Espresso - discontinued food you wanna bring back?
Episode Date: April 3, 2025⭐️Leave a Rating + Review🔓support benny and get every other pod + weekly livestream for $5/month https://www.patreon.com/benedictpolizzi📺 watch on Youtube https://www.youtube.com/@e...spressowbenedicton this ep benny reacts to the discontinued food or drink you guys wanna bring back (like laffy taffy watermelon)🎟️ 𝗕𝗘𝗡𝗡𝗬'𝗦 𝗨𝗣𝗖𝗢𝗠𝗜𝗡𝗚 𝗦𝗧𝗔𝗡𝗗 𝗨𝗣 𝗦𝗛𝗢𝗪𝗦 https://benedictpolizzi.com/shows/Rochester, NY - May 5 https://ci.ovationtix.com/35843/production/1229938Las Vegas, NV - May 24 https://www.wiseguyscomedy.com/nevada/las-vegas/arts-district/e/benedict-polizzi💕 WATCH BENNY on LOVERS and LIARS ON CW APP🧢 "𝗙𝗕𝗢𝗬" 𝗙𝗢𝗥 𝟮𝟱% 𝗢𝗙𝗙 𝗔𝗟𝗟 𝗠𝗘𝗥𝗖𝗛 https://benedictmerch.com/
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Laffy taffy that looked like a watermelon. Oh God
It was like a long, lily wanka laffy taffy
and it had like black seeds, but they were like candy black seeds so you could actually eat them
Cuz I'm dancing in the mirror and singing in the shower
ba da dee ba da da ba da da
I'm singing in the shower.
Oh, this thing's on.
Espresso podcast shot 361.
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and would rather do anything than leave the hotel.
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Ticket links coming soon.
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Let's get to the question, dude.
Oh, wait a second.
Are you telling me that he's starving?
That the only thing he ate today
was 14 scoops of eggs from the airport
in a big container at negative 4.50 a.m.
and the podcast is about food.
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!
Dude, these are my favorite ones.
The podcast that stands out to me the most is
the What Would Your Last Meal Be?
And I think this might be right there with it.
And I'm starving.
No, but honestly, I was so hungry.
It was one of those decisions.
It was like, do I eat late night or I go to sleep,
wake up feeling super, super skinny?
You know that feeling.
Dude, when you wake up in the morning,
you're just like, damn, I look pretty good.
One drop of water.
Pfft.
Looks like shit.
But I was starving.
Went to bed hungry, woke up lean and mean.
Went to the airport looking for trouble.
Was in the American Airlines terminal.
Never been there before.
There's like a cafeteria in there.
Okay, what?
Breakfast cafeteria?
Dude, I just hopped in line and I was like,
yo, can you just fill that thing up with eggs?
And of course, they don't know.
They don't know how crazy I really am.
They don't know psycho.
People at the airport don't know psycho.
And I'm telling you, I'm here to show them.
I pull up, filled up, please? Yeah, sure. Boom, boom, boom, couple scoops. I pull up, fill it up. Please?
Yeah, sure.
Boom, boom, boom.
Couple scoops.
I'm like, keep going, keep going, keep going.
Can I get another serving?
I'll pay.
I'm paying.
I'm paying.
I'll tell you right now.
Boom, boom, boom.
I'm like, no, no, no.
Just let it ride.
So he goes.
So then he's like, all right, this guy's insane.
Pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft.
Whole container full of eggs.
You put salt and pepper on eggs?
Hey, is it dessert?
Is it?
God, it's so good.
Sat on a ledge like a cat, ate all the eggs,
got on my laptop, best morning of my life.
All I've had to eat today though.
And that's why this podcast is gonna be so good
and I'm gonna eat everything after it
Hey question of the week. What's the discontinued food or drink you want to bring back?
For me. Oh my god. I think about all time the ice age
slushy milkshake combo at Burger King
Vanilla vanilla milkshake. God dang it when you miss when you mix ice cream with stuff
I just I can't even wrap my head around it sometimes.
The swirl of vanilla milkshake,
the swirl of vanilla folder,
why do they call them vanilla folders?
Why don't they just call them vanilla folders?
The swirl of vanilla milkshake,
and then the swirl of blue slushie,
perfectly in between, how do they do it?
What art course did the Burger King guy attend
to be able to make that beautiful thing inside of a cup?
God, they do it so well.
Oh my God, I'll never, I think about it all.
It was so good.
And I got chicken tenders too.
I was with my friend, my dad was like, yeah get whatever you want. Oh my god
It's just they let it ride when you're with your friend, you know
Growing up in the drive-thru you're with a friend your parents are like, alright
We got to be like we got to make we got to make this kid that my son's hanging out with we got to make
Him think that we're normal so he doesn't report back to his parents that we're complete psychos.
So get whatever you want.
And you're like, what?
When your dad says get whatever you want,
you're like, he like does the wink,
he's like, just play it cool.
Like, we don't wanna show this dude
that we're absolute psychos.
And what we would normally get is just 17 whopper juniors
and no drinks.
My friend goes first.
It's always so weird when your friend
orders a drive-through.
Chicken tenders and the BK Ice Age Shake.
I was like, what the fuck?
I look at my dad like 14 times.
I'm like, I'll get the same thing.
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.
He can't do anything.
He's powerless.
So good. Never forget it. And it never came back.
Never saw Ice Age either. Not a chance. Didn't even watch one second of it.
Put the shake.
Also treats a pizza. What happened? Bring it back Pizza Hut. Why not?
You know what's really slackin'? You know what's really slacking?
You know what needs a tune up?
Chain Pizza Place dessert.
No, this is not a food podcast. Should be.
Is it?
Is this a food nostalgia podcast?
Man, I don't know how you get over those two things ever.
But that's what we're doing.
Chain pizza desserts, they never nail it.
Papa John's has, somebody has like the cinnamon thing,
they're not any good.
Domino's always trying something with little bites
with like chocolate oozing out of them.
I'm like, that's not, I mean, I would if I had a gift card,
but I don't know if I'd spend like actual money on,
it's always just getting a pint, you know, what mommy likes.
Let's hear yours.
What's the discontinued food or drink you want to bring back?
Cheese nips.
Not Cheez-Its, cheese nips.
They just hit a little bit different.
I don't know if you remember them, but oh god, they were so good.
They were cut like they were like Cheez-Its, but almost like greasier and dirtier taste. Oh, I think about them a lot. Oh
the way you said dirtier because I was thinking I think that's like the
like the
the trashier version of Cheez-Its
Cheez-Its is like
You know
the private school kid cheeseIts is like, you know, the private school kid.
Cheez-Nips is like, oh, shit.
He's got the free lunch plan, you know, I mean,
he's got the free lunch.
That guy, hey, Cheez-Nips, street smart.
Cheez-Its, they're by the book.
I'm taking street smart all day.
Show me something I don't know.
Show me a little trade secret, Cheez Nip.
Cheez Nips knows how to light fireworks and stuff.
When Cheez Nips is like 13, he knows everything about fireworks. And you're like, and stuff. When Cheese Nips is like 13,
he knows everything about fireworks.
And you're like, oh man, I should not be doing this,
but I'm hanging out with you tonight.
And Cheese Nips is the friend your parents tell you
to stay away from.
And you just can't get enough of them.
Bro, he's always up to no good, but man, man, is it a good time. Cheese nips.
You are so right. They leave like your fingers, your whole hands wet after you bring it out
of the box of cheese nips. You're like, God dang, what's it? What's even in there? It's
like they forgot to cook them all the way through. Why are cheese nips medium rare?
You're like, wait a sec.
All right.
I don't even see them anymore.
You're so right.
It's cheese nips.
It's cheese its.
And it's those whales.
The whales are Dollar General style cheese.
I don't even know, are they still doing cheese nips?
I remember eating so many cheese nips one time
that I couldn't eat for the rest of the day.
You ever get cheese nips mouth?
Like there's cheese nips in your teeth for days.
Remember you went that one time,
you ate an unlimited amount of cheese nips.
I don't know if you took them from somewhere,
from some place.
I don't know if they're at your house
and they're kind of stale
and somebody tried to throw them away
and you just kept eating them.
But you get like up here,
you know you've had too many cheese nips
when you're doing this right the next seven days
Pinky in the back
Pinkies cleaning off your back tooth. I think it's so funny when you do when you see people do that in real life I
Always thought it was kind of nice. I'd always get that little like back
back storage unit of
Food when I was eating Austin crackers. Oh
those cheese on cheese Austin crackers
God those seemed like a national treasure growing up. That was that was always the a1 snack
Remembering like in some like
Classrooms your teacher would be like bring a snack, we're having snack every day.
You need to keep your brains powered.
Shut up.
My parents were like, a snack?
Jesus Christ, dude, I never had a snack one day.
But sometimes some weird random rare occurrences,
I'd get the variety pack of Austin crackers.
And you save that cheese on cheese for last,
because you're like, what the hell?
Is this Cheetos?
That's the closest thing I had to Cheetos.
People would bring in the craziest snacks.
Pringles in the Pringle container.
Remember the Pringle container that was plastic? My friend would just have 30 Pringles in the Pringle container remember the Pringle container that was plastic and my friend would just have Pringles
30 Pringles and it looked like a deck of cards just ready
The peanut butter on peanut butter awesome crackers not bad either not bad either
The cheese peanut butter awesome crackers, I was, did you guys like accidentally make this up?
I always thought those were so weird.
Cheese cracker, peanut butter in the middle.
What was the peanut butter made out of in Austin crackers?
I'm like, that is not peanut.
It's like the thinnest fake peanut butter pepperoni
I've ever seen in my life.
But you know, the most slept on Austin cracker
This guy really likes awesome crap. Do you like love Austin crackers? Do you wish your name was fucking Austin ash?
We don't cuss on the podcast, okay?
the most slept on
Austin cracker flavor
Was that weird wheat one?
Remember that it was like wheat crack one. Remember that?
It was like wheat cracker, cheese, that was hidden.
And I think people figured it out sooner or later.
People were like, oh, this is a good one.
Because they started selling those
at the gas station solo.
I was like, oh!
The poster child, Frost and Crackers, those wheat joints.
Man, but the cheese on cheese couldn't be denied either
Kind of cheese nippy little cheese nippy. Those are always getting stuck in the back of your teeth. Oh
God, okay. Yeah. Oh
What are you doing? What are you doing?
It's 4 p.m. What are you doing? Oh, I had a pack of Austin crackers on the way to school at 8 42 a.m.
What are you talking about?
It's been more than five hours and it's still stuck in your teeth. Yeah, I love it
Just keep going
DJ ill will I think about you every day. No, I'm just kidding. Let me stop. Um
I think that's gonna be choco tacos.
I want it back now.
I love you.
Just be a weirdo on the pod. Leave a voice message, be a weirdo.
I know you got it in ya.
Don't hold back, don't hold back.
Choco Tacos, never got the chance.
Seemed like they're always $30 at the ice cream truck
or in the, oh man, you know you're real down bad. When you go in the gas station, you go to the ice cream truck or in the in the man, you know You're real down bad when you go in the gas station you go to the ice cream chest the ice cream treasure chest
You got you got money to blow in the gas station that's like the top that's like the top
You know when you go to great times get enough tickets and you like all the all the stuff in the case is like
It's all it's all locked away. There's DVDs in there
There's special stuff in there. There's a nerf gun in there. There's a laser tag set. There's some beanie babies
You're like what did somebody bring those from their house and put them in how they have all this stuff in the case
How many tickets do I have to have for that? There's a PlayStation you're oh
What I have to do to get that?
I just wanna know, who was the kid
who was buying the stuff in the case?
Like, at Great Times, Chuck E. Cheese,
Dave and Buster's even.
How good do you have to be?
Yeah, I went to Dave and Buster's over the weekend.
Oh, for real, that's cool, was it fun?
Like, thinking they won nothing.
Won an Xbox.
Excuse me?
Like, that's your, like, you're done now.
You're done with your whole life that you're done.
You're done.
You don't, like, you don't, that person doesn't go to the NFL after that.
Like that's, they've peaked.
You want an Xbox?
Just by playing the Barbie spray game?
What?
Like I felt, I felt like the only way you could win
that stuff in the case at the arcade
was if a game malfunctioned and you just kind of, oh my God, tickets keep coming.
I always thought that was gonna happen.
You go in an arcade and just tickets.
I was like, oh my God, they're gonna keep coming out.
They always stopped.
I'd always get sick and be like, God damn it.
Sucked at every game.
That's what the Choco Taco was to me in the gas station.
You go in the gas station,
there's that frozen dessert chest.
Oh Lord.
There's Blue Bunny Pints in there.
There's the Nestle Cookie Sandwich in there.
But you're always looking for that chrome package.
Where's my chrome?
You see it, light hits off of it, there it is, Choco Taco.
It's probably $7, but you're like,
there's just something about that shape of food,
and it's a dessert.
They're always sold out, They're always $17 and I don't think
they even sold them in stores.
Did they?
Any rich people ever, did their moms ever
buy Choco Tacos growing up?
That seems ridiculous.
Even on my best day, nobody's buying Choco Tacos.
A big pack of Chocooco tacos seems illegal to have.
It seems like when, you know how people have like gone
to jail for like 20 years for having a bulletproof vest
in their car.
I'm always like a bulletproof vest, who cares?
You can't kill anybody with that.
That's what I feel like happens when you have a box
of choco tacos in your freezer.
Like if you got your house raided.
They got their choco tacos, lock them up.
Insane. Let just keep going.
Okay, so I normally never do this.
I never go and talk on a podcast.
I don't talk at all.
But I saw this post and I had to talk about it.
Let's go.
The McDonald's snack wrap.
Yeah?
Ever since I was discontinued,
my life has been incomplete.
And I don't know, people don't talk about it enough.
And I need the snack rap back because it was my go to.
And that shit was so good.
And McDonald's, please bring it back.
Like there's rumors that is coming back.
So I'm not really sure.
But that is the one thing that genuinely needs to, it just needs to come back.
It will make lives so much better
if McDonald's brought back their snack wrap.
But yeah, that's the meal.
She was, she branched out.
She got out of her comfort zone
because she loves McDonald's snack wraps that much.
That's a person I want to be friends with.
Like I don't ever do this, but I love snack wraps so much.
I'm doing this.
Oh, I love people like that.
About it.
Yeah, there was absolutely nothing wrong
with the McDonald's snack wrap.
Not one thing.
Nothing. My mom thing. Nothing.
My mom always bought them.
In a pinch?
You can't get burgers.
You can't...
You're trying to be healthy.
Snack wrap.
There's a grilled one.
I remember opening up a snack wrap.
Remember the first time you saw inside of a snack wrap?
Open it up, there's just some stupid lettuce.
There's just some shredded cheese.
There's not even any sauce, not on the ones I ever got.
Three things, pure.
Sliced up chicken.
Maybe, maybe my mom, I swear to my mom,
we get 12 grilled chicken snap
Snack wraps and they'd always they one of them would always be
crispy chicken
That is a life life-altering moment the first time you're like, oh my god, this is what this can taste like
The first time you're like, oh my god, this is what this can taste like?
Yeah, don't let me.
Don't leave me around crispy chicken.
Grilled fire, eat in one second.
I'll eat five of them.
Shoo, shoo, shoo, shoo, shoo.
So good.
Three ingredients, cheese, lettuce, chicken. In a big tortilla? Perfect.
Like on some active, I gotta go, I gotta go here, I gotta go here, I don't have time to make food.
Snack wraps. In the name? Don't get me started. Hey, food. Love it. The name of food? That puts it over the top. That puts it on Rushmore.
Snack wrap? Come on!
You can make a wrap. Snack wrap back!
Ah! Snack wrap back!
I don't even know what... Oh, you put some honey mustard on there?
Shut up!
I'm gonna get kicked out of this hotel.
Is there something going on? It sounds like domestic abuse and say-
It sounds like someone's getting, uh, sexually harassed
inside of this hotel room. Is everything okay?
We're talking about snack wraps. We're talking about snack wraps.
Okay, I'm sorry. I just- I just- Hey!
We're talking about the crispy chicken ones.
Can you leave us alone?
She's like us, just me and this camera.
How weird would that be?
How much sense would that make?
Something about a plain grilled snack wrap.
10 out of 10.
10 out of 10. I don't even need to put anything on it but
sometimes you put it in that little there's like a sweet and spicy sauce you
could dip it in. McDonald's did really they did they they did their thing on
the sauce dipping containers. It was like a little a little a tiny mini tub. Gosh. And it was a
perfect size to fit everything in there. Fries, bye-bye. Snack wrap, fold it up
real tight. You know you got a snack wrap, it's kind of loose. They did fold
them kind of loose like out of the gate. I'd open it up and be like damn he didn't even
try. And that's where you'd see the inside of the gate. I'd open it up and be like, damn, he didn't even try?
And that's where you'd see the inside of it.
And then you wrap it up real tight.
You're like trying to show him.
You're like, this is how it's done.
Real tight snack wrap.
Pfft.
Right into the honey mustard.
Oh, get out.
Hey, bite of the night.
That first one, actually it's the middle one. Bite of the night. That first one, actually, it's the middle one.
Bite of the night. Right in there.
Everything's perfect.
Tight, tight, rolled snack wrap.
The Toffee Sundays from McDonald's.
Oh, my God. I think about them religiously every single day.
And how they're not here anymore.
And it just makes me so sad.
I'm sad right now. Toffee Sundays.
I don't think I ever had one of those.
That might have been limited a dish.
You might have.
Am I stupid?
I feel like I would know about that.
I would never get one, though, because I hot fudgeudge Sunday and McDonald's I had me had me in a choke
hold
Sometimes I'd wild out and get caramel like on like on some
On a bad decision I would get caramel
Did they even have strawberry? I don't think they did
Don't get me started on McDonald's Sundays
I don't think they did. Don't get me started on McDonald's Sundays.
I've got a me and McDonald's Sundays go, we have history.
You get the hot fudge.
Oh my God.
God dang it's a perfect temperature, right?
Hot fudge.
So put some respect on hot fudge.
Hot fudge on literally anything.
Cookies. Imagine a chocolate chip cookie warm.
Oh, it's got hot fudge in the middle of it.
Oh, come on.
They're doing that for a second.
Nestle was doing some infused cookies.
It was so much chocolate.
I was like.
Every time I took a bite of those Nestle cookies,
I forget what they were calling them.
Do they have them anymore?
They had a little thick mound of chocolate inside of it.
They weren't just chocolate chips.
There was a puddle of hot fudge inside of the cookies. I'm like, why would you not get these? I'd take a bite.
These are the ones! These are the ones my mom got them! Looking at my friends. These are the ones my mom got them!
They're looking at me like, dude, it's just a cookie. I'm like you don't understand
How many bad cookies I've had these have a soft gooey chocolate thing in the middle
And the whole time I'm explaining this to them one of my teeth has chocolate over so it doesn't look like I have a front tooth
You know you've
You think this is just everyday shit, huh? One of my teeth is black.
Cause that's chocolate.
Dude, dipping those in milk, man.
Get back on task.
Toffee Sundays, man, it would be good.
It would be good, but I would never, never cheat
on hot fudge Sundays from McDonald's with a toffee Sunday.
If I was there late and they were like,
we don't have any more hot fudge, we have toffee though,
I'd be like, all right.
And then it ended up being real good.
And I'd be like, damn, toffee's pretty good,
but I'm still never getting it again
It's if you went to a cool McDonald's and
They twist it up your fudge and caramel and toffee. I just got the chills. I
Just got the chills
Yeah, can I get a hot fudge Sunday?
Can you throw some caramel on there to say throw?
So it's like a little easier for him to like, yeah, he said throw.
It doesn't have to be that much. Throw it on.
You know, if you get a chance.
But Toffee never saw it.
Hi, Benny.
I'm sorry.
I feel like I always have to start these off with an apology because I always forget to
answer your question of the week.
I'm either like away or I see it and I'm like, oh, I need to do that and then I forget or
whatever.
You good, Ma.
You good.
I'm sorry.
It's been like three weeks.
You're a fan.
But anyway. We good. This isn't a discontinued food or drink.
It's just something that I miss having.
So as I've said a thousand times, I'm from Long Island.
I live in Pennsylvania now.
God, the birds. Can you hear the birds behind her?
What a beautiful day it is wherever she is.
Reminiscing about food.
And I miss 7-Eleven.
Oh yeah.
We used to have 7-Elevens like within
like every freaking corner, whatever.
That was actually my first job, 7-Eleven.
But I miss having taquitos and Slurpees.
So I used to get three taquitos,
one Monterrey Jack, one taco and cheese and one buffalo chicken. And I get a medium Slurpees. So I used to get three taquitos, one Monterey Jack,
one taco and cheese and one buffalo chicken
and I get a medium Slurpee
and I usually would mix two flavors together,
usually blue and red.
Yeah.
Depending on like if they had a new flavor or whatever.
I just miss having that combo.
And it's not like a meal.
It's a perfect, oh, I haven't eaten since breakfast. Yeah it's not like a meal, it's a perfect,
oh I haven't eaten since breakfast,
it's too early for dinner.
It's so much fun.
Let me just go grab taquitos and a surf meat.
It's so much fun.
I really, really miss that.
Again, not a discontinued food or beverage item,
and I'm sorry that I feel like I never answer these
correctly.
You don't have to.
Give exactly what you asked but I just miss those.
I miss them.
Every time I go back home to Long Island, I usually get taquitos and slurpee.
I was just there like last week.
I love how.
And I got taquitos and slurpee on my way back to Pennsylvania.
So alright, that's it. I to Pennsylvania. So, all right.
I love this. I love you guys. I love you.
But I love how we're talking about food like it's our
lifelong relationship and they died one day.
I just do it.
It's you know how much she cares about 7-Eleven.
That's people I want wanna hang out with.
It's the best.
7-Eleven is, you respect 7-Eleven.
Like as a person who, did you guys?
I gotta stay on task.
Stay on task.
As a person who goes inside of a lot of convenience stores,
I can't even think of another convenience store right now. Am I tripping? Circle K. There's no like 7-eleven
Obucky's really popping off. You know, there are some that I'm like this is this is an in this a fabulous
Establishment you got here
Was it called like Swift's or something?
They all got the weirdest names,
but inside you're just like,
man, this is like a rich person's gas station.
Remember the first time you went into a Flying J?
The first time you went into a Pilot,
you were like, holy shit.
Hold on. Wait, where holy shit. Hold on.
Wait, where are we?
Hold on.
Why?
You're looking at your dad and you're like,
he's like, get over here, we're just gonna get gas,
we're gonna go, do you want something?
And you say no because you know he's just gonna say no.
Because you want a Rice Krispie treat,
but he's like, no.
First time I walked into like a truck stop pilot,
I was like, what the hell?
They have, oh, I'm just stopping at the gas station.
Yep, filling up the tank.
Might get a water, a diet Coke.
And there's swords on the wall.
Dude, there's clothing in there.
There's sweats, there's gas station merch.
Any kind of adapter outlet you can think of.
Dude, the glass case inside of a Pilot? Oh my god.
I'm like, why would you ever buy,
you could buy groceries at Pilot.
You could buy a whole new wardrobe at Pilot.
You could buy like a whole Dungeons and Dragons costume
at Pilot.
Who's buying this?
And there's showers and a buffet in there.
I'm like, this is honestly, I don't want to leave.
But did you hear what that guy said on TikTok?
This obvious, this hit my for you page.
This was for me.
For you page was doing its job on this one.
Dude was like, yo, never go into a gas station because you never see anybody like that you care about in the gas station not
that you care about but like any you never see like a respectable like oh
god that's a admirable person in a gas station bro broke my heart I was like
god damn I love gas station I gas stations. I'll never stop.
I'll never stop.
Most fun I've ever had, gas station.
Yeah, but when I walk into 7-Eleven, I feel like I need to salute or something.
I feel like I need, every time I walk into a 7-Eleven,
I feel like I need to genuflect.
Do one of these,
zim, zim, zim, zim, zim, zim. I need to payuflect. Do one of these,
I need to pay my respects. I'm like, can I, do you guys have a holy water in here?
You just go up to the slushy machine,
kind of like take it from underneath, you know what I mean?
The nozzle's always a little drippy.
Put some blue raspberry on your forehead.
Amen.
7-Eleven is the king, the OG convenience store.
You can't hate 7-Eleven.
They've always done it right.
Orange and green?
7-Eleven?
Ah, it's hard!
Slushies do go crazy in there.
I always wonder, like,
you ever just wanted to give it all up
and be like a clerk at a gas station?
What do they go through every day?
Are they, I just wanna know,
every time somebody works at a gas station
or a pizza place or a, yeah, I work at McDonald's.
Oh my God, I used to work at Burger King.
Oh, nah-uh.
I worked at a Chili's one time. Like all want to know is like what do you get like what's the deal for you?
Since you work there
Like you work at a 7-eleven are they just like yeah, you can kind of eat whatever you want under this amount of money
That's what I think happens. That's half the reason I would work at a 7-eleven if they're like you get 40 bucks a day. I'd be like
They're like, okay
You know what? We'll just we'll let you know. We'll let you know. We'll put you on schedule. We'll let you know never call me
That guy was like really excited to work here only for the chips. I wouldn't be able to
handle it. If I worked out of 7-Eleven, I would walk around every second and be like,
what am I going to get? When am I going to get to shake these peanuts?
I might be the hungriest person alive, but I do remember on spring break, I thought I was so cool.
I brought, I bought slushies from 7-Eleven because I only saw 7-Elevens once a remember on spring break. I thought I was so cool I brought I bought slushies from 7-eleven because I only saw 7-elevens once a year on spring break in Florida because they're like Florida
They're like coast
convenience stores
There's really not a 7-eleven like in the Midwest in Indiana where I grew up. There's not one
There might be like a weird one that was closed and turned. Remember Village Pantry?
Oh my God.
Dude, are Village Pantry and 7-Eleven cousins?
Dude, Village Pantry.
What?
I used to love Village Pantry.
I thought Village Pantry was the coolest.
I was like, you can just go in, this is sick.
And then remember Village P pantries rebrand they rebranded and I was like is this for women
It was like pink and sexy. I was like, this is Victoria's Victoria's Secret like rebranded village pantry
Is this like the WNBA's convenience store?
It was so pink and like cursive and sexy I was like can I buy lingerie in here?
Or is this the place where I'm getting the eight pack of Austin crackers?
The Village Pantry rebrand I think it took the nation by surprise whoa whoa hey uh huh
the the OG logo like had an orange on it it was like oh
Village pantry hell yeah, you felt like dude when you saw a village pantry you felt like you lived in a village
If there's a village pantry by a neighborhood. I was like oh, this is this really is a village, okay?
Grandma's cookies
They're like not even good. They are. When you're in your car.
Grandma's cookies. I've had some experiences with grandma's cookies. Like too many.
Village pantry rebrand.
They went under, man. They rebranded so hard, they went out of business.
There you'll you'll always see a weird village pantry in the corner of a of a
like a area right side, right outside of the city.
And you're like, oh, God, bad neighborhood. They're always in the worst spots
Village pantry dude village pantry in 7-eleven two juggernauts of my childhood
Okay, so I think this item was probably slept on, but Wendy's used to have this amazing Chicken Caesar wrap,
but not just on a wrap, it was on this thick,
delightful, delicious pita bread.
The chicken was so good.
The Parmesan cheese, I used to get that every time
I went to Wendy's and then one day poof
Never again, why do they rest in peace to the best?
chicken caesar wrap I'll ever have in my life. Yeah
Man, that was a beautiful
voice message
I couldn't tell if you were oh my god, and I think that was one take too
You sound like my sister or something
Wendy's was really like That was one take too. You sound like my sister or something.
Wendy's was really like, Wendy's was like that with the health food.
I'll always remember girls being like,
yeah, but Wendy's salads?
Like I've heard that come out of a girl's mouth,
like more than 30 times.
Wendy's salads though.
I'd be like, oh shit, really?
Wendy's is doing salads like that?
Wendy's Sneaky is everybody's favorite fast food restaurant.
Like you're never mad at them, you know?
Wendy's you're like, yeah, actually yeah.
There's nothing anybody hates about Wendy's.
McDonald's, you kind of hate it a little bit because they're
like the top dogs and like they need to McDonald's really try to get their
McCafe going and it's just it you're doing too much Mickey D's you just stick
to the plan you could tell McDonald's really wanted to take out Starbucks and
now I think they bought them things I think of every single day.
But Wendy's, nobody dislikes Wendy's. You're just like, yeah, you know what?
I could find something I'd like there.
And people you don't expect really love Wendy's,
and it makes you like them even more.
I liked this girl.
And she was like, she asked me what I was doing. I was like, nothing. And I asked her and she was like,
she asked me what I was doing.
I was like nothing and I asked her what she was doing.
She's like, just got the biggie bag from Wendy's.
And I was like, God, how did that make me
in love with you now?
You're like Wendy's gang?
That's what I wanted to say, but I was like, I can't,
she's gonna think I'm stupid.
But I wanted to be like, so you're Wendy's gang?
Like, is that your number one?
That's all I wanna know. That's all I need to know about somebody so you're Wendy's gang? Like, is that your number one? That's all I wanna know.
That's all I need to know about somebody.
What's your number one?
What, like my number one red fog?
No, like what's your favorite fast food restaurant?
And what do you get?
And that's all I really need to know about you ever.
She said the biggie bag from Wendy's.
I was like, yo, you taking that out so low?
No, I know you're not.
It's a beautiful part about having a girlfriend.
You always just get to eat half their food.
It's such a, such a, and you never remember,
it's a great surprise.
Oh my God, I'm so hungry that you four bites, you're like.
When a girl says she's gonna eat her,
yeah, I'm gonna eat it tomorrow at work,
I'm like, actually, no, you're not.
I'm sorry, but no, you're not.
I'll email you an entire menu of food at work tomorrow.
If you, yeah, but I have to eat that right now.
I'm sorry.
You're not.
No, I like went in for work.
Well, I'm sorry.
Rules are rules and this is where I come in.
I'm eating all the rest of your food.
And I'm gonna eat it in a way that
you're gonna be like, what the hell?
Watching your girlfriend eat food like, oh man, you have no idea what I would do that.
Watching your girl eat food after you ate.
You know, after you eat and you're even more hungry than before you ate
I'll eat a whole meal and be like even hungrier
Don't know how this adds up even hungrier and she's like still like on our third bite and you're like
If you got up and left for ten minutes if you if you want to go to your car and get a phone charger
Bad news for you and like you could eat all their food, too
You get to honestly eat the rest of the food and they'd be like, I don't care
Dude if I got up to do something somebody ate my food, I would never talk to him again
Girls are so willy nilly with the food.
But Wendy's has slept on.
Wendy's is like the Kit Kats of fast food restaurants.
You're like, man, I could go for that whenever, actually.
Actually, it might be my favorite.
Just keep going.
Vanilla Pop Tarts.
That is amazing.
I'm always a little too scared to branch out with Pop Tarts.
Cause you know you like your OGs,
you, it's, it's just, it's just, it's just like a law.
Like I can't, I can't go to the pop-tart aisle and just not get
Brown sugar cinnamon or strawberry those are just the two pillars of pop-tarts the captains
Yep, they're picking teams, dude. Mm-hmm
Yep strawberry brown sugar cinnamon.
They're the captains and they're picking
the rest of the team.
They're the best too.
And you know it.
It's just hard to go to the pop tart section
and just be like, I'm gonna get half-hunched sundae today.
You know what?
And brown sugar cinnamon and strawberry
are forcing eye contact too.
When you walk down that aisle, they're like this.
I know you see me.
Mm-hmm, yeah.
Oh, oh, you pretended you didn't see the eight pack
over there.
Right here, big guy.
You can do all the looking you want.
You're not walking away without me.
Strawberry Pop Tarts.
Yeah, oh yeah, you can flirt with Cherry.
I've seen this before.
Oh, you're going to glance at Blueberry like that, yeah?
Okay.
Well, you're going to end up with me.
And you're going to eat me on the way home.
So keep playing your little games.
You'll be warming me up in the morning.
But I can, I don't know,
I never took a risk like that in the Pop Tart.
It was just brown sugar, cinnamon, or strawberry.
It's just, sugar cinnamon or strawberry. It's just they're too they're too reliable.
I'm a bitch. I'm a bitch.
Vanilla. Dude, if I was in the Pop Tart Isle and I grabbed the box of vanilla,
I would have to run away like strawberry and brown sugar cinnamon were chasing me.
I don't know.
It felt like it
all the way to self check out.
And I run to my car like they're chasing like they're going to break in my house.
You start eating the vanilla Pop Tart at home.
Oh, my God.
This is so good. On the door.
Eric, holy shit. Is this brother?
Is that Brits?
You hide the vanilla pop tarts. Hello!
Hello?
Knock, knock, knock, knock. Oh my God, they know where I live.
Yeah, we know where you live.
You warm us up here every day in the microwave.
Somebody told me I was weird for warming up Pop Tarts.
Ew, you might be the only person that warms up Pop Tarts in a microwave.
I like didn't have a toaster ever.
My family didn't have a toaster.
They were like, nah.
It's just, it's too dangerous, honestly.
I would have killed myself if I had a toaster.
Toasters are like a dangerous ass thing.
I don't even get how they are either.
Toaster, bathtub, dead.
Toaster with a fork.
Who's not putting a fork in there?
It shocks you?
What does it do, kill you?
I'm like, Jesus Christ, all that for a toasted pop?
Put it in the microwave.
I don't feel like ending my life
Over a pop-tart or maybe I do
Now but I do pop-tart in the microwave nine seconds
Perfect sitting on the couch with a paper plate or like a blue plastic plate
You know like your summer, your mom got summer,
summer like kitchen set, plates, cups,
they're all fun colors.
Oh my God, I'm gonna cry.
God dang.
Dude, one summer, I don't know what happened.
Something was on sale.
But my mom got all new plates, cups, bowls,
they're all like Target summer.
Plastic, just nothing perfectly shaped, so much fun.
I think she got a new umbrella for the deck.
I was like, this is summer, bro, this is summer.
That might be sad to some people,
because sometimes I talk about shit like this and people are
like you're poor bro but like that that meant them that meant hey that meant
the most Yoshi we got summer themed bowls and plates
make me some macaroni slap my ass. Couple more.
I want them to bring back sugar cookies from McDonald's.
Sugar? McDonald's always used to sell sugar cookies
and chocolate chip.
Now they just sell chocolate chip.
And I just want the sugar cookies back from McDonald's.
I feel you.
Sugar cookies are a whole different type of style.
A place gives you a chocolate chip cookie.
They give you a peanut butter cookie.
They give you an oatmeal raisin cookie, pretty much
a standard cookies.
You're like, yeah, yeah, yeah.
They all kind of taste the same.
I get where they're coming from.
But then they give you a sugar cookie. All of a sudden, you're like, wait, is, they all kind of taste the same. I get where they're coming from. But then they give you a sugar cookie,
all of a sudden you're like,
wait, is this a different recipe?
Why is this soft?
They're not like any other cookie.
They're like the wild card of cookies.
You're like, why is this sugar cookie
all different from the rest of your cookies?
It does have a unique baking style or something.
I'm like, this is great.
I can never really hang my hat on sugar cookies
when a chocolate chip was there though.
You know, I'm like, it wouldn't be bad,
but chocolate chip is just the king.
Chocolate chip is Mufasa of cookies.
Chocolate chip is Mufasa of cookies.
Peanut butter is kind of overlooked. I had a thing with peanut butter cookies
and I'll stick up for peanut butter.
I know they're not even that good
and I'll still ride for them, you know?
Just a big fan.
I'm a big fan.
Like if cookies were standing
If I saw like a peanut butter cookie walk through
Like the mall or like a target I'd come up to go up to him be like yo
Can we take a pic? This is embarrassing. I know but can we take a picture?
And be like, oh man. Yeah, what do you mean and I'd be like you just you
mean a lot to me you've you've you really helped me a lot in dark times and
he's like you don't want to say chocolate chips here you want to take a
picture with chocolate chip I'm like I've seen chocolate chip I he doesn't do what you do for me.
Selfie with peanut butter cookie.
Then I wouldn't even put it on my story.
I'd post it on my feed.
Because peanut butter cookie is a guy I want to hang out with.
Chocolate chip cookies I'm like dog alright bro yeah yeah yeah you talk
about the girls you've been you talk about the girl cookies you've been with
too much. Talk about your fast cars. Talk about your big house. Get out of here man.
We know we know we know all your endorsement deals. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, Otis Spunkmeyer my ass
Oh, I'm the number one cookie. I've always been the number one cookie. Hey, you know what?
Not to me.
I want to hang out with peanut butter cookie. I think you'd be a lot more fun
I want to hang out with peanut butter cookie. I think you'd be a lot more fun.
And sometimes a lot better than you.
Yeah, but sugar cookie sugar cookie is the girl of the cookies, you know, like the green M&M is the girl of the M&M's. Oh, M&M Cookies, that's like a,
that's like in the,
the Holy Trinity of Cookies right there. It's like M&M is like, ooh,
that's like almost a household name.
They used to be special,
now they're just like one of the,
one of the,
the boys.
They're in the starting five, dude.
The boys they're in the starting five dude
It's gonna say something about sugar cookies. Oh, yeah, I don't really even I hate to say this but
When I'm I wish I'm gonna do this. I'm gonna do this
I'm gonna rank
Fast-food cookies cuz we need know. No one's ever done it.
What's the best fast food cookie?
Like nobody has ever dipped their toe in that pond.
And I know the answer too,
but I wanna just try them all,
because you never know.
Like I can't even pull up to a McDonald's drive through wanting cookies when I know subway cookies are somewhere I'm like, well, what am I wasting my time here for?
One time they gave me some free McDonald's cookies and that stupid like wrapper that's like not even a wrapper
It's like two napkins one on top one on bottom. I was like, thanks took a bite of it
I was like
Literally in my card
Like you ever eat something like sweet and that should just knock your socks off and
It's it's so not good. You're like, I don't even want to waste my calories on these actually now that I think of it
You always end up doing it, but you're like, why like, I don't even wanna waste my calories on these actually. Now that I think of it, you always end up doing it. But you're like, why would I, I don't even really like.
McDonald's cookie.
Subway cookie?
What are they doing over there?
You can tell me how many chemicals and yoga mats
are in the subway subs?
All the bread? The vegetables are fake. The meat's fake.
The bread is yoga mat. Everything's fake.
Nobody said anything about the cookies.
I don't even know what they are. I don't want to know what they are.
I don't know what they're made of. I don't know how they're making them
Hey Don't tell me
Nobody's ever fussed about the cookies. I would be heartbroken
If a big story came out, so my cookies
Made with hula hoops, I'd be like, god damn it.
Well, I mean, you still selling them? What's going on?
How about when you walk into Subway and the cookie case, and there's no cookies in it.
You're like, wait, why? Whoa, whoa! It's like the middle of the day!
None? You're like, wait, why? Whoa, whoa, it's like the middle of the day.
None? They just have like the, you know,
like the paper on the bottom of the cookie tray.
It looks like, it's like cookie, cookie pictures.
It's just that.
You're like, this is kind of half the reason I came here
was for the cookies.
And they're like, no, no, no,
we have them baking in the oven right under the bread.
You're like, hey!
Yeah, I knew that.
I was just seeing.
I was just seeing.
Do you guys have peanut butter?
Tell Taco Bell to stop with the nacho fries
and bring back sangria blast please I don't
know cuz nacho fries right now you guys are lucky that walls all the way back
there cuz I'd be slapping the piss out of it nacho fries what'd you say sangria
blast bahablah what'd you say I didn't even know that was a thing.
Sangria confuses me.
And bring back Sangria Blast, please.
Sangria Blast.
What are we talking about here? What is Sangria?
I gotta know.
Cause it's always been intimidating to me.
Like is it alcohol?
Spanish wine punch.
Okay, okay, okay, okay.
Everybody's always talking about Sangria, sangria, sangria.
It sounds really good.
Red wine mixed with fruit juice, chopped fruit, sparkling water, or lemonade, sometimes brandy.
Oh no, I'm good on that.
God, once you start putting brandy and stuff, I'm like, oh gosh.
Red wine with fruit juice, chopped fruit in sparkling water?
Sounds like my new Instagram bio.
That sounds amazing.
Dude, you put a bunch of cut up fruit in anything,
I'm drinking it.
Let alone wine and punch.
I think Sangria should probably be more of a big deal.
You telling me they had Sangria non-alcoholic at Taco Bell with sparkling water and fruit in it?
I would throw that against the side of the building.
I'll take 32.
Geez, 32?
Yeah.
Walk outside six hours later to smoke a cigarette on your work break at Taco Bell.
There's 32 Sangria cups on the
ground because I threw them all at the wall. Sorry, I just, I love them. Took a sip out
of each one like it was a grenade. God damn it's good. Jesus Christ. Wall covered in red
sangria. Now you're right about that. I never had that or heard about it, but Jesus Christ, you're right.
Okay, it was like these like, they had them at 7-Eleven when you would check out.
It was these like sorbry things, but they were like, the outside was like candy, and the inside was juice.
And it would still come with a straw, but it was like, it was like candy and inside was juice. And it would still come with a straw, but it was like candy.
It was like you would suck the juice out
and then you'd eat like the way,
it was like a miniature slurpee thing, but it was candy.
What?
Those things were absolute crack like 10, 15 years ago.
Absolutely ridiculous.
How come I can't, I kinda know what you're talking about,
but I can't really figure it out.
Okay, it was like these like,
they had them at 7-Eleven when you would check out.
It was these like slurpy things,
but they were like, the outside was like candy
and inside was juice.
And it would still come with a straw,
but it was like, it was like candy.
It was like you would suck the juice out
and then you'd like eat like the way,
it was like a miniature slurpy thing, but it was candy.
Those things were absolute crack like 10, 15 years ago.
Absolutely ridiculous.
7-Eleven Slurpee Spray Candy?
Is that it?
That looks amazing.
God, it kind of looks like a Ring Pop.
Ring Pops are like, they are special.
Like you see a bag of candy assorted Halloween style,
like just with a bunch of like crazy random shit in there
And there's a ring pop you kind of like take make note of it. You're like, oh shit. There's a ring pop in there and
Then you grab kind of like what you like and you grab the ring pop on the way out
You can tell a ring pop is special too because like the packaging it comes in like that plastics a little thicker
I'm like, oh you you paid for the good plastic.
Ring pops are serious, dude.
Seriously overlooked, too.
And they have kinds with swirls in them and stuff.
Ring pops, bro.
Don't sleep on them.
Cool ass candy.
And then you get to the bottom,
you start doing this thing.
Just grinding away at it with your two,
just these four teeth, just the stem in the middle.
Just.
Pfft.
Pfft.
What are you doing?
Oh, nothing.
34 years old.
Oh, nothing, I was just getting all the sucker
off my Ring Pop.
What's up?
Do you need something?
Red Ring Pop with the blue like
little ring it comes on, the blue plastic ring.
Gas.
I've never seen this 7-Eleven slurpee candy thing though.
This looks dangerous.
Slurpee logo, god.
Slush pop puppy
Slush puppy and someone who ever thought of the slush puppy goddamn get over here and kiss me marry me
Singing in the shower. Skip gone.
OK, the discontinued foods that I want back are the 3D Doritos.
And then if you were really rich,
you also had the 3D Dorito to go.
They were not a pack.
In the cup.
Crazy, dude.
But they were in a tube
I'm amazing amazing mini. Yeah, and then
Laffy taffy that looked like a watermelon. Oh god
Like black seeds, but they were like candy black seeds. You could actually eat them.
And then number three is Sprite Remix.
I used to love Sprite Remix.
Yeah, that was really good.
Sprite Remix is perfect.
But dude, you were so dead.
Dude, these are amazing right here.
These are great.
3D Doritos in the designated like car plastic cup that fit into your cup holder.
It was actually the thing it came in, the container it came in like silhouetted down to your cup holder so you could put it in there.
Who's so rich that they're like, you know, I'll take this on the road
In the cup holder imagine going into your homie's car, he's got 3d Doritos in a cup holder I'd be like
Just grab the back of his head he's driving you're in the passenger seat
Not that I would ever do that
Yeah, that that that is you you had to be so that had to be eight dollars, right?
I never really saw anybody with it. I
Was just like that is a special chip Doritos are amazing
3d Like that is a special chip. Doritos are amazing. 3D?
Bring him back in the summer.
Just bring him back in the summer.
Those at a 4th of July?
You walking up to a 4th of July with 3D Doritos?
What's up, Hoes?
Your family cookout.
What's up, Hoes?
Where the bitch is at?
3D Doritos.
Who does he think he is? He just walked up in here.
3D Doritos.
Maybe the first exotic candy I ever saw when I was a kid.
I was at the pool, community pool. Never allowed to get snacks.
Just because, I don't know. We were already at the pool, community pool, never allowed to get snacks, just because, I don't know,
we were already at the pool, that's a treat enough.
I was already acting like an idiot.
I never even got to, I didn't even get to make eye contact
with the concession stand at the community pool.
But like, you know, there's always like one candy,
and the kids know, bro.
There's always one candy that's like super popular.
And I'm like, everybody has one of those goddamn.
What are those?
Like 17 cool kids had them running around.
It's like, how does it just spreads like wildfire
when there's like a cool like, oh, my God thing.
It's the Laffy Taffy. Looks like a dog's tongue.
Pink Laffy Taffy.
Seam down the middle.
Longest, I was like, how are they giving you this much?
You know when somebody like, like king size candy bars came out, you were just like, how
are they even allowed to sell that much candy?
Like the Kit Kats, or the,
remember the first time you saw a king-sized Reese's
with four in it?
I was like, God damn,
the things I would do for just one and four?
Dude, amazing.
Laugh, yeah, this is just in the price.
People treat Laffy Taffy like, whoever's selling Laffy Taffy doesn't know what they have on their hands, honestly.
Every concession stand, Laffy Daffy? Oh yeah.
This big one that's the size of 13 dog's tongues?
It's 80 cents. I'm like what?
And the little ones those little Laffy Taffys are everywhere they're a penny I'm like
Excuse me
God Laffy Taffy is so balls
Put some respect on Laffy Taffy is so boss. Put some respect on Laffy Taffy! Comes with a joke.
Grape, you ever have grape?
You don't think it's gonna be good?
You eat grape, your whole life changes.
You eat strawberry, you're like,
I expected this to be really good.
You eat grape, all of a sudden you're drooling
and shit in the back.
What'd you say?
Oh my God.
Oh. Are you high? What are you doing? Oh
Are you high what are you doing? Oh, sorry, I just had a great laughy taffy and I lost all
Motor controls
Lost functioning of my hands and wrists because I had great life. He taffy so good
Amazing even banana bro, and you're down bad. There's a bunch of banana life taffy right, you know, all right, I'll eat it
You don't want to be rally in the package the way the package is like puffed up with air
So the green oh don't get me started on the green. The green feels like, oh Jesus Christ. The green feels like you eat it and you're like, oh my god, I know some of my
like my like different homies like this is the best, you know. You're like, this is,
I'm walking into their world with this green flavor. Crazy. But the way that extra long
Laffy Taffy the pink one dog's tongue
with the seeds on it the way they put
the seeds on it just to make it look
like watermelon in the way I thought
those were actual watermelon seeds in
the way I still do.
I'm like, these have to be real. So what are they?
Are they are they just candies?
These are real watermelon seeds on this thing.
I felt like it would never end the day I had to go buy it.
I knew my mom never was never going for that one.
If a kid had a cool candy, I was not getting it.
I think I was like 17 and I went to the gas station. Let me in here! I swung the doors open like they owed me money.
Who runs this gas station?
Point me to the dog tongue, Laffy Taffy Pink with
watermelon seeds on it.
I bought one and ate it in my car. It never ended. I
think I just finished it eight hours ago. It stretches. It's so good. Are
you sure those are gone? I think they are too because I think I went like kind of
recently. When I say recently, I mean in the last seven years
To look for it and I didn't think I could find I was like, ah, it's just probably not at this gas station I gave it hope. Ah, it's probably not this one every gas station. Go that's probably it. That's right
Sprite remix feels like it should be a thing that should always be around
Sprite in the word remix are kind of the same word to me for some reason
Sprite remix perfect
God Sprite Sprite is just the coolest goddamn. You know if the drinks were chillin Coke Pepsi Mountain Dew, Dr. Pepper
Fanta Fanta, Fanta, whatever.
If they're all hanging out, like it'd be, it'd be cool.
It'd be cool.
Mountain Dew would be so annoying.
Pepsi would be trying to like, you know,
trying to be all cool, trying to suck up and be like Coke.
Coke's like the guy, you know, you know
He's like the cool guy
Dr. Pepper's just like kind of like
He's like the real like everybody loves Dr. Pepper man
Everybody loves Dr. Pepper, but coke just won't let him have the top spot ever. He won't let him
He's always like, you know, dissing them or something like that.
Anytime Dr. Pepper does something good, Coke's like, yeah, OK, dude,
like, won't let him shine, you know.
Fanta is obviously the hottest girl of all time.
But then when Sprite walks in that party, everybody's like, oh shit.
Sprite's here.
Sprite's here.
What?
Oh my God, Sprite's here.
What's up Sprite?
All of a sudden, hey.
All of a sudden you get a little cooler.
Maybe a little bit of black scent.
You know what I'm saying?
Sprite walks in the door.
You don't just say, what's up Sprite?
Sprite walks in the door.
You Dap Sprite up.
Oh Sprite, what's, hey.
It's what's up, it's what's up, it's what's up.
Mountain Dew, what's up?
Pepsi, what's up?
Coke, what's up?
You see Sprite?
Sprite, what's up? Pepsi, what's up? Coke, what's up? You see Sprite? Sprite, what's good?
Sprite's just a little...
Sprite's got something about it, bro.
Sprite remix?
Sprite brought his cousin?
Sprite remix is gas.
Cool label, too.
Gang, ignore the crying baby.
But I need that hot honey chicken waffle sandwich from Hardy's
back bro.
What the hell were they thinking?
They tripping.
Oh my God.
Yeah, I'm stuck on that.
I'm stuck on that too.
This is a crazy intro.
Dude, check this out.
Who's dying?
Gang, ignore the crying baby. But I need that.
That's not a crying baby, bro. That's just like a crying, like,
28 year old. What's this shit?
Hot honey.
Gang, ignore the crying baby. But I need...
Dude, that's a 28 year old that just got his foot cut off in your closet. I'm the guy that should be eating at Hardee's. I'm the guy that should, I've never had Hardee's,
but I got really, really hungry.
I'm gonna go get some food.
I'm gonna go get some food.
I'm gonna go get some food.
I'm gonna go get some food.
I'm gonna go get some food.
I'm gonna go get some food.
I'm gonna go get some food.
I'm gonna go get some food.
I'm gonna go get some food.
I'm gonna go get some food.
I'm gonna go get some food. I'm gonna go get some food. I'm gonna go get some food. I'm gonna go get some mysterious. I'm the guy that should be eating at Hardee's.
I'm the guy that should, I've never had Hardee's,
but I got real close when I had that $8 burger come out.
Remember that?
That commercial for the $8 burger.
It was like a restaurant style burger.
I was like, oh damn!
Like, so they have like an Outback Steakhouse Burger at
Hardy's now. That is sick. And the marketing they did for that. They had like a hot girl eating it.
Remember the noises? The sound effects on that commercial. How'd they do that looks so good. I never got it.
Hardee's $8 burger.
They did a great job with that.
Never been there, but they got that hot honey waffle.
Waffle what? That sounds amazing.
Chicken waffle sandwich from Hard Hardy's back, bro.
What the hell were they thinking?
They tripping.
God, I bet that was so good.
Damn, I bet that was so good.
Hot honey, it is so dangerous.
It's a thing.
Hot honey is a thing.
I've been trying to replicate
a girl I used to date. Always talks about it.
Always talks about a girl I used to date.
Those are the times you remember.
With the people you don't forget.
We got a frozen pizza. Two of them.
I was like, this is great.
How are you gonna attack this?
I don't know how, this always happens.
It's happened with a different girl too.
I'll always get frozen pizzas with girls.
Or they get it, for some reason I'm with a girl
and there's frozen pizza.
And they always cut it so well.
Like I was cutting a frozen pizza across the top, other direction. It's in fours
now. I'm looking to cut it two more times. So it's like the thin try and perfect triangles.
And the girl grabs my hand and she goes, that's all it needs to be. And I was like, that was the hottest thing anyone has ever done.
Grabs my hand with a pizza cutter. Hey, that's all it needs to be.
So now it's just big, four big triangles in here. I was like, you're right.
You're right. It's just a frozen pizza. Why am I making this like it's from Pizza Hut?
It's just a frozen pizza. The crispiness of it.
They had a hot honey California pizza kitchen,
frozen pizza.
Pepperonis, drizzle hot honey on it.
I just could never make it like my ex did.
And I tried a lot. never make it like my ex did.
And I tried a lot,
Jane Daniel, I tried a lot.
I just couldn't figure it out. And the way she cut it was like uneven in four.
And I was like, oh my, how did you even think to do that?
Everything was perfect.
And I swear I tried so hard to cook it perfect.
Could never do it.
I think I tried seven times.
Couldn't get it right.
Couldn't get it right.
But hot honey on stuff is different.
Oh, here we go.
We gotta hurry up a little bit.
What up, Benny?
If I'm gonna name a discontinued beverage or food item, it definitely
has to be a good old proprietary list of Jack 3D, the classic version. Yeah. I don't think I've ever Oh. or something. But, you know, I think if it's taken responsibly, it can be worthwhile.
So bring it back.
I think we all miss those highs from from that pre workout.
Thanks, bro. Dog, dog.
Blast from the
jacked pre workout.
It looks so cool.
It looks like you're buying a professional
like powder as a
Bodybuilder or something it like looked real simple on the outside jacked pre-workout. The E was a 3 I think backwards
I was like, okay, this is
Exactly what I needed to be and
The only thing in color was the word jacked and I was like this is so cool
Like this does look a little scary. It looks intimidating. It looks so smart. You know those people that are so smart
You're like, I don't even know if I want to talk to you
Because you're just gonna figure out how dumb I am that would that's what jacked was I
Remember I took one scoop I was trying to get off season. I was like I want to get fucking I want to get popped
I'm trying to get stupid big in the offseason like I'm trying to come back like
I'm trying to you know when you just you get on that you're like I'm trying to be so strong
Like people are gonna be like what this guy what?
Like people are gonna be like what this guy what?
Somebody you always got a friend that's got a hookup at GNC or you know them
Hey, dude, if you just give me like 80 bucks, I can get you like way more than
What it can get you. You always got the plug
I've never had a plug for anything just
GNC
Obviously look like I own look like I'm the regional manager
Got jacked took a scoop put it in a Gatorade water bottle swished it around I was like I'm gonna go this is about to be the most different workout
hit it drank the whole thing walking over to the gym probably like a
200 yard walk. Just I wanted it all.
I wanted to activate.
Didn't feel a thing.
Didn't feel a thing.
It was the big talk too.
Bro, you take jacked?
Yeah, I do.
How do you like it?
Does it make you like tingle?
I was like, I haven't eaten, no, nothing.
Nothing.
Try it again, two scoops.
Just kind of whatever.
You know, kind of same thing.
Just like, it's cause you expect a lot. you ever like take a drug or like smoke and it does
it does it does absolutely nothing and everybody else is like feeling it and you're like
Dude, I forget it man. That three scoops. Stupid.
But who's not doing that?
And then I was like, okay, I'm like, I'm like tunnel vision.
I'm in.
I'm locked in.
I'm going crazy.
But then I started to think maybe I just made myself think that I'm like, I don't think
it's doing anything.
I think my brain's just like, yeah, your head, yeah, yeah.
I wanted to believe it so bad.
I think my brain just pretended that I was real like,
ah, you're going crazy, bro.
Lift hard.
I think my brain was like,
so I didn't feel bad about buying it.
But I never really really it never really hit
Sad I know sad anticlimactic, you know we gotta keep we gotta get going we gotta get through all these Oh
Anyway, love them. I was to bring back to McDonald's
There it is. I got those things were just they were there with you through thick and thin through college
Yeah after college
Those college, I think, if I'm remembering this. Tell them, Milky! Those were talking the seven layer crunch burrito at Taco Bell, I think I had them three times. Yes.
But I honestly had to Google what foods were discontinued that were good.
And that came up, I was like, holy crap, I remember!
All of it! Every bit of it!
Dan got a breech of speed. Everything before it went quote unquote. Okay,
cereal the way it was, that sounds seeming romanticized, before they had the nutritional
information on the front of the box. You know what I mean? Oh, they, oh. We're talking, no one knew
the amount of cows in there. No one knew it's serving was maybe three and a half spoonfuls.
there. No one knew it was serving was maybe three and a half spoonfuls. I miss that. Just all the good cereal before
they actually cared enough to put the nutritional info that
garbage poison on the bottom.
God is poison. Just candy.
Yeah, I think that's about all I got. So that's pretty fun. But
have a great weekend, folks.
And you know, I tell you what, come on, it's a day.
Let's record this on a Monday,
so that pun probably will make sense on a Thursday.
But you know what, it's a Thursday Thursday.
I love you, bro.
This is Tiss.
God damn it, it's good. man. It's worth every second that last little bit is worth every sec. God. It's a good screech, bro
That was out of control
Collar runs off to side of the road
Yeah, I didn't even notice cereal is doing that cereals
You got to put the nutritional facts on the front
It's an evil world we live in
I'm a cereal with just the box tops on top
You know, it doesn't get enough play
Honey grams, is that what they're called? Golden grams? Golden grams? I said honey grams. Golden grams?
I just got the chills man. We'd always weirdly have golden grams
Like they because it kind of seemed like they were okay. Golden grams? Oh my god so much milk in that bowl
Eating cereal as a kid,
it was just on surround.
Kshh, kshh, kshh.
So loud cereal, so good.
It's such a dessert.
If you really wanna just wild out,
just have some cereal, man.
Cereal at the end of a night, at the end of a day.
Cereal at night.
Kshh, kshh, kshh of a night, at the end of a day. Serial at night. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
Create, it's just candy in a box.
No wonder.
And that aisle too, you know it's scammy
because that aisle's beautiful.
You can get a lot,
I actually don't even go down the cereal aisle
because I'm like, this is too much for me.
Overwhelming.
The packaging is, it'll put me in a trance.
Frosted Flakes is always the first one I see.
I'm like, oh god, get that down.
Look at that tiger on my face before I kiss him.
Skeika.
What is something from my childhood I wanna bring back?
Mentioned it before, tried and true. Can't wait.
Pepsi Twist. Oh. That was the best. Everyone knows I'm a lemon head. All right. I ate
country time. Everyone knows. Everyone knows. If you're wondering how I got to be this way.
There you go.
Pink lemonade one was good too.
But Pepsi Twist was awesome.
And I got to relive that childhood.
There are different countries in Europe that have Pepsi Twist, Poland being one of them. And I actually got
to drink some and you know what? It didn't taste like, oh, this is amazing. No, it tasted
like, yeah, I should have had this option the whole time.
A lot, a lot more.
Like that should have been there the entire time.
Good point. So yeah, I hadn't had this in school,
but between my grades and my trip to Europe,
it was my first time being overseas.
I watched FBoy Island and Lovers and Liars on Roku.
It's free.
You don't need to create an account.
This is still on there.
I don't think he's mentioned it.
So thanks guys.
I've never told anyone I've been on reality TV.
Yeah, you heard it. I'm not going to say anything, but check out Roku. I've been on reality TV. Yep.
You heard it. I'm not gonna say anything, but check out Roku.
Roku, ew.
Of course I'm on a reality TV show on Roku.
Of course, so on brand.
On brand or off brand?
It's bad.
The Hep C twist. Dude, I love how he said, On brand or off brand? It's bad. Pepsi Twist.
Dude, I love how he said,
everyone knows I'm a lemon head.
And lemon heads, put some respect on them!
Lemon heads you don't see too often.
You only see them at like weird gas stations at the counter.
You're like, they're, they hit so good though.
Lemon heads, they're kind of like chewy on the outside.
Lemonheads.
Pepsi Twist is gas.
Pepsi Twist is gas.
They did it before Coke, they did.
Pepsi Twist.
The commercials where they'd unzip the Pepsi can.
What a summer that was.
Yeah, you thought summer 2016? What a summer that was. Mm-hmm.
Yeah, you thought summer 2016?
Summer 2011?
Summer 2021?
You thought those were hot summers?
Try the summer when Pepsi Twist and American Idol first debuted? Uh, ha, ha, ha, oh, whoa, whoa, oh.
Peak.
Pepsi Twist?
God, you know, whoever tried, whoever came up
with Pepsi Twist in the Pepsi meeting.
How do we beat Coke? We gotta do something. They got us here. They got us there
They got Gatorade. We got power
We gotta do something they got the Bears
The polar bears are in Christmas. They got sand. I got everything
What do we do?
Guy in the corner.
Well, first of all, let's take over the NFL Super Bowl halftime show.
What's the other idea?
Lemon.
Wait, what?
Yeah, lemon.
Oh my God.
Oh my God, you mean people order Pepsi at restaurants
and ask for lemon, why don't we just combine it?
Yeah, yeah, that's what I'm saying.
It's like Pepsi, but...
With a twist.
Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my god, write that down, write that down.
Amazing moment dude.
Stars align, Pepsi Twist commercial comes out, the zipper on the can, beautiful execution.
Coke doesn't know what to do bro.
Coke doesn't know.
It puts Coke in a panic.
They're spiraling.
What do we do?
They have Pepsi Twist and Jeff Gordon and Britney Spears?
Halftime?
What do we do?
Well, we have to directly copy them
and make Coke lemon or whatever.
What was Coke's version called?
Who cares? Nobody bought it. Pepsi Twist was first
Dude that
Sent coke in such a frenzy Pepsi Twist sent coke in such a frenzy
Coke was like
Okay, you know what?
We've got to bring out the secret weapon
Yep No, no, no, I thought we were saving this for 2010.
This is the one, this is in our back pocket, we can't use- we have to.
Vanilla Coke.
Vanilla Coke. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
It's in like a chamber. Pssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss Never forget. Vanilla, Coke is so insane that you could only get it at Mo's
for a little bit.
The little Debbie caramel cookie bars, the fire.
Oh, you guys gave me the chills, bro.
Little like I look it up real quick.
God, we're doing little Debbie, like I look it up real quick. God, we're doing, little Debbie.
I can't just, caramel, cookie bars.
What are we talking about?
What are we talking about?
Oh, wait a minute.
Wayman.
Little Debbie caramel cookie bars.
Oh, the ones, okay, I know you're talking about.
Yeah, these piss me off.
These actually, I just have resentment towards these
because my friend brought him to school one time.
My friend had the lunch that was like,
is your dad Bill Gates?
I've brought this up before.
My best friend, he'd bring his lunch in a lunch box,
zipper on it, Capri Sun every day, sandwich every day,
chips in a bag every day, like a Fritos bag,
a Cheetos bag, Doritos bag,
and a little Debbie treat every day.
That was his lunch.
And I'm looking at him like, you gotta be kidding me.
I don't even get this for my birthday
and you're eating this every day next to me.
I thought it was crazy.
Meanwhile, I'm over here with a paper brown sack,
a peanut butter and jelly sandwich,
and my mom forgot to put peanut butter and jelly in it,
a bag of carrots that I was pretending
that were Cheetos in a Capri Sun.
With the warmest.
And I'm just like, damn, maybe Halloween candy.
And it's April.
If I'm lucky.
Yeah, I found this in the back of the closet.
Snickers taste like dust. I'm like, mmm, mmm, mmm.
I'm good boy. I would be so jealous of my
friend's lunch that I would just I think I'd eat my lunch in four seconds
and just watch stare at him while he ate it like a dog by the kitchen table. He'd
just be eating and I'd be like oh oh my God, bro. Just hoping to the good Lord, he'd break off a chunk of the caramel
cookie bar and send it my way.
Just come on, slide it on the take.
Come on, drop something, drop something, drop something, drop a chip, drop a Frito.
I'll eat it right off the ground.
Drop a Frito name brand everything.
Did one day he rubbed it in my face so hard he had he got the caramel cookie bar
And he goes look dude caramel on top
covered in chocolate I
Wonder what happens if I like stick my finger in this and I was like he was like playing with me
He's like taunting me with a caramel cookie bar, the ones you're talking about.
And I was like, don't do it, don't do it.
Got his pinky finger, caramel cookie bar,
six inches long, like half of a ruler, boom, perfect.
Just like that, covered in chocolate, caramel underneath.
And I'm like, don't do it.
Gets his pinky finger, writes his name in it.
A-A, perfect printing.
All caps, A-A-R-O-N.
Licks his finger.
His name in the Caramel cookie bar.
And I'm just like.
Takes a bite.
You know, I had that soft crunch too, cause it was a cookie.
It wasn't like, it was like.
Looks at me and goes, oh, so that's what it does.
That's what it does. That's what it does.
You know what I would do to have that?
I almost asked him if I could clean under his finger now.
Just give me a little bit of caramel.
Four more, shut up, four more.
The old school 3D Doritos from the 90s.
You ain't never told no lie.
You ain't never told no lie.
Nacho Cheese Doritos, those were that shit.
Also, freaking Fruitobias by Mini-Made is my childhood, just put in a bottle.
I just need that in my life, like ASAP.
Mainly the Fruitopia's, but the 3D Doritos was then she took.
So cool, man.
My life and my childhood in a bottle.
In Fruitopia, you couldn't pick a bad one.
First of all, the Fruitopia machine.
The vending machine, Fruitopia?
Oh my God, when you saw one of those.
Ah!
Slam the brakes.
Ah!
Wait, Mom!
Just every, and you hit the button and you get one?
What?
Every single flavor, magic.
Remember the green one?
You take a walk on the wild side, get the green one?
On a whim?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Grrrr.
The best tasting thing you've ever had.
The red one, everybody knew the red one.
Red one was like the OG.
There was a purple, I don't know if there was a blue.
There was definitely a yellow, there was definitely an orange.
But I was like,
what the hell?
Gas. What the hell? Gas
Just had to take a look
Those are so special fruitopia what what happened what the font
Fruitopia font looks so fun. So summer so So summer. The drink of every everybody's summer.
People who did who missed out on stuff like that, man, I just don't know what.
What are their personalities like?
You know, people that didn't grow up with like
frutopia and stuff like that, I mean, I guess this is just what every old person
sounds like, you didn't grow up with the Beatles.
Shut up.
Gives a shit.
But vending machines,
frutopia,
CDs.
You're so old.
You do this every time.
Okay, hey.
This is the podcast.
It's not a food or nostalgic podcast.
Never has been.
Dial up internet. You should have to go through something like
gas. I want to know what happened to surge.
When I was a kid, look, I don't know what everybody's age, but I'm 40 years old.
I remember being addicted on this stuff like it was some type of crack.
Okay.
I remember seeing my friends, we would all rush to the store and freak it all pop out
with like two 20 ounce bottles of surge.
And we drink them like if it was like like
Sentinel nowadays. I swear to God we'd sit there drink this thing and just lay back and just
it was disgusting. But I want to know if you know if it still lives up to the nostalgic idea that
we had. I want to know if you bring back Sarich right now,
whatever type of secret ingredient they had in there,
they discontinued it because they said it has some type
of yellow dye number five or something.
I don't know what it was.
But all I know is probably somebody said,
hey, they found out we put cocaine in this stuff.
We need to like take it off the shelves
before they discover this is the truth.
You know, like back in the day when Coca-Cola
put fricking actual cocaine in it,
somebody somewhere sat there and said,
hey, let's put something fancy in this
and we'll see what happens.
All of us, all of us, kids more than anything,
we all ran to this stuff, like it's some weird diabetic,
diabetic addiction that we
had.
I want to know if having this, having it now, bringing search back now, if it's going to
connect that nostalgic idea and I'm just going to relapse, you know, you give me search now,
I'm just going to relapse and be itching for the next one.
Okay.
So what happened to search?
What happened to it?
Why did it get discontinued?
And what is the truth?
Someone uncovered this mystery, this conspiracy theory because Surge was amazing.
It's like that ecto cooler high seat, that weird green ship.
Surge was the same thing.
It's just something about it.
Just got you causing it.
But anyways, that's my rant.
Good luck on finding out this conspiracy theory for me.
But if not, I love what you guys are doing.
You guys are amazing.
You guys are balancing out my algorithm
with the craziness to the niceness.
And I love it.
So keep doing you guys.
And I love it.
Just, you know, just out here being nice, that's all.
Bro, what a dog, man.
I love new people when they come on here.
It's so sick.
Thank you, bro.
I'm not gonna lie.
It starts a sentence with I'm not gonna lie,
probably gonna lie though.
I never had it.
Never had it and never even saw it.
And that's what makes it even more of a mystery.
Why did they delete all traces of Surge?
It was green.
Do you see how fun it looked?
Surge looks like Nickelodeon made it.
What is Surge?
Is this like Mountain Dew a little bit I think it I think Mountain Dew like had to change its
Identity, I think surge changes identity became Mountain Dew
Sounds like it's what you're talking about But surge almost has like a it looks like it tastes like green jello Mountain Dew doesn't taste like that Mountain Dew like has like a
acidic taste.
Surge is like it looks like green jello green. Mountain Dew looks like highlighter. I never, I've never had it. And I've never seen it. Usually I like see, you know, you see like old soft drinks and stuff like at like specialty
stores.
Oh my God, that's what RC Cola, you know, Mr. Pibb never saw Surge.
They deleted it from the face of the earth.
Why?
Who knows?
Comment if you know, honestly.
Comment the Reddit article.
They need to bring back the Choco Taco.
Yeah, bro, don't even get me started. The silver, the chrome wrapper?
And you know what they need to do? They need, Taco Bell needs to reintroduce it.
What is more perfect than that? Tell me please. Taco
Bell desserts? No, they aren't good. Taco Bell desserts had to like get Cinnabon
involved. Hey, we don't know what to do. Can we the partner?
Cinnabon balls? It doesn't even make sense. Have I gotten them 42,000 times? Yes
Taco Bell just bring back Choco Taco do it your way. I know you can do it Taco Bell has it they have it
They always do it
Have them frozen
Have them frozen. Walking choco taco?
All right, now it's a problem.
Now I want to work for Taco Bell creative.
Walking tacos I talk about and then a chocolate walking taco I talk about in a bag?
Come on.
Yeah, put whatever you want in the bag.
M&Ms, hot fudge, vanilla, toffee, sprinkles, mashed
up waffle cones, whatever ice cream you want, Choco walking taco.
I mean, dude, I'm not saying I come up with a lot of good ideas.
That might be the only one.
Where am I tripping on that?
Tell me where I'm wrong
on that one for real. Last one.
What up? So we live in a society now where they don't even discontinue most items. You
just can find everything on Amazon, which is crazy. So you pretty much can still get some of those old school
things or you can buy them on eBay.
But a few items that were my favorite and were kind
of popular was the Hi-C Ecto Cooler with the slime,
Ghost Buster guy on it, the green one.
That drink was phenomenal.
And even McDonald's would sell it.
They also, McDonald's sold the high C orange, which I don't know if McDonald's still has
that in their soda machine because I don't ever eat at McDonald's.
I'm sure maybe they do or maybe it's probably been discontinued.
But those drinks were freaking killer when you were a kid.
And then another lost item that I remember was Philadelphia cream cheese used to make
these snack bars.
Oh my God.
Little cheesecakes.
And it was like there'd be a strawberry cheesecake or a raspberry cheesecake.
Yeah.
And they were sold like in that cheese section with the sour cream.
And they're in a box.
And they'd be like four or six of them in a box.
And you could eat them for breakfast.
You could eat them for dessert.
You could eat them as a snack.
They were so universal.
And they were so delicious.
I mean, they were a matter of fattening.
But I mean, I wish they still had those because, you know, they
were a hit and I don't know why they got rid of them.
But just like everything else, everything, you know, don't last or it doesn't sell and
they push it off the shelves.
Rising star, rising star of the fam.
Always got a heater.
Always got something that's about ecto cooler,
pulled that out of nowhere.
High C, X green with the guy on it.
That just brushed off something in my brain.
I don't know if I like it or not.
What happened to that?
High C does nothing now.
They have orange at McDonald's?
Cool.
Dude, the green though.
High C. High C. It was big when we were younger. I guess High C was like the
Capri Sun before Capri Sun really started hitting, you know? He had like like the Hi-C Juice Box. Juice Box. Crazy song. Juice Box. Do we know that song? Banger.
But Hi-C was the premier Juice Box. And I don't remember. And they had a lot of cool
flavors too.
It felt like they never ended.
That's what I appreciated about high C juice boxes.
Like they,
even when you're done, you're like,
I need something more in there actually.
Like if I tilted a certain way,
that green was different.
The Philadelphia cream cheese bar should, I'm glad those went away because that is just,
that is just like evil.
Because Philadelphia cream cheese, it has to be just like one of the top three like
things.
It's just so good.
It's almost just frosting for your bagel.
It really is. I got a bagel. You know, it really is.
I got a bagel.
I, you know what?
A bagel's not enough.
I need to turn it into my birthday
and put like breakfast frosting on it.
Cream cheese is just breakfast frosting,
but cream, Philadelphia cream,
and the way it's Philadelphia too.
Just why is that, why do you want it so,
why is it Philadelphia?
It sounds so good, Philadelphia.
Couldn't be anywhere else.
Philadelphia cream cheese snack bar?
Oh God.
I'm glad I never, I'm glad I never had one right when I saw the for commercial for that I was like ain't no way you're getting me on that one
Cream cheese is a rare thing in my life. Like it just doesn't happen a lot and when it does though, I'm just like
It's such a special treat having a
Bar dude bars are...
Remember the cereal bars?
My mom was about those too.
They must have sold those at Dollar General.
The like Cinnamon Toast Crunch Bar, Trix had a bar and like the milk was like not even...
It was like paste.
Those were good.
Golden Grahams Bar, remember that?
And our parents were just like,
yeah, it's just like eating cereal.
You just gave me a whole candy bar, 8 a.m.
I guess that's what bagels and cream cheese are.
Do you eat a bagel and cream cheese every day?
Guess what, you had a doughnut with frosting
It's the same thing but the Lord have mercy
Is it the best thing I've ever had everything bagel with og cream cheese can't beat it
Can't beat it
the cinnamon cinnamon that cinnamon bagel cinnamon
Cinnamon sugar bagel, you know it's like a little it's like a dollar more than the rest of the bagels.
You got all the bagels then you got two outliers the captains that are picking teams.
Cinnamon sugar bagel.
Osceago bagel with cheese. Those are they're always a dollar more. They're picking the teams new saying he's picking the teams
Bro that cinnamon sugar bagel cut in half doesn't even have a hole in it, you know why cuz it's just two
cinnamon rolls
Cream cheese in the middle. You got to be kidding me dude blessed blessed you walk out of Einstein Bagels with that thing blessed
blessed
The ones that have died before you are looking down at you in heaven going
He's gonna he's
He's gonna have a good day
Right there. He's about to have a good 13 seconds in the car eating that.
Pulling that thing apart.
The guy doesn't know what he's got, man.
Cinnamon sugar bagel warm with cream cheese pulling that thing apart and eating it.
Oh, I guess I'll pull it.
You know, the cream cheese is kind of falling out.
You pick it up with the other piece of the bagel
How lucky are we
How lucky so good
Cream cheese bars dangerous. We got to go right to
Dead a dead to days of the week
Thursday Chocolate mousse day not a food podcast chocolate mousse day.
Not a food podcast.
Chocolate mousse day.
Never really understood what it was.
What is mousse?
It's just like a different type.
It's just chocolate.
You can't tell me you think you don't think of a moose when you hear chocolate moose
I'm like, oh, yeah moose like with they with the antlers and everything
Like those are forever associated with chocolate for me a moose
Like if I see a video or a picture of a moose, I'm like man moose tracks like they're just chocolate animals. Oh
Yeah, yeah you signed your life away with chocolate,
didn't you, like a long time ago, before I was born.
So I was growing up, everything, mousse, chocolate,
mousse this, chocolate mousse, mousse tracks.
Mousse is in everything, man.
It's a mascot, it's a chocolate mascot.
mascot it's a chocolate mascot. Friday. School librarian day.
Didn't they have such an easy job? How? Think about that job.
Like when you're the computer teacher at a school, what do you teach in these kids?
I mean, now it's probably a little different
because they know more than you,
but our computer teacher, I was like, okay.
I guess she was teaching us like PowerPoint stuff.
Pretty good.
The kids always know more about the internet
than the teacher though.
And we would start playing music videos
and we'd hack into the main,
how come kids have so much knowledge about technology,
even like my age?
Like when we were in computer class,
we were doing them, we were not, we were bad.
Like you can't give kids technology,
they will figure it out in four seconds, it's so wild.
Like, and they'll figure out a cooler way to do it too,
which doesn't make sense either
If you gave Steve Jobs a phone
He's like Okay
If you gave like a compute tech guy a phone
40 years old and you gave like a ten-year-old a phone the ten-year-old would figure out something way cooler to do on it
like a different emoji to use in some situation
or like, they just go crazy on phones.
It's like scary.
Now we're weird.
The school librarian is such a joke.
Like that is a job where you just,
yeah I picked up a job, you're. I'll work at the school as a librarian
What a chill job I'm always looking for jobs like that though, like if everything goes south here I was like I could do that
You know what I mean? It's like you
Fuck. Yeah, man
This isn't gonna work out, you know something just to have like your house blows up your car blows up you lose a leg
I'm always like what's the back? What's the backup plan? I?
Know exactly what I'm gonna do
I've always have in my back pocket
I'm like if everything goes south. I'm working at this tanning bed, or I'm working at this GNC. I know exactly which one
Everything I'm like I could I could crush this like with my eyes closed I could crush this job
Like you guys don't want me you guys don't want me in here
I will I'll run I'll run shit and half the time in like those places
There's no track. There's like two people that go in there a day. I'm like, this is my dream just sitting here all day. Oh
One person that gets the same tan every time. All right, you know their last name everything room sevens open
GNC same thing dude, they lock the door until someone shows up,
knocks on the door, they open it.
Oh, what do you need?
They're just not, nobody's home until somebody needs it.
That's so funny to me.
Yeah, you can't just walk in here, you kidding me?
You knock, we'll get it, like it's their house.
We're not just open.
Everybody's got, you know, your
last resort job, GNC or a tanning bed. Just my just the
two things that complete me. Saturday. Deep Dish Pizza Day
never wanted it. And you know, it's kind of whack too. Deep Dish pizza has gotten a lot of hate lately on the internet.
I understand why.
No chain pizza place has ever been like the all new deep dish.
Because no one wants it.
I also think it's kind of like overplayed when people like,
what is it called?
Like the Pazon, that's something that people
would want to bring back.
I don't think that's any good.
Calzones.
Every time I'm at like a pizza place in a mall
and there's pizza, I'm like, I just want the pizza.
I don't want like your weird other stuff the weird of the big balls I'm like well
there's just a bunch of snowballs like they just like a balls of dough and
garlicky and Calzone we stuff this and that and I'm like you dude a big pocket
of meat and no I just take the pizza dish, pizza is like it's like real, real close to Calzone, weirdo pizza territory.
Just too much, man.
You got to eat with a knife and fork.
I'm like, oh, just pizza.
Pizza is perfectly fine by itself.
I don't need anything.
Imagine passing up pizza and getting a Pozone.
Pozones are so weird.
They did make them look good though.
Pizza Hut did like twist it up and make it look good Sunday.
Teflon Panda.
I don't know what I got going on, man.
I've got like a disease where I obliterate pans.
Tell me if I'm cooking wrong.
Spray the pan with Pam. Pssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss You know until it's like covered a good amount Turn it on high
Gets hot put the food in cook the food
That's all I do
and Everyone else cooks like that and it's all fine and dandy and then I cook like that
The pan turns jet black charred,
and the smoke detector goes off every single time.
I'm like, what? Isn't this...
You're supposed to cook it on two and gradually warm it up
and then gradually take it to...
I'm like, I don't care about it that much.
I'm just eating it because I'm starving.
I just cook the food on high five six
Cook it boom take it out and everything is ruined and I need new pans every time dude
I want a brand new pan. I'll cook eggs
Got to throw it away. I don't know what I'm doing wrong. What no one ever taught me how to cook, but I mean right
All right fam, I love you guys god what an
episode love the voice messages come to the shows watch the videos DM do whatever
you gotta do man I'd love you guys so much for real
thugging it out in a hotel talking about sprite remix wouldn't have it any other way. This is all I wanna talk about.
I love stuff like this.
Hope you do too.
I know you do, Deep D.
We're gonna keep cranking them out, dude.
We got clips coming out, we got vids coming out.
I love you guys.
I'm going crazy.
And I love it.
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.
I'll talk to you guys next week.
I've ever told you guys on reality show.