Escaping the Drift with John Gafford - From Social Anxiety to Sales Authority with Brian Galke

Episode Date: December 16, 2025

Brian Galke, known as The Decoding Detective, is a master of interpersonal communication and a tactical keynote speaker who helps people see what others miss. His path to success was not linear. After battling social anxiety early in life, Brian transformed that challenge into a competitive advantage, rising through demanding retail and service environments to ultimately manage a forty million dollar portfolio as a Regional Vice President of Sales. This episode dives into the mindset shift that made that transformation possible.At the core of Brian’s work is his expertise in decoding facial features, a skill that goes far beyond surface level communication. These techniques became a turning point in his career and now serve as a powerful tool for leaders, sales professionals, and teams looking to sharpen their edge. Brian has shared the stage with some of the most respected names in business and negotiation, including Chris Voss, Brad Lea, Rene Rodriguez, Janine Driver, Steve Sims, Amberly Lago, and more. His insights are practical, memorable, and immediately usable.In this conversation, Brian breaks down how reading people accurately changes outcomes in business and life. He explains how awareness, observation, and emotional intelligence can unlock trust, influence, and growth at a higher level. This episode is a deep look at how mastering human behavior can accelerate both personal confidence and professional performance.💬 Did you enjoy this podcast episode? Tell us all about it in the comment section below! ☑️  If you liked this video, consider subscribing to Escaping The Drift with John Gafford *************💯 About John Gafford: After appearing on NBC's "The Apprentice", John relocated to the Las Vegas Valley and founded several successful companies in the real estate space.➡️ The Gafford Group at Simply Vegas, top 1% of all REALTORS nationwide in terms of production. Simply Vegas, a 500 agent brokerage with billions in annual sales Clear Title, a 7-figure full-service title and escrow company.*************✅ Follow John Gafford on social media:Instagram ▶️ / thejohngaffordFacebook ▶️ / gafford2🎧 Stream The Escaping The Drift Podcast with John Gafford Episode here:Listen On Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/7cWN80gtZ4m4wl3DqQoJmK?si=2d60fd72329d44a9Listen On Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/escaping-the-drift-with-john-gafford/id1582927283 *************#escapingthedrift #briangalke #decodingdetective #interpersonalskills #humanbehavior #bodylanguage #facialdecoding #emotionalintelligence #salesleadership #communicationmastery #keynotespeaker #highperformance #personalgrowth #professionalgrowth #influence #confidenceSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Well, that's why right now, what videos are doing the best on all social media? Once they're done with iPhones. Yeah, straight just walking, walking, talking versus perfect studios with a perfect camera, with edited this and that, because we miss authenticity with everything. We log on to people's social media. We see them live in their best life, which it's like anything else. That may be five minutes of their day. That's their best life.

But what's their real life like? I like to ask my Uber drivers when I'm driving around. Tell me some of your craziest stories. I was going to say, yeah. Let me tell you about my crypto scheme It's going to take over the world And now escaping the drift The show designed to get you from where you are

To where you want to be I'm John Gafford And I have a knack for getting extraordinary achievers To drop their secrets To help you on a path to greatness So stop drifting along, escape the drift And it's time to start right now Back again, back again

For another episode of like it says in the opening man The podcast that gets you from where you are to where you want to be and today in studio i got a banger for you and this is why like we get inundated all the time with people that want to be on the podcast that are reaching out to us i want to be on the podcast i mean it's literally like 10 people a day and don't get me wrong if you want to be on the podcast and you got a cool story i want you to come at me i want you because that's how we find good guess which is great but this is a dude that i actually reached out to him right like i love when I get the people that I am, it's like I'm curating this just for you and I'm handpicking these

guests just for you because I really believe what they're doing. So first thing I'm going to say is if you haven't watched us on YouTube, you need to go over to YouTube, please like and subscribe and here's why because what we're talking about today is going to be somewhat visual. So yes, it's still going to work on the podcast, but I think really you might want to check this out on YouTube as well. So go over to the two other YouTube channel escaping the drift over there and check us out there. But this is going to be awesome. So this dude is, an expert at something which I think is very useful, which is he knows how to decode others just by looking at their facial features. Like he can read everything he needs to know about you

by looking at your damn face, which I think is incredible. He is a master at understanding and deciphering body language. He is an expert at active listening. And this is a guy that can teach you how to communicate on levels that you just don't understand. So if you ever feel like you can't get through to people or more to the point you're not connecting with people, today, this is your podcast. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the program. This is Brian Galky. Thank you for having me. Dude, thank you for coming, man. Yeah. I'm so excited you're here, as you probably tell. I'm like going to burst out of my chair. Oh, this is great. Because this is great, because I love that you're here. And first of all, I want to talk about this before we get into that, because you and I have a very

great connection. And we live and breathe for something that's the same way. Yes. And that is keeping the dear memory. And it's so cool because I'll let them say what you said. What did you say? I said, Steve Sims changed my life. And so every chance we get to be on any podcast, we can talk about Steve and keep his legacy alive is something I love because he absolutely changed my life from him. He gave me my very first ever official speaking gig where I came on and I was a speaker. Like Janine Driver gave me my first like 15 minutes of fame. And that was she gave up 15 minutes of her 60-minute talk to let me get on stage. But Steve was the first one to officially bring me on as a speaker for an event.

And then he was my coach, who became my mentor, who became my friend. Yeah, I just, I can't say enough about Steve as well. Yeah. Like we just said, I miss him dearly. I've got his initials along with a lot of other good friends of mine that have passed away, hanging around my neck. Yeah. And he wrote the forward to my new book, which I'm so grateful for that, you know,

for Claire and the kids that he could do that. And something's getting published literally tomorrow. Yeah. that Steve wrote. And so anything I can do to keep his legacy alive, I totally agree. So if you don't know who Steve Sims is, please go look him up, read his book, buy his book, Bluefishing, buy his other book, Go For Stupid. The guy was one of my favorite people ever to be on this earth. It was a tragedy when he was taken from us. Absolutely. It was a tragedy. All right. So let's get to talking about how you got into this, man. So how do you get into reading people's faces?

Fluke circumstances. A friend came in from out of town. She said, let's go to dinner. I show up the restaurant. She calls to cancel. I'm like, great. Here we go. She's like, no, you got to come meet this guy. I said, why should I come meet this guy? She goes, he reads faces. And they go, I've never heard of that crap. It can't be real. I'm not coming over there. She's like, we please come over. I'm in from out of town. You know, come on. But I went, but I hadn't went with a plan. And that was I was going to prove that this guy was a fraud. Because I'd never heard of it. I'm an introvert by nature. So what introverts do, we pick up books to understand people, right? So I've got all kinds of body language books. You name it, statement analysis, networking. I'd never

heard a face reading before. And so I get over there and I'm like, I'm going to prove this guy is going to use, you know, kind of like mentalism, things, a generic statements that applied everyone. You've had a hard time in life or, you know, you know somebody whose name starts with, pick any letter. I do. Yeah, he's like, too knows something. It's crazy. I too know somebody. And so I was trying to wait to catch this guy. So I went in, you know, guns blazing. I was going to blow holes in this guy. And when you got there, he just had such a demeaning, like, presence about him. I'm like, or sorry, not demeaning. He just kind of brought you in. I was like, wow, okay. He just seems like a really nice guy, but I still, he ruined my night. So I still don't like him. And so he

sat us all down at dinner. He went person by person. And he started decoding their facial features. And I'm like, okay, I'm going to wait and see if he says, like, if somebody has different eyebrows, is he going to say the same thing or not? You know, or is he just saying things that people are going to go, yeah, uh-huh. And so I watched him. I was trying to catch the guy, trying to catch him. And I couldn't. And I'm like, dang it. Then he got to me. And we did it to me. I was like, this guy's been digging through my trash. Like, it's kind of scary. It was that spot on. Yes. And what I learned is it all goes all the way back to the Greeks. Aristotle wrote the first book on it. It's not a science. It's a study called physiognomy. And it's the 43 muscles in the face. The mind

creates movement, movement creates muscle. And so they've been studying over time how those muscles by expanding or contracting will alter our facial features. And so it's been studied. It was thrown out by Henry VIII. He said, I don't like the idea that beggars and vagabonds can use this against their fellow man. And he yanked it out. And part of the reason for that is something known as phrenology. So phrenology is bumps on the head determine who you are as a person. Well, the bumps on the head, first off, it's not there, but that's a permanent feature. But we're constantly changing as people. So what happens is you have a thought and you make a face. Well, over time, your face will adjust based on those repetitive movements that you have. Which is why some people look angry all the time.

Yes, RBF. Yes, it applies to men and women. But it's funny. Like I show in my presentations or with customers and clients, me is at 18. I used to have straight eyebrows. And now you can see I have angled eyebrows. Well, I didn't go have those done. I started having different thoughts and learning things. And so your face changes along with it. So our faces are constantly changing from the minute we're born until the minute we pass. And that's why when we go to like an open casket funeral, we don't recognize the person in the box because all the muscle tension is gone. Yeah. They've just like complete. Yeah. All right. Well, let's start getting into it. So if I'm listening to this, I want to, okay, teach me something. So let's start to the top and

is this how it works? You start the top and work your way down? I absolutely do. Is that what we do? Yeah. So like before doing training, if I'm going in with customers or coaching people, then I start with eyebrows because eyebrows lead to eye contact. And it's a lost art this day and age. But even with just this much real estate, you can learn so much about people. So eyebrow height tells you how long somebody needs to make a decision. So if people who have higher eyebrows, it's because they're going like this a lot and thinking, then eventually their eyebrow height will change. And so when people do that a lot, you can look at people and go, okay, this person needs a little more time before they pull the trigger, has nothing to do with intelligence. What's about millimeters? Are we talking about? I mean, like, it can literally just, anything that's more than a fingers width above your eye, okay. Is it considered a high eyebrow. Anything below that's considered low. Okay. So when you look at someone, like you have low eyebrows. Okay. I have low eyebrows. And so if you meet people and they have high eyebrows, I know, okay, let's say I have 30 minutes with you, then we're probably going to be talking for 25 to 30 minutes. Completely fine. If somebody like you has low eyebrows,

the longer I talk, the more I lose you because you want to get straight to the point, right? You want to get there fast. So when you look at someone, you can look at their eyebrow height and go, okay, do they make decisions fast or slow? And that is a very simple thing. So probably the most interesting industry that we teach this to is door-to-door sales. So those people have seven seconds before somebody slams the door shut, pulls a gun or calls the cops. Yeah. And when somebody answers the door, they answer like, yeah, exactly.

And when they answer, they stick their head out, if that, they don't open the full door. So body language is important. And I think I can recommend numerous books. I put any book that's ever helped me, I put on my website because it should be able to help everybody else. But body language can't help you if you can't see it. And so that's what I really loved about this skill is you have this much real estate. If you're on a Zoom call, you go look up somebody on LinkedIn ahead of time or even if you just meet someone, just this real estate alone can teach you so much about them. Well, you can't really go on LinkedIn because I'm in the real estate

business. And if you've ever seen a headshot of a realtor, it's either from 1987 or it's been so heavily AI filter. You can't even see what's going on. You're right. I start on LinkedIn and then I go to social media because why people post real-time pictures. Now, they still put filters on there, but if somebody else tags, though, okay, real quick. Are you married guy? I was, yes. Okay, you were. Are dating somebody? Yeah, yeah. You're telling me your spouse puts non-filtered photographs on Instagram. Their friends tagged them in it. Okay. So that's what you have no control. Exactly. You're looking for tagged photographs. Okay. I'm looking for tagged photographs. Because they're not filtering now. Right. Because they, you know, they want to look as good as they can. Exactly. It's like you

want to look skinny, hang out with 10 fat people. That's how you do it. When you have group pictures or you have you know, friends doing selfies, then they don't always filter it. But you can always tell when somebody's filtered, because you look in like, I just did a post about this. It was like Freddie Kruger normal life and then him with the filter and it was all like having a perfect face. But yeah, so you go and you find a realistic picture. So you start on LinkedIn. And the real reason that I start on LinkedIn, like you said, is how long ago was the headshot, which by the way, people should be getting headshots update at least once a year or twice year because of how much our face can change. And if you show up as a different person than people first expect you to look like,

immediately we distrust you like well wait a minute why why are you different from the person i met so people should update their photos as often as they can but start on link you hear that online daters that's for you oh 100% good lord oh so why would you why would you i don't understand that apparently look i'm blessed that i've been married long enough that i escaped the swipe left swipe right i never had to do that yeah but i cannot even imagine going on to a place to meet someone yes and knowing damn well that i look very little to nothing like who they think i look like And it's it, they do it in different ways. So I've never been on a single dating app either. I've just met people out in the wild. And, um, but I have a dating course called looking for love and all the wrong faces.com. And it's all about about this. Yes. Okay. We'll get to that. That's super interesting. We'll get to that. That's good. I have buddies who to you, like, you're like, both guys and girls who'll go out on a date and either the person is five to 10 years older than their picture or 20 to 50 pounds heavier than the picture they sent. Yeah. And immediately, you're like, wait a minute. If I can't trust you to to be who you are online, you show up completely. different. What did you think was going to happen? You don't would cure that? What's that?

Review system like Amazon. Oh, yeah. That's a good point. If literally on like Tinder, they scout where you could review people. Think about that. You wouldn't be able to go. People would be kinder to each other. Oh, yes. That's, but reviews on. I have a friend who, as soon as she meets somebody, she facetimes with them. She's like, before we meet, I want to face time with you. And the reason why, she wants to see if there's a connection, but are they also the person in the picture? But even now on Zoom, they have all the filters. Oh, yeah. You could go out. Oh, it's so crazy because you can say fix my appearance, but you still know age related. Are they, you know, 50 pounds heavier or lighter? You can see if they're maybe calling from a trailer.

You can see the background. Never thought about the trailer part. Yeah. Hey, I'm not nothing wrong with you trailer people. That's right. You know it. But let's face it, you're probably not going to be a good date. Yeah. Anyway. Yes. So it's just, it's funny because we immediately distrust somebody who presents themselves differently than they show up in real life. But I'm going back to what we're talking about, when you can go and even if you meet people, just like we walked in, You and I've never met in person until today. No. But immediately, I can look and say, okay, based on your eyebrow shape,

here's how to present the information. So you want to talk about a little... Yeah, no, yeah, give it good, bad and ugly. Because this way people watching can see it too and not just on here. Or no, at least know how to deal with me in the future, which would be probably helpful for everybody. One of the things you have right in this area here is called a Brow Ridge. So Brow Ridge people are process-driven people,

step one, step two, step three, step four. Go and look at people before and after like military or airline pilots and things. That can actually grow in over time. if you want to see an extreme example, you can go and Google a German soldier before and after war. Oh, yeah. That's wild. Yeah. And you see this whole area has grown in. So again, that's just muscle that's here. So when you say brow ridge, you mean there's like a lot, your eyebrows kind of bulge out a little. So if you were turned to the side, there's a thick area that you have here that like I don't have. That's called a brow ridge. And so when you're

looking at somebody who has a brow ridge, I know they're a process driven person. So I need to list out all the steps are involved in what we're about to do because that's how they understand. Step one, step two, step three, step four. Now one of things that you have, that's kind of interesting, is even though I can make out the shape of your eyebrows, so you have two different eyebrows. So on this side of your face where a wedding ring goes, like here, that is the personal side of your face. The opposite is the professional side.

Now, on the personal side of your face, it's more of like a rounded eyebrow. So you think about other people first, yourself second, but at work, it's more of an angled eyebrow. And that is, what's your angle, help you understand it, then you can help other people. So when people say, I'm a different person at home than I am at work, you're a good example of that literally by what's written on your face. Just because the eyebrows. Yes, just because eyebrows.

So, like, I showed the picture earlier, or I'll have to show it to you later. There's a picture of me at 18. I had straight eyebrows. And then over time, I got angled eyebrows. Well, what happened is I became a corporate trainer. I had to learn the material so then I could help teach it to other people. And over time, that became angled. So when you see somebody with angled eyebrows, it's what's their angle, help them understand it.

Then they figure out how to help other people. But if you see people with rounded eyebrows, they think about everyone else first and themselves second. So because of what a lot of your audience is, real estate, right? if you're showing someone a house, their eyebrows will tell you how to talk to them. So if they have straight eyebrows, get straight to the point, facts,

figures, data. And we've been influenced by television and movies our entire life. In addition, books are where we started, but then television movies. So what does Spock have?

Spot cab's straight eyebrows. They draw that on that character and was he care about, logic. So if you see straight eyebrows, then get straight to the point. Facts, figures, data.

Are you looking for a 3-3, a 2-2? What are you looking for? square footage interest rate they like the numbers side of things if you see somebody who has an angled eyebrow it's what's their angle what's the most important thing for them with a house if they have rounded eyebrows they think about the people around them what are the spare bedrooms for are you going to entertain here you know wait to your friend see you in your new house so when you look at someone it's learning to speak their language and people go oh this is manipulation no it's a sign of respect because i'm thinking i know how i want to present information but i'm focused on how would you

best receive the information. Yeah, that's, that's one of my, you know, we just walk by my office and it's funny because I love when everybody in their office has like trophies of like their greatness, like they're, you know, I got this award and I got that. Mine is kind of filled with lessons of failure. And like one of my favorite ones about assuming you know what people want, how to give them information is and there's, I have a script in there on my desk. We just walked right by it because I bought a, I literally, I dropped the shadow box and had to buy a new shadow box for it. So I had the new shadow box, but it's still sending my desk. And what it is. it's a script from David Flaubot

who wrote Will and Grace and a bunch of other NBC sitcoms. And when I was on The Apprentice, he saw me and was like, I got a call. They want you to come read

for this new pilot. Yeah. I was like, what? It's like, yeah, I want you star in his new pilot called goodies or whatever was. And so if that X me the script

and I open it up and I look at it and it says, on the second page, it says, in walks a goody, that's the rule they were to read for. And it was like, mid-30s, kind of doughy,

boyish charm. my no means man candy. And I was like, what? At the time, I was like a pretty good shape. And I was like, this is how the world sees.

This is terrible. Right. And then like several pages later, it said, enter his cousin Pete, think loud, obnoxious, thinks Vince Vaughn from Swingers.

Yeah. Back then, before we both looked like chewed bubble gum. I, you know, I got compared to Vince a lot back then. And so I was like, oh,

they made a mistake. Yeah. So I go to New York and I go this casting director's office. And I walk in and there's a camera guy there. And there's the casting director. And I walk in. I'm like,

welcome, how are you? And I'm like, I believe there's been a mistake. And they're like, what? And I go, yeah, you said you wanted me to read for this, but I think what you meant was this. And I'll never forget to look on her face. She just goes, you read for whatever you want. And I was like, no, no, like I instantly knew I'd screwed up. And then later I found out for my buddy who was actually an actor in Hollywood. He's like, no, dude, that doesn't matter. Like, those placeholders don't mean anything. It's just what he wrote when he was writing the pilot. And you would in there, like, served up that you were a problem day one. And I was like, so I have that as a reminder to never assume that I know what people want. And thank God that show never got made. Can you imagine

have to sit at home and watch that every week like the next sign? No, no, no. It'd be terrible. But anyway, so yes, understanding what people want and how to give them the information. I agree with you is an absolute sign of respect. So we're raised with the golden rule, which is treat people the way we want to be treated. And what we learned over time is really it's the platinum rule and treat people the way they want to be treated. And their face tells you how they want to be treated. There's all kinds of things like you can see three of the five love languages on someone's face so fuller eyelids or time and attention this area here which you have a wide one is kinesthetic hands on learners and then if they so why so okay go back you just jumped over those so start with the eye one first let's go to the eyes

so the fuller the lid is what they've studied over time is those are time and attention people so they are people who like to do things with other people so when we see like bambi eyelids is what the term for it is and of course bambi is something was adopted later not when they first start doing this, but they recognize that people with fuller eyes like to do things with other people versus doing things alone. So when you say fuller eyes, what does that mean? Fuller lids here. So when you can see like hooded lids a little bit? Yes, like hooded lids a little bit. Yes. So the more lid you see, the more they think in terms of we is an easy way to remember it. But don't all islands get hooded as you get older? No. So if you look at people like there's people who don't have

hardly any eyelid. So that's the funniest thing is people think, well, what about if you're from this certain gender or you're this part of the world? Is it that different? No, but if you're ever worried about it and offending someone, then you just skip it and move to another feature. But what they've studied over time is when you can see a lot more upper eyelid when somebody's talking, then those are time and attention people. People who don't have a lot of eyelid are completely fine doing things by themselves. If other people join them, it's a bonus, not a requirement. So that's, you're talking about like, you're talking about.

Like, you're talking about. Like, people who are wide open like this that we're talking about. Yeah. So if they're, so if you look like, bamies the term that always comes to mind. Yeah, big dough eyes. Yeah, big, big dough eyes. Yes. But they also have very full lids. And so when you see the very full lids, those are time and attention people. Then the next one of the five level languages is the wider this area is. So below the nose and above the lip, the wider this area is. Okay. Those are kinesthetic hands on people. Well, so what is that? So if you see a wide area on somebody here who's kinesthetic learner, then you use action words when you're talking to them. So hey, let's go take a walk. Let's see how this is going. Let's get moving on this project. And that's one that. So if you meet people like that, you can do the handshake. You can do.

to Hubble, a double handshake. Some people want to be patted on the shoulder. So everyone's face kind of tells you how to talk to them. And then the third one that is from the five love languages is below the lip and above the chin. If they have a horizontal line right here, that's called the affirmation line. So sincere verbal compliments go a long way for people that are that way. So when I meet someone, I can look and say, okay, they've got fuller lids. I'm going to use a lot of wee statements because that's the way that they think. If they have a line here and let's say that they cooked me dinner, it's not, hey, thank you for dinner. It's, hey, the chicken today was amazing. The more specific compliment, the happier makes the person. Line right here.

Yeah, the line right here. So a horizontal line for those who are listening. Left and right underneath the bottom lip. Yes, below the lip and above the chin, a horizontal line. If you see that on anyone, that's somebody who thrives on sincere verbal compliments. Specific. Specific. Yes. So not generic thanks, but the more specific of compliment, the happier they are. Okay. Yeah. And that's just the beginning. So there's over 150 different features on that you can look at somebody's face. But some of the very basic ones are, let's go, how do people learn? If they have larger eyes, they're more visual. If they have larger ears, they're more auditory. If they have the white area here, then they're hands-on kinesthetic learner. So when you're looking and talking to somebody, like, I'm extremely

visual, I will say, oh, I see where you're coming from. I get the picture. So wait, wait, wait, you lost me. So on ears, somebody has bigger ears, they're more auditory? Yes. So muscles in your face are making her ear grows faster? They can change. Everything in the face can change. Like, ears can go forward and backwards. I can show you the picture of me when we're done with this. As a kid, my ears stuck out more. And then they went back closer. Like my nickname was kid was ears. And over time, they went back. So the muscles are constantly pulling on things. So if you ever go and look up like muscles under the skin, it's crazy. There's 43 muscles in the face. The mind creates movement, movement creates muscle. And people go, that's BS. That's not true.

Okay, if you've ever seen somebody have a stroke, what happens? They have a stroke over here. This side their face goes limp. They have a stroke over here. This side of their face goes limp. It's the brain that are flexing these muscles in our faces all the time. That's why you can take identical twins raised in the same household, same genetic code, but they had different life experiences. And so they'll have different facial features. Yeah. Yeah, that's super interesting. Yeah. So like people bring up twins, you name it. And the big thing, whenever I'm out in an event, people go, you're just cold reading a person. I'll go, okay, find me somebody on your phone that's not here. And I'll tell you what we can see on their face too. And that's where the proof is in the pudding. Because

because there are people who are trying to say things. There you go. You can show me. Yeah, here we go. Well, no, we're going to, so we're going to, I mean, why not? Let's pull up my life. Why not? And that's the best part is when you can tell up somebody about somebody who's not in the room,

that's where you can see the advantage of it all. So let's pull up, let's pull up the old wife here. Yeah. So here's the wife, non, that's, that's a non-filtered on the way. Okay. Sorry, honey. Yeah. On the air, this is magical.

The downside is I can't see if her eyes angled back. Find one if that's a good picture. Where she's just kind of not smiling in normal face? Well, no, that's perfect picture. I just can't see the end of her eyebrows. So I can't tell you if there's straight eyebrows or if they're angled. But things that I also saw when I was looking there is both of her eyes. If you go from the inside of her eyes right here to the outside of her eyes, they both angle up.

Here's a here's a, here's a, I'm going to give you a nonvoluntary photo because I do tend to take pictures of her, which we're just everywhere. She hates that. But that's a pot is of. that's a positive. If you want to take pictures of her, she makes you happy. Yeah. I think here's, this is a non-knowing I'm going to take your picture. Okay, that's perfect. Yeah. Because what I was looking for is here. So if I zoom it, see, I wanted to be able to see if that angle or not. So she does have an angled eyebrown. That's her professional or her personal side. So again, where a wedding ring would be is the personal side of somebody's face.

So let's see, I can't see what that one is, but I'm going to guess she has them both the same way. Angled eyebrow people are what's her angle. Help her understand it. Then she can figure out how to help others. Now the next thing I notice is both of her eyes. If you go from the inside slit here to the outside slit, they both angle up slightly. So those are the people who want to hear about the upside of things. You've got to keep things positive because if you start coming in with negativity, mentally she'll shut down. So look here. So she's got kind of smaller nostrils here.

And then she has creases in her nostrils, kind of like you do. So people with creases in their nostrils have a hard time delegating things out to other people. When they do, they'll follow up with them even if after they delegate it out. She's definitely got that same thing you do, which is, the wide area here. So kinesthetic hands-on learner. Obviously, I can't see her ears, but she's got decent-sized eyes, but I'd say she's a kinesthetic hands-on-learner first, visual, second. I'm going to guess she has small to medium ears just by the other two facial features that are here. But remember I was telling you that line below the lip and above the chin?

Yeah. She's got that for sure. So sincere verbal compliments are a big thing with her. So when you're talking to, when you're talking to her, the more specific, the compliment the better. She also has a ball at the end of her nose. So people at the ball at the end of their knows appreciate beauty and you usually have like crafty hobbies so i don't know what she does but that's usually what you see that on a person um good full upper lip and lower lip so you can't keep it strictly business you need to ask her personal questions also when you're talking to her she's got talk lines on both sides so that's how she gets to know people and then she's got a strong jaw right there so once she makes up her mind she can latch in and hold the position that

she makes her mind up with so you get her to change her mind you got to come with facts figures data, not just, hey, I want you to change your mind, but here's the reasons why you have to unlatch that jaw and change your position on things. All right. And see if I'll see anything else. That's the main thing that I can see on her right now. All right. Yeah. So back to me then. So now I kind of figured how to talk to her back to me then. So we'll go, we'll show your audience some things that they can see on you. So go ahead and raise your eyebrows up. I can see them from here. But when you raise your eyebrows up, I can see several different lines. So go ahead and raise yours. So those are called Einstein line. So I know.

when I'm giving you information, don't keep at bullet points. I need to give you above, beyond the bullet point information. So I would give you the whole user manual instead of just a cheat sheet on something. Because once you're into something, you like to dive in. And those right here are earned like Malcolm Gladwell's 10,000 hours of study. It's by thinking and focusing and doing that. I'm going to say that one. Maybe it's Botox.

I don't know. You missed that one. Dude, I'm a cliff notes, dude. Are you really? Oh my God. I would not have guessed that. I cannot stand to get me. Like, if you're going to lose me in the.

details because yeah that's why I hire people I hired you tell people oh you hired people for that yeah I want to get I want to get how's this going to help me what is this going to do let's make a decision quickly let's go and then I want to hand it off to people that they can get the minute show that see that's surprise me because when you squinted down you have more than two lines which is perfectionist like tendencies well which is fine yeah which okay so okay maybe that's just personal growth then yeah I'll say because I have um like one of the things I talk about all the time is delegating at 80% yeah and being okay with 80%. And people don't understand what that means. It's like, look, nobody's ever going to be

you or do it exactly the way you're going to do it. They're going to do it 80% of what as well as you think it should be done. Right. But in reality, if you're hiring the right people to do this, what you perceive as 80% as good as what you would have done is really 120% probably as good as you would have done. Yeah, because you have, you can have more people doing it instead just you. Confirmation bias. We have confirmation bias on your way as the best way. Right. So you've got to let that go. Yes. So yes, I'm going to say you're probably accurate, but I've just maybe grown into that being a little more mature. Well, just understanding with myself that I need to just hand this stuff off because there's only somebody hours. Well, that's just it. And look, I'm guilty of this where I, a lot of times

I do all my own videos on social media, people like, why don't you have other people do? I'm like, because I had to learn all these things. And if they put out the wrong information, then I worry about the audience getting misinformation versus accurate information. So there's some things you have to do, but then it is figuring out what are you holding on to for all the wrong reasons, right? And that's what every business person has got to figure out. That's why all the books buy back your time. All these things are coming out. How do you learn to delegate?

You know, I just had him on the show. I had Dan on the show. So he's funny. He was one that I don't, it's not often after being a speaker for a few years. You get to meet a lot of people. Yeah. He was one that I was at an event speaking in Austin. He came to go visit somebody else.

I was like, you're Dan Martell. And I went and took a picture with him. I like a fanboyed out. And he can Carolas. He's just like, yeah, man. What's your name? Yeah, Dan's super cool. He is.

He's just so laid back. So cool. Because he lives in Canada, I wasn't expecting to see him in Austin, Texas. No, no, no. Yeah. And, you know, he's in his typical blue shirt and, you know, whatever. But he's super nice guy. And he just walked around.

He came down to watch some people he knew in Austin that do a special show. And he's like, well, I came to support my friends for the weekend. So super nice guy. I'll tell you another one. Just side note, Chris Voss is another one that's super. Chris has been in that chair as well. Man, we spoke at Door to DoorCon two years ago together. Yeah.

And in the green room, I was like, I'm going to get you. know, Chris. And so I kind of like sat over here and I slowly worked my way over. And we talked for 30 minutes before he went on stage. And he talked about, he's like, you know, I appreciate you have an interest in my book and everything. But you need to study other people like Robert Green because he reverse engineers and I'm sharing my things. So you need to. So he didn't make it about himself. Instead, he was just like helping me as a person. Yeah. He's such a genuine guy. Yeah. He was really. I love that. It was funny. That's how I love when people come on here to promote books. And I found myself doing this on my podcast store when you go on to promote

your book and you end up talk about other people's books. Yeah. Like, I think I actually said the other day, like, where should somebody start? And I'm like, oh, Ryan Holidays. Yeah. You know, start with Ryan Holiday. Yeah. Start with that.

And I'm like, wait a second. I'm trying to sell a book too. Wait a forget right holiday. Well, after everybody buys your book tomorrow, then later they can go back. Then buy Ryan Hollidays. Yeah. The obstacles away to this day is, is one of my favorite pieces of literature. I love that book.

And that's when you find something that impacts you down, you want to share it, right? And that's the same thing that's going to happen with your book. Your book, somebody's going to read it. and it's going to impact them and they're going to recommend your book and that's the good thing about things and even though somebody who has a book that they could be talking about theirs they're going to read yours right and then they're going to say hey you got to pick up his book and that's a very positive thing well the thing that's crazy to me and like where I think we as men have our responsibility now I don't know if you saw that um how gosh what's his name John Gladwell

is that right Malcolm Gladwell or no not Malcolm Gladwell who's got a book coming out right now on masculinity. Oh, I don't know. Sorry, just so many people, you talk about so many people and they run through your head. He's an NYU professor. I want to get his name right. So I'm going to look up. I need that guy in here that like Joe Rogan has that just looks stuff up for him.

Yeah, form on the side. Yeah. Professor book on. It's cute. He's doing a huge chore right now, but it's wild. Where it is. Notes on. Here it is.

Scott Galloway, sorry, I was close, Scott Galloway. Yeah, his new book coming out, which I'm going to definitely buy because it's the same mission as mine. Yeah. And he was on a show the other day and he dropped these stats. And I'm going to tell him to you, I don't know if you saw this or not. But as a man, I think we all need to take responsibility for this stuff and do better by the young ones coming up behind us, if we will. But listen to these stats, dude. This was wild to me.

I literally took a picture of them because it was so out there. Yeah. In between my million screenshots of what is this font. Sorry, I don't, it's my weakness as if I see a font I like. I'm like, oh, what is that font? Yeah. Hang on, I'm going to find it. Sure.

It's the best part about this. People are just sitting here. It's literally just like you're sitting here with us. Well, here, if you want, let's talk about something I recognize on you that while you're looking at. Yes. So in your left ear, you've got a crease here. So that's called a heart line.

So that line. I've heard that. Is that bad for me? Yeah. It just means you got to keep your cardiovascular health and check. So it's my wife said that to me. Yeah. So you talk to a doctor and nurse.

They're going to tell you that's a heart line. And I use it as an example because that's one that people hear a lot. You talk to any doctor and nurse. They're going to see a line and go, hey, you got to keep your cardiovascular health and check. What cause? So what causes that to have a line? It's just the way the arteries and the veins and everything change over time.

It just creates that. And it's our faces are biofeedback machines that tell us what's going on. And so by having that. that I need, well, I'm going to tell you the stats, and you're going to tell me what else I need to look out for you, ready? So here's the crisis facing young men, 18 to 24 year olds, right? 60% of them are living with their parents. Yep. 30-year-olds, 20% are living with their parents. Yeah. 20 to 24, the number not in school nor working is tripled. 15% of men say they have no close friends. Yep. They're four times more likely to take

their own life than women and girls, which I guess is crazy. So for me, when I read that, I mean, obviously my book is always kind of geared at this, but seeing that the other day, I was like, Oh my God. I make it at my personal mission to get this, this information into the hands of as many young men as I can. And the skills that you're teaching here are just invaluable. So, you know, I'll make a challenge to you to figure out how to get this information into the hands of those young men. So that we can turn this around. That's what I want to focus on. I have an eight year old daughter. So I young men need it more than anything. Like when you go through anything as a guy, we're just told, be a man. But nobody tells us what that is. Right. And so you look at like, we all have tough times. A few months ago, I went through a tough time. It was something. somebody else that saw it and they go, are you happy? I'm like, actually I'm not. I got a lot of stuff going on right now. And they go, come to my clinic for three days. I went to this guy's clinic. His name is Dr. Sean Drake. He's in Phoenix, or Scottsdale. And he's in modern athlete. And I spent three days with him. And man, the guy reached out. We did breath work. We did nervous system reset stuff, all kinds of stuff. I walked in feeling half broken. I walked out

feeling alive again. In three days. In three days. What's this guy? I need to go see this guy. Yeah. His name is Sean Drake. And he's got a place called modern athlete, but it's M-O-D-E-R-N-E. athlete and it's in Scottsdale and they do all kinds of breath work PEMF which is that's the pulsing electro frequency we have that yeah so we did that

we did light work you have that stuff you have that see we have okay my wife was trying to make me live forever I guess that means she likes me which is cool but yeah we have the red lights we have the PMF mats we have the EWAT machine where you breathe the oxygen

when you do you do all that we have all we have all on yeah you'll have everything yeah but you know the thing was when I was going through hard time, I was afraid to tell anybody because you're not supposed to, right? You're just supposed to sit with it. And that's not really the way it is. We should, as guys, we should be able celebrate wins, which we're taught not to do because, oh, don't brag. And when you have hard times,

it's hard to talk to anybody. And that's, I just did a post on this. I reposted it on Facebook where it said, I'd rather sit and talk with you for, you know, multiple hours, then sit through 15 minutes of your eulogy. And that's, that's the sad thing. I mean, we talked about this before. Like, you know, when you lose somebody that we all think everybody's going to live forever. But you know, when Steve died, I cried like a baby for a day because he impacted me to such a level. And it's one of those things that we don't realize that men need other men for a lot of things. Well, dude, and even through that, you know, 12 days before he died, we're talking about doing a joint event today. Yeah.

He was supposed to be here doing his thing, his speakeasy thing. And he's like, oh, I'll bring my speak easy people to your book launch work. We'll do a joint thing. It'll be great. by 12 days. I was under the impression. I talked to him every week. Yeah. And I was under the impression he was getting better and getting better and looking up and yep, make a plans. I should be out of here, blah, blah, blah. And then like, wham, he was gone. Yeah. And I, and I often think about, you know, did he know where he really was? And was he just putting on a happy face for all of us.

I think sometimes you have to have something that motivates you to keep going. So, matter of fact, one of the guys I had cigars with last night, he was told in 20, 23 that he was going to die within several months and he's still here and that's one of the things is do you follow medical advice that's for anyone or do you go with what you believe in your heart and there's so many stories of people who beat cancer all these things and lived five times longer than medical professionals told him was out there yeah maybe that's where steve was but you know uh yeah he did say there was an eerie post that came up one time and said like you know do whatever you have to do now because you never know how long you're going to be here and i'm like oh shit yeah i remember that

Yeah. I mean, that one was one that rocked me to the core. Well, the one where he posted himself, like, oh, I don't look so in the bed, but when he looked like really gone, I was like, whoa, that was a lot. So I'm going to do what you just did now. I was going through on the way here, things on my phone that I miss. And that actually popped up. So it's a picture of Steve. And I used, I took a picture of his favorite motorcycle and a picture of him. And I threw it into AI and I'm like, give me a picture of Steve. and that's what AI came back with and I'm like that that's when I keep on my phone

yep I'll show you my version of that yeah I sent him I sent him this I when I got that gant picture that was terrible I sent him this

which was him going from the hospital bed that he was in to out on the track with his son as well yeah which is this I use that May Day I with that and uh yeah yeah i made i'm back bitch but yeah um for those you to can't say we were using AI to motivate our friend which i highly recommend you doing absolutely because other than that i've found my favorite use for AI is torturing people on fantasy football Sunday um man i just the poor guy of one of my leagues that beat by 80 points yesterday i mean it was all day i was just

an onslaught of AI harassing him all day. It was a magical day for me. Well, and that's how men bond, right, by harassing each other. Well, it's a pebbling is what they call it.

I've read an article that said meaming is the new pebbling. So like, occasionally what pebbling is like penguins will show affection to each other by going and like finding a penguin or a pebble. Right. And then leaving the pebble at the feet of the other penguin. Right. Whatever.

So men, because we don't express emotion, we just send each other the most ridiculous foul. us get yourself canceled memes. You can imagine it's that bad. And yes, before you judge me or any other man, your husband, your boyfriend, everybody, everybody's in this group. They might, they may not be the worst perpetrator.

Like, I like to think that I'm more of just a, ooh, should I, should I get out of this group person that I, like, I'm very rarely the sender of these things. There's always one person that group that is just way, up for the line. It's completely unhinged. Yeah. Well, if everybody, women don't get this a lot of times. are like, why are you guys so mean to each other? I'm like, go watch Grand Torino in the barbershop scene.

Like, that helps explain. When he's taking the kid to teach him like, this is how men harass other men. Yeah. And it's true. I mean, that's one of the things. Like, you knew if Steve liked you if he harassed you. Oh, for sure. Like he gave me a pen that said, go F yourself.

And that was one of the things that was out there. Something that this is my ADD kicking in. You mentioned the stats with men before. I'm going to add to that. December 2023, 800 employers were in interview and said, what's the hardest thing about hiring kids out of high school in college? 53% couldn't make eye. eye contact for a job interview. Yeah, that's the, that's the thing. And I tell my kids all the time,

right? I say, which is why I love your facial recognition. We're going to get to body stuff in a minute. But being able to read people and understand where you are. I mean, for me, I always try to hire the smartest people I can. I mean, that's obviously a goal of any good employer. But I'm also trying to hire the people with IS EQ. Because if you don't understand, especially in the sales industry, when you've got people and when you're losing them. Yes. Like, you got to know. And for me, that's my superpower. Like, I, I know exactly how far I can push the envelope before it breaks. I know when to pull back.

I know I know when I have somebody. I can just feel it, right? And I tell my kids all the time, like, by the time you're mid-20s, they are 17 and 15. My daughter will be 16, two weeks. Good Lord. But by the time that they are in the mid-20s, the ability to connect with, to talk to and really connect with another human being is going to be a skill that is in short order. Yes.

And if you do that, you'll be so much further ahead than anybody else. So, I mean, if you're a parent out there, get the damn phone out of your kids' hand, at least part of the day. Yes. And make them talk to you and make them look you in the eye and have a conversation because you're right. It's, it's, it's, they're so disconnected. And we gave them, we created the problem because with this device comes the, the illusion of perfection. So even my eight year old daughter, she's like, take a picture. And then she's like, let me see it.

I don't like it, delete it, retake it. We growing up, took a picture. It got sent off for two weeks later, went to Fox photo or Eckerd's. whatever. Eckerds. Yes, it did. Eckers.

And it came back. You probably had red eye in it and you look like crap and you just lived with it, right? But with this device, they can have the perfect text message, the perfect email. I can order dinners, dates, drivers. It doesn't. And so they don't have to interact with people. And so I just did a study on this.

And you know, and you know what's funny you say about saving that. We're going back to your study. But people today are robbed of the imperfections. Yes. Because if you look back, like we have, my mom gave me years ago. she gave me like a scrapbook when she had gone to Gidgett's my wife's mother and got a bunch of pictures of her when she was younger because as they get older they don't want to hang on to them they want to go on and put them both in a scrapbook and I love that scrapbook with all of its

imperfection and all of its you know all of the horrible photographs and all of the terrible stuff that's there I love those photographs and the imperfection is where the magic and the memory is and if everything always looks perfect then that's not really how things were or are that Well, that's why right now, what videos are doing the best on all social media? Once they're done with iPhones. Yeah, straight just walking, walking, talking versus perfect studios with a perfect camera, with edited this and that, because we miss authenticity with everything. Yeah.

We log on to people's social media. We see them living their best life, which it's like anything else. That may be five minutes of their day. That's their best life. But what's their real life like? I like to ask my Uber drivers when I'm driving around. Tell me some of your craziest stories. I was going to say, yeah.

Let me tell you about my crypto scheme that's going to take over the world. All I need is $87 and we're there. Exactly. No, I always ask. I'm like, hey, you know, you've been doing this for a while. Where's some of your crazy stories? Well, I live in Dallas, Texas, and there's an area called, gosh, I just blanked on Highland Park. No, Highland Park. And these are the big, huge mansions, you know, 10, 20, 30 million, whatever it is, like a small one's, five million there.

And the Uber drivers say, like, oh, well, I'll pick up the person here and they'll tell me how horrible their life is. Or they'll ask me, like, can they sleep with me on the way to being dropped off their house because their husband hasn't slept with them in eight months or whatever? And it's just so you see these beautiful houses on the outside, but you don't know what's going on in the inside. And that's what social media is. People are only putting this best thing that's out there. That's what I like talking about things I screw up or like when monies, when months, when it's like, oh, crap, I don't have any gigs this month. What am I going to do for money? You know, you got to share what's really going on with people because it's causing depression at all time high because they're comparing and thinking everyone else's life is perfect when it's not.

Well, it's not that, but it's more than that. Because what it's doing is it's expanding, it's moving the goalpost to an unreasoned, to an unrealistic place. Yes. And I was watching this video the other day that I thought was so interesting, some random dude online. And he was talking about why they will be blood is the perfect movie. And he said, it's not because if you never seen it, it's incredible movie, it's incredible movie. But they say the reason it's everybody should see this movie is not because they think it's beautifully shot or a wonderful story because it is a depressing ass long story. Yeah.

An oil man in the turn of the century. Okay. But essentially, he says this, the reason you should watch this movie is because this character is currently in all of us. Okay. Because through the movie, he gets family. He gets faith. He gets all of these things. And none of it make him feel.

None of them make him happy. Yeah. Nothing makes him happy. It is a relentless pursuit. Right. For more. Yes. For just more.

Yeah. And you see how this relentless pursuit for more has just made this. person completely hollow. Now, I am all about, I mean, I'm all about being the best you. Yes. But I'm also about setting goals and understanding the person that you are kind of are going to become or the person you're trying to become is about making others around you better. It's about actually having happiness. And what might make you happy, what those goal posts are, don't need to be the same for everybody. Right. It doesn't, it doesn't matter, right? Like, when people come and interview with our company, I'm always like, how much money do you?

want to make. Yeah. And I know if somebody says, I want to make $87,000 a year. Right. And that's a very specific number. I'm not going to sit there and say, well, you should want to make $250,000 a year. Because they've probably thought this out. Right. And that's their number. What's the specific number for? Yeah. Because that number probably provides them a life that they can spend all the time they want with their kids and not worry about any their bills and take their vacations and do what they want to do. And they don't care if they ever get a Ferrari. Right. They're not trying to get a Lambo. Yes. They don't care. Right. But I think it's so funny, especially in this industry with what we do with some people like,

oh, no, no, you need to be making, no, no, come work for here. We'll show you to make $300,000. Well, dude, no. You just need to get people where they want to go and where they decide they need to go, not where Instagram tells them they need to go. I sold my soul for $50,000 one time. Oh, no. Yeah, well, I was in corporate America and I got moved from one position to another one.

And I went from a job I love to a job I hated for eight hours a day over money. And that's the whole thing is I didn't look at the freedom. I had before. I was going visiting clients, customers, and everything until I went to eight hours a day of Zoom calls, you know, and just it robbed my soul. And I'm so happy not to be there anymore. And it just wasn't the right job for me. It might be the right job for somebody else, but I wasn't meant to me on Zoom calls. I have a stand-up desk. I want to go visit people. I want to travel. That's what I love doing. And like you said, it's different for every person. I know somebody who, they just want a big house that they can be in and never have to leave their house. If people want to

come visit them, great. I'm not that way. I have a town home. I live in a walkable part of town where I can walk and go out and do things. Love that. Yeah. I think you know what's funny. I just did a deal. I just did a speaking event in Dallas. And it was a at the Omni maybe. Yeah. It's like 10 minutes from me. And so I literally walked. I just went and walked all through downtown Dallas. Yes. Like I mean, I just because I'd never really done it. And I walked all the way down to like where the W was from the Omni. Yeah. And then I cut across to where some restaurant was. And I walked back through where like the Dallas Baptist churches downtown where you're like, what is this complex? something. And you're like, yeah, this is a damn, this is a church. Yeah. This thing is crazy.

I've spoken there. Like they have, they'll run out. It's wild. Yeah, it's huge. Yeah. But I love how, but I, I never realized how really walkable Dallas was. And I loved it. It is. Well, yesterday. So I, I'm staying at Paris Hotel. And the guy was meeting at eight cigar lounge. You know, that's it. That's a minute. Yeah. It's a mile and a half. I walked it yesterday. Because I was like, it's such a nice day out. Beautiful day. Why not? You get to go people watch and you could see a little bit. A lot. Yeah. There's a lot to see. Especially when, especially when you get on the other side of like the wind. There's a lot to see down there. Oh, yeah. That makes life a little more interesting. Interesting area when you get over there. But I decided to walk it because I'm like,

why not? I'm like, I could sit and, you know, I grab sushi or whatever, but I'm like, I'm here. Why not go and explore? And that's what I love to do. And because I love people watching and looking people, that's your thing. Like, I'll make a game when I walk from like one place to know, like how many rounded eyebrows can I see? How many straight eyebrows? Because nobody's ever paying attention to people just looking at. And what are you doing? Eyebrows lead to eye contact. And so you get to just look at people real fast. And I love doing it. Oh, man. So I love that because you're sharp, you're sharpening your sword everywhere you go because so many people don't. Yeah. Most people are so oblivious. They're caught up in what's going on. What do I need to do for

social media? We forgot how to connect with other people. And that's the study I was going to tell you about earlier is you were talking about emotional intelligence and teaching it to the kids. What they have said is, and this was when I researched it was back in August is people who learn soft skills. Number one, that's the number one skill for the future. Everybody agrees on this. The World Economic Forum, everybody says soft skills, emotional intelligence skills are what will keep people employed in the future. If you learn soft skills, 28% higher win rate in sales, 55% peer-to-peer relationships improve,

63% of customers will stay with you or coworkers will stay with you, like employees, because you can make them feel seen and heard. And then the last one is an 88% boost in productivity. Why? Because if I know how to ask for information from you and the way that you hear me faster, it speeds everything up. Yep. The world moves faster. And people who say, well, I just email and text, great, AI can do that.

Chat GPT, you can have a chat GPT agent right now, text and email every one of my clients. If you're not picking up the phone, you're not meeting with people, you're not going out in public, you will be unemployed at some point. That's what I tell people in our industry is you've always got to try to elevate this on the communication ladder. If somebody sends you an email, you got to maybe you can send them a text. If you send you a text, you need to call them. I mean, you're always trying to elevate. If you're talking on the phone, you try to elevate to a face-to-face. You're always trying to, you're trying to move up the communication ladder.

Absolutely. So where you're face to face. And you want to figure out how do they communicate. So, for example, Janine Driver, body language expert, if you don't know her, I'll introduce you. She has very large ears and she has small eyes. So what we talked about earlier, that's an auditory person. If I want to get to- Is it stereotyping, though?

No, go and do it. No, seriously, we can go through picture after picture and talk to people. Because look at when babies are born, what do they all have? They all have large eyes. And what happens over time is baby's eyes adjust determining if they stay visual or do they like to hear things. Because when babies are born, they have vision. They don't understand sounds yet, and they don't know how to make words. So that's why this is the biggest feature, and then that changes over time.

So with Janine, I know she's auditory. So I have to send her a voice text or a FaceTimeer. If I send her a regular picture or meme, she doesn't respond for days. So what I have to learn is based on who I'm talking to, how do I want, how do they best respond is how I send them stuff. It's like next level matching and mirroring is what it is. Yeah, it's funny. I'm all about how you receive information. I've got a big problem tomorrow because my book has dropped.

tomorrow on November 11th, and I just found out. Unfortunately, yesterday I'm up against another huge drop, which is McDonald's is dropping the McRib tomorrow. So I'm going to do a comparison video today on why, if you're trying to figure out which one to buy tomorrow, the McRib or my book, which one is better. And one of the categories I'm winning it is consumption because McRib, you can only consume it with your mouth, but my book, because I have the book, which you can read with your eyes. But I also did the Audible book. Yes. You can listen to it. So that's two to one. So checkbox for the book over the McRib tomorrow. That's right. Oh, I'm doing a whole video on this.

Oh, you're sure. I've already decided. Oh, that's great. Because there's going to be people that struggle tomorrow. Mikrib, book. I don't know. I think because you have a good size audience, all you have to do is tag a few people and go, hey, help. How many, yeah, how we get, well, yeah, we've done that very well. Luckily, I have an army of good friends that have big followings that all receive the book in advance. And tomorrow will be post-Share Armageddon, hopefully. Well, when we leave here, we'll take a picture. I'll hold up your book. Love it, man. That's called to hear it. That's called. the hero picture in the PR world is what you're looking for.

You're looking for the hero picture. So that's good. I love that. Well, you give me the hero picture. I'm going to give you a book. I can make you buy one. Well,

I'm going to buy one anyway, so I can leave you an Amazon review. I can't give me Amazon. Yes. Which is important. It is superly important. And that's what people don't understand is when authors give their books away. They're doing it because they want to share the message.

And that's absolutely what you're doing. But the hardest thing is you can't leave an Amazon review if you don't buy the book. You can. It's just not verified. Oh, okay. I didn't know that. Yes. Because we have, because when we did this, we did a huge sale internally.

Yeah. So we do a lot of internal sales. Right. And those people, again, we're all going to email tomorrow. Hey, please, you know, your book should be shown up today. When they do, please give us a review. There you go, no problem. And then I guess I have to go to Barnes & Noble today and sign the stacks wherever they are.

Yeah. That'll be fun here locally. That's an awesome problem to have. It is a good. So let's get back to what we can do to help other people because enough about me. Let's talk about body language. Yes. So rather than read others, let's talk about body language on how you can present yourself.

So people, what are some things people can do to make themselves more likable? Because I think after hearing that stat of only 15% of guys especially say they have friends, what can I do to walk into a room, body language wise, facial expression wise, whatever I can do, to make myself more likable. Sure. So we'll go face first, body second. Yes. There's a really good book called The Like Switch, L-I-K-E.

It's a red book, and it was written by a former FBI behavioral analysis unit expert. And what they said is when a stranger enters the room, we immediately look at their eyebrows to see are they raised in recognition or they furrowed like a foe. And so if they're raised, like, hey, how's it going? If they're like this, instantly we go into it, oh, that's a predator. So when we walk into a room, raise your eyebrows up, tilt your head and smile. Why do you tilt your head? Because you're saying, I'm showing my carotid artery.

I don't feel threatened in the room. And when you smile, mirror neurons. When you smile, I want to smile. So they actually teach people when they walk into a room, tilt your head, raise your eyebrows up, and smile. That's a simple one. Now, when you go to body stature, when you walk into a room, if you have your shoulders slumped and everything, then you don't look confident. But if you have your shoulders back, then you walk into room, people are like, wow, that person owns the room. And when you walk in, you have to think of yourself as like the main character in a movie.

How would they walk into a room? And there's all kinds of mental tricks you can do in what one book teaches is every time you walk into a room, imagine like a stirrup is here that you have to put your mouth in and so you raise your head up and so it's like when you're walking into a room so imagine it's just hanging there and you have to bite it why so it forced you keep your head up not just your shoulders back a really good book on that subject is uh you say more than you think by jeneyne driver that was written i actually before i ever met jean i bought that book because what happened during the pandemic all of our body language went to crap because we sat home we're wearing like professional stuff up here

workout gear down below you know we stopped this is in the front party the rear, buddy. Exactly. It was, it was the, you know, the business mullet days. The business mullet. Yeah, and we were all doing COVID pours when we were drinking and everything else. But we got to, depending on how our desk was, our camera, we got sloppy with our body language. And so what you want to do? And like, I'm not doing the best right now. If you walk in and you meet people and you stay. That's a hard couch to sit on and be straight. You have to have open body posture. Because when you're open, then people want to talk to you. When you're closed off, look how just the difference of doing that. Yeah. But what people misunderstand is the room might be cold. So if somebody

sits like this or there's studies that when people do this, it's right brain and left brain working together. So the important part of that is how fast do people cross their arms or legs is what you pay attention to. So when you're walking into a room, shoulders back, head high high, walk in, raise your eyebrows up, tilt your head and smile. If you don't want to tilt your head and smile, that's great. Don't walk in. If you need glasses, go get your glasses, get contacts. Because when you walk in like this. The James Winston, where my receiver's face. Yes, exactly. college and it's rbf because when you do this people think oh they're angry and i didn't know this when i was younger so before i had PRK done um which is like LASIC but they don't cut your eye they like

microderm abrasion your eye out so that's when i needed glasses it's a cool way to do it because they don't have to slice your eye but i used to walk in i didn't realize i was frowning all the time and they're squinting and people like why are you so angry i'm like what are you talking about i'm a pretty jovial guy yeah but instinctively when a stranger enters the room if we see this we think foe and after we look here then we look in their hands for what can you kill us so if you want to do that, just good posture, just raise your eyebrows up. And you walk in here, I'm like, hey, recognition versus this. Yeah, it's funny. I've told people for years something that I got from Tony Robbins, which is if you want to change your life, just spend five days walking around like you

have a string attached to the middle of your chest pulling up. Yep. Just watch how much differently the world reacts to you than walking around. I'll slump to right. Yeah. So Janine, I'm going to screw up her rhyme, but she like me likes to make up little mnemonics that people can easily remember. But it's like where the wall meets the ceiling is a good feeling. And what it is is you want to, when you walk into room, project like if your Tony Stark and your light was shooting off your chest, you want to go right there to where the ceiling meets the wall. Because when you walk in, you do that, of course, I'm sitting. So it looks awkward. But you have the right posture when you're doing it. Yeah. Yeah. So it's another way that people can mentally do it is thinking if they have

the Tony, the Iron Man light here, how would they project it to right where the ceiling meets the wall? Okay. Now, if I'm talking to people, how do I know if they like me? How do I know if they don't don't like me. Sure. We lean towards what we like. We lean away from things that we don't like. That's a very easy one when you're looking at body language. There's all kinds of things that you can look out there. Like every once in a while, if you look at your watch and somebody else does it, it's because they like you and they're going to do the same thing. A very simple one is if you're out at a restaurant or something like that, take a sip of your water and see who does it at the same time you do. Yeah. So those are little things that you can do. But here's one that is you have to be

paying a lot of attention to people. If their lower eyelid is rounded, our eyes are like camera lenses. So the wider the lenses, the more it takes in. If you're talking to somebody and they've got a rounded lower lid, so for the people listening, what I'm pointing at is the lower part of the eyelid are rounded. Yeah. If they suddenly go straight, you just flatlined because they're trying to shut you out for something you said or did. So I've used this in business negotiations before we're going over contract terms and I saw across the table two eyelids went straight. Like, uh-oh, they didn't like something. And so you can you just say, you know, it seemed like something didn't sit right with you. Can you, you want to go into that? And like, yeah. And then we went into it and

we resolved that issue. But it was all because I was paying attention. I was giving them eye contact and I saw that lower lid go straight. And so that's just a sign that you just flatlined. Something you said or did killed the deal. I wish I could have been a fly on the wall with you and Chris Voss talking. Were you guys at all discussing things that you see? Not that happened. I was bandmoined him. Well, we were just talking about what I teach a little bit, but I mainly wanted to meet him because his book changed my life. It was one of those when I got moved into sales. I got the book, and I even told him a funny story, or two funny stories. One is when you listen to his audible, it's a very eloquent speaker who reads the book.

And then you meet him in real life. And I was, oh, yeah, that's a weird way. The other thing was, I really liked his book. And this was back when I was still in corporate America. Never split the differences. Oh, yeah, never split the difference. But my company would never invest in sales training force. So I found out he was in the Tower Club in downtown Dallas.

He was hosting an event there. And I worked from homes. What I did is I went snuck my way into the Tower Club. And when they all broke from a session to go to the bathroom and everything, I walked in, had him sign my book. He's like, I don't remember you being in here. I'm like, because I'm not. And I took the book and left. And I got a picture with him.

So I showed him that picture when we were in the green room. I'm like, so I kind of crashed your training four years ago. He was really cool about it, though. Well, here's the thing, though, man. I'm going to take that is probably one of the best learning lessons of today, which is so many people that are stuck in life or so many people that are not getting what they want in a life are waiting. Yes. They're waiting for, you could have been like, man, well, my company doesn't invest in sales training, so I'm not going to get any.

Right. You could have been like, oh, well, I'm just, you know, eventually maybe they'll figure it out. Yeah. Give me like, maybe I'll get an email that says, here, try this. Yeah. But no, you were like, this is something I need. This is something I want. So I'm going to go out and figure out to get up my damn self.

Yeah. Right. No one is coming to save you. Right. You've got to go save yourself and you've got, sometimes you've got to take chances like that. And it's funny that every high performer that I have that normally comes through or has some sort of a story like that. Yeah. where it's like, well, no, I just busted my way in the room from Jesse Esler buying all the damn croissants one day.

I love that story. Just because he wanted to meet the guy that he wanted to meet. So he bought up everything he was buying all day. Great a shortage in the croissant market or muffin market. Yes. It was. Sorry. It's like that story.

I mean, and honestly, you know, in the moment, he probably would have been a little upset that he were skating his sales trading expense. But later, but as you meet him later, it's like, I appreciate the hustle. Yeah. Right? Well, he did. He enjoyed the picture. took another one. So I have a picture five years apart of him and I together. And I'm holding his book and both of them and pointing at it. So the hero shot again. Yeah. But it is. And I posted

that picture. And what's funny is I got bumped into him a few times. And he came on. I was in, I'm still in Steve Simms distillery group. And he came on as a guest speaker. And Steve goes, hey, do you know, Brian? He's like, oh, yeah, I know Brian. I'm like, oh, he knows me. Yeah, yeah, because it's funny. When you get in the green rooms with people, what I realize is I've always loved speakers. And that was one of things when I met my ex-wife, she said on her first date. She goes, what do you want to do with your life? I said, I want to get paid to travel the world and teach people something. And speaking allows that. And the more time I spent in green rooms, what you realize is a lot of people are introverts, but they have a message to share with people. And they

overcome that to go out on stage. So like our friend Steve, when he got done speaking, you know, he'd have to go high tell it to the bar or his hotel room because he was spent. Yeah. And he's a super introvert, right? But when you see him on stage, he absolutely rocks it because he had a message to share that he wanted to help people with. Yeah. Yeah. Love that. Love that. All right. Well, Brian, man, if the people want to, if the people want to get in touch with it, how do they find you? So the easiest way I'm subtle skills everywhere, but I realize not everybody can spell subtle. So they can't. S-U-T-L-E. Yes. S-U-T-L-E. Yes. S-U-T-L-E. I'm, I'm such the victim. I am the proponent of, sorry, I've done that so many times. It's crazy. Well, that's why,

so then I got decode the face.com. Make it easy for people to find me. Decode the face. Much better. When I first did the first one, I was like, I'm genius. Temporaneous, peripheral face reading.com. It's like, wait, what? No. Bing. Every time they try to chat. You know, it's way, I go and look up different URLs all the time. And I'm like, okay, is this one available? So people always ask like, Brian, how, how can I get your cheat sheet? And I'm like, okay, well, I went look, get to cheat sheet.com was available. I bought it immediately. Dude, I do the same thing. I do the same thing. I have like, my wife's like, what are all these URLs for? I'm like, I don't know yet. They were just available. So I bought

them. I've got some old ones. I've got Punishmyliver.com. Because at one time, I thought, okay, I want to buy that and just do happy hour specials. And I've just held onto it for years. I have nothing else with it. Dude, I had one I was so proud of. We're actually launching a new product for our company on Friday. It's a, it's an AI powered hone owner hub. that is basically has 90, has every appliance you can possibly have in your house. Every refrigerator, every HVC system, every hot water heater,

everything you can possibly have in your house. And I got to just take a picture of it and it'll find the warranty information, the user's manual, tell you how to troubleshoot it. And if you can't fix it, it has like, here's your license people that can fix this for you in your market.

All of that is right here. And it's designed just to be a cool thing for homeowners that as realtors, we can give to our homeowners at closing. So it's a good way for us to stay in touch with them in two years from now, like, hey, man, what's going on your fridge? Did it break? What's, what's going on?

I can do. It's just a good way to stay, help your clients and stay in front of them. And I was like, cool. So I bought, uh, ownerpad. Yeah. I was like, dude, what a cool URL. Yeah. And I was in my buddy Steve Trang last week, the Disruptors podcast in Arizona.

And he was like, yeah. And he was like, man, I'm launching this thing next Friday. And he's like, owner pad. He's like, as soon as we got out there. He's like, bro, offer pad's going to sue you if you do that. It's like, you're going to see some assistant two second. I was like, really? He's like, yeah.

And I was like, damn it. So now we have Haven Hub, which is coming up. Yeah. But we'll see if it was a mistake because I got H-A-V-N, no E, this Haven Hub, because I liked it better because it's shorter. Yeah. So hopefully we'll see if that works. But I may regret that URL.

I don't know. I don't know. But the best part is you can just always buy another one. I know. I know. My favorite, like, I think my favorite was I bought Real Tour. Because I had an app that was essentially it was before it's time, but we're bringing it back now in a different version.

Yeah. So this is like 10 years ago. go. So I had it where, like, you could put, um, at the time they were Android tablets in a house. Yeah. And then when you walked in, the buyer's agent and the buyer would pick up the tablet and then you would touch the room you're in and the agent would give you a tour like they were there. Oh, okay. Nice. So it was real tour. Yeah. Like real tour. Like realtor. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Love that you are. Yeah. loved it. So yeah. But now we're bringing it back because it didn't work because the QR, the tablets were too cumbersome. Yes. You had to have,

you know, hardware to make it work. Right. Now, thanks to COVID, QR code. Ah, I just put one on every room. You've got your code in every room. See, that's fantastic. Same the day. Yeah. Everybody's just got a phone. You don't do no hardware.

Right. So, yeah, we're bringing it back, relaunching that very soon, which I'm happy about that. So when you're doing that, so let me give you tips for that, for that part. Yeah. When you're talking around the room, you need to do auditory words, visual words, and kinesthetic words. Okay. So when you're talking to them, as you take a look at this room, you know, and you can hear by the da-da-da-da-and, you know, once you put in an action word, because you want to speak to all the people that are there. So whoever's creating that auditory or that tour, they're going to speak the way that they think, but you're leaving out two-thirds of the people if you don't add in words for all three of the things. Does that make sense?

No. So what I did. No, it does, but on a different way that you think it just did, because the way my brain works, I didn't hear that I need to advise people to do this. I heard you need to make a GBT that has that programmed into it that you can share with people through the thing so it can write their descriptions for them that they can read the script. Yes, that's perfect. That's what I heard. That's what I just heard. That's actually a better way to do it. Yeah, because if you try, because now I've got to teach people. Right.

They've got to learn how to spell those words, which we've already decided is a really bad angle. Yes. Yes. It's a terrible angle to do that. And so it's just easier to probably train a bot. Absolutely. So just say in all my marketing, make sure I use auditory, visual and kinesthetic terms.

Yeah. Because you never know. So for example, when I do presentation, so if I get hired to do training or speaker, I make the presentation for the person. So let's say it's for you. But let's say you're not the final approval person. adding those other two because I don't know who the other decision makers are and I want to speak to everyone.

Man, good stuff. Yeah. Well, dude, I learned so, I thought today was awesome. I learned so much again. I'm so appreciative for you taking your time to come in today. I said, next to New Mexico, man. It was great. And, dude, listen, we talked about so much today on the podcast.

And, you know, we talked about you needed to save yourself. And the more skills that you have into the modern economy, especially with AI coming to take your jobs and everything else that's happening, the more soft skills you can develop, and this is an incredible soft skill, because it's almost like being able to read people's mind. If you can figure out exactly how to give people the information in a way that they're most at to receive it, well, you're going to start creating incredible value for people, and people that create incredible value are very rarely stuck in the drift. We'll see you next time.

What's up, everybody? Thanks for joining us for another episode of Escaping the Jules. Drift, hope you got a bunch out of it, or at least as much as I did out of it. Anyway, if you want to learn more about the show, you can always go over to escaping thedrift.com. You can join our mailing list. But do me a favor. If you wouldn't mind, throw up that five-star review.

Give us a share. Do something, man. We're here for you. Hopefully you'll be here for us. But anyway, in the meantime, we will see you at the next episode.