Espresso - Tyrese Haliburton's Achilles (Heartbreak)

Episode Date: June 25, 2026

No we don’t get emotional when the Chainsmokers plays in our AirPods at the gym?? This weeks Q Q Q Question of the week: What’s ur REAL heartbreak? When u called off ur wedding? or when Tyrese Haliburton tore his Achilles? ehem💔 tahaaaaa -------------------------------------------------Send this to your homies to support the pod!https://www.patreon.com/benedictpolizzi ☕️FOLLOW ON IG https://www.instagram.com/espressobenny/💕 WATCH BENNY on FBOY & FGIRL ISLAND on HBO MAX🧢 "𝗕𝗔𝗟𝗗"𝗮𝘁 𝗰𝗵𝗲𝗰𝗸𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝟱𝟬% 𝗢𝗙𝗙 𝗔𝗟𝗟 𝗠𝗘𝗥𝗖𝗛 https://benedictmerch.com/-------------------------------------------------

When my work bestie leaves me, like quite literally, that almost might hit close to like a parent dying out of nowhere. It is absolutely terrible. But my love is all I have to give. Without you, I don't think I could live. I wish I'd. Oh, this thing's on. Spresso podcast shot 425. I'm your girlfriend, Benny, who calls.

Pride in the gym the other day to the song Roses by the chain smokers. Wait, is that why you don't wear headphones in the gym? That's none of your business. Hey, watch me on F Boy Island and F Girl Island on HBO Max. Weren't you like 32 years old when you went on that show? Yes. But Google says you're 45 years old. Is that true?

Yes. And I still shop at Paxon. Watch it with your family. F Boy Island, F Girl Island on HBO Max. Remember to join the page. for $5 a month. What do I get if I join? Like you always ask me to pay $5 every month.

What do I even get? You get a live stream at the end of every week and every other espresso podcast. This podcast on YouTube, everybody can hear it. But the next one next week, can only listen and watch if you're part of the fam on Patreon. $5. What do you guys talk about on the live stream?

Like I still don't get it. Like explain it to me. Do you guys just pretend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars? No, we don't do that. We don't ever talk about that. We don't do that. Do you talk about the fattest moments of your life? And was it the other day when you kept eating jars of icing in the middle of the day? No, we don't. What? This is not something I'd ever do. Is it a Saturday Night Mass live stream? Like, I still don't get it. Uh, maybe, but you can never be too sure.

Patreon, babe. $5.00 every other app in a live stream at the end of every week. And get all your merch, benedictmerch.com. 50% off at checkout. with code bald, nice, or glonky. What kind of merch you even have? We got, we out here be a nice merch. We got feeling glonky merch. We got emotional support animal merch. We got these guys merch.

We got who's buying this? Merch, we got it all. We got Benedict shirts. We got everything. 50% off. 50% off. Are you serious? Get some merchie.

But for now, let's get to the espresso. Quote, quote, quote, quote, quote, quote. Question of the week. What's your biggest heartbreak? Was it when you got broken up on reality TV twice? Or was it when they took the Frito burrito off of the Taco Bell menu? Was it when you got broken up with in real life?

Or was it when Propel changed their branding and things? threw you off for the rest of your life. Was it when you realize the backdrops on news and sports shows were fake? Or was it when Michigan football signed with Adidas for 10 years? Those are the things that honestly keep me up. Or was it when Staples changed their whole entire font? Bro, that'll get me harder than a whole relationship. date a girl for two years break up with her

worst breakup ever both you guys tell each other you're gonna kill it kill yourselves or when Staples takes the actual staple out of their logo what hurts more when they got rid of

Frutopia vending machines or when you thought you were gonna get married and it didn't happen but every time you date a girl you think you're gonna get married right even when you're like in first grade I think you gotta be real crazy you did not think that.

Or even for a little bit, you're like, oh shit, we're about to, she, oh, shit, we both think we're going to get married. Is that the funniest shit? You go on one day, dude, in my head the whole time on that date, I'm like, damn, so we're going to be hanging out like all the rest of our lives. Every day, every time I've ever talked to a girl, the thing in my head is, wow, we're going to have, like, kids and stuff. I've just been Fourth of July at her family's house.

I've said seven words to her. Everybody thinks like that, right? No, okay. Here you go. For me, it was the third grade. I had like my first little boyfriend and we kissed under the trampoline at my friend's house. And I think it was probably a week later.

He broke up with me. And it was the biggest heartbreak of my life. I remember it to this day. And I don't remember the reason. But he was in fourth grade and I was in third grade. Oh. Might have been the reason. But I remember I went home and I like cried in my room like end in my pillow.

And didn't tell my parents. I was just so so heartbroken. But yeah, that's probably my biggest heartbreak. those are really the ones you remember though those early crushes I remember my like first girlfriend in school thought about her yesterday uh

no her name wasn't Amelia no I didn't make fun of no I didn't get made fun of every single day by my family because they all knew about it I was like what is happening how does everybody know my drama I'm eight those ones hurt bro

I think that's the realest relationship I've ever had first grade for real. Like, damn, like we were, we were locked in. A lot of mems. You don't know the reason? Bro, third grade dating a fourth grader is dangerous. You don't know what. Dude, girls are so brave dating guys. Do you ever think about that?

Like, when a girl decides to hang out with a guy, it's like, wow. You, like, you really trust me. This is insane. Wait, so I'm just going to pick. you up and we're going to go wherever and you're just going to like we don't even know each other. Oh, how do you do it? You know zero things about me, but you're just going to get in my car. Girls will mess around and take trips when they don't even know a guy.

Yeah, I'll fly you out and they'll just go. I'll never get it. I'll never understand it. But in third grade day and a fourth grader, that's serious. What school did you go to? I thought it was, I thought it was. so player. When my seventh grade

best friend was dating an eighth grader, I was like, dog, you're, you're him, bro. Oh,

you're dating, you're dating Amanda Bradley, dude? She's, you know, like the girl that's in eighth grade that's hot,

but she's like tall. There's a tall girl. I'm like, God. I'm like, you pulled that? Oh, bro.

Dang, that's going to be, you ever date a girl and you're, like, man, this, like two weeks into the relationship, you're like, this breakup's going to hurt. This one's going to hurt, babe. Ooh. Oh.

Can't remember the reason. I always hated dating a girl like in not dating, but whatever the hell we were in, like, middle school. Because you just break up when the summer starts. Actually, kind of a good, good plan. Like, yeah, I'm just going to have a girlfriend all year. And then summer comes around like, whoops. Whoops, I have no, I, like, I'll try to call you once a week.

I guess. That's how I need my relationships right now. Yeah, we can date during the year. School years only, though. Like, I get spring break off. I get Christmas off. Summer off. But just like during, like, the grind.

got to have a girlfriend. Yep. Fall definitely got to have a girlfriend, but like when Christmas rolls around, I mean, that's just gets, that's just too much for me. I just got to, we got to take a step back.

Yeah, it hurts, yo. Third grade? God, you love them so much. You love them so much, you write their name down. That's when you know. Why am I writing this girl's name down in my notebook 78 times?

That's when you know. Hey, you're making your, hey, you're making, you're writing her name down with your last name. Literally 11 years old. Hey, just see how it looks. So if we did, hey, if you, you're lying to yourself. If you don't talk to a girl, like start talking to a girl. You're like texting. You're lying if you don't think of her first name with your last name immediately in

guy. There's no way, bro. And if a girl, you, you, you like try to, you, you, you, you convince yourself, even if, even if the guy you're dating for 27 hours, it's, it doesn't sound good. Your first name and his last name, you convince yourself. You're like, it could work, though. I'm sick. What up, Ben? Biggest heartbreak man. That would be last year. In April, I think that would be when Tyreus Halliburton, Tora's AC's Achilles in game seven. That's nothing, nothing hurts. So I'd rather get cheated on by four women than see that again.

Bro, they were going to do it. Not a sports podcast. I was so sure the Pacers were going to beat the Thunder in that game seven that I took a nap during the game. It was like their first quarter. Sometimes things get so overwhelming. I just have to take a nap and die. And I'll do it at the craziest times.

Like I literally can't be awake for this. I can't be living for this moment right now. Before a show, God. Before a stand-up comedy show in some weird town in California, I'm like, I just got to go to sleep. Like I can't endure this like feeling right now. It's mentally exhausting. I don't know if it's just stand-up.

It's a lot of other stuff, too. But yeah, during that game, man, I was just like, I cannot take the... I can't watch. I cannot watch this, you know? I laid down on my back, woke up Tyrese Halliburton, out indefinitely, out for two years. I was like,

everybody knows the Pacers should have won the NBA finals last year. Like, everybody, even the Thunder are like, I mean, yeah, they should have. When your boy gets hurt on your team, bro, and you know it's the end. too. Such a heartbreaker. Percentage of guys that come back from an injury and they're like better or they're the same, it's got to be like 3%.

AJ and Peterson all 3%. Trell Owens a little bit too. But when a guy hurts his knee or something, you're just as a kid too, you don't really know. Daddy, what happened? He's just banged up for a few games. He'll never be the same. in baseball, I can't imagine liking baseball and your favorite pitcher

he gets like his shoulder tell me John's surgery. I'm like he's never going to pitch fast again. Career's over. Get so scared. Dude, when guys are really good earlier in their careers, I'm like, okay.

If I as a GM, I'd be trained the hell out of people. One good year, trade them. One good year, trade them. One good year, trade them before he gets hurt. Tyreys Halliburton trade them right now that's sports podcast So my biggest heartbreak Can't wait

When my work bestie leaves me Like quite literally That almost might hit close to like a parent dying out of nowhere It is absolutely terrible Like what do you mean you're going to leave me in this hellhole where we've been planning everybody's dismisses. Did I say that right?

Dismise? Oh, well, whatever, you get the point. When we've been plotting on everyone's lives and now I'm just here and I have to be like normal and not a complete like psychopath. Got it. Love that so much for me. It's tearing up my heart. Bro, it's like when you're at school and your boy isn't there? Like your boy's sick?

I'm honestly mad at him. I'm like, what? You're just going to be, you're not going to tell me? I never, I didn't work long enough to have it work, bestie. But that gets crazy. Because like, they're your whole world. They're your whole world, bro. You're ride or die at work.

There's always one guy you can kind of get down with that work. You're like, thank God you're normal. I can't stand the rest of these freaks. How am I even here right now? You ever think that at work? You're sitting there at work here. Like, how am I even here? I don't know how people do that.

I did it. I did it for like 10 years. But I was just like, oh my God, these people are so crazy, insane and annoying. People that work in offices, I'm like, there's just no way. I think I went probably 34 days of my corporate career, not saying a word to anybody.

And God, they were the 34 best days. I would try to go start to finish. You play those little games in your head. I put my headphones in, listen to ESPN radio the entire day. Just knocking stuff out. Get up and leave. Don't even say bye. When you got a homie at work, God, it makes it fun.

But you can also get in trouble doing that. I had a best friend at work and we were doing it. It was like we were in school again. me and me and chiller best friend for my whole life because that's how guys are guys meet their best friends in first grade and it's their best friend till they die and they have like three of them maybe three probably two

maybe not even two best friend forever worked with him at a government office in Carmel Indiana the richest city of all time me and him in there for God no knows what reason. We're just like working for the...

I have no idea what I'm doing every single day. I'm supposed to be like keeping track of some accounts or something, city accounts. Every time they looked at my screen on my computer, I was watching huddle film.

Huddle practice film. The literal mayor would be in the office and he would turn and look at something and I would pretend like I was grabbing his ass every single time just to make my friend laugh and it would every time but i'll never but that's when i was like i just got to get fired but if he wasn't there i would actually have to work and the people in the office when you're work bestie isn't at work they like know you're vulnerable they're like oh okay what do you get who you're going to talk to you're going to talk to me are we going

to be friends you got to act a little different you got to act a little nicer hey Yeah, I don't know. We don't, you're acting like you don't know each other, your work bestsy that much. Yeah, they never said anything to me. We like just met. Yeah. Meanwhile, you're texting them, dude, what the, get your ass here before I kill you. It was crazy in high school and we didn't have phones and your, in your home he didn't show up.

I'd be like, bro, what the fuck? Did you die? No, I was just like sick. Sick. That's not an excuse. You can't leave me hanging around all these freaks and nerds and corn balls? Where's my friend? Not all dairy queens serve, chocolate soft serve.

Biggest heartbreak. That's so real. I just love how you guys just know that this is the direction the podcast goes. It's just, oh, you're talking about work. Well, guess what? Now you're talking about ice cream for 45 minutes. Can I be honest? Can I be honest?

can I be completely honest chocolate ice cream is good but is it chocolate ice cream you ever been like man I really want some chocolate ice cream look at yourself in the mirror a scoop of chocolate ice cream

a scoop of vanilla ice cream right next to it I think your decision's made a scoop of chocolate ice cream in a cup to me It just looks like, hey, you're going to have bad breath for the next two days. Vanilla ice cream, hear me out, is just a vehicle for your other favorite things. And when I say favorite things, I mean your favorite toppings.

You put a bunch of crunched up Oreos, Reesies, Snickers, Hot Fudge in vanilla ice cream? Oh, my God. Blade time. But you put that in chocolate ice cream? It's kind of like, it's a little overwhelming. And I like can't see it as well. I'm getting real,

real into this, but it's that serious. I'm like breaking down X's nose of chocolate and white ice cream, chocolate and vanilla ice cream. But it's that, it's this, this is how much it means.

But you know, what I can really get down with is that, Yo, when they Whoever the guy was that was like, okay, soft serve machine, we got chocolate soft serve, we got vanilla soft serve,

make them both twist. Bro, the twist feature on soft serve machines? Whoever created that, step forward. We have to kiss. I'm still amazed at how they... Is that on the Dairy Queen? Like... Is that in the, in the, I almost had audition.

The hiring process? All right, yeah. Okay, yeah, you know all the blavered, you know all the blizzard combos? Cool. One more thing before we give you the job. Do a cone perfectly. God, I thought it was so crazy the way they do that.

Dairy queen employee? making that twist cone like a tower, bro. Taller than the Empire State building and they just slap it in sprinkles. And I'm like, bro, covered in sprinkles. The sprinkles have sprinkles. Just blew my mind, man.

I was like, how do you guys do this so perfect every time? Then you go to a buffet? And you're like, man, I can do that. What happens? I'm like, I swear I'm doing this right. Ew, bro. When you try to make a, actually, you don't even, you don't even finish it.

You try to do a twist cone at like a golden corral. It looks like crap and you throw it away. And you just end up putting ice cream in a bowl. And that looks even worse. You're like, how come when I put soft serve in a bowl, it looks like a dog crapped in here. Heard a lot of rumors about blizzards. Oh my God, yeah, get that blizzard?

But ask for chocolate ice cream. No. No. I'm a vanilla guy. Let's keep you go. So this is very niche, but one day broke my heart, and it was when Taco Johns, a very popular Mexican fast food restaurant up in the northern United States decided to stop selling buffalo wings, boneless wings right from the fast food drive-thru. through. And yes, you could be sitting in your seat today saying gross, but they were delicious and they were maybe my favorite fast food item of the times. And when I went through the fast food

window one time tried to order it and they said it was discontinued. Like why? I maybe would have cried more than my worst breakup ever. It was one of my worst moments life went down just kidding life was life's fine but no it wasn't yeah no it wasn't there's a lot of those man food really hits

discontinued foods I don't know what to type in discontinued fast foods it's always fast food for me God man um Cini minis I was just like wait what are you talking about

Like I was honestly like in shock. No, we don't have those anymore. Oh, I guess I was the only one in the whole world buying those then. There's one that really hits, like crazy. Oh, KFC used to have some. Don't get me to start on KFC. KFC, bro, I was, people don't know the history of KFC. I do.

I do. And I have facts to back it up. My grandpa owned a KFC and I can't say it enough, man. Because that's like my, that's like I should put that on a resume, I feel like. They used to have this little bucket of ice cream.

Ah! Graham Cracker Bottom. What? Who's doing that? Different flavors, strawberry, chocolate, and they were just stash in my grandparents' freezer.

Never saw them again. People really don't know about Subway. Mm-hmm. Before the cookies. before the footlong cookie Subboy had cupcakes God, oh my God, it's the best cupcake I've ever had.

Nobody knows about Subway cookies. Nobody knows about Subway cupcakes, nobody talks about them. It's like they tried to erase them from history or something. I'm like, bro, a chocolate-on-chocket with a little kiss.

of icing on top. Don't need the whole thing covered. For once, don't need the whole thing covered. Just a little kiss on top. It did the job. Doesn't sound great, does it? Yeah, it's just a chocolate cupcake

with chocolate frosting on top, just a little bit of frosting. Yeah, but the whole entire thing inside was filled with fudge. There's not a trace of it on the internet. My daddy's coach football. They had their spring game every year and they called it the subway scrimmage.

The draw to get people to the spring game was free subway for everybody. Amazing. This is a big moment in my childhood life. Subway scrimmage? Subway scrimmage? Because I knew one thing was going to happen. Because I had to work it.

You know what I mean? My dad's the coach. I'm not just sitting around. Bro, I'm cutting. You know what I'm doing, though? I'm killing bees. you've heard about the subway scrimmage B massacre before. Just think party subs.

Think you've seen a subway. Sometimes a subway party sub is like a rare thing to see. It's like when you see a fox or something. You're like, whoa, hey! It's like, no, it's like when you actually see a horse when you're driving on the side of the road. Or a deer. You see a deer.

Hey, look! That's like when you see a subway party sub. You're like, whoa, you never see them, bro. But at like a vent, oh, baby, that, that, that, that braided bread. Subway party subs have bread and it's all the bread like, like spun together. It's the sexiest bread. I wish they offered that for just normal subs, but they don't. I'm talking about, like, maybe 80 party subs.

And they come on like boards, bro. and you're cut like squares of them all different flip and they're wrapped in like plastic wrap before you get them because the subway guy drops them all it's just it's an amazing process but it was a spring so bees were like and I think I killed I had to kill

192 bees that day I got in kill B activation mode and I was like sting me if you want just rampage bro Uh, uh, see ya, bang, ah, uh, anyway. So like, we got the hookup. My dad works the subway scrimmage.

He's a head coach. He runs the show. We get to take home all the subway after the game. We're eating subway for months. No one's sick of it. Nobody cares. At school, subway for lunch. Four weeks in a row.

Doesn't matter. Dinner, subway. breakfast subway doesn't matter but we also got the subway cupcakes that nobody knows about maybe they only like gave them

to the catering or so I don't know there might still be subway cupcakes in my childhood home somewhere in the freezer buried back there but bro those things you warm one up after school

heat subway cupcakes real ones no Arby's 5 for 5 I mean we've been down this road before Cini manis yeah yeah yeah

KFC has a lot of these McDonald's shakers mix salad shakers in a cup dude salad in a cup is something that I've dreamed of my entire life and I know it sounds lame but I'm like I think a lot of stuff

that we eat normally should just come in cup form Ha ha ha ha. Yeah. Chop everything up. I get a crunch. It should be a cup option. I'll take one crunch wrap Supreme in a cup. Okay.

They just slice everything up. Put it in a cup. I just drink it. KFC Twisters. I forgot all about those. KFC's revolutionary. That's what I'm talking about right there. Taco Bell Volcano menu.

And they had the hot fritos in the burrito. For me, top three all-time Taco Bell menu item. But that grilled cheese burrito is something different too. That grilled cheese burrito from Taco Bell is a monster. But my love is all. All you talk about this food. I asked an upperclassman girl to the dance. And apparently the only reason she said yes was because I did ask in front of the entire school.

She let me know about an hour later that she wasn't going to make it. to the dance with me so then I just didn't show up and I had to explain to the entire school pretty much person by person as to how I got rejected. Damn. But you know what? Some things you learn from

and other things aren't you 13 years later. Ballsy move, dude. Gutsy play. Girls out of your league? She's got to say yes. You probably did at the pep rally or something. honestly kind of a good move by her too like yeah like let's let's put on a show in front of the

whole school and then we'll really talk about this later good PR on both both sides for you guys dang man thinking ahead she made up an excuse just wasn't meant to be sometimes those dances you don't go to best nights your life i actually my plan going into high school was I had no idea that we even had dances. Going into high school, I was like, oh, there's, it is honestly, like, very overwhelming. I don't know if it was just me. How did, part 932 of how did everyone know everything?

10 years before me. I got to high school, homecoming. I was like, what the, we have to do this? I thought dances were over, bro. Then I was like, okay, well, I'm not going to homecoming. God. Winter formal. There's another one.

But the girls get to ask the guys. I was like, well, that's a relief, but they're still not going to do it. What a joke that was. Girls ask guys to the dance. I was like, in what world? I was like, oh my God, there's another. Never knew anything that was happening. I was trying to go every year in high school without going to a dance.

God, what a relief that would have been. I think I low-key might have only. almost one homecoming one year. I was like, wait, I might mess around and win. I don't even know if I'm going to go to the dance.

So much pressure, especially when you're a freshman. Dude, you ask, that is such a baller move. Asking an older girl to the dance. I was always my grade, bro. I was like,

I'm not getting, I'm not going, I'm not dating down and I'm not dating up. Like, we'll stay right here. She's got every right to say yes. But you date down.

It's like, damn, you must really like her. date up, it's like, shoot your shot. That's big time shot shooting. From deep. Never forget when I didn't go to

Homecoming freshman year. Had to convince all my friends. I was like, it's not going to be fun. Don't go. I was like, are you serious? You want to go to a dance? What's the cool part about that? I could not get through my head.

Just played video games the whole night. That's a relief. What up? So, I don't know if this is the type of heartbreak that you're looking for, but something that really breaks my heart, and it usually happens during every holiday, is that I don't get to spend the holidays with, like, the core people

that I used to spend them with, like, growing up. And that's just, you know, getting older and people just getting their own families, and then branching off to like, you know, there are also a significant other's family. But, you know, when you grow up, you know, usually spend every single holiday with like your core family members. And then like your, you know, your mom or dad's brothers and sisters, your aunts and uncles and your cousins.

And it's just crazy, you know, when you get older. And like that, like, holidays come. And like everybody's doing their like own thing because they all have their own families. So like I really just miss Just being with my own family And like spending those times together And I'm happy that I had like a good probably

You know 18 years of that my life And then when you get older you lose it And it's sad I mean I know Benny You don't really care about those traditional holidays And you'd rather spend them alone Which is fine for you. you, but for everybody else, it's a little sad.

Dude, no, I know. I've been there. Dude, you never knew. You never knew when the last Christmas with your core family was going to be, but it happened. The last core family Christmas? Watched it come and go? Hey, right in front of your face. Ah, yeah, see, I can't wait until next year.

there wasn't a next year yep people started getting married a year a one number one cousin gets married you're like okay yep nope

this is what happens how about your parents just letting that unfold without warning you too like hey this I might yo if I have a son I'm gonna be like

yo this might be like the last one dog like before shit starts breaking up oh when your family breaks up with you. Dog. Those holiday, when you're,

when you're like, it's really, it's, I know I talk about this all the time, but the best year is, is sixth grade. Because you really don't have shit going on. It's like you're old enough to like,

know some stuff, but like you still don't have commitments. You might have basketball practice like a week after Christmas, but you're like, dude just the the temperature in your grandma's house on Christmas

is I just can't even explain it it almost seems like there's a fog in the air every room has a main character in it kitchen your grandma's being so funny with your cousins playing cards your aunts in there they're laughing at God knows what there's like a

Like the kids room. You know what I mean? Somebody's playing video games. Some kid, your little cousin's doing cartwheels. Oh, oh my God. Your uncle goes,

has a, has a new video camera. He's, oh, you're right. Dude, the funniest commentary behind the camera

too. You're like, damn. You got like your celebrity cousins in the other room by the tree, you know, they're hanging out in there.

Oh, dude, he doesn't come. Yeah, dude. they live in Florida they're just here this time like we can't we couldn't wait to see they're here they're here he's in there yeah oh my god what's he sound like

you know you only see him every like eight Christmases everybody's talking to him oh my God and you go in the there's another there's like the corner of the Christmas tree room your cousin that got in trouble your cousin that got in trouble

and your grandpa's talking to him like let's just calm down right You got the table with all the food on it. This is after you like ate and everything. This is like, this is party time, bro. You got the, you got the room with the game on in it. Mm-hmm.

NBA game. Who cares about it? But you're all in. You got uncles watching that game. Like they got a thousand dollars on it. Oh, come on. Nix versus the Lakers. You're like, then all the sudden you hear, oh my God.

Yo, is that Uncle Anthe? Your cool ass uncle that comes late, you forgot. Oh, your cousin, dude, your cousins walk in that like, you, like, you were having a good time, but you're like, I wonder if they're, I don't think they're coming. But like that one, that one cousin walks in. Oh, they come a little later because they were doing. doing their own thing, but they're like, we're still going to go to grandmas. Your A1 cut, dude, your

number one cousin walks in. Ha ha ha. Wearing like a big coat because it's cold. Dude, they, they come in, they smell like outside. Oh, dude, what's all? Oh, yeah. Oh, hey. Your little cousin already kind of start in trouble a little bit.

It's been there for seven minutes. Already being a little too loud. you're like I don't I hope this night never ends bro oh they're eating pie dude you're eating pie you get a little you get a little like you get a little like extra like leeway on some things you can do because your cousins you're cool your your your dad knows your homies

with your cousin like big times all right yeah you can have some more pie yeah you if you want some you can have some play video games with your cousin and he just destroys your shit. You're like, whatever, though. Whatever. Never forget.

It's almost like, I don't even want to be awake when people have to leave. I'd rather just pass out on this couch and this, like, with this lighting. For that old, ooh, that grandparents' house Christmas lighting. It's so warm in there. Food everywhere.

Like the weird food starts to come out, the later it gets. Your grandpa's like, hey, you want a chestnut? You're like, what the hell? Yeah, give me a one. What are you talking about? Some weird neighbor comes over with like, uh, like some dessert. And you're like, I don't even know that guy. Yeah, that's your uncle Sam.

What hell's that? I don't know, but come on a Merry Christmas. Everybody's so happy. Hey, that'll never happen again, by the way. What a memory. Doesn't even seem like it ever happened No than I think about it Did I just make all that up?

Just keep going. It's two days. Thursday. Bomb pop day. What a moment bomb pops having. When one brand does something, man, it is a copy cat league out there, isn't it? Like, you guys are all cheating off the same test.

Bomb pop this, bomb pop beans, bomb pop drinks, bomb pop chips chips. bomb pop ass wipes bomb pop baby wipes give me a break yo bomb pop phone case

bomb how about this didn't even like bomb pops do I walk up to an ice cream ice cream truck in the summer last thing I'm picking is a bomb pop I'm picking the cotton candy swirl pop over bomb pop kind of lame

lame. Hot take never wanted one never had one never had those in my freezer never. Like if we were if we were getting popsicles God what were those called bro? It wasn't real but they said they had real fruit in them oh my god they were so good. The strawberry ones you know you guys don't

I'm talking about. Real fruit popsicles had to be like the 2000s. Fruit bars were they called fruit bars? Outshine? No, it was kind of like that though. Bro, I think it might have Oh, it might have been outshine.

Outshine fruit bars. It was the best tasting thing I've ever had in my life. I might get those. They had mango. They had variety packs. strawberry, tangerine raspberry,

whole fruit. That's what it's called. Whole fruit. Oh my God. Oh my God. When these were in our freezer, when my mom bought these and brought these home,

I'd give them 10 minutes before they were gone. These popsicles change the game. I'll take these all day over bomb pop. Any of that. And they fooled you to think you were eating real fruit. I was like, these are health. Whole fruit bars. I don't think they make them anymore. Heartbreak. That's heartbreak right there.

I just remember, dude, putting a whole, oh, the first taste putting a whole fruit, shoving a whole fruit bar in my mouth. It hitting the bottom of both rows of my teeth and me walking outside like this, fruit bar rolling down my face. You have fruit bar on your neck. I had fruit bar on my neck all summer. Oh, sticky neck. Get back here.

Whole month of June. Sticky neck. We're busting those down. Memory unlocked. Heartbreak unlocked. Catfish day. Catfish has been kind of quiet lately and I know you're listening to this. Did you get got?

Hate to say it, but I think you have to be pretty stupid to fall for a catfish. Like there's some girls that have gotten got twice by my catfish. And I'm like, you got to be pretty dumb the first time. Twice? I mean, hey, you deserve it. Like, I understand getting fooled, but twice?

A hundred percent not me. you gotta be pretty stupid to get tricked by a catfish have I been tricked by a catfish yeah but I'm not saying I'm smart you can always there's always something off that you're just like I mean come on

really there's always something a little too good to be true you gotta be pretty don't get got oh my god you could I got DMs from a girl you just literally stood me up again I'm like that oh my God that is not me

I don't believe it Friday Chocolate Pudding Day I haven't had it in years But I mean Pudding kind of a lost art Can we bring back pudding? It's a big kids

dessert How about we reintroduce pudding At like a fast food place Like a cup of like What about a pudding parfait McDonald's? Throw something in there Give pudding the respect it deserves

Pudding's like not do it it's cheap It's so good I would eat so many cups of pudding right now A bowl of pudding It's kind of exactly what you want Stirring up pudding That sound Top 5 sound

Just a bunch of creamy chocolate I'm about to eat Whip cream all over it Get out of here You stop eating pudding when you're like 10 Because you're just like I don't know I just, I don't know. Kind of sad.

You never knew the last time you ate pudding, but you did. Putting at buffets, I'm like, this is disgusting. Your mom's got to make pudding for me to eat it. Snack packs aren't bad, but it's literally one hit. You give me a snack pack? I'm... Saturday sunglasses day, never wore them in my life. You can tell because my face looks like a baseball mitt, okay?

I just feel so stupid when I wear sunglasses. I'm like, I can't, I can't, I can't just be out here. I got to, I got to wear sunglasses. I hate it when people are wearing sunglasses just because they're insecure too. I'm like, you're like, I think it's like, 98% of people wear sunglasses because they're like, I'm just like, I don't like, I don't want to be out here today. Face your fears. People wear sunglasses in the gym at LA Fitness.

I'm like, I mean. Okay, superstar on the leg extension machine. Dude. L.A. Fitness, by the way. $23 membership? Sunglasses. Okay, big shot. We're at a gym where the jacuzzi's been out of order for seven months.

We're at a gym where the hot tub hasn't been on in seven months sunglasses. I can't take it. Sunday. Cherry day. A bag of cherries, man. Used to be that guy.

Used to be that guy. What'll happen? What's the worst that can happen if I eat a bag of cherries every day? Nothing? You ever crack down on a pit, though? Oh, okay. All right, all right, all right.

Cherries are just playing with fire because you'll forget. I'm an idiot and I'll forget that there's a hard BB in the middle of every cherry. And I'll just, oh, it's so good. Oh, it's so good. Crack my jaw in half. Cherry's a top fruit, but man, that pit is, that's work. All right, let's do Coachby Court of the Week.

Cook, Coo, Coo Coo Coo Coo Coo Coo Coo Coo Cooch be core of the week. Here we go. Your composure is your power. Your boundaries are your dignity. Pretty good, pretty good. Pretty good. Here we go, though. Here we go.

Hold on, hold on, hold on. Got a gem. When it feels scary to jump in, that's exactly when you jump. It's always true. When it's the scariest, you know you got to do it. God, you know you got to do it. And you feel so guilty when you don't.

Why don't I do it? And sometimes I've not jumped in before. Plenty of times. and I'm sick to my stomach and I'm just like, why? I mean, what am I doing it for? You should be making a cannonball in that bit. Dude, the regret if you don't jump in.

It hurts way more than the fear of jumping in. Why didn't I just do it? If you died tomorrow, you'd be like, why the hell didn't I just do it? Who cares? Everything you wants on the other side of fear. Jump. Lock in, babe.

We're just getting started. We're just getting started. Yep. Couple good weeks under the belt. Seeing some progress. Doing all the right things. Can't lose if you're always winning. Simple as that.

Science. How's something going to go wrong if you don't do anything wrong? What the hell? How are you going to lose if you always win? How are you going to lose if you get a dub every day? Every day. Every task. Every single thing starts with waking up.

Literally, if I just get up. If I just get up at the time I'm supposed to get up at, if I, if I, I swear to God, it'll put me in a bad mood. Well, that's the time I say I'm going to get up every morning. and I usually do, but today, dude, if I go seven minutes... Oh! Put me in a bad mood, yo.

All you got to do is get up at the time and just start going. Dub. How you're going to lose if you keep getting them? Can't. All right, fam. Crazy. Love you guys for real.

Heartbreak's real, babe. Especially when it's in third grade. Especially when Dairy Queen's soft serve machine doesn't serve chocolate. but heartbraith's real. Love you guys. If you think of a question, let me know. Get the real psychos in here, babe.

All right, fam. Talk to you next week. Ha, ha, ha. Fine.