Espresso - cone tiddies

Episode Date: July 7, 2021

🚨OG ESPRESSO🚨 Ben has Barstool's @JoeyMulinaro on the pod to discuss the Spress question of the week: biggest mistakes you've made but didn't want to admit (ˡⁱᵏᵉ ᵖᵘᵗᵗⁱ���ᵍ ᵃ ᵇᵒᵒᵍᵉʳ ᵒⁿ ᵗʰᵉ ᵗⁱᵖ ᵒᶠ ʸᵒᵘʳ ⁿᵒˢᵉ) they discover how terrifying flea markets are and realize every corporate guy that's over 30 has cone titties & is exactly the same person. They rate the grossest phrases "drop trout" "liquor coat, "run hot", and breakdown the "YOU'RE NOT THAT GUY PAL" viral video, Ben and Joey go through their questions for God, analyze Mark Wahlberg's daily schedule and come to conclusion that they 100% both want to be used car salesmen, then they go #ViViViViral and do #DaysOfTheWeek but you already knew that 😎 UPCOMING SHOWS: Helium Comedy Club, Indianapolis, IN July 14 8pm White Lake Yacht Club, Whitehall, MI July 17 8pm Sterling Event Center, Greenwood, IN July 30 8pm 𝐒𝐔𝐁𝐌𝐈𝐓 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐎𝐖𝐍 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐐𝐔𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍 𝐎𝐅 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐖𝐄𝐄𝐊 dm ben on instagram (@benedictpolizzi) →→→ 𝗗𝗼𝗻'𝘁 𝗙𝗼𝗿𝗴𝗲𝘁 𝗧𝗼 𝗥𝗮𝘁𝗲 & 𝗥𝗲𝘃𝗶𝗲𝘄! 𝗦𝗲𝗻𝗱 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗵𝗼𝗺𝗶𝗲 𝗮 𝗖𝗮𝗺𝗲𝗼 𝗳𝗿𝗼𝗺 𝗕𝗲𝗻!: https://v.cameo.com/E48BXekQ29 𝗧𝗶𝗸𝗧𝗼𝗸: https://www.tiktok.com/@benedictpolizzi?source=h5_m 𝗬𝗼𝘂𝗧𝘂𝗯𝗲: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCXRwNZpU67AK24r5QGfIfCw 𝗜𝗻𝘀𝘁𝗮𝗴𝗿𝗮𝗺: https://www.instagram.com/benedictpolizzi/ 𝗧𝘄𝗶𝘁𝘁𝗲𝗿: https://twitter.com/benedictpolizzi

The Espresso Podcast is brought to you by Wave 1 Media. If you want to start your own show, visit thewave1.com. Show 166. 66, 66, 66. Oh, God. Angel Ascensia. This guy. This guy.

This guy. This guy. This guy. This guy. Johnson and Schmitty on your radio. Yeah. These guys, these guys are sweeter than potato. Yeah. I don't know what you shot.

166 Six Six Six Six Now we're going to hell for that Yo Johnson Schmitty In the mix

Yeah A mix like A vodka crayon Oh god Now I'm gonna pass it to Schmitty Cause If he can't do it Nobody can

Oh god Jesus Vodka crayon Straight to the dome Johnson Send me home Stumble Bumble Humble but nobody can. Vodka cheese. Vodka crayon straight to the dome. Johnson, send me home. Stumble bumble, humble bumble. Yeah, yeah.

I don't know where to go from here. We're at wave one. Yeah, wave one. Yeah, we're at wave one. And there's no one that raps like Schmitty. Schmitty's the guy. Getting real litty. Okay. At wave one.

What rhymes with one? Because I can't think of one. Thing to rap about. Jeez, but these guys are in the studio, aren't we? Huh? In the studio just trying to get to you, baby. Doot, doot, doot. That was hard, man.

People underestimate. That is tough. It's hard to sing it. Some people can just do man. People underestimate. That is tough. It's hard to sing it. Some people can just do it. I know. Some people can just do it like nothing. It's always good. That is an incredible talent.

It's so hard. It takes me like six takes to get one I'm not even proud of. I'm like, all right, whatever. I'm done. Yeah, no. That was definitely not one that I'm proud of. We were kind of, you know, it was, we sounded, the vocals sounded good on the mic, but the words did not sound good.

Shot 166 Espresso Podcast with Ben Plitz. We've got Joey Molinero in the studio, just sitting here. Yo. Follow him at Joey Molinero on all platforms. What's up, man? Dude, I wore this jersey for you today. Strictly for Johnson. I was getting, I was putting my clothes on and I was like,

shit, I don't want to wear anything too much. Then you walk in and I'm like, god damn it. I had like four different soccer jerseys. I was like, nah, I'll tone it down. So for those watching on YouTube, which you should, subscribe obviously to Ben Polizzi on YouTube to see all the videos from each shot. But you see the AI.

Where did you get that? And it's not just, I got it from a flea market. Flea market finds, dude. That's a real one, too. That's like a hashtag that I'm going to start. Flea market finds because I get the craziest shit from flea markets. And this is one of them. It's an AI, one of the blue joints.

76ers from like, this is the like Mike one. Nobody talks about that jersey, that 76ers blue. This is the Lil Bow Wow like Mike, Calvin Cambridge. What flea markets do you go to? Dude, you, I mean. Flea markets scare the shit out of me. I know, but once you get over that. I can't.

Look up, look up. Blue Sixers jersey. Yeah, like he's wearing it in the movie a little bow wow yeah it takes two to make a thing all right there we go that was like yeah yeah you're good but dude they're everywhere and like once you get over that fear of like i may not come out of here then you go in and you find something that you can't how come there's always like a room in a flea market that just sells all kinds of knives? Oh, dude, yeah.

That's it. But that's what... That shit goes so hard. Maybe best jersey of all time? Maybe, dude. I loved how they went with that, you know? Because the Sixers in the early 2000s, they went with kind of... They were like, look at that shit, dude.

It's so silky. Silky. That's crazy. But they went with the black and the and the white kind of thing but then they're like oh yeah we're philadelphia dude obviously flip flip flip philadelphia so we got to go with the red wine blue alternate let's just go back to that that's so nice but you're right that's kind of the the fun of going to a flea market is you don't know if you're gonna get killed you don't know if you're gonna find a killer item

exactly dude you go in there and one booth will have like crazy ass jerseys like this and like some dope memorabilia. And then the next one over, it's like. Yeah, dude. All night. It's lights and guns and shit. That is exactly it. That is the flea market, man.

That's a flea market experience. The name flea market too. I'm like, I'm good. Yeah. Fleas. It always makes my eyes itch for some reason. I'm going to get allergies if I go in. I'm going to get a rash if I go in the flea market like it's real dusty you know everything's dusty so you got to

kind of work with that you know make sure you take your clareton before you go in but dude half of my wardrobe now is just like shit that i find in there that you know i got like this uh i got this indy 500 trial party hat the other day huh yeah it's like a throwback like i don't know you probably won't be able to find it you probably i have a picture of it on my phone bro but it's uh look at this shit i'll show it to ben oh yeah that's not you can't find this yeah this is like uh yeah this is this is an ungoogleable item that's your kind that's your hat too it's like a trucker hat kind That fits your head. You're the only guy that can wear that.

Time trials, 20, or it doesn't say the year. It's for the Indianapolis Marion County Court time trial party. For the court? I got it for $2, bro. All rise. Yeah, I got it. What the fuck? They're just ditching out on court one day on like car bay and going getting fucked up at

the track like everybody else like court yeah bro that is weird indianapolis court number 15 it's got like a little bear on it for some reason 15 they label them like ips schools court 176 where's where are you at close for a two hour delay i'm at court number 15, dog. Ah, shit. I hate that judge there. Yeah, dude. IPS schools, 172. I'm like, what's their spirit wear look like? Is that a hoodie that says 172? That'd be pretty hard, though. That's not bad.

172 IPS Wildcats. Shit, I got so beyond this jersey and that hat that I found. You need to go. I'll take you to a flea market. Maybe we can do it. Let's go, vlog. Yeah, maybe we can do it. Let's go!

First ever espresso vlog and we just go to a fucking flea market or like an antique mall. I would love that. Antique malls already smell like shit to me. Well, I mean, they smell antique. They smell like in here, kind of. It's just got an old kind of musty smell. Dusty smell, dude. Yeah.

Everything's all rickety and... Yes. You don't know if you're going to fall through the floor, but there's one that's just right down the road. Fuck antique malls, bro. Dude. I'm already sneezing. Ben, there's one, though, in Edinburgh

that's right by where I got married. No, it's right behind the outlet mall, and that's where it's called. Yeah, there it is. Flea Market 76. Of course. It's where it's called. Yeah, there it is. Flea Market 76. Of course. It's a number, too. Yeah.

Exit 76. Court 15, IPS 172, exit 76. Hut, hut, hut, hut. Dude, it's unreal. And look at this. Like, all these booths. I love those booths. I got a Reggie Miller Flojo jersey there for like 50 bucks.

A real one? Yes, stitched. I mean, they have everything you want in there. That's where I see that they had a giant subway sign. Oh, fuck. I remember that, dude. I still want that shit. They ripped it off the outside of the subway, and they just put it in their booth.

And they had it available. Like a subway shop. Like a subway shop. booth like a subway like fat like sand like sub shop like a subway shot like a train no no no yeah not like train 184 like chips and drink subway like walk in that that subway i do that in normal subways but they have like that kind of they have all that we'll go down to that one one, and you'll mind to be blown. I wish we got that Subway sign. That's the most fucked up thing I just have on my wall in my room. It's still there.

It's still there. You check every day. No, whenever I go back, I'm like, Subway sign? Okay. Just leaving. I tell them when I walk out, I'm like, hey, before you sell that one, just make sure you hit me. There it is.

That's exactly what it looks like. Holy shit. I want that. That might be the one. I want that in my room right now. Look at that, bro. Like, they just ripped that, just defaced the subway and just left with it. Bro, we should get that and bring it in here and just slap it right there. Wave One Studios. I mean, Subway Studios.

That's it right there, man. That's so hard, bro. That's so hard. Oh, my God. Does it light up? Dude, imagine that above your bed. That's such a guy bro. That's so hard. Oh, my God. Does it light up? Dude, imagine that above your bed. That's such a guy thing. I know.

Dude, every girl listening to this podcast is like, what the fuck? Hey, I'll bring you home and give you a nice six-inch, baby. Hey, honey, I decorated the room. Oh, God. Oh, jeez. Do you want a footlong? Yeah. Oh, jeez.

I have some of my Italian meats on the six-inch here. Oh, God. You could upgrade to a foot long. Bring in Schmitty. Whoa. Oh, jeez. I got other big news, dude. I got other big news.

I was about to text it to you, but I knew I wanted to save it for this. Nervous. Woke up this morning. Checked my notifications. nervous woke up this morning checked my notifications yeah gotta follow from jerome bettis no yeah every time we got the ball and chris berman was anywhere near him the bus dude choo choo the dude how do you tackle him? Get off the tracks. The bus is coming through into my notifications.

I lived with DB in college. He was my roommate, and he had the most confidence in the world. But the only thing he didn't have confidence about was like, how the fuck do you tackle him? That's the only thing. He's like, I tackle anybody, Adrian, anybody, anybody, anybody. But I showed him a picture of him, and he's like, no. No. His knee to your fucking skull. You're dead. Adrian P anybody anybody anybody but I showed him a picture of him and he's like no I mean no his knee to your fucking skull you're dead what do you do why how is he fast automatic how's he fast

one time there was just like a like a behind the scenes like life of Jerome Bettis playing in a Kilroy's on mute and the whole bar was popping i wasn't talking to anybody i was just watching it the whole time on mute dude no captions i was just like 45 minutes dude then you want to go over to cross the street i was like not until this football life's over i'm going to school on the bus well i was kind of good on madden too every video game it's like damn because they knew it's just like, you know, if you're really fast or you break a lot of tackles in real life, you're going to be even faster and break even more tackles in a video game.

He's always like rating like 88 overall. When I got that follow, I just like reflected back and I was like, that fucking nickname. Jerome Bettis. Yellow and black. The bus? Jerome Bettis. Yellow and black. Yellow and black. The bus? Why is 36 such a bus number?

Bus 36. Here we go, bro. Number six. The most fucking bus number ever. Just, I mean. 36. I really don't think that nickname gets talked about enough. It's so perfect.

The bus. And it's just bus. His last name's Bettis. Everything's the bus and it's just his last name's bettis everything's perfect in the berg oh my god best nickname ever maybe so tight and what's so funny too is like if he came out now he'd be a center like literally they wouldn't even think about putting it they're like okay nose guard he's got you know kyber be like guys got quick feet you like him at the center position be able to get leverage, and then like –

Too technical. Yeah, like he'd be a D tackle or a center. And then back then they were just like, nope, biggest guy in the field, give him the rock. How do you – So I knew you'd be excited about that, so I wanted to save that for the show. Deaf favorite player growing up. Big time, yeah.

I got the baseball Steelers jersey, Jerome Bettis. And I was like, I about DM'd him. I was like, yo, man. Yeah. Can you sign this and send it back? You got to pay for shipping now. Actually, just take it here and you're boss. How's your dog, bro?

How's Happy? He ate your couch, didn't he? My fucking bed. He ate your bed, bro. How's Happy? He ate your couch, didn't he? My fucking bed. He ate your bed, bro. Dude. Dogs just eat fucking anything. Happy is going through. Your dog's like, nah, remotes.

I'm over that. I've graduated. I'm going to eat your bed. Yep. Remotes, shoes, nah, bedtime. And you know what? He's good. I love him.

He's my best friend, but he's in like his terrible two phase, dude. Like he won't shut the fuck up. He's always trying to run around. He's always needing friend, but he's in his terrible two phase, dude. He won't shut the fuck up. He's always trying to run around. He's always needing attention. I don't think I've heard him bark. He's just always doing some shit. Dude, unbelievable. Remember I was at your house, we were recording something,

and he just pissed on the floor for like four minutes? Yeah. We were like, holy shit. I was going to record it, but my phone ran out of storage. He was pissing so long. Dude, I mean, this guy, like, this guy. This guy. Yeah, no, he like, wow, this guy's just catcalling these ladies.

This is so live right now, bro. Oh, man. You're spitting game, bro. You drinking a Code Red? Holy shit. That's me, like, next week. What's up? Watch out, man.

He might headbutt his way through the studio. I must. That was so scary. I was like, he's not getting through. I know Will Smith's glass. He's not getting through that. No, but Happy's good. He's in his terrible two phase.

Like I said, we came home the other night and literally our bed was just everywhere. Like everywhere in the apartment. Just foam from our bed. Like what was he doing doing you think he just like liked the feel of it or do you think there's a good chocolate center in it he's just like dogs are crazy like that like they'll just sniff something obviously and then they'll just like do that crazy thing where they you know how that's how they that's how they like in their instincts they like kill something you know when they get a toy and they're like shaking their neck so hard yeah it's because they're like just breaking the neck rope yeah dude ropes and so that's what he was doing i know that's what he's doing shaking his head all over your bed dude just going

absolutely nuts my three cats are just watching like this fucking psychopath did they why did they bring him home? The cats. That's good, man. Hey, we got some catching up to do. I don't know how personal we can get, but you're a fucking man of the town with the lady now. I'm all over the place. You're a romantic,

dude. I'm the most romantic man in the world. Dinner. Dinner. Last night, dinner. Every day I wake up, I'm like, what are we getting? Dinner. IOTOs. Man of the town.

Good for you, dude. Yeah, Mara's cool. Never thought I'd see the day. Hey. Wow. Mara, she must be doing something. Must be doing something right, huh? Oh, God.

It's not just appetizers. I'll tell you that. something right now. Oh God. It's not just appetizers. I got, and I know you, I know your,

your crazy ass has been waiting for, uh, the opportunity to do dates like this where you get desserts. Cause you're all about desserts. So what is it? Me and her have completely different tastes though. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. She's like,

she's like creamy vanilla, chocolate, like vanilla. And I'm like chocolate every second. I'm like, I want the brownie lava. She's not about that. So I'm like, fuck. But you know what, though, man?

I mean, you've been going on these dinners. You've been probably getting a lot of dessert. And you still physically look good. Thanks, dude. I didn't know that was coming. Just a guy compliment off. Hey, just trying to get like you. That's every dude. That's every fucking like after a guy gives off the uh hey just trying to get like you that's every dude that's every

fucking like after a guy gives you a compliment just trying to be like you man no matter how that's it you can walk both ways you don't see each other for 10 years no matter how good you try to get like you peace no matter how big of a sack of shit they are you know you could be the ugliest motherfucker in the world like hey man man. If only I could be like you. Yeah, right. Then he goes home and tells his wife. He's like, you'll never guess who said they want to be like me. She's like, no, they didn't.

His wife's like, what the fuck? His wife doesn't even know because she's out cheating on him. Yeah. He's just talking to a fucking wall. Hey, honey. You'll never guess. He's just talking to some drywall in the garage. Humpday.

Drinking a Miller Lite. Stupid as fuck. Hey, Humpday. Humpday. Still shitty. Nobody thought that video was funny. Dude. Robot Hump Day

That was the biggest L we've ever taken on the internet But you know what it's like my favorite video Robot Hump Day Dude that's like a Saturday Night Live sketch That's hilarious Like if I saw fucking Colin Jost doing that I I would be dying laughing. It's every guy.

Introducing Robot Hunty. Hi, Hunty. I love you, Hunty. Yeah, I don't know what it is, but after you're 30 years old and you're engaged, it's not honey anymore. You throw a T in there. How you doing, Hunty? I think what it is, I think why we took the L on the internet is because that was all the guys on the internet.

Is what it is. Yeah, everybody that watches is like, that's not me and my Honti. While they're wearing their Sperrys with their fucking polo shirt. No way, those guys used to be Fonte Honti. Talking to a wall. On the golf course showing their other Honte Botes. Jeez. Hey, Bontes, look at this.

This guy made a video about a couple Hontes. God damn it, dude. Speaking of that, though, dude, the fucking young professional uniform is out in full force. Oh, now? Oh, dude. Dude, when summer hits, guys just cannot wait to get in those lululemon pants jesus christ i went to starbucks before this and then i was like trying to find parking

around downtown is the lunch hour so everywhere it was just a bunch of hoppies how you doing trying to get like you how you doing look good try to get like you how you doing look good hey just trying to get like you every fucking fucking conversation. Dude, everybody had a Chipotle bag. Oh, shit. With fucking no socks and slippers on or the fucking what? They're not slippers. They're probably. Yeah.

Sperry's and shit. Well, either Sperry's or loafers. No socks and loafers with either shorts or khakis and then a polo shirt from what school they went to. Just in all the music in the background. It's like the music from a Viagra commercial just got just young professional guy uniform hour jesus christ yeah the very like stitched up uh hemmed double hemmed dress shirts yep but like you know they got the cone titties going it's an express commercial cone titties, yeah. The mini cones. What's up?

Just trying to get my cones like you. Can't get rid of these cones. Crohn's disease? No, cones disease. If you are suffering from cones disease, stop eating bagels every single morning with cream cheese all over them. If you're

experiencing cone titties stop going to Chipotle every day for lunch and stop running down the stairs at a quick pace because those things aren't moving no matter how excited you are to go to Chipotle for lunch because we know hey You are going to trouble. Go down the stairs to your cubicle. Hey, Hotties. We got happy hour going on. We thinking brothers later, Hotties? Jeez. I couldn't believe how many were out, dude. I was like, wow.

I did not. Convention? I did not miss. Is this an express for men convention? I did not miss this in the pandemic. God damn. Everybody just go back home. Everybody take your cones home. Take your cones home.

Take your cone titties and get E.T. cones home. God damn it. All right. Let's get to this question. All right. Yeah. All right. Are we talking about ours first? Yeah, sure. Espres espresso question of the week what's the dumbest mistake you've ever made and you don't want to admit what you got

yeah so i was thinking about it for a little bit when you posed it to me and two things like two come out and it's they're all under the same category and i'm just notorious for doing this for some reason but there's been multiple times that I put the peanut butter in the fridge. And then I put the grapes in the pantry. I like flip-flop them. Grapes? Yeah. Or grape jelly.

No, like grapes. Grapes in a bowl that you would keep in the fridge to keep fresh and cold. I'd snack on a few and then for some reason... Right in right in the pantry like an hour later my sister would open the pantry be like why are there grapes in here i'm like oh shit did i do that and then i do it even worse bro i'll put like the remote in the fridge on some fucking autopilot shit and i'll be like i'll be right there and then the next day i'm like where the fuck's the remote well you're not even yeah you're not even thinking about it. You like exchange that.

You like take the milk out, put the remote in there. Yeah, dude. Weirdest place you've ever found the remote. It's like in the garage next to a hammer. You're like, fuck. I don't know why. Yeah, just multiple times I've just dropped the peanut butter right in the fridge. Cold peanut butter doesn't sound bad right now.

It honestly doesn't. But it's just like the biggest fucking hate the word brain fart but it is yeah it's bad that's not brain brain brain bomb brain buster brain buster so it's a butter it's just yeah i mean i could be onto something there but it's a small mistake but like yeah my family always just like hey make sure you don't put the fucking peanut butter lock the doors don't put the fucking peanut butter. Lock the doors. Don't put the everything's all good. Make sure the pets have their food. Don't put the fucking peanut butter in the fridge.

Don't put the potato chips in the microwave, Joey. Shit. All right. This is a bag. Just hot chips. All right. John Clark. I was 11 and I secretly picked my nose and a family friend's minivan backseat and I didn't

want to wipe it anywhere. So I just put it on the tip of my nose. What? Holy shit. The dead center of my stupid face. It was a mass. It was massive and bloody, bro. This is a great story. The mom saw it in the rear view mirror and asked if I needed a napkin, but I declined. Everyone, even the adults, pretended it wasn't there when we got in the house. This dude just had a booger on his nose. Like a professional booger. The best booger of all time right there.

So did he just think that perhaps they thought he wiped his nose or sneezed a little bit and then it got on there by accident and he didn't notice? I don't know why he decided to put it right there. Why not like... Didn't want to wipe it anywhere, so I put it on the tip of my nose. I mean, in that situation, you got to... I would put it back in my nose. In that situation, you got to just do like the like,

can I scoot up at all and just under the seat? Yeah. But I mean, he's in a car, bro. Just wipe it somewhere. That's what I'm saying. Like adjust yourself. Grow up and make their car disgusting. Grow up and wipe your boogers.

Grow up and steal a subway sign. All right, here we go. Kai, Kai, Kai, 44. Biggest mistake you've ever made that you don't want to admit to. I took a dump in my friend's bed and left early in the morning. And when asked, said it wasn't me. Dude, I've never really heard of anybody shit in the bed dude when people are like did you shit the bed i'm like does that really happen i know like in sports going to

the bathroom like peeing that's like understandable sure even like at any age it's like okay yeah you had a dream where you're probably like peeing on a tree but you're just saturating your bed or or you just didn't want to get up and go to the bathroom like me last night. Just piss all over your bed. Yeah, you got to pee so bad. You don't want to get up so bad, you just take the L. Get a whole new bed. I mean, I'm good.

Happy already ate it up anyway, so just fucking piss all over it, dude. There are a couple matches on it. Dude, I don't know. So I'm wondering, like, so was this by accident? I guess. And then he got up and just wiped his ass and then moved on to the next thing? It sounds like he, like, took a dump, like, did everything, like, squatted down. Okay, that's what I was about to say.

Like, did the old, like, drop trout, just fucking squat. See you later, bitch. I don't know. Drop trout. I've been saying that a, bitch. I don't know. Drop trout. I've been saying that a lot recently. I don't know why. Drop trout. That's so gross.

I don't even know it. I guess it's a fishing term. You pick up on the grossest words. Drop trout. You always say, oh, you make fun of people who say, I run hot. But I do. I run hot. But I do.

I run hot and a liquor coat. I have like a checklist of words that you say, bro. Kind of cold out, don't have a jacket, so I'm going to use my liquor coat. That got brought on to me, yeah, big time this past winter. I don't know why. It was like the thing. All my friends are saying it besides you. Everybody, you know. I've definitely thought about that, though. I just didn't know why. It was like the thing. Everybody, all my friends are saying it besides you. Everybody, you know.

I've definitely thought about that though. I just didn't know it had a name. Is it walking distance? I mean, you know, got our liquor code. It's a big,

it's a big Nick Baker phrase for those out there who know that guy. Young professional. Yeah, big cone titty phrase. All right, here's Casey underscore William. Biggest mistake you ever made but didn't want to admit to

turn 5k hold on if he really fucking did this turn 5k to 250k in five weeks trading crypto then lost 90 of it the next month not fun i mean i mean you're just bragging bro you want me to hit you up for like fucking trading advice? Jesus Christ. I thought it was going to be one of those ads. Like, you know how people comment under shit and it's like an ad? I thought that was this. I was like, pretty nice sliding in. He planted that in there so you would say his ad.

So then people are like, oh, not bad. No, I'm going to hit him up. Casey underscore William. But going back to that, though, I mean, crypto, it's all just kind of made up anyway. So you very well could still have that $250K. Don't know anything about it. Don't want to know. Me either.

Geargoes. That sounds like a damn. How many names are taken before you get that name? Even the Instagram username suggestions don't even go there. I think it's a VTN at the end that does it for me. Dot VTN. Is that even a thing you can go to on the internet? Dot org, dot government, dot VTN.

We're trying it. We're going to see. It's going to be a... Dude, it's a fucking stock thing. Immediate virus, of course. It kind of sounded like it. Invesco Trust for Investment Grade New York Print Municipals. Okay, bye.

I hate that word. It's my least favorite word ever. Municipals? I hate that, too. I'm like, what is that? Definitely a cone-titty word. Yeah, I'd trade it in my municipals. Yeah, I'll have the number seven.

Thanks, Chipotle. My municipals are not doing too well. I have to check my portfolio. And he's just slamming his head into the glass. All right, most embarrassing thing, or biggest mistake he's ever made and didn't want to admit, this is VTN guy. So many times I putted myself second in priorities,

and so many times instead of saying no i say yes dude that's a bad one that was you need to like it's a bad one sorry dude but you sorry you need to figure a lot of things out you go to some counseling start with your username for the exactly for that and then also for the username okay no I love those, dude. Song? Song? Song? Whoa.

Song? Song? Hey, what's a song in the background? Song? Every video you post. Song? Song? Song, please?

It's like, dude, just take the three words that you hear the most and Google it. It literally shows up. Ba, ba, ba, ba, ba. Google that. take the three words that are that you hear them google it it literally shows up google that em celery cleary emc cleary what's the biggest mistake you've ever made but didn't want to admit for me it's when i allowed my dog to shit in the lobby of my apartment building and walked away like it never happened yep old happy boy's done that before just in the middle of the lobby yeah and uh you know i always because sometimes like i'll bring one bag with me and then he'll use it and i'll you know and then i'll be out of bags but all of a sudden he has like a second shit coming through yeah when did like what where what is that so then he shit about i don't

know so then he goes and he drops Trout in the lobby. And then like he's, yeah, so then I'm out of bags. I'm like, shit, literally. But then I just pray that nobody's around. And if they are, I'm like, I'm serious. I'm going back up to get a bag right now. So I have to run up there, get a bag, go pick it up. It's a whole thing.

Never come back. CT, CT, CT. Whoa. back ct ct ct whoa true post of that video that light flickering which is right across the street by the way some dude goes bro why are you always walking in some weird industrial area at night that's so true that needed i don't drive anywhere. Dude, the first time Wyatt, I've known Wyatt for three years. First time he saw me in a car was like two weeks ago. He was like, what the fuck? Is that a rental? He's like, did you steal that? Dude, I hate parking downtown. Oh yeah, it's a nightmare. I literally haven't even been paying attention to half the things you've been saying during this pod because I've just been looking directly at my car making sure that nobody goes and

tries to tow it in that lot across the street. So far, so good. No, bro. Every parking place downtown is so sketchy. Alright, Holly Fitness. What's the biggest mistake you've ever made but didn't want to admit? Every relationship ever,

lol, but probably almost marrying a stripper tops a list hmm okay almost marrying yeah all right see didn't go through with it so not the biggest mistake close so is that so she okay almost married yeah well there's ups and downs with that you know marrying a stripper possibly marrying a stripper could be exciting in the bedroom yeah i mean also i can't think of any negatives honestly live with the realization that people are also seeing them titties and then that's where you just gotta say i don't know i i don't think i'll ever be a strip club guy you ever gone

yeah i've gone yeah it Yeah, I've gone. Yeah. That's weird. I've gone like three times and two were like bachelor parties. You know, it's just like an oblique, like you just have to do that on a bachelor. It's like mandatory. It's yeah. It's a big cone titty thing.

Like that's cone titty guy. Cone titty guy. Let's go to the garden tonight. Yeah. They're self-conscious. I can't get excited for it. They're self-conscious. They do this all day. You're garden tonight. Yeah. They're self-conscious. I can't get excited for it. I'm like, I don't know. They do this all day.

You're not special. Yeah. They're self-conscious about their cones, so they have to go see some other ones. I want to see some real cones. Give me them real things. I want some cones in my face. I'm tired of seeing my own in the mirror. My own cones.

All right. Let's see if we can find one more good one. The episode name of this needs to be Cone Titty, by the way. Cone Titty. Cone Titties. Got a good one? Here we go.

We're just the sports talk guys that just don't say anything for eight seconds while they're just the sports talk guys that just like don't say anything for eight seconds and just want to read an email. That's it. 20 minutes. Just talk to the producer off mic. Hey, you got that pulled up?

All right. Here we go. Last one. Paradox Design Co. Whoa. What's the biggest mistake you've ever made that you didn't want to admit? Okay. So for my honeymoon, we went camping in New Hampshire.

Why would you ever go to New Hampshire? That's the two worst things of all time, camping and New Hampshire. Got all the way there and realized they didn't pack the tent. Sounds like a good thing, bro. So you got to turn around and just not go camping in New Hampshire. That looks pretty. Oh, shit, that looks looks great i feel like that's the only thing in new hampshire though like just like there's not even any building no they don't have like a wendy's they're all just they're just tree people living in

cabins and shit yeah dude there's a helicab that looks really nice that looks awesome you want to go camping no but that's it right there that's that's the that's the mayor's house and that thing just that bridge yeah under there the governor you cannot come through unless you vote for me next year no see this this person paradox that i mean that i can't think of a worse way to start off your marriage because then automatic just like you're getting you're getting yelled at it's camping well no any trip with like a girl that you like is just a nightmare yeah and camping bro nobody knows how to camp you and mara you and mara gone on any trips

yeah we've gone to like cities around here but like not camping bro like like shitting in front of somebody you like is weird enough now you gotta do it outside like next camping bro like like shitting in front of somebody you like is weird enough now you gotta do it outside like next to the tent yeah i i there's probably about a million things i could see you doing before i see you camp yeah i don't know like even you going to like a football camp back in the day was weird because there's the word camp in there i'm like he's not supposed to be here no not camp anything for like i need to. I'm like he's not supposed to be here. No, not camp anything for like I need to stay the night like where I'm supposed to be. I can't be like out

for like three days straight football camp kind of weird definitely very weird just a bunch of dudes. What's up? Shower showers and we will hit lunch showering bro seven guys. That's so weird.

Yeah. All right. You want to go viral? Sure. Vi-vi-vi-vi-viral. You're not that guy, pal. You're not that guy. That guy looked like me.

Dude. You're not that guy, pal. He looks like me in 10 years. That is my favorite. 15 years. I fucking love that guy. You're not that guy, pal. Dude. Why do you love him? It's just... That's me. That is my favorite. 15 years. I fucking love that guy. You're not that guy, pal. Dude.

Why do you love him? It's just like... That's me. That's me. It's hysterical, dude. That's my hair like now. No? Yeah, it is.

If you let yourself... Like if you got into some comfort, relationship comfort, and you let yourself go, and you lost your jawline, that's literally you. That's if you and Mara get married. Shit. The eye bags i just the gucci bags this guy you know like this guy but what do you think he drinks uh take it old-fashioned yeah no yeah or just this guy just captain and coke captain and diet coke for sure at like 9.30 a.m.

I mean, I've seen, I tweeted about it. I've seen it one too many thousand times of travel baseball dads, and that's what they are. This dude's wearing baggy cargo shorts, and if you give him shit about it, he's like, hey, I can put everything in here, huh? What do you think about that? Huh?

I wear cargo shorts all the time. You're in the wrong for not doing it, pal. He's got one of those retractable knives on his belt. Yep. He's got one of those. I'll skin you right here. I'll skin you where you stand. Dude, that's another part.

Dude, that's hilarious. Skin you where you stand, pal. Step back. If you've watched the full video, I don't know if you've had, but he he like he says something similar to that he's like fuck you where you breathe fuck where you fuck you where you breathe pal so mad what'd the guy say to him i don't know wow he just like i think this guy this somebody needs to do at that i think this dude just had like uh you know he probably

was like getting bitched at by the wife who he already hates he was going to a cvs and he's already pissed off fuck and then he had some kid that looks like wyatt that was probably like you know he just said something not even like bad to him just something your socks don't match yeah and then all of a sudden he just couldn't handle it anymore probably had one too many captain cokes you know yeah Had the flask with him in the front. Had the turvist. No, that's in his pocket. In that big pocket. He had the turvist and he's just drinking and driving constantly. But he's not doing it like heavily.

He's just sipping on it. You know what I mean? A paper towel wrapped around his Jack and Coke in the cup holder. Yeah, I like the condensation in the cup holder. Piss me off. Pisses me the fuck off. Dude, you know who's the you know who has the most cone tits ever you're not that guy pal that guy bro his cone tits well me and me when

i'm married pretty much look at those conies that picture right there is perfect they're literally that guy's cat yeah i think i i think i just love his his face like how he's like so, you know. Oh, my God, bro. When he closes his mouth, he's kind of smirking. That's it right there. He's kind of smirking, but he's not. Pal. Like, yeah, one of those aggressive dudes, like when they're mad, they're smiling.

You're like, what's going on here? Most dangerous guys ever. Yeah. Also comments on like every IG models, pictures and shit. So beautiful. Drop the OF, pal. Calling somebody pal,

I just wouldn't even be able to do it. It's so degrading. Hey, pal. It's like, fuck. Yeah. I don't even know how you say buddy to people. I'm like, damn, he just called him buddy. Yeah, I've lightened my mode.

I've lightened my thoughts on that. You know, I think buddy and pal, they're very, you got to be careful. It's a very, very fine line to walk with buddy and pal. Chief. Oh, chief is forever bad. Borderline racist. Hey, chief, you're like holy shit chief let's walk this one back bro chief is always bad nice fit out there bro dude that is real nice the shoes matching he's been saving it for a rainy day

shit all right viral sorry uh random hashtag random questions for god yeah pretty we've talked about this before kind of pretty common you know it's a every now and then thought that goes in the head of somebody who grew up like us i think you know when you have god just slammed in your face all the time, you're kind of like, all right, let's see what I got for this dude. Yeah, if I go up there, I'm going to say thanks for having me, first of all. Thanks for having you in his house. Thanks for having me up here, yeah.

It was borderline, you know. So this is like a house party. This is like God's house party. I feel like when I go up to the gates, it's like, yo, what's up? Thanks for letting me up here. Appreciate the hospitality. Because you never know if I'm going down. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And he's like, hey, any questions or anything about anything? And I'm like, well, I got a few. What the fuck's up with the hiccups? And I'm like, well, I got a few. What the fuck's up with the hiccups? Like, did you fuck that up or is that a thing? Like, is that like a warning when I eat too fast? Yeah.

Is that the warning that I'm going to choke and die? Or is that just something you glossed over when you're making us? On top of that, why do you have to be scared? Why do you have to get scared to get rid of them? Yeah. Like, why is that the thing? How do you have to get scared to get rid of them? Yeah. Like, why is that the thing? How do we fix all the doctors in the world together at a meeting? Oh, okay, hiccups.

How do we solve this? Is there a pill? Is there something? You just got to scare the piss out of them, and it'll be fine. So one bad thing leads to an even worse thing. You get the hiccups, you're pissed. Oh, God. Now you're like, you have to get scared, and now it's two bad things.

And if the scaring doesn't work, you're just going to have to do a handstand upside down and touch your tongue to the roof of your mouth. Oh, and by the way, if that doesn't work, you have to hold your breath until you think about passing out. Oh, dude. Those are the only options. That's all we got.

I heard the other day, like, somebody said, I don't know, I can't remember where I heard that, but Adam and Eve, like, every single thing about them, they have belly buttons. Oh, my God. Imagine being those people. Yeah. How do they have belly buttons?

They're the first ones. Oh, that's true because of, like, birth. Yeah. Belly buttons are weird as fuck, dude. That is one of the weirdest things. Yeah, we look over that too, bro. That's some straight up, belly buttons are straight up alien shit. First time I saw an umbilical cord, I was like, ah!

Oh, yeah. And I just figured out that like when you're in there, in your mama, like you're obviously not breathing. Like the umbilical cord, that's what's like keeping mama, you're obviously not breathing. The umbilical cord, that's what's keeping you. You know what I mean? It's feeding you the oxygen and all the shit that you need to stay alive in there. So weird.

Because you're just in fluid the entire time. Extraterrestrial. Dude, seriously. Birth shit is weird as fuck. I could do a sign sequel to that. Whoa, wow. What's going on? Nice jeans.

Look here. Hashtag. Best part about summer. There's a lot. Best part about summer. What about the worst part about summer? That's a pretty popular thing going on the internet right now. My place of employment, KFC, is just like hard on hating summer.

Why? He just says that it's like... That just fucked me up. Yeah, he says that when you get to be an adult, summer is just all the same bullshit that you got to deal with and be pissed off about, but it's like you're sweating too on top of it. That's true. But it's like, I mean,

I mean winter, I see, right. I see where he's coming from. But at the same time, it's like, dude, like still on the weekend,

you get to like go to a pool, like lay out, have some, you know, fruity drinks, like go to a, you know, a lake,

like drinks, you know, there's the, yeah. Best thing about summer. What do you have i just like how it stays light forever man it's like 10 p.m still outside yeah this dude keeps walking back and forth he really wants us to talk about that he knows

talk about the fit that's a nice jacket yeah it's gonna be hot though it's hot as shit out there he's in like a sweat jacket all black that's like a satin jacket like you couldn't wait to wear that bro. It's like he's like basically wearing a trash bag that looks That's all satin jackets are Yeah, light out that kind of fuck like it's it's it's it's both good and bad cuz during the week It fucks me up dude cuz I'm just like I am exhausted i'm tired sometimes i'm like it's still i know i'm like damn we fucking turn the lights off earth can you dim them god how about that but then i see i'm a big morning guy so i like when it's like 6 45 birds are chirping sun's out ready to go you wake up at 6 45 fucking happy dude he's like the mark walberg of like what time you go to bed he's like 10 yeah but he's like the mark walberg of like what time you go to bed he's like

10 yeah but he's like the mark walberg of dogs like every day this motherfucker's waking up earlier and earlier like you know that like dalia was making fun of that about how walberg like he every day is like 6 a.m i get up like look at this that he posted it, 2.30 a.m. wake up, prayer time. Damn, he says prayers till 3.15. Holy shit, get a life, bro. Don't tell me you're not falling asleep during a couple prayers there. How do you keep track of all that? 2.45 to 3.15 prayer time. The fact he says time after it, like he's six years old.

Prayer time. When I start to even try to pray, about 30 seconds in, if that, I'm like, what was I talking about again? Did I lock my car? I have no idea. But seriously, I mean, the last two weeks, I don't know, Happy's just starting this bullshit where, like, he used to sleep until, like, 8. Yeah. This morning, 5.55 in the morning, this motherfucker's going, What's he doing?

What kind of podcast is that? I had to go take him out. He just wants to go out and he fucking takes a piss and he comes back in. But yeah. Best thing about summer. I'd say

I'd say the drinks. When I met you in the summer. Right? Songs kind of hit different in the summer. Yeah. There's always a summer song. Summer song, summer playlist. I'm like, do music artists do that on purpose?

Like, are they going to have... Oh, for sure. They try to have a song this summer. Yeah. There always is one. Yeah. That's like definitely it. It's like when movies do uh like a blockbuster you know

it's like the summer blockbuster that's why like all those tight ass movies will come out in like may or all may till you know july what's a movie blockbuster this year uh black widow just came out oh it did yeah that's out uh-huh damn yeah let's talk about marvel movies for the rest of the time. Low key one too. Anyway, low key. Let's see. Let's do one more. Hashtag. Oops, I dated.

This always has me thinking about that one story you told about the girl you dated back in high school that said the last name wrong. Yeah. That is a tough one to recover from. Tough to recover calling Baez Baez. Dude, lay it down. She knows you're a cubs fan she loves you she's trying to impress you she's walking watching the cubs game with you no she's not even watching the cubs game she was acting like she's watching the cubs game and texting me like gifs of this dude that she mispronounces his name and you know it's probably an honest mistake because i've gotten

older and you know i'm like all right i'm a little more forgiving she's a very sweet girl but at the time it was like you know don't try to pull a fast one over me all right don't don't fake that you're a cubs fan and you're in this shit and when you have no fucking idea you know so how's it spelled and how'd you say it it's spelled b-a-e-z and it has the um the fucking accent over the E, right? Yep. Or the A. There it is. Javi Baez.

And she was like, yeah, a guy brought in his Bays jersey. And I was like, excuse me? Hanging out with Bay. I'm like, I see kind of, I mean, you know, the spelling, I guess. It's like, you really think it'd be called baes? Biggest Cubs fan. Watching a game with you, bro. I couldn't do it, man.

Thank God she wasn't watching a game with you. Yeah, I know. Watching a baseball game with you. I barely watch games with Riley now. Why? We're married. Just because it's like. So what do you think about... Come on!

Dude, you're like not paying attention, but you are during every baseball game. You gotta be, man. I'm like, he's definitely not looking anymore. And you're like, still second! Yep, pretty much. I'm not... I have like... I've lessened on that. Yeah, I have like, I've lessened on that. No, you haven't.

Yeah, I have. Since we've been doing this shit. Since we've been dating. Since we've been doing this shit, I'm definitely not as bad. I've kind of grown up a little bit, you know. Steelers games are kind of, they're still. All different. Yeah.

I still haven't seen you during a Steelers game. I don't want you to. I don't want you to. It's not good. All all right let's do days okay all right let's go wednesday national dive bar day oh i love a dive bar the best i don't know why it is but it's just like the they don't care about shit no No, dude. Get away with anything in there. Ew, that place is gross. I'm like, this is my fucking atmosphere. Yeah, you're like... Why is it, man?

Everything's just so relaxed. You could bring like a fucking John Deere tractor in there and they'd be like, Hey, yeah, let's pour some beer on it and lick it off. They'd fucking immediately play like, Gee, thanks, my tractor's sick. Yeah, right? Shit! It really turns me on.

Turn on, turn on. Yeah, dude. No, I love dive bar, man. Because I feel like it's homey. It's nice. You get the best of both worlds. You're out. You're having a drink.

You're having fun, but you're not like fucking. Yeah, your expectations are so low that the bar is great. You know what I mean? They don't have food. Do you guys have food? And they're like, yeah, we make our own pizzas. And you're like, oh, shit. And everything, yeah, you walk out of there,

you get like four beers and a pizza and you pay like $9.50 somehow. You know? But if you like, and another thing is like, I feel like there's not too many cone titties that are at dive bars. Nah. Like the cone titties like the,

yo, let's go to Bros. You go to Bros? Yeah, let's go to Bros and get the chicks we got a we got a we got a wrath skeleton skelly season and then you know they spend three hundred dollars and and they black out and make a fool of themselves there and i'm all the while i'm just chilling at a dive bar cones are just growing tones of cones are growing national take a walk day wednesday i hate. National take a walk day, Wednesday. I hate walks. I love a walk. Dude, I hate them.

Why? It's an annoyance for me. I'm just like. Well, yeah, like this weather would be when it's hot, when it's summer. I guess a walk in the summer would be the worst thing ever. A walk to remember? Nope. I don't care for walks.

Give me a golf cart and I'll do a golf cart ride. That's fun. Golf cart rides are great. Why the hell is that so fun? You're not going too fast. You're just moving a little bit. You're seeing everything. You're getting from place to place. It's the no doors.

Yeah, you're out, but you're not. The poor man's Jeep Wrangler. Yeah, that's why. I hate walking. And walking a dog, even worse. Really? The fucking worst. I hate it.

That thing's just pulling your ass around. Oh, God. And I just want a backyard. I'm going to be a cone-titty house guy because I just pulling your ass around god and i just like i yeah i just i i want like a backyard i'm gonna be cone titty house guy because i just want a backyard to be able to just let him out and just run go just go i don't have to do anything you come back in when you want to don't got to worry about it having to walk them downtown especially all the fucking smells and people around dude that's this guy you get cat called enough. Imagine you having a dog. Jesus Christ.

That's Joey. Oh, my God. And his dog. People are kind of assholes about dogs sometimes, though. No. I'm like, it's a dog. He's like the friendliest thing in the world. Why are you being a prick about it? What do they say?

They don't say anything. They just like steer away and give it a dirty look. Yeah. Except for when you're at Starbucks. Oh, God, yeah. There's more dogs than people at Starbucks downtown. Saturday morning, I made that mistake with Happy. Dude, I've seen so many dog fights out there by that window at Starbucks.

Oh, yeah. And everybody's just like... And all they want is one thing. Trying to keep it cool, acting like it's no big deal, but it's a problem. Dude, yeah, I've seen two dogs go at it, bro. And there's restaurants around there, and all of them go dead quiet and look. They're like, holy shit. And both the owners, while it's happening, they're just like, oh, he's just a puppy.

I know, right? He didn't mean it. They're just playing. They're just playing. Hey! They're just playing. They're just playing. Stop it!

Half the dog's face is ripped off. He's just being a good old boy here's your pup cup yeah happy to probably win a contest for eating those he downs them in literally about 2.5 seconds me too i remember i gave him one it was insane he was attached to me national macaroni day something about like the the cartoon character macaroni versus like the normal og shells something about like spongebob macaroni is always number one for me oh man the opposite i i'm kind of a macaroni snob, dude. Really? Yeah. Okay, what do you think about the macaroni that, like, people make and they bake it in the oven and it has, like, kind of the burnt on top? Do you like that or not?

I don't like it as much as just regular, like, Fourth of July fucking creamy Velveeta mac and cheese, dude. I'm down with it. I'll definitely eat it. It's just not as good. It's not. Like, you get, like, four good, like, scoops out of that. The rest of it's like, I don't know. And I'll definitely eat it. It's just not as good. It's not. It's a little bit. Like you get like four good like scoops out of that. The rest of it's like.

Yeah. And it's kind of bland. For some reason, I'm like, you kind of lost the cheese. Like you kind of burnt the cheese out of it. They kind of burnt the flavoring out of it. With the tomatoes on it. They kind of make up for it with like pepper. And it's like too peppery.

If it's baked like that, I'm like, I guess I need hot sauce now to really kind of spice this thing up. But yeah. And whatever else you got. But the Eagle fucking nails it. They do. I will admit. I just had their mac and cheese the other day because I was bored and it was just sitting out.

Somebody didn't want it. I was like, I'll take a couple bites of this. The bread crumbs. That did it for me. And they make it real cheesy. They do it right. Something about the skillet. cheese like they do it right something about the skillet well like on thanksgiving or like easter if somebody brings the baked as compared to just like the valvita creamy ass mac and cheese i'm

like but okay i'll still eat it nobody does it like valvita the god of mac and cheese i mean just like dude oh the fucking shells let's's go. Crown it king. Give me that, the biggest portion on my Fourth of July plate, you know? I know this is after Fourth of July, but I'm just thinking about it from the weekend, and it's like, give me that as the biggest portion. Is that Yoda? What the fuck is that? That's a... Dude, they're like, we want to make Yoda, but the copyright...

Just make his head bigger and his ears smaller. There it is. Give him all five fingers yep thursday national freezer pop day yeah this is summer shit here man mac and cheese and freezer pops uh what do you call what do you skittles that's not real is that real that can't be real oh my god you've never been that excited out of stock it is real bro if that's a thing hey which one do you have no shit you know people are you know people like i only like the pink starburst i only is there one of those for skittles are people like i don't like the i don't think it's typically like red and purple or kind of you know strawberry and grape they're all kind of good.

They're all great. Oh, yeah, dude. Bro, is that a, that's a real thing. That's real. That's going to change the game. Because Flavor Ice has been holding it down for a long time. Or whatever those are called. What do you call those?

That was like a big, that was a big internet thing. No, the ones in the sleeve. Yeah, like those right there? I always called them Flavor Ice, but there was a thing that was like, do you call them like Popeyes? Do you call them like Flavor? I don't know. There are like four different names for it.

Oh, the ones that come in like the fishnet bag. Oh, wow. You just buy it CVS on your way out. They're like, I don't even care if you're paid for it. Just take it. Those are like 79 cents for like 19,000 of them. Yeah, that's like for the birthday parties in the summer. Yeah, they're so good, bro.

They never disappoint. But you can't get the fucking plastic thing open on it. It takes you like two weeks to get that off. Yeah, you're doing some damage to the teeth on that. The top of it's all knotted off. Oh, I mean, just fucking, yeah. Boom pops, baby. Bomb pop.

Boom. Whoops. Bomb pop. Boom. Whoops. Bomb, baby! Firecracker? Yeah, I guess that's what it's called. Man, we got Pop-Tarts up in here? Hey, how about the off the days, but our guy Jerry Seinfeld starring in the movie on Netflix about Pop-Tarts called Unfrosted.

He has that joke about the Pop-Tarts. Yeah, he told me about that unreal a heater you can't even find it on the internet but it's a really good pop tart joke and uh yeah that's probably why uh god damn what a life has all the makings to be my favorite thing ever jerry's and pop yeah no shit like it's like it's like they took comedians and cars getting coffee i was like, my favorite thing ever. How do you make it better? Pop-Tarts.

Boom. The unfrosted ones, though. I know. I kind of was disappointed by the title. I'm like, what? I can't believe they haven't done like double frosted or something like that. Like on the bottom, too? Yeah.

Double it up? Like double stuffed Oreos type thing? Type B? Top and bottom? Don't get us talking about Pop-Tarts. That's the most summer Pop-Tart ever. Wow. Yeah, you can only have like the berry Pop-Tarts

during the summer. It feels weird in the winter. I need cinnamon sugar browns. Yeah, in the winter. There's different months. There's different seasons for Pop-Tarts. Absolutely. In summer, only in the winter sugar i need cinnamon sugar browns yeah in the winter there's different months there's different seasons for pop absolutely some are only in the morning like you can't have a strawberry pop tart at night oh i'm a bitch for strawberry pop tarts dude but i feel i know i know the sentiment you're saying holy shit look how good that fucking cookies and cream one looks

right up there sometimes those hit sometimes those hit. Wow. Can you, okay, so s'mores pop-tarts in the summer, can that be a substitute for actual s'mores? You're going to feel like doing all this shit, fire up the microwave for 10 seconds. You're going to feel like. I mean, honestly. S'mores over a fire are always a disaster.

I mean, it's a lot of work for minimal reward yeah and every time you get like a good s'more you're like it's all right i can do it but you know somebody like makes it for you you're like i can do it better than you try and you're like not as good and it's always like a threat of maybe catching your hand on fire you know because you're trying to get it just right and then the flames go on you're like that's a the big one always somebody wants to make you like you have to make them a s'more they're like can you make me one but i like it uh on fire always somebody wants a marshmallow like burning damn the graham crackers are really good though i always overdo it and i put like the the chocolate

way too much hershey's chocolate on it like that like four yep that's it i realized that every single time you kind of like have to burn it though like you can't it has to be caught on fire because it's kind of like hot coffee like your coffee's either hot or then it's just cold like there's really you know between right like you're not going to get it just golden brown enough it's either going to be not toasted or it's going to be fucking black damn that looks good i know friday i haven't had lunch yet i'm fucking hungry car salesman appreciation day i mean that's cone titty city yeah absolutely it is i don't know i don't trust any car salesman ever yeah they have such a bad especially used bro like yeah you feel this ice cold air it's always

yeah bro every car is fucking ac right what are you talking about and also you ice cold in here huh that's all they say it's cold air working huh so what are we doing fucking hanging meat in this thing then you bring that up to him you're like well you know that is a function that you could do that if you wanted to oh my god just another reason to sign right here yeah dude we're throwing my rotisserie chickens in the back of this thing dude my my grandpa and my great-grandpa were both used car salesmen. Just the absolute biggest bullshitters ever. That's so fried. You have to be. You have to because, I mean, you're pulling one over on people.

You're showing them the fucking AC so they forget about the transmission. You know what I mean? You're showing them the engine so they forget about the AC. Used cars. What a scam. You know? But everybody, that's the beauty of it though

is like you'll sell 10 used cars in a day as compared to one new car because people are just like, give me it. I don't care. 5,000, I'll take her. Need it for point A to point B.

Every time somebody gets a shitty car, they're excused point A to point B. I just spit on you, but that's so fucking. It goes from point A to point B. Hey, point A, point B. And just spit on you, but that's so fucking... It goes from point A to point A, point B. Hey, point A, point B. And you're like, yeah, but what about... You're driving a 93 Honda Accord with no

doors. And one of them's... Yeah, and if there is a door on the trunk, it's red. What about point C? Point D? Point A to point B. Yeah, no stops in between. I'm not hungry. I'm not thirsty. Don't need to get gas. Just here and work, baby. Once you leave B, is it getting you to C?

I don't know. There's never a C. The most used car of all time. It's always a Honda. Why do they work for so long? It is a quality vehicle. Jesus Christ, bro. Now all of a sudden I'm selling it.

It is a quality vehicle. Actually, have you checked the ice cold air in that thing? Do love a Honda. That's an old ass one, dude. But like the 99 Honda. Yeah, check a 99 Honda. Maybe a Civic.

This is like the most car. Oh my God. When you think of a car. When you think of just everybody in high school drove that car. Yeah, dude. That car is like literally $1,500. And also the teachers drove that car, too.

Sticker on the back. Ron Colley softball coach. Proud student. Proud parent of a non-enroll student. Oh, my God. That's the most car of all time, dude. Yeah, that is just car. Toyota Camry, Honda Civic.

Wow, Toyota Camry. Why are they lit? Way too new. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Toyota Camry, the new ones, be yourself. Wow. That's it. Mom, can you take me to practice?

You kind of want one. Kind of do. Just drive the hell out of it. I can sell you one. You can beat this thing into the ground. Jeez, A point, but it gets you where you need to go. We should start a used car place called Cone Titty City. No, just A to B car sales.

How is that not already a thing? It has to be. That's a great idea. A to B cars. A to B cars. I'm going to text my grandpa all that. Yeah. A to B cars. A to B cars. I'm going to text my grandpa all that. Yeah. Permanently closed.

This is permanently closed. Sacramento, of course. Worst city in America. In the world. Jesus Christ, duh. Hey, you want to come get a used car and donate plasma? It's a one-stop shop. Cars, point A. Plasma, point B. You can give up some money, then earn it right back after donating plasma.

Will you be able to walk out of here? Maybe not. That's why you got to drive home at A to B cars. All right, There we go. Shot 166. Whoa. Espresso podcast with Ben Polizzi and Joey Molinaro. Always fun, man. Yeah.

It's always a great laugh. Great laughs. We need to do it more often. We should do like maybe every couple months or something. All right. Cool. See you in 10 years. Yeah. Oh, shit, bro shit bro won't see you again live right across the street remember to follow on tiktok cameo instagram twitter all at benedict palizzi and all at joey molinaro joy joy okay

talk to you guys next week peace