Espresso - PSYCHO siblings

Episode Date: September 30, 2020

On this shot Ben responds to DM's about the most PSYCHO things your siblings did when you were a kid ... like zipping someone up in a bean bag and throwing them down the ᶠᵘᶜᵏⁱⁿ stairs lol, he also realizes he's the most dangerous person to ever step foot on a trampoline. Ben creates a test involving ROCKY IV to find out if the person you're with is THE one, talks about how naming your car is a deal-breaker AND explains the glitch in a golf guy's personality. He goes #Viral and does #DaysOfTheWeek but you already knew that 😉 𝘿𝙈 𝙤𝙧 𝙏𝙬𝙚𝙚𝙩 𝘼𝙉𝙔 𝙦𝙪𝙚𝙨𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣𝙨 𝙛𝙤𝙧 𝘽𝙚𝙣 𝙩𝙤 𝙖𝙣𝙨𝙬𝙚𝙧 𝙤𝙣 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙥𝙤𝙙 ! >>>> 𝗗𝗼𝗻'𝘁 𝗙𝗼𝗿𝗴𝗲𝘁 𝗧𝗼 𝗥𝗮𝘁𝗲 & 𝗥𝗲𝘃𝗶𝗲𝘄! <<<<< 𝗨𝗽𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗦𝗵𝗼𝘄𝘀: Wed 10/7 Funny Bone (STL) https://stlouisfunnybone.thundertix.com/orders/new?performance_id=2615859 Thurs 10/8 Metazoa Brewing 𝗣𝗲𝗿𝘀𝗼𝗻𝗮𝗹 𝗦𝗵𝗼𝘂𝘁𝗼𝘂𝘁𝘀: https://v.cameo.com/E48BXekQ29 𝗧𝗶𝗸𝗧𝗼𝗸: https://www.tiktok.com/@benedictpolizzi?source=h5_m 𝗬𝗼𝘂𝗧𝘂𝗯𝗲: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCXRwNZpU67AK24r5QGfIfCw 𝗜𝗻𝘀𝘁𝗮𝗴𝗿𝗮𝗺: https://www.instagram.com/benedictpolizzi/ 𝗧𝘄𝗶𝘁𝘁𝗲𝗿: https://twitter.com/benedictpolizzi

Shot 126... ...summon. Ha ha ha ha! I find your lack of faith disturbing. Ha ha ha ha! Here we go! Okay, okay. I find your lack of faith disturbing.

Anytime I physically mail a package and put it into one of those navy blue USPS boxes, and I throw it down in there and I hear it, and I walk away, I'm like, there's no way they're getting that. And then the USPS box looks at me and it's like, I find your lack of faith disturbing seriously every time I put something in there I'm like uh no chance I find your lack of faith disturbing okay Okay Shot 126 What up fam

We got a good one Remember to follow on Twitter Instagram TikTok Cameo All at Benedict Polizzi I put a question out

On Instagram On Monday Psycho stuff your siblings did when you were growing up. There's always somebody that was like my brother chased me around with a knife and almost killed me. Did

everyone do that? I don't know if I did that or not, but let's get into them. We'll do a little bit of that. We'll do a little bit of that. We'll do a little bit of viral stuff. We'll do what's hot and then days of the week. All right, y'all, let's get it. Oh, we got, oh, show's coming up. Show's coming up. Show's coming up. October 7th, St. Louis. I'll be there. St. Louis, homies. And then October 8th on next Thursday,

Metazoa Dog Show. Downtown Indy. Come on, fam. Come out. Say what's up. And we'll have merch dropping soon from the Espresso Pod and like little videos I've been doing and stuff. We got some cool stuff coming. I promise. I promise!

I think I'm going to start doing the podcast on Mondays and then it'll come out on Tuesdays and we'll have like full video and stuff. I'm going to start doing that next week. So things are looking good for the fam. Alright, let's get into these. Alright, here we go. Here we go.

Psycho stuff your siblings did to you when you were younger. Alec Jordan 15 My sister used to throw VHS tapes at me When my parents would leave the house VHS tapes? I guess that is like

It like hurts but it doesn't hurt I love throwing stuff that hurts at people But doesn't hurt You know Come back here Hey shut up You shut up just toy story 2 in the leg

That's what's up, that's what's up VHS tapes VHS I'd be scared to throw one of those I'd be like damn dad's gonna like no See my dad had like the biggest VHS tape collection. I think everybody's parents has like a VHS tape collection There's like 40 VHS tapes Everybody has a big cabinet full of VHS tapes And like your parents are ever going to watch them again Alright here we go A gain you're 55

Weird stuff your siblings did to you when you were a kid Book covers over our heads as masks. A-Gain, you're 55, is my cousin. And one week I just spent, one time when I was younger, I just spent a week at their house and we were just doing God knows what. Isn't that the shit you do when you're a kid?

We put book covers over our heads and cut eyes out of them and we were walking around the house like we were Spider-Man. When you find another person that's down to do do that kind of stuff with you it's a magical moment like wait you like being spider-man like at 3 p.m too when your mom's like kind of making dinner and watching soap operas dude i would just crawl around the house like spider-man forever spider-man or a dog i sort of got half my life as me pretending I'm a dog like from 6 p.m.

Till I went to bed like when I was growing up with in my house like I'd like crawl around the ground be like Ben's being a dog again Like I really wouldn't talk I'd be like Four hours My sisters would look at me like what the fuck and I'd be like Like like if they if they thought I was weird when I was acting like a dog, I'd always do this. You know when dogs do that? They're like,

Dude, I always like, they'd be like, what the fuck are you doing? Then I'd go up to their leg and be like, and they'd be like, Alright, kind of cute. I was acting like a dog not even a dog all right oh he says way too much stuff that he shouldn't say on the podcast shot 126 shot 126 all right mara ludiman

psycho stuff your siblings did to you when you were a kid. My brother took my goldfish out of its tank one time and laid it on a CD to show our babysitter. How much stuff do babysitters just... Every time you have a babysitter, it's just fucking show and tell. I showed my babysitter every single thing in my room. Hey, you want to see my, hey, you want to see my, hey, you want to see my Buzz Lightyear toy? She's probably like, Jesus Christ. I just want to talk on the phone with my boyfriend. That's all babysitters do.

Just say, oh my God, that's so cool. And then get right back on the phone with her boyfriend. Every babysitter has a boyfriend. Oh my God. They do. Every single babysitter. That's like a requirement. Okay. Are you good with kids? Not bad. All right. Are you free Saturday night? Oh, definitely. And are you banging some guy your parents don't know about? Yeah. All right. You're hired. We'll pay you 40 bucks and we'll pick you up at 10. Sounds good. Okay. Let's go back to it. My brother took a goldfish out of its tank One time and laid it on a CD To show our babysitter

And then just put the CD down In my room and never put the fish Back in the tank and it died I will never forgive him The CD though I wonder what CD that was i want to know so bad what cd that was more than more than anything else in the story what cd was it like what cd was he just like walking like you know he like looked at the cds and he was like ah this one's good it's like katie perry with us with a goldfish laying on the outside.

This is... Hold on. He's doing it again! Here we go. Just walking down the hall with a goldfish on a CD. Kind of spinning and snapping his fingers in the hallway, like making sure the goldfish doesn't come off the CD. What's the babysitter?

Caitlin! Want to see our fish? And Mara's like, that's not yours. It's mine. It's ours. Mom bought it for us. No, it's not. Slides into the room where the babysitter is with just socks on shows a babysitter

she's like cool is it dead though okay that song is a heater dude i always like listen i always find songs that like are hidden gems during this podcast and i always add them to my library and then listen to them on the way home and i'm so into it it's so annoying like i'll be listening to this on the way to my apartment walking like in the street and then the next day when I'm working out too but that's none of your business okay this is good this is really fun so far all right here we go next one psycho stuff your siblings did when you were younger my brother eight years old this is car harder my brother eight years older empties our beanbag chairs

and put me in them and then rolled me down the stairs sounds kind of fun he also told me i had an adopted sister they hated, Francesca. Wow, yeah, that's such a name you make up for someone that's imaginary. So they killed her and buried her under the sycamore tree out back because she was annoying. Wow, how do you know it was a sycamore tree? He's actually psycho for that, and that's it. Why? Kids are so evil.

I remember to my little cousin, bro, me and my older cousin would tell my younger cousin that we were aliens going to kill him at night every single night to like make him cry. Every night we just acted like he was going to get abducted and we would just try to scare the living shit out of him. Why? Evil, dude. Emptied our beanbag chairs, put me in them, and then ruled me down the stairs. And how come it seems like kids can't get hurt?

You know? You know when you see a dog just smash its back and legs and then just run out of there, and you're like, how did you not get hurt? That's the same as kids. Like a dog will straight up slam into a door and be like hey what's up i'm still good that's everyone's little cousin you're like oh okay but when you when you make your cousin cry you're like shut up shut the fuck up shut up oh my god isn't the weirdest thing when like and your aunt's got a like cover for you Like when you like when you make your little cousin cry and they're like crying for real and your aunt like finds out you're like

Oh shit, like i'm this is so awkward but then sometimes your aunt like has your back and your aunt's like Quit being such a wuss. He didn't even do anything and you're like wow And she's not even my godmother that's real shit that's what's up that's a real ass aunt all right psycho stuff your siblings did to you when you're a kid karsten krauss 44 sister wanted so badly to get into my room she broke the door off the wall just because I scared her. What is it about scaring your brothers and sisters that is just the pinnacle of your life? God, why is it so funny to just see somebody,

ah! And like if they're cool with it, if someone can get super scared and be cool after it, like I love people like that. But can get super scared and be cool after it like i love people like that but if somebody gets scared and then gets mad you're like what a bitch like is how like imagine getting the shit scared out of you ah and then being like you're mean like dude you're a bitch two times in a row you're a bitch twice in 10 seconds like you gotta at least be like haha you got me like inside maybe a little pissed but you You're a bitch two times in a row? You're a bitch twice in ten seconds.

Like, you gotta at least be like, ha ha, you got me. Like, inside, maybe a little pissed, but you gotta play it off like, alright, dude, like, nice. Okay, here we go. Wow, this is gonna be crazy. This is a big story.

Psycho stuff your siblings did to you when you were kids. Elma Shaylis. Yeah. Around six or seven years old, I was terrified of the Black Sabbath song, Iron Man. Literally scared the shit out of me when it would come on. Black Sabbath song, Iron Man?

I can't wait. What the hell could this be? Black Sabbath, Iron Man. Oh my god, dude. This is gonna gonna be so being scared of this song terrified i gotta play the real version because i was like how come every time you play a song on youtube it's like the first thing that comes up is always like the live version live versions of songs suck i'm saying it have you ever heard anything live that was like that was magical no you ever download something like you're like

finally i downloaded this song and it's a live performance you're like this song terrified mom This song. Terrified. Mom? This is actually... Okay, I get it. I do get it. I am Iron Man. Alright, that was the scariest thing I've ever heard.

I get it. Like, if you're a kid, I'd be like, this is a lot, this is a lot. Mom, don't turn it off! No! I can just imagine him in his room, burying his head in his pillows. No! No!

pillows. Dude, this song is actually terrifying now that I think about it. I've never thought of it. Yeah, it's like an evil nursery rhyme. Oh, I'm scared of the song now. Amen. it's like an evil nursery rhyme oh i'm scared of the song now amen you know it's still kind of handsome too like when he hears it he's like yeah so what's up like it plays in the car it plays like when he's at the drive-thru it's like the music's real soft he's like can i have one uh cheesy gordita crunch like excuse me they're like uh and uh the cinnamon twist so fried so fried okay but what did he even say wow around six or seven years old i

was terrified of the black Sabbath song Iron Man. Literally scared the shit out of me when it would come on. One night, parents were gone. My sister and her best friend shut off all the lights in the house with the breaker, with the breaker.

Dude, evil ass girls. God damn it. How much fun would that be on their end? Get the breaker and really fuck them up. Dude, girls don't even, how'd they know? I don't even know how to work a breaker. Those girls were like, wait till mom leaves. Okay, they turn the lights off in the house with the breaker, put sheets on, turned on the song, surround sound, and chase me around the house like ghosts.

That's such a plan. Like, how bored were they, though? Hey, guys, get boyfriends. Tables turned when I jumped on a rocking chair, rocked into her face, standing behind it, facing me and busted her nose. Still can't listen to that song when it comes on. See,

that's what would happen to me. That's exactly what would happen to me. But I'd get in trouble for hurting my sister. If I broke her nose, they'd be like, you broke her nose. And I'd be like, yeah,

but the thing is, they'd be like, no, you broke her nose. And I'd be like, broke her nose and i'd be like yeah but the thing is they'd be like no you broke her nose i'd be like oh my god like do you even know that i was protecting myself from harm and danger do you even know i was going to die you broke her nose oh i can't believe this i need to i need to take a break or something. Turn on some music. Oh my God, dude. What a song. Imagine them making that song.

You know, like half the time they're making that song, they're like, this is so stupid. And then the other half of them was like, yeah, but if it works out, me during every video I make. What a fucking song. Wow. I'm terrified of that song.

J-S-S-D-N-N-M-L-L-R. How do you, when someone's like, hey, what's what's your Instagram Like what do you say when your name is that You're just like let me type it in your phone If your Instagram name isn't your exact name I have no clue Okay Psycho stuff your siblings did to you When you were a kid

I hated cheese as a kid And when I was five my sisters convinced me i'd turn green if i didn't eat cheese and pin me down and force fed me a craft single i hated cheese as a kid what kid hated cheese though i'd turn green fed me a craft single You know how much she probably loves cheese now though She's like why did I ever treat you like that cheese Every time she sees a Kraft single She's like I'm sorry

Girls and cheese Name a better duo Girls and cheese Alright here we go Ashlena Ashlena underscore Clark psycho stuff

your siblings did to you when you were a kid my brother made me put on a helmet and puffy coat and take off running while he shot after me with his paintball gun

my sisters would do this to me too They'd be like alright put on all this shit And we're just gonna kick this ball at your face And I'd be like alright And then I'd get to do it back to you guys And they'd be like yeah for sure And then we'd play

I'm still good I'm good We can keep going Alright now it's my turn to kick And I look back and they're inside eating dinner. Every single time I played a game with my sisters. They'd be like, I don't feel like playing anymore. Every time it was their turn to like be on the short end of the stick. I'd be like, God.

Alright. Young Meg 17. Psycho stuff your siblings did to you when you were a kid. Tom pinned me down and shaved my eyebrows off one time. That's like, that's, you're getting grounded. Like, damn. Also zipped me up in a suitcase and tried to ship me to China. Dude.

That's so funny. The second one. Like what address was he? What specific address was he? Hong Kong. Ship me to China. Did he just like set her out by the mailbox? Mulan's house.

412-12 412-123 Mulan Avenue. 360 412 123 Moulin Avenue 360 125 Egg roll King number one Just in a mail truck Self ride

Okay we're still going We're still going We're still going I don't care We're still going This We're still going. I don't care. We're still going. This is so... I don't think I've ever had this much fun on a podcast. Here we go.

Crazy, crazy, crazy. All right. Psycho stuff your siblings did to you when you were a kid. This is my cousin. Okay. Adrian was on the top bunk and I was on the bottom. She would say, hey, I have a secret, but you won't be able to hear me unless you stick your

head out. Then she spit on me. Happened probably like 50 times because I was so gullible. And that's the funniest shit of all time. You know, you imagine how I would laugh forever after that, especially if it like, if that happened twice in one night, imagine how funny that was.

Like, you need, you know, when they're like, they got to be kind of quiet. So it's even funnier. Twice in one night for that. Just this sound. This sound when the spit hits her face. Hey! Adrian, oh my god!

When you say Adrian, when you're mad at somebody named Adrian, it's never Adrian. It's Adrian! Adrian! Same person, Audrey Pastel also that time when she made me reenact the JFK assassination every year on New Year's Eve with the Englishes this is so fried I always had to be JFK which meant I got hit with rubber bands on an annual basis just always JFK. Can somebody else be J- No!

Who does that for fun as kids? It's so funny. Alright guys, you know what time it is. Midnight! Happy New Year! Time to do the JFK reenactment! And finally, this is the same one.

And finally, when Anne-Marie, that's my sister, made me be the dog every time we played Pet Store. Dude, who else? Who didn't play pet store brie buyer psycho stuff your siblings did to you when you're a kid i took a knife and ran after my sister and her friends yeah that's like that's like if we're on if we're on family feud what's the number one thing that you did that was crazy to your siblings when you were growing up and your parents weren't home?

You said spit on their face. Survey says and for the Brie Byer family, you said chase him around the house with a knife survey says steve harvey dude that scream damn yeah that is the number one thing people did, though.

I never did that. And thankfully, because I would have thrown the knife and stabbed somebody in the back. All right. Tom flies 11 psycho stuff your siblings did to you when you were a kid. My brother and sister held me down on our trampoline and tickled me while my dog licked the inside of my mouth. My dog never respected me again. Held me down on a trampoline. Yeah, trampolines are like breeding grounds for psycho stuff for families to do. I promise. Brother and sister held, ew, while the dog licked the inside of my mouth.

I still don't get how people let dogs lick their mouth. And they're like, oh, give me a kiss. And I was like, I don't know. Like, I get a dog licking, like, your hand, because it's like, so much bullshit's been on your hand. It's like, yeah, dude, you're probably helping me out. But when a dog licks a person's lips, and you're like,

oh, cool. Dogs lick so reckless. You're like, will you, like, line it up? Will you aim. You're like, will you like line it up? Will you aim? Dogs are like. Like I just kissed an alien. Couple more. Couple more, I promise.

I always say I promise, but I'm a liar, baby. Lauren.Cath. Psycho stuff your siblings did to you when you were a kid. One time my brother hid in my closet dressed as Michael Myers, and when I turned off my light to go to sleep, he busted out of the closet. I'm still scared. I hate that. Damn, dude.

Closets are so weird, you know? Even if a closet's open now, to this day, I'm like, close that. Before I go to sleep, I'm like, hey, you got to sleep I'm like hey you gotta close that closet just because like I don't know somebody might walk out like to this like last night close that closet I can't sleep if a closet so if my door is open disgusting if any door is open I'm like somebody's walking out and they're gonna tap me on my shoulder. Ew. I always scare myself doing this. This podcast is going to turn into like a horror podcast. And I'm not mad.

Horror sex podcast. Who's not listening? One more. It's from Amory. When we jump on our trampoline, my brother, me, used to randomly yell out, Cat! I don't remember this at all. me used to randomly yell out cat i don't remember this at all and immediately launch at me horizontally with his arms stretched out and would just floor me every time i never knew

if when he was gonna do it so it was like traumatizing you know when a cat jumps it's like and like its arms and legs are straight out? I used to do that. Dude, I was horrible on the, I'm number one draft pick person you don't want on a trampoline. I will fuck everything up. I'll break the whole thing. I'll kill everyone on it. I swear to God. I don't know why, but it's just like a flip switches in my head.

Like they should have told me that like during football practice. Like, hey, run fast. Catch it and run fast. Like, I had a coach, like, tell me this before. Get the kickoff and run fast like Michael Myers is chasing you. They should have been like, hey, when you're on defense, pretend like you're on a trampoline. That's literally what, and I would have been like, yes, sir. Hot, hot, hot, hot. The guy's coming at me with the ball I'm like

Cat Crazy performance This kid Before he tackles you He yells cat And he had 142 tackles And 15 forced fumbles Okay okay okay

Alright let's Let's talk 15 force fumbles. Okay, okay, okay. Alright, let's talk. It's fall video. I'm wondering if I should make a shirt for that. Do you guys be down? If I made like a it's fall shirt.

Like pumpkins, boots, plaids, hot chocolate. Boyfriends. Would that be tight? I kind of think it would. But I'll think of a design. That's like part of the merch I want to put out. Alright, let's go viral. Hashtag make

anything scary not scary. I can just make anything. I can do the opposite. I can make anything not scary I can just make anything I can do the opposite I can make anything not scary terrifying like I can just look at a chair in a hallway and be like that is so weird that that's there and be scared

and get the chills just a chair normal I used to scare myself when I was a kid I used to like try to like like scare other people and like say something creepy and then my mom would always be like you're gonna scare yourself and I'd be like I already am fuck she knew every time

I said anything I'd be like and then what if he popped out of the bushes my mom would be like you're gonna scare yourself and I'd be like god damn it and everybody else would be like yeah you definitely just scared yourself and I'd be like god damn it and everybody else would be like yeah you definitely just scared yourself and i'd be like fuck and what if somebody was literally in our apartment when we got there you're gonna scare yourself god damn it she's right mommy you ruined the story she's right though i'm not gonna sleep till four and I'm gonna end up in my mom's bed with her

hashtag what I'm missing is what I'm missing god damn I lost my wallet the other day yeah but like you know when you lose your wallet and you have and like you're in the middle of something

and you realize you lost your wallet and you have to act you're in the middle of something and you realize you lost your wallet and you have to act like you didn't lose your wallet i hate that i've never been so fake when i don't know where my wallet is the most fake when i'm when i'm rifling around my bags looking for my wallet i'm such i'm such a hot-headed bitch what are you looking for i'm like nothing ha ha ha ha but in my head i'm like shut up just get a second and i find it and i'm like okay we're good i'm just looking for a couple things Found them Like why am I like the Like you know when kids are at restaurants And they like don't know what to order

What do you want Johnny And they're like I don't know Do you want mac and cheese I don't know Do you want noodles I don't know Do you just want juice I don't know That's me when I lose my wallet And I don't know. Do you just want juice? I don't know.

That's me when I lose my wallet. I don't know where it is. Hey, Ben, it's your birthday. What are you trying to do tonight, bro? Are you trying to go out? I don't know. Jesus Christ, dude. Hashtag don't tell me how to.

Hashtag don't tell me how to hashtag don't tell me how to badminton dude i don't know why but like just don't think you can beat me at badminton like what's one thing you're good at that doesn't matter at all badminton one thing you're the shit at that just doesn't have any outcome worth anything. Badminton. That's the one. That's the one. Badminton. You got a cookout?

You got a badminton net? And I'm just like sitting there like on the deck. Like I know, I obviously know there's badminton going on, but I'm not going to be like, Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, $5 if you can beat, but I'm not going to be like, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, $5 if you can beat me. I'm not going to be that guy. But if somebody starts hitting it around, peppering with the birdie,

the shuttlecock, they're really trying to get by with the name shuttlecock and P.E. Just call it a birdie. You got eighth graders calling something a shuttlecock. You're just called a birdie like you got eighth graders calling something a shuttlecock like you're that's just you're setting yourself up for failure mimi hayfling our old pe teacher it's a shuttlecock we're like like what an easy laugh

like what an easy thing we're gonna talk about for the whole week and like make jokes about but yeah if there's like badminton going on at a cookout i'm like yeah whatever oh and somebody's like yo hey does anyone want to play bad anyone want to play badminton i'll even sit out of that and be like okay a couple more a couple more minutes here a couple more minutes see if people are excited to play you know and I'm just kind of still sitting back And then once games start going And somebody's like Ben you want to play

I'm still like I'm good No I don't want to get all sweaty Come on Like I'm good no seriously Maybe in a little bit And they're like alright pussy Right when they Right when the Y under their breath

Pussy Right when they end that Y This song plays That's me getting up from the deck like when when i stand up from the like wooden deck chair with my like barbecue like plate on my lap that's me standing up this is and i'm walking to the end of the deck and they're like ha ha oh he's really gonna play and then they're like oh he's barefoot why is he that must be like just a thing he does right when i step on the grass dude and that's not a person saying this is. That's like a crow in a tree that has like a...

You know how animals can sense when something crazy is going to happen? Like when there's going to be a hurricane or something, like a bunch of elephants walk like 600 miles? That's a bird in a tree. That's a bird in a tree. And the person that's challenging me is like, that's really weird. Right when I grabbed the badminton racket. Not even from New York though.

And I get on the service line and just all the leaves turn inside out. At a cookout. Family cookout family cookout so dramatic this is this is this is every bird this is this is this is this is yeah but

that's uh don't tell me how to not that I'm passionate about that or anything hashtag give me a movie workout oh i mean come on who wrote these hashtags give me a movie workout i've never seen any movie workout why are movie workouts like what I stand for in my life give me a

give me the shittiest movie if someone's working out in it I'm in literally though if you don't even like guys if you despise males which who doesn't and a guy's working out in movie. You're kind of like, yeah,

dude, who's not getting into this. Imagine you're on a, you're watching a movie with a girl and she's like, Oh my God, I've never seen this movie. And you're like, Oh, me neither. seen this movie and you're like oh me neither and it gets to this scene and the girl you're with is just on her phone she's still kind of like she's still kind of like not into it and at this part like this is the this is the test to know whether or not the person you're with is worth a shit watch this movie and see what their reaction is during this if they're not a hundred percent in the zone and kind of sweaty not the one now imagine the girl the girl you're with when you're watching this movie at this moment at this moment gets on snapchat

how can you do anything else but watch the TV when this noise happens? Who's not dialed in after that noise? No, but like if someone's not paying attention to this scene, like if this sound's playing and someone doesn't look around, like what is, I got to find out what that is. They are. Their whole brain is made of dust. If someone isn't looking around to try to find what this is so they can watch it, they're six. There is nothing

I'm such a bitch but there's nothing That I care more about than this I wonder how many times I've brought up Rocky On this podcast I think Rocky's stuff Plays in my dad's head all day Even when he's like at the bank When my dad's on his way

When my dad's on his way to Burger King To return the Whopper Juniors that have mayo on them That right when he touches the handle On his car to go back to burger king this song he's like he's in his head is the guy that the guy at the drive-thru at the Burger King had on the headset on. He's like. It's literally down the road, two minutes away. When he hits like the main street to get to Burger King, when he's out of the neighborhood, this place. We're not indestructible. Baby, I'm gonna get that street.

I think it's unbelievable how they messed up my order for the fourth time this week. There's something no one's fighting for. What I said was on the screen Some feelings never die Him talking into the drive-thru speaker. Hey! In the Burger King, they're like, oh shit, this guy's back. And this is what he says in the speaker.

They're like, what the hell? He's back. Sir, is there something wrong with your order? And he's like, They're like, what is he talking about? What did he get? He got eight Whopper Juniors. Everything on them.

Oh, shit. And my dad heard that. And right when they look back, he's not at the drive-thru speaker anymore. He's at the delivery window. And the gates are open. And he yells this into the Burger King. And all the employees in the Burger King are like,

fuck, yeah. Then he gets home and he's like, I showed them! Who's your king now? No! I don't wanna drag you down Alright, alright, this is getting crazy

Wow, the longest podcast in the world Alright, let's do days before I kill myself Days of the week Wednesday National love people day Yeah you should You should You should

National chewing gum day We've talked about gum so much on this podcast But I'll stand by one thing that I've ever said We've talked about gum so much on this podcast, but... I'll stand by one thing that I've ever said, and I only remember this that I've ever said, is hot girls chew gum like this. What?

Whatever. Like when you're at their house, you know? When you go to a girl's house and she like has music on This is and she always has gum in and it sounds like this And you're like what's up and she's like hi like kind of excited All right, and guys that are annoying with sunglasses and goatees, they chew gum like this. 100% guarantee it every time. For real.

Yeah. They always have a plan. Alright, okay. And they always have an idea. It's like, ahhh. Alright, seriously. We could, like, buy a portable basketball hoop. We could.

We could. They're cheap. And you're like, oh my God, I don't even want to go anymore. National Cider Day. That's on Wednesday. Like, I honestly, it's good, but like I can only have like two drinks of apple cider before. I'm like, oh, it's a lot going on. I'm like, oh, it's a lot going on. I'm like, what is it?

Apple juice and apple cider, like the biggest rivals of all time. They're just not getting along, dude. I'm going to tweet that. It's going to get one like, and I think it's the most genius thing I've ever said. All right. National Black Dog Day. like and I think it's the most genius thing I've ever said alright national black dog day

I've got a black dog and he's so old listen he's so old he has to wear shoes and a diaper like I love dogs but damn dude shoes and a diaper it's literally a I love dogs, but damn, dude. Shoes and a diaper. It's literally a fucking preschooler now that it's so old.

It knows how to color a wagon red. Oh my God. I feel so bad for my dog. One time I was at my mom's and everybody's always there and shit. And my mom left and my dog like knows my mom's smell and she left. So my dog thought he was home alone, but I was there and he was doing this, you know, when you leave and you don't,

you're like, I wonder what my dog's doing. I figured it out because my dog had no clue that I was just sitting on the couch. And it just started doing this. Like a chicken. And I was like, so that's what you've been doing all these years when we leave. And I finally figured it out. When I left my dog alone in my house, I thought it like got into the fridge and like made pizza rolls. I was like, there's something going on here that I

don't know. All it did. Anyway, national hair day Dude Hair It's all we think about Hair Hair Girls especially Dude girls fix their hair

Every second It's so crazy to me Every time they talk They're like Uh huh What's up Yeah I know

It's true Seriously What I know Whatever Yeah Duh Okay Uh huh Yeah What's up Cool True Seriously What? I know Whatever Yeah Duh

Okay Uh huh Yeah What's up? Cool I know Right? Crazy

Like damn Uh huh Yeah I know Seriously Weird God that's gotta be such a bitch But like when I wear a wig for videos and stuff

I'm literally doing that too I'm like Yeah I know a wig for videos and stuff, I'm literally doing that too. I'm like, yeah, I know. Uh-huh. That's cool. What? Awesome. Whatever. National homemade cookies day.

If you make cookies and you don't bake them until they're just 70% done, you've never had sex. That's a complete fact. It says cook for 15 to 20 minutes and you cook it for any more than 12 minutes, depending on how strong your oven is,

you've never had sex. That's that. Friday. National Produce misting day. I used to love that. I used to love how they used to miss the vegetables. I'd be like, oh, they're keeping them fresh. That's awesome. Yeah. Then I figured out the only reason they do that is so they make them heavier. Of course, grocery stores. Of course. I love grocery stores,

but I knew there was something wrong with you bitches. I'm talking, I'm looking at you, Kroger. What? Yeah. That's right. I see what you're doing to those big long ass carrots. Not that I care. Or anything. National name your car day i gotta say like

kind of like one of those weird deal breakers for me if you're like if you're talking to a girl and she's like oh my god yeah cool and you're like she's cool she's cool and she's like, okay, gotta put some gas in Ruby. I'm like, like that's not, that's not going to be a total deal breaker, but I'm going to think about that a lot and be like, your car has a name. Sunday. National golf lovers day. Let's hit the links. Golf, guys.

When a guy's personality is golf, send me packing, mommy. Can't do it. Trying to hit the links. Let's get drunk. Smoke cigars. Play golf. Tea time. Wear hats. Hats. drunk, smoke cigars, play golf, tea time. D'oh.

Wear hats. Hats. Guys in golf pants. They always fit like super way too good. I'm like, and they honestly look so good. Golf pants look so good

I can't even take it anymore. Just that ass in golf pants The way they The way they like flip their foot You know Golfers Like it's To me it's just so They're like

Let's go golfing And then they hit it like They're like I can hit 400 miles And then they hit it like this and then hit it like this. That foot thing. I crushed it!

National Vodka Day Sunday. First time you drank it was vodka Promise First drink What was that Vodka McCormick's I was such a bitch in high school Somebody was like did you have the McCormick's Are you bringing the McCormick's And I was like who's McCormick

I said that I think they're still at the house party I was at still laughing They never left Alright y'all Shot 126 Shot 126 It was fun Thanks for the DMs

There's still a lot more We'll probably do them next week Thanks for listening Remember to subscribe, rate, and review because it really does help. We're going to be coming out with merchandise soon. We got shows coming up. It's kind of popping.

But always thank you for listening. Thank you for your support, for your likes and comments and stuff. I know it sounds weird me saying that, but it's kind of my whole life. So, thank you guys i don't know why i feel like pouring my heart out after every podcast episode but i'm dead ass serious when you guys listen to this and like tweet about it and comment about it and post about it like

it's so tied to me that you guys can feel this vibe but all right yo okay i'll talk to you guys next week shout Shout 126. Thanks for listening. All right, fam.