Espresso - BEST OF ESPRESSO BENNY AND JOEY ARE REUNITING???

Episode Date: August 31, 2023

On this BEST OF ESPRESSO episode Benny and Joey talk babies, how annoying TV people are and BRETT FAVRE🔺𝗪𝗔𝗧𝗖𝗛 𝗢𝗡 𝗬𝗢𝗨𝗧𝗨𝗕𝗘 https://www.youtube.com/@espressowbenedictLeave a rating and review boo🎧𝗔𝗽𝗽𝗹𝗲 𝗽𝗼𝗱𝘀 https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/espresso/id1514492317 

Best of Espresso. You ready? What were we talking about? Oh, okay. So the video where Joey was the coach interview at halftime and I was like the state trooper. On the back end of that video when Joey was running away, he slipped and people were like, oh, the fake slip. No, he actually just fucking almost ate it on happy shit in the backyard.

That was way too natural. I like to consider myself a pretty decent actor. You are. You are good. I could not do that naturally. No. It'd be close, though, because you're good at that. You somehow know how to, like.

Thanks, man. I actually took a photo of said shit that I slipped in, and there's just, it looks like, it looks like, you like you know that training drill where you do like the skis and you like ski through something you know what I mean that's what it looks like on the camera I'll show if we can no glare it's this camera right right there yeah right there I mean I'm trying not to get the glare but there it is like you see the little bit of the full turd still but then you see the point where my shoe stepped and then just immediately skied that's a slip right there that's a slip shit slip shit slip

shit but uh guys running shit that guy he's not running in shit he's running yeah he's walking he's got his shit together hair slick back running meetings for sure you can always tell by the way they walk man on a Monday to no less wearing black dress pants and like a nice yeah down shirt when you wear something slick on a monday like you got you got it going on you're in some big business meetings yeah man everybody's slumming on monday no matter what especially after your team loses you know like in indie right now right like the colts are just absolutely sucking ass yeah so that's just perfect excuse excuse everybody look like this guy across the way you know shirt off just not giving a shit even the weather's like ah fuck the colts lost dude this weather right now makes me want to

watch hocus pocus and eat peanut m&ms oh my god this is per it's like dude me and wyatt sail all the time it's like we like Indiana has another state's weather. We're always like, oh, we're in another beautiful day in South Carolina. This is perfect. This should be the weather every Monday forever. I'd be cool with that. Even a little bit of rain. Cloudy, like 75.

Come on. It's perfect for what you said. I tweeted about it. Shorts, long sleeve. Let's go. I know. Look at me wearing these. What are they?

They're like khaki. What? Every time I wear these, you geek out, bro. Oh, yeah, dude. Let's go. I know. Look at me wearing these. What are they? They're like khaki. They're like khaki. Every time I wear these, you geek out, bro. Oh, yeah, dude. It's coach. You're making the transition into your later form of life. Yeah. Like the coach shorts on. Pretty.

Nike dry fit golf shorts. I'm going to see you like. I won't see you again for like six months. It'll be like March 2023. You'll show up. You'll have loafers, no socks with khakis on. Hot jacket with a team logo right here. I'm like, well, okay.

Coach P transition. Tigers. Coach P transition complete. Loading, loading, loading. What's going on, man? World traveler. Fucking world famous Ben Polizzi. I'm not shit.

This is great. Yeah. Wow. It's good. uh couple of weekends had vegas with nikki and then jim shark new york last weekend it's cool man yeah time square different a lot of street content remember that time that we went to time square randomly when you were in new york with me oh yeah it was fun it was like pouring down rain but we were still having so much fun just because we could go into like H&M and, you know, Nike outlet in Times Square.

Anytime I do anything, I'm like, oh, but the Nike outlet. I'm pretty sure this Jordan hat. Could be in like Dubai. I'd be like, yeah, let's go to Foot Locker. This Jordan hat that I have on, actually, we got in Times Square. It was like the transition from the old black Jordan hat to the new one. I put it on and Ben was like, yeah, it's the one. I was like, that's it. That's a new dawn. It's a new day. What's up big 10 network. That was cool. So I was just working out at, uh, the Raskiller,

by the way, did you go there this morning? I've been doing the home workouts with the kid, you know, not with the kid, but since I have the kid, I've just been getting up and just ripping like 200 pushups and like, you know, some BS ab stuff. But I'm like, hey, push-ups. Push-ups are, I mean, people were doing that in like the Egyptian times. And they'll do it now and you'll get just as jacked. Same shit. It's like the perfect workout, that and pull-ups.

Yes. Pull-ups, I'm a little bitch. I can't do pull-ups. I'm not to that point yet. They never get easier. You're talking to the push-up king over here, bro. I'll just be sitting around. I'm a little bitch. I can't do pull-ups. I'm not to that point yet. They never get easier. You're talking to the push-up king over here, bro. I'll just be sitting around. I'll knock 20 out right now.

I swear to God. Just randomly, he'll hit 20. Well, that's the best part, right? I mean, it's like a commercial break. You're watching football. Commercial break, knock out 10-20. Do that every commercial break for the first half. You're at 200 easily.

It's a coffee, bro. It's a human form of coffee. You just wake up. Everything's better. Everything's good. Yeah, you do get that little sweat, though. Yeah, you do. But it is like we're fully into football season where the weekends, right?

It's like, for me at least, I'm just consumed with nothing but sitting on my ass and watching football and then eating. Oh, that sucks. You got to fucking get moving I'm watching football Saturday Sunday and then of course like you know lat yesterday the family comes over for the Steelers game you know my brother so your house is the football well we're making it more so so just because of the boy you know like we're more making it and we are pretty nice set up like you know mounted big screen on there right it's in a nice spot right it's like know mounted big screen on there right it's in a

nice spot right it's like a nice where you can l shape it's in the corner everybody's got a good view right we get the double screen there's like some tiling behind it yeah yeah right and so yesterday you know we had like it was like you know mexican buffet right brother-in-law makes the queso we got the beef tacos and chicken tacos chips chips and salsa, which is all great. But then last night, about 6.05, I'm drunk off sadness with the loss from my Steelers. And then also on top of that, I've had like six helpings of queso, a couple tacos. Some little depression scoops. Right. So now I'm sitting there, man.

My titties are flopping. I was in the same boat, bro. I feel like I got double chin going on. I'm like, man, I need to get up tomorrow morning. I need to do like 300 push-ups yeah it's good shit you run ever no i always eat like shit and i'm like yeah i'll just put on some muscle i'm like i'm not getting rid of any of the fat i just put in my body bro i'm not right but i did here when one of the reasons why i'm so big on push-ups too is i was listening to an interview with howard stern and jonah hill yeah and it was skinny Jonah Hill era, right?

And, of course, Howard Stern just like, now how the fuck do you lose all this weight? I mean, where the fuck does that go? Right? And so Jonah Hill, he's just like, yeah, they told me, you know, my trainer told me to do like 100 push-ups a day and I'll just lose weight. What? He literally just did 100 push-ups a day for every day.

I don't know. And he just lost weight. That's it? I mean, I'm sure like he And he just lost. That's it? I mean, I'm sure he wasn't just gorging himself with pizza and Big Macs. You have to eat a little bit better, too. But he said straight up, doctor told me, or my trainer told me, just do 100 push-ups every single day, and you'll lose the weight.

So Stern just said, I can't do two push-ups. You know what I mean? He's going crazy about it. And then Jonah Hill said, yeah, just do that. And so I was like, all right, well, at least I'll just knock out two push-ups. You know what I mean? He's going crazy about it. And then Jonah Hill said, yeah, just do that. And so I was like, all right, well, at least I'll just knock out some push-ups. And my shoulders, my chest will feel better. Maybe I'll lose some weight in my face, everything. It's amazing. Push-ups, bro.

Yeah. I'm liking the glasses for you. I always like when you wear the glasses. It makes me feel cozy. Really? Yeah. It makes me feel like we're just kind of hanging. Because it was a, yeah.

It's relaxed. I think that's it. Because whenever you usually usually are it's like 2 a.m at your apartment and we're like editing a video or like wine drunk and so it's like this is good it's chill you know when you don't got the glasses i'm like oh this is a big purchase i was going between like five pairs i like that just pulled the trigger on the harry potters glasses purchase huh talk about a freaking nightmare what what do i want to do are these gonna be out of style exactly what do i want to look like the color right i got like brown frames i usually wear black crazy so i'm like does that throw off do i need to get the black frames to match what i'd normally wear is it like wearing black and navy blue some shit like that right that's a tough brown shoes black belt that kind of thing uh-huh did

you send like 18 000 pictures to your sister yes yeah and it was between three and i was like i like the circle frames circle frames and the other two options i had were too much like the last pair i had i was like let's change it up a little bit i do keep getting the harry potter though but whatever circle frames are in circle frames are in at least so are in. Dude, so your boy, Frankie. Yeah, my son, man. He's three weeks old tomorrow. Dude, he's so chill. I've seen him like twice now.

Doesn't make a sound. Yeah, he is, man. He sleeps big time. He sleeps big time during the day. Luckily, we're on kind of like a three. It's almost like pit stops, man. It's like IndyCar. Like at nighttime, right? It's almost like pit stops, man. It's like IndyCar, like it like at nighttime, right? It's like, okay, how many what's the strategy here tonight, Frank?

Are we waking up four times? We do a four pit stop night. Are we doing three, right? Maybe we'll get maybe we'll get two. We'll stretch it out and we'll get like, you know, two, four and a half hour stints of sleep. Those are crazy nights. You follow? You're like you like you.

Yeah, yeah, you wake up and you like can't believe he's still asleep type right. Yeah, like last night was like a three like a three stopper like I'd say not bad pretty average. It was like as last feeding on a nine eleven o'clock. We change them right. We get some sleep is about two a.m. I wake up. I change him again and then burpy boy and then it was about five a.m. I got up and change it again. So it's three stops. so i had about you know three three and a half hour stints of sleep not good 5 30 a.m we got the queen being buried right throw that coverage on start the week damn has there ever been a full night's sleep no i think they're ever nah maybe in like a couple months or something like that yeah man i mean

right now like i said he's just about three weeks to be three weeks when this comes out and he's just like it's true these newborns man they everybody's just like well you know they just sleep shit and eat and they're like yeah that's really what they do everybody says it's a nightmare though it's i mean we're lucky right because like with what i do i can be home and so it's not just all on rye and like she doesn't have to worry about work or anything either so like we're we're lucky in that stance where we can just kind of tag team it pretty easily. Oh, shit. No babysitter. Right, yeah.

And also, it's my mom's first grandchild, so she wants to see him every single day. She's high. She pretty much has, which is great. Really? She'll come over? Yeah, she'll come over, or we'll go there or something. I don't know. Yeah, I took him down to Bloomington with us.

It was fun. It was good for Big Ten Network. That was wild, man. I mean, you were on like live TV is a different beast. Yeah, there's like so many cameras. I'm like, is all this necessary, actually? So many cameras, so many lights, and so many people wearing headsets that you're like, why the fuck are you even here?

I'm like, half of these people are fake. They're a scam. Dude, but it's so nice to not have to worry about like the audio, the fucking, is it going to clip? Like there's just people like that are dialed in, dude. You're doing everything. They're doing everything. And luckily for us, because we're used to, well, doing why it does, you know, pretty

much everything, right? But still, something's always bound to fuck up and it's just so good that's not in your hands yeah exactly i just grabbed them and you know i think you'll appreciate this right so they they uh the people on before me and the guys who are hosting my call and everything from big 10 like they had the headset mic you know with like the little wrap in their ear and then the mic the mic that went right here oh yeah it's like you're like you can't see it, right? Right. And I was like, to the audio guy, I was like,

man, you think I can get a stick mic? And he was like, you want one? I said, yeah. No way. He said, yeah, we can make that happen. Because you didn't want that? I got the handheld stick mic, man. I was like, no, I'm doing it.

I want the stick mic. I want to be able to like, I feel too much like a preacher. Like if you have one of those things on, you're like, okay, now today we're going to focus on motivation and how to make your life better. Right? Like,

or it's just like pull around a window to fucking big Mac. Yeah, exactly. So I was like, no, give me the thing, dude,

give me the mind. I want to hold it. You know, I want to feel more in control. Plus I knew they're going to make me do impressions and stuff. So I was like, I don't know. I just feel like I can kind of get into it better.

Don't know what to do with your hands type shit. Exactly. When you have the headset on. Exactly, yeah. But yeah, man, it's literally like, you know how everybody says, that meme that goes around, it's like the duck. Be like the duck because above water, everybody thinks it's calm, but below water, it's going crazy.

That's what live TV is. Like you and the people who are hosting or whatever on camera you're sitting there and you're you know smile and everything but behind there's 18 million people running every which way doing all sorts of things like yeah it's it's a nightmare for everybody that's not like in front of the camera mm-hmm oh my god I'm always like wow you guys actually like good for you for wanting to do this, because when I was, like, in school, like, trying to study that shit, I was like, I don't want

to either. This is how you wrap the cord around. I'm like, dude, I don't give a shit about the cord, bro. The cord? This is what today's lesson's on? The fucking cord. Okay. I'm like, I'm good on all that.

The cord, the audio mixer board or whatever. Hey, have more knobs. Dude, sitting in one of those director's rooms on live TV when they're like, all right, and take two. Okay, ready? Camera three, take three. Ready? Camera four, take four. Give me four. Can I get five? Can I get five overhead? Take five.

Insane. You're like an auctioneer back there. I don't want that stress and anxiety. All the buttons, bro. I'm like, are we flying a plane? That's insane, too, is like a lot of people I think will be like, man, I don't know. I could never, you know, be like on camera, like in live TV, right? And like talking. I'm like, you think that's bad?

Go into the truck and like see what those people are doing. Oh, the truck outside with the satellite. I'm like, what the fuck is, why do we need this? You're pressing one wrong button. You're going to World War III. I'm like, what the fuck is, why do we need this? You're pressing one wrong button. You're going to World War III.

I'm like, nah, man, just take the mic, go out there and just talk about bullshit. All you have to do is just be like, yeah, I don't really know how they're going to, you know, take care of their offensive line. I'm real worried up front and the people in the back of their pissing 18 million buttons. Six guys in a van. Are we breaking into like a world famous casino or just getting audio from the fucking left tackle on the colt right is this oceans 11 or big tailgate oh god uh jesus those vans are insane i never wanted to step into one you remember like i've been in well that's what i'm about to say dude internship yeah like intern stuff or like when you're like

job shadowing to try to like get connections or whatever. You're like, yeah, we'll like show you the truck. I'm good. I don't want to see the truck. Fuck the truck. Nah, fuck the truck, man. I don't need that stress. I think it's so crazy.

Like when somebody's getting interviewed like a player on like an NBA team or some shit, there's like fucking 15 people with microphones. I'm like like how about just one microphone send it out to him hey you guys airdrop on i'll send it to you we can make this easier 14 iphones in this guy's mouth no one's listening to they're all just waiting to ask their question and then they fight over who gets to ask a question right the whole time and like you have to see that's yeah that now we're getting like nitty-gritty like media shit i don't know if any i feel like people would probably well i feel like people would be like oh well you know they're interested right a lot of dudes even some chicks out there like oh yeah i

don't know i always wonder how that works but it's like you go into like the colts locker room or wherever right and like there's this there's these weird like unspoken rules right like like the the the two guys who have covered the team for 30 years always get like front and center no matter what like that's their unspoken thing then like you have like taylor tana bomb of the world who has her like big tv camera behind her and like you know she's a lady right so it's like she gets kind of front and center too and then like you have the beat reporters who are like kind of the cooler cocky young guys who like they also like if they work for tv no just like covering them online and stuff like there's a packing order of how it goes right and like you don't step in there and then you know or else the

energy is totally off and then like they're all kind of looking at you and right and then they'll go they'll go talk shit about you behind your back like once there's not more drama than in like tv across the media and general drama is it's in scott. It's literally like being in a locker room like that. It's literally like high school, the channel thirteen, like you got to nudge in my arm in there. I'm like dude, shut the fuck up and just get the audio right. You have the different scrums and stuff too right like they're waiting, so you have like a few of the guys over here who are again like the younger ones who are kind of like thinking they're hot shit on twitter and you know they're chatting

it up making fun of stuff you go in there they're like who the fuck is the new guy yeah then you have that like hot lady reporter that you're like you don't want to talk to her is that her from channel 13 you don't want to talk to her because Is that her from Channel 13? Is that her from Channel 13? You don't want to talk to her because then she's like, is this guy hitting on me or like what? You know what I mean? Then there's that whole story. And the media girls look so like done up. I'm like, how do you guys look this good every day?

Right. The media girl looks so done up. And then you have like the guy who's been covering the team for 28 years who literally looks like he just left the kitchen at McDonald's. It's always so true. Like, like grease, just like dripping down him,

like shirt on. What's happening to you? It feels like he writes every story on a fucking typewriter, but like everybody just knows. Yeah. Oh yeah. Chappy gets front and center. It's always a nickname for the big dog.

The guy that's been around forever. He's been in the game for a while. Yeah, yeah. He's been on ESPN a few times. Old Wellesley, you know. Don't step on his dare door. You gotta fucking end it in a I-E or a Y. Schmitty.

Damn, man. I can end it in a year. Why, Smitty damn man or when, like a player comments on you because you're like they're used to the set up right. So then, when there's like a new face, you know they're like oh, you know the one who has like a little bit more personality of a player, like a freak like Andrew like who would just be like I about you so see there yeah you're doing the stories about you right and everybody actually you know what I'll just go kill myself so that the pecking order for asking questions like an interview is so weird to me like right when the players done finishing a like a question or an answer or whatever the next guy's like so what

you think about oh they fight over did did you yeah yeah you have to just literally just just freaking put your head down and talk over people you know like oh man how do they know when the players like or the coach is done answering a question this is this turned into a media class that's like the feel you know yeah i mean like and again you're just not so i think yeah that's where we should have gone third down. And when he starts the word down, somebody's like, so I didn't think of the fourth quarter of the drive.

Oh, yeah. That's third and two. I'm just like, oh, my. Yeah. It's. And the people answering the questions, the players in the country answering the questions, like, don't give any actual information. So it's like, why are we doing this at all?

Don't give any information. And it's so funny, too. I've like, I think i've done a sketch about this before but like just beating around the bush like you'll you're in these situations are like next time you're watching like your team's press conference right of like your coach or your quarterback or whoever listen to the questions and you'll be able to tell what the job is that that person who's asked the question is doing so like

if somebody's like you know on third and two there, you went with the 12 package and you decided not to, and they get real nitty gritty with it. That person is probably a beat writer who like writes stories and covers that team daily. Then you get to the question of somebody who's just like, yeah, Andrew. Oh, smooth as shit. A TV guy. Oh, yeah, Andrew. daily then you get to the question of somebody who's just like yeah andrew oh yeah andrew yeah for a home opener this weekend uh what do you have to say to the crowd who's gonna be in there

uh bringing some noise on sunday that's a tv person right because because they want that clip they want the clip 6 p.m news 6 p. 6 p.m., 30-second sports thing. And now, hey, we'll go to Charlie Clifford. And then Charlie's just like, talked with the quarterback and he had this. And then it's just like, he's ready to be fired up. Yeah, it'll be great to have the fans out there and we're super excited.

It's such a scam, dude. That's the nitty gritty, baby. That's the nitty gritty baby that's the nitty gritty on uh behind the scenes so we're using indie examples for the national audience out there because that's where we're based and that's what we've experienced but it's the same everywhere yeah same shit same shit but yeah that internship was wild that's how i know anything about media coverage just because i was an intern for a sports station for like a year funniest shit ever crazy the dude the amount of getting ready that had to happen dude to be on camera for 18 seconds

I wasn't even on camera I was the intern but I still had to like look like it was all everything we did was fake we'd go to like a Westfield Fishers girls basketball game and I'd be in front of the camera and be like oh who gives a shit dude but i'd always try to make it funny because i was like i don't want to be like every goddamn reporter on tv so i'd be like tonight's ladies night and what's her face is in the vip with 12 points and two assists or something like that yeah and it came off even more corny but but the best part of that shit which i should should probably repost that little reel I did. You should. But that was when I knew that I couldn't have a real job.

Like when my sports director for the internship was like, hey, Ben, you need to make a highlight reel like you would for a football season. You would cut up your best plays, put them together and send them to school as well. We need to do that for your internship. We need you to do that for the golf outing. All right. Take your best clips, smash them together, put that on YouTube and I'll'll watch it give you some feedback and we'll go

from there and i was putting all the clips together and i was like this shit is so boring oh man yeah so carmel won their 24th uh state championship in a row and that's a new record so yeah go hounds and then i had a bunch of bloopers i set aside that were like just fucking so dumb and i put a highlight tape together highlight whatever thing together for that and i was like this is this is what i want to do i want to be a professional idiot yeah yeah never forget those moments when you say why the heck did i want to do this ever in the first place i know man i don't know wait these guys talking about this who gives right right well i mean i just don't think the offense has it in them i really don't

uh i think that when you look at uh okay oh my god yeah has it in them okay how do you know dude and then when the play like dude and then the players think they're such a dork, man. The players roll their eyes so hard. Dude, oh my God. My dad will listen, dude. It's so funny to be in the car with my dad when sports radio is on. Because he's like, every single thing. He's like like after the break

i'll tell you why the colts i want why i think the colts will be oh and three this weekend my dad's like after the break who the hell are you why am i waiting right right right why am i waiting for the commercials i can't wait what are you going to say that everybody hasn't already said 18 billion times oh the colts yeah i just don't think they're gonna be able to get any any pressure on patrick mahomes oh yeah really okay i'm taking that one to the bank baby all sports talk radio is is ways for guys to be able to small talk to each other at other venues it is you take what you listen to on sports talk radio and then when you're like at work at lunch at the office at a meeting in the break room you just say what those people say

and or at your father-in-law's with your dad like but you make it sound like you thought of it for sure i mean me and you that's like our cowherd brain right like we did that for years until it's just like who cares like yeah let's talk about maybe their uniforms and like just stuff. Nobody talks about, but it's true, dude. Sports radio is just prep for guys in conversations outside of like in the outside world. A hundred percent. And that's, that's like subconscious, like people don't realize it, but

subconsciously that's what it is. Yeah. Like if, if, if dudes listen to this right now stop and think about it if they're like flipping over from like you know their local like uh marty and mike in the evenings right mush marty some weird ass evenings right like who's marty and who's mush all i think about the whole time the jock and the bench warmer on the fan right like you're switching over from that you'll be like yeah i am listening to that just so it can kind of just be like i don't know man i don't know i don't know if they'll have uh the protection like dude come on shut the fuck up i hate all of it i know but yeah we should

listen to it right after this hey i find I find myself just like, it's comforting. It's like relaxing to listen to sports radio. I turn on the car. I'm like, yeah, I see what they're talking about. It's comforting as shit. Comforting as shit. My dad's always like, man, I can't stand dockage. I'm like, you listen to him.

You've listened to him every day for six years, bro. He's getting on my nerves. Okay, let me know in eight years. Bro, I think that's every dad. They just can't put him down. They just can't put the Docket. My dad loves Docket. See?

Every dad. It's turned him into like the biggest hater ever. Because Docket is just like a professional hater. He's good at it. But my dad just hates on everything now. Except for your dad. Every dad is a hater. Low key.

They love it. No, see, my dad, he'll listen to the nitty-gritty X's and O's podcast, and then he'll be like, Joe, I'm telling you, my guys, they've been saying, this running back, the change of pace that he brings in the offense, I'm like, I don't know, Dad. We're still rushing for like 42 yards a game. I don't think it's doing anything. And then I get to do that with my son, hopefully. Actually, I hope my son just like...

What is your son going to do, man? I don't know. I hope my son is just like the complete opposite of me in some ways. I hope he's just like in theater in high school and doesn't even give a rip about sports. And I can just be like, yeah, way to go, son. Excited for you. I don't have like jock around with your fucking dads you're usually the complete opposite of your dad i am anyway well kind of but see i'm like pretty much the exact same mold as my

dad so i'm like wondering if we're going to continue that trend or not the fifth bro frankie the fifth no so we'll see but being a dad's really super cool everything that everybody says you know i just look at him and i'm like how the fuck are you here this is wild how did that happen that happened okay uh-huh yeah man hey uh let's throw it back a little bit like some og espresso you want to go wow yeah never want to do anything more all right hashtag that's my cosplay which makes me think man i got a lot for this bro what are you gonna do for halloween does that cross your mind it's crossed my mind like dude i've been've been to like four Spirit Halloweens. Oh my God. You know,

that Spirit Halloween near us, it really came about like very, very early. Like weirdly early. But I didn't hate it. I was like, I want to go in there. I mean, we're talking like August. Spirit Halloween was up. You got to go early.

I'm like, hey now, now but yeah you do because you're going on it gets wiped and then they start jacking up their prices online you try to buy like a scream mask it's like 200 stupid right exactly and like that's where me and ben really go and get all of our props for all of our videos it's spirit halloween party city or party city dream Halloween... Party City, dude. Or Party City. Dream job. Dream job. Yeah. Halloween. Oh, absolutely, man. I'm like... Halloween has like... It's really risen on the holiday chart.

Oh, we're talking like media power rankings. Like every podcast has like their tier talk or like their top five list like we used to. Like everybody has one, right? Uh-huh. It's the best. It's the best. Halloween is up there. Yeah.

I mean, it's so funny as my sister and my brother-in-law hate halloween i'm like i don't even like i i think they think because of like the partying and stuff i'm like it's not even that dude i just love the feeling feel dude it's the weather it's it's getting there it's it's it's just like your uh your appetizer to the holidays. Oh, yeah. And all the shit that we love, we're like on like CBS NFL. They'll have like, with like ghosts coming up. The Fox robot like raking leaves. Yes.

That's what it's all about. I know, dude. It's not about dressing up as Austin Powers and blacking out at your buddies for two straight weekends. Same costume two weekends in a row. How about when Halloween's like on that weird day and you don't know what weekend to celebrate it?

It's like on a Wednesday and you're like, so is it the weekend before or after? Always before. Always before. And there's always the guy in the group that's trying to do it after as well. Dressing up for Halloween after Halloween. Every friend group.

Yeah. Every friend group has like if the halloween's on tuesday i think it might be on i think it's on a monday this year right that's the weekend right there boom weekend before that's it but there's always the one in the friend group that's like hey we can still do like you know we're gonna have the halloween bash the next weekend because that weekend's gonna be full i'm like nope missed it missed it done bro not dressing up in November. Put the costume. Ew. Yeah, November 3rd

throwing on fucking bumblebee outfit. For what? Three blind mice in November. Kill me. How many girls did that in college? Oh my God. Three blind mice. They're still doing it, bro. There's like three costumes for girls. Right. So we are we being brad salt this

year spice girls number one costume for girls right so let's get julia we we have our sunglasses on and that means we're the blind mice yeah but you don't have anything else on right but we're the blind mice because we have the glasses on or you know we have way too many girls in our group this year why don't we just be m&ms all right cosplay what is this uh what does that mean what are you gonna be it's just like what do you dress up as like like uh like you know there's like comic con i know what cosplay means thanks wyatt um no problem but what i didn't and i looked it up, but what I because cosplay is like a big thing and like the fantasy like the Star Wars communities, right? Like if you go to a convention, everybody there, if you're not cosplay, it's

you're the minority, like everybody's dressed up as like the Mandalorian or Boba Fett or Darth Vader or like Princess Leia from Return of the Jedi. or Darth Vader or like Princess Leia from Return of the Jedi. So I'm familiar with cosplay, but I'm wondering if this hashtag is like, what would like if people were going to cosplay as you? That's my cosplay. I don't know.

It just made me think of dressing up. Let's do it. Let's do that. What's up? Not to take over your show. I don't care. But let's do it. That's my cosplay. Hijack the show.

That's my cosplay. And it's what if people were like, oh, I'm cosplaying as Ben Polizzi, like what would they wear? Yeah, God. I'm just trying to think of my everyday outfit. Maybe. Oh, maybe they just dress up like a woman. Well, yeah, because his black wig. Yeah yeah there you that's what i'm saying uh if if if someone was dressing up as me they would just dress up as the dr pepper guy a little sweet dude that's it that's it dude what are you and it'd just be the dr pepper guy and they'd be like ben polizzi i. I'm the Dr. Pepper guy, but also Ben Polizzi. Also FBoy

Island nice guy, Ben Polizzi. Oh, yeah. They'd just be me from FBoy Island with a leather jacket on. Salmon shorts, no shirt. Unbuttoned shirt. Bro, I wish I could have. Oh, my God. The whole experience getting ready for that show just

sucked. Well, it was good. It was good and bad. My cosplay for me, pretty simple. Black jeans, probably a Steeler shirt, black hat. Logo right here. Yeah. Glasses. Yep. Pretty simple.

White sneakers. Bang. Nothing too crazy. Or tweeted about it this morning. Could go with like black shorts, long sleeve workout shirt, hat. So comfortable, man. Shorts and long sleeves. Just feels like you, you know?

Exactly. This is the most of me I've ever been. But what would I choose to cosplay if I really could? Mandalorian, full on. Give me the whole deal, the armor, the best car. I got to see what this looks like. I know what it looks like, but I got to see what's going on here. Oh, yeah, brother.

Get that going. People have it knocked out of the park. They look just like it. How do they build that shit? The cosplay people, they really look like Avengers and stuff like that. I'm like, what? Oh, yeah. They have a whole Iron Man suit.

I'm like, where did you get that? That'd be so dope. So dupe. So dupe, bro. I might have had a stroke. Oh yeah, so dupe. So dupe. You liked

this so much, you literally lost your mind. You liked it so much, you turned Swedish. That's my dream is to be able to cause that oh shit sorry it's it's it's super doper cosplay as a Mandalorian and have Frank as baby Yoda. Dream, sign it up, bang, bang, over, done. Yeah. Hashtag tips to annoy your spouse.

Where do I start? I looked into this so differently. What's the thing that Riley just gets so pissed at you for that you just over and over again? I know there's like something that's just oh yeah no so you know i think part of becoming a dad and getting close to 30 is you have to watch everything with closed captions on right you're watching a movie or tv show like you need the closed caption because it's the audio itself like you're like you lost you need to have the

comfort of the closed caption there to know where you're on. I hate it when it's late, though. Like I was watching something last night and I was like, what the... Always late and like in the places you need closed captions, it's always late. Like if you're watching... At a bar. At a bar at like the hospital. That already happened.

Oh my God. At the fucking hospital. Why is it always delayed at the hospital? That's where I need the... Yeah, come on. At the fucking hospital. Why is it always delayed at the hospital? That's where I need the... Yeah, come on. At the waiting room? You're not going to blare the sound in the waiting room. Everything's late. Makes no sense, but...

Runs for a touchdown. Ten minutes later, touchdown. I'm like, what the fuck? Let's speed it up here. Caption, you think there's a guy back there? I always thought that. No, I think there's got to be some software. The world's fastest world's fastest i know he's the oldest guy ever because they're always late it's somebody's grandpa back there like fuck didn't learn home row didn't learn home row and

typing class they didn't even have typing class so they're still chicken pecking it bang that's why we were just talking about this this dude hasn't this dude can't type bro you don't know home row dude i don't know anything about typing two fingers types of two dude like the most tech barbarian he's like he types like your dad why your dad probably knows it talks like my dad dude that that's the that's the i think that's the most important thing that i learned in high school it was probably college i know it doesn't make any sense how to just freaking if anybody blinders on in typing class oh yeah that thing they put over the keyboard so you couldn't start to feel like a fucking jedi master when like i didn't when i was like yeah throw them on but i knew exactly what i was typing maybe i should be a secretary

anyways captioning though so when the closed captions right when like it's just like somebody kind of yelling or like i don't know maybe're singing, but it's like not the words. They're just kind of humming around. It'll say like male vocalizing. That's like the closed caption. So Raya always gives me shit because she's always like, that's you. You're always vocalizing. You're always just kind of like.

Oh, always doing, always saying something. Or I'll just like in the kitchen. Yeah, or I'll just like kind the kitchen yeah or i'll just like kind of like say a movie line out loud to myself and laugh and she so now it's gotten the point where she's like you're vocalizing and i'm like i know so sometimes she just needs me to shut the fuck up yeah that's good it's your job bro or like sneezing he's a talker you sneeze too loud can you with the sneezing so pissed off i sneezed. You sneeze too loud. Can you with the sneezing? I got so pissed off. I sneezed. I was trying to take like a video and I

sneezed and I fucked the whole video up and I was like, oh my God. Yeah, I'd say that's a thing that like, no, but like in my, you know, our anniversary is on Wednesday, three years, and it's like my three years, that's what I've noticed is just like your spouse, especially if it's, you know, a man, woman,

wife, they don't like you to do just natural bodily functions, especially if it's a man, woman, wife, they don't like you to do just natural bodily functions. Like if you sneeze, can you... What is this to do? So annoying though. Do you really... You couldn't hold that fart? No.

It's natural. It's natural. What am I supposed to do? Stop the car, pull it over. Seven years ago, it would have been funny and fine. Stop the car, pull it over. Seven years ago, it would have been funny and fine. Stop the car, pull over, run down the interstate. Just rip an ass.

I would. Anytime I leave any social gathering, I'm like, I hope nobody's following me. Sound like I'm blowing into a seashell. The magic conch. It sounds like the USS Farts pulling up in the port of Miami. Every chick just pissed, just yelling at you. Oh, God. Yeah, those are the tips for me.

Yeah. Watching Family Guy at past tips for me. Yeah. Watching Family Guy at past like 8 p.m. What happens there? She's just like, it's just so bright. Wow. So like loud and colorful. I love that. I'm like, yeah, but it's funny.

That's a little too much. What do you mean it's a little too much? I got to go with you on that one. She can't get you for that, bro. Yeah, I know. Come on. Family guy? Dude, I've never met...

It's a TV. I've never met a... Right. I've never met a female who likes family guy. Every female I've ever been around is always just like, it's so annoying. I think they don't want to admit it. And then I'm like, you watch Friends every fucking

day. It's the worst. Friends isn't funny. How about this? My wife and my mother-in-law tried to tell me that Friends is just like Seinfeld. I about filed the paperwork right there. What was

there like? What did they have? But then I was just like, you know what? It's just like for women, friends is their Seinfeld. And I know there's my mom. Your sister loves Seinfeld, right? Like I know that it goes both ways, right? But when I'm talking just generally yeah chicks would definitely side more with are you more of a friends fan or seinfeld fan yeah one or two okay

oh she just said two oh seinfeld that's good i just made that up oh but anyways generally you're gonna get to where the ladies are more friends right right? And they'll kind of steer away from Seinfeld. And so it's just, it was really frustrating. Now we're getting off on a whole tangent about that. But that's, hey, tips for how to annoy me as a spouse. Say that friends is Seinfeld. That's crazy. You just don't know enough about both shows to say that.

A little naive. Like how often, I I mean just friends god dang man who cares about it so you want to watch you know it sucks though seven is like you would be on like today's version of friends

oh don't you think tracks and shit exactly like Chandler and I would love it a chandler and you have to watch it because i was on it i know chandler and joey just constantly just the most set up jokes ever oh yeah yeah i know just just you can see all the punch lines coming but whatever uh hashtag odd vending machine purchases fruit snacks you ever bought fruit snacks from odd vending machine purchases Fruit snacks You ever bought fruit snacks from a vending machine?

I never I'm always like damn that would be good But I'm just not in the mood for it I did that at the hospital When I was waiting on Frank What kind? Welch's See what it was

It was like Was that a big bag? Yeah it was a big bag Those are insane I know and it was like 9.30 in the morning So I was like what kind of psycho gets skittles at night I mean besides me normally but I was just like you are skittles guy I love skittles wrong on skittles never change love skittles and I was like you know it's like 930 fruit

snacks are kind of the only like comparable thing that I'm like yeah I could pass for like some semblance of a breakfast i guess yeah so i got that big old bag of fruit snacks and it's the heft it's like heavy and pretty full yeah yeah it's not like one of the ones like the no that little bitch ass square one like gushers normally like that amount it's like more it's like family size that's dangerous when you got a full bag of like fruit snacks pop tarts also pretty much anything that you're like i could kind of eat this for breakfast coming out of a vending machine weird yeah different pop tart like packaging you know they're not the silver it's like the it's like the standalone pop tart packaging you're like whoa they're allowed to do this yeah

they're the weird adopted stepchildren of pop tarts you know weird it's always brown cinnamon sugar oh and you can't you know right there's not like a toaster there to warm them up so like i'm They're the weird adopted stepchildren of Pop-Tarts. It's so weird. It's always brown cinnamon sugar. And you can't, you know, right? There's not like a toaster there to warm them up. So you're like, I'm just eating cold freaking hospital. Just raw dog and Pop-Tarts. Raw dog and vending machine hospital Pop-Tarts. Come on.

It's always the Austin crackers, man. I always get guilty. I'm like, I want the Twix, but it's too early in the day to eat a Twix, you know? So I just get the fruit the i'll get like 10 trail mixes i'll just buy the whole row just smash dude dude what about like the the ones that have like the big big cinnamon like the big texas roll dude that thing's like 89.99 you're like damn i don't have enough cash to buy this thing. I'm going to overdraw my account trying to get a big Tex roll. Dude, one of those things staring at you, always in the bottom row.

Look at this guy reviewing one, of course. Oh, you know what? I'd probably watch that. Because, hey, who's buying this? Honestly, bro, who's buying this? Whoa, whoa, whoa. Dude, everybody in my high school. Everybody in my high school, this is all we ate.

The cinnamon roll is so good, but what I'm saying is they're throwing it in a vending machine. It makes it even... You want it more. And then, like you said, it's always like $5, which in vending machine dollars, it's like, good Lord, max out my credit card, I guess. Hey, look at this down here to the left. Are those like it's

like here up right, right, right, that right there. these cousins these is this is family jumbo honey bun the things i would do all the white ice come on talk to me talk to me talk to me baby talk to me dude anything with white icing oh it's such a like weird height like the weird kid that drank mountain dew in your high school would always have the white iced honey bun. Yep. White iced honey bun.

And it'd be like wet. Thing of Mountain Dew and Osiris shoes. Yeah, dude. Like he was murking on video games all weekend. Look at that. That's the crispiest. That's the only PNG that should be on the internet. Holy shit. Dude, I just want to throw that at a car forNG that should be on the internet. Holy shit,

dude. I just want to throw that at a car for some reason. Oh, the noise it would make. It would just stick to the side and never, it wouldn't move till like fucking Christmas. Just having a honey bun on the side of your car. Bro,

you remember, you remember when we were like thinking about approaching like IndyCar being like, Hey, can we throw cake donuts at the car? Oh, shit. All right. How about this? Pitching ideas.

Okay. So we're with this donut company. What do you say? You drive by and we just pelt your IndyCar with donuts. Who's not watching that? Dude. Oh, really? They threw donuts at his car yeah bro it wasn't even the car we want to throw my people oh bro standing on a stage on carb day on carb standing on a stage with just boxes of dozens of donuts and there's people in the crowd and you're just

whipping donuts at them no one would get get mad. Because it's a donut. Cake donuts. Fuck. Oh, shit. The density. Jelly belt? Yeah. The density of them, right?

You could launch one of those, man. The donut that's like the stick. Throw it. It's a boomerang. Oh, my God. Went to Krispy Kreme in Times Square. Best moment of my life. Krispy Kreme.

Oh, wow, dude. Live action. Look at my man smiling right there. Isn't that so good? Hey. Yeah, that's awesome. That's insane. Update from mom. Frankie.

What a handsome guy. All right, let's do a couple more things. Dude, throwing donuts, that's all I want to do. Man. Right at the back of somebody's head, dude. Just brick them, dude. Oh, thanks, bro. Wouldn't even...

Cream filled? It's custard? Oh, thanks, man. Donut fight. Please. Any donut company that's like opening up a new store and wants to like get just a wacky promotion, please, me and Ben.

Dodgeball with donuts. Bring us in. Dodgeball with donuts. And it would be awesome. You'd get so much pub. People would be pissed. But also people would think it was hilarious. And people would be like,

I want to go to that place where they throw donuts at people. Throw nuts is what we'll call it. Dude, come on. Come on, somebody. Marketing God right there. That's amazing. All right. Let's do days of the week.

Da-da-da-da. Days of the week. Thursday. Okay. National White Chocolate Day. Hmm. Yeah, it's grown on me. I just don't know, man.

I just don't know. What do you mean you don't know? The white chocolate Hershey's, the cookies and cream. I just can't get behind it fully for some reason. I feel like something's going on. That cookies and cream bar, it kind of hurts my teeth a little bit, but at the same time, I'm like, oh. I mean, look at that.

That's amazing. I know. But think about. I think I like it so much that I'm kind of a hater. Think about Christmas time. Pretzels and melted white chocolate. I mean... Yeah, you want it way more than the pretzel stick

dipped in chocolate, chocolate, milk chocolate. You want the white one. Give me the white, the regular, just traditional looking pretzel fully dipped into melted white chocolate. Come on. You're right white one. Give me the white, the regular, just traditional-looking pretzel, fully dipped into melted white chocolate. Come on. You're right, bro. It does hit different during Christmas.

Yeah. I like the pretzel rods dipped in, like, fudge and all that shit with sprinkles on it. You ever have that? You know, I've never been a pretzel rod guy. I love just, like, the regular, traditional pretzel. It does taste totally different. Throw it in.

Pretzel rods. Oh, man. I could eat a whole pack of thatzel. Throw it in. Pretzel rods. Oh, man. I could eat a whole pack of that shit. I could literally. That little, that Snyder's or that Utz. Yeah, you would house that. Utz, Utz. Those right there.

Those right there. Yeah. Utz, Utz, Utz. I think Riley made those specifically for you at the Christmas party. Oh, dude, I'll take those down. Yeah. Oh, my God, Far Left. Rolled Gold. Yeah, I think Rolled Gold is down. Yeah. Oh, my God, far left. Rolled gold?

Yeah, I think rolled gold is definitely the best version of the rod, in my opinion. Rolled gold. If we're talking pretzel companies, it's probably rolled gold than Snyder's. Yeah. Actually, I think Snyder's invented the pretzel pieces, the barbecue ones and shit. They kind of look like foot.

They're just all crunched up in the bag. It's like somebody ran over a pretzel bag with their car. Pretzel rods for gender reveal? What the fuck are we doing? Who likes pretzels that much? That's one of the Google searches. Pieces, dude. What?

Yeah, the honey mustard flavors. Oh, God. Oh, the buffalo wild wings. Yeah, wow. Yeah, those are nice. It's just like you're eating a bunch of wood chips. But they're flavored, so it's fine. They're just the wood chips are just a vehicle for the flavor.

Mm-hmm. Now, what about, hey, now what about the ones that look like kind of like a fucking football? You know, they're like, I don't even know what they're, like, I really don't know how else to describe them. They're pretzels, but they're. I don't know. what they're like. I really don't know how else to describe them. They're pretzels, but they're... I don't know. Why do you know? Just... Put pretzel...

You think they're a Snyder operation? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Operation. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, they're just... They're like the cluster, but they're more fully formed. It's like a calzone of a pretzel. Pretzel clusters.

I like that cluster. Cluster might be that keyword that takes us to the promised land. SEO, baby. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. I can't even look at this shit. What are these called? The first time I saw a take five. I was like, oh, turtles.

Is that what they're called? Turtles are amazing. Hold up. I thought they were like turtle knuckles or something. The first time I saw a take five, the candy, I was like, ah! Oh, turtles. Is that what they're called, turtles? Turtles are amazing. Hold up. I thought they were like turtle knuckles or something. Knuckle. Yeah, you throw knuckle and I'm eating it. Is this what you're talking about?

No, no, no. God, this is going to drive me nuts, bro. I'll never be talking about food again. What the hell are they? Hey, I know they're Snyder's because they have that little, you know, Snyder says that little see-through part of the bag. Type in football. That window. Yeah, they've got the window to suck you in.

Is that it? No. Hold on. Oh, wait, wait, wait. Here we go. Here we go. No. Damn, I don't know.

This is terrible audio here. People are probably screaming in their car. No, somebody knows what you're talking about. Yeah is terrible audio here. People are probably screaming in their car. No, somebody knows what you're talking about. Yeah, I know. It's like, it's called the... Right, that's exactly what I'm saying. Football-shaped pretzels. God.

Hold on. Exit out of this big picture because I think it might have been... We're getting close here. That peanut butter filled one? It's not the peanut butter filled. It's not the peanut butter filled. Those change the game, though. Yeah, they do.

Go to the Snyder's peanut butter filled. Where are they at? No, to the right, to the right, to the right. Left Peanut Butterfield. Where are they at? No, to the right. To the right. To the right. Left, left, left, left, left, left. Filled pieces right there. Filled pieces.

Image coming soon. What are we doing? Oh, my God. What are we waiting for? Ooh. I think that's about... They might just be pretzel pieces, maybe. I think that's what we just talked about, though.

No, no, no, no, no. They look like footballs. I don't know. I'm over it. I'm done. I can't. It's going to drive me nuts. Oh, no. They look like footballs. I don't know. I'm over it. I'm done. I can't. It's going to drive me nuts. Oh, wait.

Are they a whole shape? They have like... Right when you got over it, I juiced you up again. It's like in a football form, but they have kind of like, you know... Combos. Don't get me started on combos, bro. Don't get me started on combos. Combos is on another podcast. Combos on combos, bro. Don't get me started on combos. Combo's on another podcast.

Combos are different, bro. Try that... Hey, the... Oh, shit. Pretzel sandwiches? That's wild. Hey, go to left, left, left, down. That right there.

Up, left, right. Braided twists. Wait a second. There we go. The Kirkland. Oh, those Kirkland, like those peanut butter, like little. Is that what you're talking about? Nope.

Nope. Still not. I don't know. This is a weird childhood memory that I guess I'm just the only one. Okay. What's inside the pretzel? There's nothing. It's just a pretzel.

It's just like a hollow. Yeah. Let's move on. Let's move on. This is bad. This's just a pretzel. It's just like a... Yeah. Let's move on. Let's move on. This is bad. We might have to call it quits. This is bad radio. Let's just stop.

Damn it. Bad radio. Friday. Everything's about food. We already jumped to Friday? This was Thursday. Now we're going Friday. Okay.

Great American pot pie day. Or should we not do food? Because I got too often. It's just pot pie. Pot pie? What does that even mean? You ever had pot pie? Pot pie.

That was always the hot lunch that freaked me out. You know, there's always one hot lunch. You don't eat pot pie unless it's your mom that cooked it. There's too much. Right. There's too much. I didn't like the little chopped up corn pieces in there. The corn got you. It's always the corn pieces and the much. Right. There's too much. I didn't like the little chopped up corn pieces in there. The corn got you.

It's always the corn pieces and the peas. No. I love that shit. No. I know you would. You'd like individually like eat. Yeah, I'd scoop more like from the other pieces in the pot pie thing and put them on my plate. I can see where this would be good.

See, that's gross that they just like sell at meyer but if your mom made some pot pie sure pot pie is always 7 000 degrees oh yeah you're like oh you can't eat pot pie till next thursday right takes out of the oven okay it'll be ready on saturday it's tuesday dude whoa pot pie might be something i uh see i just love that like breaded kind of fucking topping. The crust. God, yeah, the crust. That's so good.

People that don't eat crust. Do you eat crust? Oh, yeah. Like crust on pizza? Fuck yeah. Dude, the people that aren't eating crust, I'm like, you're worthless. What are you, seven years old? I mean...

You want to just... Hey, I like cheese pizza and I don't want the crust. Have some respect. Has a fucking soda ring around their mouth. I don't want the crust. I don't want the cross to cheat pizza. Your tongue's blue and you're not eating crust. Jesus Christ. Let me get you a coloring book.

Learn your states and capitals. Montana. Helena. Nice. Let's go. That's our game we play. That's awesome. Hey, where'd this guy go to college?

That and states and capitals. Where'd TJ Huchmanzada go to college? It's that or... Oregon State. Oregon State, why? We should just do a podcast where like every 15 seconds a bell goes off and we have to like say like...

Or like Wyatt is like looking it up and like throws it out there and then yeah, that would be fun. Every... Aaron Rodgers. Cal. But he also went to that weird Juco. Damnco damn see that's the one i wanted right there davante adams fresno state oh that's good because who would have thought pairs with derrick carr

saturday jeff saturday north carolina Carolina. Sky. How much does every mom love Jeff Saturday? You know, it's still Jeff Saturday and Brett Favre. Most two love football players of all time. Every mom thinks Brett Favre is hot. Brett Favre is a little hot. He's a little hot water right now.

He always is. Look at why it's spelled with the R in front of the V uh just trying to get the job done that's so funny that's right but like no you're right it's like just fucking put the r in front of the what's happening with brett farve's name dude i think he like scammed a bunch of people out of some yeah dude he's in big trouble right now he's always he's always yeah he's that's why the moms like him because he's always got that media buzz around him, dude. He's staying hot. Yeah, he did this thing where he donated five...

To the volleyball? Yeah. Brett Favre's an idiot. Donated $5 million until it was supposed to be like welfare in Mississippi, but it was a secret funnel to fund a volleyball arena. Such a Brett Favre move. God dang. Dude, Brett Favre move. God dang. Dude, Brett Favre's a drama king.

And then, of course, there's like Texans like, I know where you're going to find out about this, right? And they're like, no, no. You just want to hang out with Brett Favre, even though he's just kind of a piece of shit. Like, dude, him as a quarterback is so funny. It's just, it's like out of a factory, right? Like a guy named Brett, and his last name farve spelled that way from mississippi dude he might be an alien that like

came here like and they fucked up his last name you know like it didn't register right no he's just call him farve as far he's total he's a total just out of a factory, man. Bro, the funniest thing ever, that story about Brett Favre not knowing any defensive scheme. Oh, yeah. And they're like, well, if you got two high safeties here and one rolls down the nickel package, he goes, what the fuck is the nickel package?

That's when they bring another defensive back into the secondary. He goes, who gives a shit? See, that's but that's all the shittiness goes, who gives a shit? See, but that's... All of the shittiness aside, that is what made Brett Favre...

That's so funny. I just didn't know. All the moms thought he was cute and hot and it was America's sweetheart. And then all the guys, they didn't hate him like you'd hate Tom Brady because he's so – now I'm getting my cowherd level on.

Brett Favre, everybody's just like, oh, yeah, he's just like us. I could drink a beer with Brett Favre. He don't know defenses just like I don't know defenses. But he's out there doing it. And my wife likes him, so, yeah, we love Brett Favre. We named our dog Brett. We named this one Brett and the other on Favre. Favre. That's what my kid calls him.

And that was the magic behind Brett Favre, dude, right there. And now he's just sending unsolicited dick pics. Gunslinger. Yeah. Dude, he just didn't give a shit. He would throw a pic like just a devastating interception. I thought it was so funny. End of the game. time's running out.

Fourth and two just throws a pick six. The 2009 NFC Championship. Yeah, the Vikings like cost him the Super Bowl through just an absolutely horrible cross-body interception. What the hell? All the things that the color commentators are like, yeah, that's exactly what you're taught not to do.

Don't run across the middle late, Brett. And the Minnesota Vikings broadcaster, he was going nuts. He's like, what are you doing, man? This is the Super Bowl. And Brett Favre was just like, you know, I'm just going to go watch myself. And along came Paulie and, you know, just flash my wiener to somebody. So weird.

Scam a whole city. Brett Favre, dude. Brett Favre, the most owned jersey where you would tuck the jersey into the jeans. Brett Favre. Everybody had a Favre. I did. And you tuck it in, right?

Packers, dude. Just Brett. Dude. Brett Favre welfare fraud. Hey, dude, how his helmet never changed. Oh, my God. Played 20,000 years. Had the same helmet from 1992.

They just painted over his college helmet. That's his high school helmet. They just kept painting it over. No pads in the helmet at all. His chin strap, just kept painting it over no no pads in the helmet at all his chin strap just like the first chin strap ever it's like really made of like cow leather dude he would whip that thing off so hard right after the whistle is blown chin strap off every play dude sometimes he would be under center hot hot he wouldn't even have his chin strap you'd have it to where he would bring it around and clip it to that side.

One button. Yeah. Dude, what? Like, look at him, man. It's so funny. If Brett Favre walked in here right now, I'd laugh for two days straight. And then take a picture with him to send to your dad. No, to your mom.

Look! Oh, my God. Where is that? That's what she would say all right it's uh sunday no dude i want to keep talking about all right me too dude just was he born with salt and pepper hair he never didn't have salt and pepper hair bro just like in eighth grade rocking salt andN-Pep? Brett, dude. The most like, yeah, I'll have it.

I'll pop a Miller Lite while watching film in my Wranglers. God, dude. This is just every jeans commercial ever. What's the song? Brett Favre is denim. Like he's just jeans, man. He's a human body. He's a human form of jeans. Denim.

Every Wrangler commercial that song's on. Hey, how much pickup football does Brett Favre play on the side? He'll just fucking drive his truck down the country road and there's a pickup football game going on. Hey, let me hop in. You need one more? Hot, hot, hot. Dude, the most played song on Brett F farve's top 25

on his itunes is bad to the bone he's driving in his truck with his one song with his fucking golden retriever right next to him just like yeah that's right honey we are look at him bro look at him like would you would you ever know he was in the NFL? Feel bad for the rest of the guys in that picture slicing their fucking heads off. No, you're not important. You just stand there with your jeans. You would never

think he was a Hall of Fame. Is he in the Hall of Fame? Yeah. Of course. That's right, Brett. Dude, look at these guys playing pickup football with Brett Favre. All wearing the same shirts and shit. Dude, Brett Favre fucking goes out and just

absolutely whistles like a 95 mile an hour football at his kid. Whistles, dude. Implants it in his chest. Kid goes to the hospital. Like just, he's like Tim McGraw from Friday Night Lights. Just like kicking out the window throwing footballs at his kid because he's

not as good as him. Look at that, dude. Hey, the truck pic. Go down. Down left. Yeah. That's on SNL, man. That's Jason Zadakis on SNL. Oh, they made fun of him? Oh, yeah. So funny. The one with him sitting on the bed of the truck. Oh, they made fun of him? Oh, yeah. So funny.

No, the one with him sitting on the bed of the truck. Oh, that's a senior pick. To the left. Of course, it's Granny. 59% off. Jesus. A little specific there, Wrangler. 59.26.

Dude, just didn't give a shit to at the end of his career when he was just like, I'm done. Oh, he retired and came back like 17 times. I can't do it anymore every time I come back to a new team. Jets. Next year, Vikings. Same thing.

Hey, be hotter. Be hotter, Brett Favre. Just like, yeah. Just telling... Oh my... He's jacked. Why is he jacked now? Of course he is. Definitely on steroids.

Just some shady shit. Brett Favre, dude. Oh, yeah. Not even steroids. Is he like an actor? Now he's starting to look like the Dan Blazerian guy. Are they the same guy? Always a scandal.

No, dude. Brett Favre is his dad. Brett Favre created Dan Blazerian. Same guy. Oh, my God. It's him. Yeah, his dad's Brett Favre. That's why Dan Blazerarian is so obviously insecure

and has to flaunt all this stuff because his dad is Brett Favre and he just fucking abused him mentally. Oh, it doesn't even mention him. He just buried it so far down that now he just has to pay for top tier pussy. That's him, right, from that soundbite, isn't it? This is just insane. This guy's fake, bro. It's a fake person. Oh, right, from that sound bite, isn't it? This is just insane. This guy's fake, bro. It's a fake person.

Oh, yeah, absolutely. All right, I don't want to talk about Dan Brazarian. Brett Favre's fun, though. Can't say his last name. Who knows? Sunday. We can go National Lobster Day. We can go One Hit Wonder Day.

We can go National Quesadilla Day, you pick. I always want a quesadilla. Every time we do that, it just leaves so hungry. Good Lord. Quesadilla. God, quesadilla. I pick i always want every time we do that just leave so hungry good lord quesadilla god case i mean that that's it's the number one mexican entree you get a little bit of everything and then you can just customize i mean it's like subway for for mexican places it's a way they fold it and slice that shit so you're just eating a triangle eating a triangle so it's like pizza away sandwich because you can customize it and then you get

all the goods of the Mexican flavor. Oh my God. And it's always like, it's like bites. Oh, come on. Wow. Wyatt, this is,

you're torturing me. Dipping that in salsa? It's just, come on, man. It's ridiculous, dude. You ever get the quesadilla from Taco Bell and the two,

the ones on the end don't have any meat or cheese in them. They're just pieces of tortilla. You're really kind of like. I'm like, I kind of want it. That right there, man. Quesadilla on Sunday.

Perfect. I know we're doing football Sunday. Quesadilla. Why do I always want Mexican food on Sunday night? Yeah. It's a great football dish. Like, I mean. For some reason.

You got snacks. You got great food. Dude. That looks like pizza in quesadilla form. is it is it's a five minute pepperoni okay right is that is that just a pizza turned upside down i think so upside down fold it over you take the pizza and you fold it over oh yeah that's a big move that's hilarious i'm always curious how people eat their pizza when they're hungry i always watch which sounds creepy but like, but some people do the Martinsville fold. Some people do the... Yeah, you got to Big Daddy fold it, man.

You have to play that song while you do it, too. If you don't think I'm teaching my son how to eat pizza like that, you don't. Yeah, right. You got to play that song during every dad son moment when i grow up one hit wonder day though man there's a lot of good probably that song we're just saying yeah there's a lot of good music that you listen to and you're like wow I remembered at the exact moment the exact

place I was in time in my life when I heard this song and it was like popular and then you never hear from ever again and you completely forget about the song until like your iPod or iPhone shuffle is on your yeah yeah like hey there Delilah hey there motherfucking Delilah. Big in like 06, 07, I think, maybe. It's gone. Never heard from any of those people ever again. Hey, how about a time that you remember where you were when Michael Jackson died?

Uh-huh. Where were you? I was at the Speedway gas station off of Madison and Southport. It's a good gas station. Madison and Southport. Eh. Could be better ones, but Speedway. I can't even think of it.

I don't even know if it's there anymore, actually. But yep, that's where I was. Everybody knows, bro. I was working out at UND. Okay. There you go. There it is. That's it, baby.

That's the show? That's the Spressyressy podcast shot 229 og spress oh yeah i forgot to tell you it's joey molinaro on the podcast oh hey guys yeah follow him instagram twitter tiktok youtube everything cameo no i'm not on there anymore really i just got tired of it dude it's a chore bro it's a fucking chore but uh yeah request me on came. It's a chore, bro. It's a fucking chore, man. But yeah, request me on Cameo. It's a good chore, but it's... It's tough, man. Because to make that funny and people are like, he likes...

It's his birthday. Say hi. And you're like, anything else about him? Yeah, right. The descriptions. Just give me a hobby. You know, something. And then just the voices and the fucking...

Oh, yeah. They hit you up for those impressions hard. You should be charging like a thousand a cameo, dude. Yeah, I'm good. Sorry. But yeah, hit Ben up. Hit Ben up. At Joey Molinaro on everything.

But yeah, remember to get your merch at benedictmerch.com. Got your Who's Buying This hoodies. Got your Feeling Glonky hats. Got your Indiana Land shirts. All that. And subscribe to the Patreon. Join the Patreon. $5 a month for an extra episode every single week.

But okay. Wow. $5 for four extra pieces of content? It's a door buster, baby. That's nice right there. That's real good. All right. Talk to you guys next week.

Peace. Hi, fam.