Espresso - unpopular opinions

Episode Date: November 26, 2020

This week Ben and comedians Ray Hensley AND Derek James go through The Fam's unpopular opinions ... like dipping peanut butter sandwiches into chili...⁽ʷʰⁱᶜʰ ᵃᶜᵗᵘᵃˡˡʸ ��ᵒᵉˢⁿ'ᵗ ˢᵒᵘⁿᵈ ᵇᵃᵈ ʳⁿ⁾  they try to figure out why girls are satanic when you sleep next to them, they rank fruit roll ups, gushers and fruit by the foot. Someone said Marvel movies are whack and the Espresso pod has something to say about that... Do you put water on your toothbrush before the toothpaste, or are you completely insane? Is seafood actually disgusting? The guys cover all the important topics then of course they go  #ViViViViral and do #DaysOfTheWeek but you already knew that 😎 𝘿𝙈 𝙤𝙧 𝙏𝙬𝙚𝙚𝙩 𝘼𝙉𝙔 𝙦𝙪𝙚𝙨𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣𝙨 𝙛𝙤𝙧 𝘽𝙚𝙣 𝙩𝙤 𝙖𝙣𝙨𝙬𝙚𝙧 𝙤𝙣 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙥𝙤𝙙 !>>>> 𝗗𝗼𝗻'𝘁 𝗙𝗼𝗿𝗴𝗲𝘁 𝗧𝗼 𝗥𝗮𝘁𝗲 & 𝗥𝗲𝘃𝗶𝗲𝘄! <<<<<  𝗣𝗲𝗿𝘀𝗼𝗻𝗮𝗹 𝗦𝗵𝗼𝘂𝘁𝗼𝘂𝘁𝘀: https://v.cameo.com/E48BXekQ29𝗧𝗶𝗸𝗧𝗼𝗸: https://www.tiktok.com/@benedictpolizzi?source=h5_m𝗬𝗼𝘂𝗧𝘂𝗯𝗲: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCXRwNZpU67AK24r5QGfIfCw𝗜𝗻𝘀𝘁𝗮𝗴𝗿𝗮𝗺: https://www.instagram.com/benedictpolizzi/𝗧𝘄𝗶𝘁𝘁𝗲𝗿: https://twitter.com/benedictpolizzi

The Espresso Podcast is brought to you by Wave 1 Media. If you want to start a show, visit thewave1.com. Is this too intense? Is that an advertisement? No, it's a real thing. Okay. All right. Yeah.

Look. Shot. Look. Shot 134. Espresso. I got Ray and Derek in the studio. Yeah. We're best friends. Yeah. I know you know.

If we all... If we all drink a beer we'd probably kiss yeah my name's Benny P I don't ever miss Ray yeah my name is ray my name is ray oh my name is ray my name is ray tell him i'm so fat kind of gay Derek, Derek, Derek, your turn. Fuck. Go. White power, James. White power. No, no. We're going to have to cut this whole thing out. Yeah.

Go. One, three, four. Espresso at the door. What the fuck? Come on. Why are you making me do this? Ray's fat. You can't.

Ray's got fat. He's got gal. You got your balding. God damn it. All right right i'm the hype man that was about to be so bad one two three four dude if you start out a freestyle rap counting i are we zoned what is this defense what is this the cipher get away from me i told you i? Get away from me. I told you I didn't want to do it. I told you I didn't want to do it, and you made me do it, all right? This is exactly how I smoke cigarettes for the first time.

What? How? I was pressured into it. Dude, I asked you the other day if you like smoking cigarettes, and you said no while you were smoking. You're the only person I know that does. That is not true. That is not true.

You only smoke cigarettes because comedians do it I don't smoke You're so annoying I don't smoke My mom My girlfriend He doesn't even hit like a vape He smokes cigarettes like he's from the Civil War

He has like matches He holds it like this The long one He has a long pointer He has like Cr. And he holds it like this. I get the long one. Thumb and pointer. He has a long pointer. He has like Cruella de Vil gloves. The other day, though, you wanted me to teach you how to ash a cigarette. I didn't even know. I have Catholic in my eye that I didn't know how to ash a cigarette.

So no, he goes, we were working on a bit and he needed a... You guys are still hanging out without me? Yes. I knew you were going to say that. I knew right when I said we were working on a bit, he needed a he knew you guys are still hanging out without me i knew you were gonna say that i knew right when i said we were working on a bit you were gonna be jealous but he goes how do you ash a cigarette and i go oh you you tilt it like that and then you hit it once and then you get it back in your or you can flick it i always do this this is super fun for the people to listen to no the guy video bro is this cry is there really yeah I've been picking my nose picking your nose and crying this whole time shit there's video he didn't tell me the first time I was on here I look like a fucking bum yeah I was wearing like hoodies and like

short I do like pictures I do like how you wore hey I do like how you wore a nice shirt but then decided to cover it up with two jackets it's like 30 degrees outside you felt too you felt too dressed up for us oh look at that why were you crying in your car before yeah why can you explain he walked in here and his eyes are so watery talking about ray not because i was out there waiting for 20 minutes while you guys were late you don't have heat in your car i do no no you guys were like let Do you not have heat in your car? I do. No, no. You guys were like, let's meet at 9.30 and record a podcast. And then 9.50, you guys rolled up. That's just how it goes now. Once you hit like, what, 25 years old, you're not on time anymore.

Dude. It's just the goal. It's like one of my pet peeves. Being late? Yeah, when people are late or when I'm late. If the podcast starts at 9. Wait, do you get mad at yourself when you're late? Yeah. Oh. Yeah. That's why I'm fat, because I'm late all the time are like wait do you get mad at yourself when you're late oh yeah oh yeah that's why I'm fat cuz I'm late all the time and I just eat my feelings hey really leaning into that today are you Derek you said you had

McDonald's for dinner yeah who's ever had that I didn't do here's the thing I was thinking about this on the way down here because I had okay so here's what I had all right I had a Mcchicken okay here's here's the thing about the mcdonald's order all right has just one nobody just has one you're full of shit all right here's can i tell you my normal down that dollar menu just give me all of them the apple pie can i tell you my normal mcdonald's order why are we all did we talk about apple fritters that's the only thing i talk about on this podcast apple fritters every time we're on here we talk about something like random dessert okay there we go this is the apple fritter podcast indian pudding podcast straight i still didn't get any of that what

is an indian pudding i think it's a native american pudding oh it's not it's the washington football team country we gotta stop dude why do we talk about Native Americans right around Thanksgiving? Bad timing. Okay, there we go. What was I even talking about? Oh, my McDonald's order. All right, so I've been toning it back lately, but here's the thing about the McDonald's order, all right?

Like you said, you have to get a McChicken, but you can't just get one McChicken. So you have to get two, all right? And then you're like, all right, well, I need something of substance because the McChickens don't really fill you up. You need a little beef, too. You need a little beef, right? So you get a Big Mac.

Why'd you look at me like that? A little beef. I was looking at him. You looked at me and just licked your lips. I thought I said beef. My lips are dry. Yeah, you're not hungry or anything my lips are dry keep talking about food um so you got a big mac so you get a big mac you get two mcchickens and then like obviously you

get a large fry that's pretty good order you get a large fry with you get two McChickens, and then obviously you get a large fry. Wow, that's a pretty good order. You get a large fry with it. But here's also the thing. What's the drink? Well, an unsweet, a large unsweet iced tea. Unsweet? Unsweet. Don't get sweet, dude. It's too sweet. It's too much.

But here's the thing. This is what I'm really bummed about is because if you order the large fry, you will eat it on the way home, and you'll have like half your fries left. Not bad. Which is not bad bad but to counter that what i used to do is i also used to order two of the chicken snack wraps off the dollar menu it's a good move so you eat grilled no you worried about like the pink slime stuff i still think about that no i don't care about that it's popping slime it's popping slime

what you don't know about the pink slime i remember the pink slime but what about the what'd you guys just what's popping slime it's like it's like a slang word like what's up dude yeah like a slang what's popping slime what's popping slang it's like a dad thing what's popping slang that's not it almost there we almost got it so cool can they hear us out there oh yeah they can hear us what's popping slime um but yeah so the whole order is two chicken snap wraps two mcchickens a big mac a large fry and a large unsweet iced tea and then you eat it on the way down to pick up ben to do a podcast just with your knees on the steering wheel and you're just dipping you know you feel like you can drive with your knees better than your hands dude i was thinking about that on the way yeah i was thinking about that on the way down i was like i can't text

and drive but i can eat all of this food while like my lights on and i can just you ever like not have your phone in your car and then like drive somewhere and you're like what the fuck do you do while driving now i know but i'm on a red light why am i not watching six videos right why i i could be tick-tocking right now it's so funny that that's like what we do while driving i don't know how to act without a phone in the car right like i don't remember the last time i drove somewhere and paid attention the whole time. You ever just listen to the radio now and you're just like,

what the fuck am I doing with my life? I listen to the radio all the time. I love the radio. You just bang out to AM? Yeah. Not to AM. AM sounds good. It's got that little... He only listens to the radio. It's got that little rustle behind everything. You're like, hell yeah. I don't even know what they're talking about, but fuck i like every once in a while you get like the two stations

like coming at the same time right that's how you get mixed that's how mixtapes are mixed why is am radio still around i don't know man don't you work for i don't think yeah i don't think am can i just want to fucking quit so bad i don't think am can ever go away i think it's just out there now it's got got to be available, right? Isn't that like free radio? It's government funded. Just like honeydew and fruit salad. What?

You ever think about that? Stuff that you're like, why is it there? Honeydew and fruit salad. I love honeydew. Well, Ray doesn't know anything about fruit salad. That's why he's riddled with gout. God. Gout? The oldest disease.

Gout's when you have too much fruit. All right. So, I don't know. Unpopular opinions. That's what we're doing this week. Oh, okay. Do you guys have one? Mine was room temp water tastes better than cold water. That's my unpopular opinion. Do you guys have one? Mine was room temp water tastes better than cold water.

That's my unpopular opinion. Do you guys have one? And then we'll get to the fam. Fam DMs. Yeah, alright. Showering with somebody else is horrible. People think it's the greatest thing in the world. It's not. Sleeping in another... Sleeping in a bed with another person in it is horrible.

I don't know. I have a king size bed. Oh, not me. I got a twin. It never really works out. It wouldn't matter with you. You start like it's horrible i don't know i have a king-size bed oh not me i got a twin it never really wouldn't matter with you like you start like it's gonna be good like when you're sleeping with someone else you start like oh my god yes and then like halfway through the night you're like in the living room you're like in the basement on your side of the bed and you're just like i'm so fucking hot right now how is she she not burning up? Yeah, my girlfriend does do that. I will sleep on my little sliver of the king-size bed. Why are girls so inconsiderate when it comes to sleeping, dude?

They stretch out and take all the blanket every time. There's no girl that exists that doesn't take the whole blanket. What she does is I sleep towards the wall and she will attach to my back. And then like... These girls think they can just take whatever the fuck they want. I'm the small spoon.

Just... I give out small spoon energy. I do. Start ranting about women. Just... My heart's been broken lately, guys. That's why I was crying in my car. So alone. All right. What's next? lately, guys. That's why I was crying in my car. So alone.

All right. What's next? Unpopular opinion. Yeah. Yours is sleeping in a bed with someone. I don't like that. And yours is showering with someone. Don't like either.

I cannot stand showering with another person. My girlfriend wants to do it. Vaginal intercourse? Overrated. I'm not going to go there, but... All right. Unpopular opinions. Jenna Sullivan.

I don't know who that is. I think I know her. Okay. It's not. No go there, but... All right, unpopular opinions. Jenna Sullivan. I don't know who that is. I think I know her. Okay, it's not. No, no, no. Oh, that's the name of the person. Unpopular opinions. Jenna Sullivan. Just got a random shout out.

Jenna Sullivan. Follow her. Add Jenna Sullivan. Unpopular opinions. Tommy Iyer. Pudding Prego sauce on goldfish crackers. Tastes good. Is that a thing?

That's not a thing. Yeah, that's like some weird... I know Tommy, and that's just... That's just like a high thing that he's stumbled upon? I don't know if he was high. I mean, he's got red hair. He's weird. He's pale.

What about... Have you ever had pretzels in ranch? Yeah, 100%. That's normal. Plus, we're from the Midwest, so we dump everything in ranch. Yeah, yeah. I got a buddy who puts applesauce on his pizza. Come on.

That's stupid. They do it every time. His whole family does. All right. What about peanut butter sandwiches in chili? That's a thing. Yes, that is legit. That's so weird.

That is not weird. Yeah, that's weird, even if it's good. That's the sweet and salty thing. Okay, it all makes sense, but the whole concept is weird. Like, who's like, yeah, this needs a peanut butter sandwich? You know what this chili could use? Not garlic bread or Texas does. You know it was like somebody who like...

PB&J without the j dude i love a good peanut butter sandwich and some chili that's so weird that reminds me of my mom noodles and chili not a fan that's an unpopular opinion i guess jimmy mccurran unpopular opinions jimmy mccurran he's a comedian from vegas frank sinatra is overrated. Bullshit. I don't know about that. That's going a little too far. He's good, dude. Block him. There's no other sound like Frank Sinatra.

When you hear him, you're like, that's Sinatra. Damn. He's going in. He's powerful. I don't know. I'm not a big Sinatra listener. But you gotta respect how good he is. It's like going like the Beatles. I'm not a big Sinatra listener. But you got to respect how good he is. You know what I mean? It's like going like the Beatles.

Eh, you know. I think they're bad. Like, they're not bad. Just because you don't like them doesn't mean they're bad. That's the point of this whole segment. It's an unpopular opinion. Unpopular opinions. Kurt Gerald's.

He's wrong. I prefer Chipotle over Qdoba. No. This is like the age-old argument. I get sick every time I have Chipotle over Qdoba. No. This is like the age-old argument. I get sick every time I have Chipotle. I'm four for four throwing up. How many times a year do they have their fucking lettuce on recall? It's because they say it's because it's so fresh.

Their ingredients are so fresh that it goes bad quick. That it gets e-coli. It's so fresh. It's so fresh we gets e-cola. It's so fresh. So fresh we have salmonella. It's so fresh they don't even wash it. Crawling up the walls. Doesn't Chipotle charge you for queso and guac? Or is it the other way?

You would know. He's never had a vegetable. He doesn't know what that stuff is. Guac, you know, the green sauce. Yeah, but he knows how now one of them charges you for guac yeah I think it's okay so they both charge you for really I don't remember which one either one doesn't I don't really care I mean either way they're good they're the same. I mean, they're both going to give you shit food. Diarrhea. Yeah.

Nice. Casey Smith, Unpopular Opinions. Pumpkin spice is actually fucking delicious and it's not basic at all. We got a basic bitch outside. What do you think about pumpkin spice, man? Pumpkin spice. Pumpkin spice.

Pumpkin spice. Huh? Okay. Pumpkin spice. Never been to Starbucks. It's okay. It's neutral. It's okay.

All right. It's okay. Wait. He's saying pumpkin spice is actually good. Yeah. Okay, he changed his mind. He came back. He went and got a coffee and came back.

And now we can't get rid of them. Oh, no. You're reading this whole thing. I don't think I've ever actually had pumpkin spice. You never had pumpkin spice? I don't think so. Yeah, you had to. It's in everything.

Oh, yeah. Bottoms up? Hell yeah, bud. Nice. All all right you got a side pain attention it's like a comedy it's like a heckler we just move on we just gotta move on he has nothing else to offer or my cup is that pumpkin spice latte pumpkin spice is good pumpkin spice is good. Pumpkin spice is good. I'll say it. Am I basic for it? Maybe. You are basic, but that's okay. It's good.

I'll get it in everything already. Still. Okay, bro. You stole a business ID. Doesn't mean you work. He has his driver's license. I think that's what he's showing us. And his credit card.

Oh, don't throw it on the ground. Pick it up. No, don't lose it. Get us some coffee. Of course it's getting weird. It's late night's press, dude. All right. Pumpkin Spice, you in or out?

I'm in. I'm in on Pumpkin Spice. Do what? Stop. God damn it. He can't help pretend he's not there. I can spice. Do what? Stop. God damn it. He can't help pretend he's not there. I can't. Do what?

It's your mom asking you something. Do what now? That's A. That's because we're A. That's because all three of us. I'm an attention whore. Somebody's giving me attention. Do what now?

That's because all three of us are from the Midwest And we can't help but be nice to somebody I know I can't help but ignore Can I tell you a story? My car battery died On Thursday So my buddy came to

I almost said bye to him I was like I'll just drag him back Talk soon? Drink sometime I just got a snap so oh my god anyways so my buddy came to jump my car right so he's parked in a parking spot next to me and i needed him to get a little bit closer and so he started backing up and my head was down like in my trunk, and this dude came by, but my buddy had only come out of the parking space like half an inch,

and he laid on his horn. So I like stood up, and I was like, what the fuck are you doing? And then obviously stopped, and he rolled down his window, and he's like, he's like,

he almost hit me. You gonna pay for this fucking truck if he hits me? And I got into a heated argument, but here's the thing afterwards i was like oh that felt really good is he still here nothing okay god damn it so what'd you say derek we're not gonna be able to use any of this no that's okay it's okay unpopular opinions kelsey car. I don't know her. Is she nice? Blended is the best Adam Sandler movie. Unpopular Opinions.

What's blended? I have no idea. I know you have no idea what that is. You do? I have no idea. No, I don't. Where's the guy who usually Googles shit? He should be in here, but I don't know.

Last time we did a podcast, we were like, let's just do it by ourselves. Let's kick the other guys out. Blended, never even heard of it. I'm going to check it out, though. I like Click. Okay, here we go. Click, nah, it's too sad. GA Beck 90, unpopular opinions.

I think it's Gabe. Gabe C90. Gabe Beck. Gabe C. Gabe C90. Yeah, you're probably right. What did I say? What did I say initially? Gabby. Gabe C. Gabe C-90. Yeah, you're probably right. What did I say? What did I say initially?

Gabec. Gabec. I always see stuff the wrong way. Hey, did you panic when you had to read out loud in school? I usually knew. You know you count. Like, okay, we're going around the room, and then I'm like four people on the fourth paragraph.

Let me read it real quick and get my shit right. And then was time for me to go i'd be like bang i will say this you never context of what you're reading nope like these are the fucking words this is what it is the dude before me could have read the paragraph i would read the same exact thing uh the hottest you ever look the hottest you ever look is when you're doing the intro for this podcast you have to do like your wave one sponsor like i've ever oh my god yeah i forgot to do that this time it's okay but you're like that's okay thank god because i would have been rock hard did i shit you not i go that's so impressive i man he'sso Podcast is brought to you by Wave One Media. If you want to start a show, visit thewaveone.com.

That's why he listens to the radios. That's it. Because he wants to hear your voice. AM radio. AM radio. He's like, fuck that. Do you really work for AM radio? No, I work for...

I don't know. Is there still... No, I work for FM for sure. 1070's on there. Okay. unpopular opinions caris nicole calamari is weird and disgusting it's not unpopular i mean i'll eat it but seafood in general is like we don't know if it's good or bad it's good but like also kind of in my head i'm like this is a big cricket it's a fucking sea cricket it's a big spider what's

calamari squids yeah yeah yeah that's all right right it's kind of weird it's fried how can you not like it you like shrimp you like shrimp yeah yeah but if you saw a shrimp you'd be like i'm not eating that yeah who got to that point right i've eaten raw shrimp the legs on shrimp you ever scraping the bottom of an ocean picked up a lobster and went like throw this on the grill bro i bet if we boiled this fucking thing they're like should we kill it first like no no no we're gonna cook this shit alive just get some of those just get some of the weirdest sauce to dip it in it screams when it's in the pot is it really oh yeah dude when you cook cook lobsters they're like it's so rude they say health they do they talk

all right here we go kevin fee un okay nope all right i like how you don't pre-read these sometimes they're just like the most random shit unpopular opinion Ben Polizzi's podcast isn't that good yeah seriously Ben's like nope not reading that okay not that one damn

why don't you say their names and be like not this one I'm Jess okay some of the answers are so bad they are dude i but i like okay okay hold on i like how you say their name and then go god they're just so bad i have to know like i'm randomly just clicking on them sometimes people like don't write well and i'm like all right tom greg gordon's greg gregor it's unpopular All right. Tom Gregorits. Unpopular opinions. I think it's Gregzits. Maybe.

Unpopular opinions. Ketchup is superior when chilled. I agree. No room temperature bullshit. Nice hot and cold action when dunking my fat ass into some French fries. Is this your burner account right oh yeah you don't eat ketchup my bad here's the thing here's the thing i will eat room temperature ketchup but i completely agree that refrigerated ketchup is better than room temperature i started

to do everything room temp for a while because i was like i do water i do some of the like why put yourself through this like what weird game are you playing? My dad keeps ketchup room temp. And I was like, it's never that bad. Then I was like, cold ketchup is kind of weird. Sometimes it's too shocking for me. It's too shocking? A little bit, dude.

Fresh on something hot? It's too jarred. It's kind of like, whoa. It's too jarred. Wait a minute. Whoa, yeah. It takes me back. This tomato paste is too cold. It's too jarred. It's kind of like, whoa. It's too jarred. Wait a minute. Whoa, yeah. It takes me back. This tomato paste is too cold.

It stresses me out. But then it started to feel weird when it was just sitting around in a cabinet. I was like, ah, a little too watery. I think it made it more watery. Yeah, you got to shake it up better. It's like money. Here's the thing.

Do you put your peanut butter in the refrigerator? No, but I always think about it i know i have yet to try it but but it is it's tempting like i need it sounds good i need to throw away a couple ranch bottles that are almost empty just to make space but i think i'm gonna do it my canadian buddy doesn't put his butter in the refrigerator. I just saw an unpopular opinion. He just leaves it on the counter. Room temp. Room temp butter.

Really? Room temp butter? On the counter? He just leaves it on the counter. That's how your dog's going to get it. He's got like a butter table. It's like on his coffee table right in the middle of it. Can't believe it's not butter.

Next to like a couple magazines. He's got like crackers around it. You're expecting people? Wait a minute. Is this a Super Bowl? He just digs his crackers into the butter like it's a cheese log. He just got fucking loose butter all over the place? Jesus.

Yeah, he does. And yeah, when I first went over to his house, I put it back in the fridge. He's like, oh, no, no, no. We don't do that here. Here, we got one. We got one. This is Canada. Kate Easter, unpopular opinions.

Stale, puffy Cheetos are the move. No. No. Those are good puffy Cheetos are the move. No. Those are good. Some things are better stale. Yes, soda. All soda. Better flat and ice cold.

I love shit like this. I've had it before and I'm like, I can drink this. Normally when you have some fresh ass Sprite or something and I'm like, I can drink this. Because normally when you have some fresh ass Sprite or something, you're like, I want to be hiccuping. Yeah.

I didn't want hiccups. But no, flat, cold, Diet Coke, Sprite, Mountain Dew. I'm with that. Can you buy it flat? You just have to go to like a Dollar General. Salt flat! Dollar General. general yeah we got it yeah we've had this shit for a long time it's cool now we've had it the whole

time she's just ringing it up she's like just this i gotta it's like a dairy queen you know they fucking let all the how did the bubble stay in there? You ever think about that? It's because the cap keeps it from... You know what I mean? What's that word? You couldn't think of a word for releasing? It just keeps... You know, it just keeps it in. No, but like, all right.

So if you take a straw and you like blow into the water, right? Yeah. All those bubbles are going to come out and up. How does the carbonation stay in the water? I think they shoot it up its butt, like the bottom end of it. See, nobody knows. Well, I mean, I don't. You're the smartest of the three of us.

You should know. You teach kids. I don't teach kids. All right, unpopular opinions. Don't put that on me. Unpopular opinions. Unpopular opinions. Don't put that on me.

Unpopular opinions. Price. Bryce Paul. Gushers are not a good snack. I only brought them to school to trade for chips. Damn, bringing Gushers to school to trade is a baller ass move. Like, I don't even want these. That's high currency.

How good is your life? If you have Gushers to's high currency how good is your life if you have if you have gushers to begin with how good is your life if you're trading them off like there's like they're a free agent like they're just to you you know what i mean you're like uh no this isn't caviar get the shit out of here just horn around gushers iers. I don't know, man. They're good. It's just because they're different. I love Gushers. Gushers are better than Fruit Roll-Ups. Dude, Fruit Roll-Ups are better than Gushers. No, no, no. Get the fuck out of here. Dude, Fruit Roll-Ups are like a

toy. They are. In the smell. No, no, no. Take them all the way apart. Did you always do that when you were a kid? What? The Fruit Roll-Ups? Yeah. They come with the stencils, right? Yeah. And so you just peel apart.

Oh, that is fun, dude. Yeah. See, all right. How do you fuck with that? All right, that's where Gushers doesn't stack up. Hold on. But taste-wise. Derek, we're having a conversation.

Because you're both wrong. No, we're not. Okay, the best part about Gushers, honestly, is the packaging. How the paper's a little thicker. You're like, this is special. Okay, the worst part about Gushers, honestly, is the packaging. How the paper's like a little thicker. You're like, this is special. Okay, the worst part about Gushers is when they are exploded. And then you pull them out and they're all like stuck together. And then you just...

Yeah, he's like, all right, we're doing... This is one piece. And then just... That's a good part about Gushers. Can I tell you why you're both wrong? Go ahead, go ahead. All right, because... You have the floor.

Because fruit by the foot... All right, the best part... No, I hate fruit by the... Green apple Gushers are the bomb. knew this was gonna happen okay go ahead no you're wrong fruit by the foot is the is the best is better than both of them fruit by the foot yeah is amateur hour that's like that's like high school where gushers and fruit roll-ups are college no because you have you have you have more options for Fruit by the Foot. First of all, you open it.

You pop the wrapper. All right? Yeah. All right? Then you take it and you can whip it. I like where this is going. You go... All right?

And then you got an option. All right? You can savor it by putting the whole thing... You rip the paper off, put the whole thing in your mouth. All right? And then just slowly eating it throughout the day. Yeah. Or you can mold it up into a ball and you pop that whole shit in there all right you got more options i do

like the the fruit by the foot tail how it's overlapped right do like that yeah the plus you put the pop the fucking wrap i've never popped it and whipped it dude this is a dance are we talking about fucking fruit by the foot you pop it it, whip it, savor it, and throw it in your mouth. Fucking just whips. Yeah, dude. You were such a kid that had fruit by the foot. I'm surprised you don't have that tatted around your forearm.

It's like a barbed wire or something like that. Yeah, there's a fruit fat guy tattoos. He's got a fruit roll-up. So you're a fruit by the foot guy. Are you gushers or fruit roll-ups? I think I convinced you. I think, I don't know. I'm still gushers.

Whatever that jelly or whatever is inside of it. I can't believe you like fruit roll-ups. You put that on toast. What is a fruit roll-up? It's just... Breaking each gusher and putting on a piece of toast that's a that's your next tiktok dude i would watch that forever oh my god he's breaking each one he's good did he just get that peanut butter out of the refrigerator can we talk about how you open peanut butter

and how aggressive it is i tried to do it I got sick of peeling it off and failing. And I was like, what if I just pop this bitch? The peanut butter is not going to explode like a bag of M&M's. You can't get it. I tried to do that the other day. Well, it's not the really healthy peanut butter. It's just like the normal consistency. GF or whatever.

Do people know how you open peanut butter? I mean, they've seen the video. I just uncap it. There's that sturdy, like kind of sturdy thing. Paper on them? Yeah, paper. Wow. Yeah.

That's so weird. It's like spot on what that is. Yeah, it is. And I just squeeze the jar as hard as I can until it pops. And if I can't get it to pop, I take it on the corner of the counter. I tried to do that. I tried to do that. I couldn't physically do it.

How strong are you? No, some peanut butters are different. Jif is poppable. But if you get an off-brand peanut butter, sometimes the paper aluminum is a little stronger. So you've got to use the corner of a counter. I was doing Jif. I had chunky...

Okay, maybe it's the opposite. I think Jif is hard to open. Okay, I had chunky Jif, and I couldn't... That glass jar, and he's like.... I think jif is hard to open. Okay, I had chunky jif, and I couldn't. That glass jar. He's like. Yeah, you were trying to do a jelly. Breaking all over your hand, bleeding down your arm. It's like a jar of pickles.

He's like. I can't do it. Oh, I'm not as strong as Ben. With ketchup. It's ketchup. Cookout. Dad, watch. I saw this video. Worth a try. Dad, watch. I saw this video.

Fourth of July. Oh, my God. Just explodes all over the white drywall. The Bontavages, the big fucking murder scene up there. Heinz 57. Yeah, and he's like, ah, Ben got me. Okay. JJ Tenney, unpopular opinions marvel movies aren't good quality at all shut the fuck the

villain is never a real threat shitty dialogue predictable endings lame that's a real that guy that's a strong unpopular opinion that That is very strong. That's like... Because he's going to be like, Justice League was the best movie ever made. He's like, all right, dude. I wonder what he... That's what I want to know. What does he think about those movies?

Because that's like the real opinion. There's no way those DC movies stack up to the Marvel movies. And I just watched all... Marvel movies are like action-packed. They're funny. And it's like almost believable. Have you actually seen a Marvel movie? They're not dark and gloomy and shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're likevable. Have you actually seen the Marvel movie? They're not dark and gloomy and shit.

Yeah, they're like fun. Have you actually seen a Marvel movie? Dude, those are the only movies I've seen. Okay. Marvel movies and all the rock. But like what if this dude comes back? In the notebook. What if this dude comes back and is like,

yeah, dude, Where's My Car is like the greatest movie ever made. You know what I mean? Like I want to know what he's comparing it to. I didn't see the ending coming on all those Marvel movies. I'm always like, oh shit. Like Endgame, bro. That's because you've seen...

Endgame. How did you see that coming? How does he see Thanos as not being a threat? The dude fucking killed half of everything. I know. With a snap of his finger. And not powerful enough for me. It's just not good enough.

Not a threat. Yeah, he beat all of the Avengers. Half of the people died. In the whole universe. He killed Tony Stark. He didn't kill Tony Stark. But you get it, right? The actions of Thanos led to the death of Tony Stark.

Thanos beat the shit out of Thor and Loki and then all of them all at once. Thanos just fucking owned them. Yeah. Not a threat yeah not a threat not a threat killed the main character not a threat thanos ruined their lives for five years while they were just like oh i'm sad let's go kill thanos and then they killed him and he was still who saw the ending coming of what in end game oh when tony stark oh that was sad no one knew that was coming that's not predictable i saw it was coming because somebody posted it on facebook seriously yeah oh that's who wants to be the spoiler guy who wants to be all three of us

just you know i mean it's not after like a year i think it's like you can say it but i was reading like a uh like this argument on Facebook and these people were just going back and forth. And you read it and you're like. And then somebody commented on there. Black Widow and Iron Man die in Endgame. I'm like. Damn, Black Widow dies?

I forgot about that. Yeah, she does. Yeah. But she has her own movie coming out. All right, here we go. Luke Santavica, unpopular opinions. I love I say the name and you double check it every time you're wrong you idiot

come on guy that's pretty good though that's Santa Vica yeah he's probably like it's not that he goes cold pizza is gross seriously take a minute to throw it in the microwave and get it warm no I kind of agree no I don't have that kind of time

cold food is 30 seconds, bro. Cold food is way better than microwave food. I'd rather eat cold. Sometimes I'm just so hungry, I don't care. You know? I don't like cooking. So, like, if I don't have to cook something, then I'm way happier.

But I will microwave a pizza for 30 seconds. You know what I mean? Well, no, because then you've then you got like half a pizza that's like half hot and then like you bite what about do you have enough patience to put pizza from the night before in the oven no dude i swear to god if you do that that pizza's better than when you got it right yeah no i've done it yes but you gotta have like mad patience yeah i don't i don't really know what kind of... Yeah, nobody's got time for that. You just said I don't have time for that, but yet you're ovening pizza that you've already cooked.

Well, my roommate did it. My roommate puts everything in the oven, dude. Everything, bro. Everything. Everything. Everything. He'll put eggs in the oven. He's like, I'm making chili.

You can make oven eggs. He just puts chili in the oven. Like, what are you doing? Every single thing. Capri Suns, everything. Capri Suns. Gushers. Gushers.

Oven roasted Gushers. All right, we got 13 minutes. Let's move on. Let's do viral. We're going two hours. Five, five, five, viral. Maybe we'll go like, what did we start off? 50 minutes?

We can tack on 10 to that, right? Yeah, we've got a whole hour. We've got a whole 10 minutes of some dude looking at the window. All right, here we go. Viva, viva, viral. Hashtag start a fight in four words. Start a fight. I think your mom's hot.

That's five. Me too. Start a friendship. I think your mom's hot. That's five. Me too. Start a friendship in four words. What's your mom's snap? What's your mom's snap? I don't know. I kissed him once. I kissed him once?

It didn't have to be like that. You think those are fighting words yeah your mom's cooking sucks like you don't want to be like i know my mom's cooking is like good i'm not gonna say everyone's mom is a good cook except for mine my mom's a good like your mom has her dishes you know she might not be like the best cook in the world but she has like two things that you're like yeah my mom can kill that oh yeah turkey tetrazzini my mom can kill that shit what the fuck is a tetrazzini turkey tetrazzini never even heard of that stop it swear to god google it at you. You've heard of turkey. Damn.

Tetrazini? I've never even heard of that word. Turkey. Sounds like a math class you have to take. That's Ben's cousin. It's like turkey and a bunch of stuff. Dude, you eat it so much. Spaghetti, white wine, breadcrumbs, anything with... I'm a bitch

for breadcrumbs. Stuffing. I don't know why some cultures make fun of casseroles. Casseroles are fucking amazing. Nobody? Like, what's your favorite? I never, my family never did casseroles, so I have no clue. Like, we do like the green bean casseroles. Those are good.

That was your mom's like go-to. Macaroni. Baked macaroni and cheese. My mom made that baked macaroni and cheese and everybody got excited but I was like, I kind of like Velveeta.

Velveeta. I do love Velveeta macaroni. It's fire. So good. I like how it was like start a fight in four words and all of us are like, food.

All right. So an example is like pineapple a fight in four words and all of us are like food all right so an example is like pineapple should be on pizza that's five but you know what i mean start a fight with a handful of words start a fight in one sentence we'll change it four words but like that's like pineapple should be on pizza i don't i love this whole things about food yeah yeah no yeah it's fine for sure it's fine i don't know you've done anchovies on pizza yeah for sure is it good yeah i like anchovies i like straight up anchovies i like straight up cheese pizza cheese is good yeah just straight up plain

up plain just dip it and whatever you want not Not too much sauce. I'm the opposite. My family orders pizza and we go light cheese, extra sauce. Really? Yeah. Is that some psycho shit? Thin crust? You guys like it flat? Sometimes.

It just depends. You see, you got to go deep dish if you like sauce. Deep dish pizza is super weird to me. Really? Yeah. Chicago's deep dish? Like a principle? It's weird.

Deep dish pizza? It's just like so unnecessary. It's like, damn, I'm already eating pizza. Why did you make it a literal pie? I need more of this. I do. I do. I don't understand.

He's never had carbs before in his life. Oh, something really pissed me off. The last podcast you two did. And you were like, don't you hate when people order? No, Ben was like, don't you hate when people order like a 13-year-old? And I was like, dude, I've literally been in an IHOP where I watched you order me pancakes with sprinkles on them that was right some chicken we did like talk about that for 10 minutes some chicken tenders i didn't order chicken and then a grilled cheese i was like you ordered a peanut butter sandwich because there's nothing there was nothing on the menu without

meat dude like four o'clock in the morning at an ihop i got a pb and jay like grilled cheese and a kid's mountain meals you made you know that cook back there just going fuck i gotta get out everything is there a field trip here that's for one guy at like four in the morning remember we had just all of us had just bombed an entire week the last weekend of actual comedy in dayton ohio why was that city vacant when we went there too i like went on a run in the morning and like all the like it was all boarded up before anything happened yeah what did the joker just come to this town i do love that city's dead anyway it was weird bro even the crows were like bro

like indianapolis is like pretty lively right yeah and then you go to like dayton like it didn't even look like they who died i know it looked like a fake city that they use for movies i was just the one that mannequins everywhere on the side of the transformers destroyed and they're just like that's like where the army trains and shit date Dayton, Ohio. That's where they do their close quarter shit. It's a big Call of Duty map. Where are you dropping, bro? Dayton. What was that movie? The Gamer?

The Gamer? I don't know, man. Not Russell Crowe, but the dude from 300. He was running through a city. I don't understand why you bring up movies and he has not seen them. All right, hashtag. Does it ever take you a second

like you're doing right now to figure out hashtags? I don't make these. I get them all off of Twitter. No, no, no, no. But like when you're like, you're like, all right, where's the space is that?

And you're trying to like separate it out. Oh, yeah, it's kind of a bitch. i'm kind of used to it though ways to improve thanksgiving yeah hashtag ways to improve thanksgiving it's already pretty good right oh here's my unpopular opinion jesus christ go ahead go ahead no this is good not a huge fan of turkey even dark meat dark meats i get so all right how's the turkey i i think ham is better than turkey what about this how long did it take you how old were it were you when you found out that dark meat was better than people that still like white meat i'm like are you serious do you have a tongue what it's not it's dry it's like a cat's tongue yeah what is that why

why is there even an option yeah no but nobody wants to touch dark meat and it's like why not why i don't know i don't i mean i dude i didn't eat dark meat until i was like 25 goes quick where's the dark meat at i don't know on the turkey it's just wherever it's a leg and thigh oh it's that okay so you remember you remember the lion breast and wing is white leg and thighs don't like I don't like breast anything it's so I like chicken breast it's so weird to say that can I get a chicken breast I'm like it's just grilled chicken. How about that? Yeah. Chicken breast. I don't like chicken breast. You just don't like breasts. I have to.

So. Stop. Stop touching me. I said no. All right. Let's do days in a week. Waste and improve Thanksgiving. Less dishes would be cool.

Less dishes. I always get stuck doing the fucking dishes. Really? Just put it all on. All of my brothers and sisters like my mom will spend like two days cooking right and then all of my brothers and sisters will just kind of like fuck off and then i'm sitting there just going you feel bad i'm just like i'm not gonna let mom do it you know i mean because my mom's that kind of person well she'll get up and start

doing the dishes immediately i always feel bad for the person doing the dishes yeah so i always just go it's always your aunt just why crazy. So I always get in there and just start washing the dishes. Back to the dining room. Yeah, I've washed the dishes on Thanksgiving every year since I was a fucking kid. That's your tradition? Just Dawn soap

in a wet t-shirt by your stomach. Why is it always right there that's kind of wet? After you get done doing dishes. Always, yeah. And I'm just like... In my head, I'm like grateful fucking pieces. Ungrateful.

Just I hate my brothers and sisters. You judge the plates. In that moment. Yeah. I was like, you couldn't finish your fucking. Do you cover everything with gravy? No. I'm not a huge gravy person.

I do like country fried steak, though. This whole podcast is just. Dude, food's amazing. How do you make Thanksgiving better better derek i i would say why do we have to dress up for thanksgiving you're with your family just you guys you guys do like you dress up like pilgrims yeah no i put my penny loafers on no um i'm just saying i don't need to wear jeans to thanksgiving we're thinking about like nice clothes and his whole family's dressed up in black. I don't know.

Wicker baskets and shit. And also just take away I'm good. You guys, I don't even know why you invited me on this. Water valley gushers. You guys, I don't even know. Days of me on this water gallon gushers you're mad you guys i don't even know days of the week days of the week days of the week wednesday fuck wednesdays they suck now national no the worst day of the week is tuesday but

wednesday national play with dad day ray you do have one of those though i do i mean i got a mom too but sort of okay national play with dad day yeah no my dad would uh he'd go outside when i was a kid and throw the ball yeah it hit a point where my dad wasn't fucking with me anymore though you know he was i think he just got i think my dad aged out of being able to throw the ball that's where it is when there's always a last time you and your dad throw the ball. Your dad does. It's that one time you wild throw it, like, foot over his head. He's just like, fuck, I'm going inside.

And then that was the last time you ever threw the ball with your dad. It's never like that last time. I would overthrow my dad like six houses down. I remember. It was never like a pop into his mitt, and he'd look at you and go, that's a throw, son. I think we're done. He was always the one that broke a window down the street. I remember...

Whoops! Before it even hits the window, your dad's already closing the door to the house behind you. Locked. Derek, oh my god. Shut up. Let him go. I feel bad for Derek. The shutter's closing.

I'm good. Don't worry about it. No, let him go. I feel bad for Derek. I'm good. The shutter's closing. He's not talking to me. I'm good. Don't worry about it. No, I'm here. I'm blocking him out. You're not just facing forward. You're just talking to me. All right, all right, all right.

I could have been at home. Hey, hey, Wednesday. Hey, this is yours. Don't get upset. National. Hey, shut up for this whole time. National Parfait Day, Derek. Why is it mine?

That's a softball for Ray. Because I feel bad. I know. Ray can nail this one. All he thinks about is parfaits. Low key, though, right? Go ahead. You're talking about the McDonald's one?

The peanut butter parfait from Dairy Queen to fire. Oh, peanut buster far parfait yes i've never had that it's pretty it's pretty good um ray would you like to comment no this is all you he's itching to comment and we're talking about dairy queen you can't get in on this salivating right now i don't know man i have no opinion on peanut butter parfaits salivating right now. I don't know, man. I have no opinion on peanut butter parfaits.

It's just parfaits. Thursday, National Cake Day along with Thanksgiving. Wasn't National Cake Day the other day too? Or was that Pudding Day? That was Pudding Day. It was Indian Pudding Day. Did we just talk about birthday cake? No, we just talked about how sweet potatoes with ice cream would be so good and we're right that

should be a thanksgiving thing that's a way to improve thanksgiving sweet potatoes with ice cream vanilla ice oh shit fucking we're talking about it like we didn't just talk about it for six minutes in the last podcast yeah i love how can you imagine holy shit honestly that it would be so good i love how this went from a somewhat sports podcast never was well no but you would talk about some sports yeah and now it's now it's just like all right what rickley food what foods can we mash together yeah god damn it food and kind of homophobic podcast. I'm doing it Thursday. What? I'm bringing vanilla ice cream to my parents' house.

And say, Mom, put these on the sweet potatoes. She always makes sweet potatoes. I'm doing it Thursday. If you just tuned in at that moment on the podcast, you'd be like, wow, Ray's getting laid. I'm bringing sweet potatoes to my mom's house. No, I'm bringing vanilla ice cream. Yeah. sweet potatoes to my mom's house. No, I'm bringing vanilla ice cream. Do it, dude. Honestly.

I don't think you will. I think you're going to be like, I couldn't because of this and that. I forgot. No, I'll go get it. I forgot the ice cream. I'll go get it. What's the thing that you always put on Twitter?

Yes, sex is cool, but have you ever mashed sweet potatoes with vanilla ice cream? There you go. That's a thing. That's a tweet. Friday. We didn't even talk about cake.

Okay. Sam, you would bring that up. Of course. Favorite cake. We didn't even talk about cake. Favorite cake. What's your favorite cake, Derek? This is so funny.

Yo, what's your favorite cake? It's carrot. All right, move on. Ooh, carrot cake. It's a sleeper. I know, dude. It is so funny. Yo, what's your favorite cake? It's carrot. All right, move on. Ooh, carrot cake. It's a sleeper. I know, dude. It's so good. I used to get carrot cake for my birthday,

and kids would just be like, what? Why? And they would never want to come to my parties. It's like, because carrot cake slaps, all right? Carrot cake's for an age, you know? Yeah, I've been- Before 25, you're like, ew, that's my mom's cake. No, I've been on the carrot cake grind since 6.

Grind. Carrot cake grind. Like it's hard. Yeah, it is hard. I've been working, bro. What you been doing? Eating carrot cake. It sucks being 80 at 6. No, have you ever had like Outback's carrot cake? Is it fire? Do they have the best carrot cake? No, Ruth Chris has the best carrot cake no ruth chris has the best carrot cake i've never been yeah no you haven't you guys are fat as hell

no carrot cake this is a this is a weird sexual addiction that you have where you get two fat guys on your podcast and then you just like serve them food honestly i love talking to big guys about food you guys just know how to attack it. You know what I mean? You know how to lay it on the plate. It's like a whole different game when you're a bigger dude. We say all the things you wish you could say. I know.

You did say that to me once about how I ate it. I forgot how we ate together after the show. We went to a little diner, and I threw some stuff on top of something else. And you're like, I didn't think that was going to be good, but it's just the way you attacked it. It's like only you. Okay.

Dude, that time when we were at that hotel and you're up working on something, we come up and you're just snacking on like nine different nuts. It's so good. It just looks squirrely. The lady kept bringing you more nuts. That was awesome. And then he didn't tip her. Did I not?

No, he didn't. I'm just messing. I don't want to come there. Me and Derek were clearly annoying you, so we left. Okay. Friday. National.

Okay. We got to talk about this. What's after carrot cake though like what's two oh it's a huge drop off if i'm being honest like what is it is it red velvet is it confetti it's good confetti is a draw just because we're six year olds and we're like oh sprinkles i like german, that's good It looks like a baby threw up on a cake That's German chocolate cake It does look good, though

Yeah, you're right with the red velvet Red velvet's good Kind of overrated, but What about just straight up just fucking chocolate chocolate Reminds me of Matilda Oh, man Another movie you've seen. Goof is Guster or whatever his name was.

What was his name? I don't know, but... Matilda? Matilda? Goof is Guster? What was his name? Who? The fat kid that ate the chocolate cake.

Do you know all the fat people from... Everything that's ever happened. From the movies? Do you know that one? Who's the guy who used to hit the knuckle puck in Mighty Ducks? Who already knows all the fat characters. What is his name? I don't know. That's why I'm asking you.

Oh. And then do you know the fat guy from... The fat kid from the Willy Wonka who falls into the... Hey, where are you guys at with salted caramel? Oh, love it's good it's hard to like fuck up candy salted caramel is like kind of a it's kind of broken in these last like few years i think the caramel's always been there but salted like i knew like oh yeah maybe the last like eight years you know what i've been really into just straight like fudge bars like just fudge out of the freezer just fudge no not like out of the freezer like if you like go to like a like a room temperature fudge raw dog and fudge like if you go to like a fudge factory

or something where are those i went there's one in missouri that i stopped at two last time when i was on the road this place is in your this place is called point a to point b but I gotta stop up at a fudge factory midway you cool with that this place no this place is called Uranus fudge factory real no wonder you went yeah and we stopped and it's it was the greatest fudge I've ever had in my life seriously next time we're on the road we we're going. Fudge factories. We're going to Ohio, yeah, but we've got to go to Missouri first. Quick stop, quick stop. National...

Oh, Black Friday on Friday. Do you guys... No. Oh, Black Friday. Everybody's done it once. Yeah, you've got to do it. You've done it once. I've never done it. Really? You haven't gone to Walmart at like 2 a.m.? Just like see? No, thank you. It doesn't look fun at done it? Once. I've never done it. Really? You haven't gone to Walmart at like 2 a.m. just to like see? No, thank you.

It doesn't look fun at all to me. What if you never needed anything? No. That's not out of the question. Don't say no like I have a dick growing out of my face. Do I look broke? I can afford a regular TV at $100 more. That's not true.

Do you like it? That's not true at all. I know you're broke. I'm not broke. I forgot my wallet one time. It doesn't mean I'm broke, guys. That was such an excuse not to be on this podcast. Dude, I had to beg him to be on this podcast.

He's like, I'm moving into 930, and I was just like, I can't come. I left my wallet. I was like, why? He goes, I left my wallet at work. I was like, this has nothing to do with your wallet. He goes, I can't pay for parking. I was like, dude, parking ends at 10. He's like, all right, you got my parking then I was like it's

going to be 30 cents. How are you? How far over 30 are you 37? Yeah, that's about right. That's when that's when little things like that are just like I'm not. I'm not your eyes were so why would you want to hear? Did you've never stayed up this late? Shit

his eyes are watering because you know he was just like he just was like pinching the insides of his eyes. Just like, I fucking hate these guys. Yeah, because you're late. National floss day. Do you guys floss? I do floss. I do not.

I do. I have to. You have to? I do floss. I made it, I tried to make it a habit. Now I go crazy if I don't floss. Right. I want to explore and maybe

you can since you're way over 30 but i want to start getting into water picks those are i use the og floss i know i know that's what i do but i want to get into water picking because i one i I think it sounds cool. I use Waterpik. Yeah, dude. Waterpik. Hey, girl. What's up? I love the Waterpik. Do you even Waterpik? Do you even Waterpik, bro? It's like lifting.

Right. Do you even Waterpik, bro? Dude, I only Waterpik Mondays, Wednesdays, Fridays because I need to get my gums a day off. How does it not hurt? On Tuesdays and Thursdays. Flossing? It hurts for like the first two years.

No, Waterpik. Dude, you spit up blood when you floss for like the first two years. No, water's kicking in. Dude, you spit up blood when you floss for like the first two years. Yeah, it's true. I have floss in my room. Dentists are bullshit, dude. You know, like when they're like, have you been flossing? And you didn't floss. And you're like, yeah. But they're like, okay. Does that happen to you?

When you go to the dentist, that's the time before, like right before you go to the dentist is the best you'll ever brush your teeth. Yeah. I mean, it's just supposed to be like in there for like five minutes, right? But most of us are just like, and we're fucking done. Let's get out of here. I brush my teeth for a long time.

I do too. All right, me too. I like how the Sonicare, I like how the Sonicare toothbrush feels on my teeth. Did you just slide? Yeah, I was like, yeah. Do you ever do that? Do you have an electric toothbrush? No. You don't? I don't think you have to get an electric toothbrush, I was like, yeah. Do you ever do that? Do you have an electric toothbrush? No.

You don't? I don't think you have to get an electric toothbrush. I'm all about manual. No, you have to get an electric toothbrush, dude. You just click on the Sonicare and then you just like sit it there and just... It tickles my nose. I know, that's the best part.

I don't like that. I'm like doing this the whole time. Chewing gum and tapping the top of my head. That's what I do with my nose and my teeth do you walk around okay do you brush your teeth in front of the mirror or do you walk around and brush your teeth a little bit of both like i'll start in front of the mirror and i'm like i can't do this anymore yeah i walk around the apartment who's that no one i gotta i gotta facetime it's cool oh um yeah i walk around forever i do it's like it's like when you put something in the microwave and there's like 30 seconds you do everything you can around the house that's what i do when i brush my teeth how often i'll like change trash bags

and shit with a toothbrush i'm not even brush your teeth then yeah basically i'm like i just put it in my mouth and do like 10 different things how often do you spit while brushing your teeth do you just let it pool up in there sometimes i mean just like one big one you're like trying to talk to somebody like oh no what like all down your they're just spit unpopular opinion unpopular opinion all right go do you do you put the toothpaste on and then put it underwater and then put it in? No, I'm water toothpaste. Dude, if you brush your teeth dry, bro, that's some psycho shit. That's like when you're camping.

You see it on TV shows and movies and shit all the time where they put the toothpaste on and then dip it underwater. That's what I do. That's not what you do. It's water, toothpaste, mouth. The bristles have to be wet it's like yes that's like sock shoe sock shoe like who does it fucking sock sock shoe shoe but when you're done brushing your teeth do you do this with your toothbrush no no you don't i i do you know gross your sink is and you're fucking no like the bristles are here and the body of your toothbrush

is like you're just like rinsing it off like you're just you don't brush your teeth with just your bristles in your mouth i had to start i had to start i don't do it all right people do i had to start washing freak kind of fucking psychopath i'm done i'm out of here i had to start washing the neck that's what got him yeah that's his trigger i called him fat six times he walked down on two just called him fat for an hour and then i said something about tapping my toothbrush on the sink and he fucking lost he just peeled off it was the last time you saw Ray? 2020. Weird. Fucking weirdest thing. Alright, what were you saying, Derek? I don't care.

The fuck, Derek? Stop being so sad. Why are you sad? That's it. That's it. We still have more. He's like trying to wrap up all the lights and shit. He's like sweeping under our feet. We still have more.

This is why he wanted the last one. He's like sweeping under our feet. Stop more. You hear the vacuum going off in the background? This is why he wanted the last one. Saturday, National French Toast Day. I fucking love French Toast. Is that the one, though? Is it pancakes, waffles, French toast? Where are we going there? In that order?

Unpopular opinion, crepes. Really? That's a good one. That is a good one, though. Unpopular opinion, I love crepes. Who hates crepes oh really that's a good one that is a good one i love crepes yeah who hates crepes i don't think anybody hates them it's just like they're not available that often right you know i'm not just like oh crepes yeah so if you had to choose one of the four to go with as your like go to him your hands dry as fuck dude these are what working hands look like good oh my god god he is like i could like yeah dude real there's like speed bumps on your hand yeah i could wave run on your hand all right sorry he's self-conscious about his hands keep my hands in my pocket

okay which one of the four? So he doesn't have to put his hand up. So which of the four do you go with? Like, what's your first one? My order? Are you asking me? Both of you. Derek, go. Ben, you go first.

I'm just kidding. I'd go pancake first then crepe wow that's so weird dude then waffle and then biscuits and gravy I'm going waffle french toast pancake crepe nice

waffle and french toast the problem is I feel so french toast is so sloppy and shit it is okay, it's sticky for one. It's a very sticky meal. So if you like to be sticky, then like Ray does, it's like a cheat day thing. Right.

French toast. You can't eat French toast. Here's the thing about crepes. I am talking. No, it's fine. Every time he has a point. What's the next one, Ben? What's the next one?

Derek, go, go, go. Go, go, go. This is the day we broke, Derek. Go, go, go. I never have to be here, man. I'm happy to be here. Go ahead, go ahead. What were you saying?

I don't even remember, man. Stop. The thing about crepes is you can eat two or three of them, and then you still feel okay to go out with things you still feel agile you still feel like yeah like you could run a 40 but but if you eat pancakes waffles or french toast then your waffles are like second to that though like you can do some shit after you eat waffles but you can kicks and you can walk you can't really you can walk up somewhere after a waffle. That's about it.

It's holding some syrup. It is. Those little dents. But also with the crepe, you get a little bit of fruit in there. What even is a crepe anyway? I don't even know what a crepe is. I honestly don't think I've ever had a crepe.

What? You ranked them ahead of everything else. You ranked them two. Dude, did you rank them one? Never had it. You ranked it two. Never had it. That's just how much he hates fucking French toast and fucking waffles.

Here's the thing. Here's the thing. Here's the thing. The idea. French food you've never had. The thing is, the idea of a crepe sounds really, really good. His unpopular opinion was that you liked crepes, but you've never fucking had a crepe. I'm just saying the idea of a crepe sounds good, all right?

You just put fucking strawberries on shit. It's good. You got some fruit in it, and you can move around after you've never had one in his life. Look, here's the thing, though. I want to order... You can roll them up and you can eat it like a fucking stick or something. Pop it and whip it and throw a crepe in your mouth. The best part about crepes is you pop the bag open

and then you whip it. So what the fuck? Pop the bag open. He's never had one so hard that he thinks it comes in a bag. He popped the bag open. He's never had one so hard that he thinks it comes in a bag. He popped a bag open. Dude. He's so embarrassed.

All right, that's shot 134. It's going to end like that? Yeah, that's a good walk-off. That's a good one. Crate bags, that's his title. Crate bags? Bag of craves? Shot 13 one. Yeah. Crate bags. That's his title. Crate bags. Bag of craves. Shot 134.

Seriously. Espresso Podcast, thanks for listening. Do social media handles. Just for Instagram. At Ray Hensley Comedy on everything. TikTok too. Mine's at... Oh, trying to get a little following, huh?

Yeah. I don't have a TikTok. TikTok too. You need to get a TikTok. I Oh, trying to get a little following, huh? Yeah. I don't have a TikTok. TikTok too. You need to get a TikTok. I don't need to get a TikTok. Mine's at LOL underscore Derek underscore James on Instagram. And I'm Benedict Polizzi on Twitter, Cameo, TikTok, Instagram. Follow, rate, review, subscribe.

And yeah, I'll talk to you guys next week. Word. I have fam.