Espresso - random famous crushes

Episode Date: September 24, 2020

This week Ben answers DM's about random famous people you guys wanna bang, for example ABE ᶠᵘᶜᵏⁱⁿ LINCOLN and he discovers that girls with motherly qualities HiT DifFeRent ... ehem. Ben also reveals his wildcard childhood love is the ugliest person from the spice girls. He dives into how your entire flirt game is from Disney movies WHOOPS and realizes for the 17th episode in a row that he's ... the sweetest man ... INTHEWORLD. He goes #Viral and does #DaysOfTheWeek but you already knew that 😉 𝘿𝙈 𝙤𝙧 𝙏𝙬𝙚𝙚𝙩 𝘼𝙉𝙔 𝙦𝙪𝙚𝙨𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣𝙨 𝙛𝙤𝙧 𝘽𝙚𝙣 𝙩𝙤 𝙖𝙣𝙨𝙬𝙚𝙧 𝙤𝙣 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙥𝙤𝙙 ! >>>> 𝗗𝗼𝗻'𝘁 𝗙𝗼𝗿𝗴𝗲𝘁 𝗧𝗼 𝗥𝗮𝘁𝗲 & 𝗥𝗲𝘃𝗶𝗲𝘄! <<<<< 𝗨𝗽𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗦𝗵𝗼𝘄𝘀: THIS Fri & Sat https://www.eventbrite.com/e/guttys-presents-ray-hensley-tickets-116805613735 𝗣𝗲𝗿𝘀𝗼𝗻𝗮𝗹 𝗦𝗵𝗼𝘂𝘁𝗼𝘂𝘁𝘀: https://v.cameo.com/E48BXekQ29 𝗧𝗶𝗸𝗧𝗼𝗸: https://www.tiktok.com/@benedictpolizzi?source=h5_m 𝗬𝗼𝘂𝗧𝘂𝗯𝗲: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCXRwNZpU67AK24r5QGfIfCw 𝗜𝗻𝘀𝘁𝗮𝗴𝗿𝗮𝗺: https://www.instagram.com/benedictpolizzi/ 𝗧𝘄𝗶𝘁𝘁𝗲𝗿: https://twitter.com/benedictpolizzi

Shot 125 My ass after I eat anything Right after I see a cup of coffee, this is the way my ass sounds He is Gasman. At all times, he is the gassiest man in the world. He's talking burps. He's talking everything.

He's Gasman. There's a problem? He'll puff his way over to ya Oh my god Shot 125 and we're back in the haunted studio What's up fam? Yeah dude last week on shot 124 at Near The End, your boy kind of spooked. But it's okay, we're back and we're facing our fears.

You got to live in your fear. So I'm back in this haunted studio getting the chills every five minutes. What's up? Espresso Podcast Shot 125. I'm your host, Ben Polizzi. The gassiest man. He's not the gassiest man. No, no, he can't be the gassiest man. No, that's not him. He's actually, you know, the more that I think about it, he's the gassiest man in the world. We actually had this kid growing up, his name, and we nicknamed him Gass man just because he smelled so weird he smelled like like an old

house you know like you always got a friend that like their house kind of has a smell and it always kind of smells like right when you walk into goodwill you're like all right guess we're at scott's like if you're blindfolded and you went to three of your friends houses you'd be like that's craigs that's uh that's brian, and that's Goodwill or Scott's. I hate when you guys can hear my throat during this podcast. I'm like thinking between two thoughts. Everything's quiet, and I'm like... I try to like silence it, but it never works out.

And I'm like, I hope nobody heard that. There's an actual amphibian in my throat. I'm like, anyway, National Barbecue Day. That's so weird. So we got a good show. We got a good show. I put a question on Instagram. Famous people you have a croche on and have no idea why.

I don't know why I said croche. I said croche. Oh, my God. Can you believe I just said croche? Oh, my God. How stupid am I? Now that I'm 100% smarter, the word is croche on and have no idea why. I don't know why I said croche. I said croche. Oh my God. Can you believe I just said croche? Oh my God. How stupid am I? Now that I'm a hundred percent smarter, the word is crush. Crush. I'm so silly. Famous people you have a crush on and have no idea why. A lot of people hit me up. It was good. It was good. It was good. We'll get into it and then normal stuff but first fam we got shows this weekend your boy's booked booked benny gutty's comedy club in greenwood this friday

and saturday one show each night starts at eight doors open at seven it's downtown greenwood it'll be cool i'm hosting for ray hensley he's recording his album so it's about to be fire um yeah so come through i'll post the link on instagram all right so let's get into it dude we had uh weirdest crushes or most random crushes and i got a lot of dms because you guys are weird as shit with these i saw a couple like you know you like look at your dms and you can see the preview of a d. Dude, somebody sent one that said Abraham and I was like, please be Lincoln. Please be Lincoln. Imagine having a crush on Abraham Lincoln. That's the dumbest crush I've ever heard. He's so sexy.

He's not, he's on the penny. You can't be hot and be worth a cent. Dude, Abraham Lincoln's face is the scariest face of all time. Okay. Who do you want to bang? Abraham Lincoln? All right, I'm doing it. I'm doing it. Here we go.

First one. First one. Weirdest, most random crush that you have no idea why oh my god she said abraham lincoln dude she wasn't kidding abigail huber underscore weirdest most random crushes and you have no idea why abraham lincoln l-o-m-l not only her crush dude the love of her life she doesn't have any money like no money all her money's just in pennies i love him that'll be be $17.99. She slides $20 with the pennies over every time she has to pay.

Just a second. Abe Lincoln. Why? He looks like a werewolf. Dude, why Abraham Lincoln? Modern day Abe Lincoln, dude. He looks like somebody standing outside a Starbucks. Low-key looks like Bill Nye a little bit. Does he looks like somebody standing outside of Starbucks low key looks like Bill Nye a little bit does he look like me?

Abe Lincoln just cause he's sitting in that big ass chair all confident that's why I'm jealous dude I'm jealous of Abe Lincoln never thought I would although it was super hard When you used to smash those pennies on railroad tracks

Remember that? Did your grandpa ever do that with you? You like Your grandpa ever smashed some Like put some pennies on a railroad track And then you like The train goes by And you go back to the railroad track

And they're all like They look like They look like margarita pizza from Whole Foods Like the cheese Like when you get a really Italian pizza And you like You think it's just gonna be a normal pizza They look like margarita pizza from Whole Foods. Like when you get a really Italian pizza and you think it's just going to be a normal pizza and you get the pizza and the cheese is in big circles. You're like, what the fuck? That's the shape of the pennies after a train runs over them. Margarita pizza.

Mozzarella and margarita pizza. Okay. Most random crush. Brandon CB14. Topanga no cap. Lil mama had WAP. Ew. How do you know that, bro?

Yeah, Topanga was like so hot that I don't even know if I like even considered her. She was just out of everyone's league, league honestly except Corey's little nerd ass can you imagine them liking each other that would happen you know like the hottest girl of the century just like some guy you're like god damn it like Corey was cool but no he wasn't what was cool about him he like reasoned with people and was like he like had okay logic there's nothing cool about him he was just mr feeney's little like suck up how curly was his hair how curly you've never seen any white guy with that curly hair ever front to back was just a jungle god i'm jealous of cory matthews he's the most jealous man in the world yeah topanga so would just like that guy you know just like like a normal guy that's just like super sweet and super loyal i get it topanga was so Like her name She was hot and her name was Topanga

Like you'll never forget her They did that on purpose If her name was just like Fran or something It'd be like yeah but why But Topanga You can't even like Topanga's such a high profile

Like hot girl name You can't even name your daughter that Cause she has to live up to the expectation Low key though Topanga kinda reminded me of Miss Piggy for some reason okay famous people you think are hot and have no idea why Tia and Tamara Mowry Danica McKellar Phoebe Cates this is from Ray Hensley god dude gave me four girls somebody needs to have sex tia and tamara maury who the hell are these people tia and tamara maury oh sister sister yeah they were fine they like set the standard Oh, Sister Sister.

Yeah, they were fine. They like set the standard. They set the standard for hot sisters. Sister Sister! But I never wanted to watch this show. I was always like, it's a good idea and I like it, but I don't give a shit. Ray Hensley. Ray Hensley coming in with some wild cards.

That's what we like! That's what we like in the fam We like wild card hotties I'm not calling this espresso anymore It's just called wild card hotties That sounds like a weird Vegas strip club Okay Alright

Austin Allfit Velma from Scooby Doo See Now we're talking Velma from Scooby-Doo. See, now we're talking. Velma from Scooby-Doo. Velma is like the definition of wildcard cutie. And she was cool and she was like the not in the spotlight like Daphne, you know? Daphne was just such the hot bitch. But Velma was like, probably way cooler. She just kept losing her damn glasses. Do you remember that?

Get some contacts, Velma! But Daphne, Daphne was kind of my girl. Imagine hunting for a ghost with Daphne. It'd be like, we're not getting anything done. That's like doing anything with anyone attractive. Like, how could you...

Have you ever studied or done anything that you need to work on with somebody that you kind of think is hot? Dude, you don't do anything. Why would I even try? Never works. Okay.

In Bakes 3. Jamie Lynn Spears until she had to leave Zoe 101 because she was pregnant. It's like 100% correct. Was she hot? Well, she got pregnant, so obviously. And she had to quit the show. She's so hot, she had to quit. In Bakes 3. Good call. So hot, she had to quit. NBakes 3.

Good call. So hot she had to quit. Actually, yeah, we're going to have to cast somebody less hot because she's so hot she actually got pregnant. Weird. Victoria Page. Danny Phantom. Danny Phantom.

God, people being turned on by cartoons. Why doesn't it get old? Danny Phantom God people being turned on by cartoons why doesn't it get old Danny Phantom yeah dude's hot white hair green eyes who's not you know who's not attracted to Danny Phantom dude spandex suit

great eyebrows he's in love with Danny Phantom the name who doesn't think Danny Phantom's hot you're homophobic if you don't think Danny Phantom's hot okay famous people you think are hot but don't know why Matt Shoemaker Jennifer Aniston but don't know why. Matt Shoemaker. Jennifer Aniston.

I mean, she's just kind of like the all-American mom, you know? She kind of reminds me of my mom sometimes. So when everybody's like, oh, Jennifer Aniston's so hot, I'm like, oh, she made me spaghetti and chicken last night. No, she looks good, though. It's weird that I just said all that and then said that, but she looks good. That's not's weird that I just said all that and then said that, but she looks good. That's not too weird to think she's hot.

She just looks good, yeah, whatever. I picture seeing her at a jazz festival and being like, yeah. Like the most normal thing. Here we go. Famous people you think are hot and have no idea why kiss from de rose mark maron with periods in between it so she's dead ass serious mark maron i don't know why but i love that old ass mean man that is so weird dude girls like guys for the weirdest reasons and he kind of looks like Abe Lincoln. Famous people you think are hot for some weird reason. This is Taylor.

Taylor F-A-Y-E. Vince Vaughn. But that's not random because he's nice and meaty. Meaty. Meaty. Why do you like him? He's meaty. Describe do you like him? He's meaty Describe why you like him Great personality

Great style Really Very honest Loyal And he kind of reminds me of a T-bone steak And he You know he just has the qualities of a ribeye

New York strip down and let me lick the A1 off ya No, he's just like, yeah, he's just really thick And succulent Meaty Says it Okay, here we go Tony Hogan Famous people you have a crush on have no idea why it's definitely Brittany Wagner from last chance you the teacher something about her southern accent motherly

qualities I'm just like damn I know exactly who you're talking about and yeah I've seen that somehow but yeah any girl that possesses like a wifey quality, like even though guys are like, uh, like guys like me that are like, I don't ever want to get married. But like, if you're a girl and you're like something about you is like motherly, I don't know what that is. Like no part of me is ready to get married. But when girls are like Yeah I'll uh

I'll make you dinner You're like I love you Like you can be the funnest like Girl of all time that's like Let's do it let's party let's party. Let's go out. Let's go. Let's go.

Me and my girls, let's dance. But the second she's like, I think I want to make us some chicken parm. You're like, I think I want to marry you, marry you, marry you. Or maybe I'm just the hungriest man in the world. For real. You're like, hey, what's up? You want to get some food later? She's like, no, I'm just the hungriest man in the world. For real. You're like, hey, what's up? You want to get some food later? She's like, nah, I'm good.

You're like, whoa. Why not? She's like, I can just make food here. Right after the R in here. I can just make food here. Right before the R. right before they are. No!

He's doing it again! He's doing it again! He's the copyright cat! No, seriously, right when? Right when? We can just like make food Yeah Hey baby I think I wanna marry you

Right when No right When a girl puts on glasses for the night Is it the look in your eyes Right when a girl puts on glasses for the night. Is it the look in your eyes? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Right when a girl puts on any baseball hat. I think I wanna marry you. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.

Oh shit. Ha ha ha ha ha ha. marry you oh oh god okay when a girl's like i could do this for 40 minutes and you're like i know you can just stop. But I'm like, no. Okay. One more, one more, one more, one more, one more, one more, one more, one more, one more, one more. I don't even know. Like, I don't even know like what it would be. I can't even think of anything else.

Let's see. When a girl's out in the sun too long and she starts to get freckles. I think I want to marry you. Just because of that. Hey, baby. My favorite hockey player is Mario Lemieux. Hey, baby. I really like Mario Lemieux.

All right. I'm done. I'm done, I'm done, I'm done. When a girl makes eye contact with you. I think I wanna marry you. I think I wanna Mario Lemieux. When a girl says your name, and you don't think she knows your name, but she says your name anyway. I wanna marry you. No, I'm done for real. What were we even talking about?

Okay, let's keep going. Famous people you think are hot and have no idea why. Alicia Silverstone, 5th grade, 1995. What does Alicia Silverstone look like What a famous name You guys gotta stop sending me pictures of hot girls It doesn't make any sense It's supposed to be people you don't know why Here we go

NC Link Scales 89 Weird weirdest name of all time I'm man enough to admit that I had a crush on Max from an extremely goofy movie when I was 10 Max was cool baggy pants laid-back dude I get it that's that's that's... I'm not talking about... We don't have to do all cartoon characters, but it's funny. That's what I'm talking about. But low-key, Powerline? Powerline was hot.

Just saying. Powerline was hot. Powerline was hot. Like, I could go up to my dad and be like, Yo, dad, is Powerline hot? He'd be like, yeah, he's pretty hot. I and be like yo dad is power line hot he'd be like yeah he's pretty hot I'd be like yo dad I'd go up to my dad's like car and knock on the window I'd be like yo dad is power line hot and he'd roll the window down and just be this some people settle for the typical thing I'd be like yo dad is power line hot and he'd be like

living all their lives waiting who's power line I'd be like, yo, dad, is Powerline hot? And he'd be like, Who's Powerline? He's literally listening to this song. He's okay, I guess. We're like singing it together outside of a car window on Mass Ave And then we're like yeah he's okay I mean whatever Okay Famous people you have a crush on you have no idea why

This is from say 284 John Claude Van Damme Used to carry a picture of him in my wallet like a creep Dude you know you really like somebody When you carry something Like a picture of them in your wallet That's reserved for like

Loved ones only Wallet pictures are like for your actual kids Like I love these people She just had a picture of like A fighting movie star in there. That's like if somebody's like, can I see your ID? And I open my wallet and there's just, like, four pictures of Arnold Schwarzenegger as the Terminator. You're, like, shuffling, like, fumbling around a bunch of, like, cards and stuff.

This is, like, Rocky, Rocky, Terminator, Terminator, Rocky, Rocky, Terminator. Then all of a sudden there's, like, a picture of a power line. You're like, oh Rocky, Terminator, Terminator, Rocky, Rocky, Terminator. Then all of a sudden, there's a picture of a power line. You're like, just a sec, officer. Okay. A couple more. A couple more. This is Ellen Bullard. Ellen Bullard. Famous people

you think are hot and you have no idea why. Katherine Heigl. Is that how you say that? Who the hell is that? Katherine Heigl. Could be Heigl. She's on like Grey's Anatomy, knocked up, 27 dresses. It's like one of those actresses that like, you're like watching a movie and they like

pop up on the screen like in the first couple minutes and you're like, whatever. Like this girl's really, she's the main character girl. And like halfway through the movie, you're like're like damn she kind of does look good and then at the end of the movie you're like i already have magazine pictures of her all over your bedroom door you're like oh she's okay you like become obsessed with people in movies because you're just looking at their face for so long that happened to me with a cat woman in batman i was like whatever this whatever this whatever and like at the end of the movie i had a cat woman mask on the whole time sitting there what's up yeah she was an okay actor all right famous people you think are hot and have no idea why. This is from shana.k27. She said, Malcolm in the middle.

That is a good one. That's what I'm talking about. He's just like a normal guy. Malcolm in the middle. Oh, God, he gets me going. Now, if she would have said, like, Dewey or something, that would have been like, oh, you're crazy. Okay, this is from Shelbs.grant

As a kid like elementary school I literally thought Country singer Alan Jackson was so handsome What the fuck is that Alan Jackson's like a I'm looking at a picture of him right now He's got a blonde mustache In third grade you thought this guy was hot What's wrong with everyone I guess like the first crush I ever had real time Right now he's got a blonde mustache. In third grade, you thought this guy was hot?

What's wrong with everyone? I guess the first crush I ever had real time, first crush I ever had was Ginger Spice. For some reason, my dad let me and my cousins rent Spice World. Oh my God, so stupid. But for some reason, thought ginger spice was it. I could not stop thinking about it for like four days. You know when you think somebody's so attractive you can't even like sleep about it?

That was me and ginger spice. I'm going to look at a picture of her right now and see like what was I thinking ginger spice eww I could not stop though I was like ginger spice this is the only thing that went through my head when I was growing up every day

every time I wasn't talking this was going through my head that's how I hiccup talking, this was going through my head. That's how I hiccuped when I was a kid. So in love with ginger spice when I was a kid, this is how I hiccuped. Stop. Like, oh God, I drank that Dr. Pepper way too fast. What do you mean?

You okay? I just needed to hold on. I got to hold my breath. I can't do any more. That's me right when the hiccups are over. When you stretch in the morning. You put your arms down? I didn't even like, like, Sporty Spice, you know?

She's, like, the number one pick in Spice Girls. I was like, Ginger. Ginger's definitely, like, last. Ginger Spice literally kept me up at night. If you wanna get with me, better make it fast. Alright. Ginger Spice. Okay, here we go. Megan Gifford.

Famous people you think are hot for no reason. My girlfriend had a crush on Thomas O'Malley from Aristocrats. What is this? Thomas O'Malley. Arista. Who on earth is this? Oh my god, the cat? He's really just a big

cat. I thought it was like a guy that played Like in the In the like theatrical aristocrats Like the lead Like how would you ever know She's really talking about a cartoon cat I guess that's like thinking like Simba's hot Or something

Which makes complete sense Cause Nala When she was blinking those eyes During Can you feel the love tonight it's literally a lion and i'm like yeah she's sexy seriously that scene though can you feel the love tonight what about that whole soundtrack for Lion King? I can see what's happening. What?

And they don't have a clue. Who? Dude, why is the pig so damn clueless? I can see what's happening. What? Oh, my God. I can see what's happening. What? Oh My god, I Can see what's happening what? My grandma every time every time I said anything to my grandma growing up even though she heard it perfectly clear. Hey ma

I'm gonna go outside What? outside What? I'm gonna go outside. What literally two inches away from her ear. I'm gonna go outside And this oh All right, all right seriously though all in love and here's the bottom line our trios down to two oh this I'm gonna go outside. I said oh Our trio's down to two. Oh. Ha ha ha! I'm gonna go outside, I said.

Oh. The sweet caress of twilight. There's magic everywhere. How about Disney movies just shaping the way you flirt? How about Disney movies just shaping the way you flirt? How about Disney movies just shaping the way you flirt? With all this romantic atmosphere. With all this romantic atmosphere.

With all this romantic atmosphere disasters in the air that's me at the end that's me at the end of that verse not the guy singing just this little noise you hear that that's me and it's not like through a little like trombone like flute thing made out of wood it's just me going god i hate every time any time i like anyone it's just fucking Simba and Nala. I think every time I am crushing, I think I walk on all fours too. And I just nestle my nose into their neck.

Just creeping around, smelling stuff. Nestling noses. I'm a fucking lion. Okay. Guess I'm a lion. You telling the truth? I'm a lion. Oh, God, Josephine.

All its living things This is me every time I fall in love. Oh my god! Oh my god, I'm gonna cry. The truth about my past? Impossible. The truth about my past impossible the truth about my past and not taking anything seriously ever impossible she turned away from me he's holding back he's hiding but what i can't decide god am i simba God, am I Simba?

Dude, I gotta stop listening to this before I literally never sleep again. God, if a girl sang that to me, I would never be the same. Yimmy, yimmy, baba. I just want to be the guy in the background. But if I move, I'm away. Yimmy, yimmy, baba. Alright, I gotta stop. I gotta stop. I gotta stop.

Oh my god, but that Thomas O'Malley aristocrats? People you have a crush on have no idea why a cartoon cat dude why is that so funny all right that's cool yeah you guys think weird people are hot that's good that's good that's good that we all do and i don't feel as bad anymore i think it's weird honestly when when people don't have a boyfriend or girlfriend in their whole lives that wasn't like a wild card hottie somebody you're like i don't know but yeah that's your wild card hottie that person you're thinking of right now that you're like yeah i don't know but for some reason. Wildcard hotties. All right, let's go viral.

Vi-vi-vi-vi-viral. Hashtag my identity in four words. My identity in four words. The sweetest man in the world. Like that was one word. The sweetest man in the world Like that was one word The sweetest man in the world Hashtag Times I should have stayed in bed Never

There's never been one time in my life Where I'm like I'm glad I stayed in bed For an extra three and a half hours But why does it feel so good Hashtag reasons to run away. God, when I was a kid, I used to fake run away all the time. I'd get upset with my mom and dad, and I'd be like, I'm running away. And I'd just go under the slide by the park that was next to our house.

I'd go under the slide for seven minutes, and then I'd run home and be like, I ran away. I go on another slide for like seven minutes and then I run home and be like I ran away hashtag what I learned from pro wrestling that was definitely one of the things I couldn't watch when I was a kid pro wrestling but that makes complete sense like some people couldn't watch like Hey Arnold and stuff that doesn't make any sense

because that like teaches you stuff pro wrestling was just porn big strong guys and busty gals duking it out wrestling was so porn how weird when people have to wrestle when guys in high school have to like wrestle girls that's is that? You could literally just kick a girl's ass. Alright, Robbie, you're gonna wrestle Rebecca. Don't lose,

you pussy. And don't get hard. How couldn't you? Yeah, I'm just gonna roll around with this girl for eight minutes. What a setup for failure. Hashtag, I miss the way. Hashtag, I miss the way.

Hashtag, I miss the way deep quarantine was. Do you remember? I can't even remember i can't even remember what it was like honestly now but damn what are you doing today nothing and that was it uh if i could go back. Zero traffic. Gas was like nine cents. Oh my God. All right. Hashtag you can't scare me with. Hashtag you can't scare me with anything because I swear to God, grown up, when you have like older siblings grown up,

it doesn't matter. You're getting scared. Like they're going to scare the shit out of you no matter what. Dude, my sister used to chase me around, like, Blockbuster with, like, the horror films. Like, we'd be trying to get, like, the Rugrats movie or something. Like, my mom would be checking out, and my sister would be chasing me around with a Chucky's Bride movie, like, all around the store. I hated looking at Chucky. God, that's terrifying

Alright let's do days Let's do days Thursday Great American Pot Pie Day Great American Pot Pie Day Pot Pie Always The hottest thing you've ever eaten in your life

Pot Pie is disgusting when you think about it Pot Pie and Meatloaf are like in the same category of like things your mom schedules to make this month for dinner. I haven't eaten meat for an entire year, but I think if meatloaf was in front of me, I'd be like, I'll check it out. It's just such a weird combination.

Like what kind of meat is that? Why is there ketchup on top? And though there's celery like sprinkled on the inside who made that disaster the weirdest people eat meat actually the the people that eat meatloaf are like the people i'm friends with national restless leg awareness day God people with those legs It doesn't matter who you are If I'm sitting by you And your legs bouncing up and down Every single time I'll put my hand on your leg

And go what's wrong I swear to god And I don't care who you are If we're at a Kenny Chesney concert And you're sitting next to me and your legs bouncing I'm gonna put my hand on your knee and go, what's wrong? He's the sweetest man in the world.

I swear to God. I just can't. Because every time my leg's bouncing up and down, I'm like, I'm a psycho. I need to calm down. What am I even thinking about? So when other people are doing it, I'm like, we can fix this. Why do I become a therapist every time I see somebody's leg bouncing up and down? Oh.

Tell me your biggest fears. We're at a Ponderosa on the patio. Knees bouncing up and down. I want to know what bothers you I wanna know what's wrong with you I wanna know I like to know

like just bouncing up and down like hydraulics on a car I wanna know I like to know Saturday National Pancake Day I want to know. I'd like to know. Saturday. National Pancake Day. For a hot minute, I was stuck on Cracker Barrel pancakes with the crispy edges.

And their syrup. Oh, those fucking glass bottles of syrup at Cracker Barrel. And you pour them on the pancakes and it makes that sound. It's like... I don't know why. When I was a kid, I had so many microwavable pancakes, I can't even think about them anymore. They just didn't even taste like shit to me. And I just kept smacking them.

We went through those. I bet those are still like in my body those are like my calves i swear to god there's no way they escaped that's all i ate when i was a kid not even any good i just with syrup on them national save your photos day until like until like i started doing stuff on the internet, I had zero pictures of me. Nothing. From like third grade to like a couple years out of college, there was no pictures of me. So I was always like, I don't care.

No. Delete it. I don't want any pictures. What do I need pictures for? Zero pictures of me. There was no trace I even survived or lived. Now every five seconds I'm like, can I take a picture of me There was no trace I even survived or lived Now every five seconds I'm like Can you take a picture of me It's the most annoying man

National hunting and fishing day Fishing's weird but I get it Hunting is super weird I swear to god my family won't let me go hunting One time my neighbor tried to was like yo ben we should go hunt he's like big into hunting and we're like friends with him and he was like yo we should go hunting and i was always just like hi i don't know i just like never wanted to go ever and then one time uh i was really gonna do it because like i have no i i was

he just like kept asking and i was like okay let's go and my whole family is like absolutely not they're like 100 100 positive you're gonna shoot somebody or shoot yourself like in the ribs dude i'm so scared of guns when i see guns I freak out oh I look like I've never shot a gun if you like epitomized a person that's never shot a gun or been in a fight me now I've been in a fight now the closest thing that I have in a like a black eye for me is like my sister's like putting mascara on me when i was a kid has he had a black eye no has he had a smoky eye absolutely all right i'm starting to hear stuff again so shot 125 hey thanks for replying to that Instagram story. For real.

I love it when you guys reply. I love it when you say stuff about the podcast. I love it when you engage with me and give me feedback. It's so dope! Remember to subscribe, rate, review. We're going to have merch soon. Hot merch. We're going to have a new logo.

We're going to have new style. It's going to be dope. I can't wait. I can't wait to unveil the whole line But it's gonna be nice Yeah Remember to follow on Instagram TikTok

Cameo Twitter All at Benedict Polizzi Shows this weekend Gutty's Comedy Club in Greenwood I'm gonna host for Ray Hensley Two shows One at 8 on Friday

One at 8 on Saturday Shot 125 I'll talk to you guys next week. IFM.