Espresso - bennie gives love advice

Episode Date: May 5, 2022

on this episode Ben answers the Espresso Question of the week: what's your love problem? (like making out with your boyfriend's brother) Ben hates on Apple Mouse and Airpods, says that he'd j...ust play dead if he was in the army, and explains why it's girls' fault why their dudes head game is weak ↓ 𝐈 𝐈𝐌𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐒𝐎𝐍𝐀𝐓𝐄𝐃 𝐀 𝐅𝐈𝐑𝐄𝐅𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓𝐄𝐑 🧯 (𝐟𝐮𝐥𝐥 𝐯𝐢𝐝) https://youtu.be/0z4jqbf6pqM 🔒 𝗷𝗼𝗶𝗻 𝗺𝘆 𝗽𝗮𝘁𝗿𝗲𝗼𝗻 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝗲𝘅𝗰𝗹𝘂𝘀𝗶𝘃𝗲 𝗽𝗼𝗱𝗰𝗮𝘀𝘁𝘀 𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙮 𝙬𝙚𝙚𝙠 (𝗼𝗻𝗹𝘆 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗳𝗮𝗺) https://www.patreon.com/benedictpolizzi ♦️ 𝗦𝘂𝗯𝘀𝗰𝗿𝗶𝗯𝗲 𝗼𝗻 𝗬𝗼𝘂𝗧𝘂𝗯𝗲 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝗺𝗼𝗿𝗲 𝗰𝗼𝗻𝘁𝗲𝗻𝘁! https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCXRwNZpU67AK24r5QGfIfCw 🔹 𝙙𝙤𝙣'𝙩 𝙛𝙤𝙧𝙜𝙚𝙩 𝙩𝙤 𝙧𝙖𝙩𝙚 & 𝙧𝙚𝙫𝙞𝙚𝙬 ;) 🔸𝗦𝗲𝗻𝗱 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗵𝗼𝗺𝗶𝗲 𝗮 𝗖𝗮𝗺𝗲𝗼 𝗳𝗿𝗼𝗺 𝗝𝗢𝗛𝗡𝗦𝗢𝗡: https://v.cameo.com/E48BXekQ29 🔹𝗧𝗶𝗸𝗧𝗼𝗸: https://www.tiktok.com/@benedictpolizzi?source=h5_m 🔸𝗜𝗻𝘀𝘁𝗮𝗴𝗿𝗮𝗺: https://www.instagram.com/benedictpolizzi/ 🔹𝗧𝘄𝗶𝘁𝘁𝗲𝗿: https://twitter.com/benedictpolizzi

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Shatuna, hee-ya hee-ya hee-ya Ha ha ha! What's up fam? New stew, new digs I hate it when people say new digs Dude, I had this boss at my job, it was like my first day, and I just
Starting point is 00:00:18 moved downtown. It's always the most lame person ever that's like hey, so new digs? And you're like, what does that even mean? I didn't know what she was talking about for the first two minutes, I was like so, person ever that's like, hey, so new digs? And you're like, what does that even mean? I didn't know what she was talking about for the first two minutes. I was like, so you got everything in? And I was like, my office here?
Starting point is 00:00:32 It was so stupid. Don't ever say new digs or hey, how about your new gig? Ah! People would say, how's the new gig? Congrats on the gig i'm like i just quit because you're so annoying but yeah this is a new thing new studio sexy drop back sitting down dude i can't do anything sitting down if i fall asleep in half of this podcast it is just me with my head down and you looking at my bald spot, which is my worst fucking nightmare, then yeah, follow me. Rate, review, subscribe.
Starting point is 00:01:12 But for real, remember, join the Patreon for one extra episode each week. Last podcast was wild. We get psycho on the Patreon episode. It's definitely worth it. dollars come on it's pretty much just if you listen to the espresso but you kind of have to join the patreon it's just an unwritten rule but yeah it's new shit we're just trying stuff out you got to experiment you know but let's go uh the's go. The espresso question of the week this week. What's going on with your relationship issues? What's your love problem? Because I'm going to give you advice. Because I'm a thousand percent qualified to give you advice dude all my relationships
Starting point is 00:02:08 all my relationships low-key all my relationships top out at two years I've got a max contract two years I don't know what the hell you got I don't know what the hell you gotta do. I don't know what I gotta do, but two years and I'm fucking that's it, dude. Whoa, am I not recording? Yo, are you on my shit? Dude, somebody was just controlling my computer. Oh, it might have been that mouse. Oh, for sure, dude. That's hilarious.
Starting point is 00:02:44 That just had me fucked up. I thought a terrorist was on my computer. I brought a mouse in to edit because I've been editing all of the last five goddamn days. That firefighter video. You saw it. Dude, I've had computer brain for the last five days. So I had to I had computer brain so hard. I had to bring my own mouse in because i
Starting point is 00:03:05 couldn't i couldn't handle it anymore i couldn't use the keyboard so i had to bring a mouse in and then do the apple worst apple product ever the mouse besides worst apple products ever the mouse uh low-key air air airpods airpods suck dude you ever try to like, every time I'm on AirPods and somebody calls me, I'm like, oh, this is 25 minutes. I'll never get back. Like, you can't answer it. You can't,
Starting point is 00:03:32 you can't, like, I'm like, let me just hang up and call you back like on a pay phone because this, I'm never going to talk to you again with this shit.
Starting point is 00:03:40 But, yeah. Worst Apple products, the mouse, AirPods, and probably applesauce. Ah right let's go espresso question of the week what do you need love advice on what's your relationship issue from for me it's uh what was i talking about oh the the two years thing yeah i can't get past two years in a relationship after like two months i'm like um maybe i was wrong but i'm like no no no i've changed he never changes nobody does i got a max contract two years you can get past two years
Starting point is 00:04:23 with if i can get past two years in a relationship You're the one I Haven't I haven't had anything for two years in my life dude career job Computer nothing phone. Maybe my phone is the only thing I've had for two years Let's keep going I mean, let's go. Let's kick it off. From anonymous! What's your relationship problem? So, what's wrong with me and relationships? I have two.
Starting point is 00:04:53 Say what? You don't have that hooked up. I don't have a what? You don't have that hooked up. Oh. Oh, yeah. Whoopsies. That little bitch. Hold up, gotta reload all this shit. Fuck, I probably lost it. Hold on. This is gonna take like 20 seconds.
Starting point is 00:05:20 He's the greatest singer. He's the greatest singer. He's the greatest dancer. Fuck, dude. He's the great pretender. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what I do. When I'm buying time, I just sing childhood game show songs. All right.
Starting point is 00:05:38 Here we go. What's your relationship problem? What's your love problem? From Anonymous. So what's wrong with me and relationships? I have two that are my equal favorites. One is if you are unattractive. Why does she have like the sexiest R&B music on in the background right now? She's like, I gotta get in the mood for this shit.
Starting point is 00:06:02 I can flirt with you and look into your eyes as if you are God's gift on earth and I just wanna like marry you at that instant. It's never true. And number two, I am extremely superficial. So if you're not six foot plus, dark hair, colored eyes, 220 all muscle, biceps bigger than my face, I don't really want you one again what
Starting point is 00:06:26 so what's wrong with me and relationships i have two that are my two favorites out of ten one is if you are unattractive i can flirt with you and look into your eyes as if you are god's gift on earth and i just want to like marry you at that instant. It's never true. And number two, I am extremely superficial. So if you're not six foot plus, dark hair, colored eyes, 220, all muscle, biceps bigger than my face, I don't really want you. I don't get that at all.
Starting point is 00:07:03 Two, she's superficial. I think everybody's superficial, though. Because nobody's attracted to somebody who's not hot. Like, you just grow up liking some shit, and that's just what you go after. I don't know. I think everybody has a little bit of a type. Me? I ain't got no time.
Starting point is 00:07:24 Just girls with brown hair that get spray tans I mean what but uh no I get that that doesn't I don't think that's a relationship problem I just I wish I could understand what she just said in the first in the first little half of that she's like I can talk to people all day that are unattractive I I like that's my favorite part about unattractive people I'm like damn I can talk to you for two years once you get hot though I'm like I'm gonna walk over here I can't I can't do it anymore I'm good I'll never talk to you again but unattractive people fuck I'll rip your ear off and scream into your brain don't care he can't talk to hot people
Starting point is 00:08:09 on another episode of he can't talk to hot people he can't talk to hot people or you just got to do something you got to do something stupid like a hot person can't be hot like if you're gonna be hot you got to be kind of like, you gotta do something to, like, open up. Like, hot girls are the scariest shit to me until they, like, say something, and I'm like, okay, I'm in. But if you're hot, if you're a hot girl,
Starting point is 00:08:36 and you're just like, you're not opening it up, I'm like, I'll never talk to you in my entire life. Like, please say something stupid. Please drop your phone and crack it so we can just, like, get the show on the road. All right, another one. Relationship problems or love issues from Anonymous.
Starting point is 00:08:54 Hey, Ben, my new relationship coach. One thing that is wrong with my relationship right now that I feel uneasy about is my girlfriend isn't 100% sure that she wants to have kids and I know I want to have kids so what should I do about this oh shit this got real I forgot this has to be kind of serious so he wants to have kids I love how he said hey Ben just like I'm like sleeping in the same dorm room as him and he just woke up hey Ben like some shit you say to your roommate you don't really know yet in the morning hey Ben what's up bro like yeah you can like you can have some of my fucking apple jacks I don't care about literally anything so he wants to have kids. She doesn't.
Starting point is 00:09:47 Damn. You can take that a lot of different ways. If that happened to me, I'd probably be like... I would 100% probably be like, then you probably just don't like me that much. Because I think if you really like somebody, you just automatically want to have kids with them. That's how I am.
Starting point is 00:10:07 Every time I like a girl, I'm like, damn, what would our kids look like? Probably like weird. But what would the girl I'd have with you look like? Because I'm a thousand percent having 19 girls. I already know. It's just, it is what it is. It's already fucking planned out, dude. Girls' names, guys' guys names don't have any
Starting point is 00:10:26 guys names there's like five girls names the only guy name i have picked out is elvis i think she probably doesn't like you that much man because if you if you like somebody you just want to have kids with them i'd never like be in love with a girl and be like i don't want to have kids with you though i'd be like i i think a girl and be like, I don't want to have kids with you, though. I'd be like, I think that's kind of like a slap in the face, honestly. Or maybe she's just like, or maybe you give it some time and she feels like, yeah, okay. But you've got to make that decision.
Starting point is 00:10:59 You want to give it two years? You want to put some work in for two years and then get no kids out of it? That's crazy. Why doesn't she want to have kids, though? I get why girls don't want to have kids. Holy shit. I don't know. I've never really heard of a girl that didn't want to have kids.
Starting point is 00:11:21 I'd probably have a little heart-to-heart with her. I'd probably put down two bottles of wine and then make a fool out of myself and she'd end up breaking up with me. That's what would happen during that talk. No, dude, I'd try to find out why for sure. If she doesn't want to look bad, I'd be like, yeah, I get that.
Starting point is 00:11:39 I'm pretty much down with whatever the woman's choice is. If she's like, I don't want to have kids, I'd be like, bet. But if she's like, I don't wanna have kids, I'd be like, bet. But if she's like, I really wanna have kids, I'd be like, sounds good. Yeah, have a little heart to heart. I'm sure you have, but you get it. All right.
Starting point is 00:11:57 What's your relationship issue? What's your love problem, Prim Anonymous? Hey, Benny boy. Yeah! This is your boy P-Unit here. How am I supposed to know your nickname's P-Unit? That's what I said to everybody with a name that, or the letter that sounded like G growing up. I called my sister T-Unit for like five months and that was it.
Starting point is 00:12:22 Didn't even say her name. She didn't even like it either. I'd be like, I'd walk in and be like, . T-unit! She'd just be on the phone and like look at me and then look back at whatever she was doing.
Starting point is 00:12:35 I was like, oh. All right, let's keep going. Anyway, first time, long time. Hey, how's it going buddy? This just turned into a real life radio show. The problem with my love life, so I'm going on two years divorced i've got a lot congratulations this is the divorce guy podcast a lot of beautiful
Starting point is 00:12:53 single women in my area a lot of friends that always want to set me up with women go on dates meet them kind of though just over them don't get me wrong not gay but uh i'm just kind of though just over them. Don't get me wrong, not gay, but I'm just kind of trying to chase this podcast dream and do my work stuff and don't really care about women right now. But then there's the whole biological clock thing. Boy, what a conundrum. Anyway, you should check out the Backroads and Bonfires podcast. Wow. Love you.
Starting point is 00:13:24 Love you too, bro. I'm literally looking up biological clock right now. Oh my God, he's so stupid. He doesn't know what that is. I kind of don't know either, but still, you're so stupid. What the fuck's biological clock? Your age or something?
Starting point is 00:13:38 Fundamental functioning of life, the order, the coordination of behavior. This is fucked up. This just turned into a damn near encyclopedia. So you're afraid you're going to get old? Here, this is fucked up. This just turned into a damn near encyclopedia. So you're afraid you're gonna get old? Here, this is what you do, bro. If you want to fall in love with somebody, you don't try.
Starting point is 00:13:55 I've been wanting to say that on a pod... I don't need a podcast. If you want to find the right person, don't try. That's it. That's it! He figured it out! it out i promise dog once you start trying you start wasting time and shit they don't really like you that much like it's you just start reaching just work hard work hard on the pod i am gonna subscribe because you're a g you're a g for
Starting point is 00:14:21 leaving a voice message and And I like you hustle. But I'm telling you, dog, don't go for it. You said there's singles in your area, which makes you think you've already been on like 14 dating sites. You freak. I'm telling you, dude, just do your shit. Let it come to you. P-unit. P-p-p. All Alright, let's keep rolling.
Starting point is 00:14:47 What's your love problem? What's your relationship advice? I'm an idiot. From Anonymous. Oh my god. So my biggest relationship problem is that, um, you haven't met me yet. So, what are you gonna do about that? That just got way too horny no no i mean um what should i do about that i knew this was gonna happen thank you
Starting point is 00:15:13 oh damn i appreciate it but i'm trying to focus on myself right now. My number one answer of all time. Hey, do you wanna like, I'm trying to focus on myself right now. Hey, what if we met up? I'm trying to focus on myself right now. Hold on, why does she sound like she's in like the corner of a library?
Starting point is 00:15:40 Like fuck, all right. I'm gonna send it. So my biggest relationship problem is that um you haven't met me yet that is some cute ass shit though i don't know what accent that is but that is kind of nice sorry that's weird all right what's your relationship problem what's your love conundrum i said it from anonymous okay so my relationship problem? What's your love conundrum? I said it. From Anonymous. Okay, so my relationship problem right now is that I'm dating this guy that I really like,
Starting point is 00:16:18 and I don't want to fuck it up, but he has a twin brother, and he literally looks exactly like him. So I come over, and, like, we're hanging out on the couch and stuff and just watching TV. And then like we start making out. No. And then I realized like I don't think it's the right twin. Shut up! He was going along with it. So like I don't know how to tell him. There's no way this shit is real, dude.
Starting point is 00:16:42 There's no fucking way. You're an idiot. No twin looks that similar that you're like, oh God. Like their mouth moves the same and shit. They kiss the same. Dude, when you kiss somebody, you know their kiss rhythm. If that actually happened now, I wouldn't know what to do if you like somebody and they have a twin that's like equally or more as hot it's
Starting point is 00:17:10 pretty much like so you like them too right like there's no like you you have to be by default like by liking me who looks exactly like this person, you like him too. That would suck, kind of, to know that. Like, hey, I got a twin brother. You want to come over? And yeah, you'd probably fuck him too. Just by, like, logistics.
Starting point is 00:17:40 What the fuck? This is so stupid. I'm never dating a twin. That'd be so weird. Except for twins, like, there's always one that's, like, really, like, mm. You know, there's, like, the good-looking twin and the one twin that's, like, upset that they're not as good-looking as the other one. There's always one that's, like, there's always one that's, like, hella hot and the other one's kind of, like, I don't know. Where'd you grow up?
Starting point is 00:18:05 Were you, like, incubated in the basement type of feel? You know what I mean. Had these, grew up with these twins named Adam and Alex, bro. Of course. Fucking Adam and Alex. If you have twins, you don't kind of name them the same name. Just, dude, that's gotta be the creepiest thing. Dressing your kids having twins
Starting point is 00:18:26 one is like ridiculous how does that happen like in all the shit of human bodies you can have the same kid what are the goddamn odds and why there's so many twins you know the first time somebody had twins they were like what the fuck like hey god try a little harder same guy twice oh shit god gave up he's like i don't know fucking do it again they won't notice having twins one is weird and then having twins and dressing them Exactly the same It's gotta be the most psycho parent shit I've ever heard of in my life And then naming them the same thing You're just creating a problem for yourself
Starting point is 00:19:13 Fuck I don't know which one did that God damn it they look the same act the same Talk the same and they have the same name Fuck But like one of the twins was cool And like athletic and the other twin I was like He'd like talk about army stuff other twin i was like he'd like talk about army stuff at lunch i was like dog we're in second grade like
Starting point is 00:19:28 jesus christ do some pull-ups on that bar over there the two army guys are at that was another weird thing army guys coming into your lunch trying to recruit you i was like um is this allowed if i was in the army I'd play dead on the ground for two years. Swear to God. They'd be like, he's been there for a while. They like see me breathing and like eating like plants and shit. I'll just keep playing dead every time they like look. Dude, if there was a straight up gunfire war just across the country,
Starting point is 00:20:01 I would just be laying in a field like i got shot for at least a year i swear i'd be able to survive the whole time too just off of sheer like willpower like no i'm not being in the war i wouldn't even need to eat just like like animals and shit would come up and lick my face and i would grab them right there and eat them i swear to god like a little raccoon would come up and like lick my nose and I'd be like gotcha bitch and then I'd like it would die in my hands I wouldn't kill it
Starting point is 00:20:28 it would just die in my hands because I wouldn't let it go that's not me killing it that's just me like surviving it's the food chain so it dies in my hands and then like I like start a fire
Starting point is 00:20:37 with two sticks my eyes are closed the whole time because I'm still dead and then I roast it over the fire like it's Simba and I just eat that shit right there and they're like that guy's still dead damn And I roasted over the fire. Like it's Simba. You know, I just eat that shit right there.
Starting point is 00:20:46 And they're like, that guy's still dead. Damn. He's full as fuck. Oh, God. Okay, this isn't a voice message. And I hate, guys, leave voice messages. Or I can't even, you know, it just doesn't even count. So please, in the future, leave a voice message if you can for this stuff.
Starting point is 00:21:07 But I am going to read this one. All right. What's your relationship issue? What's your love problem? From Anonymous. I match with someone online. That's the first problem. We talk every day.
Starting point is 00:21:22 Text, voice, etc. That's the second problem. We meet after two weeks. That's not bad. And then communication drops and I get ghosted. Rinse and repeat with the next one. It's because of where you're finding them, baby girl. I mean, this could be a dude too, but you get it.
Starting point is 00:21:46 I think dating sites are for the people that, like, they don't, I think they're just trying to hook up. That's exactly what's happening. Dating sites are for people that are just trying to fuck. And if you're doing, if you're trying to really fall in love
Starting point is 00:22:02 on a dating site, that's like finding, like, your's like finding the woman of your dreams at a fucking karaoke bar. Dude, no. You got to find Shorty at the Keystone Mall just walking around. Not that that's my fantasy or anything. Alright, let's keep going. What's your love issue or relationship problem? Not that that's my fantasy or anything. Alright, let's keep going. What's your love issue or relationship problem?
Starting point is 00:22:30 From Anonymous. The most psycho thing my parents have ever... Okay, that was last week. Alright, what's your love issue or relationship problem? This guy's on his shit though every week. From Anonymous. Well, you know, an issue that i'm having with my love life is i don't have a significant other there is no love to go around that's an issue so you're saying you got no boo i think that's a good thing for you man not that i know you or anything but if you don't have
Starting point is 00:23:07 love in your life like don't force it man that's that's the way that you that you fuck up is when you force some some relationships if you're just going with it and riding with it and seeing what happens and doesn't work out you're still fucked because nobody understands that. Like if you're just like, ah, we'll try it, see how it goes. Like you can't, it's like, it's almost all or nothing. So don't jump into that. I don't think. And don't get desperate and like force it either. Don't do shit. That's pretty much all I'm saying. Damn, I had two voice messages that I didn't do. I'm going to find them real quick. Why did I get nervous and start doing the Freddie song? It's like you know when people are looking for something
Starting point is 00:23:57 or you're in the same area as them and they're like... You're in the elevator with somebody and they're like... I hate that moment so much. I'm like, shut up. We don't always have to be saying some shit. But when I'm in the elevator with somebody, I'm just like, and they're like, oh, fuck, this guy's going to kill me. I should have known.
Starting point is 00:24:23 Boom, here we go. All right, what's your relationship problem or love issue from anonymous wait wait wait wait hold on problems with my love life god damn where do i even begin um problem number one i am attractive so i'm like the puppy that everybody wants to take home. However, my standards are pretty high. So all the guys that are blowing up my inbox are dudes that already have kids and I don't want to settle for a dude with a kid. Or guys with a job that isn't equivalent to mine.
Starting point is 00:25:01 And I don't want that so Basically the answer here is I'm a bitch and I'm gonna be single for a long ass time That's the right mindset do your shit cuz dude girls don't need you don't need to like get desperate if you're a girl if Girls like can't find the problem is girls are trying to find a boyfriend If girls like can't find the problem is girls are trying to find a boyfriend don't find just let them Let them come to you. You're a girl dog. You can walk outside and seven guys will be like, how you doing? And I'm 30 and at 34 They write geriatric pregnancy on your chart
Starting point is 00:25:43 geriatric geriatric pregnancy on your chart So that kind of sucks. My time is running out. No bueno. Damn, I didn't think of it like that really. Hold up. And lastly, the problem with my love life. I'm kind of feeling a ho phase, but as we get older, these older guys don't want to do a ho phase because they think I'm a keeper and they want to keep me around even though I have no intention of keeping them around. I just want to have a ho phase for just a second. You just got to tell them. But no. No.
Starting point is 00:26:13 No. They want to keep me around so they want to make me wait. Damn it. If you're trying to have a ho phase, first of all, that seems kind of impossible if you're not like in college college seems like the time to have a hoe face because nobody really gives a shit until but senior year in college shit starts to change and people are like i want to get married now but yeah hoe phase in your 30s you just got to tell him straight up. You got to be like, yo, day one, hour one of even being with him in the same room, just be like, I just want sex.
Starting point is 00:26:55 That's the part I struggle with. How do you just tell somebody that? That would hurt so bad. Girl just comes up to you, hey, I just want to fucking never talk to you again. I'd be like, damn. All right, but damn. I don't know, the geriatric pregnancy thing. Even though I have no idea what that means.
Starting point is 00:27:09 That sounded pretty like, I don't know what to say about that. Start looking, but don't look too hard. Don't, just don't. You'll be fine. Don't force it. You're good. That's my whole entire fucking message to everyone. Just stop trying. i know i got
Starting point is 00:27:27 one more um so this one might be a little controversial but all guys think they're good at going down on a girl oh yeah and i bet if we took a poll we would find out that that's not true at all and i just wish there was a little bit more communication around this because like if somebody would just say, I don't like that or I'm not good at that, that's fine. There's still X, Y, and Z ways that you can, things you can do to get us to the same goal.
Starting point is 00:27:58 Damn, beating around the bush. No, if you rest on your laurels of like, I'm so good at this and I don't need to learn anymore, then you're going to be in a relationship for three years with no orgasms. And let me tell you, that blows. It's bad. Guys think they're good at going down on girls because guys think they're good at fucking everything. Until you got gotta tell us.
Starting point is 00:28:25 That's on you. If your dude sucks at going down, we don't know what the fuck we're doing. We're just guessing down there based off your reaction. You gotta tell us. And don't look at the top of our heads, a.k.a. me. But that's on you, homie, with the going down. How are we supposed to know?
Starting point is 00:28:45 We don't know shit. Just be like this way, that way. Just pretend it's like a video game. Just like a joystick. Just be like, that's a dual-shot controller down there. Pretend like... Fucking hit turbo and score. I might need a rumble pack though.
Starting point is 00:29:08 All right, there's one more and then we'll bounce. Did I just say rumble pack? On another episode of He Can't Find Shit. He can't find... Oh, here it is. All right. What's your relationship issues? What's your love problems from
Starting point is 00:29:26 anonymous last one my problem right now in my love life is kind of liking a guy and we have this friendship but it's also kind of flirty and it's very weird to um see like what he's feeling and i don't want to ask because i don't want to ruin the friendship and I don't want to make it weird but also things might not ever happen if I don't say anything or if one of us doesn't say anything you gotta ask you gotta ask because guys will never fucking ask nothing we'll just go I'll go with the flow for seven and a half years if you don't ask. Just ask. Just be like, so what the fuck? Do you want to like, are we doing this or not?
Starting point is 00:30:09 That's how you got to do it. And the guy will be like, oh shit. And he'll probably say, yeah. So be ready for that. For sure. Be ready for that shit. But ask like, like point blank, just, just like in his car be like hey you wanna talk
Starting point is 00:30:26 and he'll be like oh fuck and just be like well you wanna do it and he'll be like if he hesitates like that's straight up straight up just be like
Starting point is 00:30:36 alright I just wanna be friends and if he but if he says yeah be like okay I just wanna know cool and then it sounds like it just sounds like you don't want to be with him.
Starting point is 00:30:48 Just don't do it. It sounds weird. Anytime it's flirty, fun, friend, it's like, I don't know if we should. Okay, you want to ruin the friend? You're never going to be friends again. That's how it is. Hey, we're good good friends and we get along and everything's great and you think I'm hot
Starting point is 00:31:07 I think you're hot this is the best relationship I've ever had you wanna start dating and ruin everything that's how it goes shorty but uh yeah ask him for sure if he hesitates bounce if he doesn't then
Starting point is 00:31:24 if you like him give it a little shot then just break up with him for real when is the last time a guy's had a broken heart i don't think girls should girls should be breaking up with dudes left and right like we care but we're not like we're not gonna fucking like we're not like, we're not going to fucking like, we're not going to like block you and slash your tires and shit. That's like, we're like, we get over shit. Just tell us how it is. That's how I like it. Just be straight up.
Starting point is 00:31:56 Wow, is this podcast real? That's it. We changed it up. Espresso shot 209. Shit got kind of real. We had no freestyle. We had no 86 news. We had no viral. We had no days.
Starting point is 00:32:11 We're trying shit out. We're experimenting. Was it weird? Yeah. Give me your feedback. Give me your advice. Remember subscribe, rate, review. This kind of had a Patreon feel because on patreon i'm just like talking dude uh yeah i like to switch up let me know what you think and if you have any ideas for segments or anything like that like i just want to do some new shit so let me know
Starting point is 00:32:38 remember to subscribe rate review show this sunday i'll have details in my bio but okay I'll talk to you next week

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