Escaping the Drift with John Gafford - From Dishwasher to Real Estate Mogul: Jarek Tadla’s Inspiring Immigrant Journey

Episode Date: August 6, 2024

Unlock the secrets to building a real estate empire and overcoming personal barriers with our special guest, Jarek Tadla. Born in Poland and now a self-made magnate in the U.S., Jarek’s story is nothing short of inspiring. From working as a dishwasher and factory worker to creating a massive real estate portfolio, Jarek shares his journey of perseverance, hard work, and strategic decision-making. Learn how he managed to juggle multiple jobs while learning a new language and assimilating into a new culture, and how gut-based decisions played a critical role in his success. In this episode, we explore the powerful drive and profound gratitude that many immigrants experience, offering a fresh perspective on the opportunities available in the United States. Hear personal stories of how Jarek and others have leaned on community support and continuous learning to navigate the complex world of business. We delve into real estate investment strategies, discussing the importance of tax planning, cost segregation, and the lessons learned from the 2008 financial crisis. Jarek's tale is a testament to the value of resilience and adaptability in the face of adversity. But success comes with its own set of challenges. We tackle mental health struggles, the weight of imposter syndrome, and the importance of self-care. Jarek opens up about his battles with depression and the strategies he uses to maintain mental wellness, such as morning routines and self-reflection. We also confront the conflicting feelings around wealth and materialism, and the true value of time and relationships. Join us as we navigate these complex topics, offering practical advice and insights that can help you take control of your life and achieve your own success. Highlights: (00:37 - 01:17) Breaking the Curse (40 Seconds) (07:26 - 08:42) Navigating Ego and Drift in Life (77 Seconds) (09:42 - 10:56) Realizing the Mental Strength Through Swimming (74 Seconds) (14:15 - 15:14) Transition to Real Estate Investing (59 Seconds) (21:12 - 22:04) Trusting Gut Instinct for Business Success (52 Seconds) (26:58 - 28:02) Men's Mental Health in Entrepreneurship (64 Seconds) (40:04 - 41:27) Overcoming Depression and Self-Doubt (83 Seconds) (45:46 - 46:53) Perspective on Wealth and Time (66 Seconds) CHAPTERS  (00:00) - Immigrant Success Story (04:40) - Immigrant Drive and Gratitude (17:07) - Real Estate Investing Strategies (27:18) - Navigating Mental Health Struggles (35:56) - Morning Routine and Self-Reflection (39:15) - Living Without Regret, Embracing the Present (45:38) - Wealth, Materialism, and Image Struggles (52:52) - Conquering Imposter Syndrome and Self-Care (58:29) - Taking Control and Saving Yourself Did you enjoy this podcast episode? Tell us all about it in the comment section below! If you liked this video, consider subscribing to Escaping The Drift with John Gafford About John Gafford: After appearing on NBC's "The Apprentice", John relocated to the Las Vegas Valley and founded several successful companies in the real estate space. The Gafford Group at Simply Vegas, top 1% of all REALTORS nationwide in terms of production. Simply Vegas, a 500 agent brokerage with billions in annual sales Clear Title, a 7-figure full-service title and escrow company. Streamline Home Loans - An independent mortgage bank with more than 100 loan officers. The Simply Group, A national expansion vehicle partnering with large brokers across the country to vertically integrate their real estate brokerages. Follow John Gafford on social media: Instagram  thejohngafford Facebook  gafford2 Stream The Escaping The Drift Podcast with John Gafford Episode here: Listen On Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/7cWN80gtZ4m4wl3DqQoJmK?si=2d60fd72329d44a9 Listen OnApple:https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/escaping-the-drift-with-john-gafford/id1582927283 #RealEstate #ImmigrantSuccess #PersonalBarriers #JarekTadla #Poland #SelfMade #UnitedStates #Perseverance #HardWork #StrategicDecisionMaking #MultipleJobs #NewLanguage #Assimilation #GutBasedDecisions #Relationships #Business #AnalyticalMethods #StrategicPartnerships #GoldmanSachs #Blackstone #2008FinancialCrisis #Resilience #Adaptability #MentalHealth #Depression #SelfCare #MorningRoutine #SelfReflection #Wealth #Materialism #ImageStruggles #ImposterSyndrome #SelfWorth #SelfReliance #TakingControl #Proactive

Every single good deal I found, it was right here from the heart. Was it? I only make bad decisions in my head. Only good decisions in a relationship, in a business. Everything was from the gut. I don't analyze shit. I don't listen to anybody. I just like, hey, that's a good property.

And then because I believe so much in it, then my head makes it work. And now, Esca, the show designed to get you from where you are to where you want to be. I'm John Gafford and I have a knack for getting extraordinary achievers to drop their secrets to help you on a path to greatness. So stop drifting along, escape the drift, and it's time to start right now. Back again, back again for another episode of the show, man. Like I said in the opening, it gets you from where you are to where you want to be. And if you are somebody that's out there, maybe trying to figure out, you know, not just how to get ahead in business, but you got something holding you back. It's like in the back of your mind, you wake up and you see these people online and they're doing so well. And you think, why not me? And then you think,

cause maybe I'm not good enough. Maybe I'm not strong enough. Maybe I'm not smart enough. Maybe I'm suffering from a little bit of imposter syndrome. Well, if that's you, I got a guest for you today that's going to help you break that curse, going to help you break to the other side of that. This is a gentleman that came to this country as an immigrant, built himself a little real estate empire. And by little, I mean a little real estate empire and by little i mean a giant real estate empire encompassing thousands of doors also through that journey he battled with his own demons and he's going to talk about those freely today he is the author of the upcoming book not enoughness ladies and gentlemen welcome to the program this is yannick toddler yannick how

are you buddy i love the introduction, man. I was like... Dude, I say it every week. When people come in, I'm like, it's all downhill from there. That was the highlight of the show. Because you got to get a mother listening. You got to impress them. And that's what we're at.

You got to be mad. I was like, oh, whoa. I got you pumped up. That's a good start. That's a great start. So, man, you came to this country as an immigrant. You didn't start here. You're Polish. Yes yes when did you come to the united states 21 i was exactly short few days 21 my parents won the green card so that's how i got it uh i was fortunate enough to come legally from

the day one so i have to struggle with all this stuff so well i was you know that's a question i wanted to ask obviously it's it's nice we'll hit it right at the top of the show which is with all everything that's going on with the illegal immigration into our country right now you as somebody that migrated to the country legally how like i guess you had to be you would have to be conflicted about this no actually i'll at that time i knew i won lottery right like i i like i'm like you like even during the podcast you will see me i won lottery right like I like I'm like you like even during the podcast you will see me I won lottery

and people's like he really won lottery I'm not talking money lottery but just being able to come here being legally and they're being surrounded by people

like how much they struggle to live in this country and they're going through the legal process and not being able to you know so that was the first lottery I really won

and it was a green card lottery yeah and when I moved here I I end up in my grand, my grand, my godson, Jesus, my godfather's, my godfather's house. We got there at 2 o'clock in the morning. He woke me up at 7 a.m., cut the grass, and let's go to school. You know, on the first day, at 4 o'clock, they pick me up, go to the restaurant, wash dishes. And that's how my journey started. Did you speak English when you moved on the first day uh at four o'clock they pick me up go to the restaurant wash dishes and that's how my journey started did you speak english when you moved to the country not at all

not at all not a lick of the word not i think probably i knew some passwords had you gone to university had you gone had you gone to school in poland what had you done well in poland i i did uh high school and then i did university and then i stopped because i moved here and then i continued the education here so i finished college like first i did english second language and then I did university and then I stopped because I moved here and then I continued education here. So I finished college. Like first I did English second language and then I did like associate and bachelor in sunny Brockwood. Okay. So, but I graduated quickly. So it was like three years because, you know, I got some credits from Poland. Yes. So that's why, you know, I graduate by, you know, in three years. Okay. So what did mom and dad do? What was their profession? Dishwashers. We were all working in a factory washing dishwashers in poland they were high-end uh uh executives my father was uh yeah my but but

you see my parents moved for us for us to have a better life so they really stepped down completely you know they they're being like you know my father was a GM of the transportation company and my mom was of a construction company. And they were highly educated. And they came here and started working for a factory and washing dishes. They had two jobs just for us. So we're going to have a brighter future. I mean, knowing that, I mean, doesn't it just,

when you see these people that are like, like right now there's all these protests going on everywhere in the country. I'm not asking you to spout your political beliefs, but I'm just saying as somebody that their parents gave up everything just to live in this country, it's got to kind of irk you a little bit when you see others saying, you know, death to America while they're standing on the steps of New York. I put the long sleeve.

I'm getting goosebumps right now. What you're saying. I'm telling you, we live in the great, there's no country like this. Like we live in the greatest country and I've been here 31 years, 32 years. This is the best country ever.

I do businesses all over the world and there's nothing like this country. And you know, sometimes we take it for granted. Yeah. You know, like I always say, it's like the most skier per capita in South Florida, the more scuba diver per capita

are in Colorado, you know, because we don't appreciate what we have. And sometimes we take this country for granted. And actually, like, I don't want to go there, but it pisses me off. Yeah. When people like, I'm an immigrant, I'm Polish and, you know, American,

but when people talk bad about this country, this is like, you know what? Let's go somewhere else. Well, you know, my favorite people to have on the program, honestly, are people that did immigrate here from other countries that have found great success because I find that it just, it strips the bullshit meter of all of the reasons why I can't be successful in this country right out the window.

Because you know what, we're not entitled. Yeah. You know, like, you know what we we're not entitled yeah you know like you know what i was i was entitled to be here like not entitled i was so so grateful that i i got here and when i got here when i see all the opportunities like there's just no way like you know this is me this is like i'm gonna take when i told my parents that i'm gonna retire like by the age of 30 my parents were laughing laughing. Like my family make jokes about it. I was like, watch me. Like this country is like, it's got everything to offer.

And you know what? Like I was just telling on the Sean Kelly show, everybody helps you out. Like everybody, hey, you don't have to just find a new way. I'll walk you through. Let me show you. There's no competition. There's no enviousness.

It's like, hey, the market is huge, you know, and everybody helps you out. And it's like everybody really walked me by the hand. And it's like, yeah, you do it this way, this way, this way. And, you know, I never stop asking questions and ever growing. I mean, I've been here 31 years and I'm still the student. And I will never stop. You know, I will never stop. I think there's a great point in that, which is so many people get absorbed with

ego, especially when they start to find some level of success, that they feel that they have to be the ones with the answers. And the people that I have found that I choose to surround myself with in a lot of cases that are extremely successful understand that they're always still asking questions. And I think that's a great point that more people should like that. That's something if you're watching this or listening to this, remember like that's how you get to the next, there's levels to the game. And if you start thinking you know it all at level three,

you're never going to get to level eight. And I can tell you the sign, escape the drift. That's exactly where the drift starts. When you think you got there, oh brother, it everything's gonna go down the shit like it's like like every time like you think i got it i don't need this anymore like i'm everything starts and that's what the ego and that's where the drifting starts and it's funny when we start drifting we don't even know yeah you know we become it's like that's what that's how it is and never is, you know? So every time, like, I feel comfortable, oh, shit, I got to switch something. You know, I got to learn how to be uncomfortable being comfortable.

And it constantly, it's a constant work. It doesn't matter if you're 30, if you're 35, 40, 50, 60, 70. Like, I know I retired so many times and I was miserable, miserable. And I thought, like, you know, I become entitled. But I was in the tunnel. I love it. Like for me, drifting is being in a tunnel and not being aware of it.

That's what a drifting, because that's what the head, like in the posture and the devil gets in. It's like, dude, you deserve this shit. And that's not, it's the ego. But everything in your soul, in your heart is telling you, shit, I'm wrong. Well, here's the thing.

You know, you don't achieve that level of success that you have without having an immense level of drive at a basic level. And I found that most people that have a high level of drive, like there's really a couple categories you can go into. You can go from incredible example to where the parents just were such great examples of high drive. You can go from situations of incredible adversity where you know like the david goggins of the world that that dude's the hardest guy on

the planet because he had a yeah i love he had a fucking terrible upbringing which and then you have you know because they always say hard times breeds great great people or great what is it hard times breed hard people or success or what is it god what am i trying to say hard times breed great men soft times breed soft men yes easy times breed soft men and i think so where does your drive come from obviously the parents made a great sacrifice to come to this country but where do you think your personal drive came from? You know, I think about it a lot. And I got it because I meditate a lot and I pray. And lately I realized, you know, I was a swimmer.

I swam when I was a kid. You know, I was like 16 years old when I quit swimming. And I was very, very good at it. And I was swimming because I was in Eastern Bloc. So what happened is we swim as a kid. Like, can you imagine being six, seven, eight years old and swim six hours a day, two practices, and then you have a break on Saturday, you only have a three-hour practice and then you have a day off on Sunday and then you're six, seven, eight, nine, you're 10 years old. So what happened is, and I never, ever complain about it. I didn't like swimming.

I like, you know, my father made me swim. I never liked swimming, but I never complained about it. So in early age, I realized like what is hard for many other people is easy. So now dealing with my shit, this is easy. Comparing being freaking just being in the pool and hitting the gym and do it on a daily basis, six hours, plus school, plus homework, plus doing all this stuff, traveling with the teachers. My life is easy.

Well, I think you just answered it. Comparing, like, you know what I mean? Yeah, when you said Eastern Bloc, I think you, you forget, right? You forget that at the time when you were a little kid, like Poland was controlled by the Soviet Union. Yes. And I got beat up, man. If I didn't do my time in the gym or in the pool,

my time slack, I mean, you get out of that, you get beat up. And you do it and you don't complain about it. Dude, it's so funny how quick you forget because my grandparents moved here from Hungary in the 50s. And we went to Budapest a couple years ago um which was beautiful it's like paris of eastern europe i love it we went yeah and we happened to be there on hungarian independence day and i was like oh this is going to be great no hungarian independence day it's going to be like lively celebrations oh no dude

it was like a million people marching down their main street to hero square in dead silence because independence day wasn't that fun. Wasn't that long ago? Like the people that were there still understand what it meant to get that independence because they were alive when it happened. And you see something like that. And you realize again, like you said, holy shit, how great it is. We live in this country where you don't even have any concept of at some point somebody had to die for you to be free. And that was wild. So, you know, that I think in itself, the fact that when you were a little kid in Poland, you were part of the Soviet Union. I'd kind of forgotten that.

Yeah. And not only that, but not only that. Remember, from generation to generations. And, you know, that's how your parents, that's how you were raised now how you know the grandparents so you know you don't know and you didn't know any better and then you come here and the freedom is given to you and you have access to all the knowledge all the opportunities and and it's like what and it's like what like this is exist because remember that when when we broke in poland it was 81 yeah i mean i still remember even though that that that happened it took years of all the conversations that i was

surrounded with oh sure the school the teachers the coaches the parents the uncles the ends the the friends everybody talk about it so even though it's been like when i moved here was 10 years later but they were still transition yeah even though it were free but you can't just shut it off in the mind exactly yeah you't just shut it off in the mind exactly yeah you can turn the border off but the mind doesn't shut off exactly and here you know remember like i waited for the toilet paper like you know six seven hours in in the stores you know i mean if you only you want anything like bananas like there was nothing you the shells were empty and then i come here yeah i go to the store i can buy banana i can buy oranges are you

fucking at the same time are you kidding me are you telling me i can be a dishwasher and pay rent and i'm like 21 years old i can pay rent you know i can buy a car i can buy gasoline i can go to school i mean i education what yeah you know I get financial aid because I just moved. They pay for my school? Like, they love me here. Yeah. Like, I got to pay it back. Yeah, welcome aboard.

There you go. So you started out dishwashing. That was the first job. Family business, had a restaurant. Was that it? No, that was like my godfather friend. Okay. He had a restaurant.

Yeah, it was small. Yeah, it was a small restaurant. And where was this? Where was this? In Rochester, New York. Rochester, New York. Yeah. Okay.

But me washing dishes didn't take long. And so I washed dishes. Then from then, I was like a prep. And then I was busboy. Then I was a waiter and running the restaurant. And then I have the conversation with my, at that time, my girlfriend. The family move in. And they said, like, hey, you know, we're living, they live in Denver.

And I was graduating from college, and we live in Denver. So, yeah, you know, we live in four units building, and we, you know, we rent three, and we live rent free. Oh, the fourplex model. Yeah. I'm like, huh? What? So I get home, and really, like, my, at that time, it was my girlfriend. It was my first wife.

Later, I wrote a check for $50,000. I put it on the refrigerator. And she goes like, and we're doing this. And she goes like, we're doing what? What are you talking about? I'm like, moving to Denver, we're buying fourplex. What are you talking about? You're delusional.

I'm like, babe, believe me. And again, I don't know how that happened. I have no idea. Then a year later, we got married. We used all the money from, I sold all the cars. We got married. We got like, I think, $6,000, $7,000 from the wedding. And I bought my first fourplex.

And remember, like you, you own a business. I had no idea that there's owner-occupied fourplexes. You know, you have no knowledge. You go $200,000 fourplex. You put $50,000, $60,000 with the closing costs. And that's it. And then you think you are the shit. Now I'm running.

I'm a restaurant manager in Denver. And then the other fourplex is for sale. But now you're kind of in business. And now you got a kind of like, hey, you don't have to do it how you did on the first fourplex. You can do owner-occupied the next one. What are you talking about? I can buy it. There was like an FHA program, 3% down, but you don't need that 3% down.

So I buy my second fourplex, $1,000. Immediately after, the one behind, so I use my wife. You know, she bought the other one, fourplex. And we just like, I mean, we are the top of the world, man. So now you got two cash flowing assets. Yeah, I got like three. And then we sold those. We bought like 10 units.

Like each floorplex, we turned it to 12, 16, and 17 units apartment buildings. And then we bought more. Well, let's talk about that. Because I think that's something that is an interesting concept that a lot of people don't do in real estate, especially when they start investing. And I think that is a mistake, is they don't understand when an asset caps out in value. They don't understand when probably maximize appreciation, probably maximize cashflow, probably need to get off of this asset and 1031 it into a better asset that's starting at the

bottom and start building there. I think people have this mentality sometimes with real estate is buy it, never sell it. We're never dominoed up. What's your thoughts on it? Truly? Yeah. That's why I asked. I'm a long-term investor. Well, no, no, no, no, no.

Long-term is fine. I'm a very long-term investor. Even if we have the conversation, if we have this conversation, like literally like three years ago, I would tell you I don't sell anything. I was heartbroken to start selling conversation like literally like three years ago i would tell you i don't sell anything i was heartbroken to start selling my the first properties that i bought in 96 98 90 you would

have them all i was heartbroken but you know i just calculated my cfo and and of course like i was mad at him it's like you make half a percent on this shit like what are you doing you gotta move the money like what are you doing and i I'm like, listen, after 2008, you know, when I almost didn't make all my money, I said I want to pay off all the mortgages. My CPAs, my attorneys are like, Yadik, you cannot pay off the mortgages. But here's what happened. Like, I'm a slow learner.

I'm being like, you know, I'm not going to call myself dumb, but, you know, I'm a slow learner, okay? So everybody's telling me for years, and until, you know, I get a tax bill, like, you know, not only I pay $400,000, $500,000 a quarter, and then I get a tax bill for $1.7 million, I'm like, that's what everybody was talking about. I'm like, got it. Got it.

So it's a different game right now. It's so funny when, and I've known a lot of investors, myself probably included, that when you really start going heavily into real estate and then you learn the two magic words in real estate, which is cost segregation. And you start segregating those costs to get the advanced depreciation on real estate to wipe out your tax bills, which is so funny. But so as you started coming up, you just started kind of blindly buying four plexes then building it up without having a tax strategy without having a banking strategy without

having these things i have no idea man like i'm telling you by 2008 when 2008 hit i just bought so many like here's 50 units here's 100 units 100 like like i'm like like and everyone like what are you doing i was called clown of denver you want to get rid of something just call toddler he will he will buy it and I bought everything and then 2010 happens like how did you know I didn't know I just remembered like what I paid like I paid 70 80 thousand dollars a unit 60 thousand dollars a unit and now I'm getting for 10 17 thousand dollars a unit like I knew it's gonna turn around but I always have the belief yeah you know I mean I never listened to I never listened to voices you know but i always have the belief yeah you know i mean i never listened i never listened to voices you know outside i always have a belief like beyond belief and i

have the faith so when i have all this the negative i call it like a you know like a distractions those those those voices like noises i never listen and it didn't work out it didn't work out see for me I always try to use what I call the Starbucks theory, which is if you want to know a good commercial development, just find a place where Starbucks built one or put a store because they probably pay people more than I will ever be able to afford to decide that's a good corner. So then I want to be next to Starbucks. And during the crash, when that happened, I've always been pretty good at finding all of the waves of real estate as far as in the retail

side of it. And when the market fell in 2007, I became a huge short sale agent here in town. And then that transitioned into, I became the number one foreclosure agent in the country for lender processing services, who was the big one that got wrapped up in the robo-signing scandal. I was their number one real estate agent in the country. I would roll into work every day and turn on my computer and have 30 new listings. And I did a lot of real estate and shorts and flip-flops those two years. And then when that started phasing out, I wasn't buying anything that I probably should have. I had friends in the business, because again, I'm scrupulous, but I have friends in the business that shall go unnamed that during that time were also very large foreclosure agents that were buying all their

own assets in Shell LC zone by family members. That was too much for me as far as like, I didn't want to push the envelope of honesty. Was it illegal? No. Was it probably dishonest? Yes. So I didn't really want to do that either. So I didn't do that. My friends that did that made a tremendous amount of money. But where I started buying assets again was I got contracted by both Goldman Sachs and by Blackstone and purchased a tremendous amount of their portfolios here in Vegas. So what we did start doing is as I was buying for both of those entities alongside, we started picking our properties because I figured if their analysts say that this is the time to buy, then I'm buying on their analyst. So for me, I do love listening to my gut. I'm not

going to lie. My gut has cost me some money over time. It has. But I do also like my Starbucks method where I try to find the smartest guys in the room and maybe jump on the back of that coattail and ride them right to success. I bought billions, billions, not millions,

not billions, I was in real estate and I only founded two good deals. You only what? Two good deals. Two good deals? Two good deals.

That was the only time. And every single good deal I found, it was right here from the heart. Was it? I only make bad decisions in my head. Only good decisions in the relationship, in the business.

Everything was from the gut. I don't analyze shit. I don't listen to anybody. I just like, hey, that's a good property. And then because I believe so much in it, then my head makes it work. Even if it's a bad deal. That's why I only found a few good deals. I was like, how can you buy only two?

Because people think that you wait on the sideline and the good deal showed up. You got to have hundreds, hundreds of deals in order to find a good deal. You cannot just like, if we find the first deal good, you screw for life. Because then you expect everything else. It doesn't work.

Yeah. You want to like, I'm telling like the audience right now, like if you're getting into real estate or anything, like I don't want to You want to like, I'm telling like the audience right now, I like, I like if you, if you're getting into real estate or anything, like I'm, I don't have to stop with real estate. I pray for you to make a better decisions. So you learn from it.

So then the second is going to be better. And third is not better. Because if you hit a jackpot on the first deal, you done, you know, because then you're going to expect that your, your, your,

your, your expectation is going to be a lot higher and you won't be able to find it. Well, I think you're going to probably that your expectation is going to be a lot higher and you won't be able to find it. Well, I think you're going to probably have some good deals on the horizon because part of, I think what I read about what you do is you self-fund everything. You do not syndicate your deals. You do not raise private capital. You do not do that. Everything is self-funded. You've made yourself immensely bankable. I think a lot of these syndicated multifamily acquisition deals that have happened over the last two years are about to absolutely fall on their face. I think they've got major problems that you're smiling, you're smirking, because I think you probably believe the same thing.

Have people come to you looking to get a bailout on some of these things yet? Yeah, it happens. I'm very fortunate, and I see deals you know the other way and everybody's scared right now and I love it I made I made

Shellout 1 in 2008 I made 10,000 times more in during COVID and everybody freaked out and

and we're again in the same four years later we're in the same cycle yeah and you know what i might be wrong maybe this time my gut feeling is gonna be wrong but you know we'll talk about it a year

two years or five years from now what are you bullish on going forward for the next 18 months apartment building still yeah i think the debt um i think there's a debt problem in multifamily right now i think um i think the cap rates are atrocious because of it. And I think until that problem gets solved, and I think there was a lot of people that speculated deals on rates would come down and they could refinance out and that's not happening. The longer the wait, the better. Let them start. You can feel a lot of, I mean, a lot of people that I've seen that are big in the syndication of multifamily are struggling right now. And they're scared about what's going on.

Obviously, commercial took that hit, you know, 18 months ago. That's funny. Every commercial guy I know right now, their handicap has improved like four strokes because his cap rates get shitty. Their handicaps get better because all they do is play golf because there's nothing to buy. But yeah, so when you're looking for a deal, when you're out looking for something, what are you looking for?

What are you looking for in a deal? I really, it's people say location, location, location, location. And it's true. I really look at, like, I don't look at the numbers, I don't look at the rents because I don't know if they're true or they're not. You know, a lot of people just, you know, they just tell you the best of the best. Yeah. And I've been in the business 31 years, so I don't look at those numbers at all. I do my own numbers and I look at, you know, the access to the highways, access to the schools, access to parks, access to all this stuff. That's how I look at it. But now I'm also switching from C-class to A-class. Okay.

So, you know, because remember, like, when I got in on apartment buildings, like, when I was renting, I was treated like shit. You know, so I want to get in and help people so that they're not going to be treated like me. And now, at that time, in 93, like, you know, 95, only were poor people renting. And the second you get out of it, then you kind of buy a new home and people start getting out of it.

Right now the culture and demographics change. And younger people and people, successful people, they just want to have access. They want to rent and they want to be able to move immediately. But they want all the amenities. They want to have access. They want to rent and they want to be able to move immediately. But they want all the amenities.

They want to have everything else going on. Are you finding that it's harder to find deals in that C-class area that you can do forced depreciation on, where you can improve the properties and immediately build a value? Because most of them have already been improved over the last four years. That's what I see. Yeah, it was always easy. Before COVID, it was always easy be busy before covet was very easy uh but now you know a lot of hedge funds and all the stuff that came in and they they proved them over and yeah but it's it's it's always easier to

find a c-class than a class it's always easier the numbers on a class don't don't make it yeah they're they're they're hard yeah but you know i don't need the cash Yeah. They're, they're, they're hard. Yeah. But you know, I don't need the cashflow anymore, you know, but I want to have a new building. So, you know, I'm, I'm, I'm only 52 years young. Yeah. I'm going to live another 50, 70 years. I mean, you know, so, so, you know, I just want a new building and you know. Yeah. I love it. I love it. Now let's talk about this because obviously the thing you wrote a book about, you're passionate about this is going to be mental health, especially within men and entrepreneurship. And you talk about an imposter syndrome and you talk about those things. I mean, how have you been affected by that?

When did you first learn you had a problem with that or think you had a problem with that? 2008. 2008 was the first time? Yeah, because what happened is, you know, all my friends, everybody, I was successful. So everybody was giving me money. And I knew that I can, you know, pay pay them back refinance properties stuff like that and then 2008 lemon brothers went out of business and i'm and i got stuck but here my friends like hey i want my 10 000 back i want my you know 20 000 i need my 40 so those i could get out of cash flow

i suddenly have bigger friends like hey i think i want my million dollar back i want 2.2 million i'm like dude i, I can't. Like, nobody's refinancing. Yeah. And I thought I'm the bottom of the, like, you know, it's funny. I really thought I'm the bottom of the bottom at that time. I was wrong, man. Dude, I think, well, I think obviously when you've got a major catastrophe like that happening, it's easy.

Is, you know, for me, I'm just, I've always been very frank about it on this this show. Like once a year, you know, I talk about it, I'll go into something called the funk. It's normally my wife. That's what my wife calls it. The funk is I'll just hit a place where for no reason, I'll just, I just kind of hit the doldrums. It'll just kind of hit me. And some, some years are worse than others. And you know, sometimes, you know, I just call it a win if I can get one thing done that day. And if I can just get one thing done that day And, you know, sometimes, you know, I just call it a win if I can get one thing done that day. You know, if I can just get one thing done that day and, you know, it comes and goes. It's not consistent. It happens again, like once a year. And it's something that I definitely have struggled with over the years. So what are your, you know, what's your advice for dealing with that mental health stuff? And as nobody here is a clinical board certified psychologist.

Clear that up. These are just two dudes that are having some problems shoot the shit about what we do to help each other there you go it is funny that's all we're doing why are you talking like how can you have problems like people like what do you you got everything you got your shit figured out yeah even like today no yesterday on the on the vegas uh morning show it's like so how do you balance like i don't i i still didn't figure it out i'm still in the process and i always will you know there are and and you have a once a year you know i i we i i think i have a lot more than once a year yeah but what i have the awareness now hey i'm going to the space even like like literally last monday i was taking a shower and my queen pissed me off and i got to start having like negative thoughts you know it was taking a shower, and my queen pissed me off.

And I got to start having like negative thoughts. You know, I was like, shit, I'm losing my shit again. And I just got out of the shower. Babe, I love you. You know, I have my Oosa place. I have a beach house in St. Augustine. I love this house. It's my Oosa place that I completely disconnect.

And she just look at me. Thank you. Because, you know, I'm losing my shit. I'm going to hurt you. I'm going to say something. And something and not only to you that i'm gonna say something to my kids so um you know i i call it like this is time to reset but i i think the older like every year i don't know about you but every year or every like time it happens i have a bigger awareness yes and and what happened is because when i get to the bottom when it happened to me in 2022 like i couldn't get out of the bed i was really really bad yeah the voices got louder and clearer and i start believing in the bullshit that i create the bullshit story yep and i almost

commit suicide like i have the boat ready i have everything ready like i couldn't deal with this shit i'm like i'm like i got i just got out of like toxic relationship. You know, I have like, I made more money during COVID than I possibly could. You know, I'm healthy. My body, I had a 7% body fat. I'm freaking fitness freak. I'm like, like everything I got right. And I'm losing my shit. And there's like,

what about people that have real problems? Dude, you don't have a problem. You work freaking millions of millions of dollars. Like you don't have problems what if i do have problems what about all these people's like if i'm going through this shit what about other people when i start opening up all this stuff like even look at like right now you telling me that yeah you know you guys have it like we all have it but we don't talk about it because we as a man we think that we fucking weak it's like what do you mean you go you go to your

bitch hole and cry yeah i do yeah do you think i have a problem like crying in front of my kids right now no i have this emotions like your dad is not the the tank that you can just beat up it's like i have feelings and emotions but we are some men we can be weak like well you got to be the provider you you you supposed to you know protect me but i'm also allowed to have feelings emotions yeah and what happened when you hiding for so many years, you know, like I hid it for 50 years. That shit, man, like hit me hard. Yeah, from the inside.

Like, yeah. And I couldn't deal with that because my bucket was completely empty. And I'm like, what the hell? Like this is like, you know, wake up call. And I have so many of them and it's like it and i have the tools just imagine having the tools like i was well let's talk let's talk about the tools so like it what are some of your tools when you hit that spot well number one and and you gotta have a tribe you gotta have a brotherhood you gotta be and again i'm talking about men like yeah i don't like i don't you know

women you like i'm i'm a man like, I don't know how women think. But so, and you got to have a tribe. You got to have a support system. And number two, you got to freaking open up. Like, you got to say shit like that. You got to say the shit out loud because it leaves your body. And then you got to connect that, you know, devil and God and love and, like, right here.

And you got to connect them, you know, because this shit, you know, our problems and negativity love and like right here and you got to connect them you know because this shit you know our problems and negativity toxicity right over here here's love you know and and light and it's like this this this stuff doesn't get manipulated our head is and the voices are the more we talk about it the the the louder the more you believe it the more you believe it and then that's what like you said i love it how you said you just go and just more you believe it, the more you believe it. And then that's what, like you said, I love it how you said, you just go and just, just, you know,

it's happening. But I believe me, your kids, your wife knows like a week before it happens, man. Oh, for sure. It's like,

dude, I was like, shit, dude, motherfucker, you doing there? You going there again? Yeah,

she knows. She knows. But you, first we block it, you know, and then until, you know, it's like,

oh my God. And the two, it's number know, and then until, you know, it's like, oh, my God. And the two, it's number one, talk about it, have a brotherhood. For me, man, it's physical activities, it's a must. Yeah, oh, yeah, for sure. I mean, physical activity is right. But I couldn't do it without praying and meditating and just. Are you a TM guy? When you say meditating, are you a TM guy guy when you say meditating are you tm guy

yeah i don't know what tm means transcendental meditation it's a it's a whole thing yeah i had a guy ari rastegar you know you know he is i call him the oracle of the oracle of austin uh ari built and he built a eight billion dollar portfolio in just at like four years ari is a great dude told me two things, change your life. Transcendental meditation, hyperbaric chambers at 160 atmosphere. Those two things. I do all the, yes.

Don't read any books, don't do anything else, get hyperbaric chamber at 160 or two and a half atmospheres and learn transcendental meditation. So when a dude that's got $8 billion tells me that,

I did both. Yeah, definitely. And ayahuasca helped me ayahuasca i mean that that first time it made me aware of all the issues and all the stuff you know when the unconscious mind conscious mind they met together and you know and i went through the process that was the first kind of like a wake-up did you go to peru or is this like backyard shaman and okay got it in orlando it's it's it's i love him so um and and that's another thing and just being in the right environment and i mean i meditate a lot like

i'm telling you i read like freaking a lot and i meditate a lot you know i can disconnect like when i see like i'm losing my shit like my my brain is not thinking right i can like i have people that are like, we're making millions of dollars transactions. I will leave the meeting. Like, I'm not going to do this to your podcast, but I was like,

shit, I'm losing my shit. And I really leave the room. I'm like, shit, I don't, because in a few minutes we can burn so many bridges or so many problems we can create

that it's not worth it. Oh, sure. You know what I mean? So, and remember when you're in the drift, when you recognize that you're in the drift two minutes or five minutes

and you can really disconnect it or a day, that's like, you know, but you know, like I was in the drift for years and I wasn't aware of it. Dude, that's why I thank God for modern technology, right? Because now you can type shit and just like, let me tell you something. I'm going to tell you some other- Shut up, I did this shit. And then delete tell you something. I'm going to tell you some other-

Shut up. I did this shit. And then delete it. I'm going to tell you everything I wanted to tell you and then delete, right? You're doing this shit? Of course I do that. Of course.

If you're an idiot, if you don't do it, you got to type it out. You just write the email and then I'm going to tell you about this and this is what I'm going to do to you. You do what I do to it? You do what I do to it? Delete.

And it's done, right? I read it out loud in anger. Yeah, and then it's over. Yeah. And then you aren't- Imagine I read it out loud in anger. Yeah, and then it's over. Yeah. And then you aren't. Imagine this stuff. But seriously, like 40 years ago, when you had the. And then you're really spouting it out.

There is no delete on that. Yeah, yeah. So then you're really blowing people out. Now, through modern technology, we have the ability to tell people to go suck it. And then they never really know we did it. It's magical. You know, burning bridges. But you still get to exercise those demons.

But what happens is when the demons get in, even people around you, you know, you can put like a poker, like I'm a master in being like poker face, like seriously. But the energy is there. Yeah. You know, it's like, I know, hey, we're not getting anywhere right now. You know what I mean? Like, and what I realize about modern technology is like,

I feel like I'm losing this shit. And I'm pretending like I lost the phone call. Like, I lost the signal. And then I go, and then it's like, hey, what's up? So how are we doing this? And a lot of time when I call five minutes later, you know, the attorneys,

they figured out this like, oh yeah, oh, nevermind. You just come back. Okay. Hey, just so we know we're doing this this way. You're like, yeah yeah it's okay yeah but i could you know you know screw up a lot of deals do you have a mantra you say daily do you have what is the self-talk like with yourself you know uh i i have a daily ritual okay every day

what's the routine yeah let's hear let's hear the daily routine what is it well i woke up very early so what's very early like 4 a.m and the first thing i do i put my pieces and i start meditating for like 45 minutes or an hour okay okay uh and and so my queen is sleeping she doesn't even know so i don't wake her up you know this look at that uh then i go you know just go to the shower and then my ritual starts in the shower i do all my work everything in the shower so my shower is my everything like like you know it's like like if i i wait long okay what work do you do in the shower you know what happens it's not washing your hair no hell no so what happened i think all the stuff like 50 years from now 70 years from now you know now i add all the you know my legacy to the kids and all this stuff like and and i think how and then um and i go through the process like first i go to like a you know

gratefulness then i go through the pain that i got my mantras and then you know i reset that takes like you know like a you know 20 30 minutes and that's the prep that's the mental prep for the day dude i have like a speaker in my shower like shower. The system I have in my shower is like people don't have in the nightclubs. Oh, I don't hate it. Yeah, I was like, I have a sauna over there. I have a heater. I have a sauna. I have a room in my shower.

I have the same shit. My shower is bigger than this room. Yeah. And I have this view of the water. And I was like, dude, it's enormous it's, it's, it's enormous. And that's all the work is done. And then I prepared, you know, go downstairs, get a coffee. I'm a coffee addict.

I drink a lot of coffees and then I'll read. And, um. What are you reading right now? Right now? Ah, shit. Uh, Surrender by... That's a good book. Surrender, I do.

I do a lot of like a self-education movie. And I read Bible. Do you find yourself going back to the same, other than the Bible, do you find yourself going back to the same book sometimes? Yeah. What books? My Bible is I Dream the Devil.

Well, okay, the Bible, obviously, but what other books do you find? I Dream the Devil. Oh, what is that? is i'd win the devil well the okay the book the bible obviously but what what other books you find i'll train the devil oh what is that i'm sorry in hill oh napoleon hill okay there it is yes i'm sorry yeah i live by this great book because that book's like it's fun again i'm going back to drifting like you like this is like like when i look at what you drifting is like this is right there like i gotta get on this one yeah i gotta get with you because you understand like we do drift it's drifting, it's like, this is right there. Like, I got to get on this one. I got to get with you because you understand, like, we do drift. It's normal. And we cannot be judged for it.

And sometimes we just lose the, you know, because we are so focused. You know, we cannot multitask. You know that, right? I mean, just like, shit, we're doing this shit, this shit. And then I have all the people just keeping me, yeah, look outside the box. Look outside the box. I can't because i'm like right here so i need to you know just just disconnect it and and and uh and just just just ease my mind because there's the second like the voices go in it's it's i'm losing the bottle but just having the awareness that you know cut it because even

when i hit it's funny when when when when i hit that depression when i had like i couldn't get out of the bed for months yeah what happened is first i was mad because i got sick it was only two days sick okay and then you know when you're sick you start thinking all the bad stuff the divorce the kids the you know the stuff there there's some business. What the hell? The businesses I didn't buy. Like, what the hell? Like, you know, like, and then next day you add, oh, you did not get out of bed yesterday. Oh, shit. You did not make any phone calls.

You did not, you did not read anything. You did not work out. Balls were on the wrong way. Yeah. And then suddenly this shit's out. And then next day, oh, now it's been two days. Oh, you motherfucker. You lazy.

This is like, you're a loser. You're like, who gives a fuck how much money you have? Like, like you did like did you say love you to your kids about oh my god and did the voice i'm like oh dude that's why i say when i hit that space it's just get one thing done one thing because then you don't have a day like that because you can you gotta get something i don't care what it is that you can absolutely hang your hat on i got that done but here what happened is you got it when that so so so let's say i'm riding like when it happened right i'm riding 100 miles i'm running 10 miles a day i'm swimming three miles and then i did not do anything i cannot go back after being in bed for a month, do all the stuff. No.

Your body's not designed. No, it's done. So for me, it was success. Get out of the bed and walk like 150 yards to the stop sign. That was a win. But that's something. That was a win. That's a checkbox.

But what I have to, I have to forget about all the other, all the other is not there. You get there. And even if you never get there there you use this experience to do something else you know the pain and this like i have to redesign and and completely rebuild the new attic but this time like i want to build a new attic with with with you know like i don't drink i don't do drugs like i work out i you know i read like like everything in the book i do right yeah i have you know five kids i have a great queen it's like i got like and i'm still going through the same process you know and it's like little wins because we especially like the more successful you got you only want freaking home runs man

yeah it doesn't exist because then we don't celebrate the little wins well i i gotta tell you the thing that that changed me the most from that line of thinking to kind of more at peace even kill me if you will uh the book that i will say of every book that i've ever written that i'm not written every book i've ever read that's changed my life profoundly was the obstacles away by ryan ryan holiday getting introduced to a modern version of classic stoicism was so had such a profound impact on me. Can you tell me the title? It's called The Obstacle is the Way by Ryan Holiday. It is, to me, it is the most, it's really,

it's just a retelling of meditations by Marcus Aurelius, the writings of Seneca, the writings of Epictetus, all of these classic Stoics, which I think really just changes your focus to control the things that you can control. There's a lot of like, if you've read the book, The Four Agreements, there's a lot of elements of Stoicism in The Four Agreements. It's controlling what you can control, letting go of things you can't, focused on things you are because i think and it's oddly enough i was watching an interview the other day a clip of one anyway uh with jim carrey oddly enough who said something very profound that dude's actually wicked smart

he's wicked smart that guy when he opened his mouth dude like dude so he's he said you know anxiety is living in the future and depression is living in the past. And I thought- And depression is your body telling you, fuck you, I'm done. I want out. Yeah, yeah. He said that. And it's funny because as you just were talking about your negative self-talk that was eating you alive, it was all the things that you hadn't done. There was no fear of what you were going to do. It was all based on the deal you didn't do.

You didn't tell your kids you loved them enough. You didn't do this. You didn't do that. And that concept of regret was what was eating you alive. So kind of goes along with the same thing of just understanding that. And I think that book,

if you haven't read it, highly recommend it. If you're listening to this, totally recommend it. Read that. Because I think it had a really profound impact on me on being able to let go of what I did yesterday that I can no longer control and not being worried about what tomorrow brings, but trying to be as present as I can in this moment every day. And I think as an entrepreneur, like you just said, really wanting more and constantly wanting home runs and that next thing because it almost becomes like a dopamine hit for us, right?

The deal chasers. Just want to close the deal. That's the dopamine hit. That's the thing. And you still got to have that edge to be successful in business. But you've also got to get to a point where, you know, being wealthy is not having the biggest bank account. Being wealthy is not about having five supercars. Being wealthy is about not wanting for anything. And what you want for is completely within your control. What being wealthy is, figuring out everything you need is within you. Yes. And all the other stuff,

the way you start looking for validations from outside world, it means, holy shit, where do I have to work? What is missing? What is missing within me? What is the wound or trauma that did not heal or didn't even get digged in you know i mean it's like why is this why i want the fame why i want to buy a bigger jet why i want to like you know another another house why do i want another you know i want to get to you know like you know 100 billion uh uh portfolio why i want to be why why why is that and you know it's funny it's

it's it's all the billionaires and celebrities you know us we go and and we go to the you know ayahuasca we get a help from monks or books or buddhas none of them become celebrities or billionaires a motherfucker helped me out i got. I don't need any of this shit. And just being aware of it and just work on yourself and then figure out why you need this stuff, it means there's a lot of work to do. Well, it's funny. Every really, truly successful person I know

answers this question the same way when you say, what's the best thing that money buys? And it's always the same thing. It's time. I'm blessed enough to be in a place where I just got back from Europe for two and a half weeks, taking my kids over there and just fucking around for two and a half weeks all over the damn continent. And it was awesome. And I couldn't do that. I mean, obviously the wealth is important because that's the kind of result that you can get from it. So that's why I strive

for it. But it's time with my kids. Like the material things don't really matter. But however, I still catch myself sometimes. Dude, I still catch, dude, all right, prime example. Prime example. And this is so stupid, but this is the kind of thing I like. I'm struggling with this right now. Struggling with this right now. Tell me if you would struggle with this, right? So here's the situation.

My wife wants a new car, all right? She wants a new car. And literally I can buy my wife whatever she wants. I don't care. She has had every Highline car you can possibly imagine over the years. She's had them all. Currently she has a BMW and because service at BMW is just a disaster, we want to get out of her BMW. She doesn't want it anymore. So I said, babe, I'll buy whatever you want. Do some research, figure it out. Cause because i have a sat on time we'll figure it out she comes back to me and says i want a kia telluride that's what my wife wants a kia telluride i can buy you any car on the planet you want my wife wants a kia

telluride she wants it because and i looked it up dude she's not wrong, and I looked it up, dude, she's not wrong. Car and driver, number one, midsize, three-row SUV, branks over all of them. I mean, she's had GL550. I can't do anything. It's a story for you. I can't say it. Babe, you cannot buy a Kia. Everybody's going to think I'm broke.

I'm not successful. Exactly. What are you doing, babe? Exactly. No, we cannot do that. Exactly. Exactly. Exactly.

This is my struggle. So here's what happened. So I Exactly. Exactly. This is my struggle. So here's what happened. So I was in 2010. So I'm driving Maserati. In 2008, like, you know, Ferrari. And I'm living in Denver. Yeah. I don't live in Miami.

There's only one in the whole Denver metro area. And I'm driving it. And I got to the point, like, 2010, I don't need this shit. Yeah. I'm going to buy Infiniti. You know, the four-wheel drive infinity that at the sedan q q i think it was like qx yeah whatever that's qx q45 q45 yeah the qx was the big one yes and that's like for me you know we have four kids so they so so you know what are

you everybody's gonna think we broke like what are you talking about and i'm like hey but i don't want to be known as a guy with money i want to know guy like with the big heart you know and it took me years and even like right now like i i think we never like bro infinity is not a kia we can all agree with that it's not the same thing you know it's on the end of the day it's what we think about us and and that's but that's that's another thing it's like hey what why i'm thinking like that and then i go inside i know you know we can go we can talk about it but why and it's so dumb but you know what it's nice when you're in an environment you can share the story and it's like that's a different you know when i become vulnerable it's like people like yeah just me

and you and 20 000 of our close friends are hearing this right now but it's okay hey you know what not everybody's gonna think what we think but end of the day you got to be okay with it yeah you know it's like hey honey i get you i'm not ready yet i gotta do so many to work and i'm not fucking happy no i'm gonna get her what wants. I don't really give a rat's ass. I mean, dude, but I've gone both spectrums with that too because at one point we sold it 18 months ago, but I went in with a guy that I know on a jet and we had a Dassault Falcon 50.

Great medium range jet. We bought it as a business to be able to charter it. Pilots are impossible right now. I know she talked about planes. If you know anything about planes, you know pilots are really hard right now you don't have a microphone in my in my bed right no i don't no no pilots are incredibly hard i have this conversation with my queen this morning oh did you really like literally yeah yeah so we don't need a 72 million dollars like literally today this morning no this wasn't 17 this was this is a three million dollar

jet yeah and but it was a great plane but you have to have really five pilots in rotation for that business to make sense because they can only fly so much we could never keep more than three so i'm sitting on the ground way too much and we're just getting eaten alive but i will tell you this that the plane for the image that i portray for my businesses like like who i am to my clients who i am to the agents who i am to everybody else having that plane hurt me it didn't help me because all of a sudden it was like this motherfucker's got a jet like what like no dude no no no no no no no no like wait a second and it hurt me and i was like wow like, wow. It was a little too far over the line of this thing. All the perks, having money and having jet, to me, is the best one.

It's the best. It is. Dude, I miss it. You said time. Dude, it was great. Really, we get in. Hey, we're flying to Vegas. We're flying to LA.

And I'm like, dude, great. We're going. Let's just jump in. And like 15 minutes, I'm in the air. And it's like, but i run for four pilots you right and and it's like people's like oh having a jet is expensive no it's not if you charge the shit out of it yeah it's like that's what i do in the real estate business it's like you know if you have it's a fourplex in the sky if you got a 91 on the 91 and you only do it but even a 135

certificate and you just charge the plane shit out of the plane it really doesn't cost you anything even it just you know it's like they you you'll be able to if you have the right guys to the the the chart of the plane i mean you can hit 40 to 50 hours a year for free oh yeah which is humongous that's where we started that's about where we started but then when we couldn't keep pilots you're screwed the pilots are primadonals right now you got to pay 250 thousand dollars a year and they primadonals but if you treat them right they're not gonna go but they always gonna have somebody else here how much you get paid through 50 i gotta pay you 400 yeah but so so i mean but that's the business win it's hard that that's that's hard but but you might get but you're right depends on you might have a lot of people lose the business like shit

i'm not doing this shit like you know i mean it's it's a lot of people lose their business. Like, shit, I'm not doing this shit. You know what I mean? A lot of people might not like it. Well, let's finish this up with talking about imposter syndrome because I don't think we got to it. I want to talk about, for those of you who don't know what imposter syndrome is, it's when you walk into a room and you feel like you shouldn't be there. I think that's the easiest way to describe it.

Like, holy shit, who am I in this room? I'm supposed to do this, and how does that work? Talk about it, easiest way to describe it. Like, how the fuck? Holy shit. Who am I in this room? I'm supposed to do this. And how's that work? Talk about it, man. Talk about it. You know, it's funny. I was calling him imposter syndrome for years. It's like, get out of my head.

You know what I mean? It's the entitlement and the ego. It's been, and I called it for years, imposter. For years. But right now, I know he lives in my head and is controlled by devil. And I have to go, like, I got to go with the imposter. Just go for the dance. Because that's what we're talking.

That's what we're thinking. And it's, you know, and then I go, I really switch from my head. It's like, what is going on in my heart what is like what is telling you because it's like we cannot again i'm repeating myself we cannot listen to those voices because what happened is we feed the voice and the more we feed it the more the voice become louder and gives you more reason to validate your thinking but but when i when i go with the uh and that that's the reason i i reset i was like i'm going the wrong the imposter got me again you know because this gives you bribes you know it's like but look at you did this like

let's say walk in the room right look at this you don't just like you better than this you're not supposed to be here it's like you know i mean like like they call me in the kids school you know on the red carpet it's like like i have not been on the red carpet when i was freaking 10 years old 30 when i got in trouble in high school middle school and now those like do you know who they are who i am and i'm like no you know i have to completely reset and not not to that and just listen to what my heart wants to do. We always lose the battle in our head, believe me. The ego is always going to win.

For me, I always think, I look at it this way. It's like the advice, if you have a high school age kid that has anxiety about whatever they're having at school, you always tell them the same thing, which is nobody's thinking about you. They're only thinking about themselves. Everybody's worried about what everybody's thinking about them. They're not thinking about you at all. And I think if you really break imposter syndrome down to its core, what gives it power is you believe that others don't think you are worthy or you are enough.

So if you realize that others are probably not thinking about you at all, it does tend to zap a little bit of that power. That's the book's the book that's the book because what happened is when you believe the imposter that's exactly what i'm talking about you start looking validation to prove the role that doesn't give a fuck about you no to prove it that you worthy that you can do this and that's that's the bottle i'm getting goosebumps saying that. That's the battle we lose. You know what I mean? That's the battle we lose. Because the second you go within, it doesn't matter.

You know, if somebody tells me, hey, you Chinese, yeah, I'm Chinese. You know, you black, yeah, I'm black. You know, you're a woman, yeah, I am a woman. Like I know who I am. If there's a strong, strong like foundation with the inner work, there's nothing. You broke. Yeah, I am broke.

Yeah, who cares? I mean, you have a, you know, $5 million plan, not 50. Or, you know, it's like, oh, you have a plan and you partner with somebody. Yeah, you charter your plan. Yeah, so what? So what? You know, it's like it doesn't, it's like, it's a, but when you have all the insecurities and all the imposter going in your head,

it hits you, should they ride. Because you think about it when you in this, when you with yourself, when you, the second you clear the conscious, you clear. There's nothing that, nobody can poke you. Remember, your queen will always poke you. That's it. I mean, she's got power over you. She's got the right to do it. And your kids will can poke you. Remember, your queen will always poke you. That's it. I mean, she's got power over you.

She's got the right to do it. And your kids will always poke you because those are our kids. We love them and we want to protect them. We want to, you know what I mean? There's always going to be, but there's nobody around that should be able to have access to you.

Like, I don't allow access. And you know, sometimes it's like, yeah, like me being, because I was for life people pleaser and me being selfie right now like i gotta be selfish i gotta take care of myself i'm like you know people like what is he talking about it's like you know you gotta set the boundaries i'm like no i'm not you know like i i need time like you know i gotta and we gotta feed it and we gotta feed it i never understand

like what does it mean like feed the king you know it's like what like what do you mean like you know go do stuff for yourself oh no because what about my wife what about my kids what about my business and we like like when you said you disappear once a year when you don't do that when you don't fill out the bucket it's gonna take your part and the imposter is gonna win all the fucking time it's like whenever there's a problem in airplane they say put the mask over your face before you try to help others so they say same thing i never understood that same thing you know that i just understood this a year ago because i did the inner work on myself but what do you mean i have four kids like what do you mean take the mask and put on my no i gotta put on my kids and my wife i gotta cheat my mom where's my

mom where's my dad where's right now if i don't put my mask on mine i cannot help anybody so the work we do, we help. Like, look at what you do on the show. You're helping thousands of thousands of people because we just provide the shortcuts. And the second we give them a shortcut, they just build out of it. You know, that's what it is. It's like, but you got to fill out your bucket.

You cannot just speak into thousands and thousands of people and you freaking hangover, you empty, you miserable. Your wife just pissed you off. Your kids, you're going to come here. You're're gonna have no fucking energy like look at that like the way you did the introduction is like shit like that i don't think i can mention that well that well that's a good thing well tarik man if they want to uh or yannick sorry if they want to uh if they want to catch you on social media if they want to connect with you how do they find you on instagram tadleyadik at ToddLayarik.

Cool. Well, man, brother, I appreciate you coming down. It was a great conversation. I got a lot out of it. If you didn't get anything out of this, there's something wrong with you. I'm just saying that. It's the truth. There's something wrong with you.

No, but just so you know, everything is wrong with us. It doesn't matter. Because something wrong with you doesn't mean there is like, you know. You can fix it. Yes, there you go. But you need to remember this, man. Nobody's coming to save you. You got to save yourself.

And if you're somebody that's out there drifting along with the currents of life, man, it's time to start swimming against the currents and take control. We'll see you next week. What's up, everybody? Thanks for joining us for another episode of Escaping the Drift. Hope you got a bunch out of it or at least as much as I did out of it. Anyway, if you want to learn more about the show, you can always go over to escapingthedrift.com. You can join our mailing list. But do me a favor.

If you wouldn't mind, throw up that five-star review. Give us a share. Do something, man. We're here for you. Hopefully, you'll be here for us. But anyway, in the meantime, we will see you at the next episode.