Espresso - SPILL the TEA

Episode Date: April 4, 2024

support benny and get every other pod and a weekly livestream for $5/month https://www.patreon.com/benedictpolizzion this ep benny reacts to the TEA that you guys are spilling (like your neighbor's daughter is just waiting for her mom to die)🎟️ 𝗕𝗘𝗡𝗡𝗬'𝗦 𝗨𝗣𝗖𝗢𝗠𝗜𝗡𝗚 𝗦𝗧𝗔𝗡𝗗 𝗨𝗣 𝗦𝗛𝗢𝗪𝗦 https://benedictpolizzi.com/shows/Hartford - April 18 Omaha - May 1 Syracuse - May 30💕 WATCH BENNY ON LOVERS & LIARS APRIL 11th ON CW🧢 "𝗙𝗕𝗢𝗬" 𝗙𝗢𝗥 𝟮𝟱% 𝗢𝗙𝗙 𝗔𝗟𝗟 𝗠𝗘𝗥𝗖𝗛 https://benedictmerch.com/

Spill it. I've been very tempted since I live in Nevada. I can, prostitutes are legal in certain places. Oh yeah. I want to buy him a hooker and get him laid so he can chill the fuck out. I completely understand that. I don't know what else to do to solve this situation, but he needs to chill the fuck out. You should see, you should see what's on HG on hgtv you should see oh this is on

espresso podcast shot 309 i'm your girlfriend benny who can't figure out his remote control so he hasn't watched tv in 12 years can we talk before we get started upcoming shows hartford connecticut april 18th it's close Get your tickies Benedict Polizzi.com Then Omaha, Nebraska May 1st That's really close too Syracuse, New York

I'm in New York New York May 30th Get your tickies below Or at Benedict Polizzi.com How many times is he gonna say it? Watch FBoy Island season 1, 2, and three on the CW app, and Lovers and Liars is out, baby.

It's supposed to be a sneak peek this past Monday, but they dropped the full ep. Lover, and it's fire. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good.

It's so good. I haven't watched it, but everything I've seen has been really really like the girls are hot dude the girls are the girls carry the girls carry hey i'm doing my best out here trying to trying to trying to be the hot guy trying to be hot guy trying to be funny guy you know what i'm doing though i'm just being me i'm just being me on the show and it's good check it out lovers and liars cw app uh first episode is out watch it let You know what I'm doing though? I'm just being me. I'm just being me on the show. And it's good. Check it out. Lovers and Liars, CW app. First episode is out. Watch it. Let me know what you think. And like, bro, put it on your story. Do it, do it, do it, do it, do it,

do it, do it. Take a, take a, take a little IG story. Be like watching this idiot and I'll, I'll repost it because I love you, but like it really is. It's fire and all merch, benedictmerch.com. Get your feeling glonky hoodies, your top hats. Uh, I'm going to do some damn girl merch coming soon. Uh, I think I'm thinking crew necks, pink crew necks with damn girl on them. All at benedictmerch.com uh fboy at checkout for 25 off um and remember to join the patreon tell your homies to join the patreon five dollars a month for every other podcast every other podcast in a live stream at the end of every week uh drop some heat in the live stream this past week.

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Question of the week. Making sure I'm recording. Okay, we are. Thank God. Question of the week. Making sure I'm recording. Okay, we are. Thank God. Question of the week. Spill the tea. Spill it, babe. What's going on?

Everybody's got a little tea. Everybody wants to hear a little tea. I think this can be a reoccurring question. What's your tea? What's going on? Ex, current girlfriend cheating on you? You cheating on them? What's going on? Ex current girlfriend cheating on you. You cheating on them. What's going on? Hmm. Coworker kind of wanna poison them. I don't know. What's the tea for me? Um, I've got a catfish on Snapchat. It's bothering me in its tea because girls really

think that it's me. If you're snapping me on Snapchat, no, you're not. It's someone else that steals all my content and repurposes it on Snapchat and makes it seem like it's me. I promise. I promise. Uh, I'm really sorry about that block report. Call nine one, one, get them all, get them out of there. Cause it's not me, but, uh, it's weird because he'll say weird things to girl. He'll be like, yo, you trying to, you know what I mean? Come to my apartment. And he gives like an Indianapolis apartment, my old apartment. I don't live there, bro. Block report. And I get screenshots like him saying weird stuff. Like, like, like gross, dude. Asking for news. It's not me. It's not me. I promise it's not me. Plus,

I'm verified on Snapchat. so if you ever get like a request on snapchat from me it's not really from me it's from catfish and i'm on i'm on snapchat verified so just just just check it out check it out before you assume uh but that's my tea bro and it's it's bad it's that needs to come to an end i've had a catfish on snapchat for the past like five years it's the most annoying thing in the world but um yeah don't fall for it let's uh let's hear yours what's your tea spill it babe sponge boy me bob that's the tea sponge boy me Bob that sounds like me trying to make sure that the the voice message thing works that's like what I would say in it speaking of SpongeBob though on my whole entire tick-tock for you page is all the weird Nickelodeon guy stuff, you know,

the, like all the abuse and assault that they, they hit those child star, like Amanda Bynes with and like Drake and Josh with. This is insane. But when I was on F girl Island lovers and liars, I had like my own room where I could watch TV, but I didn't really have TV. I just had like YouTube. So like to get like, you know, when you're trapped in a reality world, you kind of get in your own head. So I'd try to like watch funny stuff on TV and I watched like happy Gilmore and shit just to like, you know, so I could like start thinking differently and like start like, you know, I was just in my own head a lot when I was there so I was like trying to watch stuff to make me like you know a normal person again and I started like something came on my

screen I started watching all that or I started watching Kenan and Kel or the Amanda show or something I was like let me see how funny this shit really was dude and it was it was. There was like a producer in my room and we just had like an hour. And I was like, I'm just going to check out this, like this skit that they did on the Amanda show. And dude, it was like them, like with a big log of like, uh, chocolate and it looked like shit. It looked like an actual piece of shit. And they're like rubbing it all over themselves and stuff and the producer got in my room got really quiet and i was still watching it because i was like i was like this has got to turn into something funny like i was like committed to i was sticking up for it i was like i i put it on the amanda show like we're just gonna keep watching it because i i had faith in it bro and i was like i can't watch this after a while i was

like i can't watch this anymore the producer producer goes that was the weirdest thing I've ever seen I goes that was on tv at one point this is before all that Dan Schneider Nickelodeon stuff came out so like don't go back and watch all that and Amanda Bynes and like Drake and Josh because it is like I accidentally did it on Lovers and Liars when i was there and it's weird just saying but what's the tea here we go is this recording okay so um i am a feminine male just for context, but I've been getting hit on by my mom's work friends. So I live close to my mom and I visit her often. And one of her friends always flirts with me, hits on me, and he's really cute. But I tell myself, don't hook up or flirt or date any of your mom's friends. True.

And he's openly hitting on me, flirting with me in front of his friends. Mom even hosted a Father's Day party and he was there and he was constantly flirting with me. And he's always over at the house like almost every day. We know why. One day he comes over and this time was different because he brought his kids and wife. Okay.

And he acted so casual about it. Like it was no big deal. And I'm thinking to myself, how am I put in these situations? But for me, I guess he's clos closeted there are so many stupid rules so many rules i have to follow and i didn't ask for any of this but this is like a recurring theme in my life but that story is funny because it's so recurring he's like i don't know what to do i'm just so hot bro you're you're you got the right mindset though man so homie from work

wants to uh wants to kiss pretty much kiss and he's got a whole entire family and he won't back off he's gonna figure it out sooner or later if you just keep giving him that sorry dog you know what i mean like you're letting the compliments slip through i've been in your shoes i've been in your shoes you're not like entertaining it but you're like you're seeing what he has to to say. You know, you're letting the, you're letting the offer, you're seeing the offer, but you're not taking the offer is what you're doing. Because like, you know, when, when somebody's into you, it feels good, but like sooner or later, you gotta, you gotta put the brakes down on it. But, uh, yeah, dude. Um, you got the, you got, you're in the right mindset. Don't, don't,

for the love of God, don't do it. If you do it, I'm going to be so disappointed in you. Don't ever give in to the, to the scenario. You know, it sounds kind of sexy. It sounds kind of flirty. Oh, that'd be a good story but don't do it bro because then they get the w don't give them the w it's better it's better it's better it's sexier where it is now for you you know you got him feeding out of your hand feeding under your hand you got him eating out of your hand, you know? He's taking M&Ms from the palm of your hand right now. He wants more. Don't give him more, baby.

Stay strong. But it is nice to feel like somebody, you know what I mean? It is like a good feeling. Something about the feeling of knowing you can but you can't but you're not gonna oh that's a good one knowing you could smash but not doing it you're like

I'm the captain now stay there don't give in let's keep going it's a T okay I didn't want to do this but you've been asking for a voice recording so i'm just gonna send it let's go and it's anonymous so here it goes you can wreck me you're hot as shit and i'm a gay guy obviously i. I mean, I don't know if I sounded like a guy. Maybe I didn't. Whatever. But what I'm saying is,

you're hot as shit, and I want you to do all sorts of things to me, and I'm sorry about that. I don't mean to... I love you, bro. ...objectify you in this way, but damn damn motherfucker why you gotta be looking like this

why you gotta be out here saying these things and doing these things the way you know that make me feel things anyway okay

fun Crazy bro Anyway Okay Fun Good night God it was a laugh at the end for me Um Hey I don't know man I'm just I'm out here

I'm not trying to attract anyone Necessarily I'm just doing whatever um so I really appreciate that bro because that means you like me for me uh thank you but man doesn't doesn't getting complimented like that feels so good I know I've talked about it before, but I was having a shitty day Monday. I woke up, I was like, Oh, I didn't get up on time. I let it snooze. I snoozed my, I snoozed my little pink ass off. I got up late. I started doing, I started posting stuff on my computer, started going, you know, I was starting, I was doing all these other things. My head was all weird.

You know, when you've been looking at a screen all day, the way your head feels, I was like, I need it. I stayed in my apartment till like 4 PM and then 4 30 rolled around. I was just going to the gym. I was like, Oh, I've never been to the gym that late in my life. Like, what is this? These people won't even know who I am at the gym. You know, you go to the gym at one certain time every day like that's your click everybody at the gym

like those are your boys kind of i'm going at a new time slot bro i gotta meet all these new people not meet them but i gotta like you know i gotta like yeah i know yeah i'm yeah sorry i was late dude i go to the gym this guy goes hey i just want you to know you have very nice legs. I was like, thank you, dude. Felt good. I was like, all right, cool. I kind of like this 430 group. We're not bad.

Start doing some stuff. Start doing some stuff. Walk to another machine. Same guy in a different area like an hour later. Hey, I told my friend I'm going to dream about your legs tonight. It wasn't even leg day. Bro, you can be having the most terrible day of all time. Go to the LA Fitness in Hollywood.

Oh! Turn my whole day around. I'm like, I love this gym. Who's not going here? But that's what that voice message just did to to me he said he wanted to wreck me bro on gangaroni and cheese thank you bro i appreciate it i love you we're out here being honest that's all send it send the tea don't be scared it's anonymous uh let's keep going hey benny so spilling the tea here um yeah i have a co-worker i work in nevada in a casino nice and crazy i know that this co-worker is a virgin 31 years old whoa he sucks he sucks he doesn't know how to do his job um he's too uptight

and to spill the tea with you right now i uh spill it i've been very tempted since i live in nevada i can prostitutes are legal in certain places oh i want to buy him a hooker And get him laid So he can chill the fuck out I completely I don't know what else to do To solve this situation But he needs to chill the fuck out He's too uptight Work is a pain in the ass

Because he's just too uptight That's it That's my tea I love you working in a casino it seems like all those guys are super like you can just tell bro you can just tell we've talked about it before on this podcast you can just tell when somebody somebody hasn't or has not often had sex i know it sounds like all right big shot but like hey at least act like you've had sex before you know you know you see a guy in your like he's never had sex because he's just like oh okay yes okay i don't know will you you help me? That's a guy. Then after you do it, you're like, what's up?

What'd you say? All right, cool. I don't know. You know, you're just, you can tell, bro. Get the guy a prostitute. Let him live his life. I would do it. That's good tea right there.

Homie's uptight. He needs to work out. He needs to like experience something. You're in Vegas. Line him up. There's probably a van right outside wherever you work that says, there's probably a van full of them right outside of the door you clock out of.

Throw him in the back of that thing. Will somebody kiss this guy's neck for crying out loud is he a real nerdy bartender god dang do him a favor do him a sweet sweet favor do do something he'll never forget maybe it doesn't maybe he doesn't even have to know, you know? What if you just set him up and the girl just, pay the girl like, I don't know how much, how much are prostitutes in Las Vegas? I feel like they're pretty top dollar. What is it, a thousand bucks?

Thousand bucks. That's a lot of money to invest in someone that you kind of hate, but it's a good story. A thousand bucks. I don't know, you might make a thousand bucks like this weekend. Invest it in your business, you know what I mean? Put it right back into the business, baby, like Mr. Beast. Put a thousand on him.

Have a girl schmooze them at the bar. Maybe he goes home and then talk him into going home with her. Be like the inside guy. Yeah, she likes you. Look at her. Go for it. Boom, bang, diggy dang. The next day, this guy's working his tail off being cool at the casino. What what do you need yeah i'll get it uh-huh yeah no problem yep i got you he looks better his his skin is clear he doesn't have a weird adam's apple anymore his face is shaved his eyes are like this all of a sudden hey you have sex once your eyes your eyes get more squinty every time you have sex once Your eyes get more squinty every time you have sex Guys that have sex a lot Look like they're looking right into the sun

Kind of look like E.T. E.T.? I guess his eyes are kind of big, aren't they? Yeah, get old... Get old squinty... Squinty eye. Get old... Get homie...

Get homie some squints. Is all I'm saying. I would do it. It's a good little experiment you know loosen them up a little bit keep going my tea is basically a conspiracy theory about my neighbor it's an older lady who owns the house but at a certain point her daughter moved in the house but at a certain point her daughter moved in she's either 40 years old or really rough 25 year old yeah so i'm like okay well you know things haven't really worked out for her so far so she's you know moving back in the mom picking herself back up you know which happens and well she started buying shit like

to me if you're moving back in with your parents you're doing it to save money yeah to move out but she's just buying shit dude she's buying new cars whoa like she's getting dogs i think it seems like she's probably paying money for like you know i don't i don't like she's getting dogs i think it seems like she's probably paying money for like you know i don't i don't think she's the rescue type and you know the mom has had a couple ambulance visits lately so this girl is just waiting for her mom to die and then she can have that house and no matter what i'm not getting my leaves off the sidewalk you can step on them they're crunchy and it's fun damn it that's a good one that's super tea that's boba tea that's thatba tea.

That's that herbal tea right there. Wouldn't her mom know? Maybe her mom's real old and she just doesn't even care. Come back home, honey. Okay. That's the thing about living in a neighborhood you're always like everybody's always on your tail bro the neighbors always know what's going on and whatever you think is happening is usually happening

isn't that crazy if there's ever a rumor or something going on It's always true New dogs New car You think she's poisoning her mom What you feeding mommy huh Yeah I don't know man that is tell her buy a new lawnmower start chipping in on your yard hey you buying all this stuff get a zero turn john deere help your boy out it's hard getting around these trees on a push mower.

Yeah, when I'd go to my dad's house and I would do stuff and like do stuff outside, I felt like, like probably like four people had eyes on me. It was creepy. I'm like guy across the street wants to know what's going on. Guys looking out his window, but I'd always be doing the most the most i'd have a wig on i'd be i'd have a skirt on i'd be like dancing the baby got back in the front yard like dude they had a reason to look and there was a school right behind my house probably didn't help but when you live in the neighborhood, bro, better cover your tracks because everybody's spying on you.

Damn, that's crazy. Dude, people will really just try to kill their parents for money. Hey, get a job. Work at Claire's in the mall. Pierce some ears. Smile. Do what you restock the earrings. Buy one, get one free. You really just have to wait for him. Do people do the stupidest things for money? I can't even like the lengths people will go to make money.

Those people that like flip shoes and flips. I could never do that. I don't know what it is, what I got, what kind of tism I have, but I'm like, I can't, I can't just sit there and like, yo, I bought these shoes for 80 bucks. I'm going to sell them on eBay for a hundred and make 20 bucks. I'm like, it just seems like it's too much work. You're going to wait until your mommy dies? Get a job at the mall.

Oh, hey, is this thing going? Sorry. New listener alert. I have some tea about a certain TikTok comedian. You know, last summer they said they were grounded. I'm starting to think they were filming reality shows. Whoops. What do you think?

Maybe trying to get with some good girls, some bad girls. Going up to them like, yo, call me chamomile and let's make some reality. Fuck! Sorry, Katie. You say chamomile. Hold on. Reality.

Yo, call me chamomile and let's make some reality sorry katie no notes bro brought the katie joke back by the way yes katie is in here

still dating her me and katie thurston xoxo forever no uh but yeah that was some tea no i yes i was gone for eight weeks this summer and yes i did film two reality shows ah and they're both on the cw app for free so check them out he said cam a mile her name's camille and you'll get to know her a lot more on Lovers and Liars. Every Thursday at 9 p.m. on The CW. All right, we got one more.

Spill the t-t-t-t-t. Here we go. Okay, so i know this girl and she especially like on the internet makes this persona out that she's this christian woman oh yeah she's such a good mother and she does so much for the community and she rescues animals and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Right. And that's what she likes, like telling everyone. But nobody knows that at night she does this thing and I'll call it therapy.

Oh, yeah. Work. I love the tea. Oh, God. Work. I love the tea. And if the guys give her a little extra money, you know what I'm saying? She'll do a little bit more.

Yeah. Kind of. If anyone knew, it'd like totally blow a cover. So she's a massage therapist. Okay. Yo. I've gone to a masseuse once and it is like, maybe it's just a guy thing, but every time I've gone to masseuse one time,

every time I even go by a massage place, I'm like, I wonder if they do it there. You know, it's just, maybe it's a guy thing. Like that's the first thing the girls think like that too like i was getting a massage and i was like i wonder if she's gonna do it like on some sketch shit like i wonder like is it part of is this is this one of the places because you never know you always hear about them oh that place is the one that does that every single one and it seems like they're all getting away with it.

Yeah, but that's really the thing. The real Christian people with the Bible verses in the bio, guess what, mama? You're a piece of shit. That's just the bat signal for being a piece of shit. You got a Bible verse in your bio guess what you're trash and we all know it name one person with a bible verse in their bio that is actually a good person. You can't. Not even a priest on Instagram

has a Bible verse in their bio. See if there's any more. We getting any late breaking voice messages here? Good you like in what you see? I would get, if it happened What you see? I would get... If it happened to me, if I went to a... If I went and got a massage and it started happening to me, I would immediately be like, no.

Because everybody gets in trouble for that. Girl, you like it? What you see? Alright, here we go. There's a couple more. I love you, Milky Boy. What, dude? I sound so... I sound really silky boy, you know? Sicky boy.

Because silky boy is sappy Milky Boy, right? Anyway, my guy, Sicky Boy. I love you, Sicky Boy. Whoa. Or Flemmy Boy. We kind of sound like Tony Robbins a little bit, you know? You want to change your... robbins a little bit you know you want to change your physiologically my friends you gotta change your focus something whatever long story short um i kind of feel what the prompt is about but we're just gonna let it rip dude i think it was

something about oh spill the tea okay yeah i got nothing for that to be perfectly honest with you but you know what as we're driving, how about how crappy drivers are? That's one. Let's go off on that, sis. We can go off. Freaking Milky Boy. Give me freaking a good driver in front of me. These people.

Right now, I'm hiring a guy. He's doing the speed limit, sure. The amount of idiots that are just crawling, crawling, crawling. I mean, it's pitiful, dude. And my gosh, you want to hear it? At I mean, it's beautiful, dude. And my gosh, you want to hear it at the end? It's going to be a real life. Sounds a lot worse when you say it, right? Sounds good.

Yeah, that really was the most nonsensical ADHD written piece of content we've done. But you know what? Send it, my guy. Kiss the Tispis. And slap my ass like a hoe. Oh, yeah. and um slap my ass like a hoe oh yeah love it dude it's really it's really just the milky boy minute now you know hey we can hey hey milky if you don't have tea or you don't have answer the question, just give me a minute, bro. What are you talking about? Bad drivers.

That's fine. You Matt. Okay. I don't think honking works. The amount of time I get honked out in LA, I'm like, bro, somebody will honk at me.

It'll scare me. It'll fucking hit a car. People getting mad in their cars is the funniest thing. I'm like, really? I'm kind of becoming an LA driver too. And when I say I'm becoming an LA driver, I'm just not on my phone as much.

That's all that means. All that means is like, I'm staying, I'm paying attention more because i'm like whoa everything's crazy out here at least i think that and i paid i'd lock in a little more i'm never on my phone sometimes i don't even listen to the radio when i'm driving so i'm like no mistakes uh but be if you're behind someone that's crawling you're behind me i am not i am not the one

me speeding nope why why because he's being careful no he's forgot the speed limit so he's staying at 40 no matter where he drives am i the only one that can't follow maps if I'm driving somewhere I have one because I have no idea where I'm going in LA I have no idea where anything is I've never been anywhere and I just type it in my phone and go if I need to go to Walmart I'll just say okay what's the closest Walmart to me right now no depending on where I am go there, bro. I went to this Walmart in the hood, Mexican hood. I was like, Oh, I probably shouldn't be here, but I needed a tie or something. And I was like, whatever they got to have some, it was, it was a Walmart. Like I've never seen in my life. It was so weird. It was like a Walmart inside of a mall, you know, like a department store at the mall, like a Macy's.

It was like Walmart like that. It was one floor escalators going up. I was like, what the hell? This is so stupid. I like, I'm looking for this tie. I can't find it anywhere. I'm in this aisle with, and there's this big like Mexican dude in there that looks like, you know, like kind of like hard, bro. hard bro I'm like oh and I like slide by him to like because I'm he's kind of like in the middle of the aisle I slide by him he gives me like a look and I'm like huh did I just like disrespect like did I do something to piss him off and he keeps looking at me and I'm like oh shit he has like knuckle tats and I'm like did I like what did I do but I'm like still looking around like, what did I do?

But I'm like still looking around. He's still kind of like glancing at me and stuff. I'm like, I'm going to get killed in this Walmart. And then all of a sudden his ringtone goes off and it's. And I'm like, oh, bro, you can't have a neck pat. and I'm like oh bro you can't have a neck pat and your ringtone's just wanna be my lover wanna be my lover like but I knew at that moment everything was fine and who still has a ringtone I'm glad he did low-key because i was like he's either gonna stab me or i don't know what's going on right when that

ringtone popped off it was a it was a dance party in the thai aisle let's keep going okay i love you coffee milky thank you boy wow not sure if this one or the other one's gonna play but they do both do dope here's some realty for you baby girl how about when you have a friend allegedly hypothetically who is two-timing his broad for another broad and he's not even he's not even freaking you know he's not even like taking broads out he's literally just on a dating app just to like keep his game fresh for his for his maid for his wife you know excuse it's wrong but at the same time yeah for the record this is not about me i don't do that i'll cheat just for the rack um but you know

but definitely sounds like i do that now right now that i said it's not me but anyway that's it milky boy nasally af so cute boy that's uh we're out that's kind of all i have for you my guy hope you're doing well pussy kisses man milky boy get better soon Hope you're doing well. Pussy kisses. Man, Milky Boy, get better soon. Yeah, bro, if you're in a relationship and you're on a dating app and you're just gaming girls up to keep your game right, that's a lie.

Dating apps, hey, tell me you don't know how to talk to women without telling me. If you're on a dating app, of course it's not going to work. You don't know how to talk to women without telling me. If you're on a dating app, of course it's not going to work. Has anyone actually been in a good relationship from a dating app? I feel like I have to date somebody. I feel like I have to kind of know them a little bit beforehand.

Like, oh, that's so-and-so's friend. You know, I've known of her for like two years. Like, yeah, I know her a little bit beforehand like oh that's so-and-so's friend you know i've known i've like known of her for like two years like i like yeah i like know her a little bit dude just imagine randomly going on a date with somebody that sounds insane oh i have no idea who you are i don't even know your name haha yeah let's go to applebee's just go just meet somebody organically is that is, is it that hard? I don't know. Is this crazy? Is this crazy concept? Just meet, just, Oh, you saw somebody at the store and you liked them. That's, that's the dating app. The dating app is your, your Ralph's or your Kroger. I don't get it. Dating apps. So all the people that you don't want to date are on one platform.

That's what a dating app is. I was like, I don't like any of you. I don't like any of you guys. Thank you for categorizing yourself. That's the tea, babe. That is the tea. We're going to check one more time if there's any more. Doesn't look like it. All right, let's go. Dear diary, dear diary. Okay. Listen to this. I saw this guy on Tik TOK. It was like was like, yo, I'm going to Sonny's Exotics.

It's one of my favorite candy stores. I'll link it in here. And I was like, Sonny's Exotics candy store. That's crazy. Kept watching the TikTok dude. He's recording items, candy that I've never seen in my life. And I'm not talking about like foreign candy that you never heard of I'm talking about like Skittles but they're like dessert flavored Skittles puffs like things that like are out in different countries this candy store which is also like a weed store and like a vape store you know they had bongs and stuff which like. They had like Kit Kats that were sold in like Japan. They had strawberry shortcake Kit Kats. They had Twix biscuits. They had barbecue ribs chips. They had churro chips. Amazing. I got a hazelnut kit kat i got a butterscotch snickers i got an m&m protein bar the drinks they had they had capri suns i've never seen in my life they had a tropical sprite i wish i would have brought it a tropical sprite. I wish I would have brought it. A tropical sprite.

Dude, I was in this store for so long, they were like, has this guy ever been in public before? I couldn't even do who's buying this there. Who's buying this? Because who's not buying this, bro? Gummy worm flavored Pepsi. I'm not even kidding.

Real shit. Amazing. Dear diary. Like if I, that, that might be my new dream job. Forget working in a parking garage booth. Forget filling long john donuts.

Dude, my dream job is just to own an exotic candy place. Dude, think about the guy that's got to order food on the back end or order the candy on the back end that's just searching for crazy candy all day. Most riveting store I've ever been in my life.

Went before Easter. Oh, they're open till midnight every night. God damn it. Just nothing could be more purse. Nothing could be more perfect. Shusha show and tell. Maybe I did bring something from the exotic candy store to show you guys. Sneak peek.

Rotisserie chicken Doritos. This is not a game. It's like they knew I was coming. Rotisserie chicken Doritos. In the gold? Sneak peek. This is about to be on another episode of Who's Buying This. Coming soon, bro.

I cannot wait. And they're Doritos, you know what I mean? If they're Lay's, like, yeah, seems like they'd do something like that. But Doritos kind of doesn't play. They stick to the basics, you know? Nacho cheese, chili cheese, cool ranch, you know? Maybe they come out with something kind of crazy

every now and then. But Doritos kind of sticks to their own beaten path. But you're going to throw some roast chicken flavored chips at me. That's insane. It was buying this. I can't wait to bust that out. It took me everything not to smash into those. And like, they were so nice at this candy store. They were giving me, they were like, yo, uh, take this on your way out. They had an extra something. Because I was having so much fun taking videos. Dude, I'll drop the video on my Patreon.

But like... Oh. Yo. I was sweating at one point in there. They gave me a Hershey's cookies and cream bar. But it was filled with salted caramel. Am I the only one that geeks about candy? I think shit like that is so cool.

Candy and chips you've never seen before dot com. Coo-coo-coo-coo. Cringe moment of the week. Kind of has to do with the same type of same type of thing so i've been seeing this all around then all around the internet the hot dog flavored water i was i marked it down i was like okay i'm gonna find that if it's the last thing i do i'm gonna find that. If it's the last thing I do, I'm going to find that. And they're going to have it in LA, obviously. Hot dog flavored water.

7-Eleven. I'm going. I'm finding it. I go to 7-Eleven in the heart of Hollywood because it's going to be there. I walk in. I buy one of those bear bells. Those protein bars called bear bells.

They're so good. They're just a candy bar. They're so good. But I convinced myself that I needed it. So I bought it. Went up to the counter. Because I didn't want to come in all guns blazing. Went up to the counter politely with an item.

Scanned it. I was like, that'll be $2.46 246 and i was like do you have this hot dog flavored seltzer from 7-eleven he looked at me and started dying laughing like called his homeboy over and i was like, what, and they're like, bro, that is totally for April Fool's, we do not sell that, and I was like, are you sure, and they're like, bro, hey, peanut butter and jelly boy, we don't sell hot dog flavored water, dude, I am the laughing stock of this 7-Eleven, every time I come in, they make fun of me for some shit, stock of the 7-Eleven. Every time I come in, they make fun of me for some shit. I'm sorry. They're my best. I have really no friends in LA. They're my best friends. The guys that just grill me at 7-Eleven. I told a story about peanut butter and jelly.

When I walked in and the homie whistled to his dude in the back restocking the sandwiches, he's like, hey, yo, peanut butter and and jelly boys back. I was like, are you serious? Bro was like, just take it, bro. Take the peanut butter and jelly. You ever been in a situation where you, you, you come into a store for something and then you get embarrassed. So you got to just like pretend to look for other things in the store. That's me. And I go back into the same store. I double down. I'm like, this is a store where they make fun of me for peanut butter and jelly, but whatever. Do you guys have this hot dog flavored water?

I got got. I thought it was a real thing, bro. I'm not even, I still kind of think it is too. April fools. He's an idiot. But there is like a little part of me that still thinks that that's like if I went to I think I'm going to go to a different 7-Eleven

today and check it out. Am I that stupid? I guess. Let's keep going. Days of the week. Days of the week. Thursday, Thursday, today, April 4th,

vitamin C day. I've got one experience with vitamin C and it was when I was so hungry for candy on a road trip. When I was growing up, my dad had a bottle of vitamin C like tablets in his, uh, glove compartment. And he'd make me eat one every now and then, but I just was so bored in the car on like a four hour road trip. I just popped his glove compartment and started eating the tablets. I was like, can I have another one? He was like,

yeah, sure. And an hour later I was like, can I have another one? He's like, all right. You can't eat those. Like, dude, I think I ended up eating like 12 of them When he went to pump gas That's what happens when you're too strict With your kids bro They die and shit They have vitamin C like Overload I probably turned orange that day

But that's my dad's like response to when I'm feeling sick. You need some vitamin C, B? Hey, you need some C? Make sure you're drinking your C. Once that Emergen-C came out in the packets, the powder packets, bro, my dad is so on that. He's like an ambassador for their company.

Every time he saw me, he'd give me a big box of Emergen-C powder. I was like, dude. And it kind of got gross. I drank it so much, it got like disgusting. But there is something about orange juice. I swear to God, there's something about orange juice. God, why do I always...

I didn't know there was that much sugar in it. But like at any point of the day, I am so down for orange juice. It seems like it's just a morning thing, but no. At night, dinner time rolls around. Your mom made spaghetti. I'm like, I'll take orange juice. Friday. Friday National Flash Drive Day Remember when our country

Was a proper country And everybody had a flash drive On their key ring Man those days Insane My whole entire life had a flash drive on their key ring. Man, those days. Insane. My whole entire life was in a flash drive. In college, bro.

They were so convenient. I almost think that's the move still. Where is it now? It's all on Google Drive? Yeah. It's pretty good. Not me running out of space every 15 seconds on my Google Drive, and it's like, clean up space, and I'm like, I'm a hoarder!

I can't! I can't delete anything else! Get that through your head! Stuff I don't need at all. So many of these podcasts, not deleting them. Nope. He's a hoarder, He's a pack rat. Is that hot? Pack rat.

Having it on a flash drive was pretty nice. I never knew, though. I still don't know. Can you just rip a flash drive out? What's it going to do? Has that ever happened to anyone in the history of flash drives or like removable discs? You ever just eject it without ejecting it who's ripping and dipping god i want to be a rip and dip guy so bad i just don't have it in me i wish i had the balls to be a rip and dip i don't i'm a play it safe guy i'll right click and eject and if it says this this uh program is still in use, I'll be like, well, we got to figure this out.

What's running on here? I'll close everything out. Everything's good. There's no programs running on my computer. I press eject, eject disk. This program is still running. Oh, what's going on here then? I'm so by the book when it comes to technology, dude.

I'm such a little bitch. I wish there was a guy that could just plug just pull it pull it but i always have that little fear that when i pull it all files deleted and i go to best buy and i'm like what the hell happened man all my files got deleted and they're like well did you properly eject it? And I'm like, no! That's right. That's my biggest fear. Saturday.

National Carbonara Day. Oh, God. I got the biggest craving the other day for spaghetti. Italian food. I always bitch out too. I've got this golden rule every time I go to a restaurant. It's get a salad with chicken. No matter what. Doesn't matter where you are.

Dude, I went to the Yamashiro. Fancy Japanese place. Known for sushi. I got a chicken Caesar salad. And everybody's like, what the bro, you know where you are? And I'm like, I know exactly where I am. Cause I went off the grid, dude. I was going to restaurants like not too long ago. Well, pretty long ago, probably like five, six years ago. And I was starting to, I started to get chicken tenders and shit. I was, I went on a chicken tender run.

Best probably five weeks of my life I was just getting tendies. Tendies and fries. Whatever. Hey, we're at a restaurant. Live it up, right? No. Because on the way home, I'm like, what did I just do, bro? I'm an idiot. I'm an idiot. What did I just... Why did I just do that? So I make one rule now. Get a salad with chicken

and shut up. Maybe get some cheesecake at the end. Because you're a good boy. Sunday. Coffee cake day. You always talk about food. That's like all you talk about. I know. I know because I'm starving.

I'm starving. Shut up. Shut up, Ashley. food that's like all you talk i know i know because i'm starving i'm starving shut up shut up ashley remember your mom used to buy coffee cake and you're just like i don't get it it's such an adult thing i'm telling you bro you turn 25 things change i think about coffee cake every single day now. Because every day, what do I think about? Ooh, should I get Starbucks? That runs through my head every day. God, Starbucks marketing just got my little stupid monkey brain in a chokehold.

Every day. Should I get Starbucks? Nah, I shouldn't. But if I do, maybe I'll get a little sweet treat too maybe a little maybe a little coffee cake that coffee cake and just a regular pike underrated when your mom used to get that at the store the intimans foil bottom not foil but it was like aluminum bottom in the clear thing on top, clear case on top. And it was called like alligator. You remember that? Oh, what is that called? It's called like gator, gator strudel. Oh my God, bro. Oh my God. No. Gator Grill

what the hell am I talking about I swear it's called like Crocodile Strudel you know what I'm saying alligator pastry bro it just looked like it was called something you call any type of food or dessert it's off of it like from an

animal thing. I'm buying it. Bearclaw. Alligator tail. That's what it is, bro. I think it's alligator tail strudel. Oh my God. It was red raspberry.

It was crunchy. It had crumbles on it. Icing. You dip that in coffee, dude. See you never. See you never. Hey, quick pod, but we did our thing. All right, fam, we did our thing. We did our thing. Uh, I'm really excited about lovers and liars. Make sure you watch that on the CW app for real. It's good, man. And next week or next, uh, next pod, we're doing the lovers and liars. Ask me anything and it's going to pop off. Um, keep your head on a swivel. Your boy might be on,

uh, the news or something. something just saying got a little invite hey do you want to come okay listen to this you want to come on the news ktla and uh promote lovers and liars um and they said i have a budget to find a groomer and i was like what's the budget I shouldn't be saying any of this shit. $500. $500 to have somebody fucking do what? My hair? Hey, babe.

There's a lot going on up here. I don't know what I'm going to do. I'm like, can I just have the money and then just like show up and look decent? Or can I put that towards my next hair transplant but uh i'll be on the news soon for lovers and liars and i'm gonna be on the reality steve podcast i just heard so just uh stay in the loop on instagram got some new content coming out hollywood cat calling Hollywood catcalling Watch Lovers and Liars Subscribe to the Patreon Tell the homies to get on the Patreon gang Buy some merch

Just saying Next week we'll do Lovers and Liars Ask Me Anything I love you fam Thanks for everything Thanks for following Thanks for listening Thanks for joining the Patreon

You mean the most to me Hartford, Connecticut, April 18th. I'll see you there. Ha ha. Fuck. Ha ha. Fuck. I wasn't looking at the camera.

I felt weird. I love you. Bye.