Escaping the Drift with John Gafford - How Imposter Syndrome Keeps You From Achieving Success Ep 76

Episode Date: February 1, 2023

How Imposter Syndrome Keeps You From Achieving Success Ep 76Do you sometimes feel like you're not good enough? Like you're pretending to be something you're not? You're not alone. Many people feel this way and it's called imposter syndrome. In this podcast I offer some tips for overcoming imposter syndrome and becoming successful in spite of your fears!💬 Did you enjoy this podcast episode? Tell us all about it in the comment section below!On his podcast, he discusses all sorts of topics, including what made him successful and some of his core tenants for living life and managing successful businesses.➡️ He is often joined by Chris Connel and Colt Amidan who are dear friends and successful business people in their own right.The Power Move podcast stands to be one of the top sources of knowledge and insights, specifically into real estate and entrepreneurship out there! Not to mention tons of coverage of topical events and insights into our non-commercial lives as well…➡️ Learn and burn Entrepreneurship from serial entrepreneur John Gafford and his band of mayhem makers. From stripper poles to the oval office, business lessons are everywhere. If that sounds interesting to you, make sure to subscribe to my channel and don't forget to hit the bell icon to never miss a Podcast! 🔔💯 About John Gafford:After appearing on NBC's "The Apprentice", John relocated to the Las Vegas Valley and founded several successful companies in the real estate space. ➡️ The Gafford Group at Simply Vegas, top 1% of all REALTORS nationwide in terms of production.Simply Vegas, a 500 agent brokerage with billions in annual salesClear Title, a 7 figure full service title and escrow company.➡️ Streamline Home Loans - An independent mortgage bank with more than 100 loan officers.The Simply Group, A national expansion vehicle partnering with large brokers across the country to vertically integrate their real estate brokerages.✅ Follow The Power Move with John Gafford on social media:Instagram ▶️ https://www.instagram.com/thejohnmgaffordFacebook ▶️ https://www.facebook.com/gafford2/🎧 Stream The Power Move Podcast with John Gafford Episode here:Listen On Spotify : https://open.spotify.com/show/7cWN80gtZ4m4wl3DqQoJmK?si=70ad5ca4f51e4acc Listen On Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-power-move-with-john-gafford/id1582927283☑️ Featuring:Chris Connel - Esquire - https://www.connelllaw.com Colt Amidan - Director of Commercial Real Estate at Simply Vegas - https://www.amidangroup.com#ThePowerMoveWithJohnGafford

from the art of the deal to keeping it real live from the simply vegas studios it's the power move with john gafford back again back again back again for another episode of the power move my name is john gafford i am your host welcome to the podcast we're happy you're here to the left of me as always writing proverbial desk shotgun is the bulgarian mongoose the polo assassin what's up everybody cold amadan two weeks in a row we're back on it it's like a british shotgun yeah the what it's british shotgun it is british shotgun across the way and across the way keeping you caught up with all your Scrabble words, the counselor Chris Connell.

Counselor, how are you? Living the dream. Living the dream indeed. And today, you know what? We're going to talk about something that seems to come up a lot, a lot. It came up for one of my coaching students this week. It came up in a mastermind. I was out a couple of weeks.

It came up. It comes up a lot, man. And it is imposter syndrome. And if you don't know what that is, what imposter syndrome is, is when you think you're not worthy, you think you're faking it, you think you don't belong, you think you're waiting. At any moment, you're going to be exposed for the fraud that you believe deep down you are. You're in the right part of the Dunning-Kruger curve.

Yes, that's it. See, Dunning-Kruger curve. Yes, that's it. That's it. See, Dunning-Kruger. See, I think that's a drink if you're at home listening and Chris mentioned the Dunning-Kruger. I was doing jujitsu this morning. Yeah, there it is. Drink again.

Jujitsu makes everything. Is that hot in here? But there's lots. It's getting hotter by the second. It's already hot. But lots of stuff to talk about. I mean, obviously, first of all, let's just talk directly about imposters.

This cat, the Republican senator from New York, that announced today that he will not be serving any committees while the investigation goes on. And also, I guess it turned out that now he's up for campaign finance violations for funneling money from A to B. That's shocking, though. Good for him for sticking to it, right? My God, that guy is...

You think that's the move to it, right? My God, that guy is. You think that's the move to stick it out? If you like steal money, you should just steal more money. I mean, what else is he going to do? I mean, this guy is sticking with it. I mean, I wouldn't. He's pretty much, as he sits by himself in the chamber, he's pretty much like, you're going to have to drag me out of here by my donuts.

I love how one of his friends was like, yeah, he does drag. They had a picture that looked just like him. He's no not me not me well that was strong and i guess yesterday i saw i didn't read it i just saw the headline it was like so his ex-boyfriend is now commenting and i'm thinking could there be like a better like commentary coming from like that guy's ex-boyfriend like let me tell you about this guy whatever i'm sure it was just you know that to me is such a dumb so one of those things when people talk about what your ex thinks about you what an irrelevant point of view right oh god dude when i was on it's so funny when i was on the apprentice a million years ago like you know all the news is coming and you see this stuff and you're reading it because whatever you have nothing else it's just you're a maniac you never read this is before social media so like

you're just like all these people are talking about you so you're reading it and like they interviewed some girl dated for like a hot second in atlanta that was giving her opinion on me i'm like who who is this what why like this is i don't think any of my exes would speak bad on me oh i one time had i don't i really don't think that's almost like a cult x challenge if you know any occult exes um out there have them call in to the old power i don't think they would talk that bad that'd be great i one time had a girl i was dating start hanging out with my ex and they were like hey we should get another one of his exes together and have like a brunch about it that'd be fun and like it would be fun girl thing they called her

up it was with another friend of mine they called her up she's like are you guys out of your minds is it this is a fun thing to do it's just like what the hell's wrong with you what like no no thank you how in the world is that a fun yeah how's that a fun thing but it took it took a girl that they thought would have something bad to say about me to be like, are you out of your mind? No, I try to be nice with everybody. I don't have any exes that I'm like. See, this kind of thing would never happen.

It would never happen with guys. Never. I'm not going to hang out with my ex-girlfriend's current boyfriend and talk shit about her. No, he wouldn't hang out with you. He wouldn't hang out with me because he's not a psycho, a psycho no no because the problem is he would have to look at you and know you did dirty things to his current girlfriend nobody wants to see that all that john what's the look the look the look you love to for those of you don't know that premise it's it's here's

the premise when you run into a guy it has this hasn't happened to me in a gazillion years because i i the only person i've ever dated in las vegas is my wife so i haven't i don't this hasn't happened to me in a gazillion years because the only person I've ever dated in Las Vegas is my wife. So I haven't, I don't, this doesn't happen for me. But back in the day when I was swinging single, living in places where you dated a lot of people and you run into somebody that's with somebody you used to date, you get to give them the look. You get to give him the look. You get to give him the look where you look at him and you're like, and it's always the

same thing. It's something about her being a keeper. It's a great girl. You got to hang on to her. She's a keeper's a keeper and he instantly knows like i did some weird stuff to this person like what yeah yeah but you hate to get the horrifying you don't want to get the look so no that would never happen with men yeah i've never zero chance because of that reason i would never run to any of my exes in town never i don't have anything bad i've i've had situations where my wife and i have had dinner next to an ex of mine and just very polite and i never run into him i don't think i

did anything in those ways where it'd be like oh you're just a lot of stuff just doesn't work out you're not supposed to marry every person you date you're supposed to date people and find out what you like and what you don't like and let's say you circled back and it worked out for you but people have this thing like i got to stay with this person forever i'm going to die alone i truly feel like or i have to hate them or i have to hate them if it didn't work out it's like no you you clearly liked something about them most people have some redeemable stuff about them you don't have to see fight because we used to i know somebody that's here but here's one thing i can say is back when i was back when i was single you know like i would have these girls that were

friends with all their ex-boyfriends and they would you know oh they're always talking on the phone the set and i always told all of them it's like look no i hang out with you on this level like this is the level we're at and if we stop hanging out at this level you're probably never going to talk to me again yeah just because i'm there's a reason that this didn't work out. So I'm going to throw you in the rear view mirror and that's going to be the end of it. Yeah. That's a mature way to do it.

Yeah. It's not that I have any ill will or malice towards these people. Our time is over. Yeah, exactly. Thanks for coming out. It's a disrespectful thing too, right? That's it. I think that's a disrespectful thing.

To have your exes as your friend while you got somebody. I think's weird those people that are always like oh you know you go to they go into a room and they've dated half the people in the room like oh it's my ex mike we're all we're all still friends like that's kind of weird hold on but what's x yeah i mean that's true let's i mean are we going with carnal knowledge is that the line x is like no you had a relationship you'd ask them to the the sock hop or whatever the sadie hawk you were asked by them as you go along you know soda shoppy soda shoppy here's another interesting thing that i saw today that i thought was kind of interesting and i posted something it's so funny man it's like i never know what's gonna work on the old gram like i never know what's gonna hit like i'll throw some stuff up on the gram and i posted something it's so funny man it's like i never know what's gonna work on the old gram like i never know what's gonna hit like i'll throw some stuff up on the gram and i

and i'll think you know maldy's man i got a bank no not grimaldi's you know what you know real quick into camera three chilies you're you're close because fuck you grimaldi's real quick let me help you out i love grimaldi's well let me let me help you out we'll talk about grimaldi's first of all and we'll segue to what I was going to talk about. Garlic pizza. No, no, no, no, because this is what we're talking about. Look, here's the deal. When I go to any hospitality establishment,

like there's an unspoken deal. I'm going to come here. You're going to provide me with a level of service and quality food, and then I'm going to give you money. As long as that's a reasonable expectation. And I think it's completely reasonable service, so we go to grimaldi's right we order our food kids get the cheese pizza me and gage get one with like pepperonis and mushrooms on it whatever kids pizza comes out 20 and keep in mind kids pizza took 30 something minutes to

come out 25 minutes after kids pizza we still don't have adult pizza kids are done eating i'm like what is possibly going on here you got forgotten about i got either the server screwed up sure or the kitchen screwed up right but i'm pissed i'm like the girls come back over and i'm like it's been you know this is 55 minute ticket time like you're this is thin cold pizza you're not firing ce sicilian deep dish pizza back there you know i'm not dave portnoy but i know how pizza's made yeah right so anyway i'm like i'm like i don't even know if i want it anymore right i don't even know if i want this pizza anymore i think i might be done with it and uh and and so i tell the girl i'm like this is just

waiting on us i'm like this is this is ridiculous how bad your kitchen's screwed up i'm i'm actually super pissed about this. And I see her go back, and she talks to the MOD, obviously the manager on duty. That's restaurant slang, Cole. Talks to the MOD. It's the FOH. Front of house.

The FOH. MOD. Yeah, MOD. Manager on duty. She talks to him. And this cat, I can just see him. He goes just like this. He goes, he's standing kind of by the window.

He looks at me at the table. He looks at her, and he goes, just like this. He goes, he's standing kind of by the window. He looks out at me at the table. He looks at her and he goes just like that. What is that? Yo, the shrug gave me the shrug and I'm like, you know, and then she brings me the bill, full bill,

no apology, no nothing without the pizza. No, no, no, no. We got the pizza. She brought the pizza an hour later and then she,

and then she just brought the bill. No manager table visit, no nothing. And I'm like, dude, no, no, no, no,'m like dude no no no no no no no no so when i post something about a negatively better business which i very rarely do unless you're chile's salt lake city i ain't forgetting about you chile's but if i do that it's really because i want somebody that has taken the risk of owning that business to know what's going on at their

business. That's why I do it. It's not, I'm not trying to, I'm not trying to take a small business and grind them into the ground. I want the owner to be like, what the hell happened with this dude? Remember we had a conversation, I think it was here about a time when your kid's meal was forgotten and the dishes came out at the wrong time. Was that a restaurant where they did it? Right. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. They always do. Yeah. Yeah. Do you remember who that was? and the dishes came out at the wrong time. Was that a restaurant where they did it right? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They always do. Yeah, yeah.

Do you remember who that was? Well, no. That was, I think the specific thing we're talking about is, I think you're talking about the Buffalo Wild Wings when they tried that experiment where they were just bringing food to the table. Oh, that's right. As it came out, which they did not,

which the manager basically came out and threw his hands up and said, man, I'm really sorry. I have no control over this. Yeah. This is, I'm being directed from above. Please above please if you're not happy let them know that would actually help me because i've been having these conversations but that's an appropriate conversation but it was okay because here's the thing that people don't realize let's say they came over

and said okay i'm taking this pizza off your tab and this is a position of mine now because i do believe in the implied contract i'm going to come. I'm going to be polite to all service staff. I'm going to tip at least 20%. I'm going to sit here with my family. I'm not going to make a mess and expect you just to wait on me hand and foot. I'm going to participate in this social experiment at the restaurant in a way that's responsible as an adult.

Yes. Now, if you don't take any of those cues or if you don't do a couple little things, bring out the food, take drinks at some five to seven minutes after I get there. Food order within five minutes there after 10 minutes I can handle. I'm talking about the outer limits. Yes. I want it done a minute after I sit down.

I want that done four minutes after I sit down. But the outer limits, five minutes here, five minutes there. You get the drink order. You're welcome to say say i'll come back and do this but just communicate with me let me know that you're going to get the drink order and then let me know when you bring the drinks that it's time to order the food that's appropriate right do you need more time yeah come back in five minutes great we're all on the same page i'm going to sit there i will have my order ready i will not be a complete jerk about can you do this can you do this can you do this i will consolidate when i need something consolidate when necessary you do one quality check after i've eaten to see if anything's wrong hey i don't have a setup two

minutes or two bites two minutes or two bites that's that's it that's a good that's a very good yeah but give me three and four minutes let me know that you are alive if something was weird like hey my kid ordered this and they got a salmon sandwich or something disgusting you know anchovy whatever i don't have setups i don't have forks i have children right so for me it's important as long as you hit those four simple markers everything's fine and the food comes out and it's not frozen you know it doesn't need to be piping hot if it's warm it's sat under the it doesn't bother me that much do you know where do you know where most in restaurant people don't restaurant people appreciate this but a lot of them don't seem to know Where most people decide how much to tip?

No, no No No The decision is made normally and what affects the tip more than any other any other point of the meal they drop the checkoff is The time from when you're done to when you get the check if it takes forever The tip is dropping and I hate when they leave you sitting there over empty plates. You're sitting there, sitting there, sitting there, sitting there, sitting there,

sitting there, and then they run back over and you're just like, can I just get the check? And now that you want to bust my table. Like, dude, leave it at this point. Just go get the check. I don't care if you bust the table. You know, there's this restaurant. Chili's have these Zooks machines. Suck it, Chili's. chilies suck it so whatever that ownership

chain is though i love the fact that you can get your own bill on those tabletop machines i love that too yeah i've been with people that hate it i've been with people that protest it i go no no i don't want to be a hostage to your you coming around i got my food i've eaten yep we're done here. Yep, now I want to go. I'm ready to pay when I want to go. You give me that machine. I'm hitting it.

Rips it right to the 20%. If it was good, you notch it up a bit. My problem with them are little kids play with them. They're dirty, gross. I'm a germaphobe. That's it. I wash my hands. It's funny because you know what happened to me?

We went to a nice steakhouse. There was only three of us. I would love to know that. No, no, no. I lay awake in bed going, what happened to me? We went to a nice steakhouse. There was only three of us. I would love to know that. No, no, no. But we went. I lay awake in bed going, what happened to Colt? I got a lot of stories. But this one's nothing crazy.

But there was only three of us. Okay. So the person thought they could take it by memory. Oh, yeah. It happened. And I sat there. Did you use the Gorton line? Which I love the Gorton line.

Well, I wanted to at the end. The Gorton line is genius. When Eric goes to a restaurant, right? I've seen him do it. This is what he says. You know, when the waiter comes over and there's a handful of people and the waiter comes over to start ordering and they go, oh, and Eric will say every time, he'll say, are you going to write this down?

And then they go, no, no, I can remember it. And he goes, okay, then I'm going to make you a deal. I am perfectly happy to wait a couple seconds while you go get a pen. I'm fine with that. However, if you want to do it by memory, that's cool. But if you screw it up and it comes out wrong, I don't have to tip you. Is that a deal? That's what happened.

And they always just go, go get a pen and come back. And he's like, look, I just want my stuff right. I don't want to gamble on your memory. And that what this is there's only three of us so if i got i'm like and i even told my wife i go here's the deal there's three of us but there's going to be at least 10 12 things ordered so it's all sorts of right and who are you eating with i could take up my buddies was it a tapas thing or no no no. My buddies will order at Steakhouse. They just go deep. Everybody got their own antipasto.

No, I've got two friends. They'll go and they will order at least eight things off of one side. You're up to two friends now? That's good. Good job. You're making me uncomfortable. Well, it's you two. You guys are my friends.

You're not my friends. No, but it was funny because they came back. was screwed up we ordered bread three times we the steaks were both steaks were swapped the wrong way made it was just everything was a mess i used to take a table of up to eight with memory only yeah but not everybody's you yeah but if it start getting to seven eight depending on what it was kids stuff like that i'd i'd have the pen out and do it yeah i just i just i don't think i ever used the pen waiting tables either i i never did because i just i but i probably screwed up so i probably screwed up so many times it was it was not yeah thankfully i did i think maybe we just had more of a simple menu this was back at the

hard rock yeah just maple syrup and just in canada tails and maple syrup you got two choices five beaver tails three maple syrup yeah i two choices be like five beaver tails three maple serve yeah i'm just gonna walk out here and go to ted hortons and get you a donut hey that's what's gonna happen yeah the buildings were all connected to a tim hortons it was a part of the zoning tim hort i said ten words so anyway back to what i was trying to say before i got segued there anyway was you know on on it's on the old instagram like i'll think i'll have a banger right like i'm like oh this is gonna this is going to hit like the dumbest stuff. I'll get 20,000 views on and like stuff that I think like, this is going to be great. Like I'll

get, it'll crash. Right. So I saw a place yesterday or today, actually this morning. Could be the algorithm by the way. No, I mean, no, it's not, it's not, I I'm, I'm a firm believer that I don't blame the algorithm. If, if it doesn't blame, if it doesn't hit, it's just. I'm a firm believer that I don't blame the algorithm. If it doesn't hit, it's just because the content wasn't very good and it didn't resonate, right? That's why. So I made a post today because there was a place that's taking bets right now on who's going to win the presidential election.

They're taking prop bets on it, right? And in multiple places you can do this. You can place prop bets online for who's gonna be the election and right now the odds on money favorite is desantis to win to win to win it goes desantis then biden then trump then then the rest of them are like far kamala newsome just deep just deep at that point pence i mean it's just the odds get pretty long so my question was i'm not asking you if you're a republican or democrat i'm not asking you if you're you know who should win or who you want to win i'm asking you if you had to place a 500 bet today based on

what's going on today where you lay in the green and i thought people would like have no problem commenting on that and i think people were too chicken shit to throw. Cause it wasn't like, again, I didn't phrase it as who should win. Who do you want to win? Whatever it's, you got 500 bucks.

So, you know, this is one of those things that it's kind of, I was actually listening to Jordan Peterson on Joe Rogan. So I don't know if that makes me now a part of the shadow band. All right. No, because again,

I don't, I don't, I listen to people. I don't i don't i listen to people i don't always have to agree with everything they say but sometimes they say things i agree with yeah and it's talking about and they were just talking about the the weaponization of opinions right what you should have is that free he was talking about how he didn't like how in florida they were trying to ban critical race theory and that was peterson because he's an academic yeah he's like you can't ban thoughts how do you define that because that's that's where's the line and where's the line and

where's the line so that's an asinine concept and i so i heard a clip and i went and looked it up i'm like yeah that's a good that's a terrible idea to try to ban thoughts and he's like both parties are doing these things you shouldn't have weaponized opinions or your opinions shouldn't be weaponized against you right if you have a legitimate disagreement adults should be able to talk about it and do it. So you get a guy like Peterson who's canceled by the left for very minor infraction. I don't agree with a lot of what he says.

I agree with some of it. Some of it's facile. Some of it's very simple, you know, basic stuff, and people just get up in arms about it because of the messenger, right? That's an ad hominem attack constantly with these people, right? I listen to guys on the left and I go, man, that's way too far. You've taken that too far because the conclusion is absurd.

Play it out. Use your mind. Use mental exercises. Don't be afraid of people's ideas and thoughts. That's just crazy. So when people say, what's your vote? I don't post anything political anymore. But it wasn't a vote. It was what's your bet no what is your bet is an endorsement but it's not no

it's not because i like one of the answers one of the answers was one of the answers that somebody put which i thought was probably the best one they said depending on if there's actual collusion in in if there's actual collusion the voting machines well it'll be the democrat if there's actual collusion in in if there's actual collusion the voting machines well it'll be the democrat if there's not collusion but that's a that's a that's an asinine nonsensical baseless just that that kind of answer though is weaponized like it is politicized that person is marrying themselves to a concept that oh there's this rampant yeah there's probably some fraud here and there the republic Republicans have been the only people who've been found guilty of committing fraud in elections.

And it's always Republicans that are blaming because they lost. That to me is like Cincinnati fans blaming the refs or Chiefs or 49ers fans. Okay, can we talk about that though? It's the sour grapes that it's just like, look, being an adult, most adults are operating within 95% of the boundaries of social norms.

You didn't think the officiating in that Cincinnati game was horrendous. I don't think it was good. But Cincinnati had opportunities to win, and they didn't get it done. And that last play was over. They could have gotten it done. They didn't get it done. They made mistakes. Now, I thought the reffing was terrible.

I didn't think the Eagles 49ers reffing was good. But when you get blown out 31-7. Doesn't matter. Doesn't matter to 7 doesn't matter doesn't matter it doesn't matter well you know and here's the truth of it with the eagles chiefs thing i i think not the eagles chiefs thing but uh the cincinnati chiefs thing i think the eagles are gonna blast either one of those teams yeah yeah but that's the point where i can look at it and i say okay show me evidence that there's been this widespread collusion but people don't care about facts they feel a certain way and they want to put it down and it's social media because nobody on

earth who has actually a valid opinion on something that's backed up mind sitting in a room with another person who's equally mature and measured and having that conversation and coming to agreement that's what we used to do and online it's anonymity that's what people had thoughts it's where you have thoughts and you work on people don't have thoughts anymore your thoughts people think their thoughts are facts that's right but it's like your thoughts aren't facts like let's throw it out let's talk about it and well that let's figure out the facts like there there are facts the problem The problem is we're making it. So things are not right. There's no facts because the people presenting the facts are now looked at.

You shoot the messenger. Yep. Right. And this is literally the opposite of imposter syndrome, right? Where people have this overinflated sense of their own understanding of how things work. And then you pull it apart at all and be like, hey, how many countries in the world? I don't know. How many?

How does the electoral college work? I don't know. How does the electoral college work? I don't know. You don't know any of that, but you're going to talk to me about global political issues. I saw that two-thirds of Americans under 40 did not realize there were 6 million deaths in the Holocaust. They weren't even close. Like, two-thirds couldn't even come. Oh, yeah, sure. They're like, 200 billion died. or there's no sense of anything you watch these guys do the questions

on the street and he always answers yes yeah so when was the war of 1812 she's like i don't know 1972 he's like yes yes you know speaking you know we didn't talk about that because speaking of the world consistently getting dumber. So there's actually looks like it's going to be a Senate bill is going to make it across the floor to ban TikTok. And I believe I my here's my belief with that. There's two things happening right now simultaneously that I think are connected and nobody's connected these dots. And I'm going to connect them here in a way that I don't think is even a conspiracy theory. I think it's just common sense.

All right. connect them here in a way that i don't think is even a conspiracy theory i think it's just common sense all right so first off you've got everybody's you know for years you've had people that want to control or want to want to protect if you will whatever it is down on tiktok for several reasons number one is because number one is because a it is a chinese company run by the Chinese government. Run by the Chinese government that they have to give information over to, number one. Number two, if you look at the versions, self-proclaimed, they've had experts study this. If you look at the version of TikTok that is given to Chinese children, it's like spinach versus the version that is given to American kids. It's like heroin.

Just like sorbitol. No, they said it's like heroin. Yeah. Because essentially, if you were in China and you're a kid, you're limited to 40 minutes a day, and you can only see educational stuff. Yeah. That's what you get. Here, you get who can be the dumbest person imitating a Kardashian is what you get here. Right.

So they are weaponizing social media to create an entire generation of idiot kids is what they're trying to do. Now, I think the reason that this is happening right now is there is also a class action lawsuit filed currently against Google to break up their monopoly on digital advertising. As soon as they bought, what is it, Double Ad Click a couple of years ago, they essentially have a monopoly now online. They do. It's probably approaching it. And there is absolutely a class action right now that's getting heard to break them up. So my thoughts and feelings are, I would guess, I mean, sure, there's probably some of our representatives who take some money from the Chinese government.

You have to believe there is. But at the same time, I think a shit ton of them take it from Google. A lot of them take money from Google. And now Google has gone all in in the last two months with Google Shorts, which essentially operates and works the exact same way. No, not Reels. Shorts. YouTube Shorts. It's just like a TikTok.

It functions the same way as TikTok. So my guess is Google's like, all right, all right, U.S. representative that I fund your campaign or U.S. senator that I give money to. Sure. Help me get this projected out as a threat to the united states and kicked off and then we're standing here to pick up all of that business so if they lose their case on their 500 billion dollar industry that's the least conspiratorial thing i think we've said on this show yeah i i think i think those two things are absolutely connected. Well, I think they exist. I mean, I think there's 50,000 things that have to do with commercial interest of Google that are connected to other things.

That's definitely one of, but it's not like probably 100% overlapping. They're just like, here's the world we would like to live in. Here's the money to make sure that that happens. Yeah. And it's on the list yeah i think they know how bad they are watching everything we do through our phone and then they go oh shit china we're giving all this information china nope we're not we're not okay i mean from day one they were not okay with tiktok legitimately though china does run a state that nobody should be comfortable with if it has to do with the trade

of information oh for sure that that is a country that is under zhing it is not um one that has what i would call healthy human rights records it's not one that that may as well not be mao make a mean iphone though the huawei and make a mean iphone what you mean huawei did you see how many people freaking jumped on my post and these iphones are garbage i saw the fucking voicemails days after and i thought okay maybe so convenient it's the iphone but did you read everybody space colt could you give it a second and then come down to your phone and could have got terrible by that time all right well let's get on topic for the day now that if you're still with us 27 minutes into the podcast today but you know an important 27 important 27 minutes i believe there's a book out there called the

imposter cure by dr jessimeamy Hibbard, who talks about imposter syndrome and breaking it down. And this has come up a couple of times lately for me, and I want to talk about it today. And I'll tell you the examples that it's come up with. One of which was, I'm in my coaching group the other day, and I've got all my people that I coach for real estate, and they're on the call, and it's my weekly Zoom call Monday morning. And one of the agents in the call was like, you know, I'm just been having a lot of, a lot of people cancel and not

no show me on appointments. Right. So I'm thinking, man, maybe, you know, it's like hurting my ego and my pride. And like, I don't know if like they're rejecting me at my personality. Like they don't like me enough to come meet with me. Like, is it me? Like what's going on? Right. Right. And so that to me was a classic case of imposter syndrome. Cause this is a great agent that does, you know, 30 deals, 40 deals a year, which is more than, you know, 99% of realtors do a great agent, but was doubting herself because other people were doing this. I asked her a question and I said, let me ask you a question. How many agents are there? You know, I didn't ask her how many I said, assuming that there's 20,000 agents in the MLS right now, how many of those 20,000 agents are you better than?

Where would you rank yourself from one to 20,000? Where are you going to drop yourself in there? And she probably ranked herself too low. She goes, I don't know, probably like 499. I said, okay. So even at 499, which I think is too low, you're telling me you're better than 19,500 of the other people, 501, of the other people doing this job. So to me, it sounds like anybody

that gets on the phone with you is damn lucky that they got you instead of one of those 19,501 and flipping her thought process about that was very helpful. But also when I go to these big events, top two and a half percent, by the way, for you. Yeah, for sure. But when I go to these big events, then my mastermind group events with people that are heavy hitters that make a bunch of money, everybody in there, it comes up all the time that they're all like i have imposter syndrome i have imposter syndrome i'm imposter it happens all the time so it's it's not if you're listening

to this and that's something that happens to you it's it's not you it's everybody has this from time to time well everybody who's actually like actually worth a shit yeah okay but how much of that is is a is a imposter syndrome how much of it is just a healthy sense of self-awareness? No, I think some of it, here's the thing again. And one of my favorite statements that I've heard lately is, Kent Clothier was addressing somebody, I don't remember what they were talking about, but they said something.

And he said, let me ask you a question. He goes, is that your truth or is that the truth? And I think all of imposter syndrome is based in that one thought process, that one piece of the puzzle. And for a lot of people, the truth is not their truth. And their truth is limiting them from success in relationships and business and everything else. So I don't know. Is it healthy a little bit to doubt your to doubt yourself yes if you are doubting yourself in the realms of what most people do of just complete and untruths you're just you told yourself a story that

doesn't make any sense then no i don't believe that is healthy you think that like social media and everything's making it yes people have worse, right? Because I know people that are super smart and super successful and they're always doubting themselves. Yeah, I mean. Because they know they don't know everything. Or I think everybody on social media wants to pretend that they know everything nowadays. Dude, you know what's killing me right now? I mean, I'll be honest to say this.

You know what kills me? When I'm scrolling through whatever social media and see that this is how i make fifty thousand dollars a month online yeah and just some 20 year old kid and you're like yeah really fuck you pal like no but you're like you toys but you're like i mean you're like god you know you're like fuck and you just have to remember that that you know that's not the norm no that's not the masses and it is a lot of it's probably not true but that it's just it's it seems like there's so much of that and it's just like wow and do i think there's people that make that kind of money online of course there is of course there are but at the same time it's like people over exaggerate people

often do things where it's uh let me see your mortgage balance. Yeah. You know, let me see your HELOC balance. Let me see what your, they say the average person, you know, I could be butchering this, but even people who make six figures still live paycheck to paycheck on average. Really? Yep. That's not good.

Paycheck to paycheck on six figures. Now, that means you have all this culture keeping up with the Joneses, right? Yeah. Somebody's saying, if you live in your parents' basement and have a Fendi purse, you know, on six figures now that means you have all this culture keeping up with the joneses right yeah somebody's saying if you live in your parents basement and have a uh fendi purse you know you're doing it wrong i don't remember who that was it was like a ramsay or something or one of those guys he's right he's right he's 100 right you should drive a honda civic you should drive a honda civic right you should have a you know you should always be ahead of the curve if you're living up to your means because you think you deserve a mercedes or whatever you know you don't understand you know

i don't know maybe you've just never suffered through poverty in a way that's you know or they just i don't know they have their priorities so wrong i was with a group of people three of them had uh three four hundred dollar shoes on these guys i, you know, it's like, Jesus, I'm doing a lot better than you and I never spend that for just tennis shoes, right? These are gifts. As I'm looking at Chris's shoes. No, but these are people that literally,

if you said, hey, give me 500 bucks, they could not. They could not come up with $500, right? Then why are you out drinking with them? No, I wasn't drinking with them. No, I wasn no i wasn't showing your friends i'll show you your future yeah no i wasn't with them i was not drinking with them not whatever no but you know it's true but people will go they'll go to these nice restaurants they'll go to the toka maderas they'll go rack up all these bills it's like how don't you find that you work too damn hard to be worried about money just for the opportunity to sell for you

just to be there just to be like i mean you're not there yet just hold on well and even i think even if i think once you get there trust me there's places where you're just like i think you told me would you pay 34 for an old-fashioned stack i was like that's just stupid no i don't enjoy it no it's like there's no set to me i'm annoyed but there's no such thing like that there's no such thing as a 34 old fashion no unless it's happy yeah but then why are you not putting it straight yeah that's all i'm saying that's my point there's no such thing as a 34 old fashion i mean if somebody made me an old-fashioned with pappy i would pay 35 for it oh absolutely but this was like a year ago and it

still bothers me but still i'd pay that for it's a year ago and it still bothers me. I would slap you for doing that, though. I'd pay that for it. That's a year ago and it still bothers me. That you pay that much for it. I'm like, I can't go. I'm not going to that restaurant. No, it's true. I don't enjoy feeling like somebody. I don't enjoy feeling like a tourist to begin with. Do you have that?

You know, like imposter. I feel like in this town, Las vegas town you know i don't go to places where i'm going to be treated like a tourist where it's like yeah that's this overpriced thing because you're here for an experience right right like i know if i go to a stadium i go to the raiders game you're dropping 120 bucks on drinks period yeah right that's because you know 250 on bail sorry that's a raiders joke i think um it was no but you know you know. $250 on bail. Sorry. That's a Raiders joke, I think. It was.

No, but you know when you go. But if I'm just going to a restaurant, we're going to whatever. You know, the best old-fashioned in town is Lazy Doug. It so is. It's not even close. So when I go to, if you go to Stack and you pay $34 as opposed to $15. Yeah. I'm going, I'd rather have two of those.

Right. What are you doing? I'm married. I'm going, I'd rather have two of those. Right. What are you doing for? I'm married. I'm not here to pick up women. Anyway, I totally couldn't agree more. I get it there. And I think that's social media, right? I think people are, everything wants to be perfect, photogenic. Oh, I was here.

I was there. And people are going so into debt because of it. And if you have imposter syndrome because you're fronting all the time, that's a different issue. Well, that's a prop. That's a problem. This is,

this is what I'm talking about today is really unjustified imposter syndrome. It's basically when you are put in a situation and a lot of people struggle with this, especially with like public speaking, when they get offered, just when they get asked to speak somewhere, they're like, why would anybody want to listen to me?

That's right. And what they don't understand is you're you're already halfway over the hump just by them asking you that's right it means that there's a market yeah they're not going to ask you if they don't firmly believe that you have something to say to help people so i had a i had a trial scheduled for yesterday and i used i love going to court love it but covid all the courts have been on um blue jeans like zoom yeah blue jeans i was going to court i was getting nervous i was getting very nervous and this is for nothing a low stakes situation but it had to do with the case and i and i set it for trial because they were trying to give me a deal and i said no i'm taking this to trial i think covid did that right right it did remember god first time we came back to the office and we weren't even out of the

office that long but i remember it was kind of awkward everybody's just talking again isn't it weird kind of weird you know it's so quickly how things switch because when you see somebody now with a mask out you're like yeah weirdo yeah you're like god what do they have a guy in his own car with a mask on still in his own car that's crazy that's i got cut off three times the other day by somebody and i got next one like yeah no but but my point is i get to court you know and i'm feeling like hey i i can do this you know because everybody i don't care who you are they say mike tyson before he would get in the ring right would have that you know this man can't you know he would have to talk himself up every single fight there's not a

professional fighter well doesn't get in the ring that's got some kind of level of imposter syndrome at some point before the fight right you're doubting yourself well they this book says it says the most common feeling you get is fear of any situation we walk in and fear which triggers the fight-or-flight response which causes you know the throat to close up you get and you know you get agitated you get that so if you're in a situation or you are around people if you're going to a dinner and all of a sudden you're like oh man i'm just i'm agitated you have to understand what it is because once you go into that fight-or-flight it really starts to domino and the ball gets rolling

downhill it's your parasympathetic and sympathetic reflex response what was that can you google that i know how parasites that's just the inappropriate google horn scrabble horn we're gonna go that's that's what it gets triggered triggered. And there's good reasons for it. You know, it's there to protect you. Well, again, it comes down to understanding if it's the truth or if it's your truth. And I think that's one of those things when, you know, a lot of this, according to this book, a lot of imposter syndrome is really based in your childhood, where as a kid, you just take everything at face value.

So if you have kids, remember this, if you know, but if you're struggling with this, you might want to take a little revisit back to your childhood and understand how you were reassured or taught by your parents. Cause if you were always told that, you know, it wasn't good enough by your parents, probably nothing you're doing as an adult feels good enough either. Probably go back to the Robert green, right? Yeah. Go back,

go back to that, which is good, which again, I think if you have kids and you want them to avoid this in the long run, this is why it's a really good idea to always celebrate effort and not results because effort is something can be measured and controlled, controlled, right?

You can, sometimes the effort, sometimes the results are out of your hands, but the effort is always within your grasp. Like with Joe Burrow this weekend with Cincinnati Biggles. It's not a sports show, I know. Not a sports show. I didn't even watch it.

Really? No. Turned on like the last two minutes, saw the guy do his stupid play. I knew it. Watching him run him down, I'm like, he's going to hit him out there. My wife threw on this really big brisket. So I'm like, oh, what are you guys doing? Oh, man.

I forgot about the brisket until right now. I think I just like the toast. Yeah, I shot you guys saying I got a brisket so i'm like oh what do you guys oh man i forgot about the brisket till right now i think i just like the toast yeah i shot john i'm like shot you guys say i got a brisket if you watch the game john thumbs up like is he coming no yeah i mean no great job for the brisket but i'm not coming nobody get back to the job did i respond right at my daughter's birthday yes i did way later you did i didn't have my phone. Sorry. You did. But back to your childhood. I mean, also what causes some of this is what was successful to your family. You may have grown beyond that. And this is why a lot of people get really trapped in that hamster will of abject poverty, because that's just where their comfort level is. That's what they always saw. That's why it's so hard to escape and level up to that next level.

Because as a kid, if you were just taught, well, this is who we are. This is what we do. You know, you look at those people that live in the Midwest who, you know, granddad worked in the coal mine. Dad worked in the coal mine. I'm going to work at the coal mine. Same thing, you know, in Michigan. Granddad worked at Ford.

Dad worked at Ford. I'm going to work at Ford. I'm going to live in a house three blocks away from my parents and marry my girl. michigan granddad worked at ford dad worked at ford i'm gonna work at ford now i'm gonna live in a house three blocks away from my parents and marry my girl like they're done before they even start so understanding that your childhood or your family could have inadvertently and and inexplicably and accidentally inadvertently it's so inadvertent well no no but no because they don't even realize they're doing it is my point. But they could have absolutely, without even thinking about doing it, placed like a fence

around your expectation of life without even realizing they did it. So if you're struggling to get to that next level or struggling to get out of where you're at, maybe look at how you came up and understand that it's okay to be better than your parents. Sure. It's okay. Wouldn't you say that imposter syndrome is kind of something that's suffered by professional salespeople, right? All these people that have to be present, have to present, though, as an expert in their field. No, I think it's suffered by anybody.

I think, okay, there's never been a time in your life. You're on the assembly line. Hang on a second. Let me back up. And you, because this had to have been you. But you're telling me there's never been a time in your life when you dated a girl that deep down you felt was maybe out of your league. Well, of course. That's imposter syndrome.

That's my current wife. You and me both. I didn't date your wife i'm saying the point what the but the point is when you first got together with your wife if you thought she was out of her out of your league you suffered i think from imposter syndrome so like me when i first got together again like when i first got together with gidget like i was from tampa where we just wore board shorts all the time. There was no style involved in my entire look. It was just the beach.

That was kind of what we did. And when I got out of there, she's like, I'm going to have to clean you up a little bit. That's what she even said. A little rough around the edges, but I think I got enough that I can work with. And there was a lot of overcompensating when I first got with her. That's a funny thing you mentioned that about spouse because i feel like i was at an age and

place in my life where i felt like no no this is the person i deserve to be with with my wife see that's where you're trying to get to though you deserve i think that's where i was with my wife i think i've dated lots of girls in the past where i thought they were too good for me and it turns out i was wrong and they weren't right yeah but but i think that's in work i think in life right you get around people and i mean you can get thrown in some big rooms you're like oh i'm out of my league and then down the line you're like yeah yeah i'm not out of my league yeah this is not an impressive yeah exactly well i think the biggest mistake people make in that situation just coming from from experience there on both sides of that coin is the one thing you cannot do if you're suffering

from this like if you get a table with if you get a table with some people that are just balling right which which happens to me now luckily all the time there's a lot of times when i'm sitting the table where i'm by far by far the least wealthy person at the table, which that's the table you want to be at. But what you cannot do at that table. And what I probably did years and years ago when I first started getting at those tables was I would try to flex, try to fight,

you know, you try to find common ground. Oh, you do that. I do that too. Right. Like, and I'll never forget,

like I was out with a client one time that was a billionaire and he starts talking about like horses or something. And I start just instinct salesman kicks in. I start talking about like Ocala, Florida, where they have these horses and how, oh my God. And I'm like, and I stopped myself after I started doing it. I'm like, this dude is a billionaire. We can talk about me and he'll be nice to me as a human,

but I am here to facilitate a need for him, nothing further than that. Yeah, but don't you get to a point, this is hopefully the goal, to get to the point where you realize that how much money you have is so irrelevant to people that want to be around genuine authentic people right a thousand percent like the people i like i don't sit there and go oh this person's got a ton of money or i want to know that you're decent you're funny you got a story to tell nobody cares none of your friends if they're truly your friend right and if they do care you fuck them anyway yeah let's let's talk about this i told gidget this last night which which is pretty funny, which is our, you know, Mardi Gras party's coming up. And I was laughing because I said, you know,

there's such a hodgepodge of people that are going to be at this party. It is every spectrum of everybody I know. And I told her, I said, the funniest thing is there's going to be some folks that come to this party. And just because there are, I mean, because human nature, whatever, friends of friends, people will bring friends that I maybe don't know,

whatever, blah, blah, blah. And they will look at some of the people at this party that look like homeless. And they will be the, but what they don't realize is the people that look the brokest are the richest people in that world. And it's definitely going to happen. And they're going to be like, ooh, you know, somebody's getting, somebody, a friend of a friend of somebody is going to say, who's that? Like, why is that guy here?

And it's like, oh, that dude? Yeah. Let me tell you about a that guy here and it's like oh that dude yeah let me tell you about 100 million dollar ken you know what i mean let me tell you about him yeah and i know that's gonna happen you know that's what made las vegas great was that you used to have this mixing of all these different people right like you would have city cowboys people at uh o'shea's remember when when broke people had a place to come to the city? Now everything pushes out to ultra luxury and it's just less fun because, you know, people bring different elements to things, right? I mean, like people from the Midwest coming to bachelor parties here, they kind of stop doing it because you're priced out when everything's ultra luxury all the time. Downtown, though, you still get the seas of humanity downtown. But that's like my crowd.

I like it when people, but i like to be around competence and this goes to to imposter syndrome not to like drag it back but people like to be around others that are competent in what they do right women they say one of the number one things find me the best woodworker on earth and i guarantee he's got an attractive spouse the best woodworker the best whittler the best welder i guarantee you is very successful and has a because if you're extra if you're i want to hear about this competition though how do you figure out who the best woodworker in the world no no but but people i mean look at look at di resta on on youtube i'm just gonna point this out Geppetto was single and he made a boy.

I'm just going to point that out. I don't need a next joke. Oh my God. I almost made a joke about it. Wow. Cancel both of you. Yeah, thanks, John. Don't get this canceled. No, but everybody you've ever met

that's the best at what they do, I don't care if it's whatever, is successful. They do well. Because they have confidence. Yeah, and if you're ultra competent and you're confident, people want to be around you. So if you're, I'm a plumber why i don't want to hang out with

lawyers it's like well no no no i want to be around people that are passionate and excellent what they do and it can all be translated it doesn't matter what industry you're in sure doctors don't want to just hang out with other doctors now they will oftentimes because they have a lot in common right they see common ground and a lot of things they can relate to each other in the conversation but like i said a lot of people at a party want to talk to people that do different things. Well, that, that goes along with like something Roland Frazier said that I love. What was it, Roland Frazier? I don't know if I'm giving this right credit. So I don't remember who said this. I'm going to, I'm going to give it to Roland,

even though I don't know if it was him, but there's a, there's a story about him and he was coaching somebody that owned a carpet business that wanted to pivot all of a sudden. He had a carpet cleaning business and he wanted to pivot to do something else completely different. And then Roland said, or maybe it was Joe Posh. I don't remember what it was, but they said to him,

they said, uh, let me ask you a question before you pivot. Are there any millionaires in the carpet cleaning business? The guy goes, well, sure. There's people that make a ton of money in carpet cleaning.

He goes, okay, then you're not a bad carpet cleaner. You're a shitty businessman and you're going to be a shitty businessman at anything you do. So stay with what, you know, stay with what you're supposed to be doing. Yeah. If you pivot to something else, you're going to suck at that too. So you might as well just stay with carpet cleaning and get better at it. That's a good point. You might as well do sucking transfers over but success also transfers, right? Like people can go and have different businesses and be successful.

And it's because maybe they have a little bit of imposter syndrome, but they, so they look to experts in that field they're going into. Right. And that's what a lot of people don't realize is just because you're super successful, you can have a little doubt, right? But you can't let the doubt overtake you. I mean's just well like you said mentally it just keeps coming of imposter syndrome and what that is it's all a part of cognitive dissonance right in psychology cognitive dissonance is where our brain doesn't necessarily match up with where our thoughts

or whatever you know so there's a dissonance and as human beings we try to avoid dissonance we try to that's three times you said dissonance. We try to bridge the gap. That's three times you said dissonance. No, but we try to bridge that gap. That's a three-time Scrabble word. No, but if something doesn't line up with our self-image, if I walked into a place and they go, oh, Chris Connell, that guy's an asshole, I would go, wait a minute, I thought I was being super nice. It's going to create me an issue.

So I either go, they're the problem, or I go, I need to work on it. So people that are imposters have imposter syndrome. When you're a professional and you're evidently good at what you do, this girl with dirty clothes is a successful lawyer, a successful doctor. I'm going into surgery. I've done this surgery a hundred times,

but do I really know what I'm doing? If you're going to get past that, you're going to close the gap on the dissonance by figuring it out or just take it easy on yourself well there's two things around it there's two ways that it shows up and the two ways according to the book that it shows up is either an avoidance or overworking those two things so it's like to get over this and prove that i'm worthy i'm going to overdo everything i do and strive for perfectionist this is where when you see people that are quote-unquote perfectionist like man like it's exhausting because everything they do,

they're just over, it's overkill. They're actually suffering from imposter syndrome and they feel like their end product has gotta be perfect or you'll expose them for what they do. So if you're someone that is a perfectionist, you may wanna take a look at some deeper kind of root of this, because it may just be you're suffering from a little bit

of imposter syndrome and not you know there's no such thing as perfection unless you're working on the nuclear weapon uh let's not let surgeons let's just enter yeah people working on the nuclear bomb or whatever i think it's like when you have a conversation with somebody with business and they go into a 10-minute thing when it was really seconds. They're just trying to prove to you that they are so knowledgeable. And they use a lot of big words, big words that no one else understands. Razor sharp delivery, though. Razor sharp, succinct delivery. Well, the second thing is avoidance. When they just like start avoiding situations where they might get exposed, they say no to dinner invitations. They say no to eating with their boss.

They say no to these speaking engagements or mastermind groups because they're terrified. But the reality of it is, that is the most, it is the most succinct form of self-sabotage there is. If you start saying no to anything that could advance you in any way of your life, I mean, you're just, at that point,

you're just shooting yourself in the foot, and it's the worst thing you can do. Yeah. Lawyers suffer a disproportionate amount of imposter syndrome because people expect a lawyer to know literally everything there is to know about this thing called the law. What is the law? Well, I know all there is to know about certain very specific things.

Right. I mean, I know enough that I won't commit malpractice. And then you can go into it. So our goal is to never commit malpractice, right? And to know enough that we're going to protect you on these certain things. But I'll have people call me up about family law issues. And so people that want to please others or they want to have a business where they take on too many things right they say i we're a full service law firm

so okay um i want to know about admiralty you tell me i want to argue about the geneva convention or something you can't know all that but people are expect lawyers to know everything there is to know about this thing and none of them do zero of do. And they all suffer imposter syndrome, especially when they're starting out. That's when they'll start tailoring kind of what they do. And you get to a level where you realize there's enough business in your niche. And I'll turn down work now that I used to take,

because I'll be like, I don't know anything about that. Yeah. I don't know. I'm so scared. If you say you don't know, then people will be like, Oh yeah.

Now I'm like, don't know. Call this guy. Yeah. Yeah. Well, there's a way of saying, I don't know if you say you don't know then people be like oh yeah now i'm like don't know call this guy yeah yeah but there's a way of saying i don't know right hey let me check i'll have to double check stuff like that right i was on a conference call with five different attorneys last week and the clients were just drilling these attorneys and they kept going uh let me check out the check uh you know that's anrs let me check check let's check right and they kept going, let me check out the check. You know, that's an NRS. Let me check, check. Let's check. Right. And they kept saying that.

I'm like, you guys just lay out everything to them and let them do their research. Now, like they don't know everything. Right. I don't know it, but I can, I know how to find it. Like I just picture a guy getting up from the zoom call and grabbing one of those books off the wall. Or I could tell the guys, one of the attorneys on the side google and all murder what's what's regicide can you imagine can you imagine practicing law when you had to buy all

those books my dad always had all the books i did so when i was in law school we had to go shepherd eyes and we had to go do keynotes in actual law books i would look up books i didn't just live online like not that it wasn't there, but it was. But you had to learn how to use Westlaw. So this is 15 years ago. I think it's probably now. I don't know if they make kids go to life. But I could go to a law library and find you the on-case law. Let me ask you this, because it is so complicated.

Do you think AI is going to produce a generation of lawyers that aren't as good? Yeah. Yeah, it's going to produce a generation of everybody that's not as good yeah yeah it's gonna produce a generation of everybody's not as good yeah that's why kids can't play defense and basketball notes or like you know whatever it is there's so many things where you know if somebody takes it away from you you don't have to do it anymore why would i specialize in it right like there's a guy who's great at making you know buggy whips or whatever there's a guy who's probably a great buggy whip manufacturer you know a buggy whip buggy whips this what would you use a buggy whip for for buggies you don't

that's what i'm saying so it's like do you think there's a imagine if buggy whip you know purveyors were very highly compensated and someone came around with the car you'd be like well shit this is probably going to change the nature of my business and how ai is going to take over a lot of stuff it'll take over a lot of tasks for someone like me that's not afraid to pivot it's probably going to just you know like i was telling somebody on my i play on a basketball team full of lawyers and i said well this is uh now 205 generals or 205 days of vacation instead of 200 right now what are the washington generals you bet against i thought the generals were due you just get clubbed the club trotters every weekend yeah but i said to him i mean like well hopefully this will just make your business more valuable because people don't want to interact with ai we're still humans all this stuff that

we think is going to be replaced but you don't know know. You don't know. You don't know. And in 20 years from now, they're going to have that down pat. You won't know. You won't know. You won't know. But back to what we were talking about. So obviously self-doubt is terrible. Obviously knowing that perfection is not real, again, thing is going to be there.

But having a fear of failure, I think this is something that people really, if you have a fear of failure in anything, there's two things you can do. Number one, like whenever I have somebody that comes to work for us and we have to make a lot of calls, right? Because a lot of real estate's done by just doing calls. Leads come in, you have to call them back. You have just outbound calls.

So people have this fear, this unnerving fear being told no. So put a value on the negative response. Like value the negative response. Like if every time somebody says yes or something good happens from a situation, put a value on that and then figure out how many times you have to fail to get that positive result

and then divide the number of times you fail by the positive result and you know how much you make in the face of failure yeah totally agree valuing the failures that's a very mature thing to do though yeah it's very mature it's very well regulated i usually people i just say you know you suck loser and they tend to just you know figure it out well i mean that that comes that comes back okay well the biggest part of having fear of any situation is because you you have you self-critique yourself into a place where you have fear and you have to understand anytime in your adult life when you're getting feedback there's external feedback

and internal feedback the voice in your head is probably giving you harder feedback than any than anybody you'll get unless you're married married, right? Sorry, Colt. But even when you're getting that harsh external feedback, you've got it. You can, you got two ways you can do it. You can internalize it and you can fester on it, or you can take it and turn it into fuel to get better. You can gauge what have, what have this feedback is true, what is not true and be honest with yourself and drive headfirst into what is true. I had had i had the conversation with my daughter yesterday and we just sort of talking about there's this statistic that girls suffer on average three to five times the amount of anxiety that boys do and they start getting 13 and 14 and they start

getting boobs and they start becoming you know they have to navigate these really choppy waters of they're coming into their own hormonally they're coming in their bot like it's all weird and i i don't do not envy any 13 14 15 year old girl on the planet no that's a rough because you're now becoming um a potential mother whether or not our society says so that's what your body is saying right so there's a biological response that you may now have to protect life so you get anxiety about you know things that you may maybe don't even understand why you're getting them right so i was talking to her about this and i was like you realize that everything that goes on we're talking about girls and anxiety or whatever i said every single thing you think somebody else

is thinking about you they aren't yeah nobody's thinking about it she's always like yeah yeah yeah but i'm like no no no they're really not really want you to understand they're really not nobody's thinking about you right now other than me yeah sorry unless you're being like super obnoxious and trying to prove it right like other than that no one's thinking of you there may be 13 seconds where someone talks some shit about you. And that's it. If that sets your path on bullied, so it's like, no, it's a shit.

And that person is working through their own problems and whatever. So I was like, look, nobody's really thinking about you. People with imposter syndrome are sit there worried. Everyone thinks I'm a fake. Everyone thinks I'm this. But you know, the worst thing you can think if you have imposter syndrome and if you've this is if this is ever come out of your mouth describing any portion of success you've had in your life outside of buying a lottery ticket, you're screwing yourself up. If you have success, don't tell people you were lucky.

Don't say, oh, man, I got lucky. Right place, right time. It's not luck. It's not. Can you say that not to be like, hey, you've got to work no no no no no no no you've got to own you've got to own your input into any situation that came out favorably like if you buy a lot of ticket you win sure that's lucky if you go to the casino win sure that's lucky but for guys that like win the world series of poker that spent 20 years playing poker

every day to get to build a skill set am i going to say they were lucky or is that a skill set they say lux lux smells a lot like perspiration yeah one thousand percent but i don't mind if somebody says hey man i was the right place right time i will look at them like oh this is a successful person with some humility too yeah well but again but and i think it's more important let me rephrase what i was saying it's fine to tell people that in an act of humility or self-deprecation that's fine if you're telling yourself that the only reason this happened is because i got lucky you're screwing yourself up i mean that's more if it happens once i wouldn't here's the thing though there's a part of me that goes if it happens to you once you hit a stroke of luck there's so many people that don't have that self-awareness that now consider themselves experts and go and think that they

can make this translate to a bunch of other industries but if they think they have an expert if they think they're experts and they have a different problem than what we're talking about have a much different problem well fair enough if you want to learn more about this topic again this was a pretty decent book it's called the imposter cure by j by Jessamy Hibbard, Dr. Jessamy Hibbard. So if you want to learn more about this, check out that book. Colt, if they want to find you, how do they find you? Colt underscore Amadon on Instagram. Don't leave me a voicemail.

Don't leave me a voicemail. Call me real quick. If you need commercial real estate stuff, call Colt. Just hit him up directly. I feel like your secretary so often like i get i have so many people hit me up about commercial real estate every week like oh hey who's that commercial guy on your podcast i'm like it's colt colt underscore amadine yeah amadine group.com i'm just gonna take that commercial yeah you can find my cell phone super

easy yeah yeah my number is 702 connell for god six you can text it you can call it connell c-o-n-n-e-l-l 702 connell so co-connell and if you're watching this again on the youtube or one of those things give us a like give us a subscribe and whatever podcasting you're listening to us on make sure you give us the maximum star of the possibly can every little bit helps. And we appreciate it. So we will see you guys next week. And remember,

if you're going to move, you might as well move forward. See you next time, everybody. Hey, it's John Gafford. If you want to catch up more and see what we're doing, you can always go to the John Gafford.com where we'll share any links

that we've things we talked about on the show, as well as links to the YouTube where you can watch us live. And if you want to catch up with me on Instagram, you can always follow me at thejohngafford. I'm here. Give me a shout.