Espresso - the most romantic man

Episode Date: February 3, 2022

👕 🔥 𝗠𝗘𝗥𝗖𝗛 𝗜𝗦 𝗛𝗘𝗥𝗘!🔥 🧢 ↓ buy some shit ;) influencedby.co/collections/ben-polizzi 🔒 𝗷𝗼𝗶𝗻 𝗺𝘆 𝗽𝗮𝘁𝗿𝗲𝗼𝗻 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝗲𝘅𝗰𝗹𝘂𝘀𝗶𝘃𝗲 𝗽𝗼𝗱𝗰𝗮𝘀𝘁𝘀 𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙮 𝙬𝙚𝙚𝙠 (𝗼𝗻𝗹𝘆 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗳𝗮𝗺) https://www.patreon.com/benedictpolizzi ♦️ 𝗦𝘂𝗯𝘀𝗰𝗿𝗶𝗯𝗲 𝗼𝗻 𝗬𝗼𝘂𝗧𝘂𝗯𝗲 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝗺𝗼𝗿𝗲 𝗰𝗼𝗻𝘁𝗲𝗻𝘁! https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCXRwNZpU67AK24r5QGfIfCw 🔹 𝙙𝙤𝙣'𝙩 𝙛𝙤𝙧𝙜𝙚𝙩 𝙩𝙤 𝙧𝙖𝙩𝙚 & 𝙧𝙚𝙫𝙞𝙚𝙬 ;) we're opening the espresso vault from (7/31/20) this week Ben tells about his time going to the doctor for the first time in 600 years, he reenacts the time he had to pee in a cup with a man looking directly at his dick, he talks about the hottest grandma he's ever seen, he explains the time his mom tried ordering ordering at McDonalds to the trashcan instead of the speaker and creates a law stating thy will not order a frappuccino at work 🔸𝗦𝗲𝗻𝗱 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗵𝗼𝗺𝗶𝗲 𝗮 𝗖𝗮𝗺𝗲𝗼 𝗳𝗿𝗼𝗺 𝗝𝗢𝗛𝗡𝗦𝗢𝗡: https://v.cameo.com/E48BXekQ29 🔹𝗧𝗶𝗸𝗧𝗼𝗸: https://www.tiktok.com/@benedictpolizzi?source=h5_m 🔸𝗜𝗻𝘀𝘁𝗮𝗴𝗿𝗮𝗺: https://www.instagram.com/benedictpolizzi/ 🔹𝗧𝘄𝗶𝘁𝘁𝗲𝗿: https://twitter.com/benedictpolizzi

Okay, okay, okay, okay That's me when I successfully hold on That's me when I successfully turn on a TV that's connected to a cable player in a soundbar. Hold on. Me when I remember my CVV. Oh my god, seriously. I've had my same credit card for three years. What's up?

Is that your area code or your CVV? What's up, dude? Shot 116. I'm here. I don't know why I just laughed like that. Like I'm a mad scientist. I'm here. Ha ha ha ha. I don't know why I just laugh like that. Like I'm a mad scientist. I'm here. Let's talk.

Let's talk. Let's talk about sex. No. Let's not. No. Let's talk. This whole podcast is just about sex. Who wouldn't listen, honestly?

Ew, gross. He talked about sex for like 40 minutes. How'd you know? Oh, well, I listened to the whole entire thing front to back. All right. So remember to follow on Twitter, Instagram, TikTok, and Cameo at Benedict Polizzi. Remember to get a cam, too, you know? Like I was talking about last time, I can be any character.

I can be Coach Racco. Wow. Yeah, I can be Coach Racco. I can be Ashley, our producer in the studio, who's also kind of the same. It's She's Sisters with with Shelby the girl who does the makeup tuts and by tuts I mean tutorials but yeah and I can do Johnson here obviously so any well or I can just be myself I like it when people are like yeah do a cameo but just like say stuff for a minute and I'm like, all right, those are fun, but anything works.

So yeah, I, uh, had a goatee for five hours. Wow. How about edging that thing up? Edging that muff. Isn't it just a muff? Like anytime you see somebody with a goatee, doesn't it just look like a muff? Don't they just look exactly like a beagle? This is me. This is me right when... I edged up that right side. Here it is.

Just... You know the razor on skin it's like and i like wasn't even cutting any i wasn't even shaving any hair i was just like doing it repetitively thinking it was but it wasn't here's the noise it made when i made that last edge up right there right when i hit that that last you know it's like good to go like definitely good to go actually it's just that last part right when i hit that final under my chin that final one you know like kind of the razor goes down the rest of my neck bang and i'm done i bang the razor off right after hit it goes down my neck I'm done dude by the way if

you bang the sink after you're done doing dishes you're my dad oh every time he's done doing dishes this on the sink I'm like every every single time since I was six I think I think it's just two, actually. He's like, he's been doing it for like 55 minutes and then... Like how... Done. That's what he says in his head. He's like,

done, damn it. I wish. But yeah, I had a goatee. And when I have a goatee, it's pretty much like i don't know automatically like watch your girl girl jk obviously just kidding but watch her imagine every guy with a goatee really thinks that, though. Like, after they clean up their face, everything fresh shaved,

they walk out of the house and they're like, Hey, honey, how's it going? Oh, you look good. You shave. You look great. And they're like, yeah, thanks. But in their head, in the back of their head, they're really like, I can bang anyone I want. I really do. Oh, man.

Yeah, so right when I have a goatee, basically. Right, like literally right. Right when any guy has a goatee and walks outside their front door, it's just this. Okay, right when this is every guy, it just slapsaps on a fresh wet goatee this is them walking down downstairs and out of the house like knocking some down like on like just like on the stairs you know you put stuff on the stairs because you don't want to take it all the way upstairs you just put stuff on the stairs you're like i'll take it up when

i'm going up that's what they're knocking down. Walking down the stairs. Kicks over some shit. Honey! This is them right when they walk out the door. They don't say shit. They just... Unlock it. Then this. Kane is in the field. It's Mr. Stereo Girl.

It's Mr. Stereo Girl. Hey, girl. Hey, girl. Hey, girl. Hey, girl. Hey, girl. Hey, girl. Hey, girl. Can you imagine that right when they open the door in the morning and say, like, hey,

Rick, the neighbor. You're just like, yeah. Right here. Kane door in the morning and say like hey Rick the neighbor you're just like yeah This though this just like him in the studio say something to start the song Trey, okay fine. I'll just say anything! Yes!... ... ... ... It's his son in the background now doing the Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhilllllllllllll Hey, Dad, just like yesterday. Yep. Unlocks the door. Honey, don't do it again. I already have my shoes on.

Hit it, Timmy! Dismiss the steel, girl. Keep going, Timmy. Dismiss the steel, girl. One more time, Timmy. Keep going. Dismiss the steel, girl. Come on.

Bottoms up, bottoms up. Anyway, that's when us gents have goatees. That's what goes through our heads. Nothing crazy. Alright, let's talk. Let's just talk it out. Had a doctor's appointment today. I god what was it for I know everybody I know even my mom's like what was it for what how nosy is everyone I hate telling people I have a doctor's appointment because they immediately think I have like stem cell cancer like dude

they're just they just ran a couple tests like just to make sure i'm not the most romantic man in the world imagine that like the test for that they're like uh we're gonna have to take your blood pressure my blood's like boiling hot. Oh my God, he has the hottest, thickest blood we've ever seen. Are we, is this the guy we're running the tests on to see if he, yeah, yeah. To see if he's the, yeah, yeah. No, you don't even know what I'm saying.

Yeah, I do. To see if he's the most romantic man in the world. World. We're going to have to. We're going to have to listen to his heartbeat. Okay. Get the get the get the stethoscope. Okay. All right. Okay, Mr. Polizzi. We're back. Yeah, we're just going to listen to your breathing pattern, your heartbeat. Yeah, so just relax. And me relaxing is just like doing like that Baywatch pose on the crinkle paper. doing like that that baywatch pose on the crinkle paper all right yeah so uh yeah we're just gonna have to i'm just gonna have to put my hand up your shirt here to go on the stethoscope and right when she puts her hand up my shirt it's like the most heat ever she's like oh oh god oh

oh my god the doctor's in there he's like is everything okay she's like yeah it's fine it's fine the doctor's sweating his ass off though because he's like holy fuck it's so hot just beads of sweat on his face but he's not wiping it off because he doesn't want to like he doesn't want me to know that he knows that i am the most romantic man so he's like is everything okay and you just sweat everything is drenched in sweat even like his doctor coat is like his armpits you know it's like all the way down to his like his waist that's how sweaty is his face just so many beads of sweat on his face.

And the nurse is like, oh, God. It's like super hot. It's like you know when you go in your car, you know when you're in a really cold building for a long time, like work, and then you get in your hot-ass car that's been baking in the parking lot, you're like, oh! That's what it feels like under my shirt it's like oh god her hand just when she when she takes her hand out of my shirt it's just like a skeleton

bone it's just a skeleton hand yeah on the middle of my that cold part of the stethoscope you know every time it touches you at the doctor you're like oh god fuck but you don't say it but in your head you're like oh fuck that right when she puts it on my chest. Oh, God. They're like, he has this heartbeat. Actually, for some reason, all I could hear was the bold and beautiful theme song.

What? The guy's so sweaty. He walks over there, but he slips on his way over, and he's like, excuse me. She's like, listen for yourself. And at the same time, I have, like, headphones in this whole time. I'm not even like paying attention but there's just flowers all over that weird doctor bed god doctor listen for yourself he's like let me see it snatches it out of her hand

ruffles it puts it in his ears Jams it up to my chest Outside of my shirt, doesn't even go up my shirt Cause the nurse's hand is a skeleton Jams it, puts it right on the front of my chest Right when it touches the cotton on my shirt. I'm just sitting there. The doctor's like, Oh my god.

The nurse is like, I told you! The doctor's like, no, no, no. This is way worse. His heartbeat is the same pattern as the young and the restless. Weekdays on CBS at 11 a.m. Oh my god! Oh my god! The doctor starts crying I can't I don't know what to do what do you mean we have to do something the thing we have to do is we have to declare a state of emergency oh my god yeah

reach out to all the local news channels we found the most romantic man in the world the world. All the nurses, no, everybody in the hospital that's like sick and like can't move, they all get up and leave. Everywhere I walk in the hospital, there's just roses that fall out of my pants behind me. Oh my god. Everything's healed in the whole hospital, except for the nurse's hand is still a skeleton.

She's like, I like it like that. I swear to god oh my god okay what else anyway what else is going on what else should we talk about normal podcast so far no but seriously I had a doctor's appointment and they were like I hate hate how doc, like how many times do I have to tell them my date of birth? Literally leading up to this doctor's appointment, they called me 17 times and I, they asked me for my date of birth every single time. I was like, Oh my God. Like, I don't care. And it's not hard to but jesus christ like okay right when i get there date of birth i'm like jesus christ not even my name in the lady talking so quiet i was like you work at a hospital i can't even hear you

we need to check your voice box date of birth i like, Jesus Christ. Here we go again. Okay, then I wait in the waiting room for a while. By the way, it was the dirtiest waiting room. I was like, why is this hospital so roughed up? It wasn't dirty. It was just like, I'm not putting

my hands on any of this. The kitchen at the restaurant I work at out literally cleaner than the hospital i was in right when they're like benedict and i was like oh wow that was actually pretty quick but it was only quick because i was 30 minutes late and i was 30 minutes late because why wouldn't i be to a doctor's appointment? So arrive at 1 o'clock. Your appointment? Probably 4.15 p.m. So Benedict, and they took my weight,

and I was like, oh, shit. I wasn't ready for that. But I stepped on. I wasn't bad. I was 197. I was like, okay, been that since fourth grade. Keep it rolling. They're like, oh, real quick.

And I was like, oh, what? Can I have your date of birth i was like oh my god you guys better be sending me a goddamn cheesecake on my birthday email it to me god give me a sash can i walk around here in a sash the amount of times you asked me for my for my birthday man you guys should give me an ice cream cake and a pizza party on the way out yeah but it was cool and then i had to like pee in a cup i thankfully had to pee this time so that was good usually they're like oh we're gonna need to you're gonna need a we're gonna need to get a urine sample.

Like, what am I doing? Am I going to the moon? What do you guys need all this for? Like, yeah, we need a urine sample. Do you think you could? And I'm like, oh, wow. I should have just poured a, seriously, I should have just poured an iced Americano in the pee cup.

They're like, we got your results in, and you did. Everything was fine. Everything was fine, but you did test positive for pumpkin spice latte. Oh, gosh. So what were you doing drinking all that? Oh. So, yeah, it went well. Doctor's visit went good

there's something else i was gonna say oh oh oh one time i had to give a urine sample i hate the word urine more than p when i played for you indy we had to like get up and take drug tests all the time because we were all on steroids. No. Because, yeah, we looked like we were such a steroid-using team. It was, like, 12 white guys from, like, the South Deanery High School Association on an NCAA team. No, but we always had to take drug tests.

And, like, we had to get up at... We had to do them at 7 a.m. So our athletic trainer was like, here's the key. Here's the key. Here it is, in front of the whole team. He was like, when you wake up, do not go to the bathroom. Hold it. Hold it.

Walk over to the training room. That's when you let it loose you know you always gotta say something like kind of gross at the end so the football guys are like we gotta let it loose but like that's what we had to do and of course

right when I woke up I went to the bathroom and then halfway I was like oh yeah and I had to stop it you know you gotta stop it and you're like oh that for like that three seconds

you're like i think my bladder is gonna explode and so's my ass somehow i think my ass is gonna pop yeah and for some reason i couldn't like the guy has to watch you pee when you're taking a drug test like that's just what he does he has to watch you pee because people really take steroids and then bring fake pee in and like do that so the guy like had to like watch but not watch like he'd be like looking but not looking because he didn't want to be weird but he still had to make sure he didn't have like a fake yeah a fake Yeah. A fake pepe. So I couldn't go for some reason because I kind of already like 75 percent already went out. So I was like and I couldn't I was like, maybe I was like, I'm not freaked out by you, dude. But just like I already kind of went just look, just give me a second if you don't mind.

And he's like, OK. And he waited like one minute. And then like, I was like, I think it is. I think it is. And he was like, okay. He's still kind of like a little too close too. So I was like, so weird. But hold on. It's almost there.

And dude, this is what he did. He went up to the sink where you wash your hands. And he started like trickling the water so to the faucet he was like then i was like, oh. I was like, yeah, that's helping. Oh, my God, I love you, sir. And I was like, you know what? I think it's, I think we're almost there. Ah!

No, but I was like, is that warm water you're doing that with? And he was like, yes, sir. And I was like, it's filled up. He's like, thank you. See ya. Bye. Just walked out of there like nothing happened. It was like the most sexy moment of my life. Yeah, so this podcast is brought to you by the church of christ remember

always talk about good things nothing crazy yeah that was crazy okay nikki minaj is getting nikki How long have we been doing this for? Like 40 minutes? Nicki Minaj is pregnant? Wow. Can you even imagine her baby's name? I don't even want to think about it. Can you imagine her baby's first words? Nicki, oh my God, what a cute cute baby what were her first words really really really really Nikki Nikki Nikki what's the craziest shit Nikki Minaj ever says

hold on it's probably in that same Trey songs this. This is Nicki Minaj's kids' first words. Nicki, oh my god, your baby is precious. What were its first... It's like E! News is interviewing the baby. E! News is like, Nicki, oh my god, can your baby say something? It's three years old now. What can it say?

She's like, put the mic up to his face. Jackie, oh my God, can your baby say something? It's three years old now. What can it say? She's like, put the mic up to his face. And right when the mic goes in front of the baby's mouth. We don't want to rock, rock, rock. Could I get salt all around that rum, rum, rum, rum tray? I was like, yo, Trey, do you think you could buy me a bottle of rosé? Okay, let's get it now. Baby.

In like some luxe-ass stroller. One more time. We didn't catch that. Our mics were off. Technical difficulties. She's like, I'll say it again, girl. Rock rocks, can I get salt all around that rum rum rum? Go ahead, baby.

Can I get that chum? Can I get that rummy? Can I get that coke? Can I get that honey? Can I get that mug? If you don't want to rock rocks, can, could I get salt all around that rum, rum, rum, rum tray? Would your baby like to drink anything or eat anything? Your baby looks kinda thirsty. Would they like anything to drink?

She's like, oh, she can say it. Go ahead. Could I get that Coke? Could I get that Henny? Could I get that mug? If you don't wanna rock, rock, rocks, could I get salt all around that rum, rum, rum, rum tray? I was like, yo, Trey, do you think you could buy me a bottle of rosé? Okay let's get it now It doesn't want a bottle of formula or anything? No you heard her this is what she wants Can I get that rummy?

Can I get that coke? Can I get that honey? Can I get Okay I'll stop Okay okay let's get it now I'm with a bad bitch She with a bad bitch I'm with a little baby I'll stop. Okay. Okay, let's get it now. I'm with a bad bitch. She with a bad bitch.

I'm with a little baby. That's a little bad bitch. I want a sandwich. All right. Kanye West was tweeting like crazy. Do we care? Not really. He's just having girl props.

Who's not, you know? If you're not having girl problems, even if you don't even like girls, you're having girl problems. Even if you don't even have a girlfriend, guess what? Somehow, you're having girl problems. Trust me, baby.

Even if you don't talk to girls, that's the biggest girl problem of all time so sorry it's true though alright I put out that tweet that I was like who's the most annoying and it was like fishing guys

workout guys or car guys the answer is motorcycle guys. I just went outside for one second and... Like, okay. Okay. If you're a motorcycle person listening to this, why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Imagine the people that drive like eco-friendly Priuses that are the complete opposite.

I wonder how they feel about motorcycle people. Oh, can you imagine? Worse than this? No. Just their whole house. When you go in that Prius person's house, it's just like pictures of motorcycles all over their walls with like hatchets thrown through them. They're like, and this is a living room and you're like oh my god you know what all right so we got we got a couple more most psycho thing your parents did why not you know let's just give it a shot maybe there's

i haven't read through any of them so let's see man there's a lot this one's from cat closey when i was in early elementary school i'd go to the store with my mom she would always ask me to go grab something or put something away for her. When I'd turn around, she'd be gone. Because I was a tiny tot, the workers would... Tiny tot, did you really need to say that? Would take me to the front and call her over the loudspeaker. I'd get yelled at for allowing them to call the loudspeaker because it was embarrassing for her. Yeah, no, that's not psycho.

My mom would be like, if you ever. It was actually my dream to get called over the PA system at a store. Like, I was jealous of the kids that did. Remember that? When someone was like, Ryan to the front, please. I'd be like, damn. My mom just made me suffer. Find me.

That was the game. Every time I walked into a grocery store, it was like, doot, doot, do suffer. Find me. That was the game. Every time I walked into a grocery store, it was like, find me. Just the whole time, I'd just be looking down every aisle. Mom? I remember I got a Lunchable one time. I'd always get stuff I wanted and try to slip it in my mom's car without her knowing. But she always knew. She'd be like get stuff I wanted and try to slip it in my mom's car without her knowing. But she always knew.

She'd be like, this seems heavier. Why'd you put that Velveeta macaroni and cheese in here? But one time I got a Lunchable and I like held it up in the air like, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun. And she like, she was right, her cart was right there. And I like placed in the cart and I was like, mom. And it was some completely different lady. She's like, I'll never forget that wrong mom I was like oh and I think I didn't even try it with my mom after that I just put it back in like random I was like no

I'm not I lost my entire appetite okay this next one from e ba 8620, if you really want to know. Not my parents, but a nanny. This sounds like it's going to be psychotic. She would make us play outside in the backyard for three hours while she napped and wouldn't let us into pee, so we had to pee behind the playscape. The words you guys use. Playscape? That is kind of weird, though. It seems like every, like, nanny.

Who calls anybody a nanny? I guess if you're, like, over the age of, like, 30, you're a nanny. But even then, I'd be like, call me a babysitter so you guys don't make a horror movie out of this. But it seemed like every single babysitter I ever had was just on the phone the whole time they're at our house but I was like whatever I'm not telling as long as you let me play with my stupid Buzz Lightyear toy for like three more hours okay next one BR Womples my sister and I were blind without our glasses so sometimes as a prank my mom would fill a bucket with ice cold water dump it on us while we were taking a shower getting ready for school then cackle i hate the word cackle and turn off the lights

there were no windows so we literally couldn't see to finish the shower or get out of the shower you guys were blind as shit if anyone puts on your glasses like anyone that has good vision puts on your glasses they're like you're blind and you're like it's my vision's not even that bad you just you have nothing else to say you're so you're blind like no i'm like i barely need glasses and my glasses are like thicker than like ice on a lake like i i am not that blind but yeah that's pretty no that's actually kind of cool seems dangerous honestly too long too long joe sale somehow a muskrat got into our house one time and it gnawed on a big house plant. What?

Who are you guys? My dad immediately blamed us kids. Yeah, every dad. Why are you kids chewing on the plants? We found the muskrat the next day. My dad never said anything more about it. Why is every dad like that? Damn.

Every time anything happens in the house that I had nothing to do with, he's like, hey, every time you come over here, something wrong happens. What the hell happened to the shower head? There's spraying water everywhere. I'm like, I haven't even looked at your bathroom for seven years. He's like, well, how come everything starts happening when you come over? Okay. Okay.

Not that that just happened or anything. And yeah, it was my fault. Jack Sasma. Dad wouldn't let me leave the dinner table for three hours because I wouldn't finish the shepherd's pie my mom made me. I'm so sad. Are you guys using these terms on purpose? Shepherd's pie? What the purpose? Shepherd's pie? What the hell is shepherd's pie?

That sounds like one of those dirty sex moves you do. Not you do, but you know of. My mom wouldn't let me finish the Philadelphia bow tie. Shepherd's pie. Shepherd's pie. Cottage pie. Ground meat pie. Crust topping. Mashed potato. English origin. Ew, dude. It's probably because he didn't want to eat it the next day at work. Finish it. God damn it. Finish it now. I don't want this shit

laying around in my lunchbox tomorrow. It's at the office. Alright meg mulv hmm i called my dad a d-bag at the dinner table and i was around 15 wow big mistake and he threw an entire glass of full milk at me good times i just can't like if if my daughter called me a D-bag at the table, I would have had to deserve it. Because it seems like 15-year-old daughters are smarter than, like, 50-year-old dads, honestly. But he had to do something to deserve that. Can you imagine doing that to a 15-year-old girl? Like, she wouldn't talk to you for the rest of your life Alyssa Lou I got grounded for brushing my teeth too loud in the morning when my mom

was still asleep crazy woman people do brush their teeth a lot my sister oh my god I'm like who installed the car wash upstairs? I swear to God, my sister only brushes the sides of her teeth. I've never ever in my entire life seen her brush the front of her mouth. Always like... I get that. My mom didn't even used to set an alarm in the morning. Because I'd wake up. whenever she needed to get up.

Like I'd already be awake and I'd be brushing my teeth. And I don't know why I started this or how, but I always brush my tongue because I think I read. Oh, actually, you know what it is? I was breaking up with this girl and I don't know if anyone's ever done this, but I was breaking up with this girl. And we were in my car and she was like what don't you like about me why do you want to break up with me and i was like i was like you really want me to say it and she was like yeah and i was like well i'm doing it so like i'm saying it i said something that i didn't like about her that was straight up true and she was like i could tell she was like holy shit you were

being serious and then she just started whipping them back at me and we just went back and forth with shit we didn't like about each other and one time i swear to god one thing she said like near the end she goes okay your breath smells i was like what like I don't care like it's because I don't care anymore that's why it does because I don't care about you anymore I stopped brushing my teeth before I came over so I was like whatever and she like left she got out of the car and then I was like no I didn't peel off that'd be the biggest bitch move I probably like went the wrong way though and like hit a mailbox I was like whatever talk to you tomorrow nah but then like I went home and I was like who even cares what she says but definitely looked up ways to stop bad breath and number one on the list was brushing your tongue.

So ever since that, in the morning, I'd be like, every morning, every morning since I was 17, my mom didn't even need to set an alarm. She'd just be like, okay, time to get up. That's'd just be like okay time to get up it's enough of that shit time to get up

that's like her rooster yeah we live out in the country we don't set alarms we just wake up when our son... This is the most fried hour of my life. Alright, so that was good. Liz Hammered. My dad got mad at me, so he snatched the book I was reading while I was reading it and threw it into the fireplace.

While the fire was on that's so funny I don't think that's psycho I think that's just like a dad that's just straight up like dude dads are obsessed with fires dads and fires like is there any thing else dads like besides the song we didn't start the fire by Billy Joel. That plays in every dad's head too. I'm not going to play this song. I'm not going to play this song. Right, every time a dad wakes up on Sunday morning, this is what they're, close their eyes,

they're, they hear this, and then this. They open their eyes they're they hear this and then this they open their eyes they're not sleeping by your mom obviously they're on the couch downstairs and they whip off like the little like throw blanket that your mom puts on there that like barely covers half your body they're hair's all messed up they have like tears running down your face you know like you ever look at your dad in the morning and he like he's been yawning and stuff and he has like tears his face is like kind of wet you're like were you crying they're like no i just tired that's on his face he's like... He was playing today! Gets the newspaper out.

Kiddos! They're like, Dad, we've been up for seven hours it's noon oh yeah that's right and the mom's like what the hell are you doing here oh weird sweats on Joe DiMaggio, Joe McCartney, Richard Nixon, Studebaker, television, North Korea, South Korea, Maryland, Monroe. Weird sweats on, long shirt. What do you mean? You haven't stayed at our house for two years. The most copyrighted podcast in the world. He gets hit for seven copyrights every time he puts it on YouTube.

World. All right, we done with those? Yeah, let's do, uh... I don't really want to read anymore. This is from John Spiro5. My mom told me if I stare at the other people in public, they have the right to shoot me. God, I want to see these parents so bad. Just picture their faces like smiling on LinkedIn.

Like after you read something like that. My dad threw a book I was reading in the fireplace. His LinkedIn profile. He's like, how are you doing? Like perfect guy. They have the right to shoot you. They pretty much do. If someone's staring at me, I'm like,

either you're going to kill me or I'm going to kill you. This is how this is going to end. That's funny. Jen the Ging. Wasn't allowed to watch Harry Potter or Pokemon. I was kind of bad. My parents, that's, Pokemon's under, my parents, like,

it didn't have to be a bad show. They just didn't want me to watch it. Like, I couldn't watch, like, what was something that was like, my dad didn't want us to watch The Simpsons ever. Every time he came home and it was on, he was like, my dad didn't want us to watch The Simpsons ever. Every time he came home and it was on, he was like,

wheel in the keg. I'd be like, it's on Fox 59, local. Wheel in the keg. Every time I leave, all hell breaks loose. What happened to my shower head anyway? Nah, that was one show we couldn't watch. That's kind of understandable, though, because they drink beer and shit.

And burp. That's probably why my dad didn't like it. They burp on this! My cousins were bad with it, though. My aunt and uncle are so cool now, but when we were younger, they didn't let my cousins watch Doug. Doug. Doug. That show. that's crazy but it was probably because my aunt like didn't like the show like she just didn't like like the way the characters looked like you know like my mom wouldn't let me

watch like Rocco's modern life cuz she was like this is stupid like I don't care if it's good or bad she was like this just looks dumb I don't care if it's good or bad. She was like, this just looks dumb. I don't want you to watch it. And I'd be like, why? But it did look stupid. Or like, ah, Real Monsters. Remember that show?

Whatever show it was with like the guy that would like hold up his two eyeballs, my mom was like, that's dumb. No. I was like, okay. Alright, let's do,

let's do viral viral hashtag the center of my universe is the center of my universe the center of my universe is unsubscribing from emails it takes so long to unsubscribe. I just tried to unsubscribe from CVS the other day. It literally took me seven minutes. I was like, what do I have to do? They make it so hard.

You have to read stuff. I'm like, ah, just no. Just don't want to. Just don't care. But I did it because I was like, there's no way you're tricking me out of this one. It would take me a whole day to do all of them. But I love that goddamn feeling.

We love to see you stick around. I'm like, go to hell. Hashtag my pandemic pastimes. That's sad. Not going anywhere. Man, wasn't that great? Where you could just be like, sorry, if someone asked you anything, you'd be like, hell no, oops, my pandemic, frozen pizzas, dude, I was housing frozen pizzas, 3 p.m., the preheat sound, I was like, whoopsie daisies. Hashtag office magic tricks. Office magic tricks. What did

I do in the office that was magic? Man, me working in an office job. What a nightmare for everyone. Actually, my office magic trick was just not talking to anyone for seven hours straight i swear to god people had to be like like i had an office job and then i left and the next week i was like putting out stupid videos on the internet they were probably like this guy would have killed all of us if he stayed in for one more week but no i was the king. Right when I got to work. Headphones!

Immediately. Right when I sat down in my chair. Headphones. Didn't say a word. Ew, that's gross. Just hunched over for seven hours. I would literally get to work at 5 a.m. Because our place I worked was like,

you have to be here for eight hours a day. Doesn't matter when. Just come here, eight hours a day, get your work done. Everybody was like, okay, yeah, who's really going to, you know. The guy was like, yeah, you can come into work from midnight to 8 a.m. if you want. And I was honestly like, I might do that every single time. Just because I wanted to be there

when like no one else was there. I don't know why. I would go into work at 5am and work until like 2pm. And one time, like there'd be like two other dudes that did it too and we just all were on the same game plan. Like we wouldn't talk to each other but we all knew. We were like yeah, yeah, yeah. We'd be, like, two other dudes that did it, too. And we just all were on the same game plan. Like, we wouldn't talk to each other, but we all knew. We were like, yeah, yeah, yeah.

We're here to, like, get shit done. And I'd be so hungry when I got to work. I'd eat, like, you know when you're pissed off at work? Or, like, you don't want to be somewhere or you don't want to do something and you just start eating, like, out of, like, bad habit? I just did that before this podcast, honestly. I went to Whole Foods and had, like, two pinto bean empanadas for no reason. Cause I was like, I don't want to do this, but I used to do that before work. Like I thought I was all

by myself. And this dude came in like the little break room where I was eating my lunch at 5.00 AM. And he was like, wow, you must be really hungry if you're eating a can of chili at 5 30 a.m. I was like, yeah, oh my God, just saving it for some, just getting it ready. And he's like, all right, have a good one. And I just like lick the tin lid and threw it away and did eat all the chili like in five seconds man i got a bad habit of doing that yeah hashtag just being myself hashtag just being myself and pretending i haven't worn the same pair of black shorts every day for the last 95 days.

Ah! Every time you can wear shorts the past two years, every day that it's like, shorts, yeah, that's okay. It's hot enough. Everybody else is wearing shorts. You can wear shorts today. I've worn the same exact pair every day for the last two years. I don't know what to tell you. I can't find another pair I like.

They're good. Actually, I don't even like them, honestly. They're just like, yeah. Yep. I like the way they look. The fit, absolutely can't stand it. All right. Hashtag makes a good team. Makes a good team makes a good team uh coffee and being by yourself seriously though sometimes coffee and other people i'm like this isn't what it should be 90 of the time i'm drinking coffee i'm completely by myself with no plans of seeing anyone for the next seven hours. If I ever get coffee with somebody else, it's not the same as me getting coffee by myself. The coffee's different. You know, when you're by yourself drinking coffee, you're like, oh my God.

Oh my God. Oh my God. I'm the president of the United States of America. Fuck with me. And when you're with somebody else, you're like, I don't know. It's okay. I think it's like light or something. And they're like, yeah, it's pretty good.

And you're like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah and then you're like oh i'm never getting that like when he split off from him after like three hour trek i'm never getting that coffee again the next day you get the same thing by yourself and you're like back mother he thought you could fool me I'm right here throw anything at me I'm swinging baby yeah but I guess I guess that's what makes a good team coffee and moon by yourself you guys have to think I'm seriously psycho

I am alright hashtag fake homeschool facts I was always so jealous of people being homeschooled growing up weren't you though like Like, weren't you like, damn. Like, when you

heard of, how mind-blowing was that? When you're like, in real school, and somebody brought up for the first time, people being homeschooled. You're, what? Excuse me? Yeah, yeah, my friend Ashley, she lives in my neighborhood. She's

homeschooled. What? she literally does the same thing as us at school every day only she does it in her bedroom with her mom there I was like wait what what what she what she does school at home she doesn't have to see anyone she doesn't have to get in trouble she doesn't have to talk to. She doesn't have to get in trouble. She doesn't have to talk to any teachers. She does it all in her bed while she watches TV. Wait. Yeah. Yes. I talk to her every day. I play with her after school every day We do the same math problems And she even plays sports for the other schools Oh my god That seems amazing

Hashtag ways I pamper myself. I pamper myself 18 out of the 24 hours a day, I swear to God. The other six hours of the 24, I'm sleeping. I just wake up and I'm a little pamper ass baby. Hi. I take so many breaks, man. It's unbelievable. It's the only way i can do anything is taking a break remember they told us that growing up i always had teachers that would be like you have

homework tonight do 30 minutes of homework watch 30 minutes of tv 30 minutes of homework rest your brain take care of yourself i'd be like yeah that makes it sound good yeah i can do that i get home my mom be like why is the tv on um my teacher said that's a lie get back to the table and do your math i'm like oh okay i just want to take care of myself. No, you get your work done. Can you help me with this? Then she'd come over and put her wet hands all over my paper, and I'd be like, I don't know if I can do this anymore. And then I'd get a 17 out of 50 on the homework.

Remember the worksheets? Okay, last thing. Remember the math worksheets that you couldn't erase erase stuff on did anybody have those workbooks the paper like wasn't paper it was like the most recycled material paper of all time and i was like i can't erase this seven like i'm trying to on this math assignment you know how many mistakes i'm gonna make and i can't erase it's gonna be a long year, Mrs. Collins No problem I'll have it done Let's do days Wednesday

National Hammock Day God, hammocks What a love trap Jesus Christ Imagine Made for couples hammocks hammocks are like low-key like a pg version of a hot tub you ever like with your cousin in a hammock and like next thing you know you're like in love

i swear to god dude every time I've ever been in a hammock I'm like Your eyes look different Hammocks are a trap Hammocks are weird Anytime I'm outside Sitting somewhere I'm like expect to get a tan

And in a hammock you'd get like a You'd get like a rope tan It's like my biggest concern ever, I'm like expect to get a tan. And in a hammock you'd get like a rope tan. It's like my biggest concern ever. If I'm outside I wanna burn. National Rat Catcher's Day. I don't think we ever had a rat in our house growing up.

We definitely had a couple mice though. How come rat traps were like the number one thing in cartoons? Do you remember that? It was, like, the number one, like, violent thing. It was, like, why were there so many mousetraps in cartoons? And it would just snap the shit out of their fingers, and the fingers would be, like, pulsing after. There would always be somebody walking through, like, a kitchen full of mousetraps.

We never put cheese on our mousetraps. When we had a mouse, we had a mouse like twice. I don't want you guys to think I had like 30 mice in my house each month. One for each day. But literally, I swear to God, we had a mouse in our house one time. My dad was like, want to see the trap? And I was like, yeah.

So I ran to the laundry room, like all excited. Cause he like made me excited for it. And like, right when I turned the corner, he was like, get back. I was like, Oh my God. I thought we were going to see them. Like I was happy. And we like looked at it behind like a shelf or something. And I swear to God, what was on the mousetrap was a saltine cracker with peanut butter on it. I was like, have you ever watched Tom and Jerry? I don't watch crap like that.

Well, I do. When you're not home. All right. National Hot Dog Day. God, I brought a tray of food at the restaurant I work at the other day. And, like, my head was right by it, you know. When you're bringing up a big tray of food, like, you got to do that waiter carry. It's, like, up by your, like, cheekbone.

The whole tray, for some reason, to me, smelled exactly like hot dogs. And it was, like, 100% the complete opposite food of hot dogs happened to me another time one time i got a sub from subway wheat bread turkey lettuce tomato banana peppers regular mustard cut in four wrapped up in the bag took it out of the bag smelled exactly like a foot-long hot dog i was like still gonna eat it but seriously it did and i was like i don't know what's happening but got no choice thursday gorgeous grandma day that's flattering you ever seen a gorgeous grandma? I've seen one. I mean, no, I haven't really.

National Vanilla Ice Cream Day. That's my shit right there. Vanilla ice cream, straight up, plain. Ain't no way around it. Can't mess it up. I always do. But I shouldn't. Every time I have a cup, I just want a cup of vanilla ice cream, please. That's what I want to say at the window of every ice cream shop I've ever been to

since like maybe I was 22. 22, yeah. Every time I want ice cream, I just want to go to the ice cream window and say, can I please have a medium cup of vanilla ice cream? But every time I get to the window, I go Reese's hot fudge, blizzard Oreo. And they're like, okay, sounds good, sir. And I'm like, can never do it. I just want a vanilla cup of ice cream. Can never do it. Imagine if you did that with like a group of friends though. Like they're all getting like the craziest shit and you're like

a vanilla cup of ice cream please. They'd be like when he goes to the bathroom let's all leave. Friday. National Thermal Engineer Day. Huh? What? Remember in Bill Nye the Science Guy they'd always do that? nye the science guy

was the best show on tv of all time said it educational show best show of all time bill nye the science guy it was like a treat when you got to watch it in school remember that you're like are we really no they're like yeah yeah she just said it no but they always had those little sound effects like bill and i would explain something crazy with like blowing up a balloon and steam would be like and he'd be like and that's where they will when the chemicals in a row and then y equals mx plus b in a slow and that's why your voice changes very high when you suck in the helium of a balloon and he'd look at the screen and like background voiceover guy would be like, what?

And then when he got to a different scene, I'd be like, exactly. Who knows what the hell he's talking about? But yeah, that show was okay. National Tequila Day. Wow. Tequila is liquid drugs. We all know. I hate to talk about drinking, but I do every other time. And Jesus Christ, I have one shot of tequila and I'm like quirky Romano all of a sudden. Seriously though. National drive-thru day.

Seriously, though. National Drive-Thru Day. Man, I'll just never, every time I hear the word drive-thru, I'll just always remember when we were just packed in my mom's red Jeep, going to McDonald's, best time of our lives, listening to X103. Not that I'm nostalgic. But turning the corner.

Got the order hot. We're ready. We're good. Our mom just rolling with it. We're all happy. Yeah. Ha ha. We got this.

My mom pulls up. What do you guys want? Everybody knows the passenger seat goes first. I'll take a. No, no, no, no. My sister goes,

this is like her go-to at McDonald's when we were kids. She's like, can I get the 12 piece chicken nuggets with honey? Well, I was like, yeah, turns to order, but turns and starts talking to the trash can.

Like literally like going in. I'll take one 12 piece chick, chicken nugget with honey ben what do you want i'm like we're like mom that's the trash can and like the flaps like still blowing in the wind kind of and she's like i'll take one national cousins day man if i didn't have cousins what would I be doing? It's funny that your cousins are like your first best friends. Because you're just like, damn, you guys do all the same shit I do,

only you're from a different town? Wait. Your cousins are like a different dimension of you. It really is. It really is crazy how your cousins, like when you're a kid your cousins are like you're like oh my cousins but when you're a kid all you think about is just having fun all day and like holidays and like like just doing stuff you're like my cousins it still is like that low-key like for holidays oh god damn man so you're like if you're like because

you're like you know like you don't have to get on base with your cousins you know like if you haven't seen your friend for a while that's like your good friend you're like i wonder if like how we're gonna get back up to speed when you meet up with your cousins on that holiday like they'll say something you'll be like holy shit we're out the gate. No. No warm up. The first thing is like you die laughing. I love that. National Amelia

Earhart Day. I'm kind of sick of this bitch you know. I've been hearing so much about her. She disappeared. I'm done with her. How about that? Right? Are we all on the same page with Amelia Earhart? I'm done. Saturday, National Merry-Go-Round Day.

How terrifying is an actual merry-go-round? You ever see a merry-go-round at night? You're like, bye. Walk in the other way. Ew, merry-go-rounds during the day. Imagine a kid on a merry-go-rounds during the day. Imagining a kid on a merry-go-round, even worse. Do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do- no. I'm going to have nightmares. National Day of the Cowboy.

I know I'm not the only one that thinks like Dallas, Texas is just dust and horses and like saloon doors on every building. I know it. Even if I've been there and spent two years there, I'd still be like, do they do quick draws out in front of this bar? Sunday. National Bagel Fest Day.

Man, what is it about a damn everything bagel? That's become my favorite bagel. It always was, but I was like, I don't know if i'm allowed to get that you know when you're a kid like my mom would get it like one out of every like seven times i'd be like that shit smells so good but i was like i don't know is that like that's not like a kid bagel i never got it and i was always like intimidated by them because i was like that's so much shit but you can cut my right leg off for everything bagel just I'm a secret service slut for whatever the onions I don't know what's on that but like if you smelled four bagels and one of them was everything you'd be like holy shit

that one is so tight what is that one oh my? Oh, God. That one's definitely the best one. That one? No, thank you. Those other ones, I don't know what they are. They seem okay, but they're like, are you kidding me? He just made it. He just put it okay. Oh, yeah.

I definitely want that one. National Coffee Milkshake Day? That's a little too much. National Coffee Milkshake Day? That's a little too much. Like, I do like the... What's it called from Chick-fil-A? It's like a... It's called something sexy at Chick-fil-A. Joey's dad always talks about him,

and he makes him sound so good just by talking about him. He's like, yeah, have you tried the... I'm trying to use his voice to think of the name of it. Oh, yeah, you know what you'm trying to use his voice to think of the name of it oh yeah you know you should try the frosted coffee i'm like what is that that's but like you have to really not want coffee by itself and really not want a milkshake by itself to get that you know i'd rather have a coffee in my left hand and a milkshake in my right hand than have the frosted coffee honestly but i did try it one time and it was fire kind of reminded me of that jamocha shake at arby's remember the first time you got that and you're like here mom i don't want i don't want this

anymore and your mom's like oh my god give me all that right now put that in my goddamn mouth but like don't get too cute with coffee, you know? Just drink the coffee. Just coffee. Just coffee. I hate when people at work get like frappuccinos. You're like, what is this, your birthday? Like, get coffee or just quit your job and go to Dairy Queen.

Because we're not doing, we're not having a party here. Work is work. A Frappuccino at work. What do you think this is? What did you do? Win service salesman of the decade? Even if I did, I'd be like, I don't want a Frappuccino right now. I'm at work.

I don't want to enjoy something at work. I want to kill myself here. I'll drink it right when I walk out the door. That's when I want the Frappuccino. National Parents Day. Jesus Christ. Don't parents have enough days? No offense, but Jesus. Mother's Day, Father's Day, my birthday. Parents don't care about any of those days. Doesn't it seem like that? Has any mom or dad ever been like super hyped for mothers or father's day? They're always like, yeah, I just, yeah, sure. I've never met any mom or dad that's like mother's day. What are we doing? Dad's especially on their birthdays,

every holiday. Wow. My dad's like, don't speak of it. Okay. Dude, even when we try to give my dad a present on Christmas, he's like, I'll open it down tomorrow. You kids go. We're like, open the God. We like turned into like secret agents. We're like all pointing like Glock 40s at his head. We're like, open the goddamn present.

It's like a, it's like an interrogation table. He's like, are you, are you like are you are you sure and we're like we don't even say anything just all the guns he's like okay all right well that's shot 116 so remember to follow on twitter instagram Instagram TikTok and cameo Get a cameo if you're bored You know Give a shout out to somebody I'll hook it up And

Thanks for Thanks for listening Like always I love it I love when you guys are like Man I actually listen to your podcast And it's so like Relatable

I'm like You don't know How much I love you now Seriously If someone says They listen to my podcast Like I'm like, you don't know how much I love you now. Seriously, if someone says they listen to my podcast, like, I'm head over heels. Don't care who you are.

But, yeah, it means a lot, honestly, because I'm just whipping to work up here. And it's cool that you guys get down that's what it's all about and before I start crying thanks for reaching out on social media too with everything I posted that picture of me with a goatee

which was come on I would die laughing at those comments I posted that picture of me like with a goatee, which was, Oh, which was, come on. I would die laughing at those comments. Got fired from GNC and AutoZone the same day. Me with the goatee. Seriously though. Nah,

but like all that stuff, all that interaction on social media. I love that. Thank you so much and yeah i'll talk to you guys next week i found it's mr still your girl it's mr still your girl It's Mr. Steal Your Girl Hey girl, hey girl, hey girl, hey girl, hey girl

Let go Bottoms up, bottoms up, up Bottoms up, up, bottoms up, up