Espresso - million dollar ideas

Episode Date: April 1, 2021

sup? this week bennie breaks down the fam's million dollar ideas (like having subtitles in real life ... which would be good cuz ben can't hear until after 4pm eastern standard time) He talks about when his mom used to beat his ass in the middle of haircuts and having his first anxiety attack when changing the channel in front of people. Ben makes his own WHITE BOI SUMMER rules and regs, creates Lil Nas X satan shoes for kids and has a 4th gwade speech moment, he goes #ViViViViral and #DaysOfTheWeek but you already knew that 😎 𝘿𝙈 𝙤𝙧 𝙏𝙬𝙚𝙚𝙩 𝘼𝙉𝙔 𝙦𝙪𝙚𝙨𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣𝙨 𝙛𝙤𝙧 𝘽𝙚𝙣 𝙩𝙤 𝙖𝙣𝙨𝙬𝙚𝙧 𝙤𝙣 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙥𝙤𝙙 ! (@benedictpolizzi) →→→ 𝗗𝗼𝗻'𝘁 𝗙𝗼𝗿𝗴𝗲𝘁 𝗧𝗼 𝗥𝗮𝘁𝗲 & 𝗥𝗲𝘃𝗶𝗲𝘄! 𝗦𝗲𝗻𝗱 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗵𝗼𝗺𝗶𝗲 𝗮 𝗖𝗮𝗺𝗲𝗼 𝗳𝗿𝗼𝗺 𝗕𝗲𝗻!: https://v.cameo.com/E48BXekQ29 𝗧𝗶𝗸𝗧𝗼𝗸: https://www.tiktok.com/@benedictpolizzi?source=h5_m 𝗬𝗼𝘂𝗧𝘂𝗯𝗲: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCXRwNZpU67AK24r5QGfIfCw 𝗜𝗻𝘀𝘁𝗮𝗴𝗿𝗮𝗺: https://www.instagram.com/benedictpolizzi/ 𝗧𝘄𝗶𝘁𝘁𝗲𝗿: https://twitter.com/benedictpolizzi

The Espresso Podcast is brought to you by Wave 1 Media. Too much nose breath. If you want to start your own show, visit thewave1.com. Shot 152. Me playing Mario. Going fast as shit and jumping off the cliff in nine seconds. Fuck! Mario was so fast coming out of the gates.

Like, you could zoom. I played Mario like one time because I was like, Oh, it's a classic game. It'll be fun. Died like 19 times in a row. I never played it again. I suck at those games. Because I get so impatient and I just go. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Shot 152. What it do? Yeah. Shot 152. Yeah. Subscribe to the pod. Ask a friend, do it too I like honey and butter, yeah, yeah, I like honey and butter, yeah

Winnie the Pooh, what, yeah, he's a little tan bear in a red shirt I'm a red shirt, I'm a red shirt. I couldn't play my freshman year cause I was hurt. Loki wasn't good enough. It's okay. Got better and better. Yeah. Yeah.

Cheese and cheddar. What? I don't know, dude, but what's up? Anyway. Shot 152, what it do? Espresso podcast with Ben Polizzi. Remember to rate, subscribe, review the pod because it's happening, dude. It's doing better and better.

It's growing. Tell the down ass homies, tell the gang. Because this is going to blow up. Thank you guys so much for listening. Remember to follow on Instagram, Twitter, Cameo, TikTok, all at Benedict Polizzi. What's up, man? We got a lot to talk about. Let's talk.

All right, so... Yeah, video games growing up That little Mario beat I just threw on there My intro to video games was weird I could only play video games at my friend's house And cousin's house and shit because we weren't allowed to have them growing up. I don't know what that was about.

But my parents thought I was going to get, like, super addicted to it, which I was even more because I couldn't have them growing up. Like, I'd go over to my friend's house and my cousin's house and all I would think about was playing video games, which is, like, the exact opposite of what my parents wanted. They're like, we want you to be glued to the TV. That's why we're not getting you the games, your little system. They'd always call it the wrong thing. Like I, like I, I finally got a fucking GameCube in fifth grade because I like tricked my dad or something. Anytime I wanted

something that was like perfectly normal, my dad thought it was like drugs. So I like tricked my dad or something. Anytime I wanted something that was like perfectly normal, my dad thought it was like drugs. So I like had to trick my dad into buying me a GameCube and I had one and then he called it a fucking play. He bought me a PlayStation game for it. I was like, God, my mom never knew how to turn it off. So she just like, my mom like would get mad at me while I was playing GameCube and she'd be so pissed and she just turned the power off on the tv so the tv would be off and i'd be like all right i'll stop playing but i gotta like turn the tv back on pause it and then i save it then i'll go to my room she'd be like turn your playstation off turn your playstation off one time i was getting a haircut and she's like no more place Dude, my mom always cut my hair growing up. I don't know why

Because it like saved money or something But i'd sit on this fucking stool in her bathroom This like stool that was like a counter height I'd sit on that stool with just like a cape over me Sometimes not even the cape. And she would cut my hair and just like beat my head around for half an hour. Come on. Stop.

Benny. Stop. Smack in the fuck. Stop. Move your head this way. Move your. Move. Move.

Like I don't know why we couldn't just spend ten dollars on a haircut it was literally dude a kid's haircut is seven bucks my mom's like I don't know I always just want to do that little surfer flip up anyway so it was fine that's the only haircut I wanted growing up to like uh eighth grade was just that swoop on top that ski slope or that that snowboard slope I was just like mom I just want the slope that was such the style growing up fuck boy third grader starter pack that haircut i had a lot of fucked up haircuts growing up oh shoot yeah but video games man this podcast is so this is just be called add with ben polizai yeah but my parents didn't want me to play video games growing up because they thought i'd be like ADD with Ben Polizai Yeah but

My parents didn't want me to play video games growing up Because they thought I'd be like hooked on it forever Hooked on Fon Phonics was my shit Growing up in first grade Remember that? Phonics Whenever we had phonics class I was like This shit is so fucking easy

There's a picture of a frog and then four words That look like frog and one of them was actually frog I was like this shit is so fucking easy There's a picture of a frog And then four words that look like frog And one of them was actually frog I was like that one The fuck what's wrong Is this a problem We really have to have this course My phonics book bro

Could go through that mother With a blindfold over my eyes Phonics What got me in first grade though it was the uh everything else board races board races got me good growing up in school i could do phonics i could do shit at my desk all day really but when we had to go to the board and they were like four times three and i'd be like fuck dude or how is that crazy that you would just have to like in in school growing up in like elementary school You'd have to go in front of the on the board in front of your whole entire class and do like a long division problem

Is there anything worse Name one thing that's more embarrassing than that Besides changing a channel on the tv in front of like 45 guys at a bar i had to do that the other day it's march madness and i work at a restaurant and my table is like hey can you put the game on to um espn it's arkansas And I was like, holy shit. Yeah. And every time they say that, I'm like, oh, God. I can't. And I usually try to get a manager to do it because the managers know the TV numbers,

but no one was around. The guy was like, hey. He asked me again. He's like, can you, if you got a sec? I was like, oh god i'm gonna do this so i go up to so i get the remote which is like the hardest thing to do at a restaurant is find a remote but it's like total chaos found it i was like you can't even find your a remote in your goddamn house let alone a crazy restaurant found the remote so then i gotta go up to the tv and i'm like oh man like

what the fuck is even espn you know it's on some weird channel that was like had a game on now it's not it was just like soap operas or something i was like so i go up to the tv and i'm like um guide we'll go guide of course the button doesn't work i'm like uh then i gotta do that thing with my arm looks like i'm waving down a fucking airplane i'm like going across the room like doing this with the weirdest arm over the top remote thing finally get channels to pop up and i'm going i'm going i'm going I'm going I'm going well how come it's like normal channels you recognize normal channels you recognize normal channels you recognize you go one too far and it's like Latino pop music I was like no like that's when you know you're dead right when I got to Latino pop music my back got soaking wet hot and I looked behind me and the guy was like just staring at just staring at

everything I did I was like oh my god he knows I'm in Latino pop now fuck now I gotta go all the way back through all the I couldn't find like the page up on the remote where it goes faster like it's not my TV it's not my TV it's just what I want to say to everybody at the bar. You got it. What if you it's not you?

That's what I want to do next time. Hey, will you change it? You motherfucker here. Bring a universal remote to the restaurant if you want the TV changed. It's not my TV! I don't even know how to work my TV! Okay, so give me a fucking second! Bring the arm back up. And then like they're like, it's on CBS and I'm like, CBS low-key is always channel 6.

But if I go to channel 6, is it going to be the HD version? Like like imagine watching a basketball game at a bar and it's just in like normal deaf tv like what you had when you're 10 they'd be like i i dude it always goes to the music channel When you're in music channels You're in hell Who's listening to Latino pop music on their TV?

Not my TV Dude Top 10 most embarrassing moments Long division on the board in front of your class changing the channel on a tv i'm about to take all the remotes in the restaurant and throw them outside in the street cars just so we don't have to turn any tvs on they're all just on one channel i can't believe there wasn't like... I can't believe there were actually batteries in the remote, first of all.

Steal the remote. Run outside of the restaurant with the remote. You gave him the remote to change the channel? What if he ran away with it? Good. Good! God! Dude, there's one guy at the restaurant.

It was a Friday. It was warm out on Friday. Warm as hell in Indianapolis. So warm. Dude, and everybody was drunk as fuck downtown. Every single person I ran into. Everybody downtown on Friday was out of their minds. Turnt lord.

Just because it was warm. Here we go every single person in indianapolis on friday people that weren't supposed to be drunk were hit this guy i swear to god this guy at the bar he was like okay there's a patio at the restaurant I work at and then there's like an outside open area and they're like, you can walk in between them. You can just like go in the patio and go outside like freely and there's a TV in the patio and the outside's just seating.

This guy was sitting at the bar and every time anything happened in the game, he was like, don't fuck! No! And then he'd walk out to the patio and like cool off and then get back to the bar and like another thing can happen and you'll be like god damn it! Dude and they're fucking

they're like families everywhere. This guy in a pink pole Oh fuck god no! Fuck! Slamming shit. Like how much money does he have on this game? He doesn't even have money on it, though. He's just, like, a diehard, like, Arkansas fan.

God! A grandma, three grandkids, and a grandpa that's about to pass away, like, two feet next to him. Fuck! I swear to God! I was like, dude, and, like, he was, like like, the game was over and he was still fucking doing that shit. To like CNN after the game. To like a news report after the game.

They're like, it will be raining tomorrow in Indianapolis. Fuck, are you serious? God! Dude, imagine, like, imagine not caring about anybody around you like that's my worst fear what if what if the next day he was like you had a good time at the restaurant should have came out i always picture the drunk ass guys the next morning just being like like what do they think you know after i do something dumb and wake up i'm like oh my god i want to send like a handwritten letter to the person's house that i like

didn't even say anything weird too but i woke up and i'm like like imagine that fuck guy i'd buy everybody in the restaurant edible arrangements if I was that guy. But he was probably just like, yeah, I might go back tonight. Root on my fucking team. You want to go? Fuck! Oh, my God, dude. Just for hours.

He never left. Nobody ever said anything to him. I was like, am I the only one seeing this shit? 18 shots deep. Fuck! Alright, what else happened? Chet Hanks made a white boy summer list. Let's see what this is all about real quick.

Chet. First of all. Chet. Chet. What the fuck does... What's the long... elongated Chet name? Chet is short...

for... The name Chet is a boy's name of English origin meaning fortress-walled town. Chet is an old-fashioned short term that a la Ned Joe is starting to sound cool again. Okay, what the fuck? Is it Chet? Chet.

What does Chet stand for? Connecticut Higher Education Trust. This is so dumb. Am I stupid? Chester. Fucking Chester is his name. Chester Hanks. Chet. Chess. I'd definitely call him Chess. Chester? This whole time. You knew it was something weird though, because like Chet. Chess. I'd definitely call him Chess. Chester? This whole time.

You knew it was something weird, though, because like Chet. Chet's weird already. The long version couldn't have been as bad. And guess what? It's the name of a cheese puff mascot. All right. What'd he say? Let's see. Chet Hanksanks Chester Hanks rules for summer white boy all right here we go Chet Hanks lays out white boy summer

rules there we go Chet Hanks White boy summer rules and regs Oh wow, wow, wow He should just like He should just shorten everything Because his name is Chet Alright, here we go Chet Hanks Oh wow, wow, wow

Woke up this morning Internet gone mad again He's the most white boy of all time Looks like me if my parents let me drink Mountain Dew Tats on my chest what's good but I just want to drop a few rules and regs for the white boys number okay rule number one got a short and everything names Chet a white boy got a short and everything cuz his name's Chet he's out there no plaid shirts okay i can't be looking

like a picnic table out here boys uh you know what i'm talking about leave that shit's at home the uh vineyard vines and you know never worn plaid um the red plaid shirt is what i have what i'm thinking about like the longer one but that's not really summer leave that shit at home uh it's probably a black tea a white tea you know what i mean keep it simple i am with that like the longer one, but that's not really summer. Leave that shit at home. Just pump out a black tea, a white tea. You know what I mean? Keep it simple. I am with that.

Plain shirts. Rule number two, no sperry top-siders. That's not the kind of white boys we're talking about, dog. Okay? Get yourself some Vans, some Joks, some Jordans. I'm not really a sneakerhead but you know feel it out uh fans and chucks though okay shoes in the summer make sure they're low make sure they're casual and like light light breathable shoes just go to pac-man and get anything but chucks or vans and uh there'll be more rules coming.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. No calling girls smoke shows, okay? Okay? All right, if you listen to this podcast, you don't have to do that because nobody that listens to this podcast is friends with anybody that said smoke show. That term is, it's played out, dude.

And they can't just see a hot chick and be like dude you see a fucking smoke show dude fucking smoke dude we call them biddies okay that's over with oh yeah and anything salmon colored wardrobe burn it burn that shit don't ever wear that again. Okay? Bottom line here, gentlemen. I just got a salmon hoodie the other day and it goes kind of hard. But... It just seems like one guy would be wearing it. It's time for us to evolve. Okay? Period.

Dude, it seems like he's talking about one guy wearing all that stuff. Like, I can picture one guy wearing, like, a salmon flannel shirt with Sperry's and being like, Yo, you see that smoke show? He's okay. He's on it. He's kind of on it. We can add to that as a collective espresso group. Here's the white boy summer rules from espresso.

The espresso podcast. The white boy summer rules from Ben Polizzi. No mid socks. Unless you're at the gym. Socks that are Nike. Have a little check on them. You know what I'm talking about. They're the most comfortable socks in the world.

You can wear them at your house. You can wear them at the gym. You can wear them when you're working out and stuff. But if you go to an Applebee's in those. Or a bar. It's Mr go no um we're wearing black even if it's 10 000 degrees outside we're wearing black Sorry Sorry It's part of the rules You gotta wear black Doesn't matter what the temperature is If you don't wear black

Because you think it's too hot outside You're a little bitch Guys aren't wearing sandals 2021 Hot boy summer For white guys And really just all guys No more sandals

Unless you're literally at a beach On your family vacation and you rented out the whole hotel. Guy's feet. No, dude. Just cover them up. I don't even wear sandals in my house anymore. I don't even go barefoot in my house anymore. I'm like, nah. Like somebody's looking through the window.

So this sniper that's gonna fucking shoot my Achilles out is probably like, damn, his feet are fucked up. And last thing, last thing, last thing, real quick. We're shaving our fucking necks, white boys. Back in front. Under the beard, under the chin. Shave your fucking neck. You ever seen somebody with so much neck hair in the back and the front?

Like connects under their ear. And you're like, are you wearing a Spartan helmet? We're not doing that. No Spartan helmets 2021 summer. Ten hut! We're not wearing ink socks we're always wearing black we're never wearing sandals

and we're shaving our necks and not really having that much sex but we're gonna but it's not gonna be like insane you know what I mean it's gonna be the normal amount 2021 white boy summer Lil Nas X came out with some devil shoes a normal amount. 2021 White Boy Summer.

Lil Nas X came out with some devil shoes. I don't know what to think about this. They go kind of hard. I like how he just was like, fuck it, yeah, do it. I like that part of him. But the real blood in them? I would feel so fucked up if I wore those. Wouldn't you? I'd feel like my karma would be

lost for like two years i'd have to know where the blood's from maybe if it was the blood from like little nas x's like finger or something i'd be like all right satan nike shoes little nas x is kind of a genius that way, though. You know, he only did it for, like, the marketing. But I swear to God, I think Lil Nas X is a genius. He is. Everything he does for all his shit blows up constantly. And, like, all of his replies and shit are so witty. I'm like, what?

Are you the devil? I don't know. Those shoes are a little fried, though. Real blood? If they didn't have real blood, I'd be like, all right. Like, imagine the kids in the back of the bus wearing those. I would never talk to them. Ah!

The back of the bus is like if Hot Topic and Spencer's Gifts was one store. Hot Topic and Spencer's Gifts was one store. Who's going to be the kid at public school with Lil Nas X Satan shoes? What if they sold them in U sizes? That would be fucked up. I'm looking for the Lil Nas X devil shoes. Do you have them in a 7Y? Let's get to the question of the week.

Quick, quick, quick, quick, quick, quick, quick, espresso question of the week. All right, here we go. What's your million dollar idea? Hmm? Everybody's got a little list in their phone. I've had a list in my phone forever about stuff I'm going to do, but I'm never going to do it. You know, how come it's so hard to put those things in the,

you got to have a patent and then you got to get it legally. I'm like, right when you say legally, I'm like, I'm all right, I'm good. Grace Sexton. What's your million dollar idea?

Keurig built into a golf cart I guess because you're out on the course all day And you can't have I guess it'd be like putting a bunch of coffee In a thermos and just carrying it around Because people do that with beer coolers Like I gotta bring the cooler on the cart And go golfing doing 18 rounds a day

So we're gonna be out there From noon till 10pm But dude when guys go golfing doing 18 rounds today so we're gonna be out there from noon till 10pm but dude when guys go golfing they go for like 24 years no wonder guys like golf so much they're like I gotta go hit the links cause it takes them like 14 years to do it

so they don't have to do anything else with their family don't have a family then Keurig built into a golf cart I mean I guess if you want fresh fucking coffee Yeah What's your million dollar idea? Cheddar Cool Strip club, laundromat

Make it hail on them bitches I can't believe that I mean they've done laundry in tan Laundry in tan actually a really good idea When tanning was like a thing I can't believe that. I mean, they've done laundry and tan. Laundry and tan actually a really good idea. When tanning was like a thing, I talk about tanning on every podcast, but when that was a thing and you just had to get your laundry done,

why wouldn't you just, the things you can do while you're doing laundry. I don't, I'm never more productive than when I'm doing something else. Like I can't just work on something, like something else has to be happening. Like there has to be like something boiling on the stove for me to get anything done. What's your million dollar idea?

L. Bullard. A washer that has a chute tunnel to the drive that can switch over the laundry for the day. Yes. That's the one. That's on my list. Why hasn't that happened? A washer on top of a dryer. When the washing stuff's done, drops right into the dryer.

Dryer starts. That little in-between change shit needs to go, bro. Who has time to change that shit? Just one, it should literally spit it out of your dryer too. Put it in the washer. Put it in the dryer.

Dries it. And then out of the fucking dryer, it should be like, and just spits it all over the ground. I wish it would fold it too. That'll never happen. But you know, it's a good one.

What about just, okay, I got one. I got one. I just thought of one. I can't believe mirrors still fog up like after you take a shower and the mirrors fogged up i'm like you serious still anti-fogging mirrors how don't hotels have those i'm like damn i really gotta fucking like i really gotta do something in the living room

With my towel around my waist for like 7 minutes or 8 minutes And sometimes it takes like half an hour I'm like dude I just want to look at my goddamn face What do I have to do? Run to a lake and look over the Look over top of it like Pocahontas Oh shit.

This is the best one I've ever seen in my life. N-A-Y-I-R-I-T-A-R-A. I don't know what that is. Nay-ree-tara. What's your million dollar idea? She said subtitles but in real life conversations. Dude, i would be so that would change my life i can probably i can probably understand 25 of what people are saying i can't believe that's still a thing that we're just listening to people that seems like

archaic just listening to people talk i'm like i need like it's like handwriting almost like when you when somebody writes something down every single time single time, even if I can read it, I'm like, what the fuck does that even say? Like, when your dad writes something down, you're like, what? I feel like that's what speaking is like now. Like, when somebody says something to me, I'm like, what did you say? What the fuck? I'm supposed to know what you just said with all that shit in your mouth

and talking the other direction and real quiet and weird. The mask over your face. Dude, there has to be... I hope those Apple glasses that come out have the subtitles for real conversations. Subtitles on TV are the shit. Those aren't in the way at all i can't really watch tv without them i don't know who started doing that i think it was at my dad's house he just always had

subtitles on and i was like what the the first two days i was like this is what why why i can hear why and then like then like the rest of the week i was like damn this shit really helps that would change my fucking life em cleary what's your million dollar idea zero calorie alcohol i'd never thought i didn't know alcohol had calories in it till like two years ago like how does something taste like that and have calories in it? What? Because they have to put, like, hella syrup in there because it's literally poison? Yeah, when I figured out, like, a shot is, like, the same thing as a beer, I was like, what?

This shit has calories in it? A shot. This. That blew my damn mind. Yeah, there should definitely be zero calorie alcohol. It already tastes like shit. It can't get much worse. For the rest of my life. Vade Boncour.

What's your million dollar idea? Instagram accounts for humans run by dog posting pictures of their owner. Uber for dogs. Okay, this is stupid. Uber for dogs.

Okay. Some guy said slimy, slimy, slimy sims 12. What's your million dollar idea? What's your million dollar idea? He goes, ever put marshmallows on your ribeye? What the fuck, dude? Never had a ribeye, honestly.

Ribeye! Ribeye! Okay. Okay, Twitter now. Here we go. Michael Winter. What's your million dollar idea? Auto caption generator called

Cap App. That's actually fire. Cap App. Or just pay somebody. Or just pay one of your friends. Everybody has a friend that you like send your Instagram stuff to before you post it just to make sure it's not like

completely psycho. Like yes or no? Yes no yes okay we're good some people are just good at captions some people are good at using emojis properly some people are good at captions just nothing to it Keith Boone what's your million dollar idea lawn carpets a carpet that looks and feels like grass that replaces

your lawn perfectly green You don't have to pull weeds or cut it. Quick dries after rain so you can go play cornhole or bocce ball or croquet. Guy likes playing games. That's fucking turf, dude. What the hell? Lawn carpets.

That's literally, they have that on every field. Dan Patterson, what's your million dollar idea? Misty lube, sunscreen spray station at public places that works like water misters. That's actually fire. Dude, asking somebody to put SPF 90 on your back is so weird. Unless you're doing it to your girlfriend or something. But, like, when you got to put SPF on, like, your friend's back.

Like, they're weird, hairy, like, weird, like, deformities and, like, ulcers and, like, crevices and bumps and tumors. I'm like, dude, just get burnt. Okay. Let's, uh, let's do days.

Let's wrap this up. Wednesday. National little wet. Oh my God. I can't say my R's. You ever trip up and like sound like a, like a, I can't say my R's. You ever trip up and sound like a kid who can't say his R's? Like I almost was like, National Little Wedwagon Day. You ever do that?

Like have like a fourth grade moment? It happened to somebody who was telling me something the other day and they did a fourth grade moment and I was like, oh shit. I didn't even say anything. I swear to god I'm the nicest man in the world. Normal people would be like, oh shit. I didn't even say anything. I swear to God, I'm the nicest man in the world. Normal people would be like, oh, you can't say your ass. You can't say your ass. You like dinosaurs. You like dinosaurs and some moles and like doing your chores. Oh, did you get your Wapokon? I was just like, I'm just just gonna pretend it never happened because that is so

i don't know what's more embarrassing your voice cracking or being like yeah yeah yeah i just uh went to the super market like when you do one of those the old fourth grade slip up yeah somebody did that at work and i was just like i acted like i didn't hear him. I was on my phone. Then like two minutes later, I was like, what did you say about the thing? He's the nicest man. I could have fucked him up.

Voice cracking, I don't think it's that big of a deal. Probably because my voice cracks 95 times a day. I hate that. Every time I voice crack, somebody's like, 95 times a day I hate that Every time my voice cracks Somebody's like Like dude

You never heard that? I'm like I just ate like 17 peanuts dude And like my Yeah my throat made a Fucking little Little weird noise

That's bad. But the all thing Did you whistle in high school? You're like, oh fuck. I just didn't fuck Sorry, man. I just had a kindergarten moment That's bad. What's the other one? I know there's another one voice crack Forgetting how to say your R's and forgetting how to say your R's and I know there's another one oh the S

whistle you ever do one of those you're like yeah I play sports and the S at the end is like you're like oh did you hear that or is that just me

is that just a thing like in my head or did you actually hear that too yeah i heard that when i said i played sports like how would that ever happen i say one thing and the wind from my breath goes in between my teeth and makes a fucking referee whistle noise. So annoying. Holy shit. National Bunsen burner day. What the hell is that?

Everybody knows what a Bunsen burner is but me. Bunsen burner. Yeah, you just got to take it over to the Bunsen burner. Oh, it's like in chemistry class. they'd always talk about Bunsen burners and I'd always be like who the fuck is Bunsen Bunsen come here Bunsen that's where that was coming from

everybody knew what that was I swear to god I felt like people went to school and then went to school again when I was there for the first time because people knew everything. I was like, what the fuck? How do you know? You know where the upstairs math room is? That's in like the weird corner.

It's like a hidden room back there. They're like, yeah, room 1202. I'm like, working on the weekends like usual. Thursday, April Fool's Day. It's so hard to trick people on April Fool's Day, unless you're me, because I won't know it's April Fool's Day. Some people say like a weird ass thing to me. I'll be like, no, I'm like April Fool's. I'll be like, damn, it's April.

All right. Got me. National Burrito Day. fools I'll be like damn it's April all right got me national burrito day burritos are so much fucking food I'm always like I'm starving I'm gonna get a burrito and I eat one I'm like I'm not eating till Christmas dude burritos are literally babies when they give you a burrito from Qdoba I'm sometimes like dude that dude, that thing is heavy. That's like four pounds. It literally looks like a baby in a blanket. Mommy.

National Sourdough Bread Day. I couldn't pick a worse name for bread. Sourbread. Sourdough bread is honestly pretty gross, if you think about it. If you really think about it, think about bread and the best breads and the worst breads. Sourdough bread's kind of like...

I mean, I guess I'll eat it because I love bread, but fuck. You put some... You got some butter anywhere? Jesus Christ. This shit. Sourdough is what it's called. I mean, damn. Friday! Friday! National PBJ Day. is what it's called. I mean, damn. Friday.

National PBJ Day. I give up peanut butter for Lent. I broke down and had it the other day. When did I have it? Oh, I was starving and I went to Whole Foods and they had a peanut butter and jelly. I've never seen that in my life there. I went to Whole Foods to get like some like

dumbass non-meat thing that would feel good feel good that would feel good that would taste good whoops uh so i got like a vegetable calzone that was horrible shouldn't you know you when you eat buy something and take a bite i always feel like i have to eat it because i bought it i'm like damn i'm not going to waste food but I always eat the whole thing regretfully every bite I'm like it's so gross I'm trying to

convince myself that it's not gross but it is that's the worst that right there is the worst feeling of all time when you're eating something you don't even want and you just keep eating it like you know when you hit like you're full and then you just keep eating because you're like I don't know what else to do kind of

You're like full but you don't know like you're like you want to finish it for some reason in your brains like yeah I need to complete this task That's the worst shit ever or if you're eating something gross do I always like if I eat something gross I'm just like fuck I bought it. I gotta take the l I gotta eat this one Just eating the grossest shit just If I eat something gross, I'm just like, fuck, I bought it. I got to take the L. I got to eat this one. Just eating the grossest shit. Just, oh. All right.

Shot 152. Espresso podcast. Thanks for listening. Remember to rate, review, subscribe. Follow on TikTok, Instagram, Twitter. All at Benedict Polizzi. I love you guys, man. Thanks for listening every week, subscribe. Follow on TikTok, Instagram, Twitter. All at Benedict Polizzi. I love you guys, man. Thanks for listening every week, dude.

This is so dope. If you got any questions you want me to ask or anything, any feedback or anything like that, hit me up. DMs are always open. At Benedict Polizzi. And alright, fam. Be on the lookout for some vids. are always open at Benedict Plitzy and alright fam be on the lookout

for some vids talk to you guys next week bye fam