Espresso - shit I don't like

Episode Date: November 10, 2020

sup? This week Ben and Comedian Ray Hensley (@RayHensleyComedy) go through the Fam's DM's about SHIT they DON'T LIKE (... like making sex sounds when you eat....) ehem... They discuss if it's okay to call a girl "dude", how often guys should use emojis and how drop dead sexy it is when dudes have 6 year old taste buds.... They breakdown the rap Ray made for a girl, discover Indian pudding then they do #DaysOfTheWeek but you already knew that 😉 𝘿𝙈 𝙤𝙧 𝙏𝙬𝙚𝙚𝙩 𝘼𝙉𝙔 𝙦𝙪𝙚𝙨𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣𝙨 𝙛𝙤𝙧 𝘽𝙚𝙣 𝙩𝙤 𝙖𝙣𝙨𝙬𝙚𝙧 𝙤𝙣 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙥𝙤𝙙 ! >>>> 𝗗𝗼𝗻'𝘁 𝗙𝗼𝗿𝗴𝗲𝘁 𝗧𝗼 𝗥𝗮𝘁𝗲 & 𝗥𝗲𝘃𝗶𝗲𝘄! <<<<< 𝗨𝗽𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗦𝗵𝗼𝘄𝘀: Wednesday 11/18: Helium Comedy Club - Indianapolis, IN Wednesday 11/25: The Caravan Comedy Club - Louisville, KY 𝗣𝗲𝗿𝘀𝗼𝗻𝗮𝗹 𝗦𝗵𝗼𝘂𝘁𝗼𝘂𝘁𝘀: https://v.cameo.com/E48BXekQ29 𝗧𝗶𝗸𝗧𝗼𝗸: https://www.tiktok.com/@benedictpolizzi?source=h5_m 𝗬𝗼𝘂𝗧𝘂𝗯𝗲: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCXRwNZpU67AK24r5QGfIfCw 𝗜𝗻𝘀𝘁𝗮𝗴𝗿𝗮𝗺: https://www.instagram.com/benedictpolizzi/ 𝗧𝘄𝗶𝘁𝘁𝗲𝗿: https://twitter.com/benedictpolizzi

The Espresso Podcast is brought to you by Wave One Media. If you want to start your own show, visit thewaveone.com. Say what again? I dare you. I double dare you, motherfucker. Say what one more goddamn time. Our special guest today is Samuel L. Jackson. Ben and Ray on the espresso pod.

Ray walked in and he was a lot fatter than normal. And I was like, oh my God. Jesus. Go, go, Jesus. Yeah, I've gotten fat. That doesn't mean anything. It's just... I'm a door-dash cat.

Yeah. The calories that I don't like. I eat nothing but sugars and carbs. You killed that. I eat nothing but sugars and carbs. I look like that big girl from Stranger Things. I think her name is Barb. Espresso shot 132. Ben Polizzi. Ray Hensley's back what's up man what up bud what up what up dude

yeah hey how's it going what you been doing you said no honestly though i didn't mean to be rude but you said you you got you got you kind of got i've been getting fatter this whole year i think why oh i what do you attribute it to? I'm not like worried about my image on stage. Cause I'm not really on stage right now. And then, and then I feel good. Yeah. I look fantastic.

I've put on the COVID-19. Instead of freshman 15. So no, I've, I've discovered DoorDash and it's just, it's just super nice to be able to order food and then have it come to your house and you like i can just sit at home doing nothing like what do you get what so by your what's by your house like steak and shakes by your house

i know that because i've dropped you off at like 4 a.m before yeah right gotten a half and half shake at steak and no i don't get stuff that's by my house like i have flick a mcdonald's a taco bell white white castle like i have all that stuff near my house so i don't get that stuff i always order stuff to where if i want to be tipping a door dasher they're going to be driving 30 minutes to get me food what do you get then like there's no panda express like near my house so I'll get Panda Express. It's like your number one. Chick-fil-A, probably.

I couldn't tell you. The last time I had Chick-fil-A. Why? I don't know. You're the only person in America that doesn't like Chick-fil-A. That's not true. I guess that is true, actually. California doesn't like Chick-fil-A, right?

They don't have them out there? No, they're out there. Are they really out there? They're crazy, yeah. I was just out in la it was good did a show you were in la all last weekend did a show with uh some guys met some new comedians it was fun how are we friends and i don't know like when you're not here you know what i mean you don't do you follow me i follow you i know when you're doing stuff you never post flyers or anything how come you're like terrible how come you're terrible with like posting like you'll post i put them on my story you'll post a story every day of you doing just

walking around downtown i saw that you voted i was like all, all right, that's cool. I don't even know that you're doing comedy. The flyer's on my story, dude. Is it really? I mean, it was when it was happening. But it went well. Good show. How many people were at the show? Probably like, it sat 40 people.

So there might be a little more there. All masked up. Temp checks. Did you perform with the mask on? Nah i think that's so weird i think the attic in bloomington makes you makes you wear a mask my whole entire personality is facial expression so i need same here like those shows that you do where there's like there's not like a good light on you so So you're just kind of like a, like a dark shadow. I always bomb those because I'm all face. Yeah. Like it's all that I am.

Just like your cry noise is the best. That's a good cry. Nobody has a cry like that. I'm going to steal. You really do it. Yeah. Just quiver lip it. That's so stupid.

But yeah, so I've discovered Doorordash and it's there's just nothing quite like spending 50 to get you a little bit of food a little bit of panda express i've never had panda express really i don't even know what it's about it's not great it's just like there's a better there's like a legit chinese restaurant like next to my food or next year next to my food are you hungry god i'm getting fat. Everything you say is just substituted with the food. Yeah yeah. Thanks for having me on your food cast. Yeah your food cast. But no yeah yeah so like I have like a legit good Chinese restaurant

like right next to my house but yet. I've never had Chinese food. I don't know the difference between japanese and chinese and korean like the food i know that like the people jesus the geography me neither yeah they're all in the same spot ish no yeah i don't know the difference between like their food right do you not at But like, sushi is not like a Chinese thing, right? Just Google this. Is sushi Chinese? I don't think it is. Sushi can be traced in numerous countries and cultures,

including Japanese, Korean, and Chinese. It's all three. All right, whatever. Check. See, Google? That's just... How awesome is Google for that, huh? I was going to ask you something about Google.

Can you tell me your most recent Google searches on your phone? I have no idea. It's just Pornhub, Pornhub, Pornhub, DoorDash, Pornhub, Pornhub. No. No, because I have the private thingy set up on it yeah you have nothing i clear them bitches constantly really yeah you clear your search history like that no i don't i don't i don't really care at all if anybody sees it so okay but you know like the iphone you have that that private thing down there here's mine what's the pro level for for a pilot that's the last thing i google search like what's like the nfl for pilots is that like pilots

private jet i think like pro pilot would be like like the air force kind of guys you know i mean the drive like the that drive the drive like the f-16s and stuff right like you think that would be like the elite of the elite, right? Elite pilots. What about like elite commercial pilot? Like Delta? It wouldn't be Delta. It would be somebody like Southwest or something like that. Or commercial, you said.

Yeah, it would be like private jets. Flying a private jet. Dude, our pilot was nice. We took off and landed and I didn't even wake up either time. Really? Yeah. When we were leaving the plane i wanted to like dap him up be like bro you've murdered that fucking landing dog like what would he have said yeah thank you for flying southwest or whatever you flew with keep it up bro

spirit you're gonna get there saying that shit to a pilot You ever have the ones where, like, you know that they know it wasn't a smooth landing? You know what I mean? Like, you bounce a couple times, maybe, and then you just, like, that brake. The brake is pushing. And you're, like, you have to push your hand, like, on the back of the seat in front of you. You're looking around a little bit, yeah. And you're just like, am I the only one, like, about to break my teeth in the back of this guy's chair? No, that's.

What do you say to him after that flight yeah you'll get him next time bud champ hit him with like a like a shoulder tag you can't win him oh after a flight that would be so funny just kill his confidence for the next flight you can't get them all champ just finger gun them snoring like on an airplane don't you like i definitely do like that one time you're just i'm up i'm up like every time you start to doze off i always notice that that like little thing and i just like look around you ever hear yourself snoring like when you're half in half out asleep like one time i heard myself snoring for like two snores and i was like wait a minute that's me and then i woke up

who the fuck is making all that noise oh that's me i always catch myself drooling like hard like i'm a huge drooler when sleeping you yeah oh man i'll cover a pillow man yeah same smothered and covered you just like uh it's like all in my beard and stuff i'm just like mother jesus why is it not just like regular water you know what i mean regular water what do you mean like dasani it's like always like slimy i don't know what it's super thin drool. All right. What else is in my Google search? I had top level pilot.

See, I don't Google stuff like that. I just use like, like my Safari thing. I don't use Google to like search stuff. I just know everything. Hmm. Just look right into the camera. Yeah. That's how I work. Dude yeah the first time somebody gave me

a light at a comedy show i thought they were taking like a boomerang of me what you know when you're like on stage and you're doing like 10 minutes and somebody lights you at nine i thought they were like taking a picture of me so i was like they're like no and i was like oh okay i just was smiling at him like not saying anything for like 30 seconds okay we got shit i don't like this week shit you don't like shit i don't like like i put it out on instagram i put out a little a little uh story what's some shit you don't like and people responded the fam responded in the dms but ray what's some shit you don't like right now anything just some shit that's bothering you oh just like oh that you

mean like black olives like i don't like that too yeah i don't know i don't black olive i hate hate black olives so hard and i also don't like uh beans like what's what's something you order that they accidentally put black olives on that you're like fuck just like some pizzas like if you're like if you like order a pizza and i don't know what's on it i'll sit there for the next 15 minutes and just pick black olives off you know what i mean i hate black olives um just in general what i don't like right now um dude capers i hate capers you know what those are what the fuck is a caper you know what a caper is like a superhero they come on like fish capers capers they're real these things immature unripened green flavor buds of caper bush that doesn't tell me what a caper is here look it's

buds off a caper bush. There. They look like peas. I had Brussels sprouts last night. You like those? I love Brussels sprouts. Why are they so good? Remember when you were a kid, they were the worst thing ever? They do have like a bad vibe to them. It's like you hit like 19 and you're just like, fuck, Brussels sprouts are good, right?

What is that age? Because you strike me as a guy that would get like a chicken sandwich and you'd be like uh plain with just cheese no i like you like all this shit i do yeah like i don't the only thing sorry yeah yeah i mean like take it back you look like the you're the kind of fat person that doesn't eat vegetables i hate that though when you're like out to eat and the person has like six-year-old taste buds oh yeah it just gets like chicken tenders my buddy mike's like that he's like i want um mcdouble no cheese no nothing on it just the bread and the meat i'm like that's boring that's weird it is who wants to eat that or do you take the crust off your

like peanut butter and jelly i've've never cared about the crust. You're not a pain in the ass like that. I like the crust. I've never been. Yeah, same here. I've never been a pain in the ass ever in my life. I like the ends of the bread. Yeah.

You like those? Yeah, I always save them. What are they called? What's the end of the bread called? I think it's called the butts. This whole podcast is just you Googling stuff and then just reading Google. I think it's called The Butts or The Ends. It's autocorrected to end of the bread.

It's autocorrected to end of the Brady Bunch. End of the Brady Bunch. It gave like the time that the season ended. Let's watch that. Yeah, yeah. End of the bread. What's the end of the bread called? It's going to be something weird, right?

Oh, my God. But also, the names people offered. The end slice of the loaf is knobby, knob, knobbler, doormat, topper, nut, end, mat topper nut end noggin ender crust butt tush bumper heely knocker or heel heel kind of sounds heel sounds better than who looks at the end of a piece of bread and goes that's a knobby that's a knocker that's a family word for sure no knocker yeah that's like your dad would be like oh you eat the knocker this time it's your turn why does it sound offensive the knocker doesn't it sound offensive like a little bit like if you're just like ah that guy looks like he eats the knockers he's like what the that's a knocker eater jeez yeah no i always uh i always save the the two end pieces

and i love those two end pieces of peanut butter and jelly fire right with a grilled cheese that'd be good too oh yeah because that gets like extra crispy and oof oof dipping that shit in tomato soup covid 19 i got that covid 19 okay brian Price shit I don't like 100% when a couple is calling each other babe and baby multiple times what do you call when you had a girlfriend what did you call her what was your nickname for her I don't know I never really had that you've had a girlfriend I've never had that serious you never girlfriend. You definitely said babe. I said babe. But every time I say babe, I always think of... The pig. No.

I always think of the movie Hot Rod. Remember Will... Have we talked about this movie? Will Forte. Is that his name? Will Forte? No, it's Will Forte, I think. The dude from...

Oh my God, what is it called? Arrested Development and stuff like that? Is that Will Forte will i've never seen anything it's not will forte i always think i don't know his name is yeah babe the pig i always think of uh every time someone says babe so i think there's a scene where uh where his girlfriend like leaves to go hang out with uh andy sandberg yeah and he's just like left by his corvette he's like babe babe babe come back babe yeah i always think of that every time i hear it no no it's all right one girl i called hun and she said i hate being called hun oh yeah i can't believe you said that. Yeah. Hun. Yeah, I don't know. That's weird.

Hey, hun. That's like you're like making, that's like calling a pilot champ. Hun. That's like condescending. Do you have, do you have something like if a girl calls you that, you like get weird about it? Uh. Buddy.

Ew, I hate that. Yeah, there's a girl that called me bro. Girl that like had a thing for called me bro. And as soon as she said that, I was like, all right, well, I've never seen this girl naked. You know what I mean? Sometimes when a girl calls me like dude,

like to say, like she's going to talk about something. She's like, dude, did you see this? I don't mind that at all. I don't mind dude at all. I call girls dude all the time. Me too. Is that weird though see this? I don't mind that at all. I don't mind dude at all. No. Because I call girls dude all the time. Me too. I'm like, dude.

Is that weird though? No, I don't think so. I dated a girl that was weird when I called her dude. Don't call me dude. I'm not your bro. Yeah. Yeah. But yeah, as soon as she called me bro or bud, I was like, all right, well, this is fucking done.

This girl recently called me buddy. Yeah. And then like the international sign from like, all right all right well this is fucking done this girl recently called me buddy yeah and then like the international sign from like all right well this is yeah this isn't we're gonna be just friends always all right bye okay marissa shit i don't like when people say after every single bite of food they eat loud eaters that's something that gets me like you know that dude who like sits there and like eats cereal and just eating a cereal and shit sometimes how dude don't you eat cereal loud though it's the loudest food of all time yeah no like captain crunch and shit like that like captain crunch is on surround sound dude i swear to god but it's it's the slurping of the milk off the spoon you know i

mean do you do it no i don't people who talk with food in their mouths and people who make sex noise while eating people do that who makes just take a bite of pizza who are you eating around fuck i'm about to cum it's like dude we've all had pizza before it's not that good right it's not that special and it's fucking little caesars this hoof on the bread the knob this knobby this knocker is gonna make me hard talking on parker stewart shit i don't like talking on speakerphone in a store yeah i hate speakerphone talkers dude right no and they can't do it yeah so jessica the other day was like tetner telling me that was the girl sitting behind me on the plane christ

nobody gives a shit you know who it always is, though. It's super loud. What? It's always women. Did you ever see like a dude on speakerphone? No chance. I can't even talk on the phone around people. Not on speakerphone. I gotta be like...

Every time we've ever talked on the phone, it's been like, hey, what are you doing tonight? All right, cool. See it. Yeah, that's it. Bang, bang. Yeah, it's get the information, get out. Dude, if somebody calls me, I leave the country. Seriously.

I drive to Cincinnati and talk to them on the phone and come right back. I can't talk on the phone around people. You ever just get a call from like somebody and you're just like, what the fuck? Every time I get a call, that's what I do. Yeah. You just look at your phone. You're just like. Just like.

It's like your mom. It's an inconvenience. like it just ruined all of your plans for the day it really does i'm like i there's no way i'm answering it then the third ring happens and i'm like maybe i should get it then fourth ring happens and i'm like hello i got my whole thing hey dad how's it going yeah like shit because you know my dad you know your dad is the other line going fuck i don't want to call him my dad hates talking on the phone he never he never does only text when i have to call my dad i text him before and i go can i call you i think the only thing my dad ever says on the phone is

just nose breathing i'm like hey you want to get dinner tomorrow he's like i'm like okay sounds good seven o'clock? Yeah. All right, see you there. Exactly. Stevie Flat, shit I don't like. Guys thinking Snapchat is a form of communication. It is. Guys? Yeah, I don't know.

Snapchat is a weird thing. Guys thinking that emojis are okay to use in regular conversations. Those guys are kind of weird to me dude i'm kind of that guy i know no i'm just kidding oh it's weird why i don't do it like all the time in throughout like text but if you're using it calls for it like like a girl is one thing yeah it calls for the emoji yes do it it's fine in that context right but me and you text it and we're just like i don't think constant emojis no i don't do that shit like i don't even know what my emojis are i don't even know where they are on my phone i know where they're at i'm stupid let's see your most

recent emojis since we can't do google searches my most recent emoji is oh it's down here see i don't even know what's my most recent one frequently used the video game controller the kiss i've never used that one before ever i use the music notes a lot you've had to have used that video game one i've never used these unicorns those are just always those are at the front always i've never used these unicorn ones at all my entire life i use the music no i go to your text and you're just texting everybody with unicorns and shit oh they're all big too yeah i've never used this shit look how big they are i've tried to use that I go to your text and you're just texting everybody with unicorns and shit. Oh, they're all big too.

Yeah, I've never used this shit. Look how big they are. I've tried to use that and it just doesn't work. Yeah, see, I always use the music. Because it's goofy looking. Why do you use the music notes so much? I don't know. Whenever you're trying to say that this is part of a song and you type lyrics to somebody. That way they're not just like...

How often do you do that? It's mostly on TikTok and shit. part of a song and you like type like lyrics to somebody that way they're not just like how often do you do that it's mostly like on tiktok and shit you know what i mean not really all right how's tiktok going for you oh your song your rap song oh yeah i forgot to talk about this this is when you're this is uh this is a uh this is a low point in my life. This rap song. Let's play it real quick. No, I actually did this really well. So this girl said if I could rap, she'd go on a date with me. Here we go.

I don't know much about rapping. This isn't something I do, but I'd learn any skill if it meant I could buy you food. Since we already know I'm about to kill this beat. There's some questions I have, like Where do you like to eat? Do you like Italian? Mexican? How about Greek? Do you like steak? Chicken? Maybe you don't do meat? Do you count your calories? Do you have any allergies?

Like, I don't fuck with ketchup, ugh, it's not for me Cheese, bread, some maybe some pasta Some gyro, sushi, carne asada Do you mess with soda, tequila, beer, margarita? I wish you weren't reading it off of paper i hate you now it floats you're the only fat guy that doesn't like ketchup ever i'm allergic it doesn't matter it's not that it seems like you just power through the allergy

all right no i had all the lyrics already written down because this girl said that uh that she likes rappers and she goes if you can rap i'll go on a date with you i'm like all right bet i'm like musically talented like i can do musical stuff and i wrote all those lyrics in like like 15 minutes and then i called up my buddy i was like hey can i come do this i thought this was gonna be the cutest fucking thing in the world and then it didn't work 96 views okay sophie lemay did it shit i don't like i don't know i didn't really look it had a couple guys with their last name tattooed on their back you aren't in the nfl you look like you're stupid that you forgot your last name and you needed a reminder.

I have, my entire back looks like a jersey. It says Hensley and then 69. Just, that'd be a weird tattoo. I think it'd actually be a funny tattoo. All right, we're still going. Who else? Rachel De Delay. You just butcher your fans' names.

Rachel D-E-L-A-Y. That's Delay. Delay. What a last name. Okay, Rachel Delay. The shit I don't like. When people rev their engines or modify their cars to be obnoxiously loud, especially when they're driving in the city going 30 miles an hour and they know they're about to be stopped at the next light oh yeah

that shit drives me crazy too why doesn't it drive them crazy the people on the motorcycle like that has to be loud as shit right they're just used to it and the people like in the car why do you put your car neutral and just and then just fucking you're stopping bro we're all stopping no i agree and the the loud you don't hear it near as much as you used to i hear it all the time downtown the loud bass systems and shit in cars makes you like nose tickles like dude you have like a a 98 civic bro i was trying to figure out the song i'm like what is that nobody knows even inside the car you ever been inside one yeah you can't hear anything it's infuriating it's like make your whole face everything's fucking vibrating on it but yeah no there was a dude that uh i used

to live next to like five years ago he bought this motorcycle and he just spent all fucking day driving it up and down the street at like 9 o'clock in the morning. Like in your neighborhood? Yeah. He's just driving all the way down the street and you hear him turn around. He's just come back down. He's like, what the fuck are you doing, dude? Take it out on the road.

Yeah, it is rude. When people do stuff in neighborhoods real early. Like my mom didn't used to let me like play basketball like basketball, like, before, like, 8 a.m. in the neighborhood. Right. Okay. Page W. Shit I don't like. When people don't put their grocery cart where it belongs.

Dude. Anytime somebody doesn't put something back where it goes, just in general, it pisses me off. Oh, that's my whole life, man. I'm pretty bad at that. Like, people who leave the shopping carts in, like, the parking lot justes me off oh that's my whole life man like people who leave the shopping carts in like the parking lot just piss me off oh you gotta put it in the car corral that's the most fun right that's the shit shoving it from 100 yards and just watching it go in there that's a sport it is that's an olympic sport but they put them everywhere how can you not put it back

you know what i mean that's so lazy that's my favorite part of going to the store is pushing that bitch in the car crowd right and slamming it into all the other ones right in the middle and you're just like sweet yeah it's the only time you get to be destructive in your life and some people just just unload it and then fuck off like they're not part of a civilization you know what i mean when people wear their shoes in the house shit i don't like i kind of do like that though it's like a guilty pleasure for me oh yeah i'm not taking my shoes off unless you make a scene about it unless it's like your grandma's yeah but you know those rules because they were beaten into you as a kid you know i mean and you can like there's a vibe when you walk in like you can tell yeah like shoes

this is a shoes off house yeah because they have all the shoes stacked at the door that's how you know you ever have like those your friends who were like hey um we need to take our shoes off when we go in the house and you like look at their house and it's fucking nasty and you're just like i'm not taking my shoes off no bro sorry you're not gonna dirty up my socks so i can just save your carpet plus my socks have huge holes in them the size of like half dollars so yeah every time anybody ever makes you take a shoe off that's all the time when your big toes hanging out the the front of it it's always on the bottom on my heel and i can never tell yeah until you step on the linoleum you feel the coldness you're like is there a wet spot i don't know just hold my sock

just never buy socks just wear those over and over dude i need to buy new boxers yours are all ripped up dude yeah like oh my god how come that's a such a thing dude you always hold on to those for way too long boxers and holes i'm like ah these are still good why do we even wear underwear you ever think about that i don't anymore i'm done really commando right now just in general for real right now you're like you're no your legs are open towards me these are just like perfect shorts to go command look at this you really are just commando always now huh i can't i don't like the restriction boxers don't really give you a restriction yeah they do yeah when you

try to when you try to open up a little bit it's like i wear like boxers that are like briefs no not the briefs mine are like loose they're like they're like short shorts under shorts i used to do that hard shorts under shorts like small like size small shorts under like size large shorts those were like my boxers the dudes that do that with like jeans we talked about that a couple episodes ago did you really that's what i always just wear little shorts under jeans really what do you wear so weird nothing you did no absolutely never i've never gone commando ever in my life like not even on accident it's like i know i like to wear my pants down a little bit you ever go on a trip and be

like oh my god i forgot underwear no ever i feel like everyone would know you know i mean like everyone would know everyone kind of knows when you're commando but like i said you give off a vibe but you're like in shape so like if you like go off like that would matter it does matter wouldn't like girls see like your back end when you're not wearing underwear you know back end they're just like you're you're not you're not all right let's do days of the week tuesday national forget me not day jeez forget me not day is that like for a quote from a movie or something forget me when you uh pull off forget me forget me not have you her love me she loves me have you done that in

real life not in a long time that's a child but yeah i used to do that shit all the time i do that with a lot of things like not flowers though like if i make this like paper ball in the trash can like she likes me do you do that every person with like alzheimer's today is just like fuck why because they forget stuff that's what alzheimer's is national i get it man no you don't and yeah i do national vanilla cupcake day so it's just national boring fucking day you like chocolate cupcakes i like cupcakes just in general but like vanilla just has its own day vanilla cupcakes have their own day i like cupcakes in general it's just a real specific but the kids that would like lick

the icing off and then put the not eat the cupcake remember those fuckers that was you no no bro this body i get carbs and sugars wednesday national sunday day sunday that's not confusing at all sunday day a on wednesday yeah a why not just make it Sunday's National Sunday Day? Wednesday is National Sunday. A good Sunday is fucking badass, though. A good Sunday? Like a good hot fudge Sunday.

McDonald's has the best ones. I think McDonald's might be up there with the best ice cream. Dude, McDonald's ice cream is fire. Is it really? Yes. I don't think I've ever had. It's crazy good. I don't think I've ever had ice cream from. It. I don't think I've ever had ice cream from.

It's super underrated. I've had a McFlurry. Those kind of suck. Like an Oreo McFlurry. I've had those. McFlurry's kind of blow. I don't like the spoons. The spoons piss me off.

Yeah. I always kind of wondered what was going on with those until recently, but that's like how they used to blend it. That's their spender. I saw that on TikTok. Did you see that on TikTok? I didn't see that on TikTok, but I've known that forever. I'm not an idiot.

National pizza with the works, except anchovies day. How specific. Yeah, right? Anchovies. I don't know if I've ever had anchovies. I don't know if I've ever had anchovies either. Oh, they're the little fish they didn't know that disgusting oh yeah so you know what capers are but you know what anchovies are they're real little fish on that can't be that's not real that's what that looks like that's

what that it looks like yeah yeah no it's disgusting yeah i don't they don't do that do they do that at like actual pizza places like you can't ask for anchovies at Pizza Hut, can you? Go to Little Caesars. Can I get one of those hot and ready $5 anchovies, please? You got one in there with all the other cheese. Anchovies. That's the only one that's hot and ready. Yeah.

It's going to be 10 minutes for pizza, or we can get you an anchovies that's ready to go right now. I only get 30 minutes for lunch give me that friday national indian pudding day you like pudding i don't know indian pudding i love pudding you go to like a chinese restaurant you get like that bowl of banana pudding out of the buffet dude i really like really like... What's Indian pudding? I don't know, but it looks good. You think it's spicy?

Why does it look like... Molasses? Milk? It looks like sweet potatoes? Yeah, it does, yeah. With cranberries? Dude, this might be a thing. That does look bad. It's like the consistency is like pudding.

Is that ice cream on the side? Yeah. Ice cream? Banana pudding yeah ice cream banana pudding i want indian pudding yeah where do you get that at seriously are there good indian restaurants i don't think i've ever had indian food before you want to door dash indians indian food not indians a couple of Indians shoving your doorstep. What's up? Hey. Thanksgiving coming up, huh? Uh-oh.

Stay safe, guys. That's all you say to them. Indian pudding, though? Yeah. Why does right now does sweet potatoes and ice cream sound amazing together?

Ooh. Doesn't that sound like it would be a good combination? Sweet potatoes are so... They came up in the last couple of years with sweet potato fries. Sweet potato fries. Sweet potato fries.

That was a thing. If I can, if they have it available, I do it every time. So like it's $2 extra. I don't give a shit. Yeah. And they give you marshmallow sauce sometimes. Have you ever had that? I have not, but my God, I want it.

Dude. Where's marshmallow sauce at? I went to this place in LA and ate and they had sweet potato fries and marshmallow sauce. It was like this brunch place that all the TikTok people go to. Is it just fluff? Yeah, it's pretty good.

National Family PJ Day. What did you call clothes that you slept in when you were a kid? Boxers. No way. I never had had pjs what'd your mom call them like yo get your boxers on it's time for bed yeah take your clothes off she never said like did you have pjs do you still wear pjs like right now if you were to like go to bed i would just wear shorts and a shirt you wear shorts and a shirt yeah i did like footies and and a cap on my head i like to have the the little butts but

butts flap that's so stupid dude with the two buttons holding together that's in every cartoon overly sized for one of those snuggies no i don't i don't know i've never had pj what do you wear to bed you wear the same thing you I just wear one of those snuggies. No, I don't know. I've never had PJs. What do you wear to bed? Do you wear the same thing? You just wear like a pair of comfortable shorts and like the most comfortable shirt of all time? I wear just the boxers.

You're like, I just wear my Peyton Manning jersey. I wear just the boxers. I've tried recently, like over the last six months, I've tried getting comfortable sleeping naked, and I just can't do it. I think it's so weird to sleep naked. I just can't do it i think it's so weird to sleep naked i just can't do it i don't know why but i always feel like somebody's watching me sleep i know i always feel like there's gonna be an emergency and i have to get up yeah i'm like oh shit like you don't have like it's a fire and you don't have time here naked yeah there's a fire you don't have time to put on clothes you just have to go downstairs what's up staying on the sidewalk with your with your willy hanging out and you're like what's up hot up there huh yeah geez national it's kind of cold

out here just making excuses for it like dude it's july it's august bro like well i mean it's a chilly night for august it's it's 90. all right it's a wrap right that's it that's it dude an hour we usually do like four yeah okay it was standard that's uh that's shot 132 the espresso podcast ben palizzi ray hensley follow us twitter instagram tiktok cameo at ray hensley. Follow us. Twitter, Instagram, TikTok. Cameo. At Ray Hensley Comedy for me. You got shows coming up? No. God damn.

That's depressing. November 20th, I'm at Fort Wayne Comedy Club in what city is that? I'll be in Louisville soon. On the day before Thanksgiving. The night before Thanksgiving. That'll be tight. Damn. Yeah.

You want to go? Yeah. We'll talk about it. All right, y'all. Thanks'll be tight. Damn. You want to go? Yeah. We'll talk about it. All right, y'all. Thanks for listening. Love you. Talk to you guys next week. All right, fam.

So this girl said if I could rap, she'd go on a date with me. Here we go. I don't know much about rapping. This isn't something I do, but I'd learn any skill if it meant I could buy you food Since we already know I'm about to kill this beat There's some questions I have, like where do you like to eat? Do you like Italian? Mexican?

How about Greek? Do you do steak? Chicken? Maybe you don't do meat? Do you count your calories? Do you have any allergies? Like I don't fuck with ketchup, ugh, it's not for me Cheese, bread, some maybe some pasta Some gyro, sushi, carne asada

Do you mess with soda, tequila, beer, margaritas? White cloth, vodka, some maybe some pasta, some gyro sushi, carne asada, do you mess with soda, tequila, beer, margaritas, white cloth, vodka, some sex on the beaches, just get anything you want, no I'll pay for this date, one more thing, I'll pick you up Friday at 8, I hate you now.