Escaping the Drift with John Gafford - Dissecting 12 Rules for Life EP 47

Episode Date: May 5, 2022

The Power Move Podcast with John Gafford Episode 47 Part 2Learn and burn Entrepreneurship from serial entrepreneur John Gafford and his band of mayhem makers. From stripper poles to the oval office, business lessons are everywhere. This Week:Colt and John take a dive into the personal development book, The 12 Rules of Life by Jordan Peterson.The Supreme Court LeakWith Chris Connell and Colt Amidan

from the art of the deal to keeping it real live from the simply vegas studios it's the power move with john gafford back again back again for another fun-filled episode of the power move we're a little short today well i'm telling you, the studio's a little empty, a little quiet. A little empty. It's just me and you today, huh? I know.

I feel like it's, you know, for those of you guys that are big Connell fans, I want to go ahead and turn this off to skip to another episode because

Go on to the next one. Connell's off doing Connell things. He has decided to take off and go climb mountains. What is it? It's the three highest peaks or something in where's he at in the uk he's in ireland he's like i'm gonna climb the three highest peaks in ireland

i'm like is there is there is there high peaks there or is it just their mounds this seems to me like an excuse to go to get away it just was a this was a europe vacation he probably went with one of his best guys he did he said his buddy hit him up and said hey did you ever hear about this thing and he said you man i want to go do it so uh we can burn time and we go do that that's pretty much it so so today it's mano a mano with colt we are not going to take a deep dive into colt's mind um because that's a dark and scary place and i just don't know if i can do another another couple of weeks of cult streaming down my down my social media feed laying on the couch i just i don't think i can take that again that cracked me up

i think i was walking into mgm and that's the first thing i popped up on like jesus rock bottom of course rock bottom of course today what we're gonna do man is uh i remember how excited you got i was like what am i gonna do to excite you? We were supposed to have my dude Sean Kelly on today. Sean broke his foot playing a celebrity basketball game with Floyd Mayweather. He's like, I'm going to dunk on Floyd. I'm like, dude, I'm pretty sure you could dunk on Floyd from your knees. But yeah, you broke his ankle. It was brutal.

I saw him on social media. That hurts. Yeah, I texted him back and forth with him today, and he's not going to make it. So I promise we will have Sean on another day. But in my genius, I try to think, what got Colt the most excited? What got you riled up? What dug deep into Colt? What are we going to talk about now?

Yeah, what did we do? And it was like the most excited I can remember him being on an episode is when we did the 48 Laws of Power with Jordan Peterson. I mean, you were literally sitting there planning like your evil empire takeover of the universe as we were reading those. I still get excited about that. I know. That was like three months ago, four months ago, and I still tell everybody, go read that

damn book. That was so amazing. I know. But the thing about it is, is that's not his only book, which is the upside there. So today, we're going to take a deep side into the 12 rules of life by Jordan Peterson. And it's a book that kind of tells you how to have a happy life. Some of which I will say, I agree with the thinking behind it. Some of which is probably going to get us canceled. So with further ado, we don't have Chris here to drive us back.

Okay. Well, here we go if we're gonna get canceled let's go ahead and get on cancer get canceled because we can get canceled without chris well yeah we can just prop chris true so we still have to say chris was the reason that we we should have got canceled tomorrow all right let's do this so it's still gonna be news tomorrow when this comes out it's the biggest news probably ever, and it's this. And I don't necessarily want to talk about the issue, but I want to talk about the whole reality of what just happened with the Supreme Court. Oh, I thought you were going to talk about the Golden Knights missing playoffs.

No, no. I mean, I've already blocked that out. Does DeBoer still have a job? Does he still have a job? Right now, he shouldn't. He shouldn't. He should be. Oh, God, never mind.

That dude should be. He should be. Yeah, he should. Whatever. I won't talk with the Knights, but I want to talk about more importantly what happened in the Supreme Court. I'm trying to get off the Supreme Court subject. No, no, no, no, no. It's OK. We're not going to we're not going to we're not going to we're not going to take a side and have protesters out front. What we're going to talk about is the concept of what happened, because the concept of what happened has never happened in the history of this country. Never should have. In the history, which is, I'm sure you guys have all seen the headlines

about Supreme Court to overturn Rover versus Wade. You've all seen that. And again, not going to get into the issue. The main reason I'm not going to get into the issue is because I don't like to talk about issues like that. I mean, it's not that I'm scared to talk about it, but I don't want to talk about it unless I have somebody here that has a counterpoint.

Because otherwise we have kind of an echo chamber. And you usually have the same thought. I mean, I can always play devil's advocate, but I'm not financially responsible or set up like you are where I could get canceled for the rest of my life and be okay. No, no, no.

Because the point is of the show, again, to have a constructive dialogue. But I'm not going to dive deep into a hotbed issue unless we have somebody here that views it on the other side. It doesn't make any sense. But what I do have an issue with is the fact that somebody, some human,

took it upon themselves to take a draft of an opinion from the Supreme Court, a draft, nothing done, a draft, that it was circulated amongst the justices, which is how these things have been decided since the creation of our great country, and decided in their own little brain that they were going to be the savior of America and leak it to Politico is what they decided. And I really genuinely hope that they figure out who did this and that they disbar them from ever practicing law because for them to do that, they obviously

didn't learn anything in law school because it's got to be somebody that went to law school. They're clerking for one of these judges. It's not the janitor. You don't have some random guy seeing these documents at all. The janitor didn't happen to find an open laptop in one of the offices. This is somebody clerking for one of the more than likely liberal justices and just decided to be the liberal savior and decided this was their pathway to fortune, fame, or self-redemption,

or martyrdom, or whatever the hell they thought it was. But they obviously didn't learn anything in law school about the sanctity of democracy and the sanctity of our court systems. And they violated a trust that has been around for hundreds of years and will likely now cause a major problem within everything on how the Supreme Court gets handled. It's a huge deal. And you can sit there and say, oh, no, this is the greatest thing that happened, right? Like either side, if this was flipped and this was something for the other side to happen to, they'd be pissing and moaning and everybody should have a right to that.

It's complete BS that this got leaked out. Whether whatever side you believe on, on this debate and this issue, being that this got leaked out. Whatever side you believe on on this debate and this issue, being that this got leaked is an issue that all Americans should be mad about, in my opinion. I agree. And the problem is most people can't see the forest through the trees. Right. They're just going to get stuck on the issue and want to.

If it goes with their issue, they're going to be, you know, it's, it's, it's, they're not going to care as much because they're winning. And if it's against their issue or their point of view within that issue, then they, they feel, thank God, you know, that we can scramble and try to do something, even though nothing's going to get done. Well, here's the thing. I mean, if that genuinely was the majority decision, the only thing that can be done is through, you know, acts of domestic terrorism, threatening the lives of these justices, trying were saying they wanted to get rid of the filibuster and then pass some federal legislation that protects uh the rights that goes along with that that's not going to happen because again horrible deal because then when the republicans have it oh boy then you don't have the filibuster against it people people get short short-sighted right and they just see well in the moment this amazing

idea because we're going to excuse my language but we're going to fuck them, right? And it's like, okay, well, cool. Well, when something flips, which it will always go back and forth, you're going beyond the other side of that. And the problem, just short-sighted, and they don't think about stuff. And this is major.

I mean, not too many people were speaking about it, except for the very smart, you know, political, you know, people that were just, we're talking about it. We kind of, we, we kind of see the way through certain things,

right? Like we don't look at short size stuff. I mean, you ever. And so, you know, I think it's funny that we both came in. That was the first thing.

Like, can you believe this? Can you imagine, I guess it's the squad. People are saying that AOC and that little crew are saying, that they want to get rid of the filibuster and pass legislation quickly. Can you imagine when they lose the House and the Senate, which is almost based on where the economy is. It's pretty much guaranteed.

I mean, look, if you look at politics cyclical with the economy, whichever party is in power when the economy goes to crap like it is right now, they're going to get smashed. There's no way they're going to get, not going to get smashed in November. Sorry. It's just the way it is. People tend to vote with their wallets, you know, more often than not. And I've seen huge, huge Democrat people come out and say, they're not voting Democrats. And these are people that funded Hillary Clinton. These are people that funded, you know, Obama. Like, these are big-time Democrat, big-time money people,

and they're straight up saying the line moved too far left that you're now putting us on the right side of it. Well, I think, again, the point being, you know, let's quit talking about politics, but the point is this. Look, whichever side of this issue you're on, just understand that the person that did this is not a hero. Not good for America. They're an enemy of this country. They're an enemy of the institutions of this country, and they should be hopefully caught and prosecuted and punished or whatever they can do to them.

Moving on, let's talk about something good because, again, I like to believe that putting good out in the universe is good. And I want to, I want to help some people today. Colt, you included. Let's try to help. I need to help you Colt. I need to feel like you need some better advice for how to live your life. So let's, let's, let's jump into again, Jordan Peterson's 12 rules of life. And I love this cause I'm going to expect you to comment on every one of them. And there's one of them in here that I just can't wait to see. I don't have Chris here, so I'm not going to go off the rails as usual. Rapid fire. Rapid fire.

All right. So 12 rules of life. The first rule, essentially, is cultivating confidence helps combat interpersonal and social oppression. I love this, and I've talked about this all the time, and it's a great analogy. Do you know about lobsters, Colt? Do you know about lobsters and the lobster kingdom and the lobster world underneath?

I don't like seafood. Oh, yeah, that's right. You don't like seafood. Nothing from the sea. No, that's right. That's true. We're going with lobsters anyway. I don't care.

We're still going. Let's talk about the lobsters. We're still going. We're talking about lobsters. So lobsters fight with lobsters, right? There's a very territorial thing. When a lobster loses territory, it changes its whole physiology and the way that it thinks, the way that it moves.

Because the smaller the lobster is, okay, say a lobster loses a fight. Well, the lobster that wins gains a lot of confidence and kind of does a lobster little strut thing, right? Has a low stress going on, kind of strutting about as a lobster. The one that loses remembers the loss and now kind of goes into this walking around like, oh, crap, somebody's going to eat me. Somebody's going to kill me. Somebody's going to hurt me. Somebody's going to kill me. changes the physiology, not just the psychology, but the physiology of the lobster

and starts this ball rolling down a hill with the lobster. It'll be smaller. It'll be more curled up because the stress of always being in this, I'm going to get killed. I got to fight, screws with this whole ecosystem, screws with the whole thing, man, screws with the whole lobster's

head i think that's i've honestly seen that happen to human beings well that's what that's what we're gonna talk about like i have seen business people that i mean me and you kind of were both around a crazy time of las vegas when the 0607 crash right yeah and you saw people that were strutting around with their chest out just being so confident in themselves and then this came through and knocked everybody's on their ass right well not every not everybody but no it did it may we might have rebounded in five months right we figured out where to go from it a lot of people didn't. So I remember getting a gut punch for four or five months, figuring what the hell, and going and saying, oh, here we go. Now it's the foreclosures.

There are no's, right? But you saw so many people that were truly rolling around in $100,000 cars, chest up, thinking they're the man, and had that confidence, and that knocked them on their ass. They literally just kept letting it eat. And they are now, you see them and they're not the same person at all. Physically and mentally.

I run into people. I know agents out there that still say, you know, foreclosures are coming back. I'm like, bro, what are you talking about? There's like,

like, yeah, a lot of money on foreclosure. Yeah, me too. But it's like, what are you talking about? I wish. I had a lot of money on foreclosure. Yeah, me too. But it's like, what are you talking about? No, that's not. And you hear that all the time, right?

And it's like, you guys, the banks had not a, that was such a perfect storm, right? And we won't really get into that. But yeah, this happens not just in lobsters. I mean, confidence is everything. What happens in people is this. Like you have people that, again, I mean, people that are impoverished. This is why people that are struggling financially, the stress kicks in, and then the ball gets rolling down the hill.

Those are the people that tend to lean into vice things like drugs and drinking, and it just spirals and spirals and spirals and spirals down. That's a worse thing. Yeah. There is nothing. You know, I tell people on my team all the time, if you want to change your life, here it comes. You ready?

I'll tell you how to change your life, Cole. This is how you change life. You ready? Do this for 30 days and see if it makes a difference. Smoke cigars and scotch. No, don't smoke cigars and drink scotch. This isn't really going to help with you because you kind of walk it already. Right? But imagine the string is attached you kind of walk it already. Right?

But imagine the string is attached to the center of your chest right here. Right? And there's an imaginary hand pulling it up towards like a 45-degree angle straight up towards out over your head. Like under your nose and straight up in your eyes. 45-degree angle up. If you walk around like that, like just chest up all the time for 30 days, your life will be different at the end of that 30 days. Why? Because people perceive you differently.

You know, it's easy to find and easy to study. People don't bother to like research and train themselves how to walk into a room. How do you walk in a room, Colt? How do you walk in a room? Dt? How do you walk in a room? Dressed up and confident. Which you are always dressed up. I'll give you that. Colt always has, always rocking the suit, almost.

Always looking, you're snazzy. I'll give you the snazzy. But you are too, right? Yeah, I mean, most of the time I try to be. You know what, maybe not dressed up, but put together. I always tell people, if I go to a gym, I'm ironing my shirt, right? Like, yeah, it might not look nice, but you go in with a wrinkly shirt anywhere, people are going to be like, this guy's a hot mess.

You know, I just went to an event, you know, and it was a lot of power players around Las Vegas. And, you know, I was dressed really nice. And everybody made it a point to come figure out who the hell I was. Exactly. That's probably the least most important person there but everybody

passed by everybody come to me. Dude, it's so funny. I always think back as you read the books and it talks about you walk in, shoulders back. You got to smile. Lead with a smile. When I walk in and you don't don't know anybody walk in and smile act like you own the joint it's so funny i always think back there's a scene in the movie uh fast times or is my high where the dude is trying one guy damone is trying to tell his little buddy how to go on a date

and at one point he goes no matter where you go you act like it's the place to be and he's like isn't this great like like that and i'm, that is so true about walking into any room. I love that. If you just walk in and – Look approachable. Yeah. I mean, now look, you and I do have some advantages. I'm not going to lie.

We're both pretty tall. Yeah. Like we walk in – especially we walk in a room together. People kind of go, hey, who are these guys? Who are these guys? Which is funny because even like, what was that? Thursday night at the draft, which is pretty funny. So quick story.

We didn't even talk about the monorail ride. How did you like the monorail? I have officially now ridden the monorail, which is in Vegas. It's something I didn't think I was going to do. And you know what? Not bad. Not as bad as people make it sound. I'll tell you that.

I think that, um, I think tetanus takes about at least 10 days to show up. So I'm not sure if I'm out of the woods yet. We're going to see if we're there, but yeah. So we go to the draft, which was cool.

And, uh, took one look at that crowd and it was like, no, thanks. Yeah. We went, we went and saw my buddy Noel and his ice bar,

which was cool. And then I get a, I get a text that a good friend of mine or some good friends of mine are playing a private event over at Bellagio, which is across the street. So we went over to that, and it was Kevin Griffin from Better Than Ezra, Mark McGrath from Sugar Ray, and Emerson Hart from Tonic. And they play together as a trio sometimes for private events.

And it's cool because they just kind of play each other's hits, and it's a cool thing. I forget how many bangers those guys had. Yeah, it's hit fest, which is kind of funny. But anyway, me and Colt just go rolling up in there, walking in the green room, open the door, what's up? And what's funny is that we just open the door, and of course everybody in the green room, I don't know anybody at that point.

And they know everybody that's supposed to be there. Yeah, yeah. They're looking at you, and I'm just like, everybody in the green room, I don't know anybody at that point. And they know everybody that's supposed to be there. Yeah, yeah. They're looking at you and I'm like, where's the band? And they're like, oh, you're Kevin's friend. And it's fine. Right. Yeah. And again, I think it's just in a lot of situations, it's how you carry yourself.

I mean, I have walked in. I've gotten into a lot of places where I probably shouldn't have gotten in 100% based on how I carried myself. I think I was supposed to be there. Me and Scott were laughing. We were at Cromwell when it first opened. I was sitting at one of the bars having a drink because I knew one of the bartenders that had moved there from the Palms.

And welcome back, Palms, by the way. Oh, yeah. Excited about that one. We went by there on Friday. Did you? Yeah, I'll get to that in a minute. But anyway, we're sitting at Cromwell talking to a bartender,

and Scott said something like, God, I'd like to that in a minute. But anyway, we're sitting at Cromwell, talking to a bartender, and Scott said something like, ah, you know, I'd like to see Dre's, the new Dre's upstairs. And he was like, oh, I'll get you in. And he ran over and said something, and he came back, and as we were walking over there, he yelled, you know, ask for some, and you tell him. I'm like, all right, cool. Didn't hear a word he said.

There was supposed to be a name there. Yeah, dude, I walked right up to the guy on the outside, and there's a line. I pulled a little guy on the outside but there's a line i pulled a guy to the side i said you know hey i'm uh i'm john i'm i'm dave's friend he said come ask for tim i'm just making this shit up i said you guys would sort us out the guy was like oh yeah no problem man i got you yeah yeah took us through the kitchen up the service elevator and then dumped us in the club and it was uh it was uh it was it was interesting because literally not there's anything wrong with this but me and scott were the only two white dudes in the whole club yeah and when

dre started oh man which is cool which amen i'm good anywhere i'm good anywhere but you could tell there were some there were some folks in there that weren't too happy we were there right anyway that's another story but back to the palms which we can talk about which we did go to for on friday um i got mixed feelings about it man it was it that pretty much the same yes they have not they did not change anything thank god because if you've been to what is ver what was hard rock and now virgin they ruined that place um just told the client today, stay away from that. Yeah. Just, I mean, you know, it went from a, I mean, went from a beautiful room to looking

like, I mean, an Indian casino, which, which, which, if you've ever been to like one of those like weird side of the road, Illinois, Indian casinos, you know what I'm talking about. You know what they look like. And that's what Virgin looks like. So they did not, uh, you know, no, I will say in the decoration of the hotel, there's no tribal influence whatsoever, which I thought was smart. Because I just, it doesn't work in Vegas.

Yeah, it doesn't work in Vegas. But yeah, you know, a lot of the employees that were there were employees that worked there when my wife worked there and have now come back, which is cool that they came back. But I couldn't get my head around if I was, I mean, I was happy to see them. Right, I'm happy to see them. But then part of me is also like,

what are you doing here? You know? Especially, they sat there for two years for these jobs. Yeah, waiting for them to come back. To come back. I'll say the bartenders, I think, were different than the girls that were working the pit. The girls that were working on the floor that Gidget knew were bitter. They were already bitter.

And it's like second night and they were bitter. The bartender guys are like, hey, man, we got like five jobs. We'll just pick this one up because I'm not getting rugged again. You know what I mean? We'll come work some shifts here, but I ain't getting rugged. But, man, the girls working the floor especially, that is just, you know what i mean they're like smart yeah we'll come work some shifts here but i ain't getting rugged and but man the girls work on the floor especially that is just you know that's it that is the toughest thing like that's why i always say i need my daughter to leave this down because you can get wrapped up into jobs as a very young girl and make very good money with no education or nothing and it's very hard once you start hitting that mid-30s that's it to sit there and try to recreate your life again. And I tell my daughter

all the time, you're out of here and that's it. You, you have to have confidence in yourself to go start a new venture. And a lot of people do not have confidence and you can see it walking in. You can see in it. And it's funny, especially when you get into money crowds, because you can tell who made money off of being a business person and who now made money off of not even like tech, but like just different avenues that way. Because those guys still don't have confidence in themselves. And they could be rolling up in a $300,000 car or stuff. They get out with no confidence when the business guy that's made it usually they made it because of their confidence you know i'm gonna make a plea based on something you just said and here's my plea because i don't experience saturday night that i didn't love

uh friday night we tried to go to aria to go to catch that restaurant and i've never been there i figured i you know we'll go check it out and literally on open table there was like every time slot you could you wanted and so we get there and the hostesses are all young you know attractive but maybe 19 20 year old girls right and we got seated and they and they always see it like like I'm a big dude you know my wife's dressed nice But they see this weird deuce that's in a row of deuce tables. When there's these round booths everywhere. And there's two people sitting at every round booth, right? They sit you in the middle.

And they sit me in the middle of this weird table. And look, one of the things I always tell people, it's funny. My new thing is people say, what is the one thing you would tell your younger self? Like if you give yourself advice, it's send back bad food you're paying for. Oh yeah. And what I mean by that is people like, what?

That's like weird advice. I'm like, no, the reason I say send back food that's not good is because if you're paying for it, you should have an expectation that it's going to be good. And if you will settle for a bad meal that you're paying for, it's easy to send back.

What else are you going to settle for in your life? Stop settling. So I don't settle for bad tables. If you give me a cruddy table, you know, hey, man, I'm going to ask. I asked nicely. You know, I wasn't a jerk. I said, excuse me, I'm really sorry. I'm kind of a big dude.

You know, would it be okay if we got this table over there? Can you check? And the little 19-year-old waitress or hostess runs away and comes back like three minutes later, four minutes later, whatever it was, we're standing in the dining room and she goes, you can have this table.

And it was the four top next to the weird two top that I was in. I'm like, no, I don't do anything. No, I wanted to get that table. You know, it's,

and it's dude, keep in mind, this is not nine 30 prime time. It's six 30. Yeah. Like we were grabbing an early bite. Cause we want to go to the palms, right? This is, this is not 9.30 primetime. It's 6.30. Like we were grabbing an early bite because we wanted to go to the Palms, right? This is early. And I say, can we sit at – I'm sorry.

Let me specify clear. We'd like to sit at that table. And she goes, that table is reserved. And I was like – At 9 o'clock. At 6.30? Yeah. And every other table like this had a deuce in it, which. Yeah. I'm like, and every, every other table like this had a

deuce in it, which was crazy. I'm like, all right. Um, and she just walked away. Like it could care less. You know, I ended up asking the managers, I said, Hey, would you mind if we moved over here? Cause he walked by and this dude acting like he's running the front door at pure back in the day, gave me the same thing. Sorry. That table was reserved. And I'm like, I don't, I didn't see anywhere on anything where you could reserve a specific table. You're telling me that specific table is reserved. Table number 52 or whatever the number is, that table's reserved. The guy's like, yes, sir. So I was like, you know what? We'll go eat somewhere else. I went to Bardo and had a wonderful experience. But that was a long way to get to this. Here's my recommendation, Las Vegas restauranteurs, and here's what it is.

Stop hiring 19-year-old hot hostesses, and I'm going to tell you why. Because all they are is super bitter that they're not bottle girls. They're all pissed off that they're there paying whatever you're paying them instead of working at Hakkasan carrying out a bottle of Grey Goose to a table and making, you know, 15 grand a night. They're pissed off about it. It's pain. Every time I go to a restaurant in this town with a young hostess, she's pissed off that she's doing what she's doing. Conversely, you go to Joe Stonecrab and you have the maitre d' out front. How happy is he to see you every time you see him yeah what what level of service is he presenting you dude get away from hostesses get back to maitre d's and i think

that'll raise the level of service across the board here in las vegas or take a week and explain to themselves like you are the first point of contact for your restaurant that's probably making, you know, bringing in $20 million a year, you should have a good point of sales. Like, I went to the cigar bar. I'm at the cigar bar quite a bit on Friday nights. I had a bad experience, too. I was like, those are all reserved. I go, I'm just here real quick. Like, I'll be in and out.

They're reserved. They put us at some bar top right there. And I'm like, I'm not going to smoke cigars with my wife and my friend's wife. And I go, you have six tables that are empty. I will move. As soon as you need it. If you need, if you fill up three of the six, I will get up and move. He's like, no, no.

So finally, the guy that we always see there is like, oh, hey, Cole, what's up? I'm like, can I have that? He goes, yeah, absolutely. Sit there. All six sat empty all night. Oh, sure. I'm like, you were about to lose our business because of it. The point of contact at your restaurants or clubs or whatever needs to be on their game.

Well, dude, teach people to understand how much watches cost. To look at this. I'm thinking to myself, because we were dressed a little down Saturday or whatever, but I'm like, bro, just look at my wife's wrist. That's it. And he should have known, and that was the end of it. So forget about me. So moving on, let's get – we were all over the board today. Key insight number two, to ward off despair, endemic to humanity, people should take care of themselves as they would a friend.

So I think this is a good thing. I don't think people are empathetic enough to themselves. I think people are too hard on themselves. I don't think people give themselves enough credit. I don't think people give themselves enough breaks. I agree. I agree. And I think it's because social media and just the whole kardashian era that everybody like you could show somebody that made you know a hundred grand they're embarrassed that they made a hundred grand right it's everybody is trying to step on everybody else and it's what they're doing so much better and they just beat themselves up i mean i know people that are sitting pretty good in life and they beat themselves up daily because they're embarrassed of where they're at or whatever.

I think people need to have, like you said, a little more compassion for yourself and understand where you're at and kind of be a little prouder of yourself sometimes. Well, I think a good way to look at it is to give yourself better advice. And I'm going to read this on Screwed Up. And it says, there was a study in psychological science where a group of adults were asked to think about a spouse having an affair with a good friend. Researchers asked the participants

to imagine this betrayal from first-person and third-person perspectives and to offer advice. The study found that the advice the participants gave to others was more sage than the reasoning they engaged it

when they managed themselves being the victims of affairs. If you can remove yourself from a situation for a second and look at it from a third person, I think that it's a much better way to go. Now, for example, and I got a letter from somebody, I got a letter in the mail yesterday, a letter from a family member that basically said they were very upset about it bothered them. My relationship with another person in the family, it bothered them. And the point was, you know, you sit down and I'm digesting this and I'm thinking nothing matters in this letter except for the fact that my actions have negatively affected somebody, somebody in my family.

So rather than try to justify my actions, which wasn't going to, it wasn't going to win the longterm war at all. No, rather than try to justify it, it was better for me to just apologize for my actions and do better next time. That's all you can do i mean but but old but old but old me the ego would have kicked in fuck you let me tell you let me tell you all

about this person and what and why i act that way yeah you know it makes nothing better no and it goes back to the whole ego thing but i guarantee you the the advice that would probably be like oh you know maybe give her another chance maybe it was one off whatever but when you think about it in your own way you're like f her you know screw her get her out of the house type of deal on that study i'm sure that's what it was and yeah you know i when it happens to your friend it's like well what happened you know where are you gonna be with that yeah like look look at you gotta step back like and digest like you said digest my dad always says digest what was

said before you do anything digest it that's it a lot of times i'll change it and then like you said kick your ego out of it and you'll make a way better rational decision on business on life on spouses on everything dude it's like one of my favorite exercises when somebody ruthlessly pisses me off is i'll write i'll write them like a scathing email yeah and delete it yep write it down look at it i get it and throw it away i get it out i get it out of me yep and then i just delete it you know once it's done it's done i have the like chris once said i will i will say hang on a second i'm not not to cut you off but this deserves cutting off yeah because you got to forgive people you got it you got it you got to live and let live but there's one person out there I cannot forgive.

Fuck you, Chili's. Serve me six margaritas and then give me a dance and then tow my car. You towed the car, Chili's. I sent you. Do I get anything? Do I get any kind of result? No, I didn't forget about you, Chili's. If you're in Salt Lake City, avoid Chili's at all costs.

Chili's on Hill Drive. Avoid them. Avoid them. Avoid them. And if you live in Salt Lake and you're listening to this, please go in there and tell them, do you guys realize these guys every week on a podcast just smoke you guys every week? Dude, John Gafford. Exactly right. Go check out these margaritas one day

and take a picture. Let's make that trend. John Gafford versus Chili's. Let's make that trend on Twitter. That's way more interesting than Roe versus Roe. It sure is. All right, well, we're going to take a quick break. When we get back, we're going to talk about more of the 12 rules for life. Be back in just a second.

Hey, it's John Gafford. If you want to catch up more and see what we're doing, you can always go to thejohngafford.com where we'll share any links that we've things we talked about on the show as well as links to the youtube where you can watch us live and if you want to catch up with me on instagram you can always follow me at thejohngafford i'm here give me a shout back from the break welcome back to part two of today's power move my name is john gafford i'm your host to the left of me colt the bulgarian mongoose eminent it's the best one with that i mean dude if it ain't broke if it ain't broke this is the point of the show when i pander to you if you're listening to me on some sort of you know podcast device please give us a highest star you see we're just going highest star of you

and if you listen to us on the youtube make sure you do like and subscribe set that notification button when we do drop new videos at this if you're if you happen to us on the YouTube, make sure you do like and subscribe, set that notification button when we do drop new videos. If you happen to land on this one, there's a part one you can go search for. You can find that there. So everything on YouTube is always cut in half as part one and part two. All of the podcasts, of course, are just never-ending running. Today, we're discussing the 12 Rules of Life by Jordan Peterson. We've already talked about the first two.

And yeah, I think this is pretty obvious. Let's talk about rule number three, Colt, which is those who surround themselves with emotionally healthy people are more happy and successful in life than those who keep the company of troubled individuals. So far, this is number one, in my opinion, of what we've read. Okay, number three in the book. Number one in your heart. book, number one in your

program. Yeah. Number one in your heart. That's a good point. I, I preach this so hard to people. Um, people mentally drain you and that will make you make stupid decisions in life. You start comparing yourself against people that are negative and not doing well, I mean, it just creates a snowball effect that will ruin your life. I mean, and it's, it can be family. It can be anything, but, and that, that I get on a call with somebody and they're five minutes of negativity. That will just, it sets my whole day off. You can't, can't, you can't. I mean, I look, here's look, here's the biggest problem. I don't think when it comes to who you choose to surround yourself with,

I don't think people in most cases are willing to do the audit that they should. I don't think they're willing to look around and be like, holy shit, maybe I shouldn't be hanging out with the people that I've been hanging out with since high school that are still doing exactly the same stuff we were doing in high school. I mean, and here's the thing too. One of my favorite quotes is, just because you can't eat at my table anymore doesn't mean I want to see you starve.

Which what that means, if you don't catch the drift there, that means, if you, if you don't catch the drift there, it's pretty obvious, but if you don't catch the drift, it means bro, just cause you don't hang out with somebody and let them influence your life. The way that they have doesn't mean it has to be a hard stop. Doesn't mean you have to, you know,

you can drift away. It doesn't have to be, it can be the, what is it? The Irish goodbye. Where you don't say goodbye. You just disappear. disappear yeah it's a go-to i mean i don't say goodbye to people yeah i mean you know people think they think it has to be this like we need to have a conversation about the future of our friendship no it doesn't you just start surrounding yourself with better

people and when you're bad better people all of a sudden, guess what? I'm too busy to sit around on the couch and drink beers and hear the same stories again for the 50th time and play Xbox. I don't have time to go to the corner PTs and waste my paycheck in a slot machine and eat shitty food and get fat. I don't have time. You've got a good pizza there, though. Yeah, I do have good pizza. Is it good?

They have one called the Gilroy. It's the only one. It's good pizza. I disagree with PT's pizza. But no, you said it right. If you have an audit of your friends, and I do it every, like, I do it all the time, honestly. But, like, every two years I do a hard audit.

Like, I'll sit there and see Facebook posts of 10 years ago. I'm like, ah, those were fun times, but I couldn't still be with those people doing the same thing, right? And it's the same thing. It has nothing to do. You always grow. You grow apart. Sometimes you grow together, right?

But for the majority of the time, usually you're growing apart from people because they're not in your same situation. So I audit all the time. I think that's the number one advice in any life culture would give you too. Well, I think too, but it's not just the people that you're around at the bar or work or any of that stuff. The people you're around the most are the people that are coming down that feed on your social media because most of us stare at you know you got to take an audit i mean there's a couple of people in town here i'm not going to mention their name because that'd be a terrible thing to do but

it seems like the only go to social media look yes i come on here and i bitch about chilies because i think it's funny right hopefully you think it's funny even though it wasn't so funny at the time funny now but i don't you won't see a bunch of negativity on my feed you don't see me calling people out you don't see me bitching about everything you don't see me on next door talking about you know the strange man that's walking through the neighborhood that just happens to be wearing a hoodie you know what i mean you know like that's garbage and if those people if you have people that even you're connected to you're relatively close to that are consistently spewing out negativity down their feed like i love i love there's a couple people in town that love that are realtors that love to realtor bash

oh isn't it oh nice award you paid for and i'm like what dude why are you doing that why do you even care like what is that what does that all it does is paint you with this giant you're you're a giant hater paintbrush is all it does and it doesn't think so look down your feed man if you are feeding your head with negativity it's like a diet if i eat little debbie's which god willing one day science will catch up and allow us to do that and stay in shape but right now we can't if i eat little debbie's all day man i'm gonna weigh 800 pounds right if you're filling your head with a bunch of negative garbage what's gonna happen dude i like we talked about it before in this show i used to love social distortion the band i loved that band i loved them

until one day i actually thought about what mike ness was singing about lost my job don't have this it's just so most depressing stuff ever i'm like bro i can't even listen to this anymore not to say i always like uplifting music now but that was just too much social media is huge i just saw something the other day i go man all i've heard you rant for 10 minutes in social media you need to get off social media. Like I'm not even on social media. I'm like, what the fuck are you talking about?

And he goes, well, it's my wife that's on it. I'm like, God, tell her to get off of it. Like she's feeding you. Like,

well, you might not have a social media account, but if your wife's over here showing you every post and talking shit, who has time to talk shit on people? Oh God. Worry about yourself. Be a racetrack or a horse on a racetrack. Put your blinders on and worry about going forward.

I like that. And that's it. Good. Listen, that's a power move from the cult man today. I'm telling you. I'm blacked out. What did I say? The Bulgarian mongoose is just on it today.

I love it. Next rule. In order to find fulfillment and freedom from social comparison, individuals must become clear about who they are and what makes their lives meaningful. Then they can set their sights on doing better. One of my favorite things about this is, this is one of my favorite pieces of advice that falls in this category.

And you've probably heard it a million times, but here's the deal. You should never compare yourself to someone else today only compare yourself to who you were yesterday yep and that's it if you i mean somebody somebody will always have more somebody always have a bigger boat somebody always have more of this someone have more of this if you're if you are comparing yourself to what other people are man that, that is a one way ticket to miserable town. And the start starting lines on the same, right? Like that's, that's a good starting line is not the same. Is that what you said? Everybody starts at different points of the race, right? So yeah, maybe someone can finish a mile and you know, six minutes or or but somebody might start halfway and have the

thing and get it done in three you did amazing job getting six minutes just because they did three you don't know where they started at somebody might have a dad that floated them 10 million somebody might have the connections of a private school if you go to a private school you you're your starting line's not the same as the public school like small little stuff like that doesn't mean that you can't overcome those. It just might take you a little longer. So if you're comparing yourself to somebody, you don't know where they started at. So just, again, racetrack, blinders, run your own race.

You know, and Jay-Z actually said the whole thing. I don't listen to Jay-Z quotes, but I was in the shower one day, and it got turned on to it. And, you know, he sat there. He goes, I was never number one, really. I was just running my own race i just worried about this he goes everybody always had a better selling album of me it was yeah it was top three he goes but i don't know he goes dmx was always had better records than me selling he goes but i just focus on me i don't know but he said i think jay-z's records than you. I appreciate the sentiment.

No, no, over the whole thing. You didn't bring the computer to fact check today. But no, it was over his whole career he has, right? But at that given time, DMX, right? Fair enough. He's running a long-term race, and he's not focused on everybody else. It was a great thing. Fair enough.

No, I get it. I get it. I get it. They say that in order to find happiness, I'm going to read this also out of this little deal, which is interesting, and I can't find the guy's name. Let me find this guy's name real quick and who he is. Oh, I'm sorry.

It's a her. Emily Smith, the author of The Power of Meaning, Crafting a Life That Matters, says that you need four things, four elements, which are these, to be happy in what you're doing. And they need to be this, a sense of belonging to a community, a long-term goal that centers around giving back to the world, a narrative that helps one make sense of life and transcendent or spiritual experiences. So the sense of belonging to a community. People want to belong.

And I think that I think this is one of the things that makes like made Trump so popular was people were just dying to be part of something. And they felt that that was something that was different. We always talk about that tribe whole thing. Right. But again, make sure you're around the right tribe and make sure you're around the right community.

We're going to talk about that. That's funny. Look at you. You could have written this book as you're jumping ahead to another rule. We're going to get, yeah, we're going to get, we're going to get to that one in just a minute um but i think that the thing here that says centers around

giving back to the world you know i think and this is this is sometimes i've got to fight this battle within me a little bit right sometimes i fight the battle and i always bring this back to be being centered it seems like when i go into overdrive chasing the dollars, when I'm in the overdrive of what I can get and what I have and what I do, I always find myself being very unhappy. Like I just all of a sudden I'm like, this just doesn't, it's like putting on, it's like when you're trying something at the store and you think you like it and you get it home and you put it on, you're like, it just ain't right. I don't know what it is, but it ain't right. And I've got to get back to where I refocus on what can I do to help others? What can I do to impact others?

What can I do to help somebody else win? Because in every bit of giant press prosperity that I've had in my life has come through helping others get what they want. And that's absolutely true. You know, you look at the real estate company, we have 590 agents that work here. It is successful because we are very good at helping them. I, you know, or try to be very good at helping them get what they want. The mortgage company, the same thing, the title company, the same thing. Now the JVs were helping other large companies get what they want. and it's okay to make money while you're helping out right yeah people look

people make money such a negative thing in life and i always tell people that's because they don't have the money i like people will sit there and make that negative it's okay to make money but like you just said you need to not just make money. You got to have some other purpose while you're doing it. What was the quarter? And I remember who said it. If you, if you see this and you're like, Oh, you bit my stuff. I'm not trying to buy your stuff. But I heard somebody say, I said, I don't know who it was said people to say money can't buy happiness, never gave it away. And I was like, Oh, that's true. And I love that. Not I've seen people like they don't know where to shop. Like Dave Pena says that.

But no, it's money. Money can't by happiness. You just haven't given enough of it away, which is the truth, which is awesome. And if you don't get happy by giving your money away and making something, then something's wrong with you. And I'm a pod. You are a pod person. But the next thing you've got to figure is the other two things there. You've got to have something that gives life meaning or gives life a direction. The answer is the why are we here question.

And then some sort of a spiritual transcendent idea as well. And I'm a true believer in that, right? Like I grew up around a religion that maybe was not what I thought religion was. Um, but I always appreciated their, their religion because it gave them such purpose. Right. And everybody, you can say what you want about certain religions, but for the most part, they're good people. Right. And they've got a self awareness of, you know, having something bigger and better than you, right? It takes away the ego. Like I laugh, I go up to Utah and a Mercedes and they'd laugh at me, like, oh, this guy's got ego. And it's like, dude, you're in $130,000 truck and you're giving crap

over a $60,000 Mercedes. But, you know, I think that's huge, right? And I've, there's a lot of big people that says to have success, you know, maybe you don't have to believe in God, but you know, I think that's huge. Right. And I've, there's a lot of big people that says to have success, you don't, maybe you don't have to believe in God, but you got to believe in something like that. Got to believe in something. Next insight. And I love this when raising children is an important to mercifully discipline them. Otherwise the outside world will harshly discipline them when they're adults. I think we're seeing that now. We've got a whole generation of timeout kids out there. I ain't telling you to beat your kids. I'm not telling you that.

But what I am saying is you've got to have some boundaries. You've got to have some rules. But most important, you've got to have consequence. Yep. I think so many parents got to the point where because the consequence were somewhat difficult for the parents, that the consequences never come true. I've been guilty of that. I've been like, you know, if you don't do this, you can't go to this. And all of a sudden it's like, well, shit, we all want to go to this.

What are we going to do with him? How are we going to do this? How are we going to make this work? But you've got to, you know, I just. I just had this talk with my son, my oldest son. Was it Saturday? We were driving. And I sat there.

I go, I don't mean you bumped heads. I said, but that's because I want the best for you. And sure, I'm grounding you. And maybe you're grounded for a month from your phone or whatever. I said, but that's better off than what somebody's going to do in your job. They're going to fire you, and then you could go become homeless, right? Like you have to have consequences as a parent. You've got to stick to it. You think your teacher's bad? Wait till you get a boss.

Yep. No, for sure. Next one. Instead of responding to suffering of humanity by criticizing the world, it is better to turn inwards, perfect one's inner life, and spread goodness by example. Again, you know, one of the things that made me famous when I was on The Apprentice was the line of, you need to stop pointing the finger and start pulling the thumb, is what I said to somebody. And that couldn't be more true. I can tell you how successful someone is going to be based on the stories they

tell about their previous failures oh yeah um i we were interviewing an agent for my team two days ago right and this person came in and sat down we just hired two new people but we had a crew a crop of people come through right everybody and? Everybody. And one of the people sat down, and this person said, proceeded to tell me how all of these things that their old brokerage was doing was affecting them negatively, and how all of these things that they were doing is what caused this person to fail and why they just felt they needed a fresh start was because all of this stuff of their old broker. There was no sense of personal responsibility there was no anything you know anybody look if you're trying to get around

positive people that are winning and you come in with excuses as to why the world stacked up against you and why the world prevent why the world has been holding you down successful people gonna run from you oh that is they don't they successful people are going to run from you. Oh, that is. They don't want anything to do with you if you're pulling that bullshit. No one is holding you down except for yourself. That's right. Right? Like, yeah, you could be stuck at a bad brokerage that has bad everything about it.

I could go show you the worst brokerage in town, and I'll show you still a very successful agent in there. Right? Like, you could still be an amazing success. I could go show you the worst brokerage in town, and I'll show you still a very successful agent in there. You could still be an amazing success. Maybe it might be a little harder, but you could still be successful. But the problem is you're a one man at that time. You've got to surround yourself with great things. But, yeah, I mean, you can't fix the world.

You can only fix yourself. Well, again, this goes back to the ego being the enemy. People have to protect their ego at all expenses, you know, at all costs to protect the ego. Oh, it can't be me. It's got to be X. It's got to be somebody else that did this to me. It's got to be these external forces of why I'm in the predicament I am now. You know, forget any of the decisions or choices that you may have made coming along. Oh no, none of that. This is all on you. So in that aspect, man, take responsibility for what you're doing. I promise. Cause here's the difference. This, this is why it is so important for happiness to do this. Okay. What is it? What hurts you more? Let me ask you a

question. What hurts you more admitting to yourself that you screwed up and created a problem or the general belief that something outside has created a problem that you have no solution for what's more painful yeah what's more painful i mean i can honestly say i screw up and i'm okay with that dude like that does not that doesn't hurt me. It frustrates me. Right. Like if I screw something up, I'm like, well,

that was stupid of me. How, you know, but no, it's like the boogeyman. Yeah. I mean, do you want to be scared?

Oh, this, this external force that I have no control over. I mean, how frightening is that to go through life thinking you have no control over anything and you are literally just spinning at the wheel of every single power about you? Like I've got three issues right now on real estate. Two of them are like, oh, whatever.

Like I have no control or whatever. The one I was like, eh, I could have maybe fixed that, right? Like you cannot live life worrying about what other people. And my wife is the best about this. Now, sometimes you got to look at outside factors and put that into your risk and business, but you can't, I mean, you need to just jump in at stuff and worry about what you can do. I agree. Well, you know, this next one, I literally could have done, we could have done a whole hour on this, but here it comes. You ready? Sacrificing one's life to the pursuit of the highest good instead of clinging blindly to

an ideology will lead to a meaningful life. Dude, I wish people in this country, I wish people everywhere would learn this. This is what makes you dangerous in society everywhere this is what makes you dangerous when you decide to cling blindly to an ideology regardless of what the ideology is saying question everything dude if you are a republican if you are a democrat you do not have to agree with every single thing that either one of those parties says you do not you shouldn't you should not how can you blindly go down a rabbit hole there are people and and you look at the zealots and again i have a relationship with the man but you look at the zealots that came down from trump and dude, again, we talk about the Trump presidency.

Do I like the financial policy? Absolutely. Do I think that the way he handled the majority of situations outside of policy were complete disasters? Yes, I do. Yes, I do. Do I think the guy would sit there and say blatant lies? Yeah, I do. Because I'm not stupid. but here's the problem people attach their

identities to that ideology of following trump and oh my god he can't say anything wrong if he says something wrong then oh my god then it then it cripples my ideology dude but seek the truth do what's best for the common good and don't just blindly get in line like sheep. You look online right now, and there is social media is now full of people pushing causes that also sell the protest signs. Be it t-shirts, hats, whatever it may be. Do not buy into a cause sold by somebody profiting from said cause there's always an angle there's always an option and people just blindly chase this shit and what's even worse they see it and then they blindly regurgitate it because that ideology

has to be part of who they are right now now in America, there is an ideology of, I hate Democrats. There's an ideology of, because they just have to be evil. No, they just think differently than you do. They don't have to be evil. But to be fair, there's also a portion of the far left that if you say you're Republican,

we'll call you a Nazi. A racist Nazi. A racist Nazi, which is crazy. The problem is we shouldn't be attaching ourselves publicly to any of that. That was the biggest thing growing up. Don't talk about politics or religion. Now that's all everybody talks about. And now it makes it-

Wouldn't it be great if we could go back to that? That'd be lovely. or religion. Now that's all everybody talks about. And now it would be great if we could go back to that. Gosh, I just wish we would because there are great lefts and there are great rights and they're, they're great. Everybody in between. Right. And I'm pretty much, I'm pretty much going to go with, go 80% out this way, go 80% out that way, chop off the ends of them. And you're good. That's what I'm going to go with. And that's what it is, right? We've gone, you know, the tea party went way too right. This is going way too left. Like, and now everybody's, well, I've got to, if not, I'm going to be called, you know, they shouldn't know it. Like, let's just, let's just get to the middle where we all can get along and have civilized conversations. Oh my God. Number eight, telling the truth helps protect people from misery and society from corruption. I don't think we need to talk too much about that.

I mean, I think, you know, for me, telling the truth is the easiest thing to do because I'd have to remember less. Because I have a terrible memory. If I start telling a bunch of lies, I won't even know what I'm talking about. Well, and honestly, a lie never helps anybody, right? Like, I sat there with somebody reached out to me and was like, I'm not happy with my current agent. And they told me why. And I said, yeah, you know, I don't like to bad mouth, but yeah, probably not. And they go, well, I don't know what to do. And I go, tell him the truth.

And he goes, well, I don't want to hurt his feeling. I go, no, you're doing him no good. He thinks he can do commercial real estate and he can't. Like do him a favor by telling him the truth so he doesn't get in a lawsuit. Sometimes telling the truth might not be great. You know, if someone's wearing some fricking outfit that looks horrendous, don't tell them it looks good because they might go and, you know, lose a client over it or just, I don't know, as simplistic as that, just tell everybody the truth. Yeah. You know, here's the thing though. Let me ask you this.

What's worse. Cause's what's worse? Because I will say that I'll admit that when I was a kid, when I was like younger, I would, you know, tell some outlandish, stupid stories to try to make myself appeal more, more than I was more, you know, more of anything of what I was. And, you know, now I don't give a shit. But back then I did because, you know, it was an ego problem. So is that worse or is it telling lies about factual things to bend the truth? Like what's worse? I, it's all the same. I think it's probably all the same. I think if you're going to do one, you'll do the other. You know, if you like yourself or I don't know, I mean, like I said, like you said, don't get yourself, especially in business guys, because if you tell lies, eventually truth comes out. And you can, people call me all the time and I go, okay, we'll do this.

And then I find out, I gave you advice based off of what you asked me. Yeah. Which was fake. If you'd gave me the truth, I could have fixed it a lot easier. Now it's a big issue. That happens a lot in the brokerage business when an agent will tell me 80% of what I need to hear, leave out the 20% that puts them in hot water. And then I find it out from the other brokerage, which I hate that. I hate that, which is brutal.

Number nine, truly listening brings about personal growth. We talked a couple weeks ago about setting your phone down, really listening to people. And I'm going to give you a great tip for listening people right now. All right. Whenever you're discussing something with somebody, if you want them to really know that you're listening, do this, no matter what they say, repeat it back to them, especially in an argument, especially in an argument with women. Don't, and by the way, don't ever say calm down. Ever.

Ever. Don't ever. Yeah, don't say calm down. No, no. But if you're having an argument you know like you say okay let me understand you feel this way this way this way this way okay cool and then you can address it um if you are going into a conversation that's serious where you have to discuss some pain points go ahead and write down the things that you want to cover on a pad and

then write down a couple questions you want answers to this way you don't have to think about what you're going to say next because most of the people you're talking to, believe it or not, they're just thinking about what they're going to say next. They're not really listening to what you're saying. I always tell people it's like when you're getting up in front of school to give a big project and you're all nervous because you think everybody's listening and everybody's sitting around not listening to you. They're all nervous about what they're going to say.

That's right. And now it says that studies have shown recently that we retain less than 10% of what we hear from face-to-face conversation. Right. And I say this as well. I agree because social media. Yeah, because social media. But I say this as well. If you're in sales or any type of business, and this is crucial,

if you have a conversation where you discuss a deal point or you discuss something that may come up later with a client, make sure you send them an email following saying, to recap our conversation. Because as soon as it comes up two weeks later and they're like, I don't remember saying that. I don't remember that. Well, now you can refer back to the email and say, well, no, no, look at your email because I sent you a recap of the conversation.

So recap important conversations with clients. It will keep you out of a ton of trouble. It's hard to argue when someone puts a printed email. It is. Yep. At the core. Number 10, clearly articulating problems allows them to be confronted and solved while sweeping them under the rug encourages them to fester and metastasize. Which means, you know, look, if there's a problem in your life today,

it's going to be a problem tomorrow. The longer you let it sit, the worse it's going to be. I always say that a lot of times happiness is on the other side of a difficult conversation. A lot of times holding stuff in is the worst thing you can do, especially man, if you're married, like one of the things I'll say is cool with me and my wife is i have no issue and neither does my wife like like hey can i talk to you this is bothering me like i'm proud of that fact and uh and we listen to each other so there's not a whole lot of like remember six months ago when you did that like what no that doesn't really happen in my house because you know we're very comfortable with having those conversations about what's working for us and what's not in the relationship, which is good. Relationships, business.

Anything. Relationships. I mean, if you've got something hard to do with a client, just pick it up. Because once you do, ignore that call and it goes to voicemail. Every time you're looking at your phone, that's all you're thinking about. What's this voicemail saying? How pissed off are they? You're going to eventually have to have that conversation and you might as well do it now. I always tell people like, why are you letting this go till Monday? You're waiting from Friday

now, Saturday, Sunday, it's ruining your whole thing. I mean, there are times where it's like, for example, right now I keep looking at my phone because I'm trying to have a difficult conversation with somebody and they're not returning my call. No, no, that's my, that's another business partner for another deal. That's a, no, but it's like, dude, did you mess this up or not? I need to know if you messed it up because I need to find this out. Right. And I know he, I know they screwed up. I know this guy's deal screwed up, and he doesn't want to have this conversation, but I could fix it, and I could have fixed it 10 days ago when I heard about it. But why ignore phone calls?

Why ignore anything? More than that, the best example of that is why are men cheaper to insure than women? Do you know why? A lot of people think it's because women can have babies. No. It's because when women get sick, they go to the damn doctor men well i'll be fine i'll be fine i'll be fine i'll be fine and i'm dead you know you look at little skin cancer dude my my father my father-in-law my father-in-law died from and he had gallstones which is nothing nothing he just

ignored it for so long he went uh styptic i I guess they call it, and that was it. And had he just gone to the doctor and got it looked at, it would have been fine. So, yeah, don't sweep your problems under. Okay, here we go, Colt. You ready? Here we go, if you're still watching. That's a 30-minute mark. Number 11, gender differences are biological, not socially constructed, and attempting to squash them is bad for society.

Advocating equality for women as well as for people of color and people with disabilities is illogical. Essentially what Jordan Peterson is trying to say here is that by having any type of prejudice against anybody, for example, if you look at affirmative action where they say like, oh, you have to take so many people of color, whatever, blah, blah, blah, versus these people. But if you're discriminating against people of one race so you can let another one in based on race, that in itself is racism. Now, again, thanks for the power move. I'm not going to touch that one. We're going to move on because we don't have any type of a descending point at all. Colt, you have no comment on that one? Hard no comment.

No comment. Hard no comment. Okay, got it. All right. Number 12, crisis as well as the suffering of day-to-day existence can be managed by focusing on small amounts of love and beauty, which I like this too, man. You know, this is where we're going to finish it up on this one. Just find something small, man. Find a win. And if you don't do this, this is, you know,

everything starts with gratitude. Everything. If you're not where you're at, if you're not in a place where you're happy in your life, if you're not a place where you feel good about things, man, you're not being grateful enough for what you do have. You know, the Stoics always say that true wealth is not about wanting more. It's about really wanting for nothing is what it is. It's not about having more. It's about wanting for nothing. In the morning when you wake up, night before you close your eyes, think of five things that you're grateful for and really lean into that

and really, really lean into how they make you feel. Because I promise if you walk around in a state of being grateful for your life, for the things that you have, for the friends that you have, the relationships you have, for the sky above, or for the fact that you just got to wake up again this morning, your life will change. Amen. Amen. Amen. They always say it's okay to want more. Just be grateful for what you have with the proceed for, you know, where you want more. That's totally fine. Don't, don't push that to the side and say, well, I got to get rid of wanting a nicer house or whatever, but be grateful that you have the house you're in right now. That's right. Be grateful. Well, speaking of grateful, man, I am so grateful to you guys take your time to spend with us.

Hopefully some of the information we give you does help you. It is really our intent. If you like what we do, tell a friend. If you hate what we do, tell two because it doesn't matter if they're talking good or bad about you. What does it matter, Colt? As long as they're talking about you. As long as they're talking. We'll see you next time.

Hey, it's john gafford if you want to catch up more and see what we're doing you can always go to thejohngafford.com where we'll share any links that we have things we talked about on the show as well as links to the youtube where you can watch us live and if you want to catch up with me on instagram you can always follow me at thej Gafford. I'm here. Give me a shout.