Escaping the Drift with John Gafford - Stop F*#CKING lying to others (and more importantly to yourself) EP 64

Episode Date: September 22, 2022

I'm going to be honest with you: my success didn't come easy. I had to work hard for every penny, and I had to learn how to be honest with myself and with others. In this podcast, I share the story of how honesty led me to where I am today – and how it can do the same for you.With Chris Connell and Colt AmidanLinks: Listen On Spotify : https://open.spotify.com/show/7cWN80gtZ4m4wl3DqQoJmK?si=70ad5ca4f51e4accListen On Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-power-move-with-john-gafford/id1582927283Follow on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thejohngafford/Connect on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/gafford2

from the art of the deal to keeping it real live from the simply vegas studios it's the power move with john gafford back again back again back again and counselor dude it's been like a month since i've seen you i think two weeks maybe it's been it's been that long dude it's it's been a hot second did take a little bit of time off because i've got some projects going on and things happen like we're back and uh our iq level on the show you weren't here when i came up with it though oh because i had a debate and it was in literally we put it on on the gram i forgot about this i've been called it like four times i know we have we put it on there and i was in literally we put it on on the gram i forgot about this i've been called it like four

times i know we have we put it on there and i was like people i was like yeah do we do do we do bulgarian mongoose or do we switch it i thought the new one because i was watching lsu play and it hit me the money badger for colt and i put it up on social media it was a 50 50 vote and i could see the disdain you already have for it. Or is it just the love for the Bulgarian mongoose? Yeah, I made people come up to me like. You know what the problem with the Bulgarian mongoose is that it's not good to have that stick. What was good was a new one every week.

Yeah. But the Bulgarian mongoose was the one where I just felt like we were on top of the mountain. Yeah. Like, where do you go? I think the top of the mountain. So you go, do you keep doing that? You try to improve, innovateator you can't climb again you just run with it you think i look like the money badger with my ascot you know in all fairness

talk about the ascot today if you if you showed me a picture of a man with an ascot it would be money badger that's a good point yeah he just tipped the well. Well, Money Badger, Money Badger, Bulgarian, whatever it is. Sexy. Ask Scott, whatever it is. Colt Amadan joins us on the Power Move today, and as well as always, the counselor, Chris Connell. I am your host, John Gafford, and welcome to the Power Move. This is a show where we talk about business.

We talk about life. We talk about lots of stuff, but we're going to start talking about something a little more specific here for the next little bit. Is this me banging or you banging? It's you. It's me banging. I'll turn it off. Sorry. But we're going to talk about a couple of things that are important because number one, I've been working on a side project, which is why I haven't been here. And I have been working on a book and that book is getting close to having some framework and having some things. And as we have the chapters laid out and kind of

the general idea of how this deal is going to go, I want to kind of start breaking the podcast down into individual chapters that we already have. And I want to kind of get some feedback from you. So you listening at home, are you watching on YouTube? Do me a favor, comment back, hit us up. If you see this clip somewhere floating around on social media, if you're watching it in its entirety, if you're listening to it. If you manage a Chili's. Whatever it is. No, if you don't manage Chili's. Your opinion matters not to me if you work at Chili's. But anywhere that you may see this, if you see it somewhere where you're not, somewhere you can comment, DM me. Go on Instagram

and DM me and tell me the parts of it that resonate with you because this is kind of like my live feedback for how this is going to go. It's going to be real hard to do a scratch and sniff book over podcast. It is. It's a coloring book. It's going to be your version is a coloring book. You have a color book thing. The worst thing about reading is my finger gets tired. Exactly. Right. It takes from scratching. But anyway, so this week we are going to talk about what is chapter one in this book because because really the theme of the book and what it is is i didn't become i didn't have any type of large scale success i would say or generalized success until i was you know my mid-30s call me a late bloomer call whatever it is but you know you look at it and you know colonel sanders didn't hit till he

was in his 60s so i was going to say is that a late bloomer no well it ain't no no and i'll tell you why it is i'll tell you why it's a tech people out of the the equation i mean but that's a skewed variable no no but here's the problem the problem is now in the age of social media when you can make a ton of money for doing nothing or doing stuff stupid the benchmark for what you should see or what people do see for success that age is skewed down it really is what it is you know it was always real business is not well but here's the thing it was always i think success is one of those things that was always you got time you got time you got time and now with the speed of information everything else that's compressed and i can tell you when i was when

i was in my early 20s mid-20s whatever it was And, and even in my thirties in, I would say I had some cool jobs and I did some cool stuff. You know what I mean? But I never really, I was never really in my own mind successful. And I kind of found myself, you know, when we were working with the, with the, with the, with the editor and I was coming up with, with the, with the title for the book and I was coming up with what it was, we talked about the apprentice. And when I was up with what it was. We talked about The Apprentice and when I was on The Apprentice and she said, you know, at one point we're talking about,

you know, what's the biggest thing you learned on The Apprentice? What was it? And I said, well, it was this. I said, it was funny. It didn't come from Trump. It actually came from Mark Burnett. And we were standing there

and they were prepping for a shot one day outside of Trump World Tower, which is where they set up and give us a task and the production's there and everybody's going. And it was just kind of a cluster, right? You could just tell, like the cranes,

like this wasn't working. You could tell the jibs weren't, something wasn't right. And it seems like everything was falling apart and the crew, and Burnett was there. So the crew's all freaking out and they're running around with their hair on fire because he could be a hard guy to deal with.

And Kristen Kirchner, who was on the show with me, as Burnett goes storming by, she says to him, she goes, tread water today, aren't you, Mark? Right. And this dude just turned around on a dime and looked right at her and didn't even think. And he just said, I don't tread water. I swim and just went back to work. And I was like, wow. And I thought, you know, that lesson in itself was so powerful for me because it was like, you know, so much of my life, I just kind of felt I was drifting along with the current.

You know, you're just kind of drifting along, man. Just kind of, just kind of, hey man, wherever the wind takes me, you know what I mean? Let's see which way this flows. And, and, and it's really easy to get stuck in that life. I mean, whether you're, you're in hospitality, when, when I was stuck in that life for a mean, whether you're in hospitality, when I was stuck in that life for a long time, when you make your money, and then at the end of the shift, we shut down, and then everybody goes to the bar,

and then wash, repeat the next day. You know what I mean? Cash, tip everybody out. Yeah, tip everybody, and it's the next day. And it's so easy to get caught in that cycle of self-inflicted mediocrity. It's so easy to do. So I wanted to write a book kind of

chronicling some of the stories from my life and some of the things I've seen from other people on how to escape the drift is essentially what the book is called. And the first chapter that I really want to talk about today is about where it all starts and ends for me, which is honesty. And I think honesty is something that I find to be one of the most important virtues that it's very easy as a child or as a young person to be in a circumstance that it becomes repetitive and easy to not tell the truth for whatever reason. And you kind of get caught in the cycle of doing that. And once you start that, it's very difficult to break that cycle. And I think it's about not only being honest with others, but if you're not honest with other people, it prohibits you from being honest with yourself. Sure. I mean, I think that's

just where it all begins and ends for me. And so today we're going to talk about was, is honesty. I want to talk about some of the things that you guys may have done in your life where you felt you weren't honest and why that might have been. And then I consider both of you guys to be pretty honest. I mean, Chris, you're a lawyer, so you're as honest as you can be. Oh, we'll talk about that. We'll talk about that. We'll talk about what that means and what I define honesty as because-

Which I find that interesting as well. It's like Lefty from Donnie Brasco. He's like, Donnie, even when I lie, tell the truth, you know, you know, whatever,

just that whole thing about, I don't lie. Lying to me is a refuge for the weak. You know, I think if you lie, Hey, where were you? I was at the Smiths when you were at the Albertsons.

I don't care what it is. If you lie, you're just a very uninteresting human being. Well, you said, you said at one point on the podcast you said people that lie don't have the ability to properly frame the truth to come up with a more interesting truth or whatever right and you say oh you know i was out i mean it's

true right so vagueness and things and when you're advocating for people you always want to kind of neuter the bad facts and accentuate the good facts right but you never lie because if i'm before a judge one time and they catch me lying yeah oh you're done but i'm not just done for that judge this is a small community lawyers talk if you go up there one attorney personal injury attorney in town was called a weasel by a supreme court judge or by a ninth circuit court judge or something called a weasel. Like you're a weasel. And you know what that means.

I've caught you in a lie, you little weasel. And that's a judge on a bench. I couldn't believe it. The quorum I thought was a little. I'm like, even if a judge got you, there's a way to. Were you on the other side? No, no, no. Like I'm saying these things circulate. Oh, I'm sure.

Especially that. Everybody's heard about it. So at the end of the day, you don't lie. I've never lied to a judge. Right. What I've done is advocated for my client, which I'm hired to do because hopefully I'm clever enough to do that better than my own dumb client would be if they lied. People will lie. The average person, you put them in front of a court.

Oh, I didn't get that notice. It's like, sir, I have your signature here. Well, that's not my signature. We have a drone footage of you doing it Oh, well, that's uh, my cousin. He looks like me, you know, they lie and then they get buried in that lie And it's just it's the end of it Where is a kid did either one of you guys have it you would you call an issue with this or would know you didn't you? Didn't I never not a mission. My about, Colt? My dad had a rule. What was the rule? Don't talk back to your mother.

Don't do something behind my back. He had three rules. Don't talk back to your mother. Don't do something behind my back you wouldn't do in front of my face, which is a bullshit rule, and I've told him that after the fact. That's a bullshit rule. My kid's going to do stuff behind my back, and I need them to go do it to learn. But anyway, the third one is just don't lie to me.

If you did something, let's figure it out and he wouldn't like i didn't come home to a beating if something went bad you know so just don't lie to me and we'll figure it out yep my dad my dad said the same thing he's like you could kill somebody tell me the truth just don't lie to me it's gonna be worse right way worse i mean as a kid i can remember it wasn't a kid probably like later on, you know, teenage years. I lied about one thing, but it is to, because it would have wrecked somebody else's life, right? So that's one time. But no, my family used to just sit there and say, tell the truth, you know?

And it's true, right? Like you tell the truth, yeah, you might get in some trouble, but you get caught lying. It's a lot worse, you know? Yeah. Col, but you get caught lying, it's a lot worse. Cooper has a good point, though. What's that? He goes, I lied to prevent somebody else's life from being ruined. In that instance, I'm 100%. If somebody asks you a question on your business, like a personal question, hey, did this person tell you this?

It's none of their business. I'm now at the age where I don't care. I just say, that's none of their business. I'm now at the age where I don't care. I just say, that's none of your business. Now I'm at the level and age where I can confidently tell you that's none of your business. Don't even ask me. You leave out facts, right?

I leave out facts all the time. There's none of your business. That's what my mom used to be like, God damn it, you're so sneaky. I'm like, I'm not sneaky. Just ask me directly. Stop asking me questions that are none of your business. Here's the thing.

I find that with me as a kid, snakey just stop asking questions that are none of your business here here's the thing like i find that like with me as a kid like it wasn't it wasn't lying to stay out of trouble that's not that's not the kind of lying that i'm talking about it was it was feeling the need to lie to belong and this is something that started when i was a very young kid man i mean you know my parents got divorced and you know when i was a young kid as you man. I mean, you know, my parents got divorced. And, you know, when I was a young kid, as you know, as at least 50% of the people listening to this tap to you as well. And, you know, there should be a, there should be a rule somewhere that says you should not divorce a Southern lawyer in a small Southern town.

It's just a really stupid plan. It's unwritten somewhere. Yeah, it's unwritten somewhere. But my mom did not exactly do great in the divorce. And part of the settlement was, you know, we got to keep the house in the nicest neighborhood of my small Southern town. Uh, but there's no money, you know what I mean? So here we are, you know, you're, you're, you're starting out in life and you're already like posing, you know what I mean? It's already like, I'm hanging out with all the rich kids,

but I ain't got two nickels to scrub together. We live in a country club. So you just wind up making shit up to try to just fit in, which is just stupid. Dave Chappelle did the same thing. What's that? Dave Chappelle. He's like, I'm not from the hood. You guys just all assume that. He goes, I was just a broke guy in middle class.

But I think a lot of people did. As a kid, I't really do go through that because everything i was tied to was sports related you can't lie about sports right you can't be like oh i made 10 touchdowns no he didn't we watched the game you know that's actually that's a really good point i most of my life focused around sports and not the social yeah so i didn't i didn't have to try to impress people because where i'm from people didn't have stuff. Yeah. Like really, looking back on it, you look at some of the wealth,

just the picture, the things you've done and seen and experienced yourself, that level of wealth didn't exist where I'm from. If you're a lawyer or a doctor in my town, you were rich. You were rich, but there was a dozen of you. There wasn't a lot of you. And when you're a lawyer in a small town, you're getting paid the wages. You're getting paid the hourly fees of people in that town.

So I guarantee you in Mulberry, I don't think attorney's fees are 400 an hour. I don't think they were. Yeah, I mean, again, but I think a lot of people do this. I think so. I know they do. The reason I said I didn't because I tied so much to tied so much to sports right well look don't get me wrong i see there was some there was also some lies along the way to keep my ass out of trouble i mean we were laughing of course if

you have siblings and you're older i love the fact that when you get with your parents sometimes and you start outing each other over shit you did when you were younger um like your early 30s oh no no like like 20s early 30s you can start outing stuff the best one i had the best one i had was was i was making fun of my sister for something she did i remember in front of my mom and i don't know maybe she took acid went to a dead show or something who knows what it was right and uh and we're outing this in front of my mom and i was like really, well, really, mom? At least I never caused you to commit insurance fraud. I was like, I'm sorry, what? What was that?

What's the statute of limitations on that before we go any further? Yeah, no, I'm pretty sure I've looked it up and whatever, but it's not there. But I don't know if I've told you guys this story or not, but I'm telling you now. So what happened was when I was 12 years old, me and my friend Corey Daigle, who's since deceased, so I guess I would have to take the heat on this one. My own is the Statue of Limitation, not up, but we're playing match flick in our house, which is where you take the box of kitchen matches

and you flick them at each other and they light in the air. We're playing this game in my house and all of a sudden there's a knock at the door and I'm like, oh, who's that? And we had these big heavy wooden doors on the front of the house and we're always a bitch to open, like the lock didn't work, right? And anyway, so I go to the door, I'm trying, oh, who's that? And we had these big, heavy wooden doors on the front of the house. And we're always a bitch to open. Like, the lock didn't work, right?

And anyway, so I go to the door. I'm trying to open the door. And Corey starts hitting me in the back of the shoulder. He's like, bro, bro, bro, bro. And I turn around. And the living room's on fire. Like, the drapes are on fire. The couch is on fire.

The carpet's on fire. I'm like, the room was on fire, right? Like you see in the movies with the smoker. Like, backdraft going up the wall movies with the smoke, like it's like, like backdraft going up the wall. Right. I'm like, holy shit. So I'm yelling the house is on fire.

It's on fire. It's on fire. So anyway, these, the guys that came to the house were, were to soup, you know, call them North Florida, juvenile delinquents, whoever they were. And the 16, 17 year old range who had come, they were doing a car wash. My sister was, and these guys were coming to our house to get another bucket and a hose. And so anyway, they came in,

they put the fire out, right? But I'm looking at the couch, it's burned, the carpet's burned, the house smells like smoke. I'm like, what the fuck? What am I gonna do? Electrical fire. And the guy goes, he goes,

all right, I can get you two knuckleheads out of this. You just gotta disappear for like an hour and a half and then come back in like an hour and a half. All right, man, you're gonna get me out of this. You just got to disappear for like an hour and a half and then come back in like an hour and a half. All right, man, you're going to get me out of it. No problem. I'm gone. So we walked down the golf course and we walked down towards the lake and we just hang out

there for a minute and they come walking back up and we walk up and there's like four police cars in my house. I'm like, what is going on? Right? So I'm walking up the house. I notice are, and this is like back in the day dude i mean even this is like mid early 80s but even still art or like hi-fi or stereo whatever it was it's probably from like 19 it's like 1969 right it's like one giant solid unit and it's laying

outside and our whatever crappy tv is laying outside and i I'm like, what's going on? And the cops are like, I'm walking up. I'm like, what's going on? And there's, you know, my sister's friends sitting there and the cop, you know, that, that crack police force from my hometown is like, you know what? Uh, two guys broke into your house and, uh, we're stealing this stuff. And these two gentlemen came up and caught him in the act. They took off fleeing, but you know, we've heard about this where they set the house on fire to cover their tracks classic isn't that my mom pulls up and she's like oh my god we got robbed and i'm like oh we got robbed and i guess insurance covered like everything you never told her that mandy told her but it was like 35 mandy told her so

snitch me out yeah she snitched me out so yeah there was that so there was definitely times when you know so you maybe didn't start off with the most honest track record yeah yeah yeah no when you're a kid though you're not you know you're doing to save your own ass it's survival yeah it's it's cya i don't know that that that's even i don't know that you can expect a kid who doesn't have a fully formed prefrontal cortex to be that honest because it's like oh i screwed up you're you're uh yeah that was that was dead you set your house on fire that's dead i mean but thinking back on it what would happen if one of your kids accidentally set your house on fire i mean you're not gonna beat him to death no you just be like you're an idiot but you're 12

but okay you're 12 you've just done this there's any opportunity for redemption standing in front of you in the form of 16-year-old juvenile delinquent telling you they're going to look for you. You take the door. But there's a difference between being – like you're not a dishonest person. Right. You weren't screwing your mom over by lying, right? No. No. And it's like you're trying to save yourself.

The built-in – that's why people are dishonest in a lot of ways, right? It's survival instincts. Yeah. I don't want to lose what I have. I don't want to face the music. Okay, there you go. If there's a way out, why would I face the music when there's a way out, right? Right.

Now, when you're 12, you don't sit there and go, oh, I'm a pillar to my community. If I lose my integrity at 12. Who gets it? At 12. I mean, you have no integrity at 12. Yeah, but I think probably then. I mean, there was, again, trying to keep up with the Joneses and keep up with stuff.

Dude, that was a habit I was in for a long time. But you know what? I think I talked to my wife. We talk about this not a lot, but quite a bit. I mean, growing up like you did, I don't want to say it's harder than growing up like you did i don't want to say it's it's harder than growing up like in true poverty but that's it's really hard because let's clarify i know but i mean mentally because like my wife grew up in pure poverty and she sat there and she'll go well no new anybody

you don't know there was nobody out there that was like balling had a new car like everybody was walking everybody was poor you didn't expect everybody's poor so you're around other poor people so you didn't know what you didn't have right where if you grow up like that you see everybody i remember i remember everybody getting rollerblades and like i want rollerblades my mom's like i don't have money for that comparison is the thief of joy oh yeah comparison is the thief of joy when you grow up with all that right when you grow up with hey why does this guy have this right it's it's offensive to you as a kid you go why i want that i was thinking about that today one of my favorite quotes is there's somebody out there in the world that would literally murder you know multiple

people for your life for your life right and it's hard to remember that because you lose perspective because you get used to it you habituate to it we were just right before you got here because he'd never seen it i was showing cult the cages that people live in in hong kong for 300 bucks american a month and it's literally on the kowloon side yeah a cage stacked up on other cages and people rent these like it's a cage it's they call them cage homes for 275 bucks american a month it's crazy just because the way that it is but yeah you're right People would kill for anything that you have. And you always think that you're in a disadvantage here. But I think that's a good lesson.

If you're somebody out there that finds yourself trying to keep up with the Joneses doing that, understand, I mean, what is the Joneses, man? Most people are probably kind of full of shit about what they're doing anyway. So, I mean, because the problem is social media. You're looking at that. Which, dude, I cannot even imagine if I was in that situation in this day and age, like I would have been 10 times worse as I am. I just would have been, which is crazy.

And what do you guys ever tell a lie? And it was just a, you probably could have got away with it, but you thought you were going to get burned. So you outed yourself. I would never do that. Yeah, of course. I'll tell you mine. You can tell me yours.

Oh no, here's'll tell you mine. You can tell me yours. No, no. Here's mine. Oh, no. Here's mine. So this is the worst, I think. This is when you start asking yourself, maybe I shouldn't be doing this. Maybe I should do this. So me and my buddy, Jesse Lamb, when I was in high school, we sneaked these two girls

out of their house and brought them back over to my dad's house. Whatever. Harmless high school. Kid, we sneak these two girls out of their house and brought them back over to my dad's house or whatever harmless high school, you know, kids stuff, whatever. And, uh, anyway, so we go drop them off at, I'd call it three 30, four 30 in the morning, whatever it was. And as we were pulling out of their neighborhood in my car, a truck comes out of nowhere and runs me off the road, right? Deliberately runs me off the road and two large redneck fathers jump out of the said truck and two boys should drop off two girls right there yes no no yes we better follow us back over to the falls back over there okay so for whatever reason we follow them back to the house we're now all of the families are out there, right? It's a wedding. The girls are nowhere to be found

and all of the families are there. And I'm like, ah, man, I'm like, so I'm freaking out, right? Because I'm actually pretty, I'm a pretty decent kid, I guess. Jesse's, he's a juvenile delinquent, I guess you'd call him that. So the dude comes over,

get out of the car, get out of the car. I'm like, stay in the car, stay in the car, stay in the car, call the law. car. I'm like, stay in the car, stay in the car, stay in the car. Call the law. And the dude kicks my headlight in. Like one of the fathers kicks my headlamp in. And he goes, stay in the car. And Jesse goes, fuck you, I'm getting out of the car.

And so I'm like, stay in the car, stay in the car. He gets out of the car. And the guy's like, you want to go? And he's like, dude, I'm a minor. His dad's an attorney. You want to hit me? I'll sue you for everything you got. And he's like, dude, I'm a, he's like, I'm a minor. His dad's an attorney. You want to hit me? I'll see you for everything you got. And I'm like, oh God, oh God, oh God, oh God.

So the cops come, right? The sheriff comes because they call the sheriff. Sheriff comes middle of the night. I really like this. Unbelievable. Apparently you've never been to a small like a North. Basically, basically, basically the sheriff, every trio no the sheriff comes and we're sitting in the car and he goes uh he goes let me see your id and i was handing my id and he just looks like

this he goes your dad the lawyer and i went yeah he is and he goes i'm gonna see your dad tomorrow in the courthouse i'm gonna going to tell him all about this. But what is – Hang on. Because at first he goes, you boys contributed to the delinquency of a minor. And Jesse's like, I'm a minor. We're not contributing to the delinquency of anybody. How can minors contribute to the delinquency of other minors? You got waterway.

You got nothing, right? Exactly. So anyway, he goes, I'm going to see your dad tomorrow at the courthouse. I'm going to tell him all about this. I'm like, shit. So I go home. Wake up, dad. Dad's got something to tell you blah blah blah blah blah and he grounded me and just took my car away whatever else but i tell you this my dad relished in the next probably two

months of every day coming home and saying nobody told me anything another day he didn't hear anything because the guy never told him yeah oh really i dropped the dime on myself like i totally would have beat that charge but i ended up coming clean because i was so terrified if you heard it from the cop instead of hearing it see this see you know it's like at the end of the day you know nothing you did is illegal i know this but it's just so funny like when you go you're 16 and there's a cop and and that's the whole thing like i try to talk to my daughter about what laws are and she'll she'll say things like oh uh blah blah blah and i'm like honey the law is like a lock it's only for honest people it only hurts people with something to lose right right and so well you will you watch a first 48 those guys all they do is rat on themselves. It's like, stop. They call on themselves. You mean shotgun Steve used the shotgun?

It wasn't me. No, they do. It wasn't me. Oh, well, we have somebody else in the room. Okay, well, this is what happens. Like, stop telling on yourself. So was there a time you got caught, Colt? I would say I used to get caught really bad in my early 20s with girls.

They'd always just catch me in lies. Yeah. That was. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Parameters. Of course, Colt tells the story. they'd always just catch me in lies yeah that was hold on hold on hold on parameters but like of course of course colt tells the story you know you want like 15 girlfriends i mean that was such a problem for me no so the biggest lie i got caught in is well honestly i really like i

said i didn't really say lies because my parents forced us into that like we'll get you out of trouble do not lie to us and we'd say stupid shit and you get into that like we'll get you out of trouble do not lie to us and we'd say stupid and you get grounded but like we had a guy german guy that i swear he's like german special forces next to us he would tell everything that happened so he couldn't lie that guy would just sit down and smoke cigars on his front yard and tell you my parents everything that happened so you never lied to him but one time uh i was just starting to date yvette my wife and she wanted to hang out and i was with these two other we need to call a vet fighter with the statute of limitations on this story this story she'll tell you so i these two other girls these two other

girls that um that she did not care for right didn't like me hanging out with and they want to go gamble and play poker and that's who i'd go play poker with i'm like all right so event calls and goes hey let's uh let's hang out i go ah i'm super tired getting ready to go bed i go oh shit i think i left my phone charger at the office you know love you going to bed blah blah playing poker you're at the love stage yeah yeah and i love you oh we're just hanging out love you sweetheart i'll see you at home make sure you tuck the kids in so she calls and she's like where are you and i'm like hurry my phone's about to die i'm sleeping what's up and i was snuck off into the a private room behind the poker room and she goes

really because i'm sitting on your bed and i'm like oh shit so security's coming up to me trying to kick me out of this place i'm trying to uh save my relationship that's just starting they're threatening to spray me with mace because they're trying to get me out of this designated room it was a disaster but that was the biggest lie i got caught in oh that's like she was sitting on my bed like oh you're sleeping where are you sleeping that's not good what about you connell oh you know the one time where honesty paid off oh no i'll give you one because like i'm trying to think about you can't say which times did you lie to your you know a woman yeah you can't i mean that's basically that's how we communicate

that's how we propagate what's what's wrong yeah yeah what's wrong nothing nothing no it's like it's constantly you can't be dishonest but you're constantly lying right yeah what are you thinking nothing it's like i'm thinking about like great i wish i could go back and be a high school football here like that's what i'm thinking i don't. I don't want to burden you with my problem. Lots of times where that kind of stuff happens. Like I said, our species would be down to 30 people. Men and women didn't lie to each other. It was just never.

And they'd all just be complete psychos. So people would have no filter on them. So one time I was working security my first day at a job i was 18 i was working security and they're like yeah here's your security shirt go work security at 7-eleven outside one of the rowdiest country bars where i'm from like you now work security there when you say country is this like canadian country or like you gotta remember can colter wall like Like that guy's from Saskatchewan. Yeah, that's true.

I mean, you talking about Canada, Saskatchewan, Alberta, Montana. It's just all countries. It's a swath till Texas. Those are people that want to fight. Mexico's countries. They want to fight. And they drink and they fight. And they're like northern countries.

You don't want to fight them. They don't want to fight. So this job, tell me if you think this is a uh training practice and policies procedure you know manual like here's your whistle like here's your shirt go work security so it's like okay i put on steel toe boots it's the only boots i had and i go work security this guy picks a fight with the purse at 7-eleven i'm like hey i think i'm security hey you get out of here. He's like, what are you going to do about it? So I'm like, oh, you get out of here. I'm going to blow this whistle they gave me.

So this guy squares up with me. Squares up with me in the 7-Eleven. And I'm making 48 pesos an hour or whatever. Like nothing. Like just not making anything. I don't know what it was. Six bucks, seven bucks an hour or something. Right.

And this guy squares up with me. And I just catch him. and i just catch him and i just punch him and drop him and i start kicking him when he's down with steel toe boots on just one of those things like i'm in a fight i'm kicking this guy it's on camera in the middle of a 7-eleven and i am just like i'm mad now i'm just it's no longer about a job this guy's trying to pick a fight with me hammered drunk and throw him outside and he's freaking out smashes the glass in the store now it's a whole thing right so i all of a sudden come to i'm like i just kicked the shit out of this guy with steel toe boots on i'm like that's the dumb i knew better i should have known better so i go to the police station make a report

myself just be like i need to get ahead of this right like i need to get ahead of this immediately and again like you said never heard another word about it because i had the filed report i was the one that was the same thing yeah you went so honesty is the best policy when you're really not being a piece of shit like you know i mean if you're oh you know what i heard i heard listen to this story i'm not gonna say names i heard a good story i heard a story no not this one no no no no no i heard this story at the tailgate. I don't think you were there yet. Okay.

The story came out of the tailgate that somebody that we know, this happened to them. And look, man, I've been mad. Look, if you've seen from my Never Ending War with Chili's, I can lose it sometimes. You can hold a grudge. I can hold a little grudge, right? In about a year. Apparently, during one of the preseason games, somebody that we know came out to the parking lot and their car had been door dinged by a car next to them. At which point they took it upon themselves, apparently, to kick this person's door in.

Like, massive dent on it. What they did not realize is all of the poles in the parking lots around the stadium have cameras on them. They look them up. They find them on the camera. They figure out who he is. They pulled his season tickets and banned him for life yep so let that be a lesson to you yourselves always on do let that be no but let that be a lesson if you spend all that money on psls they can't take it the way and they will and they will so so i i'm not going to get into the details of this similar somebody we know somebody you know who knows somebody okay they um last year put a post up on instagram

at the raiders game you know unvaxed at the raiders game. Oh, wow. I got banned for that? So we worked it out. Okay. Sorry. We worked it out. Oh, sorry. And we had to show evidence that it was not a true statement. It was just supposed to be funny. Right.

And we had to work it out. Wow. But it was like PSL's gone. Ticket's gone. Like nuclear. Zero nuclear option. Nuclear option. I think people need to realize that.

And it was just like, 50 grand, 40 grand. Did you reach your PSL agreement? I did not. Well, I'm just, like, you know, I just buy the tickets. I don't get in fights in the studio. But true, but true. But did you, I had no idea they could just nuke you like that. Oh, they can't.

You don't own it. Remember, you and I talked about something. I thought about that the other day, what a great idea was that would have been if you could have pulled it off right we don't need to talk about what it is but john had this really great idea about maybe some arbitrage opportunity and it didn't work out because you know certain yeah i think legal issues or whatever but uh still a great idea and you look at it now and you go, those things are very expensive. Yeah.

They're ridiculously expensive. And to imagine someone could just take 50 grand out of your pocket. We would have killed it. We would have killed it. My idea. I don't think we would have got banned from the stadium. That's the problem. You know, as it goes along.

But, you know, I think that if you're somebody out there that, you know, that tells I can tell you the moment I stopped doing it. The moment I decided I was done keeping up with the Joneses. I was just done with it. It was this moment. And it was funny because I perceived this as one of the worst moments of my life. This is what I, literally when it happened, in the second that it happened, it was like you would have thought my entire world collapsed. And this is the moment. So again, you get to a point when you start working and you just get to a certain level in what you do that people just start to assume things about you. Right. And I had, cause I did briefly, you know, step foot on the floor of state university, get a joint of return. You

can do those things. I did do those those things but i in no way like had any type of decent academic career or even came remotely close to getting a college degree but i always told everybody at that time in my early 20s late 20s whatever that i'd gone that i'd gone to school and i'd finished school i told everybody that well you did finish school see yeah i just to me i didn't with a degree not in their definition of how it finished but i told everybody that well you did finish school see yeah i just to me i didn't with a degree not in their definition of how it finished but i told everybody that because i thought it was so important that everybody think that about me and so i get on the apprentice right and they don't really tell us the pretense of what's happening and i'll never forget this i was sitting in the boardroom the very first day we're filming, right? We're sitting there and Trump's laying it out.

And he's like, this season is book smarts versus school smarts. All of these people over here have a college degree. And all of these people over here are just high school. And I'm like sitting in that chair while they're fucking filming. And I'm like, holy shit. My life just completely fell apart because i've told all of these people that i know whether i told them whether i allowed them to believe it whether i allowed them to assume all of these things i'm just crumbling in my chair i'm like i'm furious

that would be pretty it was bad it was a startling thing and there's cameras running and everything else but here's the here's the lesson in this people here's the lesson nobody gave a shit something that i built so high up in my mind right nobody cared so there's probably somebody listening to this that you're probably fucking holding something back or you've got something that you're allowing people to believe or you're puffing yourself to be bigger than you are or you're doing stuff, it doesn't fucking matter because nobody's taking notes on you. People are so consumed with themselves, they're not even listening to the shit coming out of your mouth. Oh, greatest thing you can learn in life.

I tell that my kids when they get, oh, I've got a big school project I've got to get up and speaking in front of people, I'm like, cool, nobody's listening to you. They're all worried about they have to go up and speak next so go up first and get it out because no one will even listen to you but that's that's the truth like when i first moved to vegas the guy uh ken was doing some work with and everything kept going you need to lie about how old you are you need to lie how long you you been here? I go, no, why? I've been doing this since 18 years old. If they don't like me now at 25 years old, that's their problem, right? Like other people trust me in that.

Why am I going to lie how long I've been here? Like there's LinkedIn, there's all this stuff. Like I'm not going to go switch stuff out because you will eventually get caught. Like especially if you do clients that long, you know, they're going to say, oh, I remember this girl when I turned 30 he's like you're only 30 i thought you turned 30 like eight years ago right you know it's what you talk about when you say that nobody cares literally nobody cares other than your friends who hopefully want the best for you anyway yeah and who would forgive you if you know like let's say they won't even care about something but they

don't care but it's just like they break your chops or you'll do whatever and guys oh look at this guy oh mr uh college graduate over here nobody cares literally nobody cares about you other than your very closest family your closest friends you know and your closest friends like it's shocking though once you realize because Because sit there. This is what I did. And you go, who are you thinking about right now? Yeah. Are you thinking about that guy over here, this guy? And I'm sitting there going, you know, you're so worried about going out in public.

And, oh, my God, what if I have this bad haircut? Oh, my God, you know, my hair's thinning. Oh, my God, you know, all these things. And at the end of the day, people gun to your head will probably have no idea that you know and it's and it's so and i think the big reason for the puff is social media and i see people do it all the time and it just doesn't like i'll see it and people like i know people that are really good at shit right that are really really really successful and they still for some reason feel the need to puff themselves up and i

don't understand why i don't understand it so let me let me tell you something that's going to be kind of a shocking um piece of trivia good this is on a true or false question okay true or false got it for cult or for me don't think don't reverse that call it go go go anorexia is at similar rates today than it was in the 1600s are the rates high in the 1600s or bad 1700s false 1800s false 1900 it's consistent over time yeah same consistent it's same consistent now social media before social media after social media we get this thing because we you know it's different than when we grow up but we had that thing that heathers right yeah heathers happened before social media and that was the most mean girl shit ever right right you think about we're not that different than our parents generation

we're more sophisticated we know more right we have so much more access to information but we're not any different at literally a cellular level at a socialization level things don't change from a socialization you know level that fast you know your grandfather was out trying to get girls and drive around do the same dumb shit you did right you don't realize that as a kid and then when you have kids you realize oh shit my parents didn't know what they were doing either but my but my point is this my point like maybe anorexia is a little bit of a social outlier. What I'm talking about is I think it's made it okay to puff. You look at dudes that go rent cars for the day and lay on top of a Lamborghini and say, oh, I start an e-com store and this is my car.

There's no reason to do that. You can lie about it easier. For example, I know a guy that's really good at what he does. He's in the tech space. And he made a comment somewhere along the lines that he says, you know, and it was like, if you could just do basic math, you could do this. It was talking about like e-com stores or whatever. And he was like, I've been doing this for 10 years.

I've done this, you know, I've spun up X amount of stores. And if you do the math, it was like 460 of them like a year so i'm like you're spinning two of these up a day from the day you started to today every single day like it doesn't even make any sense right right and it's like people just don't even take the time to look at that and say how real is that so the point the point is the point is if you're somebody that is good at something there's no you don't need to inflate it. Just be good at what you do. Because if he would have said, hey, I've done 200 online stores. That's fucking impressive.

And they're making X. You'd be like, damn, that's 20 stores a year. Dude, that's good, man. That's a lot. And they're all making money. That's great. There's no reason to puff with some crazy number. Eight jillion stores.

Who cares? And people, they do that they just puff i was on a phone call with a guy trying to sell me some stuff today i go i'll be real honest like for this business over here i don't have that capital yet to be throwing that kind of stuff give me the base minimum i'll look at it blah blah blah and he goes thanks he goes this is you 30 minutes of people lying to me about how much money they're making. I go, dude, we just started like eight months ago. I don't have that kind of capital to throw. He goes, I want to have lunch with you.

And I go, why? He goes, I make at least 600 calls a year about this, and it's for a big local thing. He goes, they all sit there for 30 minutes. Oh, well, maybe, maybe, maybe. He goes, you're just straight up straight up said no i don't have the money for it and i go there's no need to lie lying never hurt helps anything it hurts right i mean you can sit there and say oh i'm going to tell you a little white lie about oh if you tell

me is this shirt stupid i say yeah it's whatever it but is that helping you no it's not right like no i mean lying but never are we focusing on too much on lying as opposed to because i think when you talk about it we're gonna shift to honesty that's the point we're gonna shift to that now because i wanted to talk we talked about 41 minutes all of the things that built up and the problems that that causes and i think a lot of people you know they're stuck in the drift if you look at the oh you know if they're stuck in the drift and you look at the oh fuck moments they're constantly having in their life, a lot of it's because they're not just lying to other people, but they're lying to themselves. And they're setting themselves up for failure by not being honest with themselves.

And I think that is a huge issue. I mean, for me, like I said, the apprenticing was a big deal for me. And I think when that happened and it was all sudden like, oh God, you know, and then, and then, and I felt like that was in the fact that it didn't have long lasting repercussions. And it's so funny now. It's so funny now because every time I have to go to a deposition or something, every time I go, you know, the attorney in his gotcha moments, I was like, Hmm, did you attend Florida state university? I'm like, I attended my, my fraternity

in Florida state university. That was the extent of my education. And I'm just, you know, and they're just like, Oh, well, I'm not going to have that one. You know, but it's just that moment. And there's times when, when you, when you're up against it, dude. And like, for me in the last couple of years, the thing that was really the hardest for me was when we were doing all the vac fund stuff, right? And all those problems came out of it. And my involvement in that, as far as what the construction and the defects, I didn't make any of those plans. I didn't decide what was going to get fixed. I didn't decide the budgets on that stuff. I didn't decide any of it. But yet when my partner jerks off to whereverville, hauls ass and leaves all those problems with

me and I wind up defending five lawsuits. And me. And you. Literally, and you. But I wind up defending all these lawsuits as the last man standing. And then one day I'm sitting here, I'm at work, and the front desk lady calls and says, you know, channel six. Actually, I'm not here.

She calls me and says, channel six investigates us here. And I was like, holy shit. And it was one of the plaintiffs. And I'm like, here I am. I've spent 10 years or eight years. Yeah, I guess it was nine years at this point of blood, sweat, and tears building Simply Vegas into this incredible brand. And now because of some bullshit with a house that I had nothing to do with, I'm going to have the news out here filming my company and burying our brand. And it was terrifying. And I was like,

you know, all I could do was, you know, I called him up and I said, yeah, I'll give an interview. I did it over at Van's office. And I was like, and I just said, look, I'm not responsible, but I am accountable. Obviously I'm here. I'm working through this. We've been trying to fix this for two years i have no knowledge of any of this but i'm trying to make it right and we ended up settling the case in the long run but the fact that they tried to drag me down that was some terrifying shit it was one of those moments when it's like you can't squirm you can't that's not in this day that is a scary thing right now such an aside though when you think about how people think others are going to get their comeuppance. Yeah.

It used to. I'm going to call Channel 6. Now, if you told some 23-year-old, they'd be like, who? Yeah. Exactly. Yeah, but social media and the internet, it's made it real easy to kill somebody's business. But it's very easy to lie on social media, too. For sure.

And you talk about honesty. How do you remain honest and have integrity right in in the jungle well i think that you know that's that's the key to it too it's is honesty is so tied to integrity it is so intertwined with that intertwined with that it really really is um i think and honestly who gives a shit what everybody thinks about you if you start lying to yourself that's when you're not going to succeed. And like John said, like start being honest with yourself. You want to know somebody that's got like anxiety or stuff

because they're in their mind being honest with themselves, right? And they're getting upset with stuff or whatever. When you start being honest with yourself, like you always joke, what's one thing you'll never do? And it's like, well, I'll do anything, right? No, no, I will not cold call. You know what I mean? And I've been working on finding somebody to cold call for me.

But if I'm going to lie to myself going, I'll cold call, I'll cold assault, that'll never help me. No, that's why so many people get stuck is because they start setting unrealistic goals for themselves and they start setting goals with action plan steps that they are never going to accomplish because they are not, they're not within their comfort zone or they just like you just said, if you wrote it, if you were in a business plan and it said, I'm going to call call on Tuesdays and Thursdays and you already know you're not going to, you're stupid. And there's a really difficult thing that happens there because sometimes achieving your goals or changing your outlook or changing your future involves doing things that you don't want to do. And so if you are in one of the situations where your escape is through a process that you don't enjoy.

My advice for you, if you want a good piece of advice, is get around other people that do enjoy that process. Because when you start seeing others do it, you get around it with regularity, things change for you. I couldn't agree with that more. I think when people have good partners, because one's shake, one's big,

and they don't do the same thing. You're not complimentary. You're complimentary. You're not that similar. It's funny. John and I were talking a long time ago, and he goes, you know why I really like this guy, Chris? Because I asked him a question.

He said, I don't know. Like you were taken aback when the guy didn't bloviate. It keeps you out of trouble, too. Because you're like, hey, what's hey what's it I don't know no idea explain to me what you just said there yeah I don't know what that word is I just had that last uh Friday two attorneys on the phone with I'm trying to sell this gold mine oh about gold and I sat there I'm like do I need to know what that means they're like no no okay do I need to know what that means? They're like, no, no. Okay. Do I need to know what that means? I don't know what that means. Yeah, it means this.

Okay. So then we should put this in contract. Like if I just sat there and pretend like, oh yeah, yeah. These guys were putting together deals with the minerals and stuff that I had not a clue what they're talking about. Yeah. Well, I think so many people are just not honest with themselves about where they are. Right.

About what their situation. You know, they think, you know, because it's so funny, man. I think about my life when I was kind of, as I call it, stuck in that drift. Right. And I think about the movie Two for the Money with Al Pacino when he was a gambler. I know you hated it. It's fine. But here's the scene in that movie.

There's two things that I always think about in that movie. One of them is the Doors movie when Val Kilmer says, I'm like a poet trapped in the body in that movie. There's two things that I always think about in that movie. One of them is the Doors movie, when Val Kilmer says, I'm like a poet trapped in the body of a clown that always seems to screw up at the biggest moments. But then I think about the Al Pacino movie, where he goes to the Gammer's Anonymous thing, and he says, you're not addicted to gambling, you're addicted to losing,

because you never feel more alive than when you're on the razor's edge trying to figure out how to save your ass. And I feel a lot, a lot of kinship to those two statements when at that period of my life. I feel a lot of that. Like, oh, fuck, you know, how am I going to get out of this? And it was kind of a rush to get out of it. The friends of Eddie Coyle. Yeah.

To bail yourself out of those terrible situations. So if you're somebody that has a lot of the situations, maybe ask yourself, do I kind of enjoy this in a weird, perverted, odd way? Because maybe you do. That's a really good point about being honest with yourself. How many people are addicted to conflict? Oh, wow.

Have you ever met people that just everyone else is an idiot? Every single person our friend Scott dates. I was going to say, I don't mean like I'm not trying to rag on Scott, but the majority, like those girls love conflict. Every single girl. And he doesn't give them conflict. And they hate it. They just thrive even more.

And I told them, I go, dude, they just thrive off of you listening to them and not saying nothing like this. Yeah, there's no pushback. He had a date this weekend. He sent her home. And he said, I think we would both be happier if you weren't here. listening to him and not saying nothing like this yeah there's no push i ate a date this weekend he sent her home yeah and he said i think we would both be happier if you weren't here oh my god i love that guy i was crying but people do some people love conflict some people like being sad right like you'll listen they thrive on time, how do you listen to that? I'd be crying if I listened to that.

I'm telling you, if your energy thrives on negativity, you're never going to get anywhere positive. You've got to start replacing. Or figure out a way to make money off of that. I don't know. Dude, and you've got to be honest. You've got to be honest about it. And I think so many people are not. We all know people that are happiest when they are unhappy.

We all know people that are happiest when they are mad. I mean, it's a weird deal. And it follows them. And you know who they are. You know when they are unhappy. We all know people that are happiest when they are mad. I mean, it's a weird deal. And it follows them. And you know who they are. You know who they are. And they're not honest with themselves. It's always somebody else's problem. And there's that whole thing.

If everybody on earth thinks you're wrong and you're an asshole, if you're the only person in the room that thinks you're right, you should probably find a room full of mirrors because it's just a big you problem. It's a problem. So I would say, again, be honest with what you're at.

And here's another one, man. I got to tell you. This is a question I love when people come to interview for the company here. And I like to ask this question, but just when I'm talking to them. And I'll ask them their financial goals. Like, what's your financial goal? And so many people will just throw a number out there. Like, I want to make $150,000.

I want to make $200,000, whatever it is. And then I ask them normally a question right behind it, and they cannot answer it. You know what that question is? What would you do with it? Why? Or why him? Why?

Why do you want that number? What's that number? And the reality of it is, it's just some magical bullshit number. They think $250,000 is a lot of money that's what i think i want they but they haven't been honest with themselves about why they want that and in the hard truth is most of them that say that are a lot not most but but a good portion of them that say that it's not even real because they would be ultimately happy with half as much money sure they just don't know so what they've done is they've thrown out a number that they haven't researched.

They don't know why they want that amount of money. I'm going to make a million this year. Yeah, they don't know why. But they wouldn't be happy with it. They have no idea why because – I did that with somebody. I did that with some people out of Utah. I go, okay, made X amount up here this month.

Would you guys be happy with that number for a yearly thing? Absolutely. I go, I know you would i know you'd be happy with a third of that for a yearly salary like let's get on the phone do it but they do they always just throw out oh i need this number i need this number and it's like no one can answer why i know exactly what i'm trying to get agent good salesperson good whatever it was they'll make it real like they'll make it real. Like they'll make it tangible. Yeah. Because if it's, if it's, you know, if it's something in the ether, it's impossible to wrap your mind around, right? You ask a question, why do you want a Rolls Royce? It's like, I don't know, really? Like, I mean, cause it's cool. I like it, but do you really want to think about

it? Do you want to pay, you know, $3,000 oil change? Do you want, it's like the more you do that stuff and you're honest with yourself, you come up with an honest answer but that takes it takes some questions right what's a no what number do people throw out i'm always curious with that i get a lot i get a lot of 200 i get a lot of 250 they want to make 250 250 and they think a lot and they don't know the answer to the question that surprises me because since i was 16 they say why do you want to make money it's like so i can buy real estate so i don't have to work. Yeah, but keep in mind, the answer for a lot of people when they say that number, especially here, is they know what the agents here make. So some of it is doing what I used to do, which is trying a lot to fit in.

Some of it like, oh, I'm going to be a baller too, so that's the number. Now, some of them are very well thought out and can tell you to the penny what they need that money for okay you know i mean so it's not just everybody that ever interviews for a job but it just when you see that it just shows that there's such a lack of self-awareness for what they're really saying and what they're doing like if you're having a problem with self-awareness or you can't figure out uh that puzzle for yourself about the why of what you do. Sometimes it's best to find mirrors to look at. And those mirrors can be other people. They can be your life, but you got to take a good hard look. I mean, like for example, why did I, you

know, now that I'm down 15 pounds, I'm still going, I'm two months into a, into this heavy workout, track your food, all of that stuff, all of those plans. Why did I do that? Because scrolling down my feed was that, that picture of the Instagram where it said, this dude was one of our clients and he came to us and he thought he needed to lose, you know, 25 pounds, but he really needed to lose 65 pounds. I'll send you like, Holy crap. I saw myself in that photo. Yeah. Well, I remember when you did the speech on stage too, which one that's the number one way to get someone to get in shape, by the way, is show them pictures where they weren't realizing there was a camera on them. Yeah, no, that's a great story.

Which is just by taking pictures or snapshots of your own life to really review what's happening. And what are you doing? And see how honest you are. But again, man, let's sum it up. If you had to give people one bit of advice on why to be honest with themselves, what reasons to be honest, what would you say,

Connell? What would your sum up be? Because the value of integrity, you can't pay for integrity. You can't buy back reputation. You can't pay for any of that. I don't care how much you have when things matter and they come down to it. You know,

people are going to have to trust you and they don't trust you for dishonest. And you can, people have a sixth sense about honesty. it, you know, people are going to have to trust you and they don't trust you if you're dishonest. And people have a sixth sense about honesty. Like, you know, you know when you're talking to somebody and they're full of shit. It is so, it's like you can't explain why.

It's just something in your eyes, the way your face moves. It's a thing. Yeah. And I believe that a lot of people have a pretty, because everybody I know that's a bullshitter, other people figure they're bullshitters. They get found out.

You will get found out if you're a bullshitter. Do you think you canters eventually they get found out you will get found out if you're a bullshitter do you think you can i mean outside of maybe selling cars do you think it's a long-term success well you know what this is going to sound really cynical yeah but i know a lot of people that are good at spinning and babbling bullshit right and they're on to the next thing hey i'm crypto miner oh i'm this guy and they just move to the next thing. Hey, I'm a crypto miner. Oh, I'm this guy. And they just move to the next thing, and there's a young generation of people that want to believe so badly, and they want to mentor.

All those other things that we'll probably get to in time. Yeah, we're going to get to those chapters about how to choose a mentor and all that stuff. But there's so many people that want to believe. We have an unflappable sort of human, in our human spirit, is this desire to believe in people. We need community.

We need people within our Dunbar's number or, you know, whatever. But a while since we had the Dunbar, I watch a good documentary and they kept bringing that up. Really cool. It was talking about how bias works and racism and stuff. They're like,

that's because back you were hunters with 15 other people. You all look the same. Like I don't care from now on, but yeah. And I, I's because back. You're hunters with 15 other people. You all look the same. Like, I don't care from now on, but yeah. And I want a chief. Yeah. Men want to be led. Yeah. That's something we forget a lot of times, you know, is that.

So these guys that put on the cloak of the leader, right? And they get busted. Well, in this day and age, you can reinvent yourself and keep kicking the can. Look at all these guys that get popped for fraud. It's not their first rodeo. They keep doing it. Look at the fire festival guy. They for fraud. It's not their first rodeo. They keep doing it. Look at the Fyre Festival guy. They've all had a thing before where they got popped.

They'll make money again. There were seven things before, and there'll be 10 things in the future. Well, let's assume that that's not how you should live your life. It's not how you should live your life. No, it's not. You can make short money that way. But just smell out.

You can make short money that way. You can make short money that way, but you're never going to have. But here's the one thing, man. If you really want true success and you want to escape the drift, it's not just about money, man. It's about success. And a big part of success is peace. And I cannot imagine that if you are spinning a web of lives in every damn direction, you're going to have any, any level of peace.

I can't imagine that. I agree. All right. Well, guys, thanks for joining us again. Thank you so much. Man, I hope you enjoyed this. We're going to do one on each little chapter

that I have going in the book. Again, dude, shoot me a DM at thejohngafford on Instagram. Tell me what you like, what you didn't like. Let me know that any feedback is helpful. If you just want to say

something nasty about me, send that to Colt. Colt, how do they find you? Instagram. What's your Instagram? Colt underscore Amadim. There you goadine there you go and counselor if they want somebody that lies for a living well don't call me if you want somebody who's gonna get some integrity car accident connelly lv on instagram uh the vote for the best of las vegas is going on right now

personal injury lawyer connelly car accidents let's do it vote for the old connelly i love that all right guys remember once again as we end it every time if you're gonna keep moving man personal injury lawyer, Connell law, car accidents. Let's do it. Vote for the old Connell. I love that. All right, guys. Remember once again, as we ended every time, if you're going to keep moving, man, if you got to move, move forward. All right.

See you next time. Hey, it's John Gafford. If you want to catch up more and see what we're doing, you can always go to the John Gafford.com where we'll share any links that we've things we talked about on the show as well as links to the YouTube where you can watch us live. And if you want to catch up with me on Instagram, you can always follow me at thejohngafford. I'm here.

Give me a shout.. Thank you.