Espresso - things you should like but you hate

Episode Date: February 25, 2021

What up Fam??? On this Shot Ben has comedian @SaraPopTarts on the pod and @lol_derek_james bullies his way on the show again ...... ;) They break down the Fam's DM's of things they're supposed to like but find annoying like (like bringing bagels on roadtrips.....) they rank the most basic dog breeds, discuss how to say CRAYON and the difference between a Crayola and RoseArt kid. They invent a dessert hot pocket, discuss sarah's condiment fetish and decide WHO IS MORE ANNOYING: Subway, Penn Station, Jimmy Johns or Jersey Mikes, then they go #ViViViViral and do #DaysOfTheWeek but you already knew that 😎 𝘿𝙈 𝙤𝙧 𝙏𝙬𝙚𝙚𝙩 𝘼𝙉𝙔 𝙦𝙪𝙚𝙨𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣𝙨 𝙛𝙤𝙧 𝘽𝙚𝙣 𝙩𝙤 𝙖𝙣𝙨𝙬𝙚𝙧 𝙤𝙣 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙥𝙤𝙙 ! (@benedictpolizzi) →→→ 𝗗𝗼𝗻'𝘁 𝗙𝗼𝗿𝗴𝗲𝘁 𝗧𝗼 𝗥𝗮𝘁𝗲 & 𝗥𝗲𝘃𝗶𝗲𝘄! 𝗦𝗲𝗻𝗱 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗵𝗼𝗺𝗶𝗲 𝗮 𝗖𝗮𝗺𝗲𝗼 𝗳𝗿𝗼𝗺 𝗕𝗲𝗻!: https://v.cameo.com/E48BXekQ29 𝗧𝗶𝗸𝗧𝗼𝗸: https://www.tiktok.com/@benedictpolizzi?source=h5_m 𝗬𝗼𝘂𝗧𝘂𝗯𝗲: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCXRwNZpU67AK24r5QGfIfCw 𝗜𝗻𝘀𝘁𝗮𝗴𝗿𝗮𝗺: https://www.instagram.com/benedictpolizzi/ 𝗧𝘄𝗶𝘁𝘁𝗲𝗿: https://twitter.com/benedictpolizzi

The Espresso Podcast is brought to you by Wave 1 Media. If you want to start your own show, visit thewave1.com. Yeah Fuck Shot 147 Yeah We're in heaven Yeah The weirdest member of the Backstreet Boys Is definitely Kevin Yeah

I'm in the studio With Derrick James But that's not it's name It's really Derrick White. Why? He gets mad every time I say that. Now he wants to fight. Sarah Huntington is here too.

Huntington like the beach. She's got blonde in her hair. Bleach, bleach. Sarah. Jesus Christ. Sarah. Yeah. Pop tarts, pop tarts, pop tarts.

Sarah, pop tarts. Oh, this is going in. Derek, did you fart? Hey, I think this might be whack. I might do the cat yet. Ah. Ah. Ah. Fuck. Don't make me rap. No cap. Dab. Fuck, I'm just playing with that rhyme now.

Fuck. All right. This shit lame. Ah, dude, I'm done. I lost it. I can't find it. Dude, I can't find it. Don't make me do it. I'll restart this motherfucking song right now. I haven't been this nervous since I had to say the Pledge of Allegiance in front of the class, all right? What's up? Should we start over? No.

Just kidding. Shot 147 Espresso Podcast. Ben Polizzi with Sarah Huntington and Derek White. Stop doing that, man. Yeah. No. Dude, I'm not doing it. No. No, I'm not doing it no i'm not doing it i'm so nervous man you had to say the pledge by yourself dude okay yeah no you got a school do you go to public

yeah by yourself you didn't say it as a class so you have to stand up solo with an owner let me tell a story all right i had to stand up to lead it. So you started off. So I went and I was so nervous that I said a prayer instead. I got up there and I was like, dear God. I go, thank you, Jesus. Then got roasted. Oh, I always used to call the Pledge of Allegiance the national anthem. I still get them a little bit confused sometimes.

Are we saying the Pledge of Allegiance before the game tonight? Oh my god, that was horrible. So what's up, guys? Welcome, Sarah. What's good? Well, I'm terrified. Why? You made me rap before.

It wasn't bad. You act like we haven't been talking for the last 40 minutes. So I just want to say what's up. I never said hi. I never really said hi to you guys. What's up? What's up?

What's up? Dude, okay, so... I'm sweating. Yeah, I don't know why you're like, let's make them real nervous right before. It's like an icebreaker, you know? It's like freshman orientation in college. When you had to stand up and do that, what would you do?

You'd have to say something, where you're from, your hobbies, and an interesting fact about you. And then do a little dance. Oh, fuck, that sucks. And the first person always kills it, and you're like, how do I back that up? Did they know? Did you give him the fucking questions before this? Were you guys friends? Did you guys him the fucking questions before this? Are you guys friends? Did you guys go to the same high school?

Oh, Jesus. I always got nervous with the two truths and a lie. I'm always like, ah, fuck, I don't think I lied about anything. I just said a bunch of truths. Just expose yourself out the gate. My parents are divorced. This terrible thing. I'm depressed.

I've been to prison. I'm probably going've been probably gonna drop out oh fuck wait okay so the question of the week this week i kind of forget it all right no i didn't question of the week is what's something that you're supposed to like but you find it annoying sarah what do you have oh i have a list first and foremost golden doodles golden doodles the dog yeah i agree with that i'm not poodle guy i just feel like everyone's like they're just hype all the time it's just a golden retriever right it's a poodle and a golden retriever together. I'm kind of done with the blonde dog. Just in general?

Yeah, I'm kind of done with the blonde dog. They make other colors. It's like the first dog. They manufacture other colors of that dog. We've been through this, yeah. But like, it's just like Air Bud. It's played. Air Bud 7.

Is Lassie? No, Lassie is not. I haven't seen any movies. I know you haven't. I was actually surprised that you knew Air Bud. Dude, everybody knows what Air Bud is. I don't think I ever watch Air Bud. Your dad knows what Air Bud is.

He's the one who showed me the movie. It's his dog. There he is. Oh, shit. There he is. Is that the one where he has to tell him to leave and he's crying? Yeah, but like... Look how dumb he looks in that.

Dude, this dog... I feel like he doesn't look dumb there though. I'm like, look how dumb he looks in the first one. Golden Retrievers do kind of look dumb. Honestly, I hate when people like them so much. They're the chicken tenders of dogs, you know? They're just like, all right. That's how I feel about Golden Doodles.

Everyone started getting them. And they're hyper. They're annoying. This makes me feel like shit. Air Bud has more varsity letters than I do. Air Bud played so many goddamn sports. He's a six-sport athlete. Football. Is there Air Bud track?

There's Air Bud basketball. There's Air Bud football. I believe it's Air Bud spikes back. I think it's volleyball. He's played volleyball one. He's played volleyball? He was a dual sport athlete in season? Like, same season athlete?

He was fucking valedictorian, too. Oh, my God. Full ride. I bet that dog made his dad proud. There is no track one. He looks so dumb with the bat. Dude, he's got a raccoon as a pitcher? Photoshop bat, for sure.

He kind of looks like a girl in that one. Is that a softball player or a dog? What were your stats in high school? There's a parrot up there? We've got to watch these movies. Dude, what were your stats in high school? Because I bet this dog rolls. What do you mean? No, I have no shot against everybody.

Yeah. Duh. Who's an athlete? I mean, I know you're? No. I have no shot against Air Bud. Yeah. Duh. Was I an athlete? I mean, I know you're strong, but I don't know if you give out like athlete vibes. I know you're strong. What the fuck? What kind of athlete do you think you'd be?

You? What did I pull? I don't know why I looked you out. I was like you. Swimmer. You? Huh? Yeah. I was going to say like lacrosse. Yeah. Is that right? No. Baseball?

Tennis. Tennis? Football. Really? Yeah. That would have been my last guess. What the? I don't give you football vibe?

You don't give me like aggressive vibes. Don't. Hey, look. Oh, there he is. Young Benny. That's the most aggressive picture you've ever seen.

Hey, why did I smile like that? That's you? You're all over the internet. Holy shit. Did you age backwards? Why do you look 45 in that picture? Because I was. That was literally like last week.

Oh, dude. Yeah, I forgot. So last week they posted some random account posted this highlight video. I don't know why that dude's name comes up. It's so fucked up. Christian Williams? Of course, up. It's so fucked up. Christian Williams? Of course, dude. It's me, but like at the beginning of my highlight tape, somebody else's name comes up.

Dude, I tried to watch this highlight tape and it wouldn't play. Oh, you played in college and everything? You were like big time. Yeah, no, he's got good stats. Shut up, dude. Junior, senior highlights. Are you making us watch your highlight reel right now? I'm not doing this. I know you hate this.

I know you hate this. He hates this so fucking much. I was like, yeah, I hate it. Let it play. Let it play. I hate this so much. Oh, look at him. That's not me. That's you. Oh, there you are. Oh, okay. Do you stand over him? Do you stand over him like a hard-o? Nah, dude. I got kind of freaked out because

I think he was hurt. His parents were definitely there. Anyway. So you like a hard-o? Nah, dude. I got kind of freaked out because I think he was hurt. His parents were definitely there. Anyway. So you were a sensitive football player? Huh? Anyway, yeah, earbuds got me. Pretty much. I like how your only highlight we watch is you blocking somebody.

First one on my highlight type that I go, okay. So anyway, about the receiver thing. Yeah, I'm a receiver uh here's me blocking somebody all right what about you derek something you're supposed to like milk no did you see all that's not yeah i did oh damn dude i got so much phlegm and snot i think you have more than anyone combined every time i do a video on my phone, I'm like, fuck, I gotta check if there's 10 pounds of spit in my mouth. Well, you snot rocket thing. It's not like

you projectile it. I can't blow my nose right now. I just gotta wipe it. Dude, wipe it on the microphone for the next part. Oh, dude, come on. Oh, my God. We're going off the rails. Yeah, milk, dude. 2% milk. I don't think anyone likes milk Do you like milk?

When I was a kid But I think I only liked it Because like my parents Made me drink it Like I had one of those dads That would be like Finish your milk Yeah he'd be like

I'm not even thirsty He'd be like finish it You look like the kid That would buy into the poster Like got milk Mark McGuire Yeah You need to be strong

Fucking MJ Dude I don't know I like i was forced to drink milk and then right when i was i i didn't drink milk for like seven years and now i just drink like almond milk i don't i do not like milk alternatives those gross me out fine really i think it tastes way better the only reason i didn't drink milk honestly because that shit would go bad so fast any that's true any version of milk, almond, cashew, if you're milking something, it's overrated.

But if it's a bunch of nuts mixed up, it's not bad. A bunch of nuts mixed up. Nut milk? You like nut milk, bro? Yeah, I get that nut milk. No, it's overrated. All right, fine. So like chocolate milk.

Do you like chocolate milk? Yeah, I like chocolate milk. No. But I do like milkshakes. Yeah. If they're frozen, I like But I do like milkshakes. Yeah. If they're frozen, I like them, but warm milkshakes. But that's ice cream. Yeah.

Yeah, mine's definitely milk. Let's get to these people real quick. Okay. Something I should like, but I don't. This is Kiel on Instagram. Something I don't like, but I find annoying. British accent. I feel like you but I find annoying. British accent. I feel like you're the human embodiment, Sarah,

of getting drunk and talking in a fake British accent. I cannot do accents at all. Not even a little bit. You kind of just did at the end of that. No. You're like, I can't even do it a little bit. If you give me an accent and say a sentence in this accent, it will come out. It's bad.

Every time. No matter what accent it is. When I was in college, there was a hockey player that came over for Britain and he just tore the campus up. Because he had an accent? That is a thing. Why do girls like accents?

I'm not a huge fan of accents. Why is that a thing though? It's different. Oh my god. Why do girls like accents? I'm not a huge fan of accents. Why is that a thing, though? I don't know. It's different. Oh, my God. Somebody tried to tell me that if you go over to a foreign country, your American accent, it'll be the same thing. It's not.

Maybe it's just my face, though. Our accent isn't as sexy. Is there an Indiana accent? There is for sure, right? Ope. Actually, Midwest accent is the most common one to have. Just when you say Ope. The best one.

Really? The best, it is. That's how they teach everyone on like TV to talk, is in a Midwestern accent, because it's the most like universal. Okay, how do you say it? Crayola? Crayola. No.

Crayon. Oh, crown. Crown, yes, right there. Crayola. Crayola crowns. No, it's not crown it's honestly you're from indiana i wouldn't be able to say it's crayon it really is but that sounds like i'm like a piece of shit yeah it's no in my mind it's c-r-o-w-n-s yes crowns that's that's the most indian thing

of all time call them crowns dude you remember when you there's a y in it yeah but do you remember do you remember silent silent sometimes y sound like w's in indiana you remember when you... There's a Y in it. Yeah, but do you remember... Silent. Silent Y. Sometimes Y sound like W's in Indiana. You remember the kid that always had the 120 crowns? Dude, that means he had the mac and cheese crown. Or the crown that's mac and cheese. Like smelled like it? No, it just named mac and cheese.

I had a bunch of 64-pack kids in my class. And they're all the smartest bitches. With the pencil sharpener on the back or that little thing? You went to a private school, didn't you? Like seven 64-packs in a class. I was like, damn. I'm fucking around with these Rose Arts. These Rose Arts, dude.

My mom got these for cheap. I don't even have... Draw the apple. I was like, I don't even have red. Why is your apple green? I'm like, you haven't seen a green apple? I like them the best. That's like, I don't even have red. Why is your apple green? I'm like, you haven't seen a green apple? I like them the best. It's really because I don't have a red crayon. Rosard sucks.

So waxy. So waxy. Oh, damn, dude. You're big flossing if you had the 64 pet. 64 Rosard was almost a slap in the face. You know? They were so waxy right you actually had to have 64 because you'd break them in half yeah i've got 64 crayons by the end of the end of the first one snapped in half yeah by the end of the first day you have two left uh the roser the the pencils mechanical pencils that weren't big, they all suck too.

What about the ones where it had the thing that you would take it out and then you'd put it over top of it each time? And if you lost one of the things, the pencil every time. What is that? What is that? Oh, the actual point to the pencil. Sometimes I would just have to. They're all stacked up inside of it.

Sometimes I just have to write with like the little top of it because I lost one of them so I'm just writing with like the little tiny top. There's always some fuck in your classroom with like a number two

wooden pencil and it was always this big. Yeah. And you'd be like don't take it. And you'd be like fuck you. Yeah, those.

That is the most I was going to say pointless pencil ever but it really is the most pointed. Dude, they sold those at the most, I was going to say pointless pencil ever, but it really is the most pointed. Dude, they sold those at the Scholactic Book Fair. Galactic? Scholactic?

Probably for like $30 a day. Scholastic Book Fair. Yeah. Those pencils suck. The erasers, dude. They suck so bad, dude. They erase black, and you're like, what the fuck? Dude, do you remember how lead was currency?

Lead was literal currency. Somebody had like a.5. If you had the.5 lead, it's like, alright. Full clip. I was in school the first time with full clip, dude. Everybody out here is with.3. You're out here with.5.

If you found a pencil with a thick lead, I was like, is this a trick or something? Am I on camera right now picking up this.5 joint? I'm a wanted man.? Am I on camera right now picking up this.5 joint? I'm a wanted man. I got heat on me, bro. In the middle school hallway, I'm like, fuck!

They're gonna know! You scratch out the number. No, you snap the thing off the end of it. G2 pens, though. Those are terrible pens. What are you? I'm a felt topper Big fan of felt top pens

What's a felt top pen? Is that like the feather? That sounds fancy The feather in the ink The feather pen in the ink Yes, yes Just every time I want to write I need a feather pen

I need to sign the declaration Yeah, actually I'm going to need a scroll to write this down on You stain it in tea, please You stamp your You stamp your bits with wax. Sarah Huntington bit.

What the fuck's a felt tip pen? Oh, gross, bro. Oh, what? Oh, that's like the Sharpies. Yeah. Oh, okay. It's too permanent for me. I hate these pens.

Too permanent? It is. I'm like, I feel bad crossing it out, you know? I like the Bic paper jets or whatever. Paper Mate. Is it Paper Mate? Yeah. Paper Mate.

Yeah. That's a great pen. Yeah, kind of when they like go into the paper. No, that's not the one. Oh, yeah,

yeah, the gray one. The gray one's right there. Or the blue ones. Yeah. The one that says 60. Oh, the cheapest pens in the world? Those are literally the first pens. I'm talking about the ones, the one that says 60. Ew, bro. Those... Fuck those ones.

That's the first pin. I'm talking about the ones... The ones that I have got grip on them. If it doesn't click, I don't want it. Are you a twisty bottom? Are you a clicky top or a twisty bottom? Ooh, those are nice. Those are nice. No.

Low key. With the little gripper on there. These are the Walmart Pilot G2s right here. Ooh, shit. Dude, pin names are sexy as fuck. Pilot G2. You know the guy that thought about Like you know that

That dude After he made that pen Was like Call it the pilot Like damn We can't call it We can't call it the pilot It needs something more

G2 G2 So it's like a literal Fucking jet It's the No no no It's the Second generation

Shut the fuck up Pilot G2 for a pen Get more excited about a pen It's the second generation. Pilot G2 for a pen. Get more excited about a pen. Who makes that anyway? Who makes the Pilot G2? Is it Bic? Walmart.

He's a Walmart brand. No, he's fucking around. I got it. Are we pulling that back up? It's okay. It's okay. Okay, next person. Sally Lowe. That's a name.

Yeah. I didn't. Look how I said it and look how it's spelled. Just take a lap through Hollister. Sally Lowe's got a T in it. T silent. All right. Things you're supposed to like but you find annoying.

This dude goes, being able to fix things and then your girl thinking you will just fix everything for them after that. Something. You're supposed to like. You're supposed to like fixing things. I think that's just annoying. Yeah, you're just annoyed at that time. Okay.

I guess like if you think that you're like big and strong, you know what I mean? And it's like, oh oh I can change the light bulb I feel about that like with lifting things I can't fix or assemble a god damn thing I can Like to feel like a cool strong man That's like oh yeah only I can do this

You can't change your own tire Cause you're a female I can't change a tire for shit But then every time I need a tire change You guys change a tire? Yeah I could I'm not going change, I have to do it. Can you guys change a tire? Yeah, I can change a tire. Yeah, I could. Me too.

I'm not going to, but I could. Hey, next time your tire pops, call both of us. We're Ben's triple A. Like a fucking pit crew. You're like, we don't really know how. You're like filling up my tank and shit.

Go, go, go! Slapping the side of my car. Record time. Yeah. You're like, we don't really know how you're like filling up my tank and shit go go go slapping the side of my car yeah you're like we don't really know how i imagine derrick would just be handing me the things oh yeah no i would definitely derrick has a clipboard the whole time yeah sarah's doing all the work but you guys have pit crew uniforms i'm like i can't lift that i don't want to get my nails dirty. Wiping my windshield and shit. That's funny, dude. I get it. I cook my girlfriend dinner and now she expects me to cook dinner every single night. You better cook than your girlfriend. My girlfriend won't touch the kitchen, which I'm fine with.

What do you cook? What's your thing that you're like, tonight we're making fajitas. I feel like you have fajita and taco night. Tonight we're making fajitas. Like, what's your thing? I feel like you have fajita and taco nights. Tonight we're having mac and cheese again. Is that your thing?

Yeah. Do you make a good one, though? Do you make a killer one or do you, like, make, like... Craft. I make a craft one, but I make a killer craft one because I use extra butter.

Oh, whoa. Damn, you don't even do Velveeta? You're not even Velveeta? You're not even Velveeta gang? No, but sometimes... The fuck? But sometimes I'll double up

the powdered cheese. I'll, like, take one from the other one,, but sometimes I'll double up the powdered cheese. I'll take one from the other one and double it up. So extra butter, extra cheese. Too much cheese. I always did that

with the toaster strudels. Two icing packets. I do make a fire toaster strudel too. There's like eight toaster strudels left and one icing. Your family's like,

what the fuck? That's the only reason I'm eating this shit. But that's toaster strudel icing. That shit would never melt. I'd be fucking putting that thing in between my legs and shit running around the house trying to melt that bitch. No shit.

I'd be like, god damn it. How frozen is it? Yeah, I like to draw things on our toaster strudels before I give it to her. I know. I'd always try to draw something cool. I ended up so stupid looking. And then the toaster strudel would be way too hot. I always draw a penis. Only penis only in the middle oh wait not in the middle i think i think toaster strudels were no i think it's hot pockets maybe i feel like there are one of the strudels

were expensive as fuck do you guys have those like sweet hot pockets huh they're just sweet hot pockets the hot pockets have like dessert that might be a thing. Do we just invent some shit? I don't know, man. Do the Hot Pockets have dessert? What if there's a caramel apple Hot Pocket? If I had to put money on it, I would say no. That's just that thing from McDonald's. You're getting good at typing, Wyatt.

I appreciate it. Oh, shit, they do? Is it caramel? That is the oldest box i've ever seen that was something they did once that's photoshop reese's hot pocket get out of here yo do people know about that that's not real that's not true i think i think that one on the right's real dude i think that's real. You'd eat that, Ben, wouldn't you?

Yes. I'm a bitch for dessert, dude. I know. You're a dessert boy. Hey, that's one thing that we're supposed to like that I don't like. Oh, dessert? Mm-mm. Nice.

I could take it or leave it. Nice. I could take it or leave it. Dessert? Dessert, yeah. I could just eat dessert and be like, all right, let's go. Really? Oh, shit. That's the only reason I'm going out to eat I don't like

Do you get dessert every time you go out to eat? Like now I do but when I was a kid my family was always like no dessert That's why you don't learn Right dude My family only got like the entrees And we were like gone Like no chance we were even thinking About getting an appetizer

I didn't even know how to say appetizer until, like, last year. When I was growing up, I was like, appetizer, appetizer. No way, dude. You're like, can I get some mozzarella sticks? Dad's like, not a chance. Even when I would, like, get the appetizer for one of my sides, my dad would be like. As a side.

As a fucking loophole. Can I get that as a side? Can I get an appetizer for one of the sides? Can I get it out a fucking loophole. Can I get that as a side? Can I get that as one of the sides? Can I get it out first, you think? Can I get my side out first? Came in the system. Potato skins with my spaghetti. Can that come out first?

All right, Allie Burkhart. Things you should like but you find annoying. The show Friends. I never really watched it. It was always just on for me. Yeah, it's a background thing. I watched the last episode.

That's it? I tuned in to the last episode just because you wanted to know what Ross and Rachel were going to do. I don't even remember the last episode. I did watch every single one of them. Did your moms watch it? You did? You watched all of them?

All of them. So you like Friends. I mean, again, it was like... She loves Friends. Yeah, every white girl... I mean, it's like fine. It's not like my favorite show, but I mean, I did watch all of them. You're more of a girl.

It's like fun. I said it's fine for a start. Oh, you did? Okay. And it was easy to pause. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You said it's fine. Okay, yeah. it was easy to yeah yeah yeah you said it's fine okay yeah did you have it hey wait hold on did you have the dvds no okay i don't have any dvds not one the friends intro though was popping when that shit came on i was like i kind of see what happens like the umbrellas in the fountain? Yeah. After they recorded that, they were probably like, cut!

Perfect! What about Seinfeld? I never did Seinfeld. Never watched it. I think it's funny, but I never watched it either. Like, my dad always had that shit on. And my friends are always like, you gotta watch Seinfeld. And I'm like, ah, shit.

I just don't know if I can. Is it because you look like Kramer? Yeah, probably. And it's just like, there's good little bits in there and stuff. Yeah, no, Seinfeld's I'm like, ah, shit. Is it because you look... I just don't know if I can. Is it because you look like Kramer? Yeah, probably. And it's just like there's good little bits in there and stuff. Yeah, no, Seinfeld's like, I mean, every once in a while

when it's on, it looks fun. I can never pay attention to it. It looks fine. Looks fine. Fun. Fun. Fun or fine.

Boom, ba-dum, boom. That little thing in between every... You know what I mean? It's a show about nothing. Oh, yeah. That's literally what they call it. Boom, boom, boom, boom.

I always hear that in the middle of the night. Okay. Hold on, hold on. You're doing great, honey. Just hold on. Okay. Things you should like but you don't. Emily Christine. Eating bagels or traveling or both?

I hate traveling with bagels. Just bagels, though. If anything else is in my car, it's fine. Can't wait for the trip. You know she gets to the airport. She's like, what can I eat? She's like, goddammit, another bagel. Fuck!

She goes to an airport with only bagel shops. Holy fuck. Wait, she said she doesn't like stuff on her bagels or bagels at all. I lost it. I lost it. Hold on. Damn. Dude, what a crazy thing.

Like, don't ruin this trip, kids. If I see one bagel on this goddamn trip. Don't ruin this goddamn trip, kids. Okay. Back full Einstein bagels. Stop! Eating bagels or traveling or both.

Oh, eating in the car in parentheses. I hate road trips primarily. Oh. I'm constantly asking like, when the fuck are we gonna get there yeah that's how road trips i don't like road trips just on the way there though on the way back i'm like i like road trips by myself damn really yeah like if i'm in the car with someone i feel the need to like talk the entire time or have a conversation where it's just me by myself

i can just be like in my own head just having weird thoughts it's good sometimes it's good to have a little drive i'm kind of afraid i'm gonna fall asleep though so i like need need somebody like driving yeah yeah sometimes someone else makes me fall asleep more though like sometimes when somebody else is talking to me for more than like 10 minutes i get more tired you need you need to get famous fast because you need a tesla they drive themselves oh yeah they drive themselves is that a sure thing i mean no that's not like not but it's just popular you can't like fall asleep but it's a sure thing that you're gonna fall asleep while driving so you've got a better chance in a tesla yeah it does uh road i don't i like road trips it's not bad when you have like four people in there, I guess it does get kind of...

I get what you're saying. Like, it gets cramped. Like, you can't sleep, especially... With bagels, though? I think bagels make it better. Here's the thing. If I'm on a road trip... I would road trip with somebody.

I would road trip with some bagels. If they brought bagels, I'd be like, fuck yeah. Hey, you want to go to North Dakota? No, I got bagels. Fuck yeah, dude. We're leaving it. We're leaving it. Start the car. We're going right now. Hey, you want to go to North Dakota? No, I got bagels. Fuck yeah, dude. We're leaving it. We're leaving it. Start the car.

We're going right now. Don't you have to pack? Wait, bro, you said you have bagels. That's all we need. Yeah, they're packed. They don't have to go. Oh, shit. Shit, dude.

Okay. All right. Not an answer to the question. Just random DMs. Yeah, just, yeah. Really like your stuff. Road trips. Holy shit.

Again? Again, you hate road trips? This guy goes, Derek Zimmerman, things you should like, but you just find annoying road trips. The first and last five minutes are great. In between sucks. You're uncomfortable, tired, and there's basically no end in sight. It's all about the journey. What? Huh?

I think I went to high school with this guy. I'm kidding. Yes. And you're like, yeah, he hated road trips since high school. That's pretty par for the course. He's the only person that didn't go on spring break. That's so weird. Okay.

We're not doing road trips twice. We just did road trips twice. Yeah, three times, I mean. April cigars. Cigars. April cigars? Bridal showers. Baby showers.

S-E-G-A-R-S. How do you spell it? How do you say it? I don't know. I'm fine with it. Cigars? Cigars. April cigars. April cigars? Cigars. April cigars.

April cigars. Okay, things you should like but you don't. Bridal showers, baby showers, bachelorette parties, and the list goes on. I hate all that shit. We'll defer to you. I mean, do you like those? I mean, my friends just now started having them. And I don't think...

My friend just had a gender reveal party and I was kind of like, oh, cool, but we got really drunk afterwards. I feel like you're like, this is my time to shine. It was more about me than the baby, for sure. I had a great time. Did you cat yak?

Probably. You don't know about the cat yak? That's what you were doing in the intro? That was actually really fire that she hit that. I know. Derek, you're totally off. It threw me off. I was like, oh, fuck.

She buried you, dude. God damn it, dude. I'm never... I can't do bachelor parties. I've never been to a bachelor party. I can't. I can. But I can't imagine I would enjoy a bachelor party.

But I've never done a traditional bachelor party like Vegas. We went camping for my best friend's bachelor party. Like one night? One night camping. Not bad. Yeah, I would prefer that over like Nashville. Especially because by the time you're getting married, they don't go out anymore or anything.

So it's like the first time they've drank in nine years and they just don't remember how to drink or have fun anymore. So they get drunk at 9 p.m and are crying by 9 45 i think the reason i don't like it is because the the petal bars around here are the pickle peddlers yeah it's the worst invention have you been on those i still have not i have not been on a pickle peddler like with co-workers or anything you have for sure yeah i did you liked it she's like you did you like i wish we had a video i mean yeah listen to fucking kary katie perry and shit i don't like you make me feel like i'm living oh she's like i hated it though i wish they weren't available to anyone but since they are i did take advantage of it and it was kind of fun but once again it is one of those things that you would hate,

and it ends up being fun. Yeah. I was just like, you make me feel like I'm living. I'm so excited, but not acting like it the whole time. That's funny. Yeah, pickle peddlers. That's probably something you should like, and you don't. Pickle peddlers.

They're definitely annoying. I suggest pickle peddlers to people that come in and visit. What should we do? They do make it look good though. When you see one going down the road you're like fuck they're having fun. They are having fun.

The shocker, you don't even have to pedal. Really? No, it's got a motor, bro. Can you imagine if you saw one, though, and they were all just like so mad the whole time? Like nobody was having fun. They had no music playing. They were just pissed off.

You don't have to pedal. I kind of thought that was part of it. You kind of do. Oh, really? Well, they tell you to, but then like if you guys start slacking, then he just puts it in. Yeah. Grab some bagels and let's go, dude.

Things I should like but I find annoying. Jordan something is her name. Kind of a cool username. When cashiers create conversation with me, let me just buy my shit and go. Yeah, okay. I've got a story about that. Mine's not cashiers.

Mine is when men make my sub sandwiches. Guys? When guys do it, all right? Because when they're making your sandwich, they want to talk and have a conversation with you while they're making it, and I'm like, dude, you've got to line. I just want the sandwich, and I want to go. Just while they're making it. And I'm like, dude, like you've got a line. Like, like I just want the sandwich and I want to go just put the pickles on it. And then also their hands are a lot bigger.

Like when guys, yeah, this sounds really bad, but they, uh, their hands are a lot bigger and they put too much of the ingredients on it and they can't close the sandwich. Oh, I like when the sandwich can't close. I'm kind of so like anticipating when they try to fold it. I'm like, is he going to be able to? At Subway, where they put the little knife in there at Subway, and they close it. It's so satisfying.

I'm like, there's no way that's going to close. Good shit, man. And then every time, they're like, so magical. Dude, don't ask me about how my day is when you're making my sandwich. I've never had a guy make my sub that speaks English. So that's never happened to me, honestly like sides i was just like chips and drink i swear to god dude i'm just telling you dude like dressing i'm like god damn i got that i went to a firehouse whatever that uh sub sandwiches and the dudes there just wanted

to talk to you the entire time and I'm like oh at Firehouse or Subway I don't know man just make the sandwich put it in the bag first time I went to a sub place that wasn't Subway I was so confused I was like well so I can't just like pick and choose shit I gotta like pick like turkey one of those I was like that's not what I want though

I was so fucked up I was at Jersey Mike's and I I was like, what is this? Dude, have you? Okay, which part of the counter do I stand at? Do I stand outside? Wait, do you guys like Jimmy John's? Yes! It was Jimmy John's.

No, those motherfuckers attack you when you go in there. They're like, what do you want? I'm like, fuck! I don't even know where my wallet is. Like, let me think about what I want outside. I'll fucking flag you down when I'm ready. Right when I open the door, what would you like? Have you ever been to a Jersey Mike's though?

Yeah, their cookies fucking bang. Really? Why is it so fucking loud in a Jersey Mike's though? I haven't been in one like that. Dude. I've never like eaten in one. Yeah, they blast fucking music. And then the whole time it's like,

1345! What? You know what sucks? Do you want bacon yeah fucking god turn the music down honestly where do you live that there's a jersey mike's right off a range line huh right off a range line it's right across like that's a normal i'm not telling you the address you You already... He's like, I live in New Jersey. You already gave my real name out. You want to give me my address, too? Fuck off, bro.

You know where that is. What the fuck? Hey, Penn Station, though? Fire. No, dude. What? They need to, like, update their store. Like, every time I go in there, I'm like, is it 1996?

Dude, I haven't been in a Penn Station since 1996, dude. But Jersey Mike's every fucking day. Penn Station's one of my favorite ones. Yeah. I remember being so disappointed

the first time I got Jimmy John's. Like, everyone talked it up so much. I was like, why is this bread so hard? And you can't get it warm? Everything's so wet.

Yeah. Like, do you guys dunk this in a bucket of water before you gave it to me? Here's your sir. What's up, sir? Damn, dude.

I don't need a drink. Yeah, but Subway's number one. Yeah, cold cut combo. You know it's annoying. Is there another sub place that we're missing? Got them all. Which witch? Witch, which is ass.

I can't ever figure it out. That ordering process is actual torture. You have to write it down. I'm like, it's too much. Yeah, you gotta circle shit. It's actually perfect though. It's like a quiz every time. I'm like, I don't know. I'm just gonna fill them all in.

You cheat off people. What'd you get for cheating? You got cheddar? Fuck, I got Swiss. I'm leaving. I've failed the fucking sub quiz. That happened to me. I had a bad experience at a witch. I've failed the fucking sub quiz. That happened to me. I had a bad experience at a witch witch.

I've never been back. I grabbed the wrong bag. Somebody put the bag. Somebody put the bag that I want. They just moved the bags around like a fucking psychopath. It is insane. And then I pulled the wrong bag out, and then I ordered like. Why did you get a tuna melt? I was like, I want to get a tuna melt.

I was like, I want some, I want some cheese. And the guy was like trying to explain to me, it's like, it already has cheese on it. I was like, the sandwich doesn't have cheese. So I got the sandwich. It had like nine slices of fucking cheese on it. They double stacked it. I was like, dude, for some reason, some fucked up reason. I was like at the mustard category and I was like really feeling myself and I got Dijon

mustard and normal mustard and I'll never go back to mustards. Holy fuck. My throat is like still sore from that day. You know, if you have too much mustard and you're like It happens with ketchup too, dude. If you have too much ketchup with fries

you get like a sore throat. It happens with balsamic vinegar. You're like, fuck, I had too much ketchup with fries, you can get a sore throat. I have a spoon of balsamic vinegar. You're like, fuck, I have too much ketchup. Fuck, dude. I'll drink ketchup, dude. Hey, what about you drinking A1? Yeah. That's a whole thing.

I love condiments. You're a sauce bitch? Me too. I love it. It's my favorite thing. I'm a sauce bitch too. I fucking love sauces. Condiments. When you got a Chick-fil- love, it's my favorite thing. I'm a sauce bitch too. I fucking love sauces. Condiments.

When you go to Chick-fil-A, what's like your favorite? All of them. Chick-fil-A sauce, sweet and sour. What's like your, you have to pick. Okay, for my favorite. All of them! All of them! Bitch, I didn't get one!

Chick-fil-A are my favorite sauces. Chick-fil-A sauce, ultimate number one. And then the sweet and sour sriracha one for the grilled chicken nuggets. That's me. Grilled chicken nuggets. That was a big move. Because nobody had those before Chick-fil-A. Right.

And they're really good. Yeah. And they put the little grill marks on there. I don't think they're real. Yeah, they color them on. They're not real. They color the shit on. It's just a permanent marker.

G2 in the back. G2 in the back, yeah. Yeah, the Chick-fil-A sauce. The Chick-fil-A sauce, yeah. It's like the back, yeah. Yeah, the Chipotle, or the Chick-fil-A sauce. The Chipotle sauce, yeah. He's like, the Jersey Mike's, I mean the... Switch, switch. He's bringing up Jersey Mike's. Fucking Jersey Mike's hat on.

He's like, I'm going to put this backwards. We're talking about sauce, I'm sweating. Jersey Mike's phone case. Ketchup. That guy only goes there sometimes. Ketchup. I can only go there sometimes. Ketchup, man. Straight up ketchup. That's your number one?

A1 to you is like, that's my number one. Honestly, I like it. When you drank A1 that one time, I was like, I feel like, who's not drinking A1? Who hasn't thought about that? Couldn't you just drink like a cup of A1? Like, I would love to just have like a steak, like some sort of meat just cut up and then just pour the A1 sauce like soup and eat it like a soup dish. I would take an A1

back. You know how you can get a pickle back? It's like, give me an A1 back. The first time I heard back, I was like, huh? Aren't you a bartender? So it was like last year, wasn't it? It was like last week. What do people call it? Handlebars or something like that?

Sprite back? I was like, you want me to take your shirt off? Training wheels. Training wheels is what people call it like handlebars right back i was like you want me to take your shirt off training wheels training wheels is what people call it sometime every time they're like you want some training wheels i'm like what the pickled peddler i drove here oh man dude when i was growing up like this was a weird thing but my family like did not eat any mayo like they were like out on mayo are you guys is that dude i love mayo my family ate miracle whip and called it mayonnaise same with my family oh i think i would do that too so i think i think i think it was actually my sister miracle whip is its own thing yeah you don't cross you don't cross that with mayonnaise it's it tastes completely different

and I had no idea until the first time I had mayonnaise at school. And you're like, Hellman's. That's way better. Your mayonnaise is salty. And like,

mayonnaise is like Hellman's or whatever, right? Yeah. Like, there's no more mayonnaise name than fucking Hellman's, though. Doesn't it just sound like mayonnaise?

Hellman's. Miracle Whip. Fucking Miracle Whip. Miracle Whip Hellmans. Miracle Whip. Fucking Miracle Whip. Miracle Whip sounds so like Miracle Whip. We had both in the family. Or in the refrigerator. Family. We're the Hellmans.

We're the Hellmans. Derek Hellman. That's your real name, bro. Bro, I am so red right now. I can feel it. Why? I'm over here sweating. You're embarrassed?

Yeah. Why? Is it that hot? I was a miracle whip kid. That's embarrassing? I'm the one that said it. That's true. I'm embarrassed for you.

No, I don't know. Anyways, moving on. Oh, shit. We got 17 minutes left. Dude, let's do viral. V-v-v-v-viral. All right. Hashtag

I'm getting old because. What do you guys do for this? Just talk about it. Why do you know you're getting old? I know I'm getting old because I don't have to have plans on Friday night. You know that? Like last Friday.

Like last Friday, this is what I did. I watched a 30-minute video of pandas falling out of trees. And then I was like, that was a good night. But let's end it. And I rolled over and kissed my girlfriend and went to bed. I was like, fuck yeah, let's go to Costco tomorrow. How do you know you're getting old? I'll wear a big coat in the winter now.

I don't care. Like I'll wear it to the bar. I'll wear it everywhere. I hate those long ass coats. I love it. Do you like long coats for girls? I hate them, dude. Yeah, I bought my girlfriend one.

I like it. Why? The big puffy ones? I don't know why. I just can't get into them. They're too long. Did you guys ever watch CatDog? Yeah, 100%.

There's a CatDog episode and they're skiing or they're doing something in the wintertime and they get into their jacket. And one's the fucking legs, right? Yeah. And they get into it. So it's like an igloo around them. And ever since then, I'm like, I need a jacket like that. CatDog's a fried show.

Where I could just go into the jacket and I'm in a little igloo. Yeah. Those cat dogs, like Cheez-Its though. Do you remember those? Why were they better? Dude, you weren't allowed to watch CatDog. I feel like off-brand cheddar

snacks are the best. Isn't that one? Zips? Cheez-Its and Cheez-Nips. Cheez-Nips are better. And Cheez-Nips is what PatDog was. Bro, these right here. Like when kids had those in fourth grade in the little like half Ziploc baggie,

I was like, you piece of shit. You're 64 pack away. Fucking private school, man. And the Scooby-Doo snacks. Cheez-Nips might be better. You're right. They are. What?

No. I guess it depends on the mood I'm in. I'm just typing cheese nips. If I'm feeling bougie, I'll have some cheese-its. I'm an A1 girl. Oh, my God. Look at those earrings. Those are so cool.

Damn, that's you. That's so you. I'm going to get those. Yeah, I know. I'll email it to you. Give me somebody that dropped the link for that. Swipe up for my cheese nip earrings. Yeah, cheese nips were a thing.

Ritz Bitz with the crackers and the cheese in the middle, though. Yeah, that was good, yeah. That was the most bougie snack of all time. My mom would never buy those. I mean, we've got 10.99. What? Those are expensive, dude.

With the peanut butter in the middle? Those weren't as good. Those were like... No, the cheese ones were the best. I swear to God, cheese peanut butter crackers like that were sold out. Or the cheese. Yeah, the cheese Ritz. Cheese Ritz were fire.

They were off the shelves. The Pepper Jack one. I like those ones. The white Pepper Jack ones? Oh, yeah, yeah. You're talking about the squares, though, right? Yeah. Yeah, those were fire, too.

I don't know how we keep getting back to food. We're just like, sub sandwiches, crackers, cheese nips. Last time I was on here, we talked about sub sandwiches. Every single podcast. Every single podcast comes back to sub sandwiches. Yeah. Sub sandwiches and roundabouts. I used to be, this is my go-to sub when I was a kid.

We're talking about it again. Dude, I got meatball every single time. Yeah, you're an Italian fuck. Every time, it was meatball. Did you have that one when you were a kid? No, dude. Cold cut combo. That's so fucked up.

Cold cut combo. Why are we talking about this again? Mustard mayo. Not toasted. I like ham and cheese. Melty. Melty ham and cheese a lot. That way melt.

Hook and ladder. Foot long melt. Give me the melt. All right, let's do days. Let's do days. Wednesday. National. Flip long melt. Give me the melt. All right, let's do days. Let's do days. Wednesday. National Tortilla Chip Day. What?

Why are we even... I don't know. Ask the world why Wednesday is National Tortilla Chip Day. Honestly, I'm a fan of the strips. God, I knew you were going to say that. I'm a strip bitch. I'm a strip bitch. I'm a strip bitch. There is a bag

of strips on my kitchen table right now. You can have them. Do you like the scoops? I like the hint of lime. Those are fire. Those are good. Like, I only ate them because the other ones were gone, but then I was like, I might like these more. Classic triangle. I mean, he's right, though. You're so woke. It is easier to navigate

it into your mouth. Remember those little circles they had? Yeah. Oh, yeah. To see the circles? Yeah. What about the circles? Those are just cheaper.

Something about circle chips just screamed cheap to me. You know where the best circles are? Like when you would get nachos at the high school football game or something like that, you know, when Ben was playing. I bet you. Ben had no idea. It was too many touchdowns. It was just like the round ones, and they were always just...

Those were kind of fire, though. Concession stand nachos were kind of fire. I don't like those chips. Oh, God. They put that cheese, though. That cheese is the cheese. Yeah, those. These right here.

That's a concession stand. They're kind of good. They're good. Those are the ones, the smaller versions are in the Lunchable nachos. Mission. You're a big fan of the Mission chips. I like Mission chips, yeah. It's just only food.

Mission chips. Talk about food for an hour. Dude, it really is. Thursday, National Chocolate Covered Nut Day. Why is this whole thing about food? Damn, every fucking thing Did I go to a food website? Toast, chili, chowder

These are all on Thursday National Toast Day Yeah, this is Thursday, dude Clam chowder, never had clam chowder Eh, I don't think you're missing out I think I have It's like potato soup only with clams Instead of potatoes I don't think you're missing out. I think I have. It's like potato soup only with clams instead of potatoes. I don't think you're missing out.

National Chili Day. You ever work at a place that everybody brings chili in? No. Oh, yeah, I actually do. Dude, it's like make your own chili day, and everybody makes their fucking chili and brings it into the office the next day, and everybody's like like oh, you try Tim's Bino

911. Like, they'll give them names and shit. Dude, it's so spot... Emily's fucking five-way chili sauce. I like noodles in my chili. I do too.

Mm-hmm. With a peanut butter sandwich and some sour cream. Yeah! That's so weird. We actually are the same fucking source here. Oh, this is weird.

Dude, the peanut butter sandwich is some weird shit. Oh, I dip it in there. Dip it in there, yeah. I'm much more like grilled cheese with that. No, peanut butter. Who was the fucking

high-ass dude that was like, make me a peanut butter sandwich? Probably Derek. No. I mean, make me a peanut butter soup? Probably Derek. No. I mean, it's a good combo. Like, shit happens. It's not.

What are you talking about? Have you done it? No. I've seen it been done. You love peanut butter. Like, I have never seen a person talk about peanut butter more than you. Dude, no shit. You are to tell me.

You're with chili? That you're not going to eat your most prized possession food with chili. No. But you'll eat it with chili. Do it. It's just so weird. It doesn't make any sense. They're not family members.

Peanut butter and chili. Peanut butter does not need to make sense. Okay. Here's the thing. Do you not eat it because there's no jelly on the sandwich? Dude, you have the palate of a fourth grader. What do you mean? I've literally seen you order confetti pancakes, a grilled cheese.

I didn't order those rice fat ass ones. But I ate them. But you ate them. Confetti pancakes, a grilled cheese. You asked the waitress. That's because I couldn't eat meat. It doesn't matter. You knew you wanted the grilled cheese.

That's fire. You made her go back and make it. We're coming home. We had just bombed a fucking weekend. All right. It is 4 a.m. And an IHOP. And this waitress is dicking around.

She finally brings our food out, sets it down. And then Ben's like, where's my grilled cheese? And made her go back and make him a grilled cheese. This is essential, dude. But grilled cheese with chili is better than peanut butter with chili. No, you're wrong. You're wrong. Did they have a grilled cheese on the menu? Or did you have her make you a grilled cheese with chili is better than peanut butter with chili. Did they have a grilled cheese on the menu

or did you have her make you a grilled cheese? Did you order off menu? No, I don't think so. I know you have bread and cheese back there. Oh, fuck. You were negotiating with her for something.

I can't remember. Can you put like an extra slice of cheese on it? Saturday. National Kahlua Day. I went through a big... You ever have a Kahlua cake? No.

No. We don't like desserts, man. Fuck you guys. You went through a big Kahlua phase? I did. Like in your coffee? Yeah, I like Kahlua in my coffee.

This is the only time I would drink milk because I went through a big whitelua phase? I did. Like in your coffee? Yeah, I like Kahlua in my coffee. This is the only time I would drink milk because I went through a big white Russian phase. I watched the big Lebowski. Every time I go to a casino, which is like once a year with my mom for Christmas, I get white Russians. I don't know what it is about being at a casino. I have to get a white Russian.

I used to drink white Russians in college because I thought I was cool from it. It's like lactose intolerant. It makes you gain so much weight. Do you know how many calories are in one white Russian? White Russian. Farting everywhere. Dude, gross.

I ordered a white Russian. I love them. I'm so fat and I fart all the time. Could not get off of them. Why were you drinking them? Dude, I'd love to be in the back. Pour me a white Russian, babe. I do think my problem with milk

is that I think if I put ice in milk, I would like it better. I think that's the problem. Yeah, but that's a no-no. It does look good, right? It's a white Russian. What did you say? Who? The fucking person. He said that you can't put ice. right it's a white russian you looked at all these white russians on the screen you go who's that

like it was a cute boy oh what's his name it's actually a drink Holy shit that's funny Sunday National Public Sleeping Day I'm all about it What's the most embarrassing place You've ever fallen asleep in? In public

Fallen asleep in public? When I was 10 I fell asleep With no shirt on At a John Mellencamp concert Damn they probably thought You were drunk When you were 10? Yeah when I was 10.

No shirt on. White Russian in your hand? Just white Russian in my hand, yeah. Passed out. I was always the first one to fall asleep at sleepovers. That was embarrassing. Even at my own house. Did they always do shit to you?

Yeah, well, and they just always did shit, just in general. Like, I'd wake up and they'd be like, oh, you missed out. We cut all of Sam's hair off. I'm like, I want to cut Sam's hair off. Fell asleep at 7 p.m., Mom. I really did.

I fell asleep at like 8 p.m. You're asking where is the weirdest place you've fallen asleep? Yeah. That you didn't mean to. I don't know. Where's yours? Not me, but dude, this is so stupid. My mom used to work in the mall.

Yeah. And she, dude, my mom's the most tired motherfucker of all time. You could deal with your fucking ass all day. Dude, she would fall asleep at like 6 p.m. So from 6 till I fell asleep, I had to be dead quiet. Dude. Yeah. Afternoon mom.

I'm glad I'm going to sleep. I'm like, it's 4.30.. Mom, afternoon mom. I'm like, Benny, be quiet. I'm going to sleep. I'm like, it's 4.30. Afternoon mom naps. I just ate lunch. Like, did your mom go upstairs and nap and just let you?

My mom would sleep in the middle of the living room and tell me to be quiet all day. I'd be like, you're in the house. Like, go. My mom would go up

every single day at like 2 o'clock and sleep from 2 o'clock to 4 and then just let us and just let us have the house house free reign. Just do what you want. I still to this day

have never seen my mom take a nap. I'm not even sure she sleeps. I don't see my mom awake. Every five minutes I'm like, there's mom fucking sleeping again. No, she used to take her breaks at the mall and fall asleep in the middle of the mall by a fountain.

She's like, yeah, I just took a quick nap over there. I'm like, in the busiest place on the south side of Indianapolis. I cannot take a quick nap. I don't know how people do that. I get pissed off every time I wake up from a nap. I'm like, ah! I like naps, dude. That's how I know I'm getting old. I'm starting to like naps a lot.

Here's the craziest place I fell asleep. I fell asleep in a ramen restaurant in tokyo like full-fledged like like the guy had to wake me up and he like woke me up he handed me a beer and he goes here's your ramen and i was like oh shit i was so tired dude it was new year's eve i was i was just nah i was just tired man i yeah no he me up. He handed me a beer. He said, eat your ramen and you gotta go. I didn't know how long I was in there. When I went to sleep, it was dark out.

When I woke up, it was morning. I was like, oh fuck, how long was I asleep in this fucking ramen restaurant? I can't believe he let you sleep through the night. Seems like a nice man. They let people do that in Tokyo. Like businessmen't believe he let you sleep through the night. He seems like a nice man. They let people do that in Tokyo. Businessmen, they'll let them

fall asleep in the ramen restaurant and then wake up and go back to work. Yeah, I've heard that in Tokyo they take power naps, 15-minute power naps and they just put their head

down on the desk and they just pop back up. You know those places in the airport you can pay money to go sleep in so you're not just sleeping in the middle of an airport?

Yeah. I sleep so well on planes. Dude, I can't. I mean, I can, you can like pay money to go sleep in. So you're not just sleeping like in the middle of an airport. Yeah. I sleep so well on planes. I can't. I mean, I can, but there's a, sometimes I sleep so deep on planes. Like I don't even feel the takeoff or I need a blanket and a pillow.

I'm going to sleep on a plane. Sometimes if I can't sleep at night, I just turn on plane noises. My girlfriend does city noises. Yeah. Just like a pilot uniform on. You're like, good night. Just have one of my roommates come

through with stacks every once in a while. Will you book me a flight? I can't sleep. Make my roommate come in, tell me to put my seat up. I'm going to sleep so good tonight. Hey, Sarah, tray table. You're like, there it is.

It's so fried. Every 15 minutes will you tell me that I can move about the cabin? Just every once in a while you just hear ding. Oh, fuck that noise. Just sit in the corner and go 15 minutes

silly land. His voice is soothing though. The pilot when he talks I'm like, oh yeah. 15 minutes till we land. His voice is soothing, though. The pilot, when he talks, I'm like, Oh, yeah. I'm trying to do it, but I'm just like, I can't. Make it smooth. Make a smooth landing.

We're flying. We're good. We're done. Oh, shit. We did it. We did. Shot 147. Espresso podcast with Sarah and Derek.

Why did I make it sound hot? I don't know. Man, but you sound good when you read off those sponsors. Yeah, it's your favorite part of this podcast when I read off the beginning. Espresso podcast brought to you by... All right, dope. Instagram. Sarah Pop Tarts and Twitter.

LOL underscore Derek underscore James. Abinadi Kalitsi on everything. Okay. Talk to you guys next week. Later. Bye fam. Meow.