Espresso - FBOY Island AMA Ep 8, 9, 10

Episode Date: December 14, 2023

on this ep benny answers anything Fboy Island Ep 8, 9, 10 (like did Katie reach out after the show?)🎟️ 𝗕𝗘𝗡𝗡𝗬'𝗦 𝗨𝗣𝗖𝗢𝗠𝗜𝗡𝗚 𝗦𝗧𝗔𝗡𝗗 ��𝗣 𝗦𝗛𝗢𝗪𝗦 Indianapolis, IN 12/21 https://indianapolis.heliumcomedy.com/shows/243939🌴 WATCH BENNY ON FBOY ISLAND SEASON 3 STREAMING ON THE CW🧢 "𝗙𝗕𝗢𝗬" 𝗙𝗢𝗥 𝟮𝟱% 𝗢𝗙𝗙 𝗔𝗟𝗟 𝗠𝗘𝗥𝗖𝗛 https://benedictmerch.com/👀 𝗪𝗔𝗧𝗖𝗛 𝗢𝗡 𝗬𝗢𝗨𝗧𝗨𝗕𝗘 https://youtu.be/xxQ75QbyHHY

And what's worse than getting mad in front of your girl? Crying in front of your girl. And that's what I would have done. Imagine me getting mad at Mansplain. Fuck you, dude! Fuck you, dude! In front of your girl. Espresso Podcast 293.

I'm your dad who's still mad at you because you said you were an F-boy on a TV show. What's up, fam? up fam hey remember upcoming shows indianapolis december 21st i'm coming home coming home they added a show because we sold out the first one there's still tickets available for the 10 30 show on Thursday. It's going to be late. It's going to be naughty. It's going to be sexy. And dare I say, it's going to be kinkier than the eight o'clock show. It's all the late, late show is always better because it's just loose. The comedians already got a show under their belt. You know, we're just like, fuck it. The crowd's like, fuck it. It's just fun.

Fuck it. The crowd's like, fuck it. It's just fun. Grab your tickets. 1030. Uh, the link to the tickets is in my, uh, Instagram bio and the description of the podcast. Hey, all merch. I'm Benedict merch.com 25% off with code F boy. Where the merch to the show. I want this show to be insane. Where all the merch fucking bring rotisserie chickens, smash a bottle of wet red wine over my head. Just like, let's go insane. That's some 10 30 show shit right there. But,

uh, F boy at checkout, Benedict, merch.com, all of it, 25% off. And if you buy it, I think today is the last day,

Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday. If you buy it within those four days is the last day. Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday. If you buy it within those four days, it'll get to you before Christmas with express shipping. Remember that. And every other podcast that I do, every other espresso podcast is on Patreon. I know I messed up last week, but it'd be like that sometimes. Every other podcast is on Patreon. So please subscribe. Five other podcast is on Patreon. So please subscribe, $5.

Join the Patreon. You get a podcast every other week and a live stream every Sunday. And the live streams on Sunday are legit behind the scenes of FBoy Island. Like we got some new people in the live streams and they're hitting me with the hard hitters, dude. And I'm just out here like, damn, I never even thought of that. Live streams are key and you get to be part

of the kiss club. You get to know all the secrets, subscribe, join $5 and tell your homies to, uh, watch F boy Allen on the CW app streaming, uh, app store uh all i said streaming on the app store he's old he's stupid he's old he's 33 he's stupid and he's old but uh cw app for free app store uh stream f boy island binge it why don't you all three seasons one two and three all there on the app uh so catch up baby all right let's get to it yo still sick he's been sick for 174 days he went to the doctor he got medicine but he's still sick uh let's do it dude ask me anything f boy island episodes eight nine and ten i'm scared i'm nervous i still haven't watched episode eight because I'm, I got yelled at the whole time, but we're going to figure it out. We're going to piece it together,

but I'll tell you everything I know about everything. And I know everything. Let's go. Hey, Benedict. Oh, shit. So my question for you is, did Katie reach out to you afterwards because i know she invents didn't work out specifically did she slide into your dms after that very sexy jc penny photo shoot because my boyfriend and i both would have. Thanks. Oh! First of all, what's your boyfriend's number?

No, but, uh... Nah, she didn't. She hasn't. I can look. Let me just pull up these DMs real quick. Hold on, let's see what's going on here. Katie thirst trap. No, I can specifically remember the, the right after the show, I was at the airport going home and she, she sent me like a nice text. It wasn't like some, it wasn't some down bad shit. It was some professional work. She was like, thanks for everything, Benny. Safe travels home. That's all she said.

You think there'd be like some sexy ass shit? Not at all, bro. It was a good time. And I genuinely enjoyed our time together. It's like she knew I was going to like say this on my podcast. like she knew I was gonna like say this on my podcast um strong odds that we should do a podcast yeah our conversations are like it'll be her reaching out to me or me reaching out to her like when are we gonna like do our our podcast that like crosses both audience type shit it's not like it's not anything hot trust me me. None of my DMS are like good. They're all just like people sending me like straight up. She asked me this on the show. She's like, your DMS have to be insane. Right? And I was like, no bro. My DMS are all the homies like saying stupid shit, sending me like weird food products. It all dudes like girls are like you probably get so many dms i'm

like from guys yeah and they're either like just fucking bros or they're just gay and i love both but uh yeah she just kept it she just kept it professional she didn't slide but i appreciate that and he had that jc penny photo shoot best a hundred dollars i've ever spent in my life 15 minutes fire pictures they're so good people thought they're ai and they sent me all the pictures before i got to my car. This is not an ad. That's just JCPenney going crazy on them. All right, we got a long one coming up here.

Letter buffer, baby. Come on. Come on, girl. Come on, babe. Here we go. Bandit boy, what it do, baby? Dude, I have this talk sometimes with buddies. Would you rather miss out on the playoffs completely or make it to the Super Bowl only to lose?

I would say miss out on the playoffs because the heartbreak of losing in the final game is so much worse. And you did that twice, dog! Dude, no matter how hard and how hurt you were, my gut was wrenching for you. I was pissed. I was throwing shit at my TV. But I'm proud of you, though. You have definitely been the superstar the last two years

on that program. Fuck all those bitches. You deserve a big booty Latina that will gut you if you look at anyone else that enjoys Rotisseries as much as you. That's what you need. That's what you deserve, Benny. I love you, dude. I want to do this note about the show. I didn't like how they didn't interact, Mercedes and Jared Jared at all on this show. You think two assholes coming together would, you know, have good, a good segment,

a good back and forth, but maybe they kept them separate to protect them in a way. TV talk, wrestling talk, make them the two heels of the show and, you know, let them do their own thing. But,

um, I thought last season was much better to be honest. and, you know, let them do their own thing. But I thought last season was much better, to be honest. But you, like I said, you've been the superstar both years. I think you should be a producer whispering sweet nothings, comedic lines to the to the talent because everyone else was stale as fuck. You have been the star. So that's enough. Bro, I'll kiss you right now. That's enough ball sucking of you, my man.

You've definitely, even though you came up short both times, you've been the superstar both seasons. So I'm sure they see that in you. I'm sure Nikki sees that in you and you have great stuff ahead of you, my dog. Bro, I'll cry. Taha, fuck. Man, I don't know who you are, but i love you for real that means a lot that was a long voice message but it was good all the way through and i'm only saying that

because he gave me 25 compliments fuck dog i love you um yeah man i'm the Dan Marino of reality dating shows. I'll never win. And I don't really care. I don't care to, it doesn't matter to me. I feel like there's something to losing every single time. Maybe. How come I'm like juiced after I lose? I'm like, all right, bet. I don't have a girlfriend. I was just on TV. I was just fucking around. It makes me feel like myself. It's not for me to win two times in a row. It's just not me. I've never won anything in my life except for a national championship in college. Best year of my life. But besides that, like everything I've ever done, I've taken an L. I don't really care. I'm numb, babe. Let's just have a good time. Let's fuck around. I've been sipping out of the same straw for like 27 days. I'm the Dan L's. I'll take it.

Why do they keep Jared and Mercedes? Why didn't they let them talk? Dude, if Jared and Mercedes would have combined powers, one of those women on the show would have woken up in the middle of the night and walked into the ocean and never came back. Too powerful. And also the reason Jared and Mercedes never like combined or like they didn't never had him in the same room was because we didn't know Jared was doing that. We didn't know Jared was playing that game. Like on the surface, the only thing all the guys knew and girls knew that he was an F boy. So it was like me, Jared, Mercedes were all F boy. You know, all the F boys, we just thought we were just trying to dig, dig ourselves out of a hole.

That's what I was doing. I was like, shit, I'm an F boy. But like, I think I can still, still do it. I was still like, I think I can still pull it off. It was like all our mindsets, but we didn't know Jared on the other side of the camera was like yo like kind of just dragging daniella like i don't like her at all we didn't know he was doing that so we didn't really know what mercedes was doing we don't really know what like what they're what we're actually saying behind cameras we just we just know how we act like around each other in those group settings so we all thought jared was like a good dude and he is

a good dude but like just on the show he was playing he was playing like the villain so we had we had no clue like when the show came out i was like oh you were really saying all that. Oh! But those two didn't know. They just thought they were just regular old F boys, both of them. You know, they're both cool with each other. But we didn't know it was going down like that behind the camera. That's why.

And that's why all the guys like Jared. Everybody's like, why did everybody like Jared during Mansplaining? Because he was just a cool last dude in the house. We didn't know he was like, he was like, really didn't like Daniela at all. Like he'd tell us like, you know, I'm just trying to, you know, do my best out here. And we'd be like, yeah, me too. Like we did. Everybody was like level playing field. And we, and Jared was like, he was nice around everybody because that's how he is as a person he's nice around everybody he was very like grateful he didn't complain he just like did his shit and like followed that's all you got to do for people to like you on the show you can say whatever you want behind the cameras you can roast everybody you can be a dick to everybody

you can say horrible things about the women behind the camera if you want but all you got to do like around the guys is just be like cool like if you can't be cool around fucking 20 dudes like yeah you are you're kind of a bitch and no none of the guys are gonna like you but jared like knew what he was doing and he was just like he's a he's just a normal ass cool dude around all the guys and we were like yeah he's cool but that's all you got to do to win the room around a bunch of guys is just be be cool don't be a bitch don't be don't do just to be be normal it's a really low bar like don't smell don't be annoying uh don't piss anybody off like it's just whatever it's not hard and that's why we all like jared all right we're loading this next one letter cook okay but seriously why is there not a reunion

episode i need it i want it do you know why because for one so cringe of katie and vince gross but yes i need a reunion episode of the couples just dishing it all after it ended i need it i need it yeah i don't know if they'll ever do that because everybody's so everybody's i don't know how other reality dating shows are because i don't watch them but every i feel like the people on f boy island are like savage like there can't be a reunion no way i feel like the people on f boy island are savage like there can't be a reunion you like you you heard all the guys during the mansplain like no like they're they're not gonna let everybody in the same room i feel like christian would have fought somebody christian would have fought steven if there is a reunion like no and now that now that like now that the show's over we know how each other like really act like on the show. You can be a certain way. And it's like,

maybe he's really like that. You know, you get, you catch a, you catch their energy. You're like, I don't know if you're being genuine or not, but now that like the show's over and I, like we've seen people interact like out in public like at at bars and clubs and like i know how you really are dog like now that we know how each other like really acts like it'd be way too savage because people have dirt on each other now like from the outside world and before the show um like, you know, that doesn't exist because no one knows each other.

It's just like, oh, this guy. All right, cool. But then you figure out how they really are. And you're like, whoa, dog. So I don't know if that could happen. That might be a little too savage. And like, we know how the girls are too.

Everybody knows each other now like oh shit so he like he was being he's been a little fake he was being real all right all right i get it i think it'd be i think it'd be it'd be good tv yeah have a reunion what are we doing what up man so you had that awkward Riz going on the show. Looked like the little girl was salty, though. It's kind of funny. Oh, well, I'm sure you can parlay that Riz into real life now. There you go.

But anyways. That's the plan. Your story had a lot of the Comedians in that storyline How were the jokes off camera It looked like Other than you and Nikki You were around some cornballs No jokes

Dude I live and die by awkward riz that's all i got baby that's all i got is awkward riz i don't have i don't have style i can't dance i don't have rhythm I don't have rhythm. I don't have game. I'm just, I'm just out here trying my best, babe. Uh, yeah, dude, if it's not awkward either, like I don't want it. Who, imagine me being smooth. Did anybody have jokes? The only reason I kind of had some jokes is because I would write every single day. I would just wake up.

We'd start filming at like two o'clock. I'd wake up and at eight, work out. And then I just have like four hours to like just be by myself because everybody would sleep until like 2 p.m it was insane like people would sleep until we filmed i was like what i had to wake up immediately work out get that over with because I was like in my head. I would eat and sometimes eat like way too much. So they, they fed in the morning,

they fed us like containers of like scrambled eggs, which was, dude, I can't complain when it comes to food. Like I'll never be that guy. So we we had like a container like a to-go container of like scrambled eggs there might have been pancakes in there i don't even know hash browns sausage bacon that kind of stuff but i would take like three containers and put all the eggs into one and just eat all the eggs i'd eat like probably like 14 eggs a day and then i would lay out with and i'd bring a notebook and i would just write jokes about the show like maybe that would be funny maybe i'd say that if she asked that like maybe like i had like things to say i was like oh she's gonna ask me this maybe i'll say this like just in in case she says something like that

i'll have something for it but i don't know if anybody else is doing that you know nikki bro nikki's the queen i actually saw nikki last night and she was asking me about the show and everything bro it's so funny nikki killed bro i went to the improv and she like this is probably this is probably some serious behind the scenes but she has a she going to have a special coming out soon. Damn. I'm dropping heat, bro. I'm dropping heat. And she was doing some of her material.

She's been doing it on the road and stuff like that. I mean, that's no secret. Comedians go on the road and they have specials. But I got to see a little sneak peek of some of her stuff, bro. And she's so funny. It's insane, dude. She just went up on stage. And I was just bro and she's so funny it's insane dude she just went up on stage and i was just like she doesn't she's not even trying dude she's not even trying

but yeah the whole goal is to parlay a lot of f boy island stuff into on stage stuff so if you're coming to shows like probably half of it is going to be F boy Island and maybe not half, probably like a quarter of it. Cause then, you know, I got to talk about it. Shit. Um, and it's hilarious and stupid and awkward as fuck. Awkward R one of us, each and every one of us. Oh my God, why are you singing a church song right now? It's just how it goes when you're raised Catholic. You just wake up with 25 church songs in your head. Dude, I'm sorry. The Wi-Fi is so bad in here. I might connect this computer to my phone and see if that wifi is better. Dude, I'm out here in the trenches. Nah, it's like the best

living situation ever, but I'm out here in the trenches, bro. No wifi in a podcast studio. That's on the same property I live in. Come on. studio that's on the same property I live in come on this is a little this is a little crazy now that I think about it though bro here we go sorry i started like looking at instagram and shit and like deleting emails each and every one of us each and every one of us is okay here we go did you all really think that jared was a good guy at the man's plane he was getting so many props and i don't understand

i told you jared is a good guy we didn't know he like he he wasn't like, guys, I've been dragging Daniela behind camera. I don't even like her. Like if he said that to all of us, someone would rat on him and tell like Christian and then Christian would tell Daniela and Daniela would tell Jared and be like, you don't even like me. And then like, you got to keep to yourself on the show. That's like the number one rule for me. It is. I was like, yo, I'm not telling anybody about anything that I'm saying to Katie. Like you guys can do whatever. Like my number one rule for the show is I'm going to be, I'm just going to be homies with the guys and I'm going to, you know, date Katie.

It's the same thing as real life. Like when I, if I ever had a girlfriend in real life, like I don't tell my friends what I'm saying to her. That's weird. I think so. I don't do that on the show either. That was Christian's whole game plan too. Christian was like, yo, I'm not saying shit around the guys.

And then what? And he won like that. Christian was literally silent for the first four weeks. I was like, I don't know if he's mad. I don't know what's going on. I think he's cool. But his game plan was just like, I'm not going to talk around the guys. Because if you talk too much around the guys, like bad shit can happen.

You can get into drama. You say something you don't mean because like you forget somebody's in the room. Like season two and season three, like I really didn't, I really didn't talk too much around my competition. didn't talk too much around my competition. Like if I was in the same room as Mercedes season two, like I wasn't really saying a lot because he can take your words and like report back to Louise, you know, like one time I was just chilling by Mercedes and I was like, all right, we're just, we're just about to talk. I know like we're going off the same girl, but we're just about to talk. And he was like, so, uh, so you do con you do stand up. And he was like, so you do stand-up? And I was like, yeah.

And he's like, so you go like city to city? And I was like, yeah, it's dope. Like tell them about everything. And I was just like, cool. We're boys. And then like later on that day, Louise was like, so you like do comedy and you have like groupies and stuff.

And I was like, okay, this is what he told you. Like, that's just the game. So you don't want to talk too much around uh people so if Jared was telling us like yo I don't like Daniela at all we like he'd be out of the game so you keep to yourself that's why everybody liked Jared to answer your question because he was just a homie he's just one of the homies around the guys and we're like all right bet but yeah and like this past season I didn't say much around Vince because Vince I don't think Vince would like twist my words but to win you never know like he could be like yo I heard Benny talking about like he likes to eat rotisserie chickens and drink wine and I don't really think that's good and you don't like rotisserie chickens and drink wine and i don't really think that's good

and you don't like rotisserie chickens or wine so like why why should you guys be together like it can be anything it can be anything so i just never said shit so i was just curious if you and marco are still together and if you guys have any romantic plans for Christmas and New Year's actually um yeah we're together I mean come on I mean come on no I low-key live 10 steps away from Marco we live like on the same

property and I see him every day normally but sometimes I don't I mean we live in like separate places but like I gotta do laundry I gotta like go I gotta go through his room you know what i mean like it's like shit like that like yeah yeah yeah we're in love what um i think we got a show coming up in la all all uh i'll put it in my description of the podcast. But yeah, we're doing a show soon in LA.

So come out for it. But yeah, we're in love. Oh my God, he's still sick. 200 days later, he's still sick. Oh my God. Waiting for this to load bro this is killing me all right here we go you're definitely the funniest person in the show besides nikki and i love your sense of humor and how much you bring to the show oh my god i noticed in the last one you get really serious and sincere and i wonder if they like

made a note to you like to do that or if that's like genuinely like something that you bring to the show because i know like reality tv is mostly bullshit right but yeah um you make the show better because you're super fucking funny and that is a real leaf because everybody else just is kind of like blah i love you yeah you should definitely get chosen uh if you come back make sure that the girl actually gets with you okay thank you i'm in love i'm in love with you. Thank you. That means a lot. Because yo, I'm out here trying.

I know that everyone sucks. Besides a couple of people, obviously. So I'm trying to make it dope. My whole life is trying to make shit cool. I don't know. So I really appreciate you seeing that and watching and that means a lot. Um, Oh yeah. Okay. So on the, on the show, on some real shit, I am not serious ever until like I need to be, I guess. But like my entire personality is always kidding. You know what I mean? Like I'm never like, I'm not like right when I got there, I was like,

bro, I'm just fucking around the whole time. Everything I say is like, kind of like there's joke undertones and everything I'm saying. And they're like, you know, it came down to crunch time. It came down to like the last, they're like, bro, you got 10 minutes to like seal the deal here. Like, and I was like, okay, bet. So I was serious. Like they didn't make me be serious, but they were like, what are you going to do? You're going to like joke around or are you going to be serious right now to win? And I was like, all right, but I got it. I got it. to win. And I was like, all right, but I got it. I got it. But like, yeah, of course I'm going to, of course I'm going to try to win. I tried to seal the deal, bro. I had to, had to get real, had to get real, real quick. But like when I'm serious, it's not i feel i feel like it's not entertaining or fun or anything like that so i

have a hard time getting over that but the producers on the show were like bro people want to see like a different side of you remember that and i i and i'm like do they though but i guess i guess she did and i guess i didn't show it enough because uh i took an l spoiler alert but yeah i had like 10 minutes to try to win so i like got super serious yeah that last episode i was like being like very like stern ew was that me who was that all right here we go hi ben hola so i wanted to know uh during the mansplain what were your first thoughts when the twin um i forget his name but he said that you called katie easy because you don't seem like

the type of guy that speaks about women like that so were you called katie easy because you don't seem like the type of guy that speaks about women like that so were you pissed at him for putting you on the spot um because you didn't seem mad you just always seem super chill and just level-headed uh which is great and lastly katie has confirmed that she and vince are no longer together so i'm just wondering if you still have feelings for her and if there's any chance uh you would date her um especially now that both of you guys live in LA anyways I love the pod fuck uh let's see um yeah when twin called me out during the mansplain um i wasn't i knew they're gonna be gunning for

me because that's what the mansplain is about mansplain is all right let's rattle this dude let's try to bring up some shit even if it's fake so like going into mansplain i'm kind of like damn dog they could say anything they want and why wouldn't the girls believe them why wouldn't they but at the same time like i'm pretty much boys with all the guys so So I'm like, you wouldn't, you really wouldn't say some shit like that about me. Right. Like to just throw off my game. And in season two, all the guys were like, bro, you're that dude. And I was like, fuck yeah. Thank God. And in season three, they like, they didn't really know me as well. Like I didn't really know half the guys cause they got

eliminated before I got there. So, and they were kind of like, you're coming into our house, like stealing our girls. Like they kind of like, they didn't like me as much and I get it, but I was ready for whatever. Like mansplaining, they're going to say anything. It can be your, your best. It can be your dog out there saying something, saying something crazy about you. So I, he didn't mean it. and that's why i didn't get mad i was like dude twins my twins my homeboy like i'm not i know i know i know it's just part of the game i know it's part of the game um so that's why i didn't get mad and i would never

say that like you said it's pretty obvious I would never like call a girl easy. Right. Um, and imagine me getting mad in that situation. Like I'm trying to win a girl over yellow. What's one thing that like makes a girl unattracted to you when you get mad, dude, I can't get mad because when I get mad, my lip quivers. And what's worse than getting mad in front of your girl? Crying in front of your girl. And that's what I would have done. Imagine me getting mad at Mansplained. Fuck you, dude! Fuck you, dude!

In front of your girl. Nah, I could never. I can't get mad because people were mad at me my entire life growing up and i don't i don't know like i'm just over being mad it's such a waste of time to be mad i could never uh yeah katie has confirmed that her events are together would i ever get with katie dude the only way i'd ever get with katie yeah i'd get with katie but she'd have to invite me to dinner and she'd have to pay. That's the only way, babe. And I'm getting an appetizer and dessert.

But I mean, I'll probably run into Katie for sure. She does comedy. Would I ever like date her? That's another story, girl. I guess it'd be easy to, you know, it'd be easy to date her. She already knows everything about me. I already spilled my guts out to her. We wouldn't have to, we could just skip over all that shit. But yeah, you're buying girly.

There's like two more. We fell in love in a hopeless place. Well, buddy, do you hold these girls hands or do you at least kiss them when you fuck uh both with my eyes wide open with eyes wide open that's a that's this is i know who this is and it's one of my homies and that was like a joke one time we were all together and one of my friends goes ben you look like you kiss when you fuck oh my god dude there's not been a more spot on description of my life than it looks like you with my eyes wide open of course i do i wonder if that should be the title of this episode you look like you kiss when you fuck fuck wild one more and we're back i love you milky boy whoa you've been staking out of the game for

quite a while my friend dropped 40 pounds in 10 days just saying man parasitical diseases they're the new trend milky's back anyway smiles for monocle miles pounds into nightgowns anyway what if i know reality tv, whether it's Love Island, FBoy Island, or Tropical Island, you know, isn't any of that shit real? And I don't know if you're really able to confirm or deny that, you know, being the superstar you are on the show, but, you know what I mean?

Like, I feel like every reality show is scripted and I never know for sure. Like, Kardashians, that shit's faker than anything, but I always wanted to know, you know like are those relationships real is the witty banter real you know so is the ireland even real who knows anyway let me know man hope you have a great day kiss tis bitch i was waiting for that shit bro milky boy i missed you i love you milky boy if you don't know milky boy is an og uh fam

member kiss club exclusive but he's been out of the game for a while milky boy i thought of you bro i woke up in the middle of the night at like 3 a.m and i was like where the fuck is Milky Boy been right here babe if you're fam you know you know but you've been sick bro guess what me too for the last 17 weeks you've been out of the game I bet you look hot right now sick hot oh there's nothing better than sick hot You've been out of the game. I bet you look hot right now. Sick hot. Oh, there's nothing better than sick hot. Yeah, you probably got that. You probably got the six pack rocking right now. Lost like 15 pounds.

You say 40 pounds. We're back. I love you, Milky Boy. Whoa. You've been shaking out of the game for quite a while, my friend. Dropped 40 pounds. 40 pounds, dude. Yeah, you're looking sexy right now.

Hey. Sometimes you got to look at the positive side of being sick. Go get yourself a spray tan and a smack on the ass, Milky. But is it fake? No, it's actually not fake. on the ass milky but is it fake no it's actually not fake like the fakest part about f boy island is i guess they put you in scenarios like the most staged thing that happens on f1 is they'll be like benedict come sit over here and i'll be like all right i don't know why but like okay they'll just like put you in position like they'll be like benedict sit by vince and i'm

like all right like we're gonna have to talk about something but like they don't tell us what to talk about they're just like you know it's just happened a couple times where i like haven't been paying attention and they're like yo go in that room somebody's talking about you and i'm like oh shit because i was just like probably talking to like jared or marco or mercedes or something like that and they'd be like yo go they're talking about you in there go are they're like go find katie you haven't talked to her yet tonight and i'm like oh shit like they'll just like remind you of stuff but all the talking is real I guess the like they'll give you pointers to the producers will be like yeah you need to be more serious like what if she doesn't like you joking around all the time like be well-rounded

like they'll give you like you know good advice but they won't be like, yo, tell her Vince is a bitch. I would never say that, but like, you know, they'll give you pointers. That's the most stage shit that happens. Reality TV is all freestyle. Real shows are all scripted, you know, obviously. Like you watch a sitcom, it's all scripted reality tv is just like all right fuck it let's roll like it's harder it's way harder than scripted tv where you have lines reality tv is just a freestyle rap like it's it kind of is like that it's like when somebody puts a beat on and somebody has like a whole rap in their head and they, they say it, you're like, that was too good. But you can tell when somebody's freestyling, you're like, Oh, he's just going off, off the dome. That's all. That's all FBoy Island is. It's all off the dome. We're just at,

we're really out here just saying what's on our mind. And yeah, the relationships are real. Like maybe like right when I got there, I was like, I don't even know. Like, like that's why I was an F boy. I was like, I don't really know if this is like, I don't really think I'm going to get in a relationship. That's why I'm an F boy. I'm just here to kind of chill, joke around, maybe, maybe get the bag. We'll see what happens.

And then like two weeks in, you're like, damn, do I like her? That's the realest shit ever. Cause you're just, all you're doing is thinking about them all day. And your boy falls in love quick, dude. Three to five business minutes. business minutes. I fall in love like a divorced mom telling you even lock you lock eyes with me. I'm like me, you TJ Maxx. Let's get out of here. Me, you Marshalls see you in the parking lot. parking lot. Fuck. But yeah, no, it's not scripted. Part, part, part of me wishes it was God damn near the end, bro. I'm, I'm like, did I already say this to you? I don't know what I had. Like, God, I'm running out of things. I am running out of things to say. things. I am running out of things to say. And I can't be serious for too long. So I really only had like 10 minutes of serious in me. I love you Milky boy. Whoa. Obviously it wasn't enough either. I needed like, i needed 11 minutes of seriousness to take home that

w wow good questions thank you for the voice messages fam you guys always come through and i love you all right let's keep going dear diary dear diary what's been happening with me bro i've been i've been in the trenches doing stand-up out here in la i'm starting to like it because obviously i'm not going to move to la and love it like if you move to a place and you're like i love this you're a loser oh my god like what are you doing every day that you love it so much i hate it when people do that oh my god i just moved here and i love it i love this city i want to move i've never thought that in my life when people move to a new city and they're like or people visit a new city and they're like, or people visit a new city and they're like, okay, I want to move here. I'm like, dude, shut the fuck up and do what? Just go to cafes every day and shit.

Like what makes you want to move there so bad? I've never wanted to move anywhere, but the only reason I'm starting to like it here is because like, I'm like, I'm working my dick off. like I'm working my dick off. I always wanted to do this, but now I'm actually doing it. I'm like, if I ever moved to LA, like I want to be that motherfucker that's going to open mics at like 3 PM. Like that'd be some, that'd be some hard, that'd be hard. Like I always wanted to be the comedian that could, that would go up anywhere. You know what I mean? I think that's, that's lit. comedians. I can like go up in front of a room of like four people and still be funny. Like, Oh, that shit's hard. And I'm, I'm doing it. I'm not saying like, I'm the best at it, but like, bro, I'm going to an open mic in one hour. It's 1 PM right now. That shit's,

hour. It's 1 PM right now. That shit's I've always wanted to do it. And I'm doing podcasts. Like I have a good setup. Like I got my car out here now. That's why I like it. Because I'm like, I can't enjoy anything. I literally can't enjoy anything unless I'm not, if I'm not like working, if I'm not like working hard, like I've got no, every day I've got no regrets. Cause I'm like, I did all that shit. That's why I like it.

And I'm no, and I'm like, I don't know my, maybe my brain's weird, but I don't really need to have fun. I sound like a psycho. I am. Dude, the only way to be is psycho. I can't, I can honestly tell you I haven't had much fun in LA, but I don't need to have fun. I'm not here to have fun. It's work, girly. And yeah, I'll do shit every now and then.'s fun that's all i need

though is a little a little here and there i don't need to have fun every fucking day i'm not a girl i've been to disneyland you know that was fun that's all i i that's all i need for like three months is just a you know know, Disneyland's cool. But like do dudes work, man. But that's why I like it out here because I'm, uh,

I got, I'm working hard and I'm figuring shit out and I just got to keep doing it, bro. Cause if I, if I get off my game for a second, I'm like, God, I'm a piece of shit. What am I even doing out here?

What am I even talking about right now? But yeah. But part of the process of moving out here like there's going to be some there's going to be some L's you know I mean like I just I had to I had to like just come to an understanding that there's going to be like the podcast last week was fucked up and I accidentally put it out on YouTube instead of because like shit's just going to happen like that because I'm like moving and there's like 15 things going on at once. I'm just getting gang banged out here and like sometimes shit fucks up. Like yesterday I

was doing a podcast with Joey. These guys, dude, we did an hour and a half podcast. I didn't press record. There's going to be some else. There's going to be some else. He's 33 and he's dumb. There's going to be some else. So bear with me, shorties. Yeah, but I'm trying, yo. I'm trying.

Show and tell dude hey hey this shirt what do we think what do we think do we like it maybe I just should have wore it the whole time my whole entire that's the thing on fboy island my whole wardrobe is just's the thing on F by Island. My whole wardrobe is just, they're like, yeah,

bring shit. Then you get there and you like every single night on some behind the scenes. Hold on. Now we're talking every single night on some, on some behind the scenes. It's just like bring colors they say and then you get ready for the night and you have to get get your whole look checked out like there will be a producer that like takes a picture of you and sends it to the

main person for wardrobe and they like only one guy can wear white only one guy can wear black and then you got to wear different colors so the two guys are fighting for white and black every every night there's a guy that wants to wear white a guy that wants to wear black because everybody has white and black clothes because everybody looks good in white and black but then you got to have everybody else in a different color. Like if somebody's wearing a green shirt, you can't have a green shirt on. So like I'd have a fit picked out and I'd be like, this is, this is in, lock this in. Cause it'd be like yellow pants and like a pink shirt. Like that's a lock.

That's two different colors. No crazy designs. Like that's fire for, for reality TV. And I'd be like, boom, take my pick. Let's go. I'm ready. And they'd send it to the person and i'd be like boom take my pic let's go i'm ready and they'd send it to the person they'd be like uh jared's wearing a green shirt or jared's wearing a pink shirt and i'd be like fuck so then you got to figure out your whole like dude it takes like two hours to get everybody ready it's insane it was probably the most insane part about it was probably the most insane part about reality tv is wearing shit because you can't have any logos you can't have one logo on your clothes and i'd be trying to sneak shit i'd be

trying to get away with stuff like i wore a baseball jersey that said like it said something on it it said like all stars on it but like the two l's and all star were like the there's like the same font as like the washington bullets old logo that you know what i mean and they're like nah bro that's like that's i know what that is i'd be like fuck but yeah that whole thing is crazy but uh this shirt my whole wardrobe was just Urban Outfitters and Zara. And you can't have print too small because it like looks weird on camera.

And I'm like, does it really though? But everything, like before F.Y. Island, I went to the mall every day for three weeks. Okay, maybe every other day. And just like, I got shit. I ordered stuff off the internet, got it shipped in. It didn't fit. Like you got a sizing, you got to get everything tailored. Like I was trying to look good. I was like, fuck it, man. Get these pants. I guess I'm getting these pants tailored. The swim, these swim trunks are a little too long. Like hem them up.

tailored the swim these swim trunks are a little too long like to hem them up half the battle is clothing and shoes shoes you got like i i bought these for the show i don't i hate dunks but i was like i need white shoes and there are no white shoes these aren't even my size dude. I wear a size seven youth. These are size six. And like, cause you don't want to, you don't want to opt out and like wear some stuff that they provide for you because they want you to wear like the craziest shit on that show. They're like, Hey, would you wear this shirt? Like the wardrobe lady be like, would you wear this shirt shirt and it's like the gaudiest like oh like if i wore that around my homies i would get fried straight up so you want to bring some heat and it's just it's just a it's just a gamble of the week uh let's see so i finally talked to my dad about like because my dad my dad watches f boy island like it's he it's crazy bro he like really is into it

just because like i don't know i don't know if he likes it. He probably does like it on some crazy shit, but he's like, no, I'd never watch that if you weren't in it. But I'm like, all right, dude, you little drama queen. He's so mad that I'm an F boy. He's so, my dad is so mad that I'm an F boy. He's like, why'd you do it? That's why you lost. Everybody likes you used to be a sweetheart. That's why everybody liked you. Then he said, you're an F boy. I don't think they like you anymore, dude. My dad just doesn't, he has no vision. I'm like, yo, it's better because I was already in that. Like, you know, who cares, man? I told him, I was like, yo, I'll lose on TV every year. It's all about the long game.

You know, you got to see the vision. It's all about the long game. And he was like, well, Mercedes is playing the same long game and he's $100,000 richer than you. I was like, God damn it. Okay, you're right. But I really will go on a reality TV show every year and lose. I don't care. I just want to, I just want to have a, I literally want to go on there and get a tan, have my shirt off, eat chicken, get bossed around, joke around, just chill. Best three weeks of my life or whatever, four, whatever it was.

Let's see days of the week. Days of the week. And then I have to go to an open mic at 2 p.m it's kind of my dream i love the the fucking grimy grind i don't know why i don't know why thursday national alabama day alabama kind of scares me because there's nothing there except for a college. Like every time we would drive from Indiana to Florida for spring break, which was the best drive of my life. Drive home. Oh, drive there. Fire. But we'd always stop in Alabama like for gas or like to pee and it'd just be like what like on some tumbleweed shit I'd be like is anyone really living here Alabama's weird

if it wasn't for Alabama like the college I'd be like or the university or whatever I'd be like where what even why does it exist I'll probably have to do a show there and like eat all my words but kind of scared of Alabama a little bit monkey day remember when you were a kid and you wanted a monkey so bad I don't want a monkey anymore

dude I'm scared of them because I think they're smarter than me I think they're smarter than me. I think they're smarter than me. Straight up. Monkeys are probably smarter than me. On some simple shit, they probably can solve a puzzle quicker than I can and I don't like that.

You're not supposed to be smarter than me. You're not, you're a monkey. You just sit there and you'd be funny and like eat bananas and shit. You don't, you don't figure out a word search before me. Cats too, man. I love cats. Cause they're like vicious. Cats are just, every cat is a girl. I don't know how many times I have to say it, but every cat is a girl. Cause like you give them attention, they don't like it. You don't give them attention. They kind of like it. They're always like, they're always hungry. They're always kind of complaining. You know, you just can't get

it right with cats. It's the same thing as a girl. It's like, you know what I'm talking about. And then like when they're, when they're like, you know, they're like, they're like on you and they're like sleeping by you like it, you know, it's the same shit. It's crazy to me. Um, but cats are smart too. And you're like, what? How do you know that?

And cats will do some shit to piss you off on purpose. Like it's just, it's insane. But yeah, I want one. I think everybody kind of wants a cat, you know? I do, but I don't. It's like, it's just a weird thing but i like i was saying this on the live stream i want like a fierce cat i want like a bob cat a little baby bobcat running around oh i would never leave i would never leave if I had a baby Bobcat, Oh my God. A Sphinx, bro. If I had a Sphinx,

I would literally pray to it. I'd be like, you're my master. Sorry. Wherever you want. I do starting now, Mr. Sphinx. I wouldn't even name it out of respect. I'd be like, you're Sphinx. Sphinx sounds like an Egyptian Pharaoh already. Like, bro. I'm going to get an actual animal one day. Not a monkey because they're too played, but I'm going to get like a, I'm going to get something insane. Like, wow, you have like, I'm going to be that, that guy that's like, yeah, this is my house. Uh, it's dope. It's going to be like super customized.

Oh, and there's my backyard and I have a bear cub. What? Yeah. I just have one. So what do you do when it turns into a bear? I just have a bear, but it's going to like grow up with me. So it's not going to like eat me and shit. It's going to be like, Oh, that's my fucking, that's my dog. You know, the bear's going to know that I raised it and fed it every day. So he's not going to hurt me. He's going to be like, Oh, that's my fucking dude.

He like, he gives me like steaks and shit. He gives me like raw steaks and stuff when I'm hungry for lunch. So why would I hurt him? And I'm gonna like dap him up and like, he's going to get on dude. When bears stand up, I'm like, Jesus fucking Christ, dude. They're so crazy the way like, cause I'm, I'm like, they can't really stand up. Can they? And bears stand up so easy. I'm like, Oh shit. You're just like,

that's like your normal posture. I'm just going to be chilling with my bear. Be watching like a, watching a bears game on TV with my bear. I'm going to be like this. We're just going to be watching the game. What's up? Eating popcorn and shit.

Salmon. Salmon and berries. What's up? Sounds perfect for dinner. A Bears diet? Salmon and berries? They got it made, bro. In their vicious, like, do they they love fish dude i'm obsessed with bears all right all right i'm done i'm done i'm getting a bear

a bear and a bobcat friday tea day i can't get into tea you should drink tea not coffee it's better for you no coffee is better my god if there was if tea was better there'd be a tea place like starbucks there's not no one is going out no one's mobile ordering tea tea's boring tea is half it's just like just like, what the fuck? What is this for? At least coffee, at least they scam you into thinking it has energy. Tea's just like, yeah. How about all that bullshit they, they, they do with tea? Like, um, mental health. They like name tea different shit. Yeah, right, bro. Overthinking tea. You drink this tea, you stop overthinking. I'm like, shut up. It's water in like two drops of dye. What a scam.

Jesus. I was buying it too for a long time. Who's buying this? Me. First time I moved out to LA, I was like, you know, I hate my life. So I was just drinking tea. That was like, um, have a good day tea. It's like the dumbest shit. And I believed it. And I bought it. I was like, well, maybe I will have a good day if I drink this. Dumbass. Tea's the biggest scam ever. Next time you're at Target, read all those tea-like flavors. They're so stupid. I wish I could think of them. I can't even browse the web right now because this computer's so goddamn slow.

Tea flavors. It's's gonna be like matcha and shit come on baby oh here it is okay never mind I'm never gonna be able to find that but you know what i'm talking about you ever that's so stupid when you read all that shit ugly christmas sweater day um i've got a couple of them last year i went to the steelers colts game It was amazing because I never want to go to any football games and I went with Joey.

So I was like, Oh shit. You know, when you go, I was like, I might have to kind of pay attention. Cause I'm like with a friend that like is really bought in. Like he's the biggest Steelers fan ever.

So like out of respect, I might have to pay attention to the game a little bit, but normally I'd just be like walking around. I wouldn't even be there normally, but I was like, fuck, I better like, yeah, nice catch. You know, like shit like that. Like I'm a foot, like I played football. I get it. But like, I, you know, I just don't care anymore. But, uh, we were like front row and I'm next to Joey. The Steelers are losing. He's mad. I'm like, how could you even get to this point in your life where you care about something this much

to be mad at it? Crazy to me. But the Colts mascot, I've said this before, dude, Joey cares about the Steelers more than I care about anything in my life and i'm just like what but the mascot like walked by us like literally walked two inches in front of my face and pointed at me and it was like and i was like oh shit the mascot knows me this is the best moment of my life ever and he goes yeah and i. And I go, yeah, dude, like that me, like, let's do some mascot shit. And he, he gave me an ugly ass Christmas sweater with a dinosaur on it. And I still have it. It was in my Dunkin' Donuts video. So I do have an ugly sweater and that's how I got it. Cupcake day. Okay.

I've been so down bad on dessert. So I stopped drinking because I'm like, I don't, I have no, I don't need to, I have no like urge to ever drink maybe because I'm, I don't know what's going on, but I'm like, why would I? And, uh, uh so i've been like since i'm not doing that you know something else goes crazy and i can't stop eating fucking dessert dude friday saturday and sunday last week i ordered insomnia cookies at 10 30 p.m six of them in a box with a container of icing. I'm a bitch. Something's got to happen. If you give up one bad thing, you do something else bad every single time. People that give up smoking, I'm like, so what are you doing then?

people that give up smoking i'm like so what are you doing then bro i've just been eating dessert it's so hard for me not to pass by the bakery at like a at like one of these grocery stores out here and just just buy six cupcakes and eat them on the way home it's insane bro it's insane i look completely i don't look at anything like i did on fy island nothing like it just because i because i've like like i eat normal food sometimes now that's all it takes it's so crazy how you can go from being in shape to not being in shape in literally like two hours two hours just on my shit bro i was on my diet like i was training to be wolverine in the new x-men and then for i i ate a pizza and i looked exactly like i have my whole entire life right after i ate the pizza i was like what that's all it takes. Insane.

Underdog day. Am I the underdog? I kind of like being the underdog. I don't mind it. I want to be main character. Duh. Who doesn't? But I think I'm reality TV underdog.

Kind of. Sometimes. Maybe I'm not underdog. Maybe I'm not underdog. Maybe I'm like... I just feel like... Am I wrong or do you forget people that win? Like, I always remember the guy that... Oh, like he should have... That's what it is.

That's what I want. that's why i don't mind losing saturday wreaths across america nothing more boring than a wreath for christmas that's all my family did that's the old that's the that's that everybody's you know you take a walk around your neighborhood oh there's nothing like that christmas ass walk let's bundle up my dad would say that let's bundle up what the that's a weird parent parent word for you you. Parent phrases. My dad, let's bundle up and take a walk. My dad fucking loved walks, man. Maybe it's cause it got him out of the house. That's probably some like depression. Yeah. Every, everyone you see taking a walk, like, Oh, they're getting some exercise now. They're just like severely depressed.

Next time you take a walk or, you somebody that likes taking walks, hey, they're two minutes away from ripping all their hair out. Just saying. But that Christmas walk hits different. It does. Walks in the summer. Walks in the summer can get scary a little bit. Cause you're like, I don't know. Somebody might be out. Somebody might be lurking around. Summer walks. When I got my first hair transplant and I looked like complete shit,

I would take walks in the summer. Cause I, I couldn't be seen during the day. Cause I looked like Joey Votto with blood dripping down his face. So I'd walk around my neighborhood at like 2 a.m. and listen to Call Her Daddy podcast. What was I on? But low key, it was a good, it felt good. I was like, this is fun. Just going off the grid. Oh, nothing like going off the grid, baby. But those Christmas walks when you got your gloves on, your double socked up, it might be, you might not even

be going in the snow, but you got ski bibs on ski bibs. What else? What do we have a new name for those? I'm still calling them ski bibs. You got your big ass jacket on your big coat. You know, you got your coat, then you got your big, you're like, it's actually cold coat. Everybody has when you're kind of ashamed of it. Cause you don't have to bust it out too much. You either have a really nice, like a really like, Ooh, I have a dope ass big coat or like it's your childhood big coat that you're like i don't know i don't really wear it too much or it's like your dad's you put on all that shit put on your hat none of it matches because you're like who has a matching

like i'm really cold set unless you're some rich bitch who goes skiing all the time, but none of it matches. You got a red hat on a white and blue coat on black, thick pants on sweats under them, two socks on. You have like moccasins on too. Cause they're like fuzzy on the inside. Gloves are like orange traffic, traffic conductor gloves. You're like i have no fucking idea i just want to be warm walking around looking like a fool but god it every step looking at all the lights on the houses oh that one's the best no that one back there was the best you're like cold but you get used to it and you're like oh now i'm like kind of warm though i'm like i got used to the chill now we're good oh that one's the best right there dude you walk by our house

it sucked there's just a wreath on the door i don't even know if the light if it was plugged in we kept it so plain and simple. No, do the, how about your neighbors with the icicle dangly lights? You're like, what? You guys are insane. Icicle danglies. My parents would never Sunday maple syrup day. Ooh, I'll never forget one time i stole a half or like a fifth of i don't know what it was you know how you just steal shit from parties i went to a party and i stole like it's probably like bourbon or something just like ew how about those days just stealing shit but it was like maple bourbon and something. Just like, ew. How about those days? Just stealing shit.

But it was like maple bourbon and I cracked the top and we're like, let's drink it, I guess, like the next day or something. How about drinking two days in a row? Never again. Going out two days in a row. We've all been there, but we'll never do it again. in a row. We've all been there, but we'll never do it again. How's it possible? But I cracked this bottle of bourbon and I just thought it was regular and we were like, all right, let's see. And it was maple. Bro, I smelled like maple for, I think I still do. I can't drink anything anything maple syrup even kind of messes me up i don't think i've really had syrup since then oh you liar my producer ashley you're lying

shut up ashley yeah i'm like i'm like hesitant to have syrup because I'm like, God, I'm just going to smell like that. I don't want to smell like that. But blueberry syrup in that Smucker's glass jar. Different. Different. That's the best. That's some of the best shit I've ever had.

And it only comes around every so often, dude. ever had and it only comes around every so often dude like you don't have that smuckers blueberry syrup like on deck all the time it's only just in your pantry like every six years you're like huh i do have that blue and it lasts for like two days i could can drink that. Oh, I could drink that. Damn. That might, that might, that might be my next promo video. Drinking blueberry smuckers out of that glass. It's the fact that it's glass. You're like, Ooh, this is like legit. All right. I got to go to this open mic. I love you, fam. Thanks for watching FY Island season three. We'll get back to the crazy shit next podcast. I don't know what it's going to be.

I don't know what the question is going to be. But you know there's always going to be one of them. Thanks for all the voice messages. I love you guys. Thanks for watching the show. Remember to join the Patreon for the extra podcast and the live stream every Sunday. Get your merch at benedictmerch.com. Binge at Boy Island on the CW and come to the show December 21st in Indianapolis. Throw a cupcake at my ass.

But I'll see you guys next week. Bye. Fuck.