Escaping the Drift with John Gafford - Got the Blues? Getting back to Happiness EP 24

Episode Date: November 10, 2021

The Power Move Episode 24Learn and burn Entrepreneurship from serial entrepreneur John Gafford and his band of mayhem makers. From stripper poles to the oval office, business lessons are everywhere. This Week:Everybody gets the blues sometimes, even high functioning entrepreneurs. This week John discusses his bouts with depression and the steps he uses to emerge from the funkWith John Nelson and Colt Amidan

from the art of the deal to keeping it real live from the simply vegas studios it's the power move with john gafford back again back again back again for another exciting episode of the Power Move. I am, as always, your host John Gafford. To my left, Colt's close-up Amidon is what we're going with today. Yeah, close-up. Yeah, because here's the thing. Normally, if you watch us on YouTube, we've given Colt kind of the wide shot, which I'm still in it. And I just decided that, you know what, maybe it's time that Colt kind of the wide shot, which I'm still in it. And I just decided that, you know what? Maybe,

maybe it's time. Colt has earned his own shot. I like the wide shot though. Yeah, no, but you're back. Now you have your own shot, but now I just see you.

Literally, if you're watching this on YouTube, Colt is going to be staring at the monitor, looking at himself in the camera, which is, which is going to be terrible. Which is going to be terrible. See, I like our new guest. I like our new guest. Yeah, it is that.

So not with us today, though, out because he's literally on a yacht in the Bahamas. The West Harlem kid, he had to fly commercial airlines. I know, he had to fly commercial. So Chris Connell, Esquire, not with us today. But sitting in his chair is my man, John Nelson, who I like to call, John works here. He is the, what I like to call the, what's your flipping excuse agent. And what I mean by that is when you talk to John and you hear a little bit about him,

you don't have an excuse if you're an agent, if you do what John does and how that goes. So a couple of things, John, I want to help you out. First of all, welcome to the show. Glad to have you. Thank you for thank you. Yep. Happy to have you sit in with us this week. A couple of things we are going to need you to do, though.

Okay. Because one of the things that Chris always brings to the show is there's at least two or three scrabble words that he brings that we don't know what the hell he's talking about. Okay. How's it going along? So I took the liberty today. All right. I ripped off four today. All right. I ripped off four words.

All right. And I am going to do you a little bit of a solid as I wrote what they actually meant. So I'm going to need you when I kind of give you the set. No, you can't look at them because they don't know what they mean. You can't explain to Cole what they mean. But yeah, as it comes up, I'm going to need you to just, because as I kind of point out to you, I'm going to need to just kind of use one of those words in a sentence. And so we won't lose the integrity of what we normally have yeah

exactly you know what if i can't say them properly my problem would have been the same thing no that's okay we just we just want to keep we want to keep the purity of the show going on. Now, the topic for today's show is actually, here's the deal, man. Always we want to entertain first and educate second because, I mean, if this isn't entertaining, you're not paying any attention. You're just not. But I am going to talk about a serious subject today. And I made a post yesterday on Instagram. If you don't follow me, it's the John Gafford, uh, on Instagram. And I made a post where I put a picture of me from a day that I was in a photo shoot. And, uh, that day that I had that photo shoot done, man, I was in a, uh, several times a year. I get, I get nailed with, uh, the doldrums, the blues, uh, the funk, my wife calls it, whatever it is.

And it's crippling, man. I go down for weeks at a time. I mean, it could take 10 days. It could take seven days. It just depends. Where literally, man, I don't want to do, I can't, I barely leave the house. I don't want to get off the couch. Like the blues just sit on me. So I did a post yesterday where I said, hey, look at this guy, calm, cool, collected in this photograph.

But the reality of it is I was in the middle of a funk when I did this. I could barely get off the couch. And, you know, things aren't always as they seem on social media. And if this is something that plagues you as well, A, you're not alone. B, good days are around the corner. And most importantly, I've got some things that I use and I do to get me out of those things. And I said, if anybody's interested in that, let me know. And, man, I got blown up. I mean, I got straight, it was, you know, I wasn't, I wasn't, when I do

stuff like that, it's part of one of my, you'll, you'll hear why I did that when we go through one of these things is, yeah, I was a little funky last week too, but you'll hear why I do that in a minute. But as we go through that, you know, it was, the response was overwhelming for me. And a lot of high level people that I know were like, me too me too like the same thing same thing and uh and everybody wanted me to share kind of what i do i mean what about you colt does that ever hit you i thought this was going to be a episode about marrying crazy latinas as we brought jock well no well i guess that's true that's a good point you know we can get to that later as you guys be married to crazy Latinas, which we can. Yeah.

There we go. No, you know what? I think it was a masculinity thing, right, not to show that to people. And I think that the more and more you see people with, you know, maybe higher power, stuff like that, open up and see it, that I think the majority of people do it and have to go through and there's times that it'll hit me for a month i'm just like i don't want to be around people i mean it hit me and john went to dinner one night yeah and i was just in a shitty mood for no reason i know i probably came off that you know when we went to javier's but it does it hits me and i think that you know

i try to mask it up and cover it but you know that's why i head out of town a lot is just to clear my mind so if i don't go out of town for four or five days to clear my mind it might last a whole month of doing it so you know i think that you just got to kind of step back and you know re-evaluate what's going on. But, I mean, and it's a lot of times it's nothing bad going on, right? No, no, no. Life is great. Life is great a lot of times.

When I'm going to talk about that, that's the worst thing is it actually hits when life is going great is the weird thing. First of all, this weekend, apologies to you and your wife. Again, I was a little bit of a funk. I don't know, man. I'll go 50 50 with you on responsibility for what happened this weekend because yeah it's 100 on all of us no no no no no so colt's wife and colt invite me and my wife out the huge boxing fan to watch the canelo fight and you don't understand like we live in vegas right so when there's an event somewhere it's

like a big deal man there's like carving stations, it's like a big deal, man. There's carving stations and there's all this stuff. I mean, it's a big deal, right? You go and especially if you can't go to the actual event, the sub-events are pretty amazing. Yeah, they're like little lounge parties. They're exciting. They're fun times. They're fun times.

Too much fun. Open bar. Yeah, sometimes it's unbelievable. You know, people get dressed to a hilt and everything and you know, it's on you, but yeah, we kind of made a mistake this weekend. So Cole calls me up and he says, Hey, you know, you want to go to this Canelo fight party at park MGM? I'm like, sure. I'm just, he's like, it's like 140 bucks or whatever it was a person, whatever it was. And I'm like, yeah, put us in for two. And as soon as I said, yes, I was kind of like, man, I don't know. Again, I was kind of

a funk. I'm like, I don't really want to even leave the house. You know, this is it. So I'm like, well, okay. But I'm like, I'm going to arduously drag myself through this. So I of like, man, I don't know. Again, it was kind of a funk. I'm like, I don't really want to leave the house. You know, this is it. So I'm like, well, okay. But I'm like, I'm going to arduously drag myself through this. So I'm like, let's make a phone call down there and see what works. It's probably going to bring you in a better mood. Yeah, that's what I'm thinking. Just to get out a little bit and see a little bit. But then I called down there and I'm like, so we're talking about going to eat some food.

And I'm like, well, let's do it. Let me just see what kind of food they have before we go. Right. Because, I mean, if it sucks, we can go eat somewhere else. So I called down to the park and I'm like, you know, what are we working with? Like food and beverage'm like well let's do it let me just see what kind of food they have before we go right because i mean if it sucks we can go eat somewhere else so i call down the park and i'm like you know what are we working with like food and beverage for this thing the chick's like no it's just to get to watch television i'm like what she goes yeah it's really 140 bucks and we sat there and he calls me i go there, there's absolutely no way. You know, we've all been to a Super Bowl. There should be some sort of food there.

No, there's nothing. It was, they had three big screens in the arena. Where was this at? This was the park. It's getting crazy here. Dude. Right? It is.

It's crazy. It used to be you'd go somewhere and you'd have, for $150, you'd get the full spread. Everything. You'd have red carpet. Everything. Now it's like, oh, you know, like we're going to, um, what's that new place called? Uh, Delilah's on Friday. Yeah. Nice. Nice. You know how hard it was to get in there. So I had to call one of my top clients

and I said, Hey, I've called everybody that I know. And some people make decisions in this valley. Get me in this. My wife wants to go there. We want to go. No, nobody could get us in. He called me about a week and a half later and said, hey, I got us in. I said, how? He goes, it went all the way to the top. 10 years ago, it wasn't like that. By the way.

It better be gold flavored. Everything better be perfect. But I got to tell you, see, real quick though, I just realized, we didn't finish your introduction. The reason that I called John the what's your excuse agentexcuse agent, people are like, why am I listening to what's-your-excuse agent?

The guy's full of excuses. No, no, no, no, that's not what I meant. What I meant was John is one of our top producing agents. And for those of you just listening in or don't know a lot about some of the businesses that we own, I own a very large real estate brokerage here in Las Vegas, Simply Vegas. It's the top luxury firm in town. I've got some just straight killers that work here. I mean, when I say killers, I don't mean they're bad people.

I mean they're just crushing the checkbook like nobody's business. And they do a great job and just have unbelievable businesses. John is one of those agents. But the reason I call him the what's your excuse agent is because John works a full-time job for the city of North Las Vegas. And it's one of those jobs where when he gets to the end of it, where he doesn't have to do it anymore, like the perks and everything and the benefits are going to be amazing for the rest of his life, which is why he's pot committed and hasn't been able to quit.

He's like, 2008 plays into that as well. Yeah, right? So every time I see him, I'm like, how much time you got left, brother? Like we're in prison. He's like, got a year and a half, man, and I'm out. And that's how it is. But no.

So every time I hear agents make excuses about not having resources and time and everything else, John's got, he's married. He got kids. He works a full-time job. And he still crushes it, don't we do? And he lives like an hour. It's far possible from that day job. It takes forever.

Yeah, it's far possible. What time do you wake up? Every day. This morning, I was up at 3.30. it's far possible. What time do you wake up? Every day. This morning I was up at 3.30. There you go. I'm usually up between 4 and 5 every day, seven days a week. And it dries Lorraine and that's because. 3.30, American time.

Yeah, it's because the time change. It's crazy. So I was up at 3.30. But in all fairness, I was in bed by 7.45. Naturally, I felt that dries Lorraine and that's true. Because she wants to go out and no no not on a work night when we were first together yes every single night we went out and it would it would literally i would be we'd be out till one or two in the morning on a weeknight okay

and i would be up at four o'clock in the morning and it was just like she didn't understand that but i mean at the end of the day no there's no excuses there's no excuses i. My kids, my kids know that. No. When you said a few weeks ago, when your kids have to be out when they're 18 years old, 100% believer in that. Yeah. My son left when he was 18 years old and two months into the Navy. The hardest day of my life, the whole family was crying. Okay. Real quick. How's your son fit in a ship? How tall is he? God, six foot eight, Six foot eight. Six eight. He's got to be the tallest one in his class. 100%.

By far. He just got it. The pictures. They're like, there's John. That picture with your buddies in California, that's how I am. I'm like this. Looking straight up at him. Gentle giant.

Which is crazy. You know what's so funny is everybody we hang out with, I'm the shortest one. I'm 6'2". No, Scott's the shortest one. Isn't that crazy to think like, I'm 6'2", and I'm the shortest. How tall are you? I'm 6'4". 6'4".

6'4 1⁄2". Lorraine says 6'5". All right. Well, let's get back on topic here, because I do want to talk about this. But again, so the first thing when it talks about this, and you call it depression, call it funk, call it whatever you want, is the weird thing about me, man, is it normally hits me not when necessarily things are going wrong right it hits me when things are going well and the thing i always think about when that happens is i'm gonna talk a lot about a lot of

weird movie quotes as we go along but i always think about the doors that movie when jim morrison at one point i don't know if this is exact quote please don't hit me up in the DMs and say, you screwed that quote up. I don't know. But he said something like, I have the soul of a poet, or I'm sorry, I have the mind of a poet with the soul of a clown always programmed to screw up at the most in-depth times. Right? And I think part of that goes along with another movie quote, which is an Al Pacino movie, which was called two for the money about about gamblers right and at one point al pacino goes to a uh he's looking for one of the words he's going to try to get it i'm just trying to see when you're gonna i mean you're really yeah i would really

elucidate i would yes i am elucidating on this well done it's like he's here it's great it's like chris was here he's like he's still here. But in that movie, they go to a Gambler's Anonymous meeting, and he says like, look, here's the deal. You're not addicted to gambling. You're addicted to losing because you never feel more alive when things are going wrong, and you've got to scramble to get yourself out of them. And I do find that to be something that I have a tendency to occasionally do,

which is self-sabotage because I do feel when you reach a certain point of success, you got to kind of create, I find myself creating drama where I don't need to create drama just for no reason. And so if everybody thinks that like, oh, well, the world has to be going against you for this to happen. This is not necessarily true at all. No, not at all. And like you said, a lot of times it's when things are going great. I mean, some of my biggest paycheck months, I'm like,

uh, in, you know, in a funk when I've, my wife's great. It's almost like, and then, then you'll have people tell you,

well, you don't appreciate what you have. Well, it's not that. No, no, it's not that at all. Cause I've had great months where I'm the same thing where I'm just like,

man, it's like, and I get so bored with things very easily. Well, that, well, that brings me to another part, which is, which is a big part of life, I think, and having that and granted, look, there's going to be people listening to this that have had major tragedy in their life, have had major setbacks. And I understand that I'm not belittling that. I'm not saying that one is the other, but I think, I think the, I think the, I think the physiology, once you get depressed, is kind of the same.

I think the mindset becomes the same. I think the actions to get out of it become the same. Absolutely. But I think when you look at how you get there, I think top performers this can happen to because you run out of competition. You look at like older people tend to pass away very shortly after they retire, right? When they lose that kind of purpose and they lose that fight and they lose that goals and they lose that stuff. That's when things start to go South. And I think as you, as you gain a lot of success with whatever you're doing, all of a sudden you kind of stop and you're like,

why am I doing this? Like, why, why am I doing this? like i just hit this major milestone or hit this achievement here we're dead and i don't know what i'm like why am i even doing you think that you're just always reaching for something better you're always do you think you have such high expectations that when something amazing is happening you're still not happy with yourself yes yeah i think i think there i think there's a i think there's a lot of a lot i think there's a lot of stuff with that. But I also think that, you know, for me, like when you lose the excitement of achievement, you lose the excitement of competition,

you lose the excitement of winning, if you will. If you lose that, what I tend to do, and especially in a town like Las Vegas, this can be bad, which is you look for dopamine shots wherever you can get them. I know people probably hear that and like, oh God, did he just say dope? No, that's not what I'm talking about. What I'm talking about is mental stimulus of your brain. And in Vegas, there's a lot of ways you can get that. I mean, people chase it with booze, people chase it with gambling, but women, adrenaline, but but yeah there's all kinds of stuff but you know most

you know you chase it with your phone i mean the dopamine you know you get it when you get those likes you get those thumbs up you get those shares that's a dopamine shot that you get so people don't know this about john john nelson we got two johns here hey we're john john party what was your previous career what did you do in your 20s? Adrenaline. Oh, as far as, well, I still worked at the city, but I also did stunts for Harley Davidson on motorcycles. So that was a huge thrill, huge risk.

I mean, it was every day. I mean, I rode motorcycles every single day, no matter what the weather was, no matter how cold it was, no matter how much it was raining, every single day. And it was an matter how much it was raining every single day and it was it was an addiction dopamine yeah because i would be on the freeway doing you know 80 miles an hour on the way to work mind you in a wheelie for four or five miles going between cars going up the off ramps because i was i was a decent writer yeah and it came to a point that i got hit by a car so that sort of woke me up with a one-year-old son at home oh god so it sort of took me to a point to I got hit by a car. So that sort of woke me up with a one-year-old son at home.

So it sort of took me to a point to where I was like, you know what? This is awesome, but this is going to kill you. And you're just going to leave your kid without a dad. So from that point on, I would trailer my motorcycle everywhere. And I sort of, after I got done with my contracts,

I just sort of let it fizzle away. So how'd you replace that? Adrenaline. Cause that's why I find like, I got married to a Cuban. Yeah, there you go. Okay. This is, Oh geez. Okay. so you have to understand we talk for the John I don't know how much you listen bro

but we literally talk about Colton was getting murdered every single week that's why I said Johnson is married to the spicy I am very quiet and a very tame person Lorena saw me pouting yesterday, and she goes, why don't you, because she knows I hate my current car. I've had it for six months, and I keep upping the DMV registration thing, because I don't want to register it. I got somebody to buy it. So I'm selling it tomorrow, finally.

She goes, why don't you get the new Defender? And I was like, because the new, and I like them. Right. But I said, the new Defender isn't the old Defender. Right. I said, if I'm going to get a Defender, I'm going to get an old one. Because those are dope. Get the 90, bro.

The 90. Yes. Or no, screw the 90, get the 110. I love. You got to get a right-hand drive 110. That's a car. I love. And so I've replaced it with vehicles, to be honest with you.

Have you? Because I get new, you see my vehicles. Every few months, it's like, what are you driving now? You got a new Jeep. Oh, yeah. I love the Jeep. Missed the Jeep. She goes, why don't you get the new Jeep?

392. I'm like, I think I am. So that's how I replaced it. But here's the issue, though. When you go from trying to replace shots of dopamine or endorphins in your brain, and then you kind of run out of things you got two choices you're either gonna go left into doing some really bad stuff to try and chase those highs or you're just gonna kind of say man i'm nothing's getting me there anymore and i mean i get to the point where you know and i don't know if you can sympathize with this but when i get down on my

folks man i find myself like compulsively on my phone. Like I'm just like surfing Instagram. Like I can't, I can't even stop. Like I'm just looking at the next thing and looking at the next thing. To the point where I'm just like, ah, I got to drop my phone. Like,

ah, I got to stop. Because I'm, I'm trying to rewire myself with that. But when I get in that spot, man, I've got some things that I do and hopefully some of this will help you, help you if you're struggling with this. But every, a lot of people hit me up to ask me what I wanted to do. So I break this

down to a couple of different categories. And keep in mind, man, if you are struggling with this, if you are really having problems, you know, obviously reach out to somebody, talk to somebody, you know, you're not alone with this. If you're really, really down in the dumps, man, and obviously there's there's prevention lines you should call and things of that sort. I'm not trying to say whatsoever. This is not medical advice. I'm not a licensed clinician, all the legal things that I need to say to protect. Yeah, we don't have counsel. And I'm counsel here today, so we got to say this stuff.

We got John here. John, throw out some expensive words. Give me a $4 word real quick, John. By the way, does Chris actually know the meanings? And does he look these up before he comes in? No, he is a walking encyclopedia. Before he comes in, he doesn't need to look these up. No, he's a walking encyclopedia. And we sit there and we throw out.

He throws out words, and we'll check them every once in a while. Why don't you elucidate on that? Okay. There you go. Elucidate. That's the wrong word. I like that. That's good.

There you go. We got it. But back to what I was saying. So any of these things, man, if you just can get them in some sort of combination, and I really wish that the day that I felt bad, I could just say, well, this is what I need to do. I start doing this. But I mean, honestly, it takes me a couple of days to get my feet under me and get moving

with this stuff. So the first thing that's very important is exercise, is getting something done. And it doesn't have to necessarily be a 45-minute long hustle, heavy gym session, go to the session, do something in your house, but you just got to get the blood pumping, man. You got to make a point that when you go to bed at night, if you're in one of these funks, try to get your shoes and shorts right next to the bed so it's the first thing you do when you're done is just get the blood pumping, man. I totally agree with that. I think that you got to get something, either your body going or me personally, I just got to get my mind right when I wake up. So I'll wake up and sit in the dark and kind of do like a little bit of almost meditation with my coffee.

We're getting to that. Just like Lorena. i need to get running or doing something i run every morning now just for that reason because that brings me to my next point my next point is the best way to eliminate you know a lot of clutter from your brain is is getting a routine set a routine and stay in that routine like like you said i get up it's dark i drink coffee i you know look over a vet make sure to wake her up because she's going to stab you and then you and then you kind of go forward with your day i understand that but yeah you've got to be in some sort of routine if you are the worst thing you can do is sleep till you wake up oh yeah is stay up watching tv for no reason i mean go to bed get up get on a routine say i'm going to go to bed this time i'm going to get up at this time. Because again, it's like some general said,

if you want to change the world, learn to make your bed. Because at least you got one thing done. I'm telling you, man, when I get with this stuff, I am completely crippled. So it's like going to bed at a certain time and getting up at a certain time is a win. It's an absolute win when I can get this stuff going. Your probably bedtime is pretty.

It's regimented. It's been that way my whole life my mom and dad ran the house I mean it was so structured dinner was at a I mean it was almost militant yeah but they're very good parents and right the way they raised me is like they would tell me since I was a kid junior high hey 18 you gotta go right you gotta go guess what, I was gone. Yeah. They told me that my whole life. Because you are, every time I see you, you're still getting up early no matter how late. It's regimented.

Yeah, you're still getting up. Yeah. And you're a real positive guy. No, I mean, I have, you know, not always, but I would say 90% of the time, yeah. I'm very optimistic. I'm that guy, you call me up in the middle of the day, hey, I don't have a job. My credit's crappy.

I have no money. It's like, well, I got a program for you. Let's do it. There's a way to get everything done no matter what you're doing. Yeah, I agree. No, I agree. Next thing I have, diet.

Very important. Man, you are what you eat. If you are eating a bunch of junk, and again, this goes back to why do we eat crappy food? Because when you eat that Oreo, guess what happens? You get a shot of dopamine. You feel a little better for a second. Eat that. Eat that.

Right. You know, Oreos, they say, did you see that? There was a study like 10 years ago that Oreos are just as addicting as cocaine. Oh, I'm sure. Believe it. That's why I don't do cocaine is because I saw how I did a line of Oreos, and I'm like, nope, I'll be homeless in a week if I ever try cocaine. Colt's out of the corner now.

He's like, come on, man. Come on, man. Give me Oreos. Where's your roller at? It started with the Oreos. I just want to lick the cream out the center. Just the cream. That's all I want. That's all I need come on, man. Come on, man. Give me Oreo. Where's your Oreo? I just want to lick the cream out the center. Just the cream. That's all I want. That's all I need.

Oh, man. But yeah, your diet is so important in what you put in your body matters. So I find when I get in one of these folks, I got to get back on the liquid vitamins. I've got to. I can't tell you the number one thing I love for this for diet that makes it easy is I love the juice, man. I love the green juice. I can't do that. The green juice just makes the juice, man. I love the green juice.

The green juice just makes you feel so good. I can't do that, but I am a big believer in you are what you eat type of deal. Right. You know what I mean? You see people that are in shitty moods or just not feeling good about themselves, and then they go to McDonald's. You're like, you think that's going to really- Because they're chasing that dopamine. You're getting any vitamins out of that?

You're getting anything? No. I got Lorraine that's calling me all the time. What'd lorraine that calling me all the time would you eat for lunch today yeah would you eat for lunch because she is on it with her diet this is the stab you latina diet she has salmon asparagus and a good carb every night for dinner not not necessarily salmon but something good she has totally changed my diet that's good yeah that's a good thing that's a good thing well let's move on over to the mental stuff that I do. Um, I also, I, this is, I think is so important, man, is if you're in the dumps and you're in the doldrums, you plan something to look forward to. If you don't have anything to look forward to, you're going to have a problem.

I don't care what it is. I don't care if it's a trip. I don't care if it's buying a new suit. I don't care what it is, but you need to figure out something to look forward to. It can be any, it can be literally anything. It doesn't have to be some giant materialistic thing. It can be something small, but you've got to absolutely look for something to look forward to. Again, this goes back to that deal with like people that retire, pass away because they don't have anything to look forward to. I'm a true believer of that. I mean, there's times that I'm like, all right, you know what? I'm just going to go to either my favorite restaurant tomorrow or my favorite happy hour or something like that just to get me like, all right, we got something. But again, I mean, I think we're all, this room's a little blessed that if we really need to get

somewhere, you guys, you go to your beach house all the time. I know you and Lorraine always go out of town, so we always sneak out of town. But something as simple as just going to your favorite restaurant. Whatever it is, just something to look forward to. It's all you need. Like right now, what are you looking forward to, John? We're going to Disneyland on Thanksgiving week.

You haven't been to Disneyland in a while. It's been a while. I know you have. Because you're looking forward to it. week. You haven't been to Disneyland in a while. It's been a while. I know you have. Yeah, no, we haven't been there since my daughter was probably six years old. And no, I haven't been there in a while. And my mom and dad are actually driving down to go with us. And my parents, I'm looking forward to that. Yeah, yeah. Okay. Call me. I know you're not. Call me about five hours into it. Let me know how it's going. I don't know what's happening there. But this is okay. so get back to this,

but this is something that I really have to do and I catch myself. For people that function at a high level or, you know, now, not even function at a high level, man, it's just with so much information coming at you 24 hours a day, you get this, you get mentally stretched is what kind of happens to me like for example

as we go through here right now man over the last four or five months i have tried to crash course myself into nfts crash course myself into crypto crash course myself into all of these things which has created a great amount of stress in my life like Like I'm trying to learn all this stuff and I'm trying to watch this and I'm trying to watch that. And again, you know, God bless you if you're a giant crypto person doing great. I mean, the problem I have with crypto is the markets don't close. It doesn't stop. It's 24 seven. And I get why the crypto millionaires are 22 years old sitting in a dorm room because they're kids. I get it. But all of these things and what happens is you see this happening. You're like, man, these guys are killing it. So I have FOMO. So I want to kind

of learn about that so I can do it too. And then now I'm doing this and I'm doing that. Now I've got this. And before I know it, man, my brain is just spinning. I'm spinning like a damn top. And when that causes me so much anxiety and so much stress and so much. Is it worth it? Well, that brings me to my next thing is when I stop to myself and I say, okay, what am I doing? Right. You know, what, what, why these things that I'm doing, all of this stuff that's adding compiling and compacting all of the stress on top of me. Why am I doing it?

Is it doing anything to help me when the reality of it is, is I'm an absolute expert in the real estate space as the two of you are as well. Like I don't necessarily need to go and do these other things. You don't need, I mean, at the end of the day, you don't need to be a billionaire to be happy. You don't. Let me ask you a question, John, what makes John Gafford happy? not not the family man what makes john because somebody asked me that the other day yeah and i i told him i was like i had to think about it for a minute i was like you know what i mean i don't know i mean i know i like going out to eat but what makes john gafford happy yeah what like right now and well and see that that take the kids take

the family away no i'm with you right here. I hear you. And the answer to that is when I fail to have clarity on the answer to that question is when things start to spiral. Right. That's when they do. And trying to find the answer to that question, especially as you go through the seasons of our life, if you will, the answer to that becomes increasingly tough. Now, some version of that answer is always the freedom to do whatever I want to do, whatever I want to do it.

But what I've also found is if you don't know exactly what that is, most of the time it results in doing nothing. Sitting in my house literally doing nothing. But you know what? Sometimes that's what you need. Sometimes sitting around doing nothing is and but you know what sometimes that's what you need sometimes sitting around doing nothing is exactly what you need you know i i've cleared out a lot of space i i have not watched anything on the news for years uh that's changed it i've gotten rid of a lot of people that would bring negativity around me we're gonna get to that we going to get to that too. My Twitter is what I go to. And I was

never a Twitter person, but then I got on, I'm like, oh, I can see what I want to see. Right. Like I don't have to, I can follow the Vegas stuff that I truly want to follow the market stuff I want to follow. And that's it. And I've cleared myself like this astral world thing. I had not a clue what the hell that was. These getting killed that's a whole different story that's a whole different thing we're gonna take a quick break and we're gonna come back and we're gonna continue talking about ways to escape the funk the dark passenger if you will with the return of dexter we'll be back in just a minute hey it's john gafford if you want to catch up more and see what we're doing, you can always go to thejohngafford.com

where we'll share any links that we've, things we talked about on the show, as well as links to the YouTube where you can watch us live. And if you want to catch up with me on Instagram, you can always follow me at thejohngafford. I'm here. Give me a shout. Back from the break, back from the break.

Today, we're talking about things that or ways that you can implement into your life to get yourself out of the funk whatever it may be if you're uh in a period of depression again not a clinical psychologist just trying to offer up some stuff that i do right when i need help with this stuff did i mention sunlight do we talk about i don't think that's it i think i skipped over but dude huge get out side i think that i think that vitamin d i think there's some study somewhere it has a major effect on your mood and everything else get outside get some sun they say vitamin d is good for that good for fighting stuff i'm out in the sun quite a bit and i can tell a difference right you know, and that's why, that's why a lot of times,

that's why I left Utah. I mean, those winters would make me depressed as hell. That's, that would make me, if I don't see sunlight, I'm like, all right, it starts messing with me. The most miserable I've ever been in my life is when I had to live in Michigan for six months. And I was like, dude, it i'm out you see it and you go into those communities you see people change compared to summer and winter it's it's crazy oh it's terrible but back to this we were talking about ask yourself why you're doing what you're doing which is which is really important sometimes you got to stop and i mean a lot of things that cause me a lot of stress and a lot of pressure it's like why am i even doing this yeah like what's the point like do i even need to be doing this um just to let you know for the rest

of the year because the volatility and some of the investments that i've had between you know the markets and crypto um i'm slowly selling off my entire stock portfolio i'm selling off everything right now selling all of it putting everything into houses man everything's going into houses 100 back into real estate. Real estate is the best. That's what you're good at. That's what I'm doing. It's what I know, and it's inflation-proof.

It's always inflation-proof. It's always inflation-proof. That's what's great about our jobs is good for inflation. We just make more money. So we do that. So, yeah, that's just the fact that I'm getting all that money into something that I know, understand, and have a – why am I stressing myself out over this other stuff there's no reason for it there's no reason for it doesn't make any sense um next thing don't attach happiness

to things that you cannot control now and i'm talking about people think like oh the actions of others if somebody does something mean to you can you can't control that. Yes, that's all well and great. I'm talking about at a granular level, though. What I mean is, like, for example, one of the joys of my life, and Colton knows this, is I love Florida State football as much as some people could love a human baby. I don't know why you put yourself through that. Yeah, exactly.

And, dude, and I got to tell tell you going through this funk the last couple weeks and then watching the team just get freaking smoked it's like when they lose you would think i'm on the damn team as hard as i said that bad for you well no no just because it coincides with what's going on with me mentally right so when i'm in a bad spot and then something like that you know i'm like i'm projecting into this thing that i have no control over to generate joy and happiness for me right and that is a losing profit well i guess you're an alabama fan or something it's probably okay but yeah but for me that is a losing proposition so you know don't look for happiness in things of which you have zero control.

I totally, totally agree with that. And don't look for things of happiness that, you know, can fluctuate big time, right? Like some people will put things into certain things and then all of a sudden, yeah, maybe you're not, you stop drinking. Like I was a big cigar person, you know, and I put so much of my happiness. Not, no, not, no. Again, I was just feeling like crap drinking and smoking the cigars I did. It made you feel like crappy. Yeah, and then the next stage, and I'm like, all right, well, now what do I? I'm putting something into something really not that positive for me.

Why am I putting all my happiness and joy into that? Well, that goes back to the chasing dopamine shots. When you do that, it only exasperates the problem because a lot of people, when they get depressed, what do they do? Start drinking. Right? And then you wake up in the morning and now it's worse than it was the day before. So definitely looking for happiness in the bottom of a bottle or anything else you can

find. You may find it temporarily. Never found that happiness in the bottom. It's going to be fleeting. Oh, no. Don't get me wrong. But I'm not saying drinker. I found a couple laughs in there. I don't know if I found lasting happiness.

I have a great time that day. Yeah, that day. Speaking of which, the Christmas party, I have a great time. Yeah, coming up. It is coming up. That is a fact. It is coming up. This is a huge one for me, huge which is this start asking people for exactly

what you want um i think a lot of a lot of when i start spiraling i start to assume especially my wife knows exactly what i need and she should know what i need she should know what i want she should know what she should get me and then what I want. She should know what she should get me. And then when, even though I've never, I don't verbalize it to her. And then when she doesn't, now I'm disappointed that she has not done what she needs to me. And I think a lot of times when people are in these moods, you expect others to just know what you need. And if you don't verbalize it to them exactly what you do need, I think people that are close to you,

your spouse, you know, whoever it is, kids, coworkers, blah, blah, blah. If you verbalize exactly what you need from them, people are pretty accommodating. Yeah. You know, for the most part. I do this.

Sorry, I don't mean to interrupt you, but I do the same thing. I don't verbalize things very well. Yeah. And my partner, Brady, you guys obviously know Brady, but I call him sometimes, be like, hey, I want to go to that restaurant this weekend. You know that one. And he'd be like, what? And I'd be like, well, yeah, the restaurant, you know the one I like.

And he'd be like, no, as I did that today. And he's like, what are you talking about? And I just expect certain people. And I do that with my wife all the time. Well, the problem I do with my wife is I'm like, okay, hey, you know what would make me feel a little better? It's bedtime. And she should just know that this is what I need. And then she comes in, gives me the kiss on the head, rolls over to go to sleep. And I lay there and I'm mad about it for 10 minutes. No. And I think that, you know, I, I don't think people realize that if you've suffered from this, you've usually been pretty good at masking it. Right. I got, you know, and that's what John's, I never knew.

Right. I've been here, I think going on eight years now. Yeah. Never. You would never know if you ran. Never know. And I don't think your spouse or your partner would either i mean i just barely opened up to my spouse about this like maybe i mean it

was right you're a special person cole i know i know you are but i but i just had to open up he sits in for one time and he's figuring it out but you're one of my favorite people here i love about that no you are you are. Yeah. But I did. Lorena definitely knows when I'm in a bad mood. Yeah. And she can out-bad mood me any day of the week. Oh, God.

Yeah, that's how my wife is, too. I've learned somewhat. Yeah. I'm still sort of in the industry. But I have to tell my wife, like, hey, you know, I'm in a funk, which means leave me alone in the mornings, you know, which means maybe take the kid if he wakes up too early stuff like that and i think that helps out and i think it helps out because

then i don't lash out at stupid right right like i used to take my anger and lash out at my kids or my wife over the stupidest stuff and it's and they're like what the hell is going on it's just because i'm in those funks. Right. Yep. No, no, for sure. We need a big word, by the way. You got to make time for a big word. I'm glad you're really elucidating everything. I really, I can't believe.

He's like, am I saying this right? I can't even believe Chris knows all these. I watch him and I can tell he's a super sharp guy. Oh, yeah. Elucidating. Half the time we just check him because he rambles big words and they're right. And they're right. Every time it's like, it's not even that he's somewhat right.

They are word for word. Oh, yeah. And using them with a sense. Oh yeah. And using them with a sense. Right. So the next thing I would say that the next thing I would say that's a very important in, and I think you, I think you see this with any self-help guru, you know, whatever it is starts with this which is leave with gratitude

You got to wake up every morning and as bad as things are as bad as they seem whatever it is Everybody got three things that you're grateful for right and You know like again, I've said this before in this show I'll say it again My buddy Bradley has a thing he doesn't is it'll spill where he says like look look, if I told you I'd give you a million dollars, would you take it? People are like, sure. And he's like, what if I told you you'd take a million bucks, but you don't get to wake up tomorrow? Would you still take it?

People are like, no. And he's like, well, the fact that you get to wake up tomorrow is worth more than a million bucks. So the fact that you even open your eyes in the morning first thing. Right. That's a million dollar win. 100%. A million dollar win right there and you got to start by thinking and really spend that like colt said he spends 10 minutes in the morning just kind of laying there in the dark um you got to spend a couple of minutes really focused on what you're grateful for and if you start that way because the mind i think there's a domino effect that happens with your brain

the ball the ball gets rolling one way or the other. If it gets going negative, all of a sudden, like, I love when people say, oh, bad things happen in threes. Well, because the first bad thing happens, and if you believe that, now you're looking for two and three around the corner. And what you look for, you tend to find. Yeah, 100%. Right, 100% of the time. And I think that's the same thing that'd be said with leading with gratitude. So you've got to start leading with gratitude, seeing things in a way that I'm grateful for these things and feel the gratefulness going through.

And at the same time, you've got to start pushing those negative thoughts out of your mind. As far as pushing negative thoughts out of your mind, there's a book that I live and die by. It's a Ryan Holiday book. It is a, it's, it's a classic look at it. It's a modern look at classic stoicism. It's called the obstacle is the way if you're struggling with this, I cannot recommend anything more to you than that book. Because essentially it just shows that nothing really has meaning until you

give it meaning. Now, the worst part about being depressed or anything else is none of this makes any sense. Like there's no reason, like there's no reason you feel bad about anything. None. I just watched a documentary, and you probably don't know who he is, but you would, on J Balvin, right? And this guy, he deals with this nonstop. And this guy is, you don't know who J Balvin is, he's as big as Drake in the world. this guy is huge and

has the world by it that you know and you watch somebody like that where millions of people are hitting him up all day long telling him how great he is and he still struggles with it like there's times you cannot doesn't matter how great life's going no no no for sure and then there's your environment so that's big this this is big this is big and here's a environment. So this is big. This is big. And here's a big one, man. This is something that I do that is crazy. We all have those little things at our house, those little things in our life that drive us batshit crazy that you don't do anything about. All right?

You need to take as many of those triggers as you can and eliminate them. Case in point, you're sitting right in that chair right now. Right. All right? You're talking to a microphone. Right. That microphone is on a stand. Mm-hmm.

All right? That microphone was screwed to that chair for the first two months we did this. Okay. And it was like a free-form flop explosion. It was all over the damn place. All the time. It drove me crazy. Chris would talk into it

it would start to drift over here and i was his voice it would come back right under this it was all it was all over the place it drove me nuts right till finally one day i said enough is enough after two months of dealing with this and i fixed it by if you'll notice what it's on that is a that is a spray painted black cinder. Total cost, $1.29 to fix a problem that irritated me for two months. At my house the other day, because again, coming out of the funk, I'm like, what triggers me? What starts me off? The first thing is the great sock hunt. Since my son's feet have become close and similar size to my feet.

You got cooler socks. Well, no. I got cooler socks. Well, no. I got socks all over the damn place. Who knows where my socks are? So it's this great sock Easter egg hunt. But the problem is I have all these old socks still in my drawer. So when you look at my sock drawer, it looks as though they are full, even though I haven't worn these socks forever.

So what did I do? I wore 36 pairs of the same socks and threw out all my old socks. Right. I did the same thing this last week yeah the sock hunt is over the sock I was like why I've got brand new socks they have holes in them find that my kids doing the same thing I did the same thing I went through a whole drawer of socks because it's pissing me off every morning uh-huh no you have to and then another trigger when I would put on a when I put a long sleeve shirt and I didn't get my half inch break over my,

as, as, as the lovely Colt will demonstrate for the people watching on YouTube, when you don't get the half inch break in the jacket would drive me insane. And for some reason I've wound up with all these white shirts that did that. They all wrapped up this weekend off. They went, I found a shirt that has the right break on the, on the, on the sleeve. And I ordered all new shirts for that. And, uh, and yeah, so that's, that's, that's two pro here's the sleeve, and I ordered all new shirts for that. And yeah, so that's two products. Here's the thing. Those two things may sound so stupid to somebody listening to this,

but to me, it's part of my routine, and it sets me going in the wrong direction. It sends that momentum in the wrong way, so I have to eliminate any trigger that does this. Now, where's the number one place where we all have triggers that do this? Work? Nope. Where? Social media. Now, where's the number one place where we all have triggers to do this? Work? Nope.

Where? Social media. Oh, one. Yeah. You follow people on social media. I piss you off. You see people. Yeah.

You see people. You want to punch every single time you see them. Every single time you look at them, you watch their posts. It irritates you. It grinds you. It may be me. You may be looking at this right now. It irritates you. It grinds you. It may be me. You may be looking at this right now. I hate that guy.

If I'm that guy. Seriously, if I'm that guy for you, please, please just unfriend me, delete me, unfollow, whatever. Some people can't do that. They have to see what you're doing because they're interested. But I'm telling you, it's not good for you. If the stuff that I'm doing makes you mad, it's not good for you. And I don't want to be part of anything. That's not good for you. I basically eliminated getting on social media for the most part. I mean, almost a hundred percent. I don't really post anything. I've been out of state multiple times

that I don't, I just don't, I haven't been doing it lately at all. We'll do this. Here's a, here's a test. Here's a, here's a good test for you i did that i actually did this this morning just to see right i said okay i'm going to scroll 100 posts down and i'm going to say how many of them make me feel either angry jealous or just how idiotic is this you get jealous of course really of course i don't see that of course because i mean of course and not not the fact that you're not human but it's just you're i think anybody that says they don't get jealous it's just i don't i don't think you get jealous why do i invest why don't i invest last three months learning about crypto and nfts what's not jealousy you're motivated no it's not

motivated it's like dude i see these kids killing it i I want to kill it too. No, I get that. FOMO, buddy. FOMO. I don't know. I just don't see it. That's how it works. No, no, no. I'm very rarely, here's the thing. I very rarely get jealous of what others have with the exception of one thing, and that's knowledge. If I think somebody knows more than I do, it drives me nuts. Right.

And it does, and it grinds me. And there's no reason for that because these are people, like for example, I'll give you a great example. My dude, Sean Kelly, who's made eight figures in crypto made eight figures in nft right you know we were texting the other night and he he sent me the comment and he said something about let me try to find it but it was something about man yeah i'm still trying to figure this real estate game out and i'm like i could literally walk into a town blindfolded yep and buy the best deal yeah and get it flipped and here's this cat who's like no i'm just trying to figure it out bro just And I'm like, I could literally walk into a town blindfolded and buy the best deal. Yeah.

And get it flipped. And here's this cat who's like, no, I'm just trying to figure it out, bro. And I think that's what people don't realize is you're good at something in life, right? You know, when people are like, oh, you got the gift to gab or you're this or that. That's a true gift, by the way. Yeah, it really is. But find something you're good at, right? If you're not somebody that can talk to people, maybe you're a good coder, right? You can go build stuff.

You maybe go get in the crypto game. And I think that when you try to put yourself around, A, the environment you're probably not good in, I think you're going to create more stress. In my opinion, and back to social media, it is, you've got to stop following people that really piss you off. I don't, I don't get on social media as much as, you know, most people do, but I do get on flip through and there's people I'm like, God, I'd pay anything to go be able to punch them in their face. Right. And it's like, why am I even looking at given the time of the day? Yeah. It's the student control your mind. exactly next thing get dressed for success um you know superman has an outfit for a reason because when he puts that on he becomes superman same thing with batman he becomes batman that's what how it

works so if you're at a place where you're like dude i can't get anything done i don't feel like doing anything sitting there in sweatpants all day that ain't gonna do it ain't gonna help you no you gotta get that on which is funny when you say like oh i would never guess that you ever had sitting there in sweatpants all day, that ain't going to do it. Ain't going to help you. No. You got to get that on, which is funny when you say like, oh, I would never guess that you ever had these fits of this. Never. On the days when you see me looking the best,

that's probably the days that I'm mentally the worst. Exactly right. Because getting dressed makes you feel good. It is. It's tricking me into, into performing at a level that's better than what I'm doing. Right. That's what it's doing.

And it's, it's funny because people sit there and will leave their house looking like shit, and you're like... And you expect to get anything done like that. Done, yeah. No matter what you do, whether you're working at a fast food restaurant or whether you... If you dress for success, and I've told my kids that, you leave the house, when you leave the house, and I see my son now, he wears...

He's a shoe guy. So he's always... Any kind of shoes, he has old Jordans from like 15 years ago, 20 years ago. They look like brand new. So he's always cleaning them, always taking care of his clothes. So you dress for success. That's it. 100%. If I go to the gym, I'm ironing my shirt.

I am that person. But not only dress for success, I think we're all three big, big believers of that. But just simplistic stuff is. And your car. That's exactly what I was just going to say. And your car. If I get in my car and there's stuff laying around, it pisses me off while I'm driving to work.

And you'll see me every morning. And it does. And I'm out there throwing shit out into the dumpster every morning. I do randoms, too, with the dumpster i do randoms too with with the with the team we went and showed some houses with the team and i said hey i'm gonna ride with you there and you back and i saw one agent oh well dude i said no no i'm riding with you back yeah get in your car i literally it smells like a 90s rap video and i said it's wait it smells like a 90s rap video like a doctor no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no

and i said it's not a pleasant i don't think they have a candle for that i said i think i got a contact sitting in your car yeah i was like this doesn't work okay i said if you want to know why you're not able to capture the people that you that you're trying to capture this is why yep you're probably smoked on the way here yep she goes yeah i said no i said no if you want to be on the team that ain't gonna work that yeah clean yourself you can't like cars cars your house if i wake up and my house is like a mess, if I go downstairs, it throws my whole morning off. And people might not realize it affects you. So I just had somebody come into my office yesterday.

Perfect example. I spent three hours with this person. I'm like, where have you been? I haven't heard from you for a month, right? And they're like, oh, this. And what it came down to is their house is, you know, dirty. And they just just it throws their whole day off and they have nothing going on that little trigger has ruined a month of this person's

life yeah no dude because i'm telling you the ball will get ruined in the wrong way let's see uh expected dress success you ever have that day when you go in your closet and you start trying stuff on to go somewhere and everything looks like crap so you wind up throwing like all of it away yeah You have that. And then you realize you got fat. Yeah. You're not, you're not.

That's what happened to me and I lost 20 pounds. But if you're one of those people that is like, just your clothes wind up in a giant pile. Yeah. You're not alone. I've done that. But dressing for success, you don't know when your next break's going to be in life. You absolutely will never know.

You might run in. I've ran into people at grocery stores, at random bars, at the gym. My biggest, my life-changing thing is I ran into a guy at a funeral. Wow. That's what changed me. That's why I'm sitting where I'm sitting now. Really? Because of a funeral, right? And I was young young but i dressed nice for the funeral and stuff and everybody else

is like yeah just and did it look like santa claus are we going back to that story no that was when i was super young and you guys give me i gotta hear about this story yeah santa saved colt from drowning almost drowned and that was not a fun experience and santa saved him he wasn't santa he's too skinny for Santa, but he was an angel. No. He was an angel. Okay. Again, he was an angel.

He was. No, I asked him how tall he was. He said he was too skinny. He goes, he was probably 6'1", about 165. I'm like, okay, you were too young to swim. 185. I'm like, you were too young to swim, but you can profile a guy. Almost died, and he saved me.

You don't forget about that. You don't forget about an angel saving you. There you go. You wouldn't have ever met that guy or whoever if you'd have been dressed in a sweatsuit. If I would have not been in a nice swimsuit that I was wearing. I've met Lorena out sometime for lunch and she gets done at the gym and I'll be wearing a suit. She'd be like, what are you doing? I'd be like, I don't look good today.

I just feel like looking good. I you all dressed up because i'm gonna i'm in a glass case of emotions that's why i look great today yeah there it is next thing talk about patterns um to-do list i find that i'm always a to-do list guy. It's something that's important to me, but I find when I'm in these fits of the doldrums, you got to get your to-do list done, man. Um, when I say have it done, I just mean you have to add things continually to the to-do list because

you're not going to be highly productive during these bouts of this stuff. You're just not, but you've got to accumulate the things that you should be doing in a, in a concise way. Is it like accumulating the things you're supposed to do is in a weird sort of way, kind of like, okay to getting them done. So I just try to start accumulating my list of everything I need to do that I can come back to. Funny thing about your to-do list, especially if you're as busy as I am is when you come back to it, you realize 30% of it, you didn't really have to do anyway,

which is what's kind of funny. And you, if you are in these funks, you just can't shut down guys. Like, you know, I had somebody that, you know, somebody called me super pissed off and I'm like, what's going on? They're like this person, blah, blah, blah. And they're like, Oh, well they had COVID. They were sick. And this person like good for them. I don't give a shit. They had a job to do. So you've got to realize your customers. Doesn't care. They don't care.

They don't care if you're in this funk or if you're sick or whatever. So prioritize. Get stuff done still while you're doing it. And that brings me to my next thing, which is delegate what you can. Especially if it's going to affect a customer. Delegate. Get help. Get somebody to assist you with what you're doing.

And don't, for the love of God, if you're in a place where you can't take on anymore, like you just know you're not going to be productive right now, you don't have to say yes. You can say no. You can pass off a client to somebody. If you know you're not going to service them the way they should be serviced and it's going to do long-term damage to your business,

hand them off to someone else right it's in the best interest of everybody to do that that's a whole no no benver thing right and i was like what's that going around social media and say no to stuff right like saying no is just as important as saying yes to stuff that's very hard for me to say no yeah but you know what like what i said i get it like two years ago what i was finding is people were throwing me such little deals that would take me months to get done. And I was, I was saying yes to them. And then they're getting mad. Cause it's like, well, and I'm like, God, they're looking for something pretty much impossible to find. And if I do find it, I'm making like a thousand bucks off of it. Right. And so for me, what that was doing is

making me look bad you know and i've tried to delegate stuff out which is just a little bit harder to do on the commercial side than the residential but yeah saying no is just as important as saying yes well i had a guy call me up about uh a month ago and he's bought in two homes bought them that That was nice. You bought. You were doing so well. You were doing so well. You were doing so well on the big words. Do you need to go to the big words deck for this? Hold on.

Big words deck. John, you really think you're vainglorious, okay? What is that? Vainglorious. I think you're cool. Vainglorious? Vainglorious. I love that one.

Vainglorious. Hey, Chris, I'm the opposite of Chris. I have boughten, okay? It's a Vegas word, okay? It's a Vegas. So he bought two homes. Can we just go with done bought? He done bought a bunch of houses.

Two homes. From other people, okay? And he had asked me questions before. And so he hit me up for some information on something. And basically, I was just like, why am I going to help you? Yeah. Like what I said, I didn't even respond.

Yeah. Why would I help you when you've went to other people? It doesn't make any sense. It's not going to do anything for me. It's probably because the other person's hot. 100%. Yeah. Yeah.

I had a buddy, the same thing. He goes, I get this guy calls me all the time. Then I found out the lady showing them is fricking the model. He's like, why am I helping this guy? Right. Yeah.

I'm a big believer. Say no. Well, they're saying no, but that brings me to my final thing that I do to help get me out of these little funks that I get in, which is really what we're doing right now, man. It was the purpose of that post yesterday. It was a purpose of what we're doing right now, which is help others. If you need help, help somebody else. of that post yesterday. It was a purpose of what we're doing right now, which is help others. If you, if you need help, help somebody else. I mean, if you put out in the universe, uh, what you need, it tends to come back in spades. So helping somebody else will definitely come back to help

you. It feeds. I think it's the number one thing that feeds the soul. I think, uh, there's nothing more soul nurturing than helping someone else. And it's not like looking at someone else's misery and being like, oh man, I don't have so bad. It's just genuinely being invested. Is that why you hang out with me so much? Yes, it is. Well, my hairline feels better because of it still. But no, but that's the answer is if you really want help yourself, go help somebody else. I think if you help other people, you get around other people helping, you just realize the world is good, things are good.

The worst thing to tell somebody is just smile. Life's great, right? That's the worst thing to tell somebody that's going through these funks. Let them talk it out, understand them, give them their space, leave them alone sometimes. I'm going to be honest, you guys. When I am down at all, like yesterday, I just got over COVID, and I've sort of been like in a funk, like just real tired

and just like really like unmotivated. Like, what are you going to do? I don't really care. I'm just like whatever. I told Lorraine, she goes, what are you doing? I said, I'm going to the office because when I get around the office, there's so much positive energy here. I talk. You see me. I go to the office, there's so much positive energy here. I talk,

I go, you see me. I go to every office in here. Everybody in here is cool. I love everybody. I leave out of here and I felt so good yesterday. That's all I needed. Just build me up.

Yep. Yep. Yeah. Just, just being around positive. Yes. Being around positive. If you went into an office,

I was all a bunch of piece of shits and everything. You'd do the opposite. And that's, I've worked in a place like that before. Yes yes and that's why i tell people all the time it is you sometimes you gotta drop friends that have been around your whole life right or you have to drop family members like you've got to have positive positive people and it's funny because you know i know people in this office suffer from depression really bad and stuff and you'll never show they'll never show up right like everybody's positive in this this suffer from depression, really bad and stuff, and they'll never show up, right?

Like everybody's positive in this area. Yeah. I mean, at the end of the day, we all get in funks, but it's about being resilient. It's about understanding that sometimes there's no reason or catalyst for this. There's no rational thought process that leads to those feelings, but that's just where you are. And it's about understanding that you can do something about it, man. You can bootstrap yourself. Now, obviously there's people that are clinical that are clinically with some, some, some right. And balances that need some

additional help and need some additional, you know, medication or whatever it is. Um, highly recommend if this is somebody, if I'm talking to you and you have really, really battle with this, I highly recommend you get some help. I'm going to do that. You're not alone. Yeah, don't be embarrassed, man. You're never alone. When I saw that J Balvin documentary, like this guy's getting major help on stuff and struggles big time.

When you're a superstar like that. Look at Chris Cornell, man. Yeah. I mean, there's so many great people that have passed away. And, you know, it's sad. So don't be embarrassed. Everybody has some demons. That's it, man. don't be embarrassed everybody everybody has some some demons that's it man don't be embarrassed well guys i hope you like the show today i hope it was

uh i hope it was somewhat therapeutic for you because i know it was for me man i love helping others and i this this definitely fed my soul today if but you know even though it was a serious topic i'm still getting the shame so the same way we always do which is if you like what we do tell a friend but if you hated it please tell two because it doesn't matter if you're talking good or bad what colt as long as they're talking about as long as they're talking about you see you next time hey it's john gafford if you want to catch up more and see what we're doing you can always go to the john gafford.com where we'll share any links that we've things we talked about on the show, as well as links to the YouTube where you can watch us live.

And if you want to catch up with me on Instagram, you can always follow me at thejohngafford. I'm here. Give me a shout.