Espresso - WAP breakdown

Episode Date: August 27, 2020

Helium August 20-22 | Meg The Stallion = Pissed Mom | j cole NBA song | every guys addiction | the most perfect man is a dog | i want my bed chained to the wall

Yeah. Okay, okay, okay. It's me playing the trumpet. It's my mood right before I even decide I'm going to spend $16 at Starbucks for one thing. no that's my that's my ass after i take one sip of coffee what kind is this oh that's the blonde rose venti iced Americano that you just ordered. Oh, thanks. Ben, right? Yep.

All right. You guys have a good day. My ass right when I walk out the door. My ass right when I eat a raisin. My ass right when the elevator door closes What's up shout 119 What's up? What's up? Shout 119! What's up, fam? When I say fam, I mean fam. Like family.

F-A-M-I-L-Y. I love you. Because we're fam here on the Espresso Podcast. If you listen to Espress, you're part of the fam. And I'm the patriarch. No, for real, i'm the patriarch no for real i'm a daddy now i'm low-key more of a mom but on this on this pod i'm uh i'm like the cool dad you know your friends are like your dad's awesome but you're like yeah actually uh it's all an act that's me but yeah if you have like any suggestions or anything feedback if if you got a little idea or something, a little segment, if you want to send some stuff in, hit me up.

DMs are open, always. As patriarch, that is my responsibility to put this together. As patriarch of the espresso fam, it is my duty to whip together a hot hour each and every week. And honestly, it is going to be on Apple Podcasts and Stitcher soon. I promise! But I have to talk to 1,300 people that are in control of that. And it's such a pain in the ass.

I want to rip my eyes out. But it's happening. Just please be patient. I know it sucks and it makes me like every time I think of it I do one of those you know when you just like you grunt when you're just like doing some mindless shit like the other day I was cutting up salad just like thinking about stuff and I thought about how annoying it is to listen to stuff on YouTube, and I was like... You know when you think of something that you hate so much, your eye starts twitching? That's kind of how it is,

but I can't thank you guys enough for rocking with it on YouTube. I know it's not the easiest thing, but just trust me. We're going to be on Apple Podcasts And Stitcher soon That's a patriarch promise So yeah Last week was good Shot 118 Ray came on

Ray came through It was a fun episode Got a lot of good reviews Some people said it was the best one But don't tell Ray Because he already thinks He's way too funny Fatty

But yeah Me and Ray have a show In Greenwood September 25th and 26th But before that At the end of this month August 20th, 21st and 22nd I'll be at Helium with Trevor Wallace That's gonna be dope

If you haven't been to Helium You should You should those days Or else But yeah I'll be posting more stuff about it If you haven't been to Helium, you should. And you should those days. Or else. But yeah, I'll be posting more stuff about it. You can go to Helium.com and go to August 20th, 21st, and 22nd. It's going to be a banger, honestly.

It is. And tickets will probably sell out. I'm just saying. So make sure you get your tickets, and I'll see you there. You better fucking be there. I mean, if you have time and everything like that. So, yeah. Remember to follow on Instagram, Twitter, TikTok, and Cameo at Benedict Polizzi.

Remember to grab a Cameo. Give a little shout out to somebody for their birthday or, you know, just for anything. Actually, those are the best when they're just like random and they're like, hey, can you be Shelby and tell my friend to fuck off? Can you be Shelby and tell my friend she's a bitch? Those are my favorite. Or I can obviously, anytime you want, it can be Johnson here or it can be Coach Racco or just literally anybody or just me you know i can just be like what's up i love you yeah but it's all been good it's been good started working again i just look like a pirate at work. Have like a black eye and a beard. And like a bandana on with a hat.

Everybody's like, shouldn't she be cooking the food? I only know how to make one thing, Captain. And that's love. I hate when people say making love. Can you imagine? Alright honey You whip up supper Then we'll make love God you have to live in the country

To say making love I always thought that just meant like Kissing and stuff Make love Make it You feel like making something? Alright Speaking of sex though Make love. Make it. You feel like making something? All right. Speaking of sex, though, let's talk about this WAP video.

Let's break it down. Megan Thee Stallion and Cardi B came out with WAP. And I'm going to talk about it, and we're going to play it, and you're not going to be able to see it, but it's okay, because I know you already watched it because everyone in the whole world watched it even your moms and dads were like what is this what is this a what everybody saw it and that gold snake on the door that was moving and it opened its mouth real big that was a vagina In case you didn't see it. I know you saw it though. And I know you thought that. Maybe just me. Alright.

Whoops. But WAP, yeah. Fetty WAP's gotta be like, good thing that's over. What is he thinking? He's like, damn, I really gotta change my name now? Fetty Wet Ass Pussy. Yeah, baby.

1738. Fetty what's your name mean? It means I got a wet ass pussy baby. All right so let's okay I can't believe so let's Okay I can't believe this Let's break down this WAP video And I know I'm gonna get hit for copyright like 16,000 times But uh I mean how else are we supposed to do anything And

We don't care We don't care about copyrights Cause we do it for us baby We do it for the fam Baby Pussy rights because we do it for us baby we do it for the fam baby haha pussy okay here we go wop music video so they're walking in they're going in this house and boobs are just spilling god God, what? Like, can you imagine? This is one of those videos.

I can't get that out of my head. There's some oars in this house. There's some oars in this house. This has been in my head. This has been in my head since Thursday by the way. Right here. You guys are kind of richy by Girl Scout because there's some moas in this house. There's some whores in this house. There's some Oreos in this house. Whores in this house. There's some whores in this house. There's some whores in this house. There's some whores in this house. I said, certified freak.

Seven days a week. Wet and gushy. Make that pull out game. We. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I don't get why they're running down the hallway like that they walk around that house like it's uh like you know when you're when you're in like uh when you can't wear shoes in the house and your dad's like, hey!

That's how they're walking on this tile floor with shoes on. Shoes off if you're inside! Slap your nose like a credit card. Slap your nose like a credit card? Pop on top. I wanna ride. I do a giggle. I'm kinda wild. Look at my mouth. Look at my thighs. It's wet as wet. Come take a dive. Sign me up. Okay, this one room that they're in with all these pipes and everything with the

moving pipes with stuff on them, that's the Microsoft screensaver. Go play. I want the skies. I want you to park that big Mack truck. Childhood ruined? I don't know. Childhood activated to park that big Mack. Childhood ruined? I don't know. Childhood activated.

Little garage. That right there though. What is this? Right in this little garage. Right in this little garage. I can't, that noise can't be in a sexy video. They're all shaking their asses and shit. All of a sudden.

Hey mom, there's a semi truck driver. Can we do it? No, you can't do it. Come on, please. Okay. I'm going to go get my car. I'm going to go get my car. I'm going to go get my car.

I'm going to go get my car. I'm going to go get my car. I'm going to go get my car. I'm going to go get my car. I'm of a sudden, hey mom, there's a semi-truck driver. Can we do it? No, you can't do it. Come on, please. Okay, just do it. See if he sees you. Okay. And you do that little hand motion out the passenger side window when you're in traffic. I'm doing it. Like, imagine if that was the sound, you know? During sex. Oh God, I've been waiting so long for this moment. I know. Just me and you.

Gosh, I've been waiting so long. Oh God, just, can you just... Okay, you sure? Yeah. Do it. just? Okay. You sure? Yeah. Do it. Okay. What's wrong with him today? Nothing.

I like Megan Thee Stallion, but every time she raps, I swear. I feel like I'm getting yelled at by my friend's mom. When you in this restaurant, you act like a bitch. It's a mom at a restaurant whose kids won't behave. Megan Thee Stallion, I like her. What's her style? How would you describe her style? She's got a little bit of hip-hop, your mom when she's pissed off at Golden Corral. You act right in here. You ain't, no, you ain't watching nothing when we get home. You going right to bed.

Quit crying and we'll leave right now. made his money before he came. Quit crying and we'll leave right now. Show boots, hang your coat, fuck this wet and gushy. You lost your coat and your boots, now you're not going to Kings Island with your cousins. Bought a phone just for pictures of this wet and gushy. Now Kylie walks down this hallway.

This is every fifth grade history teacher when they walk down the hallway to check on the mailbox. Why are, why, how come history teachers, or how come every teacher in the hall, how come their, like, their heels have to be on surround sound? Is there a Clydesdale in the hall or is that just Mrs. Robinson? Look, I need a hard hit. I need a deep. I need a Henny drink. I need.

All right. I don't know what I'm a freak. There's some, there's some, there's some, some mores in this house. There's some chocolate. There's some graham cracker marshmallows in this house. So, so. All right. So that's the WAP breakdown

not that I watched it or anything wow there's some there's some there's some s'mores in this house there's not tagalongs in this house there's nothing mints in this house there's not dipsy doodahs in this house but there's s'mores

in this house what else yo what else is What else, yo? What else is popping? J. Cole is going to be in the NBA? No, he's not. God, I hate that. But I don't think he is, you know? I mean, to be in the NBA, you know how good?

I'm sure he's good, but fuck. Some team will give him a contract for like 10 days if he's ill he's ill and I'm wrong but like you know every time he gets the ball dude and dude inbounds it to him right when he gets the ball all right let's set this up let's set this offense. Let's set this offense up. Damn, I can't remember the play. Got me up all night. Trying to remember all these plays. It got me up all night.

Coach won't get off my ass these days. It got me up all night. Guys are trying to trap me at half court. It got me up all night. I'm to trap me at half court They got me up all night I'm just trying to run a pick and roll They got me up all night My girlfriend's sitting at On the baseline

Got me up all night Now she's talking to Kevin Hart They got me up all night Shot a three from the corner It hit off the side of the backboard And now I'm a loser That song goes hard. I wish the best for him, honestly, and I want to see him do it. And I like his shoes. But I don't know if he

can't unless he's unless he's like super wet there's some holes in the unless he's got some wop from the three-point line i don't know every time he shoots there's some holes in this house i saw some videos of him he looks like he looks like good I saw some videos of him and he looks like good. So it came out that they're not going to have college football. Duh. I don't know why it's such a shock. The only reason they can play basketball is because there's not that many people

in the bubble. And they get tested every 15 seconds. Dude, there's more people on a college football team than there are in the whole entire bubble. There's like 13 people on each NBA team. There's like 57,000

in one college football program. 52 players. 96 coaches. Hot, hot, hot, hot. 16 managers. Hot, hot, hot, hot. Basketball is like an easy sport. It takes like 20 people a team.

Three coaches. Ten players. Seven managers. That's it. Lakers. Football's like, 96 players, 36 coaches, 102 donors. It's like god damn it No forget it It's not gonna happen

I don't know It'd be I don't know if it's safe But there's no way There's no way What are guys gonna do If they can't watch college football What have guys been doing this whole time

I guess all guys have been doing is just Golfing That's really it That's the only thing you can do is golf And go to like a pumpkin patch Saturday What do you wanna do hunty I say we pick pumpkins

What are guys gonna do On Saturdays What do you want to do, hunty? I say we pick pumpkins. What are guys going to do on Saturdays? Sorry, fellas. No college football? Means you're just mean to hunty. Hi, hunty. Hunty? Want to pick pumpkins, hunty? You're the hunted or the hunted, hante?

Wanna pick a good pumpkin, hante? Wanna hunt down a pumpkin, hante? Wanna carve a pumpkin we hunted, hante? In my hante elantra? No, I have no idea what guys are gonna do. They're gonna be so annoying, though. We got to find something. We got to bet.

Every guy, right when he wakes up. I got to bet on something. Right when the alarm clock goes off What's the over? Guys just have to bet on shit What's the under over there? Plus 7 minus 7 Y equals MX plus B

What's the full find the slope of X? Cults, cults, cults Every Sunday Vax. Nah. Cults, cults, cults. Every Sunday. I can't believe guys do all that, honestly. Guys are like, I just want to sit

down and watch the game. They're like, dude, taking care of like 16 different fantasy teams, 23 guys each team, like, calculating under-overs and, like, forecasting bets on games, like like six weeks later. Like dude. You're a scientist.

That's crazy. I can't pay attention to anything for that long. I don't know what they're going to do. Guys will find another addiction though. That's all Saturday is. Guys addiction. I want to play cards. I want to play poker.

I got a bet on something. Guys addiction. I want to eat wings. I want wanna drink beer I wanna play poker Guys addiction Fishing I wanna go fish

I wanna play poker I wanna go to Hooter That's what my dad would call it Guys addiction I wanna go to Hooter. That's what my dad would call it. Guy's addiction. I wanna play 18. I'm gonna touch my ween. Guy's addiction. That's pretty much it.

That's Saturday. Guy's addiction. What else, yo? What else is going down? I'm taking a little trip this week. I mean, yeah, I'm going on a little midweek vacay. Nah, not a vacay. It's a business trip.

Nah, but Joey went off to New's a business trip. Nah, but Joey went off to New York. Barstool flew him out there. And he was like, yo, you wanna got a place come down for a few days? And I was like,

ding. You are now free to move about the country So I'll be there I'm landing in New York on Tuesday at 12 So the homies in New York Hit me Let's kick it Got some time

Probably do a couple vids, probably meet some people, but... Let's figure something out. Even though everything's closed, let's figure something out. Even though there's nothing even going on in New York, text me. I'll go there and we can text. But pretty much that's what happens anyway. Did you guys see that video of There's a video of those Those two like younger dudes

That Listened to the Phil Collins song And they were like super into it That made me happy All dads after they see that I hope no dads see that I told ya That song is something

One of those kids was like I never heard a beat drop at three minutes in Damn I wish they'd do the reverse of that And have two dads listening to WAP No Oh my gosh.

Are you serious? That's what they would say the whole time, but in their heads, they'd be like, I can't wait to remember this for later. Nessum, nessum, nessum. What are they saying? Oh, gosh. Oh, wow. Oh, okay. Nessum in this house?

Oh, wet ass There's some in this house. Whoa. Wet ass what? Mussie? Hmm. That video a little too much for me. But I'll tell you what, I am craving some Samoas. In this house. Did you guys see the video?

Okay, what about that dog carrying the 30 pound weight in its mouth? Did anybody know that dogs could do that? I would think, because dogs can carry like a 5-pound branch in their mouth. I thought that was like the max. 30 pounds? That's almost a plate, like a weightlifting plate. 30 pounds in his mouth like it was nothing. I'm scared of dogs.

That was a big dog. I mean, it wasn't like the biggest dog I've ever seen either. That was the scariest part. And he just went over there. 30 pounds in his mouth. Steel. Ruh! Dogs freak me out more and more every day.

I love dogs, but every single day I'm like, damn, man, there are so much like humans it's like almost scary now did you see that dog last week that like when it was watching a soccer game dog was what first of all a dog was watching a soccer game and then like he was watching the ball go down

the field like to the different dudes. And it scored and the dog jumped off the couch. It was so happy. The dog jumped in the air straight up. You know when somebody does something good and your arms go straight up? Yes! That's what the dog did.

It jumped off the couch, put his arms straight up, and fell on the ground. Go! The dog. Good shot, Rorono. Rorono? Rorono, Rorono, what's the rule? Dude, dogs can yawn. Dogs can cry.

You see that video of that dog crying his ass off on its owner's grave? Oh, my God, that's so sad. I'm almost 30 years old. I can't say I love you. one dog sings it on YouTube okay dogs go ahead there's girls and dogs could like procreate guys would be extinct guys and dogs dogs, exact same thing. Only dogs can't talk. Perfect. It's the perfect man.

It's the perfect man. It's the most perfect man in the world. They reveal it. Oh my God. He's always happy. He protects. He trusts. I don't know what that was.

And he's cute. Aww. He's the most perfect man in the world And he's always happy There's a picture of his tail And just like a man He eats absolutely everything That goes his way

And he doesn't clean anything up But after three years in a relationship He won't just leave out of nowhere he'll actually stay with you forever he's the perfect man the most perfect man the most perfect the most perfect man in the world his name ace yeah that's high. Okay, Ashley, chill out. You haven't been on the show in like four weeks, but just chill out on the dog shit.

You can dress him how you want. You can put him in a turtleneck. He won't complain. You want to get coffee with him? He'll be the happiest mother in the world. You want to go on a walk with your man? He loves walks so much You can't even say it A romantic walk?

Trust me He'd love to Don't feel like driving alone? He's always down to ride in the car with you Actually He's always down to ride in the car with you. Actually, he wants to go for a ride so bad, on the way out to the car, he might piss himself. He's the most perfect man in the world. The FBI raided Jake Paul's house.

On the next edition of No Shit. Dude, Jake Paul shouldn't have a... First of all, Jesus Christ, Jake Paul shouldn't have a house. Nobody should have a house until they have until they get married and nobody should get married until they're 34 jake paul 18 blonde hair tattoos viral on the internet has a mortgage what i don't even know what mortgage means what what all right let's go viral bye I don't even know what mortgage means. What? What? All right, let's go viral.

Bye, bye, bye. Hashtag in the old age handbook. In the old age handbook. I think in the old age handbook. Bug. God damn it. In the old age handbook. You have to.

You just start liking onions. Like once you hit a certain age. You just. Yeah I like them. For me it was like three weeks ago And when I like something I like turn into Like the I'm such an extreme

It's either like I love it so much Or I'm like I cannot even Look at it I think when you hit like When you hit When you hit 40 Right when you have kids I think that's like when the handbook like opens chapter one in the first chapter of the of the old age handbook

coasters old people in wood why do old people protect wood like it's a fossil fuel? Every time I put a cup down anywhere, my dad, my mom, that's why moms get headaches all the time. Like randomly when they're like, just, just give me a second. That's cause like someone in the area put a cup down on bare wood without a coaster oh god oh sorry oh just give me a second i swear my mom can my mom lives in florida when i put down a cup she's like she texts me she's like what's up i'm like nothing just sitting here i look down at my drink and there's a coaster and i'm like nothing Just sitting here I look down at my drink And there's a coaster And I'm like wait

Hashtag things I just don't understand I think everybody has like One little thing that they can't do You know Like everybody has like One thing that they're like I can't Sorry bye

Nope Can't do it Like everybody has like one thing that they're like, I can't. Sorry. Bye. Nope. Can't do it. Like everybody has one. And for me, it's counting. No, I don't know. I've, I honestly haven't known the date. I won't know the date ever again. I don't think, but I do remember when I was a kid, like we had to write the date on our

paper every single day. And I actually knew the date for like a year i knew the date and then something happened and i was like i don't know the date anymore i never will unless it's christmas or my birthday i don't know the date he's selfish but if you do another day every single day uh have sex once have sex once. Hashtag why I can't sleep.

I think if you can't sleep, you must be like taking like 12 naps a day. I don't know. I don't get that. Like how are you guys not dead tired at night? I can't even move. Past 10, 15, I'm like i can't even get up to brush my teeth it's unreal i'm like i'm a statue working on anything in my bed is like the worst move of all time like my bed is such a trap dude no way i always always try to get on my laptop and do something on my bed, but I can just... Just the sleep angels are just like...

Come lay down, rest your head. You're in bed. Every time I look in my room Come lay down, rest your head On this big soft bed Your bed's like singing that though You know, like the comforter and the box spring are like separating Come lay down Yeah, you know what I'm talking about In the box spring or like separating. Come lay down.

Yeah, you know what I'm talking about. I said that so confidently like you've always thought about it. Yeah, you know what I'm talking about. I wish I had one of those beds that you could chain up to the wall. Those are badass. You know, one of those beds that are are in they're always in like castles one of those beds always in castles but they're like chained up and you gotta like those are sick that actually makes a lot of sense why aren't those more of a thing it'd give you so much room i guess it'd be kind of awkward when you're like trying to like hook up with the girl so uh yeah this is my room she's like cool and you're

like well uh yeah you wanna i don't know i was just thinking me and you could kind of you know i don't know sit somewhere or something she's like yeah that'd be fine that'd be good and you guys are like in that moment where it's like you know you're like locking eyes all the time and stuff like i don't know we we might as well sit somewhere i don't know where we oh i mean yeah i guess this this might work. That was so sexy. You're so smooth. I want one of those beds. I want a castle bed. Alright, let's do days.

Days of the week. Wednesday. Wednesday. National Raspberry Bombay Day. I saw this tweet about how we started calling raspberry blue raspberry. Is that the craziest marketing scheme of all time? What a stone cold lie. Blue raspberry? what a lie what a stone cold lie blue raspberry what a what a hoax raspberry's good but it's like strawberries like you know how like in a in a family where like everybody's famous there's always like that one brother you don't hear about and you're like oh

that's raspberry who what what family is that with the weird brother and you're like how did that he just doesn't want to what god i can't think of it right now is it like the osbournes or something didn't the osbournes have like a reality show and like one of their family members just like no i'm not doing that imagine being being that like, that's crazy. Like just being so like, I'm good. That's the ultimate I'm good. A reality show on MTV. I'm cool on that.

That's raspberry. Blue raspberry though? I'd be saying like, I'd be saying like Yellow Kiwi Alright that was a really bad example If anything that's blue raspberry I'm like yes You want blue raspberry coffee? Yes

Any blue raspberry candy Off the chain No questions asked Put it in my hand Blue raspberry airhead Blue raspberry jolly rancher Lock National middle child day

What do they say about the middle child? It's a J. Cole song, of course. Why are these always so right? The middle child tends to be the family peacekeeper. Agreeableness. Faithful in their relationships. Good at relating to older and younger people. It's so true.

There's never been a middle child that's been like super off the rails. They're always like, yeah. They're so understood. You're like, yep. Yep. They're right. Those are always super right. What's the personality of an oldest child?

This is going to be so dead on. Oldest child. Typical responsible, And conscientious. Natural leaders. That is so crazy. Isn't it? Why is everything like that? What's youngest? I'm youngest. Every time I say I'm the youngest, they're like, oh, yeah, definitely. Highly social.

Creative. Good at problem solving And What's his last one? Drop dead fucking sexy Oh god Oh no way That's bullshit

That's bullshit No way Cause I'm not good at problem solving No but seriously I'm not really that good at problem solving I'm always like mom Anytime there's a problem I'm like I have no clue

Adept at getting Others to do things for them Whoops at getting others to do things for them. Whoops. I wonder why. Is it because when you're raising your first kid, you're super with the rules, and you're like, you have to do this,

you have to do that, you have to do this. And the middle child, you're like like kind of you let them figure it out because you're like i don't it doesn't need to be all that like we were way too strict the first time around and the middle child that it's just like go ahead yeah you got it so they're they like understand things more and the last kid you have you're just like fuck it oh shit we don't know what to do yeah i mean you two can teach him now since you guys know all the rules like you're talking to the oldest in middle not that that's exactly what happened in my family

national prosecco day sounds sexy National Prosecco Day Sounds sexy Italian white wine I just have nothing Me and white wine Nothing in common Can't do it I don't know What do you eat it with?

I just imagine eating that with angel hair And like chicken I hate both Honestly Angel hair? Ugh eating that with angel hair and like chicken. I hate both, honestly. Angel hair? Ugh! Any other pasta but angel hair, please. What would you like at an Italian restaurant?

Just not even the name. Hair. Ah. When you grow up with like women in your family, you just, it's just, there's hair everywhere. I remember that being like a really, that's like a traumatizing thing. Hair all over the walls of the shower. I was like, how do you not see that? And when girls are in cars and they like pick at their hair and then just put it on the ground of your car.

I'm like, oh my God. Are you serious? In here? But at the window. I never understood that. What do guys do that's like that in the car? Guys just like make noises. I can't even ride in the car with my dad anymore because he's like uh

he sounds like a he sounds like a fish that's dying seriously i'm like what is in your mouth are you like he sounds like he's constantly has a jolly rancher in his mouth that he's like flipping from side to side i'm like i can't be in the car i guess an annoying thing i do in the car is I put my feet all over the dash. I have to have my legs up in every situation. It's the most annoying thing of all time, but I have to do it. I'll find somewhere to put my feet. My feet have to be chest level when I'm sitting down.

I don't know what it is. But they gotta be up. Like at restaurants, I'm like, boop, every time. Hair. What's up? Like, girls are so, like, organized. Like, girls' handwriting's perfect. They're so all the way. Their rooms are always, like, nice and organized.

But then there's that, like, hair nest in the corner of the shower for no reason what is that ah i remember the first time i saw that i was like i think okay i have the i have the hair thing because i always had to clean out the drain like once every three months in our house Like the shower would like Wouldn't drain I'd be like oh shit

Like you'd literally You know you'd be taking a shower And like the water level would be like Over your ankle And you'd be like What the fuck is going on That's when it was like Here we go

I know what I'm doing today You gotta take the You gotta unscrew the drain on the shower And like That's when it was like, here we go. I know what I'm doing today. You got to take that. You got to unscrew the drain on the shower and like, ah, grab all the hair in there. I'm saying all this shit and I just got new hair on my head. I'm like, I hate hair. Give me all you got. Saturday. National relaxation day.

Ultimate form of relaxation I guess it's when you're in the shower right Ultimate form of relaxation Yeah I think that's mine In the shower Isn't it weird you get like some random ass Like ideas and stuff in the shower? Like you'll just think of shit and be like, huh, why is that? That's one of the weirdest things of all time.

You always like think of something in the shower and you're like, oh yeah. I'm not going to do that today. And if you didn't take a shower, you never would have thought of it. You're like, wow. Glad I'm cleaning my ass right now or else I never would have thought i needed to change that light bulb in the kitchen that's so stupid right when water hits my back i'm like oh that's right i just need to be in a shower for the entire day so i can just finally like get things done oh he's working from home your laptop's soaked you have goggles on Oh he's working from home Laptop soaked

You have goggles on On a computer that doesn't even It's off Like a school desk in there School desks are the most like Like this is what you want me to learn on This like weird desk A desk connected to a chair.

That's such a bitch ass thing. You can't even give me a real desk. Remember those desks we had growing up? Those were the shit. Remember those one desks you could pop the top open? Damn. Kind of revealing. I was like, I don't want you to see how I set up my desk

Your desk was like your personal spot Remember that little place like for pencils You know put your little shit down there Put like a little watch or something in the corner Or something that made you like happy you know Like in the corner you put like a Like a little bear I didn't do that But Like in the corner you put like a like a Like a little bear I

didn't do that but People have the weirdest shit in their desks I remember I went by one kid or I sat in one kids desk cuz we were like we had to like move around the room And he had like one of those handheld blackjack games in there That's like on your like grandma's coffee table. He had it in there I was like, well, you don't even know how to fucking do multiplication tables. How are you playing blackjack?

Okay. I'm good if you're good. Shout 119. Remember to follow on Twitter Instagram, Cameo, TikTok All that at Benedict Polizzi And I'll keep you guys updated I'll be in New York

These next three days I have no idea what to expect honestly I'm just kind of going Nah but it'll be cool I'll let y'all know I always say stuff I always get so weird at the end of this podcast

I like change my whole like like accent let y'all know alright y'all nah but seriously I'll talk to you guys next week

I fam