Espresso - helping people move

Episode Date: July 21, 2021

→ 𝗦𝘂𝗯𝘀𝗰𝗿𝗶𝗯𝗲: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCXRwNZpU67AK24r5QGfIfCw → 𝗗𝗼𝗻'𝘁 𝗙𝗼𝗿𝗴𝗲𝘁 𝗧𝗼 𝗥𝗮𝘁𝗲 & 𝗥𝗲𝘃����𝗲𝘄! On this shot Ben anonymously goes through the annoying things your loved ones do, but you don't have the heart to tell them ( ˡⁱᵏᵉ ʰᵃᵛⁱⁿᵍ ᵗʰᵉ ˡᵒᵘᵈᵉˢᵗ ᵗʰʳᵒᵃᵗ ⁱⁿ ᵃᵐᵉʳⁱᶜᵃ) he realizes he's the least Italian guy that's Italian and explains his evil brain vs. his good brain. Bennie tells us why mangos are the mysterious girl at your high school, reveals which famous grandpa he wants to look like when he's older and talks about *his first time* buying a cowboy hat then he goes #ViViViViral and does #DaysOfTheWeek but you already knew that 😎 𝗨𝗽𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗦𝗵𝗼𝘄𝘀: Raintree Inn | New Castle, IN July 24 8pm Mountain Roots Theatre | Belle, WV 7pm Sterling Event Center| Greenwood, IN July 30 8pm 𝗦𝗲𝗻𝗱 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗵𝗼𝗺𝗶𝗲 𝗮 𝗖𝗮𝗺𝗲𝗼 𝗳𝗿𝗼𝗺 𝗕𝗲𝗻!: https://v.cameo.com/E48BXekQ29 𝗧𝗶𝗸𝗧𝗼𝗸: https://www.tiktok.com/@benedictpolizzi?source=h5_m 𝗬𝗼𝘂𝗧𝘂𝗯𝗲: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCXRwNZpU67AK24r5QGfIfCw 𝗜𝗻𝘀𝘁𝗮𝗴𝗿𝗮𝗺: https://www.instagram.com/benedictpolizzi/ 𝗧𝘄𝗶𝘁𝘁𝗲𝗿: https://twitter.com/benedictpolizzi

Shot 168 Yeah This is me every time I get in my car and drive at night Why is driving at night like such a different thing? Like why am I so like dramatic at night in my car i'm like yeah it's just me in my life yeah and how come no matter what what i think there's somebody in my back seat there's always somebody in the trunk of my car every single time i get in my car i don't even care but they're never in there like from like

8 a.m to 6 p.m like you know how you know there's like scary scenes in movies where somebody like pops out in your trunk and you see him in your rearview mirror and you're like if they did that in my car at like 3 p, I'd be like, what are you doing, bro? Hey, you want to go get coffee? They're trying to kill me. I'm like, Hey dude, Starbucks doesn't have food right now. So we can only get caught. I know. Why doesn't Starbucks have food right there now? Is that only in Indiana? Holy shit is that only downtown dude every starbucks in downtown indianapolis has zero food all they have is like avocado spread that's it they don't even have bananas they don't even have like the shitty uh uh cannolis what are those called? Damn, I should so know.

The things you dip in coffee? Italian things you dip in coffee. Biscotti. I know, I know, I'm like the least Italian guy ever. I'm the least Italian guy that's Italian. Everybody's like, you don't know Italian? I'm like, I don't know one word in Italian. You don't even know your own language.

I'm like, no. I don't know one word. When people try to teach me a language, I'm like, bro, no, don't even try. That's my worst. Like, I'm not good at accents. Like when, when somebody is like, speak Italian, you know, just say something like that sounds Italian. I'm like, I have no clue, bro. Penne.

Spaghetti. I'm the least Italian, Italian guy of all time. Italian people always like, don't say the end of each word. They leave off the last three letters of every word. They're like, hey, come on, bull. Come with me, man. Let's get in the car. You going to get a nice little appetizer?

Every fucking word. They don't even say their last names, right? What's your name? Benedict Pali. Low-key, I kind of think the Italian language kind of sounds ugly. He said it. It sounds weird, and I think that's only because sometimes my dad would like, oh, fuck. Like, one of my grandparents would speak Italian, and I'd be like, yeah, but I don't know what the fuck that means.

But sometimes my dad would say it. Like, we'd be just at his house, and he'd be like, I'd say something. He'd be like, Benny, just gotta... And I'd be like, what the fuck did you just say? And he'd be like, you never heard that? I fucking hate that. That's what people who fucking know anything else in another language, they say it to you and you're like, what? And they're like, you never heard that? It's like, when the fuck would I ever have heard that? My dad was like, mutabataboodle. I hate when my dad fucking speaks Italian it's so ugly

it just sounds like he got punched in the face 47 times mutabata bull bull I'm like ew bro I'm like what's it mean he's like you gotta try your best I'm like holy fucking shit I think the He's like, you gotta try your best. I'm like, holy fucking shit. I think the Italian language was gross because my dad made it. He just fucked me up about it. Every time he speaks Italian, I'm like, ahhh! My dad, dude, I've said this before, but he doesn't even say Italy. He's like, Italy? That's not it! That's just how the Italians say it. My dad will say that after and i'm like that that

okay well they're wrong too italy dude he like drags it out so long because he like thinks he's so cool speaking italian i'm like throwing up i'm like ah he's like make he's like it means try your best i'm like throwing up. I'm like, ah, he's like, make it. He's like, it means try your best. I'm like, well, that's going to make me not try at all. Sounds like you just told me to try my best with like a mouthful of, of a everything bagel. He's like, Oh shit. What's up? Espresso Podcast, Shot 168. I'm your host, Ben Polizzi.

Remember to follow. Remember to subscribe, review, rate it, and do all that on Apple Pods and Spotify. I don't even know if you can on Spotify. But yeah, rate, review, subscribe, get the homies listening. It seems like more and more people are listening, man, and that is such a dope-ass feeling. Yes! I love it, man, for real.

So thank you for listening. And remember to follow on TikTok, Instagram, Twitter, Cameo, all that Benedict Polizzi. Went and saw a movie. I saw Black Widow. Dude. My sister put me on Marvel movies. Anyway, so we went to a movie. Saw Black Widow. Dude. My sister put me on Marvel movies. Anyway, so we went to this movie.

It was in the theater where you can drink and eat. And that shit is fire. Okay, the movie was like... It was at the climax at the end. And they fucking theater turned on all the lights like we were leaving. You know how awkward that is? You know when they turn on the lights at a bar? you're like it's like 3 a.m and you're like oh what that's how it was in the movie theater everybody's all ugly and shit like everybody was so comfortable in there it was so gross bro

because that movie theater like has those seats that you can like turn into a bed and everybody's like kind of like you know there's just like plates of food and shit oh and they've turned all the lights on super bright dude like they turn the lights on to like the point that like they would turn them on when people would like clean the theater so they could see everything it was so bright and people were like so like like, like movies. Like, you know, you know, when you watch a movie in like your living room, you get like so comfortable, you get like ready for it.

You get like, you like change into movie clothes and you like cuddle up like your favorite spot on the couch, like with your blanket and shit and your pillows. And you're like, okay, are we ready? Let's do it. Like you have your drinks and shit. That's how everybody was just full blast lights on imagine doing that shit in your living room but there's 50 other people like like around you doing that too it was so awkward so they ruined like the last fucking eight minutes of the movie i've been doing this thing where like i love complaining about shit the first thing when all the lights turned on in our in the movie I've been doing this thing where like I love complaining about shit the first thing when all the lights turned on in our in the movie theater at the end of the movie the first thing

I thought wasn't like oh man oh poor guys up there probably somebody's first day the first thing I thought of was like maybe we can get free tickets to another one I was like stop stop stop brain stop. Maybe we can get money for this one. Stop. Don't think like that. That's always a battle in my head. But, like, I didn't. I just, whatever.

All right, let's get into this question. The Espresso. Quick, quick, quick, quick, quick, quick question of the week. Week, week. This week,, quick, quick question of the week. Week, week. This week, the espresso question was, what's something annoying that your friend, girlfriend, boyfriend, or family member does that's super annoying, but you like them so much that you just don't have the heart to tell them?

You know what I mean? You're just like, fuck, that's just his thing. That's just his thing. That's just what he does. He just fucking puts his pinky in his ear, scrapes his earwax out and eats it and doesn't think we can see it. That's just his thing. Fuck, I don't want to tell him that.

Like, you know you like somebody so much you just don't want to tell them because you don't want to get in that type of vibe with them. You know, you're somebody so much, you just don't want to tell them because you don't want to like get in that type of like vibe with them. You know, you're like having a good day and shit. Like this happened to me and my dad countless times. It's always me and my dad like in a car. I've probably spent 15 years with my dad total time in the car. And like everything will be going good.

We'll have, it's like a fun conversation. Good shit going on. We have coffee. But then like all of a sudden I'll be like, I got to tell him. My brain's like a fun conversation good shit going on we have coffee but then like all of a sudden i'll be like i gotta tell him my brain's like don't say it don't say it don't say it don't say it then my brain again is like say it tell him you have to ruin the moment you have to ruin this tell him and then the other side my brain's like don't do it man don't do it keep the energy good and then the inside of me is like but if you don't tell him then you're a piece of shit then you're a piece of shit my brain's

like don't do it don't do it and then instantly i'm like hey dad you got hair on the bridge of your nose you ever like seen that in the mirror and he'll be like what and i'll be like fuck he'll be like ben just look out the window then. And I'll be like, fuck. And then in my brain, it's like, told ya. And the other guy's like, Alright, let's go through some of these. Here we go. What's something super annoying your loved one does,

but you just don't have the heart to tell them? My two best friends are brothers, and they always imitate their dog in the weirdest voice. I cringe every single time, but I can't say anything because they obviously think it's funny. So why would my opinion matter? Dude, that is something people do not hold back on, talking to their pets like that. They'll do that in front of fucking LeBron james they don't give a fuck dude people that have pets and talk to them they don't care who's around

they like love doing that shit i always think they're kidding i'm like that'd be crazy if he actually oh shit he's still going true though bro they don't give a shit what you say if you say that to somebody with a dog they'll turn around and fucking slit your throat hey man you talk to your dog like a pussy here we go what's something your loved one did that's super annoying, but you just don't have the heart to tell them? Relatives. Are you busy?

To be followed by asking you to help them move furniture or some shit. Dude, helping somebody move. That needs to be like a regulated business transaction. When somebody's like, yo, will you help me move? That needs to be like a regulated business transaction. When somebody's like, yo, will you help me move? I'm like, keep it coming. Like, I'm not saying yes till you lay out the whole fucking day.

Cause damn, bro. Like, when's the last time you helped somebody move? Cause it always starts at like fucking 10 a.m at the latest for sure and then it always goes until like four and there's always some shit that you like forget to do they're like oh fuck the truck the i mean he said he was gonna pick it up and bring it over now we got to get a new guy and then they're like oh my god we got the truck without the dolly and you're like holy fucking shit i like this is not my thing. Like, for some reason, I always think the guy who asked me to help move, like, knows how to do it all. I'm like, all right, he's got it.

I just got to, like, be there and, like, help him with some shit. I can do this. But then when I get there, he's like, all right, so what do you think? We fucking turn it this way, flip it upside down, fucking light it on fire, and then shit all over it. And then we can slide it out. I'm like, um, right when somebody brings up, brings up hey dude do you think we should take the doors off every time every moving and say yo do you think we should take the door it's always hey you think we should unscrew the fucking legs on the couch i'm like oh fuck this is gonna be a long

day right when somebody says legs on the couch or hinges on the door. I'm like, ah, fuck. Helping somebody move. And they're always like, yeah, man, I'll throw you some money. And it's always pizza. They're like, what kind of pizza you want? Acting like you've never had pizza before. it's the sacred fucking repayment for moving. Pizza? They're like, they wink and it's like, ding.

You're like, dude, I've had pizza last night. Fuck off. But yeah, I'll take Little Caesars. Dude, I love Little Caesars, but I always like don't get it because there's always somebody around me that's like, Ew, what the fuck? Just a simple ass cheese pizza from Little Caesars. Alright, here we go.

Something that your loved one does that annoys the shit out of you, but you don't have the heart to tell them. One of my best friends doesn't wear deodorant and he smells really bad. I've come very close to telling him, but we haven't had the balls to do it yet. You got to tell him, man. You got to tell him, be the friend. He'll like you more if you tell him. That's one of

those things. Dude, my honest friends, oh fuck, they're so honest. One of my friends was like, yo bro, I watched one of your videos on Instagram the other day. It was the, the bop it one or the, the skip it one. They're like, you've aged a lot since then. I was like, oh fuck, that's such fucking bad news, but I love you. Thank you. People that aren't afraid to be honest. I'm like, come here, come here. Oh, it feels so good to hear some bullshit about yourself. Because you're like, how else would I have known? But yeah, you got to tell them. You just got to be like, dog, like, why do you smell so bad? My cousin did that to me one time.

I smelled like shit at my cousin's house when I was younger. I didn't know. You know, you like can't smell your own breath. That's got to be the biggest downfall of like the human body. You can't smell that. Like when I wake up in the morning, I'm like, okay, my breath smells. I can like taste it, which is ah. But like even after I brush my teeth in the morning, I'm like, eh, still pretty fucking bad.

Now it just tastes like shit and fucking Colgate. But like you can't really smell your own BO because you're, like, around it all the time. Like, when you smell it yourself, it's, like, 10 hours too late. Tell them to get certain dry. Certain dry, bro, that shit that you put on your armpits. Anybody have that? Dude, I sweat so bad I know everybody in high school like like low-key you're like

Freshman year in high school you start to your pits start to sweat dude the first time I fucking saw a picture of myself with pit sweat. I was like, ah I was like somebody take me out back I don't deserve to live. Dude, the pictures with the pit stains, there's no worse, like, thing, man. If you're like, hey, this is my friend Bobby. I'm like, they're like, you should meet him.

He's cool. You guys would be friends. And the first picture they show me is him with a fucking pit stain. I'm like,'re like you should meet him he's cool you guys would be friends and the first picture they show me is him with a fucking pit stain I'm like Bobby's gross I don't know how people can look past some shit like that dude I feel so bad when people have pit stains so I had them all the time all the time and it was disgusting like you know when you know you have pit stains you don't raise your arms for like four hours? You're like...

They're like, hey, Ben, can you reach up and get that cup? I'm like, I'm not thirsty. They're like, yeah, I know, it's for me. I'm like, I gotta go. I just gotta call. I gotta help my friend move. That's the worst. But I got this thing called Certain Dry. My friend was like, yo, bro, try this. Certain Dry. That's the worst. Ugh.

But I got this thing called certain dry. My friend was like, yo, bro, try this. Certain dry. You like put it on your armpits and then like you don't sweat anymore. I was like, yeah, right. That doesn't fucking work. But like that night I was at Walgreens and I was like, boop. Drove home. It was like roll on like, you know how you have like the liquid deodorant?

It was like that. It was like a roll on ball. Put it under your armpits. And like, dude, they're like, you know how you have like the liquid deodorant? It was like that. It was like a roll on ball. Put it under your armpits. And like, dude, they're like, roll it twice. Bang, bang. That's it. Because this stuff is like strong. I was like, that's like basically what the direction said.

And I did it. Bang, bang. And I was like, I don't think it came out enough. Bang, bang. And I was like, I don't think it came out that time either. Bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang. And I was like, okay, I feel satisfied. Did that to my other armpit and then my dude my armpits were on fire all night dude it felt like there are 1600 fire ants on my armpits i don't think i slept that night dude it was it was like

somebody fucking you know you get like a bikini wax. Well, like I don't, but you know those things. Like when somebody, and you're like, ah, that sounds, it felt like that for seven hours. Itchy on fire pits, bro. And then, uh, the next day, the next day it was like still kind of like that. But then dude, after that moment, freshman year, my armpits never sweat again. I swear. Never. If you have pit sweat problems, put certain dry on that.

That shit works better than any product I've ever had in my life. Certain dry. It probably, like, caused some, like, it has, like, a counter effect, though. Like, your armpits don't sweat, but, like feet like just stink like shit my PE teacher always used to be like don't put deodorant on your feet and we were like why because low-key in the back of my head I was like that's a good idea she's like don't put deodorant on your feet because she like one of her friends put deodorant on her feet and had to go to the hospital like almost died because it like fucked everything up like in her like in a sweat gland

system in your body it like fucked it all up but ever since she said that i was like she was on something all right a couple more here we go what's something your loved one does that's super annoying, but you don't have the heart to tell them? When my partner moves my vents in my car, instead of just adjusting the temperature and fan, it irritates me to no end. Yeah, that is like a personal attack. Dude, when somebody pulls that in your car and just fucking closes your vents,

you're like, oh my god. You could have said something. It's like the biggest fuck you. It's the biggest fuck you ever. Just shutting the shit out of them like shutters on a house. You're like, oh, okay. She must be uh too hot i'm really sorry what's something your loved one does that's super annoying but you don't

have the heart to tell them swallow their drinks too loud that's my fucking worst nightmare it's always everybody's first drink my sister's's the worst, dude. She'll have a big glass of water and I'll be like not thinking anything of it because I don't know that her fucking throat isn't like warmed up yet. And she'll go to drink it and her

first gulp will be like like this. Just the first gulp She's like yeah I'm gonna get a drink real quick I'm like cool yeah Glasses are right there Um yeah She's like I just want some water I'm like cool

Pours it I'm still cool pours it I'm still just like sitting there then all of a sudden Holy fucking shit, that's exactly what it is. I'm like, oh You turn the volume down. Can I shut the vents on your throat noise? I'm thirsty real quick. Middle of the night.

Wake up the whole fucking neighborhood. It's always something in a fucking glass of water. Big glass of water, cold drink Everything's perfect Oh man, I'm so thirsty Then she's like, that was good

I'm like I break all the glasses in the house Turn off the water valve I'm like, no That's it, that's it for the fucking drinking sound effects holy shit bro it's always after i drink milk too bro my throat makes the weirdest noises especially on this podcast it's always some shit like that after i drink like a glass of milk i'm like and i'll put my cup down somebody will be like Ben what do you have going on today

and I'll be like I just gotta go to the store you ever try to fucking power through that you're like I just wanna go through the store and everybody heard it but they're like did he just fucking turn into an alien

dude I love dude the people that just let that one go are fucking saints Did he just fucking turn into an alien? Dude, I love... Dude, the people that just let that one go are fucking saints. But the people that call you out for it... What the fuck's in your throat? Love you even more. Holy shit. What do you have going on today, Ben? I'm like...

You guys didn't hear that, right? Thanks! You guys didn't hear that right? Thanks. You guys didn't hear me sound like a fucking extraterrestrial, right? Alright. Thanks. Needy. What do you have going on today, Ben? I just gotta take over the fucking world! I just gotta go to the store, what's up? Shit. Oh my god? Oh, shit.

Oh, my God. All right, let's do a... Hold up before we go viral. I just want to say the Espresso podcast is brought to you by Wave One Media. If you want to start your own show, visit thewaveone.com. All right, let's go viral. Viral. Viral. alright let's go viral viral viral hashtags of the week

hashtag hashtag tips for rainy days oh man I fucking love when it rains dude I'm always like oh yeah it'd be so awesome to watch a movie today I've never fucking ever watched a movie when it rains but I always think about it I'm like damn that'd be awesome never have I watched a movie I kind of hate it when

it rains and then all of a sudden it gets sunny again I I'm like, wait, wait, hey. I was just, I just wanted to be a bitch for the whole day. All right? And then all of a sudden you're going to make me, like, do some shit? Like, when stuff gets rained out, I'm like, thank God, man. It could be a concert that I've been waiting to go to my whole life. If it's torrential downpour that night, I'm like, yes! The worst weather of all time, though, is when it gets sunny after it night. I'm like, yes! The worst weather of all time, though, is when it gets sunny after it rains.

I'm like, fuck. It's like, it's hot out, but the ground's still wet. The grass is wet. I'm like, ew! I'm like... Let's do days. Wednesday. Let's do days Wednesday National Junk Food Day

Junk food bro Reminds me of that scene in Shazam You remember that? That movie Shazam Wait a minute Is it called Shazam? There's like two Shazams. I swear, or like I'm tripping right now,

but I swear there's a movie called Shazam, and it's with Shaq. But we used to watch that like on repeat when we were kids. We had a rotation of like one movie when I was a kid. Yeah. Kazam. Fuck, I'm so stupid. Shaq is the most popular person of all time I swear to god but uh

we watched like four movies when I was growing up it was like Kazam Georgia the Jungle uh A League of Their Own and Happy Gilmore that's like it so I've seen those four movies and then they're like Rocky Those are like what it is bro

I swear to god But there's a scene in Kazam where like This kid wishes for like Shaq's like a genie or something and this kid wishes for junk food And it all falls from the sky And it's like disgusting junk food It's like burgers and like candy bars It's like piling up

He wished for so much it's like it makes me feel so fat but low-key junk food though junk food hits so different during that like if you if you're going on a car ride like a like on the way back from something going to your house and you go to a gas station get like a bag of trail mix and you're like listening to that song this song it's always that weird voice why is this so cool though like what are they what on earth is this bitch saying? Right here. If you're in the car on the way back going home

no worries in the world eating trail mix and that song's on bro I'm in the best mood of all time. That's it. Oh, dude, Pop-Tarts lately have been fucking me up. I know I say that probably every podcast, but that's my junk food right now.

Blueberry Pop-Tarts. What is it? I always default to those i went in the gas station we were on the way home from our show in michigan and i was like oh bro i'm about to get a snickers like i'm about to like yeah i'm about to like get some shit in this gas station i'm about to turn the i'm about to i might even get like a like like the like the most guilty can i like, I'm ready for it. I haven't had dessert in like three days. Let's go. Walked out with blueberry Pop-Tarts.

I was like, fuck. Thursday. National Mango Day. Mangoes are like a fruit that's like in everything, but nobody eats the real fruit you know like flavors are always like mango peach and i'm like that sounds really fucking good but like i've only had a mango in real life like three times mangoes are such like uh they're such like the the rich girl of fruit Like Paris Hilton's definitely a banana

Like um That's hot Mangoes are like The girl in high school that like nobody Nobody like She's like mysterious She dates a guy from another school And you're like what is it with that girl

She like doesn't really talk. Does she even like us? Does she even want to go here? There's always some people at your school growing up that like they don't give a fuck about anything that's going on in the school. And you're like, wow. Bold. They don't play on any teams. They're just like there for school.

Then they're out. Gone. And they have like a cool car and you're like like there for school. Then they're out. Gone. And they have like a cool car. And you're like, how did she get that car? That's Mango. And you never, like, like she doesn't go to the dances. She doesn't do shit at the high school. You're just like, whatever.

Date some dude named like Kurt from Center Grove. You're like, what? How does she even know him? She doesn't say anything. She doesn't give a fuck. It's like she doesn't even go to the school. Like at lunch, she just sits like with her friend that like she transferred in with and that's it.

You're like, whoa. They don't even have social media. You're like, what? That's mango. Friday. social media you're like what that's mango friday gorgeous grandma day i remember this one dude i remember this this is from dude gorgeous grandma day that is so fucking weird there are some good looking grandmas though we had this god damn grandma teacher kinda I'm not saying she was like I'm not being weird

but like she looked good that's so weird I'm not trying to be weird but like she looked fucking good no like for real shit like I was like if that was my grandma I'd be like please make me a fucking pie i can't say this without being a creep

you ever see a good looking grandpa though you're like damn like there's this grandpa in black widow the movie i just saw and like i was like i'm looking you ever see a guy when if a guy's ever like um this is what I want to look like when I get older and shows you a picture that means that he has a crush on that guy like when I get older I want to look like Jeff Goldblum I think he's I think his I'm like damn he looks good and when I get super old I want to look like the guy in Black Widow What the fuck's his name This guy I want to look like this guy when I'm really old

Ray Winstone That's what I want to look like when I'm really old Ray Winstone Oh he's in the Guardian or whatever I don't know he's just like he just looks so fucking Ray Winstone. Oh, he's in The Guardian or whatever. I don't know. He just looks so fucking... Dude, the old guy's glasses. I swear to God, you can look like anything when you're old.

But if you have the right fucking frames on your glasses, it can make you look so good. I'm like, that guy's so rich. The right frames on your goddamn glasses man i can't wait to just wear some stupid fucking frames on my glasses when i'm like 72 oh shit jeff goldblum and ray winson both guys wear the fucking thickest odd frames on their glasses that's's all I really want. I don't give a shit what I look like when I'm older. I just want some, like, some, like, fucking goggles. I just want some rec specs when I'm fucking mowing the grass when I'm older.

Man, that guy looks great. Saturday. National Day of the Cowboy. You ever see somebody that actually thinks they're a cowboy? Cowboy hats, though. Like, wearing a cowboy hat sometimes. Like, I had to buy one for, like, a promotional ad thing that I did. And I felt so fucking cool wearing that cowboy hat.

I'm not going to lie. I was like, damn, dude. What if I just, like, wore this one night and buying that hat was insane. I did. I had to buy a cowboy hat for this thing. And I was like, where the fuck do they sell cowboy hats? Like I went to Meijer and they're like, we don't have any. I was like, why the fuck not? But anyway, there's this place called boot barn. I like looked it up on google i was like cowboy hats shopping you know when you do that and you're like let's see what we got boot barn

went into boot barn there were so many fucking cowboy hats i don't even know if they sold boots bro there's cowboy hats everywhere in that bitch and all of a sudden like i didn't i went from wanting to pay 15 say to a cowboy hat. I looked at the wall of cowboy hats and I was like, I think the max I'm going to spend is probably $150. Like that, bro. They had so many. I had no idea cowboy hats were like a thing.

Bro, some cowboy hats were like $2,000. I was like, dude, who are you, fucking John Wayne? But I was like, hey, should I go Brown? I got like a mid range one. I was like Brent and it had like a print around the top. I was like, I turned into like a cowboy hat connoisseur. I was like, I don't like that one. Cause the brim it's too flat, a little hard on top. And I was like, Brown or black. I tried them both on my head to the boot barn, like lady at cash register and she goes she looked at me this is the most convincing like sale sale technique I've ever she looked at me and she goes hey definitely brown and she said it in like a tone that was like you look so good in that fucking brown hat baby boy and I was like I take I was like

I like fucking threw the black I like threw the black hat behind me. Fucking hit somebody. Hey! I like tipped her. You ever, does somebody ever fucking treat you so well you just want to tip them? You're like, fuck, here. Yeah, I've never worn, I actually have no idea where that cowboy hat is. But some people, like, you ever see a guy just like really thinks he's a cowboy? He's got that big fucking face belt buckle and he's got like old ass wrinkled skin and like just boots and a hat.

I'm like, what are you going to do, man? Round up the fucking cattle? You're going to have a quick draw outside this Qdoba? Hey! He's like. He's like... He's like... I hope they remembered my guacamole. Guacamole.

Alright. Shot 168. Thanks for listening. Remember to follow, rate, review, subscribe On Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and YouTube Get on Instagram, TikTok, Cameo, Twitter All at Benedict Polizzi Hit me up

If you got a question, if you got feedback If you want to do the espresso question of the week If you got something in mind Let me know But okay Thanks for listening guys I'll talk to you next week IFM espresso question of the week. If you got something in mind, let me know. But okay. Thanks for listening, guys. I'll talk to you next week. Outro Music