up. And the lady is like, I am so sorry. I have never been so embarrassed in my entire life. And I instantly felt terrible for her. Yeah.

And it was just, it was dreadful. So I almost got in a fight on a flight, but two years ago I, I got, I had to talk to the police. I had to do all this stuff because I hit a guy. Oh God.

On the flight. Well, I didn't. So I'll explain to you how this happened. So grandma's funeral up in regina saskatchewan canada where i was born i haven't been back to in years great years great i'm flying from here to calgary calgary to regina and the flight from there you did that's why you can't avoid the road i can't roll that i'm just going to show you guys how it is because i keep my mouth shut you guys sit there yeah he was going over to see his grandma's

vagina where are you from chris i'm from vagina everyone's from china so anyway i'll call it regina just for everybody um so i'm on this flight and there was a, a tribal sort of dance or something in Las Vegas. And there were probably 20 Aboriginal, you know, native Canadians that were in Las Vegas. And the plane was held up an hour cause they were waiting for them. Okay. And so we sat there. So I had a connecting flight from Calgary to Regina, which I was now late for Jesus.

So it's him on this plane. It's not me. Not me. So I'm on this plane. So I'm on this plane and's not me not me so i'm on this plane so i'm on this plane and i don't like so i'm on this plane and i say to the flight attendant we go to get off and i'm like hey our flight's now late because we had to sit here for an hour can you call ahead to this next plane and let them know that we'll be coming on she goes no we can't do that but go to the front of the plane and try to get off first and see if you can make it on the next point there you go next flight so i hate when people are like rushing up the aisles yeah but i'm like so there's about six of us that are late for our connecting flight actually and one's an older lady i mean like older like 75 years old and i get her bag she can you help me so i got her bag

and i'm holding her bag i'm gonna walk it up with her and we're all going to go up this pig of a man just to this day i would pay a lot of money just to have one mma fight with him just a pig of a man just a fat flowing over into the seat with his fat pig of a wife and they were just monsters they blocked the aisle and they go no wait your turn i said excuse me just the flight attendant yeah just tell me the acting like person in control on this airplane, said we can go to the front. No, too bad. So everybody starts coming up, and I'm like, oh, this is a bunch of Canadians on the plane,

the rudest people I've ever met. Because one lady says, well, if you wanted to be up here, you should have bought first class. Well, wait a second. I thought Canadians were the nicest people. Go through Canadian customs sometime and tell me if you think Canadians are nice. Really? So whatever it was, just everybody in that front row was on this Marie Antoinette kick or something. We're on West Jet.

Some first class is an extra nickel, and I probably just forgot to hit the button. It's whatever. So I'm sitting there with this lady's bag. I'm holding it for her, and I'm like, excuse me. And then everybody's all piled up, and now it's a lost cause. So this fat asshole in front of me gets in front and then starts blocking the tunnel as I'm trying to walk by. Excuse me.

Can you move over, sir? I didn't call him a fat pig, but I wanted to. There is nothing worse than a blocked tunnel vagina. Oh, yeah. Regina blocked tunnel. I can't get through that. I penetrated to get my way to Regina. I just can't. Which is anatomically correct. That, my God. Just a can of penetrated. I can't get through that. I couldn't penetrate it to get my way to Regina. I just can't.

Which is anatomically correct. And it's his weight that Regina's late. Oh, my gosh. So this guy's blocking this aisle. Him and his fat wife are blocking this aisle. So every time I go around him, he moves into that direction. And like, you know, whatever. And so I fake to the left.

He's fat ass steps over. I go to walk around to the right, and he shoulders me into the wall. Oh. Gives you the hip check. I two-hand this guy like I'm trying to separate his head from his body, and I two-hand him like a little cross two-hand like boom, and I drop him.

He hits. He shakes the causeway into the airport. He shakes it. He's so fat. I hit him so hard. He smashes in the wall and drops. Just that, oh God, what have I done? I'm a fat pig.

But how much of it was what have I done and how much of it was now I'm going to sue you? Well, sure, sure. Yeah, of course. So this fat, tough guy calls the police. Oh boy. Meanwhile, I had rushed over to get to my flight. Do they ride horses to the airport? No, flight's delayed.

Oh, it's delayed. So the Mounties can get there. So the flight's delayed an hour. So I didn't even need to get up that front. I didn't even have to have the conversation. But anyway, so I just walk around and come back. I go to check on my flight. They're like, were you in an altercation over there?

Oh, boy. They're looking for you over there. Yeah, what's your definition of altercation? Did you say yes? So anyway, I'm like, yeah. So the police came over. I have to talk to the police. They're like, oh, we can can't let you go this is to go to my grandma's funeral in canada and so what city was it this was in uh saskatoon saskatchewan so they won't let me go and so i

talked to the cop i give my card i go that guy actually hit me first so now let's let's go he can i'll press charge against him let's do this i'm an So I talked to the cop, and I let him know what happened. And he gave me the most Canadian answer I've ever heard in my life. And I almost started laughing because it sounded like something on my kid's softball team. Right. Oh, he was just sauntering, eh? He sauntered over there, eh? Oh, he's just sauntering and got in your way, eh?

And so I told him what happened, and he let me go. So there may be an arrest warrant for me in Calgary, but I ruined that guy's life. And as he's walking by, as I'm talking to the cops, he looks at me like, you look good. I can hold you. What are you going to do, eat me? I couldn't believe. People don't get punched anymore.

No, they don't get punched enough. People don't get punched. If you get punched once in a while, you won't realize how much fun it is to get punched. You actually monitor what comes out of your mouth if you get punched once in a while. you won't realize how much fun it is to get punched. You actually monitor what comes out of your mouth if you get punched once in a while. I think you should be able to punch people. Like, honestly, I tell that to people all the time. If somebody actually could come at you, you wouldn't be talking like you would.

You wouldn't. A little bit of freedom for a tough guy. I've had two people come at me, and luckily— Thanks for taking the reins. When I went to Regina once, two people come at me in Regina. You got a bunch of guys coming at you. No, but I actually ended up on Worldstar. You know what that is?

You know what Worldstar is? Of course I do. Yeah, I ended up on that because somebody in front of Bellagio tried to spit on us and punch us. Yeah, you pay extra for that. Yeah. Mispronounced porn hug. Is that what it is? Kuman?

Is that Kuman? What's this? Kuman? Well, but they don't get punched enough. We told you about Kuman. About the Indian hacker Kuman, my pick. But no, people need to get punched in the mouth every once in a while.

I truly, truly, like, you guys are lucky because you have wives that maybe might calm you down in that situation. My wife's the opposite. No, okay. You're getting punched in the mouth by your wife. Oh, absolutely. I was going to say our wives won't attack us. Yeah.

I don't fear the chanclas in my house. Yeah, the chanclas coming out. No, my wife's always like, God, thank God. God always looks out for us because if that would happen to us, like, you know, there's been times. But Regina, it's nice up there near Regina. I'm sure you can find a lot of guys to come on. Come on.

Come at them. Come at me. That just comes out of Regina. Oh, my God. Good thought. Good thought. So I am going to be in the Olympics next. Do you guys know who Craig Goliath is?

Craig Goliath? Craig Goliath. He's a local bodybuilder. He lives in Las Vegas. But he is one of the largest men alive. The guy is an absolute freak show large. I think he's 360 some pounds jacked out of his mind. Just,

just massive, like to a level that you can't understand unless you actually ever see Craig Goliath. Right. So there's been a rash of bodybuilders dying. I just followed generation iron and just, you know, whatever.

And somebody, so he put a comment like, Oh, it's sad to see this happening on our sport or whatever. And just the list of people are going, yeah, it's sad to see this happening in our sport or whatever. And just the list of people are going, yeah, you're next, motherfucker. That's terrible. Why?

Why? Why spew the hate? First off, that's a man behind the thing. Obviously, he knows what risks he's taking with his sport. Sure. Second thing is, you know, like. Yeah, he would squash you. I would love to see you do anything but run up to him be the guy mr glides can i get an autograph jimmy you know these guys are such chicken sheds online

right it's just the culture it's just so ingrained that you get free shots of people you know it's funny i was actually talking about this yesterday which was you know i kind of get two kinds of dms on i get lots of dms i bet you do i bet you do from kuman but i'm saying but i'm saying the net the negative dms i get kind of fall into two categories and the categories i'll get are number one like oh i bet you got you inherited everything i bet you everything was given to you i bet you got it and it's like that's ridiculous in dms though yeah and direct messages like people just see my stuff it doesn't know me anonymous. Yeah, but doesn't know me. And it's like, oh, I'm sure, you know, oh, lucky you, lucky you.

There's a lot of lucky yous. I mean, I get a lot of it. But the negative stuff I get, I get that, lucky you. And then I get, you know, and then I get people that are like, what's worse than that? Where they're like, man, I just, I could never do what you do. I can never see that. I'll never achieve what you achieve. And they're so self-de self defeating in the first thing. And I think the answer is for kind of both of those people that

had this issue with wanting to tear other people down on the internet. I mean, if you want to look at the core choice of it is, I think people see success or they see the future and they think it's such a big thing. And it's like, I want it all right now. And it's like, dude, you can't change the world if you can't even make your fucking bed right and and i tell people like maybe the people are negative like i could never see doing that it's like bro you can change something today you can change what you're eating you can change what you're watching you can change what you're listening to you know what you know what broke my heart today i'll tell you what broke my heart today on this on the lines i talk a lot

about you know what you consume dictates what you put out, right? I'll show you your net worth. Same thing. But, you know, if you talk about what you read, all those things. Man, like, probably when I was in my early 20s, I loved Social Distortion. That was one of my favorite bands, Mike Ness. I mean, I just loved Social D. Social D, man.

Loved Social D. Of course. Right? I know you love Social D. What kind of monster doesn't like Social D? Hang on. This is what broke my heart. Would ride around screaming the lyrics to social D songs. Today I'm sitting there working out and I've got the lithium playlist on

whatever my gym and on comes a ball and chain. And I start singing along with it and I start thinking to myself, God, these are the most self defeating lyrics that I'm, that are coming out of my mouth about how bad life is, about how downtrodden I am, about how I can't take anymore. And I'm like, holy shit. This was my mantra in my early 20s, which was probably leading to some of my results.

And I had to turn it off. I'm like, I love this band, but dude. Do you want me to sue Social D? I think we should. But the point was, I couldn't even believe how negative the stuff coming out of their mouth yeah but here's my point and if you're regurgitating that it's affecting you whether you want to believe it or not sure i listen it is well i think there's a lot of that was a dr william dyer was big into that talking about the the intention behind things like music do you know william dyer

no he was like uh i don't know what happened to him, but he was kind of a positive message guru from the 90s. The first time I ever saw him on PBS, I just turned it on, and he was talking about, like, scripture or something. Something came up, and he was talking about it. And I'm like, oh, one of these guys, never mind. And then he, like, quotes Buddha. Yeah.

And then he quoted, like, the Bhagavad Gita or whatever. Oh. Oh, okay. So he's just talking about global sort of ancient wisdom or whatever so i listened to him and i always took what he i thought he was actually a very wise message when i was younger i wouldn't know maybe now but he had that sort of thing like his son was listening to like you know rap some some kind of violent rap or whatever some like nwa or which which i loved growing up as a kid oh me too but he was like okay now you know he did this thing

about now what are the words saying what are the messages how strong do you feel when you hear that and this sort of thing about the intention of words yeah that you don't even realize the effect is having i see some of that stuff oddly is positive i don't know why when i put on nwa or put on easy well see i think here's no here's the difference though i think nwa if you listen to lyrics and jesus we're gonna get slaughtered listen to these three white guys talk about nwa but anyway the reality of it is, if you listen to the lyrics, and jeez, we're going to get slaughtered for this. Wow. Listen to these three white guys talk about NWA. But anyway, the reality of it is, is if you listen to NWA, I think it was just about anger. A lot of it was about anger and exposing, you know, if you watch the documentaries, it was about exposing what was going on in their life. Right.

If you listen to Social D, man, it is self-defeating, commiserating music. And, you know, and it got me thinking about this, man, if you are someone that is when someone is down in the dumps or someone is at a place where they're low and you feel your role in their life is to say, yeah, you know, this isn't fair. And yes. And you're commiserating. If you're going to do that, you need to do it for people in a very short span. And then you need to start trying to turn that back in a positive direction because you're not helping people by commiserating with their misery. Yeah.

You're just extending it. You're not helping people. No. And that's why, like, I always tell people, the worst thing you can do when you get out of a bad relationship is go hang out with your friend who just got out of a bad relationship. Oh, yeah. You're spiraling.

Because you're just feeding off of each other's energy. And their energy is everything. You know, the music. Like you said, you eat bad food. You drink a lot. You know, but honestly, like, I don't drink a lot because I woke up the next day and it just put me in a bad mood. Made a great Worldstar video.

Oh, great Worldstar. I didn't like the social D like John does, but, you know, it's. Social D was amazing. That was my jam. That was before my time. That was funny. That was before my time. Dude, go revisit it and find me a positive social D song.

They just don't, I mean. The music is poppy, though. It's kind of up in the music. That's the danger. It's all poppy, but you're screaming, you know, and I can't take any more pain. You're screaming it like, I kind of love songs. If you look at,

you know, pictures of you by the cure, that's always makes me feel good. Yes. Even though it's very sad. Yeah. Like there's a lot of very sad music. I did get broken up with once a long time ago and drove around Atlanta.

Listen to that. You kind of feel better because it's good to have that commiseration about some stuff i don't know some people i think hear music differently i think if the music has if it's major chords and it's positive and it's kind of up it doesn't really matter what the lyrics are if you're not internalizing you may be right maybe i just haven't noticed probably you probably listen to an array different type of music right where i think a lot of some people don't realize a lot of people just sit there for all day long, just consuming this and you know, they'll eat bad. They'll listen to this music. And like you said, I mean, how many people just think you're given everything in life and they'll get on Facebook too though. And they'll get on their echo chambers

to talk about what a piece of shit she was or what a piece of shit he was. Have you been on left book like Facebook groups no where it literally doesn't matter what the content is i can predict absolutely every single thing there's something that surprised me because i'm like it's such a stretch right how you could have got that from that but there's so many things when you jump into other people's echo chambers and watch it it's amazing especially if it's not your echo chamber and just to watch how it spirals into self-enforcing well that was the most that was like the most interesting thing that happened this week was trump did that big rally in alabama

and everybody's like you know yeah and then he comes out and he gets you know yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah and you know and then he says hey everybody needs to go get the vaccine. And they booed him. That was wild. Did you see that? I didn't see that. Oh, yeah. The whole crowd turned on him. And all I kept thinking to myself is, what an absolute mind twist for these people and the things. Like, this is the guy, and we're saying this, and now he's telling me something else.

Like, what do we do now? But he's literally not the guy, though. You know what's funny? For that crowd, he's the guy. else. Like, what do we do now? But he's literally not the guy though. You know, it's funny for that crowd. He's the, he's the guy, but not him as a person. Him as an individual is not anything to that.

Right. It's a concept, right? It's all very, very abstract. So him doing something like Donald Trump wouldn't do that. He's like, I'm Donald Trump and I'm doing this to be like,

no, you wouldn't do that. That's not you. Like, don't, you don't tell us what you are. We tell you what you are and what you stand for. Yeah.

You know what I mean? And that, that happens with a lot of political ideologies and pundits and things when our heroes always fall. It's like, it's because they're not the thing we thought they were. And that was the whole concept of, you know, a lot of literature and a lot of things,

right. Where you find out the person behind, the wizard behind the screen. They knew Cuomo was Italian when they elected him. Hey, I'm not sexist, I'm Italian. He's still in there giving his speeches. I'm like, isn't this two weeks up? People will turn a blind eye to a lot of things in life. As long as it doesn't create any more dissonance

with the message, right? Well, but that was my point though. So here you essentially have, if you want to call it a cult of personality whatever it is with trump you have essentially the leader of the cult of personality is standing there and comes out and says something that's completely against what that i mean let's face it somebody that's going to go to a trump rally today he's not running for office he's not doing anything that they're that that's a cult of personality yes and him to say get vaccinated these people lose their minds that's there's got to be a little ripple going through people's identities this week in the state of alabama i

think there has to be yeah imagine just being a scientologist imagine anytime one of these people are i'm not speaking on that yeah but just imagine the thoughts and views of chris connell are they like a powerful group? So I'm pretty sure the membership is decimated. Who knows? I'm not. No, but I don't.

Sorry, Tom Cruise. Fuck you. I don't have nothing, but, but those people, when, when they deviate from the message,

that's what they're risking and they don't. And they won't because there's too much wrapped up in it. Cause there's individuals that will have differences of opinion about a certain thing. But they'll toe the line. Because they don't want to be excoriated over kind of not following us. Wait, stop. What's that word? Excoriated.

Use that incentive in there, please. Excoriated. No, I think you'd get that word. The best part about this is the people that are going to listen to this are going to say, do you learn anything from that podcast? They're like, Scrabble words. Excoriated. That's it.

I get those words. That's all I get. I think you get that. Exsanguinated means that while your blood drained out. Wow. He actually taught us what it is. He's actually using them right, I guess. I just thought he'd thrown them. We're not noticing. See, the funny thing is, I think he's going to come here at some point and just start making words up.

We're just going to, like idiots, we're just going to nod like, yes, I hear you. Bro, that word was totally cromulent. That's a completely cromulent word. I would never make up a word that was so cromulent. Well, let's, you know, talking about, talking about evoking emotion. Let's get, you know, I want to talk about marketing in this segment because I got something yesterday that was just such a piece of crap.

It was unbelievable. And it was a, um, it was an invitation or not invitation, but it was like a, an ad from a large trade group that I happen to be a piece of crap. It was unbelievable. And it was an invitation, or not invitation, but it was like an ad from a large trade group that I happen to be a member of. And it was for their statewide convention, which is now on Zoom. And this ad consisted of saying, the header of it was, there's no reason this can't be fun.

That's all it said. And it said, on Zoom on these days, and then here's your seven people. And most of them, I don't know, right? Why would you? So it got me thinking, you know, as real estate agents, which is what our core competency in my business is, is we're paid to be great marketers.

And so many people are so incredibly bad at it. And I just want to talk real quick, like what makes a compelling ad? For me, what makes a compelling ad is has to do a couple of things. Number one, it's got to tell you very, very quickly why you should either show up by this product, choose this product, take an action of some sort explains what it's in. What's in it for you quickly, quickly. Don't make it about me. Tell me exactly, you know, tell me why I should do this, but two, it's got to invoke some sort of an emotion. You got to want to belong. You've got to, it's got to make you laugh. It can. You got to want to belong. You've got to,

it's got to make you laugh. It can even make you cringe. Now, the best ad I ever did is my teddy bear ad and I'll be running it every year. And, uh, and for those of you that, you know, will never see it, essentially what it is is it's a teddy bear laying there with a giant butcher knife in its back, uh, bleeding. And I just sent it out on Valentine's day and it says, you know, not feeling the love from your broker. It's time to simplify. And when I send that out, I get absolute hate mail from agents about how offensive it is, which forced me to then put out my public apology to the teddy bear community about how sorry I am and all the things that I'm gonna do with my wokeness to not offend the teddy bear community further. And I more i get more i get more legs out of that yeah than anything else and you know i think for me it's like if you're if you're

not evoking an emotion and you're not explaining to me why you're doing it don't put it out that's a great point john when you think about that like let's say somebody was pissed off about your teddy bear which a lot of people are two years later when when they go hey i'm thinking about switching brokerages they're not going to remember a goddamn thing about it no they don't know your name now that's another name i mean one of the best ads we ever ran was uh real estate brokerages suck we suck less but it's branding right branding this is marketing right that's a whole different thing so that's a part of branding that is huge that's a really valuable proposition, right? Because they don't know why.

They just know they know the name. Yeah. Do you know why you know the name of all these businesses that you are aware of? Yeah, because you're exposed to it constantly, and it's just on the first – It's whatever. It's on the top of your head. And then do you remember if they had ever done anything that you didn't like unless it was Chili's?

Chili's? Going back to camera one. Chili's, let me tell you something. It's going to turn out like a wrestling promo. Oh, yeah. Chili's. Chili's? Going back to camera one. Chili's, let me tell you something. It's going to turn out like a wrestling promo. Oh, yeah. Chili's. I'm going to tell you something, Chili's. Margarita chicken, brother. Trying to serve me

eight margaritas and then doing my car. Nice alcohol policy. See, everything's fine and then you have to bring up Chili's. Like, I'm fine, I'm calm, and then you do that. That's because that's a power move. Power move. Fair, fair, fair, fair.

Whatever. We got to get a noise. We got to. We got to get a noise. But it is. Marketing is, a lot of people don't realize that. You sit there, and you said that story, and I just hopped on Instagram. Did you see it?

No, I did see it. And I laughed because I'm like, he's so true. Right. But then you start looking at stuff when, you know, when someone brings it to your attention, you start looking and there's a lot of ads like that. A lot of things. I'm just like, what, what is, what am I looking at? You're not compelling. You're not invoking any type of emotion for me. And you're not, and what's worse, you're not explaining what's in it for me. I don't know what you've got to like like agents will send it like real estate agents will send out stuff and puff about here's my stats here's this here's this here's this right tell me what's in it for me yeah no if you ever read that book called the secrets of great rainmakers by jeffrey fox yes i have

great book great book he was talking about he was doing this security pitch this first security system and there was eight seven people pitching before, and she was the eighth, the sales lady. And she walks in to this meeting and sees, you know, a group of executives downtrodden from the seven prior pitches about how great we are, blah, blah, blah. She walks in and goes, what do you guys need, right? And they go, huh? They're waiting for this.

We have this technology, the blah, blah, blah. She's like, what do you guys need? Where are your issues? Because everybody has a product. It's just, does our product make sense for you? Because if you have holes, we'll fill them. I'll show you how. What do you need?

And they're all like, so she got the deal. I know where you're going. Daddy will fill those holes. Going right back to Regina. Going back to Regina. Right back to Regina. Regina knows how to fill holes. Well, let's wrap up before we to fill holes. Oh, boys.

Well, let's wrap up before we go further down. Before it goes real. Yeah, Colt's going to get us canceled, I'm sure. If not today, some point. Well, if you like what we do, man, make sure you like, subscribe, whatever you got to do, and come back and see us again. And remember, if you like us, tell a friend. But if you hate us, tell two,

because it doesn't matter if you're talking good or bad. It's when they stop talking, you got a right fair fair fair all right boys we'll see you next week see you bud hey it's john gafford if you want to catch up more and see what we're doing you can always go to thejohngafford.com where we'll share any links that we've things we talked about on the show as well as links to the youtube where you can watch us live and if you want to catch up with me on instagram you can always follow me at the john gafford i'm here give me a shout