Espresso - shit you shouldn't say out loud

Episode Date: March 31, 2022

🤮 ↓𝐖𝐇𝐎'𝐒 𝐁𝐔𝐘𝐈𝐍 𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐒? (𝐟𝐮𝐥𝐥 𝐯𝐢𝐝) 🤮 https://youtu.be/q1adpevNLzs 🔒 𝗷𝗼𝗶𝗻 𝗺𝘆 𝗽𝗮𝘁𝗿𝗲𝗼�� 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝗲𝘅𝗰𝗹𝘂𝘀𝗶𝘃𝗲 𝗽𝗼𝗱𝗰𝗮𝘀𝘁𝘀 𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙮 𝙬𝙚𝙚𝙠 (𝗼𝗻𝗹𝘆 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗳𝗮𝗺) https://www.patreon.com/benedictpolizzi ♦️ 𝗦𝘂𝗯𝘀𝗰𝗿𝗶𝗯𝗲 𝗼𝗻 𝗬𝗼𝘂𝗧𝘂𝗯𝗲 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝗺𝗼𝗿𝗲 𝗰𝗼𝗻𝘁𝗲𝗻𝘁! https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCXRwNZpU67AK24r5QGfIfCw 🔹 𝙙𝙤𝙣'𝙩 𝙛𝙤𝙧𝙜𝙚𝙩 𝙩𝙤 𝙧𝙖𝙩𝙚 & 𝙧𝙚𝙫𝙞𝙚𝙬 ;) on this episode Ben answers the Espresso Question of the week: what's some shit you shouldn't say out loud? (like how you're addicted to the smell of your own ass) 86 NEWS reports on Will Smith SMACKING Chris Rock then Ben realizes out of all mascots chester the cheetah would 1000% steal your girl, he admits whatever he is around is what his ass smells like, he explains why absolutely no one wants to go to your baby shower and remembers how creepy catholic church confession is 🔸𝗦𝗲𝗻𝗱 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗵𝗼𝗺𝗶𝗲 𝗮 𝗖𝗮𝗺𝗲𝗼 𝗳𝗿𝗼𝗺 𝗝𝗢𝗛𝗡𝗦𝗢𝗡: https://v.cameo.com/E48BXekQ29 🔹𝗧𝗶𝗸𝗧𝗼𝗸: https://www.tiktok.com/@benedictpolizzi?source=h5_m 🔸𝗜𝗻𝘀𝘁𝗮𝗴𝗿𝗮𝗺: https://www.instagram.com/benedictpolizzi/ 🔹𝗧𝘄𝗶𝘁𝘁𝗲𝗿: https://twitter.com/benedictpolizzi

Shhh, oh my god. Did you hear? No, what happened? It's just, tell me. It's just, it's shot 204. Yeah, okay. Coco in the studio. Shot 204. Open the door, you whore. Open the door, you whore Yeah, Lil' Coco in the studio Wearing way too many layers Put the jackets on for the haters Yeah, I got a t-shirt and a hoodie on under this Why? I'm just waiting for a kiss yeah not Hershey's I want the real thing on my skin girl yeah lay it on my cheek you would live free shit it's okay. Like BK, have it your way.

Yeah, Coco. What's up, fam? Oh my god, I'm loud as hell. He's wearing too many layers and drinking coffee in a heated studio. Back sweat dripping down his spine. Oh my. I feel like I'm presenting a project right now. Remember you're presenting like something? Anytime you give any type of presentation.

In college? Oh my god. How come every time you give a presentation in college you have to wear the thinnest shirt of all time? That dress shirt you have to wear? And you can just see the dude, my back sweat. I never had the underarm issue. It was always my god damn back.

There's nothing grosser than seeing that. Somebody sit up. Acting all cool and shit in class. And then he stands up. He's got a hella back sweat. Okay bro. Internal issues. Dress shirts are so fucking uncomfortable.

I can't get, I can't. Somebody, somebody figure this out for me, please. How come guys, no girls allowed. This is guy chat room only right now. How come inside of a dress shirt, like your white collared shirt, how come inside of the collar, it's just dirty as shit. Dude, I wear a dress shirt for six seconds. Fresh new dress shirt I get from Kohl's still has pins in it, stabbing my arms and shit. Try it on the dressing room, take it off. Look at the neck.

It looks like it just got, it looks like somebody just rubbed their fingers on a charcoal grill and then just just went over what is that how dirty is my neck what's going on i guess i don't really wash my neck but like i mean i think it like takes care of itself when i wash my face but seriously why does that happen the neck the inside the color your neck why is it so dirty and the the pillows like can we just can we just figure those two out and then I can move on with things I need to do but those two things I'm like why is the inside of my pillow why does it look like someone just rolled their face around and cheeto dust and then fell asleep on it. I'm like, is Chester the Cheeto's cool ass just sliding in my house when I leave? He is probably.

Dude, he's probably the cool. He would steal your bitch. Chester the Cheeto, dude. That cheetah. That's got to be the coolest mascot. If a mascot could steal your girl It's Chester the cheetah Captain Crunch bitch ass isn't doing anything

Tony the Tiger Straight up marry your girl In front of your face and she'd say yeah She's great Alright So Thick Show Thick Show Welcome to the pod, welcome to the pod. I'm your host, Benedict Polizzi, the most ADD podcast of all time. We gotta get going, because we've got a lot of answers to the espresso. Quick, quick, quick, quick, quick question of the week.

But first, remember to join the Patreon. One extra espresso exclusive shot every week. We go wild. It's uncut. I just say whatever, and it's just a party. It's got a bald guy's chat room vibe. And I keep mentioning bald guy's chat room because that's my little live thing I do like once a week. It's a little surprise on Instagram or TikTok. But all right, let's get into it.

This week, the espresso. Actually, wait. First, I can't believe I forgot. I actually have a little news. Oh, I can't believe. I forgot. There, come on. I can't believe it. I forget. There's no way.

But for 86 News. Oh, come on. I am Johnson. Breaking news. Actually, it's not breaking news anymore. But this past week, the interwebs were going crazy because Will Smith slapped Chris Rock in the face over a joke about his wife Jada Pinkett Smith's hair at the Oscars. Oh, jeez. And just think about it for a sec. A slap in the face during a prestigious award show such as the Oscars. I mean, my God.

Right? My God. Have some respect. They are on live TV. This isn't the Wild Wild West. I know. I'll quit the joke. Seriously. But this is something that will be remembered for years. Okay, Scott, I know. I'll quit the joke, seriously. But this is something that will be remembered for years.

And I'll tell you what, one thing we learned, Will Smith ain't no hitch. I never saw it, but it just felt right. Scott, okay. Okay, but in all seriousness, I mean, you talk to your wife or someone's wife that way? You talk to Jada that way? You talk to Jada that way? You're gonna get the hand cock. I know!

I know! Looking back on it, seriously, seriously, seriously, looking back on it, why didn't Will punch Chris? Why didn't Will punch Chris in the face? Maybe it had to do with something along the lines of osmosis. Oh, Jesus Christ.

But either way, hey, look at the whole situation. Look at the whole situation. These are celebrities that we look up to. They're our role models our entire lives. And during that award show, they definitely proved to be bad boys. Oh, Jesus Christ. Oh, my God. Well, oh, my God.

Last thing here. If you ran into Chris Rock this week, you know what you'll see on his face, right? Fresh Prince. Oh, my God! For 86 minutes! Huh! I am Johnson. Oh, jeez.

It's not welcome to Miami. It's welcome to my handy. I'm not leaving. I'm not leaving. Oh, jeez. Oh, God. All right. So, let's get into the question of the week.

Espresso, quick, quick, quick, quick, quick question of the week. What's something that you'd get a lot of shit for if you said it out loud? I told you it was tacos for me. I'm done with tacos, bro. And everybody's like, how? Why do you say tacos suck? You pick all the ingredients. It's just the concept of tacos.

Like, there's so many better options than tacos. Who's getting tacos? Burritos, yeah. Fajitas, yeah. Enchiladas, yeah. You know why they made all those? Because they were sick of fucking tacos. All right, here we go.

From Anonymous. What's something you'd get a lot of shit for if you said it out loud? I like the smell of my own farts. Hold on, there's more. How is there more, but there's more. I like the smell of my own farts. God damn it. He sent it twice, dude.

Imagine. Sending that once would be like, wow, I shouldn't have done that. He just fucking sent it twice. Let's compare. I like the smell of my own farts. I like the smell of my own farts. I like the smell of my own farts. The first one is way creepier. I like the smell of my own farts.

I don't know if you'd get a lot of shit for that one, bro, because who doesn't? Whoops. Dude, I've got this weird thing where whatever I'm around, that's what my ass smells like for the rest of time. I have no idea if that's like a common thing, but if I'm like next to a lake all day I'll drive back to my apartment And guess what I'm canoeing there too Bro If I'm next to your dog

At your house in Kentucky And then I drive to my grandma's house in Michigan My ass smells like fucking Rufus Is that a medical condition? I feel like it's almost a talent. I don't necessarily like it, but I'm just like, yeah, it's definitely that dog. Definitely. How does my, like, what the fuck?

All right, let's keep going. That was wild. What's something you'd get some shit for if you said it out loud from Anonymous? Well, one, it took me forever to figure out how to voice message. And two, I don't like cake bake. It's way overhyped. The food's not good. The cake's not even that good.

And they're just too cocky. Not a cake bake fan. Oh! Here we go Cake bake sucks She's right I can buy I'd rather buy cake at like

Kroger It's the same thing cake is cake man I don't think you I've never had a cake and been like oh now this This is something It's just it's cakes like pizza you're like fuck it yeah it's good whatever can come out of the oven or from like who knows new york it's the same shit yeah and the people that work at cake bake i'm'm like, what do you want from me? Do you hear my throat there?

But the people, that's karma. Every time I talk shit, my throat's like, don't say that. No, but the people at Cake Bake, like, they suck. And they know it, though. They know. That's the only thing I respect about Cake Bake. The workers are like, we know we're bitches. So pick out your cake If people don't know what I'm talking about

Cake Bake is like a Bougie ass Photo shoot ass Cake place in Broad Ripple That I'm low key obsessed with But I hate at the same time It's one of those But yeah I hate it but I still go

And I'm like yeah I'll take that cake I just like buying shit for like $28 when I don't need to. It's a weird thing I have. Like if it's expensive, I'm like automatically attracted to it. Not a good sign, people. All right, here we go. From Anonymous, what's something you'd get a lot of shit for if you said it out loud? If I said this, I'd probably get shit on.

But I finally respect tom brady as a colts fan because he came back after retirement and that's some gangster shit i don't know man is it gangster or is it like i am indecisive it maybe it's gangster one time but like when you're Brett Favre and you do it like 17 times. Is retiring even retiring? I feel like you get like three free spaces. When somebody says they retire, they're like, alright,

so he's getting me on the Raiders in a couple of years. Alright, here we go. From Anonymous, what's something that you'd get a lot of shit for if you said it out loud? God damn. Something I'd really get a lot of shit for if you said it out loud? God damn. So, something I'd really get a lot of shit for saying is, I bet Jada Pinkett Smith would be great in G.I. Jane 2.

Sorry, I guess that's too soon. But no, seriously. This guy. I really like my steak medium well. And I'm just too scared to say it. This guy. Don't make fun of bald people, dog. Steak medium well?

I feel like that's pretty normal. Medium well. Yeah, that's... What's like the number one option for, I never know. I didn't know how I like my steak cooked till like last year. I was like the one that everybody gets, the one that's not going to kill me. And the one that doesn't have, you know, the one that doesn't taste like a rock.

That's like what I'm used to though. When I had steak as a kid, it would just be hard as shit. And I'd be like, all right, I guess this is steak. That's probably why I don't like steak. Because I have PTSD from my dad forgetting it's on the grill. And like taking a shit upstairs while it's on the grill. And then I just ate it anyway. And I was like, this isn't that good.

Because it was literally beef jerky by the time I got it on my plate. I was like, all right. That's why he loves A1 sauce. Because it saves a motherfucking day. I don't really want to look this up because it's going to take forever. I hate keywords. Most popular steak. This is how bad I am at this. Doneness. What's most popular... Steak... This is how bad I am at this. Doneness. What the fuck?

Best cut... Steak... Temperature... Well done! The results showed 12% of Americans Steak temperature. Well done. The results showed 12% of Americans ordered their steaks well done at Longhorn, and less than 3% were going for a rare cook. The most popular way customers order their steak is medium,

followed by medium well and medium rare. So it goes medium, medium well, medium rare. I'm a medium. Well ass bitch. I Just don't want it I just don't want oh shit Yeah, I'm a medium. Well bitch. I mean that's pretty normal right? I don't like a bloody ass steak does anybody when any like food is bleeding I'm like this just reminds me of someone's like forearm or something like that Alright here we go. Anonymous, what would you get a lot of shit for if you said it out loud?

Yo, Ben. I know I would get so much shit for saying this out loud, so I've kind of just never admitted it, but I don't really like dogs. I don't find them cute, especially not the big ones. Like, I can see how a small dog is cute but like i don't find big dogs cute you know especially when they smell like wet dog that hit my core i didn't really like dogs till like five years ago i'm not gonna lie because i just had a because every dog i was around was big as shit i'm with him Big dogs I'm like You can just be in here

How It's just so in the way I don't know I don't have enough patience to have a dog I respect dogs But When they're so big it's just like Dude you're kind of just like A burden

Right That's not that crazy to think Dude they're Like when they stretch and sleep and smell Alright That's not that crazy to think Dude Like when they stretch and sleep And smell it's just like this is a lot Of going on this is too much Dog for one house If you have a big ass dog you need to live

On a farm God dang Dude I used to walk around my neighborhood And this dog you know like a regular size Fence Fences are like 6'3 Dang, dude. I used to walk around my neighborhood and this dog, you know like a regular size fence? It's like six, fences are like six three. Dude, this dog was so big, his head popped over the fence while I would walk around and he'd just, and his eyes, you know when the moon hits a dog's eyes, his eyes were red.

And I was like 12 walking around the neighborhood and this dog was Satan. I'm like, Jesus Christ, dude. Like who wants that in their backyard? Okay, here we go. Anonymous. What's something you'd get a lot of shit for if you said it out loud? Every girl with lip fillers looks like a fucking baboon oh god i was just thinking about this the other day it does look so weird but it's like accepted now it looks so weird the first time i ever saw it i was like that's hot fuck it i guess it's hot i mean i don't know if everybody's doing it it's just like

It's part of life now Like Jesus Christ Everybody's lips look so weird now I'm like not normal Old fish mouth How you doing It's so obvious When girls get too much lip filler

I'm like okay Let's kiss I guess Cause that's the only thing you're saying right now. Hey, girls with lip filler. Want a kiss? Can't tell. I don't know. It just looks so off. It's like Mr. Potato Head lips.

It really is. It's just like that's so awkward. Okay, here we go. Anonymous, what's something that you'd get a lot of shit for if you said it out loud? I think something that I would get shit for if I said out loud is how I actually felt about myself. I feel like we have to have this false modesty. But I know I'm the shit. And I feel like... have to have this false modesty, but I know I'm the shit. And I feel like people force you to feel like you need to apologize for being fucking awesome and knowing it and make you feel like you need to pretend like that's just not the case.

I know I'm awesome. I know I'm good looking. I know that I'm smart. I know I got a lot going for me, but I have to pretend like, oh, you know, no, I'm not that good looking or oh, I have so many flaws

or you know, oh, I'm not that smart. No. I am. I am that smart. Damn, dog. I know how to No. I am. I am that smart. Damn, dog. I know how to fuck. Jesus Christ.

I like myself. Really just casually slipped that last one in there. Did you just want to say that the whole time? I know. I'm smart. I'm pretty. I have a lot going for me. And I can fuck.

I wish I'm smart. I'm pretty. I have a lot going for me and I can fuck. I wish I was that confident. Feel like shit. No one feels that good. I feel that good like on like a Saturday night, but like, I don't feel like, I don't feel like that a lot. I don't know anybody, dude. I try to keep, I try to keep it low. Because anytime I feel like that, like hardcore, something happens.

Like I wreck my car and I'm like, I'm a piece of shit again. So I never try to say anything like that. I'm always just like, hopefully you guys know I'm okay. I'm doing good. But I'm not going to say it. Because I'll fucking get backed into in a parking garage all right here we go anonymous what's something you get a lot of shit for if you said it out loud nobody i mean nobody nobody wants to go to your baby shower oh my god this is crazy for me this is crazy for me. This is crazy for me. I have that. I don't know what that is.

Maybe because my parents growing up weren't together, but I don't give a shit about. I don't know, man. Maybe I'm immature. Maybe I need to see the bigger picture and grow up a little bit, but I don't think. Does anybody want to go to a wedding or a baby shower or anything like that?

Is it only, is it just me that thinks that a wedding is the most selfish fucking thing of all time? I mean, I, I like throw events and parties and shows and stuff like that and I host them and, but like, that's like a fun thing. you're like giving back to the people weddings are just like you're just asking for every like I'm like damn dog are you sure people are flying in and you're just and half the people don't even like you're

together like that you're together is that just I swear to God bro every wedding I'm like. Every wedding, I'm like, jeez, you selfish ass. I'm fucked up, I think. Maybe. Does anybody else think like that? Baby showers are just like... Can we do it online?

Can we just send you something? I swear to God, though. I don't think Nobody wakes up and they're like her fucking baby shower Let's go Tom Brady shit Her baby shower let's go Is anybody like

I don't know man I just cannot Alright here we go From anonymous What's something you'd get a lot of shit for if you said it out loud i can't think think of anything for your idea but bro that taco comment is fucking heinous you're gonna have a lot of people after you after that i don't give a shit they're not that good man who's out here really getting tacos that much? Anyway, haven't we moved on to other Mexican entrees? For real.

Who's going to restaurants and getting three tacos on that silver zigzag thing? They're not interesting anymore. Because we messed it up, dude. Basic ass bitches in America Messed up tacos forever We did That's cause you have to get them from When you're, like, it doesn't matter There's good places in Indiana that serve tacos

Like, shut up, that's not a thing The reason I don't like tacos Half of it is because They're just average And the other half is because People wear shirts that say tacos or die. And I'm like, okay, I can't. There's a day.

There's a day for tacos. I swear to God, if I had 15 tacos in front of me, I would take what's on the tortillas, bro. I don't need it. I don't need it. The bowl destroyed tacos. I'm sorry. Sorry, tacos. From Anonymous, what's something you'd get a lot of shit for if you said it out loud?

Alright, I got one for this. Marvel comic movies are predictable, copy- copy paste trash films made for dudes whose entire personality is sports so that they can feel a little bit less one-dimensional dimensional about themselves like oh yeah bro i love movies where i don't know the good guy wins every time like no way spider-man wins in his 37th straight movie? Fucking sick. Want to see who knows more Step Brothers quotes later? Fuck those guys. I got two words for you, anonymous man. Avengers Infinity War.

That's three words. Shit. Avengers Infinity War. That's three words. Shit. But what movies are you watching where the superheroes lose? Are you a DC guy? Huh?

Because those motherfuckers win every time. Name a movie where they've all lost. Infinity War. Just saying. They literally all died at the end of that movie. Anywho. Alright, here we go from anonymous what's something you'd get a lot of shit for if you said it out loud if you're almost 30 years old and you're still going to edm festivals what the fuck are you even doing with your life don't you have

responsibilities shouldn't you be like you know filing your taxes and shit no that shit is so childish if you're almost 30 it's embarrassing as fuck if you do anything and you're almost 30 it's embarrassing as fuck try going out oh my god i feel like an idiot when i go out still do it but i'm like this is not gonna end well anything you do when you're almost 30 is low-key awkward an edm festival though i don't even know what's what's the like why are those so good why i i don't know i missed like a whole culture that's some white people right there though edm festivals i can't dance to edm Like you literally have to be on drugs For sure

And I guess that's why it's irresponsible as shit But like when you're out And you're at like a bar or something And they're playing music and it's EDM I'm like what am I supposed to do to this I know that's like the Thing about EDM But like literally what are you supposed to do

When there's just noise I can't get down to that I gotta have words cause I. I got to have words because I like. I have to have words in song. So I have a little bit of a start on where to go if I need to dance. You know what I mean? Because I act that shit out. Every song is a play for me.

Every song is just a game of charades. It's like if we're underwater and I'm trying to explain something to you, that's how I dance. I'm like... I don't get it, dude. I'd kill myself if I went to an EDM festival. Straight up. Oh my

God. That was good. That was good That was good fam That's all for the espresso Question of the week I think there's gonna be a better one next week I said it But let's go Viral

Viral And viral is V-V-Viral. V-V-Viral. V-V-Viral. V-V-Viral. V-V-Viral. V-V-Viral. V-V-Viral. V-V-Viral. V-V-Viral. V-V-Viral. V-V-Viral. V-V-Viral. V-V-Viral. V-V-Viral. V-V-Viral. V-V-Viral. V-V-Viral. V-V-Viral. V-V-Viral. V-V-Viral. V-V-Viral. V-V-Viral.

V-V-Viral. V-V-Viral. V-V-Viral. V-V-Viral. V-V-Viral. V-V-Viral. V-V-Viral. V-V-Viral.

V-V-Viral. V-V-Viral. V-V-Viral. V-V-Viral. V-V-Viral. V-V-Viral. V-V-Viral. V-V-Viral.

V-V-Viral. V-V-Viral. V-V-Viral. V-V-Viral. V-V-Viral. V-V-Viral. V-V-Viral. V-V-Viral.

V-V-Viral. V-V-Viral. V-V-Vcom. V-v-v-v-viral. Hashtag report card excuses. What if we had to get a report card now? You ever think about that? Oh, my God. I guess we do, kind of.

Like, what if you got a report card at your job now, and you had to end and you had to post it on social media how infuriating when you got a report card as a kid and everybody just had to look at how dumb you were oh my god bro i was never showing my shit what would you get music i was like fuck i really failed music one time. Like, F. My parents were so shitty. I didn't care. I was like, I don't know.

Does this mean anything? It'd be different if it was like, English. But I was just tripping in music class growing up. Like, I failed every test and I always had an A. So I was like, I mean, yeah. I don't know what melody is. is it like the fact that every music teacher growing up was satanic what was wrong why are music teachers so mad our music teacher was a hot head is that every teacher how come how come in every scenario growing up in school i was just getting screamed at oh shit what'd this dude make me cry for

me crying at school and trying to act like i'm not crying that's my whole life hashtag when i'm bored at work when i worked at a nine to five job and I was bored at work, you know what I was doing and didn't care at all. Applying for 15 jobs each day, dude, does work, does work actually check what you do on your computer? Do they do that? Does anybody know whose job is that to be like, Oh shit. Like, is there just one guy in the whole building that's like oh what the fuck like just looking at your screen because i would do some fucking wacko shit on my computer and i was like whatever i've gone this far and i haven't been fired

oh shit you know you click on those little ads at the bottom of the page that are like tailored for your weird brain why are those so clickable i'm like did i just see a vagina oh never mind health benefits of eating uh green snap peas i'm like never mind that's not what i saw or is it those ads at the bottom of the page have my fucking soul. Hashtag recipe for bad romance. Recipe for bad romance. I don't fucking know.

You have to communicate. That's always like the big thing and everybody's really. You have to communicate if you want a good relationship. Okay, how about just don't talk to me? Has anybody ever tried that? Give me a relationship with the worst communication ever. I bet it's fire. You guys have been together for five years. What is it?

Oh, we just don't really talk to each other ever. Oh, we don't talk. We just talk when we need to. Everything else, we just don't. And we run into each other. Yeah we don't talk We just talk like When we need to Everything else Kind of We just don't And we run into each other

Yeah it's great It's actually phenomenal Because we don't talk All fucking day And we see each other I got so much to say Yeah That's my next relationship

Don't say shit I want bad communication shit. I want bad communication. Anything, a recipe for bad romance. If there's anything bad that happens in a relationship, all you really have to do is just, everything revolves around food. If I'm ever pissed for any reason and someone gives me food, I'm like, yeah, I know that sounds like basic as shit, but it's true. Just give me some dope food from like, like give me some carry out. I don't care what you did. Give me some carry out.

Give me that brown bag with a bunch of black containers in it. I don't want to eat in the restaurant. You ever been in a restaurant when two people are breaking up in there? How are they still in there? I see it all the time. Because I work at one. But when there's a table of two and they're sad and kind of fighting, I'm like, leave! Go in your car that's where all the work gets done in a relationship in the car dude

for sure i swear to god i've never made oh my god the shit i've said if my car could listen oh my god my car be like yeah bro you are the dumbest the shit I've said in my car I don't want to know hashtag beauty in my eyes. What's beauty in my eyes? Laughter. Shut up. You want to know what's beautiful to me? Just the Memphis Grizzlies logo. Just shit like that. That to me,

Joey Harrington, Oregon uniforms. That's beautiful. Oh my God. That's a work of art. Sunset. Sunset is kind of nice, though, honestly. Not sunset. Sunrise, bro.

You ever catch a sunrise? Holy. That's the OG gradient. You know what I'm talking about, art people. This is getting nerdy. This whole podcast is kind of nerdy. I kind of like it. Hashtag investing facts.

I'll never invest. I have no idea how. I don't know how people know how. I don't know how you guys just learn that shit so quickly. Some people just come up to me in a week and be like, I just invested this, this, this into this, and it's like working. I'm like, how are you so sure? I'm never sure of anything.

Imagine investing money once. I'd invest it and then forget my password and be like, I have no fucking idea what's happening with that. I don't know, man. I need somebody to take care of that shit for me. And everything else in my life. Hashtag tips to keep it together what do i do to keep it together oh my god i've never found anything to work besides exercise if i'm tripping and like freaking out in my head, I just need to like, but I have to like take it to the extreme.

I have to like kill myself working out to be like, okay, better. Like if something doesn't go my way once I have to like run up a fucking mountain and I'm like, oh, I have to almost die every time I'm like weirded out. When I'm like super overthinky, I have to like, I have to like run a five sprint, a five K and I'm like, all right, I can, I can think about it now. Yep. My head's clear to clear my head, bro. I have to do something insane. I have to like build a car and sell it for like $6 million. And I'm like, all right. Um, time to do a podcast. Like, what? All right, let's do days of the week. Da-da-da-da-da, days of the week.

Days of the week is when there's a national day of the week every single day. There's like 1,000 of them, and they're really annoying. And I make fun of them. Thursday. Okay. National prom day. How lame was prom thinking back at that? How cool did you think you were at prom?

And now looking back at it. Ew. How come my sideburns were so long? I wish I could go back in time. Or why didn't, well, like, why didn't, people who knew me in high school, why didn't you punch me in the face? My sideburns, guys and sideburns. Like, what's the... Dude, the second guys can grow sideburns, we're like, Yes! And we just don't, like... It's just like a contest.

I would grow them down to my collarbones in high school if I could. What the hell? See? See? I am mature. Every guy in high school. See? I am mature. Every guy in high school. See? I'm strong. So dumb.

They look so stupid. My sideburns were so long. Somebody cut my mouth open on both sides and put their whole hand in my mouth till I die because of my sideburns. If I even have a second of sideburns today, I'm like, haircut. Just that band-aid going down the side of your face. You know? Just that.

It's so weird. Why? Why? Why? And they still have them. It's like never going to stop. Shit will never stop. Friday.

National Reconciliation Day. Reconciliation-dation. I think I said that every day of my life growing up. What the hell is reconciliation? You should know. You went to a Catholic school. The restoration of friendly relations. I know that was a sacrament in my Catholic school, but I never knew what it was.

It sounded like a party, kind of. Tonight we're having reconciliation! Confession. Remember that, Catholic school kids? Confession Remember that Catholic school kids Confession Where you tell that weird priest Every weird thing you did when you were a kid That you got in trouble for What a Why

Why Can I just get that done in my head Father Jim The shit I would make up and tell him Oh my god I wish I did confession now I would say the wildest shit

When I was a kid I was like Um father please forgive me Uh I talked back to my mom And Yeah she got Yeah and then And then I'd like give him one suit I'd like run out because I was like

I like had three like in my back pocket That I could just say that were like normal But I'd forget when I was talking to the priest and I would just, then I'd be like, fuck, what was something I actually did? Cause I can't remember my like fake lies. So I was lying to the priest during confession. Who didn't? I did all the worst shit in church ever. Oh my god Ew

People that go to church Here's my shit that I'd get a lot of Something I'd get a lot of shit for If I said it out loud I'd fuck that up But you know what I mean People that go to church are more evil than people that don't go to church Said it It's just true. It's weird.

People that are worshiping. I'm like, what are you doing? Okay. Um, yeah, I'd say something super specific to the priest when I didn't have to. And I'd be like, Oh God, shouldn't have said that. And the priest would be like, your house is psycho. Like, is there anything else you want to confess? I'd be like, yeah, I left the screen door open all night. My dad jumped my shit the next day. Was the real door closed? I'd be like, yeah, it was closed, but the screen door was open.

He gets really mad at that. And I forgot to turn three lights off upstairs. The priest would be like, okay, we're sending cops to your dad's house. Sunday. National find a rainbow day. Rainbows kind of piss me off. God, that's crazy to say that. No one's ever said that.

Rainbows are dope, but I'm like it's how no this is why this is why rainbows piss me off because it's all you always see them when it's the worst weather of all time everybody's like oh my god look at that rainbow i was like yeah but it's like rainy outside and it's hot now because the sun i'm like i'm i don't give a shit like maybe if a rainbow popped out on like a dope day when like it was sunny the whole day, I'd be like, let's go. But it's always like, Ooh, outside. All right. That's it. Fam shot two Oh four espresso pod. I'm your host, Ben Polizzi. Thanks for listening.

And tell your homies and home girls about the pod. I'm your host, Ben Polizzi. Thanks for listening. Tell your homies and homegirls about the pod. Subscribe, follow, rate, review, watch it on YouTube. And thank you for following along with all the stuff I'm doing. Thank you for listening. I love you guys so much, man. I got a lot in store, and I can't wait. I can't wait for this week. But okay, I'll talk to you guys next week. I have family.