Espresso - Starter Jacket... Instant BFF's | How'd You Meet Your Best Friend? | Espresso Pod 437

Episode Date: September 21, 2026

How did you actually meet your best friend? If they weren't wearing a starter jacket or you didn't absolutely hate them you're not actual friends babe 👯-------------------------------------------------Send this to your homies to support the pod!https://www.patreon.com/benedictpolizzi ☕️FOLLOW ON IG https://www.instagram.com/espressobenny/💕 WATCH BENNY on FBOY & FGIRL ISLAND on HBO MAX🧢 "𝗕𝗔𝗟𝗗"𝗮𝘁 𝗰𝗵𝗲𝗰𝗸𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝟱𝟬% 𝗢𝗙𝗙 𝗔𝗟𝗟 𝗠𝗘𝗥𝗖𝗛 https://benedictmerch.com/-------------------------------------------------*TIMESTAMP CHAPTERS**0:00 - Intro**7:25 - How Do You Meet Your Best Friend?**9:00 - Childhood Best-Friend Origin Stories**18:03 - The Random Celebrity Question**21:42 - Becoming Friends When Someone Falls Down**29:26 - “Bro, Did You Study?” College Friendships**33:18 - How Fashion Creates Instant Connections**36:02 - When Hating Someone Turns Into Friendship**39:42 - The Starbucks Best-Friend Story**45:19 - Why Seeing Someone Be Dumb Builds Trust**49:12 - Becoming Best Friends Over Food**54:24 - The Family Dinner With Almost No Food**59:18 - Sneaking a Friend Into the House**1:07:46 - Meeting Your Best Friend at a Strip Club**1:13:02 - College Classes, Gym Friends & Lifelong Friendships*

And we've literally been best friends for the last, like, I want to say 25 years or so. But yeah, that's how we met. Anyways, you are so fucking hot. Tonight we're getting naughty. Tonight we're really getting nasty. Smooth. We're getting nasty and nastier. All those things on.

Oh, my God. Oh, God. I haven't been singing that all day. Espresso podcast shot 437. I'm your girlfriend, Benny, who was so tired on the plane. he didn't hear it take off or land. He's not the sleepiest man. He's the sleepiest man in the world.

Hey, watch me on F Boy Island and F Girl Island on HBO Max. Were you on steroids on that show? Like, why did you look like a female bodybuilder? Uh, because all I ate for three months was rotissory chicken and I am a female bodybuilder. Watch it with your dad on HBO Max and tell your homies is join the page, babe. If you're not on the page, What are you even doing? What do I get if I join?

You always tell me to join the page. What does that even mean? You get every other podcast like the next one in a live stream at the end of every week. What do you talk about like on the live stream? Like it doesn't even make sense. Do you just talk about how snow cones are actually mid? No, we don't talk about that.

We've never talked about. We've never discussed that. But like honestly though, who's ever been excited for a snow cone? Do you talk about how Carson, do you talk about Carson Wentz the whole time or something? Like who even is? that end. Like, do you always do a live stream when the Vikings are playing? I don't know,

okay? It just happens like that. Or do you just talk about vault energy drinks and how you miss it so much? No, we don't, we don't even bring that. Maybe we do, maybe we do. But you got to find out, join, babe, $5 a month. That's it. You get all your merch at benedickmurch.com. 50% off all merch with code bald, nice, or glonky at checkout. 50% off. We got we out here being nice hoodies and hats, emotional support animal merch. We out here being nice merch. Who's buying this merch? These guys merch.

Sorry I'm nervous merch. Buy some shit. Glonky merch. It's all 50% off. Benadickmerch.com. Let's get to the question in the week. Espresso, Quote, question in the week. This is a, this is a, I'm never,

even thought about this before. How'd you meet your best friend? What was the moment where you were like BFF? We have to be. You don't say it out loud, but there's a there's a moment where you're like, hold up. And for guys, it's like you're eight years old and you're like, we have to spend the rest of our lives doing this. We meet at eight. We talk to each other three times a year, every year until we die that's how guys make friends guys make friends

eight years old nice starter jacket that's literally how I meant my best friend second grade I didn't really have the best friend I was just kind of like I don't know I'm just like cool with people I get I don't know how this works

then I saw a dude walking under the slide at recess Notre Dame starter jacket I was like oh hold up he has as that? And then I started talking about, I was like, what's up? He's like, what's up? And I was like, oh, okay, you're like, cool. Okay, cool. Yeah. All right, all right. And I didn't even talk to him for like a year. Then we were in the same class the next year. And I was like,

ah, ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Boys, my best friend to this day. Haven't talked to him in four years. Doesn't matter. One of my other homies, I was in fourth grade sitting by this dude. We're in clusters in the classroom. I loved when our teacher would organize our desks and it wasn't in rose. It was in clusters. I was like, ha ha ha ha. This isn't even school. This is my little group and we're having a party. Just didn't even seem fair. I couldn't believe they did it. I was sitting by this dude and he like propped his, uh, he propped his head up with his pencil like this. He's like, Yo, you think if I do this, our teacher won't know I'm sleeping? And I was like, oh, yo, yes.

We're friends now. That's all it takes, right there. And he was dead serious. And I think he was right. He just did that for like four hours. What else? I was in an art class one time. Okay, can we get to our stories?

You keep talking about your friends. One more. One more friend origin story, okay? Art class in college. We have to do this project where we're drawing the hallway. I have no idea why, but it's like the last thing we have to do. It's like kind of a pain. It took like three weeks to draw the hallway.

We all just sat in the hallway. And our art teacher came around and was helping us. We were in groups. I was like, I just kept sitting down by this one dude because I kind of knew him, didn't know him really well. And he had a question. He's like, yo, should we like shade that part? like if the lights hitting it

and our our teacher was like you're gonna have to speak up I don't know what you said and he goes oh because the war hearing in the war it was a funny

I could not believe it I couldn't I was like did you just he's like yeah dude I just wondering and from that moment on we probably text like three times a week it's a good friend

how'd you meet your BFF Didn't have the website up. Here we go. How'd you meet your BFF? They came over to my place and I had this chair sitting in the middle of our living room and I showed them that I could do the split. So they showed me that they could do cartwheel and they cartwheeled over the chair but kind of buffed it. And then I knew that we would be in best friend low for the rest of our lives. I just got to have that moment. That's funny because you ever, like, become friends with somebody because they, like, fall down.

God damn it. One of my friends fell out of his chair in first grade, and I was like, I think I relate to you. I think we're going to be friends. Because, like, it's when people get hurt and they start laughing that I'm like, okay, I think we've got something here. Like, if you get hurt and you start crying or getting a bad mood, like, I'm like, a kid, I'm like, God, you're such a bitch, you know? Like, if you get hurt and start laughing, I'm like, we kind of have the same sense of humor

because that was ridiculous. And you know it, and you know it. And no, you don't feel sorry for him. It's his fault. I just remember riding this tiny bike and I, like, flipped over the handlebars. And I was with my friend's family and his whole family was like, oh my God, are you okay? My friend was like, ha ha ha ha ha. And I was like, we're best friends.

Solidified. Oh, my gosh. So for my, how about my best friend? It was when I was doing a show, I was doing a musical. It was right around COVID time. I want to say like 2021. And like shows were just starting to come back because like no one could do them for a while because it was unsafe. So we were doing it at this outdoor theater.

And a lot of us were just excited to get to do a show again at all. And I'm trying to remember. I think the show was called like Missy Like Hell. Anyway, we are all sitting in a circle, like, kind of doing like the initial, like, going over the script and everything. And I see this girl sitting across from me in the circle. And she, like, locks eyes with me. And it was just like a vibe. Like, she had this cute blonde hair.

And she was wearing these, like, really fun, big chunky shoes, like big tall, chunky heels. And they were just, like, cool. and funky and she saw me in like my vintage like 1950s um disney like cardigan um and it was like bright turquoise and she like looked at me and she was like hey like i remember like what she said but she's like i love your cardigan i'm like oh my god i love your shoes yeah and it's like a media like one like fashion uh baddie recognized another so anyway ever since then we've been best friends and that's like my girl so shout out to my girl

Anna, love her so much anyways, love the pod, love what you do you're so funny and you're cute so anyways bye fuck we gotta stop the podcast I gotta go

I gotta go cry in my car I love you what oh this thing's still on yeah dude when you see somebody and they just have the same exact, like, it's, it reminds me of like before your, before a test or something or like a big, it really, it's before a huge test and you see somebody in your class, like, you know, one of the first tests of the year, you don't really know anybody yet or anything. It's like in college,

like you got a huge exam. And you look in the class and you're like, I know that dude didn't study though, you know? And you're like, that's how I would be friends. I'm like, bro, did you, did you look at any of this? And he'd be like, nah, dog. I'm like, all right, yeah, okay, yeah. It's always that. I think that's actually how I made friends in college. Like, before a big pressure situation, you're like, bro, do you even know anything? And they're like, no. You're like, yeah, perfect, because I don't either. And then you have to, like, help each other out. Like, I don't know. It happened so many times. Bro, did you even look at any of this? No, not once. Okay, cool. We're friends now. And then every test, it's the same.

thing. Did you look at that? No. All right, cool. And then maybe you even study together. And when you study, you're like, I still don't know any of this. And you don't even study. BFFs. Yo, but with the what people are wearing, that is like a hundred percent. Like, even if a girl is wearing something, I'm like, I'm kind of immediately attracted to you. Just because, like, honestly, and this is like super, super wild, I can, I can warm up to a tomboy. like four seconds. Like, yo, if I see a girl and she's wearing like a football jersey and you know what I mean, like just some like, you know, I'm like, God dang, let me talk to you all night, like about

nothing. Like just because like I know, I know where your brain is right now. Oh, you're wearing a Detroit Lions crew neck. I'm like, God, I love you. Literally. Let's talk about anything. But if you're wearing like a, hey, if you're wearing a button down,

I'll probably never speak to you. Hi, Benedict. So I ended up meeting my best friend at a healthcare facility when we were, you know, in our early 20s and partying. Anyways, I heard the other staff talking shit about her

because they're like, oh, she likes to dance on bars and get crazy. And I was like, oh my goodness, I have to meet this girl because we're going to be best friends. and we've literally been best friends for the last like i want to say 25 years or so but yeah that's how we met anyways you are so fucking hot like she only left it to say that god i love you you sound hot i bet you

look hotter but good start that was so nice i'm blushing can't wear red and blushed why I'm wearing red. All right, let's see. Can't even think anymore. Compliments. Uh, yeah. Hey, you ever, like, become friends with somebody by hating them first? I think that is so weird. And I don't like it. But sometimes there's just a dude that I'm like, I just don't like you for some reason. And then I'm like trying to figure out why. And I'm like, oh, it's because I love you. You know what I mean? Or it happens like that with girls, too, for me. I'm like, I just can't. stand that girl. And I'm like, why is she pissing me off for no reason? And I'm like, I'm secretly in love with her. Okay, okay, okay, everything's making sense. Like, why, why is that

my first reaction? And I got to like walk it back and be like, oh, it's because I love you. It's because I love you and I don't know how to express it. It's just like, I couldn't figure it out. Probably happened to like, it was like when I got older, like working at a restaurant or something, I'd be like, God, I can't, that girl's like kind of annoying and like, ew, like, why? And then I was like, oh, shit, I have a crush on her. So the way how I met my best friend, okay, for context purposes, I was the agitated Starbucks employee. So my manager came to me, she's like, shy, we hired this new girl. She starts next week, but you have to be nice to her on her, on her application. She messed up and she marked

that she was not a U.S. citizen, but she is a U.S. citizen. And I was like, okay, so the girl's an idiot and doesn't know how to fill out a job application. Got it. Don't like her. Not having it. Don't want to train her. My best friend comes in a week later and I was like, oh my God, this girl is drop dead gorgeous.

Bruneette hair, beautiful big green eyes, long real eyelashes. Just everything like perfect. But I got to commit to the bit. So I'm training her and she's making like an ice car macchiato. And for context purposes, we use standard 2% milk for all our drinks. So she's making a drink. She does a drink correctly. And then at the end, she's like, oh, I got to remake it, huh?

And I was like, why? And she was like, well, I use non-fat milk and not 2%. And I was like, oh, my God, you are so innocent and so sweet. So naturally, I clung to her like a leech. And 14 years later, she's my bestie. Oh, and why does it feel like every person that works at Starbucks hates every other person? Every Starbucks employee hates all their coworkers. I've never seen one of them get along.

That has to be a high pressure job. Because you walk into a Starbucks and I feel like it's just eight women who are like, God! But they have to be like, hey, welcome. But inside they're like, we don't have any more milk. There's no way. I feel you, though. We feel you.

Another way that I become friends with people is by realizing, how dumb they are. Like, I don't like somebody that who's acting all smart all the time. Like, stop, bro. Like, you can be smart, but like, you quit acting smart all the time. Smart, like, you're smart about everything. You know everything.

Okay. You know everything about sports. You know everything about entertainment. You know, like everything. Like, just you have base knowledge is up here. Like, be an idiot. Can you mess up? Like, I don't really like somebody until I see them like literally fall down the stairs.

I'm like, okay, thank God. Jesus Christ. Like, please spell something wrong. Just do something. Say a word wrong just so I can be like, okay, we're on the same page here. Because if you're too smart, I'm like, I don't know if I'm like intimidated by you, but I'm just like, I can't latch on to anything here. Like, please be dumb, please be dumb, please do one dumb thing.

Do one dumb thing. Do one dumb thing. Or do something relatable, relatable, stupid. me and my buddy John both super fat obese kids I went to a small Catholic school got made fun of a lot oh boy only a class of like 20 folks so two of the fat kids um like the only fat kids um like the only fat kids and so the two fat kids starting lunch together kind of like uh prison chow hall He just likes, get attracted to likes. And, you know, started getting double lunch pretty soon. Nice.

You know, chicken tender day, double strawberry milks, double rolls, classic. One thing led to another. I went to John's house one Friday on the bus, didn't tell my parents, showed up at John's house. His mom freaks out, ask for my home phone number so she could call my parents and let her, my mom, know that I was not kidnapped and at his house. And then the rest is kind of history. Started going to John's house on the bus on Fridays, spending the weekend over there to escape my house. his parents live next to a discount hostess factory

So we used to get nearly expired hostess By bulk Stick in the de-freeze and eat it And we used to freeze pop tarts Make ice cream sandwiches out of them And yeah Then we started playing football in high school Became athletes

Now we're 38 Much better shape Not as fat still good buddies but yeah I'm my best friend good god is there a more heartwarming

story story holds a lot of weight dude that just the cherry on top of that fat story was the discount hostess oh my god I'm not fat shaming

because I love fat I love big dudes because that is one way my heart. You know, if you like food, like we're, we're boys. I think that's a, that's a, like, clean cut way to get a best friend. Like, what does he eat? What does he like to eat? Does he eat a lot? Like, I, I really don't trust people who don't eat a lot. And I don't get it either. Like, if you're not, like, being, like, what? That's all you're eating. God, I'll never forget. We went to my friend's house. We don't. We, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we,

We went to Rich Friends House, me and my homie who, like, I'm, who starter jacket, homie. And we, like, we smash food when we're together. Like, if we're hungry, it's like, we're both, like, eating an entire pizza. It's, like, insane. And that's how, like, that you trust somebody that eats a lot. I don't know. We went over to Rich Friend's house one time.

And his mom made, like, dumpling. Like, we just had dinner with their family. You know how you do that at some people's houses? And it's, like, a weird experience because you're like, okay how do they live like what do they do like okay this is going to be like awkward like did they put the food in the middle of the table or is it like you grab it put on a plate and just like do whatever freestyle we're they were sit at a table people so we're like okay and they put the food in the middle of the table and it literally wasn't it was enough food for maybe one person

like my dad would have housed it and I just thought of it I was like I don't know if what's going on with your family for the rest of the time I was like you guys don't eat anything. Like this many beans is supposed to feed five of us? I was like, what is happening here? I don't know. It was a little, a little off. I think you just got to grow up in a family where I just grew up in a family where like my,

I saw my uncles and cousins and my dad. Like he would pile mountains of food on his plate. And I'd be like, like to the point where I was like, There's no way you're eating all that. Remember your dad's plate growing up? Like volcanoes. It looked like

it looked like a Hawaiian island on his plate. I was like there. Damn. Like even today, if I saw that, I'd be like, that is what? All on one plate. No separate. I'm talking Pangia plate.

No separate. That's just like what I was used to So every time I was with my friends We'd be dog in food Like crazy It's a good way to become boys with somebody Dude that sounds amazing You just snuck over to his house on the bus

You know it's real when you're doing that kind of stuff Like when you're younger I did one of those things I did that one time I had my homie over one time And my I was like I was like yeah come over And his mom dropped him off

And then I went up to my mom and I was like, hey, can Taylor come over? And she was like, no. Like, I just anticipated her saying yes the whole time. He's at our house. And my mom's like, he can't come over. You're like, because I like did something earlier in the day that made her bad. She's like, no, he can't come over.

And I was like, okay, what about like in an hour? Because I was like, we can stall like in an hour. And she was like, no. So I got in like panic mode. And I was like, oh, I guess I'll just like, start doing chores, maybe like charm. I started vacuuming and cleaning like hardcore. And she's like, what are you doing?

And I was like, I'm just, I just want to, I just want chiller to come over. And she was like, he's not coming over. He's literally outside of our house right now. Like this dude was just hanging out like by the window looking at me. And I was like, I don't think, bro. We ended up like eating dinner as a family and I was looking outside. I was like, dude, I don't think you're going to be able to come in. So you just had to like wait like a certain amount of time that was like doable to call his mom and be like, hey, can you pick me up now?

Because we didn't have cell phones. It was like weird to explain to his mom. It was so wild. I think after four hours, I was like, mom, he's here. So it's just like, what? I was like, I don't know. He just like came over. Literally just creeping.

just like on the side of our house for hours. And I just kept going outside and being like, I don't know yet, bro. I'm like trying. I don't know yet. Like keeping him posted. He was just like playing with rocks and shit. I don't know, dog. How did you be your best friend?

We met by going to the strip club together the first day we hung out. I invited her with strangers to the strip club. And I thought she knew them, but she definitely did not know them. They drove us 30 minutes to Detroit. and we went to a strip club and she was like, how long have you known these guys? I was like, I just met them today.

And then we were best friends ever sets. Dang. Weird situation friends. Yo, I don't know if I can make friends with anybody at a strip club though. Dude, I got to be the most, I don't know. Salute.

If I was at a strip club, I would be dead quiet. I'd be so awkward. I probably wouldn't even go in. To meet a friend there? How come I always feel like I'm going to get stabbed and shot when I'm at a strip club? Because I will. I got to feel the most unsafe I've ever been in my life.

I've been to like two. I went to one in Florida one time on some like random. Right when I walked in I was like, I'm sorry? You ever walk into a place and you're just like immediate? I'm sorry. I don't know what I did. Me every time I walk into Gelson's on Franklin and Hollywood. I'm like, my bat?

Like, what? Am I not supposed, are you not supposed to wear hats? Why is everybody, what? That's how I feel when I walk in a strip club. Are we not allowed to come in here? What's, what happened? What did you guys say? Like, did I walk in right after you said no more people allowed?

Like, it's such a weird vibe. Trying to think of the most uncomfortable place I met somebody. It's always, it's always college classes. God, when you, when you have that moment, moment in a college, like a college class where you like don't want to be there. You have no idea what the class even is. You're scared to be in there. You're nervous that like you're in the wrong class. And then you like move your head and you see you lock eyes with somebody. You're a call. He's in here. Yes. That's what I imagine that feeling is.

Met my best friend. I was a sophomore in high school. I just moved to a new school. and we were these two nerdy kids that were in some classes like advanced placement classes for college credit with a bunch of upper classmen. And so we're like, oh, shit, do we really belong here? Anyway, that was a long time ago. And we still hang out to this day. That was almost 40 years ago. And we work out together every weekend. And I officiated it was his wedding.

So that's my bro And probably until I die Next week Bro Next week Can't relate Being in a smart class At a young age

Cannot relate But damn I've never found a friend At the gym before You said you worked out together I've never found I'm gonna be completely honest Everybody I've ever met at a gym

I'm like I'd never hang out with you. Is that insane? Like, it's almost like, it's almost like the rule of like not hooking up with your coworker. It's don't hang out with anybody from your gym. It's like, I just,

I think you just don't do that. Like, I'm going to see you tomorrow at the exact same time. Don't hook up with your coworkers. Got it. Don't hang out with anyone from your gym. Done deal. Would never think about it.

Has that ever crossed anybody's mind? Oh my God, I really want to hang out with them. It's almost like don't hook up with anybody from your gym either because you're going to see them same time tomorrow. Is this like awkward? Now you have a girlfriend. You have a girlfriend at 8 a.m. every day. Good luck. You got to change up your whole routine because Shorty could never.

I was a cocktail waitress and my bottle service was like. like, do you want to rip some shots of rumble? And I was like, fuck yeah. And he was a repeat customer. And that was in 2011. And we're still best friends at 38. Hey. A.

Yo. Yeah, that'll do it. God, I remember being such good friends with the bartender at my restaurant because it was the same type of situation. I was like, when I'm, am I ever going to like actually be friends with somebody at this restaurant like to a point where it's not like you know it's like it goes outside of the rest you know what I mean like it's not like a it's not like a we're just like when is somebody going to have my back in this bitch is what I'm trying to say like yeah we're friends but when is somebody really going to like yo like I'm

stressed out get that tape like can you help me like when is that going to happen one time like it was it was just a wild night and I'm like when can I'm actually going to get in the You know what I mean? Like I'm like I work at this rather when am I gonna like be like part of the part of the crew you know what I mean and what and all the bartender was like yo Benny and I was like What's up? It's like yo got this blackberry lemonade nobody's drinking it. Do you want it? You want to like smash it real quick back here? And I was like I'm in I'm in the game Popped a blackberry lemonade on the clock Dude's faded serving tables

a little buzzed. I'm in the game now. Me and the bartender, every time I see him. Yeah, that's all I need of that one little like, mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Oh my God, you drink. I think everybody at a restaurant is under some kind of influence. I started at a new job, and I wanted to get to know more people,

especially people in my community, the LGBTQ community. So someone told me about my future best friend, and so I left him. a note on his desk saying, hey, my name is, here's my phone number. If you want to hang out, let me know. And then a day or two later, I get a text saying, hey, thank you for your note. Just want to give you a heads up. I don't sleep with coworkers. Mind you, nothing in my note.

Just said anything about that. I literally just said, hey, trying to get to know more people. I just moved here. Here's my phone number. You know, text me. Let's do something. That's all it said. His note, his text to me.

right back was, I don't sleep with coworkers. Cut to 15 years later, now we're best friends. I thought you were going to say you guys banged. I wish! That's a bold move, though. I don't know if I could do that. God, man, I wish I was just not like a bitch sometimes. Like, what a, what a, what a, what a like, I don't even know how to, like a, like a,

like a no ego move to like be like, yo, bro, I just don't have any friends. Like, you know what I mean? Like, that comes from like a very honest place. I don't know if I, I don't know if I have that in me. Like, I might just not have friends for the rest of my life. Then put a note on somebody's asking me like, yo. And I'm saying that's a good thing. Like I would just be like a, like a weird dude that didn't talk to anybody for the rest of my life.

And you're out here like, let's get active about it. You know what I mean? I could, God, damn. And I would absolutely love if somebody did that to me. That's the thing. If somebody left a note on my desk like, yo, bro, like, what's good? Like, what is going? Like, what do you do?

I'd be like, thank God somebody asked me this. Because I never know either. I never know anything. Yeah, that's a good way to do it right there. very transparent God I need to be more like that you know what else like hanging out with your

homie in like an odd situation the first time you meet or hanging out with a girl actually in like a weird different situation that'll really like test like what you got going on

I was I hung out with this girl and it was like the weirdest thing and I couldn't say know. She was like, yo, we're having a garage sale. Do you want to like help us with it? And I was like, I can't really say no. And they needed people to like go to the girl. Like they needed people to like know where the house was. So I had to like bark people in. I was like this is the craziest like test of who I am as a person that I've ever done. Like I've known this girl for 15 minutes and I'm like running people down.

I'm like, yo, check out this garage sale around the block. Yeah, address is 1334. Uh-huh, right there.

You can't miss it. Like, but I don't know. I was like, I mean, you gotta do what you got to do in this. Bullets are flying,

man. Hey, who's easy? Everybody would do it. Who are you? Who are you with bullets are flying? Sorry.

But, um, yeah, I had a, like totally like let go of like you know i was trying to like be cool you know how you are with a girl you're like trying to be cool and i was like all right forget being cool like i just got to like i just got to like be an idiot i just got like be myself 100% good good move inviting somebody to go work out with you to insane poll first date first hangout bro let's get a lift oh oh oh yeah i think

that's why it works. I'm friends with a personal trainer. And obviously the first thing we did together, I was like, yo, can you like train me? And he's like, yeah. And once you get along with somebody when you're working out, homies. Homies for life. Wildpole. All right.

I met my best friend playing football in second grade in full pads because that's how you're supposed to do it. Back then, we knew when you're eight years old, you need to smack the hell out of people in full pads because flags are for whims. Then we saw this kid start crying because he wasn't getting enough playing time during practice. It was like our first practice, and he wasn't giving the ball at running back. He got upset. He started crying. So me and my best friend look at each other like, this effing guy.

Look at this guy. That was it. Best friends for the next 30 years. We've been best friends. We've moved to the same city together now so we could remain to stay close as best friends because looking at somebody who's being soft and just being like,

this guy creates a bond that never breaks. Dude, sick. Start to finish. Clean voice message. Yeah, when you identify a bitch, it's a real BFF moment right there. Real down-ass homie moment. like or if someone's annoying and you look at your you make eye contact with somebody and you're

like will they shut the fuck up like that right there is a huge like you know we're going to be friends for a long time if you think the same things are annoying that I think are annoying we're good to go you know you know how I know who's going to be my best friend if there's like a group of people outside and a loud motorcycle goes by and they're like Jesus Christ I'm like you You and me forever. If you can't stand like loud noises, like someone like dragging their feet on the, just those things, bro, then it's just like, yeah, we're meant to be. I met my best friend at my first, you know, adult big girl job, I guess.

We were both microbiology technicians and she was my trainer. and the thing that she did that I was like, yeah, we're best friends is we bought lunch together or we ordered it, we got a DoorDash to our work, and it was like a feast. It was McAllister's and we got like loaded nachos, baked potatoes, sandwiches, and it was all for us. And we went to a conference room. We booked the conference room for like an hour and just ate lunch in there. and like cried about work and shit. Yeah, it was a good time.

And she's still my best friend to this day. No stronger bond than you and your coworker making fun of the rest of the coworkers. And I'm like, are we the only ones that see this? Like, is there another pair of coworkers making fun of everybody else? Probably, but not to the degree we are. are. Like, you and your homie at work,

eviscerating people you work with. Like, and that becomes your whole thing. And you kind of, you might actually kind of become a little bit of a bully at work. Like, people can tell, like, oh, they talk shit. Oh, they talk shit. I can never sniff it out, though. I can, like, it doesn't, it doesn't ever click for me.

I'm like, are they talking shit all the time? or they just like, do they not care? But man, when you find that friend that you can like, you can say some stuff to, it hurts when they like move on too and you're like, I got nobody to talk shit with. Because that's all being friends is though. You know?

Like it, like, like at the, at the default level of being friends, it's like, we're just making fun of everybody. It is for me. Like, if we're clowning on people, we're clown. Like, that's, that's a huge pillar of friendship. Can you clown? Over some food locked in a conference room? Lunch you'll never forget.

Where tonight? Why have you leave me here all alone? I searched the world over and I thought I found true love. You made northern And he was gone Keep Keep doing it Keep going

I don't know who you are I don't know what song that is But this is like the 10th Espresso Podcasts in a row You leave that voice message And if you don't keep going You're banned

How about that? Never banned anybody Everything that I do Be all about the loot i be kicking up dust in my polo boots getting blowed on the droid take a smoke up my nose i give the world to a woman but i don't love hose i'm a player baby and don't you forget it you need to get with it let me hit it then split it in the bed on the floor hot tub every day the player way the player way that's just some swab house right there benny but espresso quick quick question of the

week how'd you meet your best friend i'd say two things starter jackets and fantasy football back in the It was cold AF and a big part of your identity was first impression with your starter jacket. Dog. I should have been rocking the Timberwolves, but I was a major sim for Jordan and got the bulls. But my best friends had cool ones like the Hornets, the Sons, the Orlando Magic. And then that and then fantasy football, which we play to this day. And we're making some pretty good new buddies and connections with these guys, pig skin, classically, which I wish you guys played in.

I'm not sure if you guys got any. ghost teams in there. But anyway, slap my ass with Kirby Smart's sideline visor because he's the best coach in the game. It's so true. If somebody has a dope pair of shoes, I remember

second grade, no, first grade. Two rich kids, bro, they had all the shoes and I was just like, what is it? There's no way. Like, I got to be friends with you a little bit. But it turns out, like I was talking to

about the shoes they were wearing and they kind of didn't even know like the lore i was like oh you guys are rich to be rich you don't even know about this like you don't even know you got those jays on blew my mind i was still friends of them though because they like had it on they had it on and loki if you were a fast kid growing up i'm right there i am friends with you i want to know i want to know your secrets i want to know are you training you Manon. First grade kid was so fast and big. Like kind of like had shoulders. And I'm like, what is happening here that I got held back? This dude was smooth. Dog. You could go on and on, man. I'll never forget. Anthony Elias, bro. The story, the Anthony Elias story. Not a local pod.

bro played up in sports but he was in our grade all the time he was in our recess breaking windows during kickball beating people by 20 yards

in sprints but I'll never forget like the true test of friendship I didn't know when it was going to be why it was going to be what was going to happen but I just realized during first grade

I was being scouted the whole year by second graders. First grader, I'm just kind of like, I'm taller than everybody. Like, I might be a little more athletic because I'm warm. I look older than everybody. Like, I looked like this in first grade. And this dude comes up to me when I'm like just with my friends and he's like, yo, trying to race. And I was like, oh, this is it. Like, this is the friend, this is the like friend combine. Never forget. Hey, Charlie Rao, I don't know what happened to you, bro. Hey, had wheels, though.

We lined up by the basketball hoops, and I was like, where are we going to? And he was, like, all the way down there by the rocks. Somebody called it out. Some teacher, our cool, like, substitute teacher was like, on your mark, get set, go, bro. Everything I had. Like, I was in the Olympics, Michael Johnson gold spikes on the blacktop. cheeks bouncing dude

beat them beat them but I didn't even think anything of it I was like honestly I was like duh had everybody's respect I was like I think I'm the fast kid I think I'm the fast kid

I hate to like brag on this podcast but me and that kid were homies forever after that like we're friends now if you're the fast kid and there's a couple fasts kids get faster when you get older

I didn't know that So we're in fifth grade and I'm like all of a sudden Zach is fast? Every day I got to like prove that I'm faster now? This is a full time job being the fast kid. Oh eighth grade kids are like developing. Andrew hits puberty over the summer. You got mean leg hair. I can't I can't catch him now?

I'm like third fast kid now in eighth grade. This is embarrassing. What happened to me? Guy peaked when he was nine. True friendship test right there. Yo, if you're the fast kid, like I wanted to be homies with you. Like, that was so cool to me.

Girls liked you if you were fast. It was the ultimate, like, I don't know. It was like, oh, you're a rich guy now? That's like what it is now. Like, if you're rich, it's like, you, yeah, you're like up there, which sucks. But being fast in, like, grade school was just, that that was like having money back then what a what a life god dang it can we go back

so me and low key i just i wish it was like that now can you imagine if it was like that now girls at a bar yeah i kind of like him but i like you too so what if you guys went out back and raced you and some 37 year old guy outside at a party I would pull every muscle in my body. Two torn hamstrings off the bone. I literally have the ick. Never mind. So me and this guy had just met earlier in the night

because of a group of girls that we were going to this rave with and then towards the back half of the rave, all the girls were ready to leave and trying to go. And he looked over at me and goes, Fuck that. I'm not leaving. Are you? Oh. And I went, fuck no.

Oh. Oh my God. Meeting my best friend. Okay. That is one way to do it right there, man. Well, I got to listen to this again. This felt good to hear. So me and this guy had just met earlier in the night

because of a group of girls that we were going to this rave with. And then towards the back half of the rave, all the girls were ready to leave and trying to go. And he looked over at me and goes, fuck that. I'm not leaving. Are you? And I went, fuck, no. And so we turned. Don't move.

There's never a guy like that, man. There's been one guy like that in my life that, like wasn't about the girls. God dang it. It's such a strong bond. when you find that one guy that's just like I was like 25 we'd have pre-games at our house all the time we had like the crib it was cool

we had a basement everybody would come over and everybody got to the bars became a problem because like we had to clean so much but that's fine hey it's part of the game man you know what you signed up for but anyway we'd always have like everybody

it out in our basement. Okay, everybody gets Uber's. You know how it goes. It's like 26 people at a house. And then it's like peak pregame. Everybody's getting Uber's. Me and this dude are just playing Def Jam Vendetta on the couch. Like having an amazing time.

Everything's hilarious. Everybody's hilarious around us. The music, perfect. Just the right amount of people. Girls look great. Oh my God. And I'm kind of like, I just, this is what I want to do the rest of the night.

But I know nobody else does. You know? And you're like, I just, there's not a chance anybody else wants to just stay here in these clothes. Like I haven't even made a thought of what I'm going to wear out there. And that's kind of half the battles. What am I even wearing? Kind of half the battle for everything. where are we going to park? What am I wearing?

It's a story for another day. And I just like, you know when you're like kind of, you've been drinking a little bit, you just like, you say stuff that's on your mind that you normally wouldn't say? You just kind of are a little more loose and you're like, fuck it. I looked at him and I was like, bro, I don't want to go. Do you want to go? And he goes, dude, I don't want to go at all. I was like, oh, oh, we're staying here.

He goes, dude, let's stay here and get dominoes. I was like, do. Dude, it just, I almost want to cry. That's how you meet your homies. Tell you meet your best friends. We just played video games the whole rest of the night. Like, people started coming back and they, you know how it like turns into like the pregame. You go out and then you come back to where you pregame.

That started happening and we were already there in the clothes. One of the best nights. and everything was so funny when everybody left because it was just us like just oh my God all right here we go here we go I'm going to start crying

meeting my best friend was a sign from above like literally I was walking through an alleyway at night drunk obviously behind my apartment and all of a sudden from like 200 feet in the air I just hear

you gay and I look up and there was some gay-looking dude hanging off his balcony and we just chopped it up and we just chopped it up and became best friends. Hey, another one, another one. Like, this is probably like not a good thing to say, but I don't care. I actually do care a lot. But like when you're talking to somebody on the phone or in person or just, and you don't really know what they're all about and you like think they're cool but you don't know.

and they say gay or they like they say like you know what i mean any of those and you're like okay all right like yeah okay i love you i actually love you skip friendship i love you like they just got to say one thing that you're like there it is and you know exactly what i'm talking about. God. Yeah. Or like they completely, they just show you like one time. We're at a comedy club and there's a guy on stage. And I was like, I mean, he's cool. Like, whatever, he's cool. And the guy I was talking to was like, you're not going to convince me of that. And I was like, oh, you don't like him? And like, why? does that like just somebody being

100% honest with you or just saying you call somebody gay that's not actually gay why am I like you know exactly what I mean you know exactly you know we're on the same level

all you got to say it's all you got to say Ben it's your boy Chinner hey uh doing this late so I kind of forgot the question I hope I remember it but I think it was how did you meet your best friend um i met him at indiana land wearing a cool uh black racing uh jacket

but not how i actually met my my actual best friend uh fucking middle school sixth grade you know how like you're lining up to go into into the school all the classes were lining up outside you know when it rains they don't want you standing out in the rain getting pneumonia and shit So they bring you into the gymnasium and all sitting in long-ass lines sitting there, dude and his brother sitting behind me. And we just started talking and we became good friends. They moved to Crown Point as soon as high school started. So I lost touch with them into like 2016 and linked up with them again,

all because of a Blackhawks playoff game in 2016 against the St. Louis Blues. but uh yeah pretty much how we became friends we're still good good friends today uh really i'm trying to talk with this fan uh fan is loud as hell listen to this shit i don't know if you can hear that or not but it's loud to me but i'll talk to you later ben love you ta ha ha ha ha why did i picture like an old fan that you find in your grandpa's basement right next You know those fans that like It's in every grandpa's basement It doesn't have like it has like the

Like the worst cage around the fan of all time Like you can put your whole fist in the fan It could slice your entire hand off That's what I just pictured Yeah bro Blackhawks, blues Oria Actually you meet somebody that likes the same team as you

You have no like you have no choice you have to be friends with them I remember told this dude I like the red wings just because I'm like from Michigan but like I was from there until I was four years old so like not really

but like my family like the red wings did I say redskins my family like the red wings so I was just like I think I do too and uh I told them I like the red wings and like every day in high school school P.E. We had like high school P.E. Fourth period. And after fourth period, we had

announcements. And announcements, weirdly at my high school, not a reminisce a podcast, was like 35 or 45 minutes long of them like saying stuff over the speaker. Like this team, that team, this, this, uh, like club, like there were just so many announcements in high school. And it was amazing, like how long it took, honestly. But we were, we would just be in and we'd just be sitting on the floor in PE after our PE class listening to announcements. And he'd come over. And they were so loud, too. Did every high school have announcements?

Bye, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba. Let's give three cheers for our cross-country runners. Wah, wah, wah, and they beat them last night. The Pike Red Devils with a sweep. Like all this. And the theater club's going to be three to seven tonight for the theater club. Like, it was just like a, um, billion and lunch we got lunch and i was like oh my god so overwhelmed but it was every day

packed full of announcements amazing and it was so loud that's all i remember i think that's where i became like super sensitive to loud noises like third period no fourth period when i was like a junior i had announcements in this i was in there i was in like uh u s history or something and after fourth period and after fourth period U.S. history we had announcements and the speaker

was right above my head about ba-b-b-bap just some guy just our principal wab-pap-pap-pah-pah just 45 minutes of what wab-pap-pap anyway

anyway yeah this dude I had P-E with during announcements would come talk to me about the Red Wings for 40 of the 45 minutes and I was just like I didn't really know anything about them

but I just kept like, yeah, bro. Like, I just, I just had to rock with him. Because I'm like, we both like the Red Wings were friends forever now. It was just part of the game. I don't know. Yo, you watch the Wings game last night? Every day. Nah.

He'd tell me all about the game. And I'd be like, no way. In low key, I couldn't hear a word he said because Wababababha, wababababab, w three 30. Bup, blah, blah, blah. Crazy. What up. So how I met one of my best friends was I was actually one of his enemies first, and then we became friends.

And I feel like that happens a lot where you either hate somebody and then you become friends with them or even a girl that you may hate or never see yourself with and then you end up being with them. But long story short was back when I was like seven, I was in recreational basketball. I was the best person on the team. I was scoring about 20 points per game. the coach's favorite player I was shooting the ball every single time complete ball hog didn't pass to anybody especially the kids that sucked on the team

he was one of the kids that sucked on the team he was so pissed off that he quit midseason from the team we didn't know each other either because this is the time where you know when you're younger and there's different schools that the kids go to and then you don't you know rekindle until you're in middle school that that's when you you know see all the kids in your town so he ended up quitting the team

I had a fight with him where he was like, I'm quitting, blah, blah, blah. And I said, get ahead, you suck anyway. And then years later, we get to middle school. We end up being in the same class and we end up just squashing it. And we were a little mature, you know, a couple of years later, like, you know, six, seventh grade. We were like, hey, remember I was on your team, da, da, da, da. And then we end up becoming best friends. We realized we had a lot in common.

I think that he was just wanted to, like, be friends with me because I think that, since I was good, like even though he hated me, he probably saw that like, oh, this guy's cool. He's the best one of the team. I also had the best gear wearing headbands, you know, had Iversons. I had all that stuff. So I think he was kind of envious of me. But yeah, we're actually best friends till this day, 30 years. We're in each other's weddings.

And that's the story, you know, if you've become friends with your enemies. All the time. It's the one you hate them. most too. Like there's some guys out there that I hate, I hated. But I just know. And we never got to a point where we were friends either. I just never had the moment with them, you know?

I never had the like, yo, you're trying to chill sometime? Like, I never. But I know we would have been best friends, man. It's just like it sucks. It's like you don't have that opportunity. Like, and I think they know too, weirdly. just thinking about all. It's all athletic people, honestly.

It's all people that I was like, man, I never beat you in the 40, but like, I love you, bro. I secretly love you. It's all, dude, guys at camps over at summer camps, dude, that's literally a reason why I want to have a son so bad so I can send his ass to every basketball camp.

Because the things you learn and the people you meet, there are guys I think about still that I met at basketball camps. I'm like, I wonder what he's doing right now. Like dudes that you're like, God, he was so cold. Like, I just remember. And I was like, I wonder where he's going on.

Just unstoppable dudes like at basketball. I remember there's this dude named Titus every year. He like wasn't black, but he wasn't white. He always had the best shoes. And he was just taken over at basketball camps. You know, it was like a one-on-one thing. like he would be the king of the court forever i was like that dude is so cool bro who is that and you start dressing like him and you start like you see him like standing a certain way you

literally start standing like him dude and if you can they're like a celebrity at the basketball they're just a regular guy but like they're so good you look up to him and you're like is howly who where is he from there's so many guys like that i'm like what happened to him you know like where do you go to high school did even play like sometimes guys like that don't even to play high school basketball. You're like, what? How? Then you go to the next year and there's another kid.

You're like a different kid and you're like, oh, that kid's sick. And then maybe one year, bro, you're the kid. Always had the cool shoes, though. Always had. It's the guys on the other teams that you hate because they're so good and they have the cool shoes. But you know, like, yo, if we went to the same high school, we would be boys. Weird guy shit right there.

real guy shit all right it's two days kind of heartwarming a heartwarming espresso question Thursday dumplings day talked about it earlier can't trust you or your family if you don't eat a lot of food it's just so weird to me and if you don't there's it's it's if you don't smash food around me and if you don't laugh so hard you almost die in front of me I don't really I don't really know who you are as a person. If a person, like, if I haven't seen a person, like, die laughing, I don't know. I think they're weird. Like, that's step one of being a best friend with me. I'm like, we need to have a seizure laughing and, like, cry and, like, fall down a little bit. I got to have that moment. Or even with, like, a girlfriend, I'm like,

we need to, like, have a laugh moment. That's so crazy. You think, dude, I'm, I'm thinking back to, like every relationship I've had and like the ones like the ones that like weren't that good we didn't really like have a have a crazy laugh and I'm talking about a crazy laugh not like five seconds I'm talking about like we don't talk for a minute and then you bring it up and it starts again you know what I mean like you're in different rooms like pounding on walls that I love that. But I had, like, I can think of a couple of those with girls I dated and the ones that I didn't, I can't remember them laughing. I'm like, didn't like you that much. Oh, shit. Like, are you scared to like laugh in front of me? What do you mean? That's the best part of life. I can't wait to

break down. Dude, when somebody says something funny, I almost want to roll out of the car. It's so funny. I just love it. Gotta have that moment. And you have to eat like an actual Rottweiler in front of me. Friendship moments. Mm-hmm. Eat a whole pizza then,

so I know we're friends. Eat a whole pizza so I know it's real. Accidentally eat so much food that you're going to have to throw up so I know it's real. Eat so much food that you have to go to bed at 3 p.m. So I know it's real. Friday.

Cheeseburger Day. I thought... Tonight we're getting naughty. Tonight we're getting really nasty. That song's been in my head for three weeks. Life hack. I'm to... I'm to the point and some of you guys are going to be like, come on.

I don't know if I'll ever eat a cheeseburger or hamburger or whatever with the bun ever again. I know it sounds insane. But sometimes I'm literally like, what is the point now? after you don't do it I'm like what am I missing I don't eat the bun I'm like

this is amazing I eat the bun I'm like why do I even eat the bun though it's part of it I don't need it I don't need it oh god

God go on she's Saturday love your lunch day it was kind of nice huh I really think that corporate offices

should all have a cafeteria like your high school or like a college. Wouldn't that be amazing? Like, why wouldn't you want to work there? Corporate office, what if your corporate office just had uniforms and a cafeteria? Who's not working there? I don't have to pick out my clothes and free lunch. What's the big deal?

That'd be amazing. I would work there for my whole life, probably. Can we restore the order? I'll never forget in high school. Because I was like foreign to hot lunch because my parents always made me bring my lunch because it was like cheap. And we just did it my whole life.

I just didn't know. I was like I. And every time I had to buy hot lunch like on a weird day where like I don't know, maybe we didn't have food or something. Like I don't know. Sometimes I just had I had no idea what to do at high school. I was like in the dark.

I'd have to like weirdly ask my friend like bro, what do I how do I do this? I'd be like so I so like I have like five dollars and I go up there. I was like what door? It's always what door. What door gives me so much anxiety? My whole life of anxiety is what door? You pull up to a building you got to go in for the front. What door?

God damn it. Why are there 17? doors around the whole you ever walk around the whole damn building what door in the cafeteria what what door okay that's the one for pizza what what if i don't want pizza like what i just felt so out of place buying hot lunch but i did one time and my dad was like you you can buy lunch today and he gave me like way more money than i needed because he didn't know my parents never knew anything about anything I was doing. So my dad probably gave me like 10 bucks for lunch. It was probably like $3. So I was like rich. Yo, remember those high school lunch cookies? They're like the first

cookies you have in the real world. You know, you eat the cookies your mom baked for you your whole life. Maybe you have some weird cookies at school. Somebody brought. Maybe you have a cookie with like at like subway it's not bad but that first real world cookie you had that you're because you see a cookie sometimes

and you're like do I take a chance on this because cookies are they're like you know they're like they're like a Kroger cookie where you're like really underwhelming honestly why do I even eat that or it's like a cookie that

literally you never forget There's been like a couple cookies where I'm like, I'll never forget that. High school lunch cookie had to be number one. What were they doing to them? High school lunch cookie in the little baggie, not even as not, it was a baggie, the fold baggie, the poor people baggie said, all it said on it, cookies. Cookies and they slap so hard. underbaked to the max

salmonella cookies medium rare you know what maybe even raw dude those things you took those out of the back falling apart there were chocolate stains all over the bags from the chocolate chips on the inside it just looked like a massacre

and you think about it and those those looked like gold at lunch. I'm like, that is a bar of gold. Those two chocolate chip cookies in that bag at high school lunch, nothing hit like that. And I promise

at every high school in the country, they change the recipe like when you're a junior and you're like, no! Who asked for this? They were perfect! Now they taste different and I just have to get used to this. What happened to the cookies? that I used to know. Never forget high school lunch cookies.

And everybody thinks their high school had the best cookies. Everybody. Nah, no, you should have had the cookies at our high school. You should have the cookies at our high school. You should have the cookies at our high school. They're all the same.

They're all in the baggie. They're all in the poor cookies baggie. People would put those in their purse. Like girls would have cookies in their purse and like later in the day be like old chocolate purse. old chocolate nails seventh period math

they were so warm people would put them in there they would get shakes your big O'Linman friend with the stretch marks putting cookies in the shake and the luxury never forget high school chocolate chip cookies

Sunday string cheese day I mean it's up there If we're rating forms of cheese, I got to look this up real quick. God, there's so many cheeses, bro. Cheese might actually run our brains. Does cheese control our brains?

Oh, my God. If we're talking about the top three, oh my God, top three forms of cheese. This is so tough. I'm going to try to do this. quick. I think grilled cheese has to be number two. I know why are you starting with two first? I don't know. This is hard. What's the best cheese I've ever had in my entire life? I remember I was with this girl one time. I was helping her babysit. Sounds ridiculous. I know it was. And she got a burrito from Kudoba and it was the first time I've

ever had a burrito from Kudoba. You ever take a bite of a girl? You ever take a bite of a girl? Girl's Burrito from Kudoba. It's like nothing you've, it is like, what? There's no nutritional value in it. This girl's like, do you want a bite of this? Like, I don't know if I can finish it. And I was like, all right, let's see what this is all about. First time having Kudoba literally bit into a block of, like, I bit into a block of cheat.

It was only rice and queso. Maybe one black bean. I was like, it tasted amazing. But I was like, at that moment, I think it was the first time I had queso. I was like, that's why. The best form of cheese is queso. It is. I don't even regret saying it.

It's just every time you have queso, you're like, god dang. Like this is like addicting. It like feels elegant, special, sexy. Casso got to be number one Grilled cheese got to be number two I mean just damn And three Oh do a

Cheesecake Oh Top three forms of cheese Number three cheesecake Number two Grilled cheese number one Koso It is what it is right

It's right I need to know I need to know I need to know Top three forms of cheese Three cheesecake Two Grilled cheese

One queso It might be three Grilled cheese Two cheesecake one Koso Oh my God Strong, strong opinions What do you talk about

In your podcast You like never talk about? This is what I want to talk about Top three cheeses What about All right let's go Coach Piquot of the week Break

every barrier. Assumptions and distractions are the cause of almost all underachievement. God, man, you want to get humbled. Just listen to the Coach P. Court of the week. Literally. And if you also want to get humbled, this is what you do. You go to your hometown dentist. Just got back from the dentist.

I've never been more embarrassed in my entire life. Just the one to... And I'm a nobody, but just, it's so embarrassing. Yeah, this, I don't know, like the dental hygienist has been in my mouth. Like, like, looking at my entire life in my mouth, knows everything about me by my teeth and what I eat. You just know, I don't know what secrets dental hygienists know. But when they're in your mouth, they can tell when the last time you had sex, was.

When's the last time you smoked anything, drank? They know all the dirt, dude. They know all the Carfax. All the crap you eat. I feel like they just know every... It's like when a dentist goes in your mouth, it's just a receipt of all that crap you've done. And then the real dentist comes in there,

and she's like, oh, I don't know if you know, but Benny's kind of a big deal around here. I'm like, no. Yeah. He like, he knows my cousin Derek. They try to do stand up every once in a while. I'm like, I'm just gonna kill myself. Oh, that in the dental hygienist, that's cool, like doing something.

I'm like, what? This is what you do? This is the price you pay. It's the price you pay. Like literally just don't, just, just don't say anything. So what's coming up next? You doing a little thing somewhere? I'm like, I got to.

I gotta go, yo. Literally, punch my teeth out. Knock my teeth out and send me on my way with my little goodie bag. I don't need them anymore. All right, yeah. Bresso Pod, 437. Love you guys. See you in the live stream on Sunday.

Talk to you next week. Love you guys, for real. Taha, fuck.