Espresso - red flags u can't ignore 🚩

Episode Date: October 21, 2021

🔒 𝗷𝗼𝗶𝗻 𝗺𝘆 𝗽𝗮𝘁𝗿𝗲𝗼𝗻 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝗲𝘅𝗰𝗹𝘂𝘀𝗶𝘃𝗲 𝗽𝗼𝗱𝗰𝗮𝘀𝘁𝘀 𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙮 𝙬𝙚𝙚𝙠 (𝗼𝗻����𝘆 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗳𝗮𝗺) https://www.patreon.com/benedictpolizzi ♦️ 𝗦𝘂𝗯𝘀𝗰𝗿𝗶𝗯𝗲 𝗼𝗻 𝗬𝗼𝘂𝗧𝘂𝗯𝗲 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝗺𝗼𝗿𝗲 𝗰𝗼𝗻𝘁𝗲𝗻𝘁! https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCXRwNZpU67AK24r5QGfIfCw 🔹 𝙙𝙤𝙣'𝙩 𝙛𝙤𝙧𝙜𝙚𝙩 𝙩𝙤 𝙧𝙖𝙩𝙚 & 𝙧𝙚𝙫𝙞𝙚𝙬 ;) on this episode Ben answers the Espresso Question of the week: what's the red flag you can't ignore? (like having too many dog dick pics on IG) 86 news is BACK and James Benedict breaks down Adele's upcoming album release, Ben declares if your gf doesn't immediately pop your zits she is not your gf anymore and remembers the first time he saw the fan aisle at home depot 🔸𝗦𝗲𝗻𝗱 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗵𝗼𝗺𝗶𝗲 𝗮 𝗖𝗮𝗺𝗲𝗼 𝗳𝗿𝗼𝗺 𝗝𝗢𝗛𝗡𝗦𝗢𝗡: https://v.cameo.com/E48BXekQ29 🔹𝗧𝗶𝗸𝗧𝗼𝗸: https://www.tiktok.com/@benedictpolizzi?source=h5_m 🔸𝗜𝗻𝘀𝘁𝗮𝗴𝗿𝗮𝗺: https://www.instagram.com/benedictpolizzi/ 🔹𝗧𝘄𝗶𝘁𝘁𝗲𝗿: https://twitter.com/benedictpolizzi

Hello class. Come here. Let's sit in our reading circle. Come on. Come here. Come here. Johnny, answer yourself. Bring it in, guys. Don't be scared. Let's open our books to page 181 in the Espresso chapter. Okay? Alright. I'll start. Let's do this. Let's have a good day. Yeah. Espresso podcast Yeah That's right Yeah

I'm the teacher It's Mr. Polissi Right now I got a really tight shirt on They call me Polissi Cause you can always see my titties Through this shirt I swear to God It's white and tight Look like Under Armour Don't hate though I got skills Yeah, wills, dills, thrills you see my titties they're gonna give you the chills yeah yeah they

popping out a little bit and it's not even cold in here grab a beer have no fear sit down right here it's the podcast of the year. Yeah. What? Did that happen in your kindergarten class? How your teachers got up and rapped with some hard nipples? Whoops. Bro, it just happens. All right. I'm not cold. When I get nervous, it just happens a little bit. Not as bad as when you're going through puberty and you had that one hard nipple. Do you remember that? Maybe I was the only one.

What's up, Shot 181 Espresso Podcast. I'm your host, Ben Polizzi. We got shows coming up this weekend at Wiley's in Dayton, Ohio. Wiley's Comedy Club. Friday night, Saturday night, open up for Sean Latham. It's gonna be fun. Come out. Come out, come out. But yeah, what's good, man? Hear a lot of red flag talk on the internet uh so let's talk about it i thought i won today like if if her desktop looks like a or no no if her car looks like it just a fucking tornado

like a tornado went through a mcdonald's in her car red flag but hit me up I think that's my number one But like no no no Actually maybe it's a red flag If her car doesn't look like shit If she has a pristine Clean car Cup holders don't even have Layers

If the cup holder in her car Doesn't have four pennies in it I'm out. Complete psycho. If her mom's her best friend. Dude, any girl that has a mom that's her best friend. As a guy, that's your worst nightmare. When you're in a relationship and your girlfriend's like,

Yeah, I just hung out with my mom today. You're like, holy shit. They just talked, they just talked shit about me for two and a half hours. I met up with my mom today. I'm like, all right, I'll see you in three years. Sound good. Jesus Christ. I can't even imagine. And then when, when guys talk to their dads about the girl, he's like, Hey, what was her name again? You're like, uh, and she's like, oh yeah, well that's good. Hey, uh, what do you think if, You're like, oh. He's like, oh, yeah, well, that's good. Hey, what do you think if, can you be at the house around 3 to let the guy in to paint the deck? That's just literally it.

Holy shit. I know I'm 100% in love for real when my dad remembers the girl I'm dating's name. Dude, I've had a girlfriend for three years one time. My dad's still... Who's your little friend? No idea. I probably didn't fucking tell him either though. Real shit. I did not say anything.

My parents didn't have any idea what was going on my whole entire life. It could be like... I could be like, hey, I don't have school tomorrow. it could be like i could be like hey i don't have school tomorrow they'd be like all right i wouldn't even fucking think twice oopsies all right so uh red flags man let's get into this what's your red flag you can't ignore i said when the girl hangs out with her mom not like sometimes when a girl hangs out with her mom. Not like sometimes. When a girl hangs out with her mom sometimes, that's normal.

But, like, typically, girls I talk to, girls that I'm around, I mean, they like their moms, but they're not, like, they're like, my mom's an idiot. Like, but they still like them, you know. It's that kind of love. It's that kind of relationship. But, like, girls that are like, me and my mom are hanging out this weekend. I can't wait. Last weekend we went out to eat. that's that's weird, bro That and a red flag when when uh, when a girl likes her brother too much i'm like Growing up. There's this girl that was like

Pretty attractive not bad, but she was obsessed with her brother. I was like Like what What what do you guys do what what the hell do you guys do that you're imagine hanging out with your sister and like having the best time ever like i'll hang out with my sisters and have fun but i'm not like you know what i'm staying the night like what the fuck after like after like two good hours with one of your family members, I'm like, literally see you in four years. And that's love, baby.

If that's not love, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Okay. Let's do this. What's the red flag that you can't ignore? Here we go. Here we go. Chief Ziggy. What's the red flag you can't ignore? Here we go. Here we go. Chief Ziggy. What's the red flag

you can't ignore? The flag I can't ignore is when she talking about moving in with you and having kids and getting married the first time

you hang out with her. Oh. True? Yeah, moving too fast. That's crazy dude Get away dog Peace You can forget the to go box too Bounce

Go Go Go go go go go Married on the first date Oh yeah That's not I'm doing a really thing Is that realistic though

Is anybody that crazy To go on a date with you The first time And talk about getting married That's fucked up That's some I'm doing a really thing. Is that realistic though? Is anybody that crazy to go on the date with you the first time and talk about getting married? That's fucked up That's some shit. I would do You ever think about that like on the first time you hang out with somebody like does that is that just me who thinks about shit Like that does that cross your mind? I'm always like I probably marry you I'm always like I could probably marry you That's so fucking like kid You know how kids just think you just like It's easy to get married and shit

Like when kids like When someone there's a guy in your kindergarten class Has a girlfriend you're like they're getting married for sure Bro that's me Holy shit I don't talk about kids Cause like that's a different thing But every time I like

Hang out with a girl I'm like I wonder if I could And low key in the back of your head You're like How'd our kids look if we did I'm that bitch I'm the fuck

I'm the red flag bitch You go to my Instagram right now My profile has a fucking Proverbs 1342 in it. Whoops. Damn, I'm every bitch. I'm every bitch. It's here, high, here. Emojis that have crosses in my profile. I'm every bitch.

Check my VSCO. Who my child, my new mama, do-do-dog. Mom and dad. Dude. You don't talk about it, but you think it in your head. Facts. Hey, we could probably get married. But you're just thinking out loud. Facts Hey we could probably get married But if you Just

You're just thinking out loud That's me On a first date If If I have Two beers And I'm talking to a girl And I'm nervous

She's like So what do you do like Outside Do you like What do you do for fun Second beer And I'm like We could probably get married

What do you do for fun second beer and i'm like we could probably get married what do you like for what do you think we'd name our dog all right here we go laney hughes um what's a red flag you can't ignore if he's single and has a golden noodle specifically a female golden do, that is a red flag. Yeah, single guys with like dogs that you would only get if you had a girlfriend. You know what I mean? The ones that are like super fucking cute and shit. And the dogs that I would have right now.

Dude, this whole fucking podcast is everything i would do but um yeah if a single guy has a like a very cute dog it's just like bro bro, just go. Just go take care of yourself in the bathroom. Like, just stop it. When a guy walks, it's when girls walk those big ass dogs down the block. Like, they just don't want, and they act like

they don't want any attention at all. The dog's the size of a goddamn horse. And the girl's wearing all straight up like athletic gear. She's like, don't talk to me. The dog's like, getting in fights and shit. Don't save it. Stop cat calling me.

I'm a dog mom. Shush. Oh, there's 14 of those girls a day. And then the dog runs off and they just fucking, they can't control their dog at all. When the dog, like two dogs are like yapping at each other. I said yapping. When two dogs are barking at each other and the one girl's like playing literal tug of war with her dog. That shit's my favorite thing to watch ever.

Everybody's like, oh my god, oh my god. I'm like, put a pub cup in the middle of them? Go! Alright. Holy shit. I'm every bitch. Bitch. Come on, baby. Here we go.

Cole Tondover. What's a red flag you can't ignore? A red flag I cannot ignore. I already know this is going to be a great answer, by the way. He just fucking got into it. Let's go. This is when my girl is popping my zits everywhere I go. Like, everywhere.

Like, I get it. You want to pop my zits. I get it. You want to pick at my face. I get it. Blah, blah, blah, blah. But, babe, we're at a funeral, and we shouldn't be doing that at a funeral. It's disrespectful.

Red flag for me, for sure. She goes up to the open casket. Mmm. Mmm. Let me pray to the Lord. That was a good, that was good, man. Colton dover good shit little joke in there it hit facts but i'm every bitch because i dude when somebody has a zit on their face you gotta say something she's not your girlfriend if she's not if you if you hang out with your girlfriend for a full day full day i'm

talking about you woke up you got ready together you went to brunch you hung out a little bit you went to a park and then you went to see a movie and then you got a drink after and you're like all right babe it was great i'll see you tomorrow And you go in your bathroom and look in your mirror and you got a fucking zit right here on your nose. She's not your girlfriend. She doesn't give a shit about you, actually. Ah! That's the only time I'd get mad at my girlfriend.

Caller on the way home. What the? What the? You didn't pop this blackhead on my nose at the park park you bitch That's the kind of shit I fight about In relationships

What is this You didn't tell me I had ingrown hair On my lip The whole day It's over Why'd you guys break up Too much puss It's over. Why'd you guys break up? Too much puss.

Too much unannounced puss. He was pussy. He was a pussy. Oh my god, dude. I'm every bitch. I'm four for four on these I pop zits dog I do If I'm in a relationship

I'm popping zits I'm not letting you walk around like that Not doing it And I pop zits hard bro I'm not the guy that's like Is it Is it I don't check in when I pop zits i don't i'm not a check-in like

i'm not like one of the guys that like loosens up the skin and like when i pop zits i'm like bow it's gone it's good you got the juice now that's how you know i popped your zit if somebody's walking around and their zits has juice on it i did it it, oh my god, he went to Face by Ben, oh my god, if you got juice on your face, you know, you know what I'm talking about, like, an hour after you pop a zit, you, like, you go, you do that post-hour checkup, you look in the mirror, and you're like, how we doing, if it has juice on it, I was somewhere in the area during that pop. Oh, fucking juicy zit. This is so gross.

It's not that gross. I like talking about zits. I just know a couple of people right now that are throwing up. I'm every bitch. All right, here we go. Jay Mattinson, 21. What's a red flag you can't ignore? Hey, Ben. Red flag

I can't ignore, whether it be guy or girl, is if you're eating Cheetos or any sort of chips, rather than, you know, wiping them off with a napkin or washing your hands, you go a complete

four or five inches of your finger inside your mouth. And suck it off by making that smack noise. As well as when you're eating Chipotle or yogurt. And you're eating all of the cream on your lips while you're talking to me. And while you're finishing your meal. Just wipe it off, man. Anyways, love the show, Ben.

That guy knows This show bro That struck a chord Oh my god Dude I can't stand that I'm not gonna lie I was dating this girl one time This is so gross and weird But we got fuck this sounds so

I can't believe I'm saying this We got takeout. This isn't that weird. It's just picturing it and like shit is weird. We got takeout. Two different takeout boxes. It was like probably from like Outback Steakhouse. And this girl got ribs.

And I was like, from Indiana, of course. And I think I got, I probably, I'm a star. I'm every bitch. I probably got a salad with salmon on it. God. But we were watching TV, like sit, like I was like sitting Indian style or something on her bed. She was over here on the, we were watching something.

I don't know what it was. Maybe it was like a, I don't know what it was. It was probably a game. Actually, I know exactly what it was. It was fucking, it was the NBA game. Actually, I know exactly what it was. It was the NBA game. When the Brooklyn Nets were stacked and they had KG and Paul Pierce and they played the Heat and the Heat were stacked.

They had LeBron and Wade and Ray Allen and shit. It was the game where they had their nicknames on the back of their jerseys. It was that game. I was like, yeah, we got to watch this. And I was just looking at it. I was like, oh, it really does say the truth on the back of Paul Pierce's jersey. And then on the back of Ray Allen's, it said Jesus Shuttle. It said Shuttlesworth.

But, like, that was cool, but it didn't fit because Shuttlesworth is, like, 97 letters. And I was like, that's cool, but it didn't work. And then, like, as I was looking at KG's, I was like, what's his say? This is all I heard out of the corner of my fucking ear. Hearth? And at that moment, he knew. When something hits too hard in a relationship And it's just like a gong in your head That's what you hear after the gong

Something really weird happens This for me Hold on I gotta look this up Where's this gong I'm every bitch Oh come on bro 25 seconds of gong How come every time I look up a sound on YouTube

It's not it's like It's like 1 second of the sound Or 10 hours Who's listening to 10 hours of fucking gongs Bro My voice has never gotten that high Alright here Fucking gongs, bro. My voice has never gotten that high. All right, here.

The second, the fourth one was like, is she kidding? If she does it one more time, she's not kidding. This. And in my head, this voice came on on and that's when he knew In my head what the fuck And that's when he knew What's your gong moment next week on espresso, what's your gong moment when week on Espresso What's your gong moment When you knew bro Probably not gonna happen

Oh shit That's funny Alright let's keep going These are fucking great Great voice messages dude I really appreciate that Because it's hard Cause I know

Every time you do a voice message You gotta do like, you're crazy. You're talented if you can do it once and send it. I like that. You got to do it like three times. There's timing. There's pauses. It's going on the podcast.

Like, you can't just be like, dive down. No, yet. That's talent, bro. What's your talent? I can leave voice memos on instagram you're hired see you tomorrow dude people sending texts or messages like what are you doing here we go jay hayes jc metzger sounds like i know you maybe not though um what's your red flag you can't ignore all right my biggest red flag is when i'm talking to a girl and she doesn't want to just know like

when my birthday is but she also wants to know when like what time i was born and so from that point on like all interactions are just like i love oh my gosh that makes sense because you're like that just makes sense for your sign like and then we would totally not get along it's just no that's not that's not why yo i love the i love you guys who you guys understand this show this is the first time i felt like you guys know what the you guys know bro you guys get it oh shit you guys get it. Oh, shit. You guys get it. I've never had this moment in my life where somebody fucking, thank God you guys get it. I love you motherfuckers.

Yeah, that happened to me one time. That's happened to everybody recently. But I'm Scorpio, so every time somebody asks for my, I'm Scorpio King. So every time somebody asks for my sign, I'm like, hesitant to say it, that's my red flag, what's your sign, are you rising, how come there's, it turned into, I don't know shit about like, Zodiac stuff, but like, I just thought you had one sign, why there's like, there's like 19 that they want to know now, I'm like, what's your rising, your moon, your sign,

your favorite breadstick, and what kind of cologne did your girlfriend get you in high school? Like, rising Gemini Scorpion Kilroy's Burberry? They're like, I'm out. I can't talk to you. I'm like, all right, shit.

Sorry. Don't say sorry. Psycho. All right, here we go. Two messages in a row. I don't know if I can. right, here we go. Two messages in a row. I don't know if I can. Okay, here we go. Clay J. Seal, what's your red flag you can't ignore?

I love this, bro. A red flag that I can't ignore is an Instagram feed either entirely full of selfies or entirely full of pictures of your pet oh yeah those are big like usually i'm i'm gonna not i'm gonna be honest usually people with one of those two are older like you ever come across a girl that's like Kinda attractive In like real life You're like oh And then you look at her social media

And it's like really bad pictures of her You're like It's like the first strike for me I'm like yeah that's fucked up She's weird dude Like hello like filtered out Just pictures And it's like if it's of her dog

It's of her dog People don't her dog it's not like a cute people don't know how to take pictures of their fucking dogs dude take a cute ass picture of your dog you know what it looks like how come every girl takes a picture of their dog when it's on its back like this a red flag that i can't ignore is an Instagram feed either in time There's too many dog dicks on the internet. I don't think God

like how are you not aware? Like is that not fuck people up a little bit? Here's my dog. It's a cutie. I'm like the only thing I can see is it's stupid dick take a picture of its goddamn head preferably its mouth because dog's fucking snouts are cute as shit and then take a picture of its fucking chest too because i like that i like dog's chest just looks like they did like two and a half sets of incline and they were like take a picture of me i'm like you're ready they're a little collar but instead you're just gonna go spread eagle on my dog and post it 46 times it's so it's rude it's rude it's rude to your dog not me

think about that you like your dog? Alright Doesn't look like it Dude this is one though Red flag Girls I was looking at this girl's Instagram the other day She had 17 pictures in a row Her last 17 pictures

All with two other or three other girls I was like Hey All with two other or three other girls. I was like... Hey. Come here. Come here. Come here. Yeah, come here.

Which one are you? It's your Instagram, bro. Just name it Natalie and Friends Good lord If they talk about their ex on the first date Yeah, that's pretty like, no, no But like the whole time though, I'm thinking about saying something The whole time I'm like, I wonder if like, no, no. But like the whole time though, I'm thinking about saying something. The whole time I'm like, I wonder if I should.

No, probably not. Like it just definitely crosses my mind. I'm like, damn, I wonder if I should. I wonder if they'd be cool with me saying that. I'm every bitch. Amanda Jarstad. First name I've ever read correctly. What's the red flag you can't ignore? Red flag is for sure if a guy's house is way too neat and tidy. You definitely don't want a slob

or just a pigsty or a guy that looks like he styled, decorated with hand-me-downs from grandma or something but if you walk in and it's like marble and just nothing that guy actually wants to have sex with glass dildos and not you and he's gonna notice every errant hair and just just it's just a no don't do that did she say glass dildos where are those i dm her i'm like wait what where do you get those oh shit yeah if a guy's house is too nice, like, bro, way too weird. If you're a guy out there and your house is too nice, like, you need to get a hobby, one, and then you need to be smart. If your house is too nice, you're already a smart guy.

You're smart as shit. You're smart. So, take the smarter path and fuck some shit up a little bit before they come over. I'm a normal guy. But honestly, I have four things in my room that are from my grandma. And one's a big-ass poster. Okay, one more, and then we're bouncing. There we go.

Haley J. What's a red flag you can't ignore? A red flag for me is when they put their shoes and socks on in this order. They go sock, shoe, tie their shoe. Oh, God. And then they go to the other side and do sock, shoe, and tie that shoe. Complete psychopath. Who does that?

Who does that? Who does that? That might be a good espresso question too Like what's the psycho thing? What's your psycho tick? Where's your psycho gong go off? I don't think anybody does that bro I gotta have like It's gotta be even

Sock sock shoo shoo tie tie It's just the way the brain works Bessie. All right, let's go to viral. Viral. And by the way, the Espresso podcast is brought to you by Wave 1 Media. Media. Media.

If you want to start your own show, visit thewave1.com. Actually, we're going to do something else first. I forgot to do this at the beginning. I'm not going to lie. Hold on. I know, bro. Like, there's a lot of pressure here. Hold on.

I know, bro. There's a lot of pressure here. And good morning, everyone, for 86 News. I'm James Benedict. Adele released her first new single for the first time in the past six years over this past weekend. And it had social media heating up. I mean, this song would literally set fire to the rain. would literally set fire to the rain. She's performing her new two-hour special on November 14th, and I cannot wait because in her new music video,

I tell you what, she is looking fantastic. I think if I saw her backstage, I would have to say, Hello? And finally, finally, all jokes aside, in all seriousness, her album drops on all streaming services November 19th. And if I were

you, I would download that immediately and share it with a friend. Yeah. You know, right before you send them the album, remember to warn them, dude, you're getting a Dell. For 86 News,

I'm James Benedict. All right, let's go viral. Viral. Okay, maybe I didn't need to do that. Anyway, hashtag gets me in the feels. Damn, we got to do this in two minutes Okay Um Gets me in the feels

I don't get in my feels about the right things Like I should be sad when sad shit happens But I'm happy during the sad shit Because I want to be positive You know I trick my brain I'm at a funeral sad shit because I want to be positive. I trick my brain. I'm at a funeral. Not really that sad, TBH. I understand being sad, and I have condolences for you,

but I try to be positive during stuff like that. And like laugh. That's my reaction is to laugh. So every time me and my family have a funeral, I'm like, all respect, but this might be lit at the same time. So I don't know.

Like, I get in my feels about stuff like, I tried to have a mask sent to me last week and I got scammed on eBay and texted everybody I knew 17 times if I should buy another one. That's what I get my feels about. You know who you are. Hashtag I am the one that.

Hashtag I am the one that does not fill up the Brita. I don't care. Oh my God, who? I don't care. I don't care. Oh my god, who- I don't care. I don't care. I don't care about the Brita, and for god damn sure,

this is just me, I don't know, am I crazy? I don't care about water. Dude, I just drink water. You don't drink purified water? You're crazy. You're crazy. You're crazy. No. You're gonna get sick.

Dude, it's water. Dude, people that are all about, like, the... No, ew. Pick up a fucking hobby, bro. It's water, man. I swear to God, if I die tomorrow from drinking water from my sink, we had a good run. Like, dude, it's not that big of a deal.

Some people are crazy about that shit. No. Fuck your Brita. I said some shit about me dying. The little saw guy's going to wheel in on a tricycle. Fuck. I knew it. All right. Hashtags. Hashtags. My dad. Why did I add an S to that? Hashtag my favorite part of Sunday. None. Dude, how come every Sunday between the hours of like 9 and 11 o'clock, I just turn into a woman on her period?

Just two hours. I'm a straight up Like I'm emotional All of it I've got two hours in me on Sunday Where you just It's just like what happened Dude I'm a train wreck Between 9 and 11 don't text me

If you text me anything I'll start crying See you tomorrow If we make it that far. Hashtag my favorite department store memory. Department store. Probably hiding in that rack. Did you ever...

Am I the only one? Dude, I swear to Lord God. I need to stop saying I swear to God. Half the time I ever went to any store, I was just in the circle rack. Like this. And when somebody fucking popped open the clothes dude one time I did that shit and my mom fucking like I did it to scare like I was like my mom's probably gonna look at these shirts so I got in the center rack like so you couldn't see my feet

because there's like there's like poles and shit. And I was like in there, the clothes were all around me. I was in my, my room. My, it was kind of cozy in there. And I was like, my mom's going to like pick these clothes because these are the shirts my mom likes. The blouses. Oldest word in the world. And like right when she did that, was gonna be like bro some other lady

fucking did it and i thought it was my mom and i went extra with it and i looked like after she was like oh my god so funny i like looked to the right and i saw my mom like this and I saw my mom like this. Bro, I've never, you know, you know what a walk of shame is? Jesus, I've never had a walk of shame that bad, bro. From that clothes rack to my mom's cart. Bro, she put me in the cart

the rest of the fucking time we shopped. I think, I honestly think I was 16. My big dumb ass just in a cart. I just called myself big. My dumb ass in a cart. All limbs out of the side. And I swear to God, I saw like a girl I had a crush on. Hey, what's up, Jessica?

It's just me in a cart. Like, am I kicking my legs and shit hey the shit we did in stores when we were bored is dude the best the best store to be in when you're bored it's it's all it's almost fun to go here Home Depot Home Depot bangs when you're a kid. Are you serious? All kids want to do is touch shit? I still fuck with shit in Home Depot. You're telling me you're a mom

and you have two kids and you're walking down the doorbell aisle? You know what I'm talking about. You're're gonna tell your kids not Are you serious? Dude that's just like Letting a dog into a room full of fucking meat Are you serious bro?

Every single one There's a doorknob aisle My bitch ass The mulch aisle Beating the shit out of some Scott's Turf Builder You know what I'm saying Dude the

Chandelier aisle That's the first time I was high When I was six And I looked at the chandelier aisle That's the first time I was six And I looked at the chandelier aisle That's the first time I was under the influence of Seven drugs

Bruh I might still If my mom was like come on I might still be fucking standing there looking at a fan With like two Pieces of tape on it Bruh I might go to Home Depot After that that fan aisle I'm in I'm in all right now I might have white corners oh shit Home Depot where

you want to go for your birthday Oh Home Depot. Oh, you just want to be at your house? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Thursday. Oh, we're doing days of the week now. D-d-d-d-days of the week. Thursday. National Exhale Day.

You always know when I'm very... National Exhale Day. You always know when I'm very... That's my alarm system when I'm super like, I don't want to do this shit anymore. I do this. I get right back to what I was doing. But when I'm doing very hard tasks, I'll pass out because I do that so many times. I'll exhale 17 times.

If I'm editing a video, I'll exhale 54 times in one minute. You might as well give me the paper bag. What is that? By the way, the paper bag, when someone's nauseous. I always saw that on TV, but what does that actually do? I never saw that in real life. Who just has lunch bags with them The bus driver

They have those on airplanes too I'm like why is there a bag of french bread Why is there a french bread bag On the back of the seat Every seat What does that do Friday National Kentucky Day What does that do? Friday.

National Kentucky Day. Not me who was doing a show in Kentucky and was talking about the Midwest like they're in the Midwest because, Jesus Christ, they're, like, right there. Halfway through it, I was like, I think I know what the problem is right now. You guys are a southern state. Some girl in the crowd tried to bail me out. She was like, yeah, I always forget that we're from that region. I'm like, whoops. Saturday.

Saturday. Oh, my God. National Mole day Every lunch lady Requirement Job interview Lunch lady interview Has anyone ever seen you without a hairnet?

Do you have a mole? Okay seen you without a hairnet do you have a mole okay uh what would you say if you put this on my tray thanks honey we'll see you tomorrow oh shit lunch ladies just act like everybody's their goddamn kid see you later pumpkin butt i'm like trying to make out sunday national bologna day hey bologna is bologna still are people still eating bologna i feel like that's outlawed by like every family in the country. If you had baloney a lot as a kid, like you were weird or you spent a lot of time at your grandma's, which is okay. But typically kids that spend a lot of time at their

grandparents are weird. Baloney though, even the way it's spelled, what was that about? Yeah, I think that works. Yeah, we're done for the night. You really sent it out like that? We got something explaining it to do. All right, Tim, you're fired. Dude, bal... The baloney meeting. You sent that out? And it got approved?

That's what it's... Fuck. All right, we're just going to have to roll roll with it there's like 18 other words like that but all right that's shot 181 crazy bro it was fun shows at wiley's and dayton this weekend friday and Saturday, for Sean Latham, 22nd and 23rd. Join the fam if you want an extra pod each week. It's worth it, honestly. It's $5. Join the Patreon.

Get an extra app. And maybe something else a little sweet, too. Okay, guys. I'll talk to you guys next week. Okay, guys. I'll talk to you guys next week. Okay guys. I'll talk to you guys. I love you guys. The amount of times I say guys.

Okay. I'll talk to you next week. Alright guys. I'm just playing. I found.