Espresso - what's the biggest SCAM?

Episode Date: January 23, 2025

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You know, I don't wear the cool fancy shit every day, dude. It's just like it's perfect. I'm just telling you. It's perfect We got cringe hoodies. We got whore hats feeling glonky shirts. We got sorry. I'm nervous tees All I've been in a church calm until the homies is join the patreon five dollars a month get every other espresso pot in a live Stream every Sunday What a deal who's not buying this? Let's get to the question, babe Espresso cook cook cook cook question of the week been wanting to do this one for a long time I don't know why I haven't but god damn. It's all I think about

What's the biggest scam in the world? about what's the biggest scam in the world? Everything. What's your scam? The scam that affects you every day. For me, dude, this is insane. But I went to the doctor like last week. He goes to the doctor. Okay. Liar. Scumbag. I actually went to the doctor and I just told, I told him I wasn't doing anything

bad. And he was like, that's unbelievable. I felt so like I couldn't, I could not wait to just go to the doctor and tell him that I'm like, I'm doing everything good. Then he saw my urine and was like, you need to drink more water. And I was like, okay, sir. But, um, bro, he told me I have high cholesterol Huh What do I eat fucking deviled eggs every 15 times a day, how do I have high cholesterol? That's the scam bro

I'm a scam for that. I have high cholesterol What am I? Insane And also king-sized candy bars. Yo, that's not a king-sized candy bar. That's just two regular sized candy bars in one candy bar Bags of chips you want to keep going? So many scams liquid IV don't get me started. Such a scam. It's literally a lemonade packet in your water.

It makes you more hydrated. No it doesn't. You just like sugar. You just like lemon shakeups. So. All right, let's hear yours. What's a scam? I Think Brita filters are a scam

You're supposed to change them out every two months, but who is out there doing that? Thank you, and there's probably just disgusting stuff getting collected in there See might as well not use one at all. You know what I'm saying? God, I think water is a scam bro. they stay got us in the palm of their hands. Britt dude imagine changing out the filter on your Brita filter I didn't even know you had to do that till like a week ago I don't give a shit I think water dude just how about this tap water tap water is fine am I insane dude if I die from drinking tap water that's just what it is I'm sorry I can't do everything put like so correct you can't just drink you know how many

things are going in your system like all the like I dude can I just I can't even drink anything without somebody in my ear telling me there's like mildew like bro I just don't I mean kill me then how'd he die he was thirsty my whole life is just going up to a faucet and Am I the only one that was doing that? That was like how me and my family was raised. I don't know I was just like I'd rather not use a cup I'm thirsty I do it every I think I've done it every day I've ever lived. Go up to the sink head

down Oh god. Turn it off. Like, oh my god. Brita filter is probably a scam, yeah. Use one every day. Man, how annoying is it filling that thing up. And now I'm gonna think of your voice every time I do it. Every time I fill up

my Brita filter. It's a scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam scam Scams scams scams scams scams scams scams scams scams scams scams scams scams scams I'm gonna put it in the refrigerator and I'm gonna do it every day for the rest of my life Same Brita filter though not gonna not gonna switch it out cuz where do you even buy those? They're like in the like appliance part of like every store ash We didn't ask okay, I'm just telling you it's like easier than you think All right Ash always ruin in the mom. That's my producer Ashley if you're new to this podcast you think I'm insane, but We all are so let's keep going. What's the scam?

So I might get a lot of hate for this, but I'm gonna say it anyway Thank you huge scam are influencers. I think the ones that try to sell you on skincare products, hair products, Oh yeah, all of them. certain types of food, protein, anything that I feel like you have to use for a long time to actually see results.

I just, I'm not buying what you are trying to sell. Thank you. I think that- Who is? They're kids a lot of times to try to seem relatable. And to me, that is really annoying. I think that you have to use so many different products and you say that you used all these products, but the one that you're selling is the holy grail of products.

I just don't believe it because I think you have to use it for a long period of time to actually be able to validate that. Nothing does anything. I think the people that do the weight loss journeys, I think things like that are legit, especially if you can like see their progress as far as like, you know that they've actually worked out. You know that they actually ate, eaten well, whatever.

But like the ones that are trying to tell you that they've done all that, but really it's just semiglutide, will go the ozempic, whatever. No chance. I'm just not buying it. And it's really annoying to me. I think the get rich fast type scammers are annoying.

The ones that are constantly going on vacation. DMs. Saying how they can you know just work this job or you know get all of their money by again scamming, influencing. I just think that they're actually just going into debt and using a credit card But that's just my two cents on it Any who's it I think scammers That portray themselves to be influencers are a joke

God 100% accuracy everything she said made sense. I Don't know one person selling anything on the internet. That's not a scam. I sold like shirts on the internet like through a company for a while and like they were good shirts, but I mean Wash them four times Not that good anymore. I don't know People that the people that lose weight quick. I'm like know. People that, I don't know, the people that lose weight quick. I'm like, God, just what, what did you do? Like what illegal ass

thing did you do? Because I know you're not doing it the old-fashioned way. If you lose 75 pounds out of nowhere, I'm like, give me all the details because I know it's bad. Every single influencer taking trip who's believing any that it's all my DMs all my DMs what are your DMs like it's all people selling me fake shit. That's it. The whole internet's a scam like Shein oh my gosh you ever buy something from there? I'm starting to have no belief in anything. Dude, people are scant me. People, catfishing.

God, she said something. She said something early. Oh, face wash. I think it's amazing how face wash is. The face products. If you're an influencer girl and you're selling face products, how come you have 75, how about just one thing one bottle of whatever it is face wash and it take like how come there's always

72 bottles of something you have to put on your face before bed. I've never done it in my life. I Think my skin looks alright It just goes to show you like girls put on like pounds of stuff before they go to bed on so they can maintain their face dudes wash their face with a bar of dial soap the same one That's been in their shower with a hair on it for the past Ten weeks and their skin looks great. I don't know I'm just like it just doesn't make sense sense. Like it seems like the biggest waste of time.

God, I would lose it if I had to do that every night before bed. I barely can get by brushing my teeth and flossing. You're going to ask me to put a five step program on my face? That doesn't work. Even proactive solution, remember that? Is that a scam? I feel like only one of those bottles was really worth a shit.

The other ones I'm like, come on. Hey, Benny. Podcast girlfriend. Something that's a scam that I didn't realize until this weekend, I was traveling solo, I traveled to Raleigh, North Carolina to go see a friend. Raleigh! And I paid extra to have priority boarding.

Uh oh. For my first flight to Charlotte. And I was like, great, I can get on the plane early. And I get really anxious over having overhead space, because I feel like people don't utilize that properly. I don't. But it's another issue. I don't. But that's another issue.

I don't. So I paid $20 to have priority boarding and then my next flight to Raleigh, I still had the priority boarding but I just went with the first group and no one said anything. I know. I was group four and I just went with the first group.

Nobody asks. They don't care. They really don't care. No one cares. Like why are we doing groups? I understand like doing the military personnel, like families, elderly, sure. But like having groups one through nine is a complete scam.

They don't even care. So on my trip back to Pennsylvania, I just boarded whenever I wanted. Didn't pay the extra when I checked in just got on the plane when I felt like it and no one said anything. Kind of everything. So boarding groups for planes and also why don't we board back to front and then like the way we deep water deep plane

Cringe moment. I just said deep or I don't even know if that's a word. But yeah, so Next time you're traveling. Don't even worry about the groups. Just get on the plane whenever you want. I think they know Love you more mean it I Think that I think play the plane industry knows what it's doing and it's getting a little old. Like somebody does need to like there just needs to be an airline that gets it right. Board? This happened to me one time I think it was Spirit. They opened the door in the back and they opened the door in the front and everybody just you know they like brought up this wheeled up the stairs you know they like brought stairs to the to the door everybody just got off the plane at the same time I

Was like Why can't we just always do this it's not that difficult Not that complicated the boarding system is so flawed I Don't know what to do about that so we're trusting each other to make sure we're in this. I hate doing the thing where I'm like, cause I always walk up so late and I look, I look like I'm trying to like pull one over on somebody. You know, if I'm actually in group two for once,

I'm like, nobody thinks I'm in group two. Like I feel so guilty getting on there. I'm like showing, I like have my my like my like boarding pass on my phone like Just in case yeah, I'm right here. I'm right here And they still don't believe me. They're like you probably just took a screenshot and have it on your phone. I don't know why I Always just wait till everybody gets on the plane then I get on the plane Always going I always go in the back of the plane. I don't know

Who cares? I've never if I like if I'm not in first class, which I've never been in first class Aren't isn't everything like equally bad equally the same. I Bored the plane. I'm like who cares? If there's two seats like like that wherever the most room is dude. I've sat in the back of a plane like I Feel like 75% I go right to the if there's all open seats. I go right to the back. I'm like who what's the difference? I? Don't know Always in the back the back of the plane is like

Like it's a little more ratchet though back of the plane back of the bus same thing Back of the plane they're always just Flight attendants doing whatever they want. It's more chill vibe in the back. I'm usually dead asleep anyway, but it's like Flight attendants just do it dude they, they... Flight attendants actually don't... Like, I don't think that they realize what time it is... Like, what the circumstance is... They're just always... They're just servers! They're servers on a plane. It's the same thing.

I swear to God, I was in the back of a plane. Flight attendants were playing fuck, marry, kill. Like during the, during the demonstrations of the life vest. I'm like, all right. Like, and you're gonna, you're gonna say something to me when my bag is like one inch hanging out of the seat. Your bag, year bag, year bag. I'm like. People sneak in, hey, people that bring food on the plane, like a lot of food, we gotta do something about that.

We got it, somebody will sneak a whole ass strawberry shortcake on a plane. I'm like, dude, for what? And eat it? I don't know, I board just, I'll board dead last. But I always kinda somehow manage to get my own row. I do, I don't know why. I will maneuver my way around that plane

to at least get an open seat next to me Cuz I purposely fly like at 5 a.m Cuz I'm like nobody's on these plane. Nobody's flying at 5 a.m. Get there. Everybody's there. I'm like everybody has the same idea as me But there's always usually one seat and I'm like, can I move up there and they're like, yeah, just move up here best moment of my life when they close the door and there's open seats, I'm like. I'm just gonna eat. Bored whenever you want. I'm too much of a softie to pretend I'm in group one though.

And I never am. Who are the people that are that are checking into their flight like Like right when they get that like I just I don't know. I think it's the last thing on my mind I'm like just put me on the plane and take me where I need to go like all the in-between shit Biggest scam out there that there's hot and horny moms within 10 miles of where you live. Oh man, they ain't there OG scam right there Everything on the internet on the that's not on the main page, but you ever try you ever try to download a YouTube video Tell you know

That's how you know. That's how you know. Pop-ups? Pop-ups might be the OG. Remember pop-ups, dude? That was like the biggest problem I ever had in my life. So many pop-ups! Anything. Any advertisement on the side of your computer did I'm starting to get like

I'm starting to get scammed like I'm starting to get like Real like it looks like a real numbers texting me and calling me like from my hometown and I'm like god. They're so good Bro, oh my god cringe one of the eight. This is the truest scam truce Do I save it? Truest scam of all time. I got one of those like I got one of those DMS. It was like on tik-tok. It was um This is so cringy, bro. I'm such an idiot. I'm 55 years old. I've never been on the internet They go. Hey, we've seen your tick-tock numbers going off you I think it's time you get verified and I was like, okay like first guy ever on earth

Okay They go, okay send a picture of your face the piece of paper The your username and password on the paper and send it to it back to our email and I literally did that to an unknown email address My face like this piece of paper my username and actual password all spelled out. I Wish I still had that picture bro dumbest thing I've ever done in my life and hey even dumber never changed my password back Somebody just has all my shit and they never did anything, which is even weirder. Just a picture of me like this. I can't wait to get verified.

Dude, kill me. Somebody probably has all my information and they're just, I know, I guarantee somebody's withdrawing $15 a month from my account for the past 17 years. And I have no idea. Swear. Hey, Benny. Long time listener, first time caller. Love you already.

The biggest scam of my life? Fucking taxes, bro. You're telling me that a government entity, we don't know any of these people, we apparently elected them, they just get to decide how much money they get to take out of every single one of my paychecks and then they spend it on stuff that I don't even know where it goes. And then you're telling me that I gotta then pay somebody else at the end of the year to look at the amount of taxes I paid

and decide whether I owe them more taxes or if they give me money back. And none of it makes sense to me. I'm trying to talk to somebody that it makes sense to. They don't know either. Three different accounts. They might give you three different answers. I know. I know, bro. The government and the taxes. What are we doing? Biggest scam of my life.

It is so crazy. It's really starting to make sense for me this year. Like when you make money, I'm like, well, I'm not really why. Just tell me how much money I have take it all out immediately all the taxes you're paying me this much I don't even know what that number is still no idea what taxes are doing for what for who because why okay how do I know that knock on my Dale and knock on that? Knock on my door and take me to jail God if one day, I know one day I'm gonna get hit. Dude during this podcast one day

I'm gonna get a knock on the door and you're gonna see me get cuffed for tax fraud and I'll go like this Yeah, I had no idea Mm-hmm. Yeah, I'll be right. Yeah'll go like this. Yeah, I had no idea. Mm hmm. Yeah, I'll be right. Yeah, just take me. OK. And that would be the end of this. The end of this podcast is when the government knocks on my door, a guy in a suit puts me in handcuffs, puts me in a car, bashes my head against the roof of the car first. And goes, you didn't fill out your W9, right? Takes me to jail. And then this just keeps recording for all time.

Two week long podcast because he got arrested midway through. How are we supposed to know? Remember taxes? It's already tax time, bro. Somebody told me the other day they're like yeah just do your taxes now. Now? Right it took me 14 years to figure out how to do them last time. It's already one night of sleep and it's time to do taxes again. Can I just get two hours of not worrying about taxes? God, hey, Benny.

So in my opinion, the biggest scam of all time is the stupid workout shakes and like, oh, protein. I don't know, like just mixes and stuff that you can have or like the ones that are like, you know, those ones that like make you shit a lot to lose weight. Five or one bars. Why do you have these? Because in reality, the only way to be like healthy and lose weight is eat right and workout. But nobody wants to say that everybody's just like, oh oh take this juice. It is crazy. Yes, so true

There's only one way just shit your brains out, but you're not I mean you'll lose weight in the moment, but it's not real So I think that's the biggest scam of all time it really is it so if she's so right I hate being the guy that's like, you got to do it all right. But it's like the only way. I don't get how how are people losing weight and they're not like like dying when they're training? I don't I just don't get that. Like if you're a bigger person and you lose like a substantial amount of weight, like

and how are you not gaining that right back? I don't know if I don't I just don't get it. But yeah, all that shit like any anytime somebody like comes up to me and they're like, bro, you look good. I'm like, thanks. You have no idea that I've worked out every single day of my life since I was 12. They're always just like, what do you take? I'm like, dude, it's not that. Like, I don't even know if the stuff I'm taking is doing it. Protein and creatine, which I'm sure is a scam from I get it from GNC just normal shit It's so true. There's only one way. There's one way, and it's just

Can't eat anything you like And you have to work out every day How do I you can't do it? It's it's you can't eat anything good The amount of people I've told that to, and they're just like, yeah. I'm like, I don't know, you just can't, like whatever you really wanna eat, you just can't eat it. Like that's just what it is.

It's so simple, but the most annoying thing, and there's no substitute. It's, it's, it's actually hell. Okay, so I've definitely washed like a white shirt with dark colors before and I've totally thrown in like pink or red with unlike colors, like lighter colors and nothing happened. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.

Isn't that shit supposed to turn fucking pink if you wash a white shirt with a red shirt big lie Never happened to me big US lie It's happened to me though. Honestly, like I was thinking about that When is like mixing clothes with cold water? Hey, who's washing stuff with warm water? Is there anybody out there that's gonna pick warm instead of cold what's the difference Washing stuff with warm water. Is there anybody out there that's gonna pick warm instead of cold? What's the difference, honestly?

You ever wash something in warm water and then cold water and be like, oh my God, I'm never doing that again. Every single time I've ever done laundry or anyone's ever done laundry and I've watched them, cold, cold, cold, why why so the colors don't bleed Why would I ever use warm? Even if I had all darks in there I used to do darks and whites because I was like that's just how you do it, right? No difference I

Have I have watched a lot of red stuff with a lot of white stuff and my shit did turn pink. But I was like, I'll just wash it again. I washed it again and it was back to normal. What are we doing? A fabric softener. Can we talk about fabric softener? Who's buying this? What is the...

Okay. Dude, it's just the little I don't know dude I might be I might be too much of a guy to understand But the last thing I'm thinking about is oh my god my shirt doesn't feel soft Right just put on a shirt and then do the rest of the things I need to do I don't know bro. It's just it's way too bougie for me. Fabric softener? If I'm fucking around buying fabric softener,

that's how you know I'm a millionaire. Yeah, I had to like buy dryer sheets too? I was talking about dryer sheets. What? Are you kidding me? It's so they don't get static. figured out how now to I figured out the way if your clothes are staticky on you which that hasn't happened to me in like 17 years for some reason clothes sticking to you because they're too

staticky all you gotta do is put water on your legs my shorts are sticking to my legs wait why does that that is not happened to me since I was a kid. What is going on with that? I think the dryer sheets make it staticky. But if there's ever your shorts are ever like weirdly on your leg like that, just put water on your leg. Problem solved. What is all that shit about? Oh, Zempik. Haven't tried it. Never going to try it. Don't need to try it. But you lose the weight to just gain it all back for sure You have to do is not eat like a piece of shit. Maybe do some exercise No, pray on the weak ones pray on the lazy ones. I wasn't because a scam big scam. Oh my gosh I'm on the Ozempi.

You're such an idiot. Dude, there is only one way. Actually, there's two ways. There's one way to lose weight, and that's just to work out and eat everything you hate. And the other way is that I've only seen, and they look bad when they lose weight, but they lose weight just by smoking cigarettes.

Not telling you to do it But everybody that loses weight that's not like working out. I'm like this muck cigs for sure Why is that the only way I have no idea, but that's disgusting Multi-level marketing Mlm's go yo you want to join Vima verve High level marketing. Oh. MLMs. Go. Yo, you want to join Vimaverth? Always at least two of them at your college. Bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, got this sick opportunity always sending me a paragraph

in text like at the weirdest time. Bro, it's like it's working. It's making me money while I'm sleeping. I'm like, dude, this sounds like don't you? Who's on another episode of who's joining that? You got I swear people join anything. I'm like, dude, can you think about this? Like, it's obviously not good yet.

I made like seven thousand dollars last July. Yeah, I was just selling drinks and recruiting people. I'm like, God, that's the last thing I wanna do is talk to anybody. We're salesmen of all time. We're salesmen. I hate bothering people. Me bothering people to go to shows across the United States aka my

birthday parties. Dude yeah hey you want to meet there's so many times I've actually like I've trusted the person texting me and been like yeah I'll meet you just so you shut up. Meets me at a Starbucks on off the highway talks to me about God knows what for 30 minutes and I'm like I gotta get out of here you want a coffee yeah just sit down I want to tell you about this plant this new banking system it's gonna be like Apple what the f- Have I had my dad drop me off one time my dad dropped me off to get recruited by a multi-level marketer cringe moment of the week What was I doing just listening to a guy that was balding with a beard

That used to be on like the UND dance team Like this in a Starbucks across from a shaky table dance team like this in a Starbucks across from a shaky table yeah bro so you sell these you sell these energy drinks and they're not just energy drinks they're like there's like nutrients and like they're good for you you know he's just dying inside trying to get out of that contract every single one of them and you know just God dang, just what a bad signal for stupid people when they're in multi-level Walmart.

Like if anybody works for like, what is it? Mary Kay? I'm like I got a car! My fucking car! Dude, it's so weird. It's so brainless activity I feel like. What's the other one? The hair one? There's a hair

one, bro. Speaking of a guy that has hair problems. God, what's the hair one? Oh, I can't think of the name. You guys are saying it in your head right now, but you, oh, scam city. Yeah. Like I got a free trip to Brazil. Shut up. Selling yourself to the devil. what do I think is a scam boarding zones high school college changing your oil every 3000 miles it's 5000 top sheets oh you keep your comforter clean yeah but now you have a fucking sheet to wash the The electoral college, most cleaning products. Hint, vinegar is a cleaning product. That's it. It's cheap as shit, there's no chemicals in it. Brand new cars, wait two years and they're half the price.

Church, it's just snake oil. You're paying them for one hour of work a week. Speaking of which, fictional books, spoiler, they're not real. Weddings, biggest waste of money. Oh, wedding. What are you protecting your fucking trash can from? And finally underwear, you don't need it.

And to piggyback off of one you had, hydration drinks, mostly a scam. Oh yeah. Like this is my most boomer take ever. Like I have that shit at home. It's for free. I have it on tap. It's called water. I know, I know, I know.

Gatorade, a Gatorade. No. God, the thing, all the things we love are scams, but damn Gatorade Gatorade hurts Gatorade hurts. It's nothing Gatorade is just a bottle of Kool-Aid and you're drinking it during like your high performance They got us so good on Gatorade cool blue during a game. Are you on vacation? Are you down by six with two minutes left? Just drinking a soda pop on the bench a melted slushie

in a bottle I'm a melted slushie in a bottle baby come come come on in two for four Such a scam god he said one thing what do you say? Oh underwear, but I always forget Mayo main This is anonymous, but I always forget Mayo mains. No underwear gang Can we just a coin like why would I ever wear it? God, it is it. Why would you pay for it? What's it doing? What's it doing? I Think I got got going commando though cringe member of the week I think I got got going commando though cringe member of the week

God we're racking up these cringe moments. I gotta stop doing cringe stuff, but hey gotta have short memory boys gotta have short memory I think I got got Dude at the gym Was looking a little too hard and I was like, yeah, but you know, I made the choice It's all my fault Or the shorts that protect the most and today was a day where I wasn't wearing compression shorts to the gym Everything's covered got thick shorts on I'm like, I'm not wasting a pair of compression shorts for this I'm not I I'm good. My god. Go to the gym. He's looking. I'm like, kind of weird, but this happens a lot. I know where I am. At the gayest place

in the world. LA Fitness. Hollywood. It is what it is. Everybody knows. And I just think it's whatever. I'm like, cool. He's asking me how I do this and how I do that. And I'm like, yeah, I just put my hands here when I bench. I just widen it out. Da, da, da. He's like, oh, sick, sick, sick. I keep doing my thing. He keeps doing his thing.

He looks at me. Somebody looks at you in the gym, and you're like, here we go. And they're like, yo, can you get me on a spot? I'm like, yeah, for sure. So I'm spotting him. He's benching. He give me a lift off. All right cool bang Got him. I'm gonna try to get six my guy cool I think I'm the best spotter in the world by the way anybody that's ever spotted a person in the gym thinks they're like

Did why do I turn into a professional weightlifter when I'm spotting somebody? turn into a professional weightlifter when I'm spotting somebody. Up up up up up up! Up up up up up! Come on come on come on! I'm like the most no bullshit guy ever. I'm like you got it! You got it dude! One more! I know you got one more in the... Rax it.

I'm like okay. He's like I got two more sets. I'm like alright. God damn it. Now I'm just like your friend now? You asked somebody to be the spotter in the gym. You're just their best friend now for the next 15 minutes. I'm like, hey, alright. I can't, I'm not saying no. I signed up for this. I told you I would. Be weird. It's so weird if I said no. Can you spot me? No.

I'm doing that next time. One more set. He, hey. He cocks it back a little bit on the bench. And you know what he's doing? He's looking under my shorts when he's benching. And I thought about it at the same time he was doing it and we both felt it. You know when you, yeah. You know I'm talking about that moment where I'm like, oh he's looking at my dick. And at the same time he's like, I'm looking at the... And I was like, well, it's my fault.

Didn't wear compresses, but that's the price you pay. But you know what? It's the risk I'm willing to take. I'm commando gang probably forever. I don't know why you'd ever wear underwear. What's the boy though? I don't get it. I Don't get it It just makes me feel restricted. I like to be loosey-goosey Cringe moment of the week part two. We're just gonna keep going on cringe. Yeah, any sport, any drink that you buy. I kind of like, is LaCroix? Is LaCroix a scam? I'm kind of just on regular water now. I've had this water bottle for

God, it has to be four weeks. This water bottle, four weeks, I just fill it up and then I drink out of it. I don't know what... I'm sorry! Kill me! I don't have one of those big-ass steel water bottles that are bulletproof. If I was my aunt right now, heavens forbid. Scam? Um, probably having to pay for tampons and bras. I know it might not sound like I need one considering my voice is so low.

Nice voice. Uh, yeah. Tampons are insane. Like how the hell are you paying for that? There's only like two things that that are just gonna be cheap and they're kind of not now What I hate this take but what happened to just like eggs being cheap Bro eggs were the last real ones left eggs You can always eggs got your back, bro. Starving, eggs, there's always eggs. You're hungry, make some eggs.

Takes two seconds, healthy, cheap. It's like a life hack, almost. And I hate, I know it's like big news, but like, bro, a dozen eggs in California at Target are like 7.82. It's like, are the, did I just buy a dozen like buffalo chicken wings? I bought 24 eggs, it was like 16.99. I was like, don't I mean I

What am I supposed to do dude got me in a chokehold eggs you're all I think about Tampons just that's just I feel like should we should we get like a I We get we have to eat Can we just get like a thousand dollars a year or something for like things we can't control? That's what the president should do yo yo you want to make a difference dog 5k a year Tampons cover eggs like just just you can look you could probably eat for a year on five thousand dollars. That seems like pretty rough.

But like as long as you're like bare minimum you could probably do it. I think I could do it. Five thousand dollars. With the. I mean you're just eating like the essentials Tampons cover it hey vision oh I'm blonde. I'm my eyesight's bad. What do you want me to do? I just wake up and everything's blurry Like not my fault that I have to pay $260 for this every month or whatever

There's so many things we should we should get five thousand dollars January 1st boom, I know people would spend it like on dumb shit, but like Or what if like what if they sent you a credit card and you couldn't buy like you can only buy certain things like eggs Are like but you try to buy like, you know You know are like but you try to buy like you know you know you try to buy severed leg from party cities like I'm like yeah yeah yeah I tried to use my card my card I don't know yeah just thought you know like what if what if there was a good thing coding like was off Milk eggs bread meat you don't even need bread low-key who's buying bread What a luxury Five K you're just for stuff like that you're so right bras you're right

Why are we paying for that I know there's so many other things gas lucky I just feel like insurance of any shape or form whether it's health insurance or car insurance has got to be the biggest scam because you're paying the premium or it's automatically deducted out of your paycheck. Crazy. And a lot of times specifically with health insurance, you know, it's you don't have, you got the cheapest one or you got the expensive one. Even with the expensive one, which like majority of your paycheck is taken out every time you get paid, you still got to pay a fucking copay

and plus whatever percentage that they're not paying. And let's just say car insurance, you could have gone years without insurance. I mean, meaning an accident. And then all those years you've been paying for something, right, and then boom, you get into an accident, and then you have to pay like a $500, $1,000 deductible in order to get it rolling. Like what the fuck is that about?

That shit pisses me the fuck off. I love you. A lot of passion. Hey, fires in California. Guy who's never bought renters insurance quicker. Oh, my God. Right when I heard there was a fire 10 minute or 10 miles from my apartment, I was like, first of all, burn it to the ground.

Second of all. Guess I'll get renters insurance right now, effective immediately. I wonder how much money insurance companies made off that. But also. There are a couple of insurance websites I went to that were like, oh, no, because there's something going on in California right now. I'm like, you whore.

There's something going on in California right now. I'm like you whore Did my roommate I swear there's there's a fire at the Hollywood sign and we don't live far from the Hollywood sign at all Was told to evacuate my roommate didn't move So funny Didn't move So funny Didn't leave the apartment G Yeah, I don't know car insurance so confusing to me I'm like What are we even doing I want to how many how many times has renters insurance actually paid off? Yes, I think 13 people are waiting to see if I forget to lock my front door.

Why do I think that? Every time I'm locking my front door, I think if I just do this, move my head to the right, there's going to be 15 people that are watching me and then they go behind a wall. For the peace of mind. head to the right, there's going to be 15 people that are watching me and then they go behind a wall. For the peace of mind. I don't know. I'd rather have all my shit gone and pay 20. What is it?

It ends up being like $20 a month. But I'm like, dude, this is, this is, that's eggs. That's eggs. Okay. Respectfully, the biggest scam is living on the East Coast. It's just like giving dry humor. People are just like dry. No sense of anything.

No sense of just time or well-being. I just feel like this isn't the place for me, which is why I'm moving to the West Coast. I'm moving to California, but you know, people from here say California sucks, and people from California say East Coast sucks, so I shall see when I get there. My thing is I wanna know what it's like, what to expect moving to California.

I'm about 30 minutes away from LA. I wanna bring my bike out there because I wanna get back into riding. What community should I drive? What hobbies should I pick up? What's the dating scene like? Even though I probably won't have much time for it, but I definitely want to get making big, get into like making new friends like West Coast friends.

So please, please, please help me tell me what's like what restaurants are popping. Please, please, please, please, please. Worst tour guide from L.A. ever. Please please please please please worst tour guide from LA ever It's um I think I might be coming I might be becoming a little like Little bitch when it comes to weather because I was cold today Yeah, I was cold today, and it might have been 60 degrees And I was like turn the heat on

meanwhile Midwest negative two The weather is kind of a relief Dating scene I just wouldn't Uh Dating scene I just wouldn't Everybody's like dating in LA so hard. I'm like that's cuz you're dating in LA Nobody is looking for like anything really in LA. It's all

It's scammy scammy. Maybe it's just the part where I am But if you like date in Orange County or something, that's probably good. Orange County, everything around LA, 30 minutes out of LA, it's just the Midwest. Orange County is the Indiana of LA. I went to Orange County expecting like, like speedboats and like rich people and like massive houses neighborhoods like nice shops boutiques It's just strip malls and Best Buy's I was like hell. Yeah

Best restaurants, I mean you can man guy who's gone guy who doesn't ever leave his apartment his apartment. There are some there are some cool I can tell you one thing though I have been to a party in LA and I went to one party in LA and I was like alright this is pretty sick. I don't even know how I got invited but I was and I don't even know why I went but I was like alright yeah I feel cool I feel. I feel like I've been in LA for a year. Coolest thing I've done this whole time. Ha ha ha! That was one thing. The most addictive personality of all time.

Let's see. East Coast. I mean, I don't know. It is what you make it baby girl I think I'm starting to like LA because I think I'm just not being as much of a bitch anymore that's the reason I like it you just got to like make your you gotta just like Get comfortable with it for me. It was really hard because I've lived in the same place for 33 years So like I don't know why I thought it'd be Everybody acts like it's so easy to just move somewhere

Yeah, just that's it gotta be the biggest like how are you guys doing that? Oh my god Yeah, just like I can't tell you how many people told me to move to LA my whole life It was probably like a hundred people I mean it doesn't sound like a ton, but it's kind of a lot like especially like in the last few years I was in in move to LA. Yeah, just go What are you doing? I'm like, yo, it is not. Yeah, just take all your everything you've ever known Forget about it and then meet all new people all new people But you'll you'll run into people and gravitate towards good people just cuz who you are

But you'll you'll run into people and gravitate towards good people just cuz who you are But don't be the person that's trying to make friends too hard because then it's like okay know who to stay away from But there are I wish I knew more about the geography of LA because there are parts where I'm like, oh I love this part of town But I don't know what it is It's kind of it's kind of all the same after a while I Will say the people in like the East Coast Just seem more familiar to my style of people though people like I'm used to dealing with and growing up with. You know you go to like the airport at JFK or something like they're like

Hey kid! You know it's just like their attitude is like hey look up! Let's go! Like they're just like a little tougher honestly. People out here are I hate to like I kind of know. People out here are, I hate to like, play into the stereotype of that. It's kind of like, they're kind of like airheads a little bit. A little bit, just some people.

I'm like, some people I'm like, you guys don't know anything. Like a lot of people don't even know, like if I pointed to Indiana on a map, they'd be like, bro. I'm like, you guys don't even know like if I pointed to Indiana on a map they'd be like, bro I'm like you guys don't know shit For the first time ever I might know more than someone But yeah people in LA are like like

Like they know They don't they don't they're just in their own little world and it's fine Like I'm getting I'm getting to like to know the right group Of people when you move here remember it's gonna take be patient Cuz it's gonna take a little bit of time for you to like adjust and like oh, that's oh, that's what I like Okay, yeah now. I feel good that kind of thing But do it It'll only help you That is true do you move somewhere you lose all your bad habits That is true. Do you move somewhere? You lose all your bad habits. What the hell? Did I move to LA? I stopped at a weird, weird, weird, weird adjustment.

But like I couldn't. I just couldn't live the same way I was living. It was just I was like, it is not suitable for out here. You have to change like with your environment. That's a really good thing I learned. But yeah, it always helps. Hey, Benny Ben Ben. How are you? I'm so glad to be on the podcast. Hey.

But we're talking about scams. So I think the biggest scam is braces. I was so excited to get braces when I was in junior high, going into high school. And all I know is that I was getting straight teeth and I had the traditional metal ones. So when it was time for them to come off, they told me I had to wear a retainer

for the rest of my life. And I'm like, what is this? No one told me about this. This is a scam if I've ever seen one. Retainers, right. So I kept up really well with my retainers for like the first year. Then I lost them.

And over the years, my teeth had shifted again. So in my adult life, I ended up getting Invisalign. So my teeth got straight again. And I now wear my plastic retainer religiously because I had to spend money that second time to get them straight. So it's worth the compliments, I guess. Like people are always like, oh, you have such nice teeth

or you have such a pretty smile. And I'm like, thank you you it's a scam but well worth it I guess I think maybe but some nights I'll miss and the next day I can totally tell when I wear and like the following night if I miss it or what my retainer is so yeah that's a scam having to keep up with that having to keep up with that. But it's worth it to have nice teeth. Still a scam. I know you can just hear that she has her Invisalign in right there.

You ever talking to somebody on the phone and I'm like, hey, can you just, can you call me back when those things are out? I can hear it. I don't know. God damn, I'm so lucky. That's the trade-off. If you have bad vision, like you usually have good teeth. Good teeth, bad vision. That is insane. How long do you have to wear your retainer after you have braces? Are people wearing their retainers for life? Are people wearing the retainers for life?

The kid with like the perfect teeth and then like you You're eating next to him at lunch and he like has to pop his retainer out and it has like four teeth on it You know what I mean? And he goes they eat his lunch and he has like zero teeth in his mouth It's always that one guy that's like a yo You know I could do this and I like flick their top of their like retainer out and like for their teeth are Oh, and you're oh my god, you're homeless Love those guys. Those guys are always so polite always really funny always really polite too. I'm like wow Teeth retainer guys, haha, they look say looks so how would I ever know if you didn't tell me

is in this line of scam how long you gotta wear them I thought about getting them I respect people that are that are like 40 plus 30 plus and they have braces I'm like you're really doing it I love that but also like Your time's up People who get braces when they're 46 I'm like good for you, but like it's over races when they're 46 I'm like good for you but like it's over people who fix their teeth when they looked better with like kind of like normal looking teeth I'm like no the teeth you had originally were like you man I hate it when like a celebrity gets veneers and you're like no no or like I was like a sports player

they have like a little gap and you're like oh yeah, no, or like a sports player. They have like a little gap and you're like, oh yeah, that's just, that's just, that's just Anthony. Then they get their teeth fixed. I'm like, oh God, you're not even, you're not even who, you're not even the guy I thought you were anymore. Changes everything. Gets veneers tomorrow.

Let's keep going. Last one. All powders like AG1 and all those like green healthy powders are all the biggest scam. Also so's religion. Woo! Go there! She went there! Yeah, religion's actually scary, scammy. I'm paying you for this.

The first time I actually realized what the collection basket was, I was like, yo, we're giving them money for this. Oh, my God. And I haven't paid attention to anything. That's so crazy. Free money, free money. Hey, don't you put your free money in here? And I was always the kid that was like let me put it in there

All the powders are so but like honestly, what is that stuff? I've never once had more energy From eating or drinking anything different, you know what, You know what? I had the most energy from was not It was not eating bread anymore. I stopped eating bread I'm a weapon There's not one time during the day where I've been like I need to take a nap Like I need to take a nap take me out of the game right now And you say there's not been one time but when I was eating bread, I'd be like hey yo, I could take like ten.

I think bread might be. What's the point? Carbs, you need carbs you idiot! Ash! Rice. Your boys on rice now. It's just dessert. You idiot! Ash! Rice Your boys on rice now It's just dessert Like if you want to lose weight and like do that all that you got it you got to think like a psycho It's just it is part of the game part of the game plan You want to like have no fat you have to be literally insane.

And now rice is dessert for me. So good. I burn it a little bit on purpose. Now this is getting a little crazy. I burn it on purpose, kind of tastes like popcorn. Am I at AMC movie theater right now? Or am I in my living room listening to Scott Van Pelt at 10 p.m.

Eating rice going like this If you're insane don't want to talk to you all the powders fake i'min, creatine I take. Probably just pissing it out. I don't know, man. It's gotta help with something. Right? Protein powder? There's protein in it. It's gotta be doing something.

I usually just take it because I don't eat enough during the day. Gotta supplement it with something, because I like I just can't to gain to like gain actual muscle. You have to eat like a dog. You have to eat like a horse. Like meal after meal, you ever see

like what an NFL player eats in one day? It's like, how are you still eating? Somebody told me that lunch the other day, and I was like, how are you still eating? Somebody told me they had lunch the other day and I was like, who the? Hold on, yep. Eating lunch right now. I'll get to it right after this. Lunch?

When's the last time you sat down and ate lunch? Lunch is a scam! Breakfast is the O.G. scam. I know you've seen that that Tick Tock guy. They weren't selling enough meat, so a guy just invented breakfast and a bacon sausage.

Hey. Pork, too. Milk scam. God, I hate that everything is a scam, but like, what are we going to do, man? Milk's the biggest scam. God, I hate that everything is a scam, but like, what are we going to do, man? Milk's the biggest scam. Did it do anything?

Nobody was buying it and they made they told you that it helps your bones grow and then everybody bought it and they put Mark McGuire in the front of the magazine with a mustache and everybody, but hey, hey, hits home runs. Let's buy milk. Me buying milk the other day. Actually, I bought silk because I'm a little whore Yeah, I don't know how religions bad though just pray if you have to Just pray. If you have to.

Pray and halfway through the prayer think about something completely different than forget you're praying. Oh my God. That's it, babe. Dear Diary went to the doctor and they just... Asked me what I wanted for medicine. It was the most odd. I was like, is this in California shit? First of all, I can't believe that I went to the doctor and they just were. I can't believe I got in the doctor's office.

Like I don't know. Mean me in a new health care system. How did that happen? Took me an entire week to figure that out. And two, the doctor was just like, what do you need? And I was like, uh, what do you mean? I was like, I told him everything. I was like, my back kinda hurts.

I'm like, this is where we do this, right? Like, I'm gonna tell you everything. And he's like, okay. And I was like, I got some thing on the bottom of my foot, only hurts. I'm like this is where we do this right like I'm gonna tell you everything He's like okay, and I was like I got some thing on the bottom My foot only hurts when I'm in a bad mood like I was just saying it all bro And I was just being honest. I was like yeah, it's like a wart I think like it hurt yesterday, and I'm like might as well tell you um Losing my hair need new hair pills. He's like, you have ADHD or anything? And I was like, actually, I was like, doesn't everybody? I think I said that.

And he was like, well. And I was like, I don't know. He's like, you don't need any medication for that, do you? And I was like, what? Bro would have prescribed me anything. I'm like, what are you going off of here? Just because like, just cause? Is it because you have a security camera in this room when you weren't in here, and I was gyrating on the chair You're just going off vibes doc

Weirdest thing But I was like I really only need the hair pills like I don't know like that's why I'm here honestly Check my breathing. I guess how about when the doctor puts a stethoscope on you and he's like breathe in hold breathe out I forget how to breathe. I'm like Hmm And he's like just breathe normal and I'm like okay but I'm like I wonder if other people breathe like this I was breathing like a dog you know how you how you just look at your dog sometimes and he's like like it's all irregular and

quick I was like I'm breathing like a Cockapoo right now. Huff huff huff huff huff huff huff huff huff huff huff huff huff huff huff huff huff huff huff huff huff huff huff huff huff huff huff huff huff huff huff huff huff huff huff huff huff huff huff huff huff huff huff huff huff huff huff huff huff huff huff huff huff huff huff huff huff huff huff huff huff huff huff huff huff huff huff huff huff huff huff huff huff huff huff huff huff huff huff huff huff huff huff huff huff huff huff huff huff huff huff huff huff huff huff huff huff huff huff huff huff huff huff huff huff huff huff huff huff huff huff huff huff huff huff huff huff huff huff huff huff huff huff huff huff huff huff huff huff huff huff huff huff huff huff huff huff huff huff huff huff huff huff huff huff huff huff huff huff huff huff huff huff huff huff huff huff huff huff huff huff huff huff huff huff huff huff huff huff huff huff huff huff huff huff huff huff huff huff huff huff huff huff huff huff huff huff huff huff huff huff huff huff huff huff huff huff huff huff huff huff huff huff huff huff huff huff huff huff huff h me any drug in the world and I was like, BUD, PILLS TO HERE! Don't know anything. Show and tell, oh my god. Yo, hold on, hold on, BRB, BRB, 10 seconds. 10 9 8 7 6

5 4 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 You're literally like 6 years old, you had to do the countdown thing while you left. Hey, show and tell. Yo, somebody just sent me this.

And... I love you. I love you so much. Somebody just sent me a variety pack of mustard. Oh! Not kidding. This isn't even the original one they sent me. This whole grain mustard right here. Old style mustard. I took out the whole jar. First

two days and had to buy a new one at the store. Didn't know you could buy this stuff at the store. Open my eyes. We got honey Dijon. We got Dijon Original. We got rich country Dijon mustard blend. That's probably gas. This on eggs for $200 amazing whoever sent me this mustard. Oh My god, I fucking love mustard. What's my problem? I? Love mustard so much I cussed I think it's just salami sandwiches Salami got me hooked dude gateway drug, but whoever sent me mustard. I love you keep it coming I've eaten mustard every day for the past 365 days it's part of the game now babe cringe mode of the week did a

lot of that did a lot of that cringe mode of the week when I gave my entire password face like this and username to some random guy and had like a million followers. Just saying. My God. I'll save the other cringe moment for the next week. No, I won't, I'm doing it right now. I don't know how I thought of this. Oh, I saw an Under Armour commercial,

one of those old school ones. Click, click! I think you hear us coming. I don't know how I thought of this. Oh, I saw an Under Armour commercial one of those old-school ones click click I think you hear us coming. I used to be obsessed with those commercials obviously Just cuz duh what guy wasn't? When Under Armour came out I was like, this is so sick. I used to watch them before football games Freshman football I'd watch Under Armour commercials on my phone on the bus to get hyped up for the game I was like, I just want to be like those guys And in the commercial they had like a goal line stand the defense like held the held the other team

They're on the one yard line and this this dude this linebacker who's like the face of Under Armour in the huddle during the commercial Was like this is our house like talking to the defense, we must protect this house. And the whole defense was like, I will, I will. And then they like stopped the other team and it was a hype and underarmor. They did this like thing in the school bus and they're like beating on their pads.

They're like, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do. It was just so cool. I was like, oh my god so sick As with my friend when we were watching the commercials cuz we're like, yeah, this is so sick And I was like yo, we got to do that in the game We got to do like the under armor thing like if we ever get in a situation like that. This is like a Saturday If we ever get in a situation like that, he and my friend is a middle linebacker So I was like you got to do he's like bro. That would be so high on dude. Yeah, I

Was like yeah We had a game on Monday the exact situation happened Five seconds left We're in the huddle on defense Five seconds left. We're in the huddle on defense. They're on the one yard line. They have two plays to score.

I'm like, bro, bro, bro. Are my best my friend, the linebacker, saying it in the huddle. He's like, you know, saying the defensive call. I have no idea what it was. Probably wasn't even listening. But I was like, too, true, true to the Under Armour thing. I was in the back of the huddle. I was like, do this from the commercial to the Under Armour thing. And he like, wasn't calling the play yet.

And I was like, do it. Do the Under Armour thing. Like acting like we're in the commercial. It's a real game, like real game. Ret like fan refs. Like we got to beat this team for real. And I'm like, do it. And he's like calling the play and he's just like looking around.

I'm like, see it. Like the peer pressure friend yo and he butchers it so he's like we gotta protect it we gotta protect it and I was like god damn it that's not it dog like and I was like trying to help him I was like let's protect this house it was just so white and I was like trying to help him. I was like, let's protect this house. It was just so white. And I was like, oh my God. Oh my God. And I was like trying to like, then then after that, we really had to stop them.

So I was like, oh, I just killed the vibe of the whole. Our whole rest of the defense was probably like, what are you guys doing? And we're like, I just want to make this cool for everybody. And I just watch this commercial. We really messed it up. But like. Did we stop them? for everybody and I just watched this commercial we really messed it up but like did we stopped him one more play to go and I was like yeah it worked do it again fourth and one games on the line we stop them we win I was like, do it again. Didn't do it.

So I take it and I take my responsibility on me. And I'm like, I got to get this crowd hype fourth and one. This is just like the Under Armour commercial. And I'm standing out there playing defense. I'm the corner. And I start doing this, like trying to get the crowd pumped. Like, you know how they're like, yeah, get up. Like, make it loud.

Like, with their hands like this I was doing that only I was jumping up and down at the same time cuz I was like let's go yo trying to be hype what come on dude if we stop when we win I was trying to get hyped it we watched the film back bro fourth and one biggest play of the season. I'm just looking at the press box and my coach goes, Polizzi, what was going through your mind right here when he just decided to start doing seven jumping jacks while they snap the ball. So they start the ball.

So they start to play and I'm looking at our sideline like this. More than that, like seven of them, like it took a long time. They're running the play the other way. And I'm doing I'm like trying to get the crowd high. Hey, our line, our linebacker that butchered it made the tackle. We won the game. But I was like, dude, showed the whole team on Monday.

Me just going, I don't looking at all my friends going, I, I don't know, I was just trying to like get pumped up. That's what I said. Just trying to get pumped up. That's what I said. Just trying to get pumped up We must protect this house let's do days Thursday today handwriting day Boy if there's one thing

handwriting day. Boy, if there's one thing There's one thing that fluctuates in my life, it's my handwriting. Man, you can tell what mood I'm in by handwriting. You can tell my confidence level. If my handwriting's real small, I have no idea what I'm doing. People with big-ass handwriting, how come every girl writes like that? I'll never get it every girl Just has their own font and it's that one font, you know, I'm talking about. It's like very narrow I'm like, how do you guys all know how to do that? What changed my life for the better though When I started making my a's like a computer. I felt so cool. The day I switched

Mm-hmm. You couldn't tell me shit And then a girl commented on it. Oh my god, you dry your A's like that I was like, yeah It's whatever though I'm the guy I'm the guy. I'm the guy with the lowercase a's that's doing it for that reason. I'm the guy who texts in all lowercase font. There's a type of guy that does that and he's probably got some insecurities and it's definitely

me. I'm the lowercase font guy. I admit it. I know. I like my guy like not to care about shit. Sorry. Sorry Ash. I care about everything. What type of guys are out there not caring about stuff like that? I don't want my boyfriend to have any pictures on his Instagram. I don't want my boyfriend to have over 13 followers on his account.

What do you want your boyfriend to be like? Every girl. I just want my boyfriend to like stare at a fucking wall all day. What's your boyfriend look like? Ew, if he types in with capital, if he types in all lowercase, ew. Ew, if he has more than a thousand followers, ew. Ew, if he can more than a thousand followers, ew. Ew, if he can touch his toes, ew. What's your boyfriend look like?

Hi, I'm Rodney. Hi, I'm Jeremy. I'm Jeremy. Hi, I'm Jeremy. Just dating a caveman. Hi, I'm Jeremy. We having ribs. I like ribs. I don't want my boyfriend to like any meat.

I don't like my boyfriend. I don't want him to know how to swim. Ew. Eck, eck, eck. I just want him to know how to swim. Ew, ick, ick, ick. I just want him to cut the grass. I want him to cut the grass. And then I, I want him to eat tacos like sometimes only with me.

Shut up. What kind of dude? Oh, okay. I love you. I'm Jeremy. Hey, hunty. Hunty tacos. Tacos tonight, hunty.

Just us. What kind of guy is it? That guy doesn't exist. I want a guy with zero personality. Ewey, bets on sports? No, I could never. Who you dating then? A brick wall?

Everybody knows a Jeremy though. I just watch movies and eat tacos with my girlfriend. Holy holy holy holy lord. Insane. Granola bar day. I can't be the only one that's just thinking about granola bars all the scam granola scam og Granola a rough day when we figured out granola was candy Whoever made You can get me with branding though If I'm just a little bit down bad you can can get me with branding though. If I'm just a little bit down bad, you can really trick me with some granola.

I'll walk into a store like, that looks good. Yeah, I need some grains. I will just convince myself that I need carbs and grains all of a sudden. Actually, all you got to do is tell me I'm skinny and I will change my diet for four weeks. Did you lose some weight? Right to Papa John's on the way home. Then I'm like, I'm fat. God damn. Holy body.

This more for you, Batman. Granola bar day, but just just the way this. Who's eating one? When you get the variety pack of chewy bars, crush them all up, put them in a bowl, add milk Best day of my life God dang, speaking of food that I want so bad that I'm gonna eat one day The video of the kid who has a bowl of ice cream with all the fruity pebbles on top The video of the kid who has a bowl of ice cream with all the fruity pebbles on top

He's like some people prefer their fruity pebbles with milk. I prefer mine with ice cream And he's eating it with braces on. I'm like God. I want to be that kid God I want to be that kid so bad. That kid made it look good. I was like yo Email me a bowl of that Next cheat day it's going down. Ice cream, vanilla, any cereal I want on top. Urgh. Friday. Blonde brownie day.

I feel like I always talk about blonde brownies. I always talk about food. Beer can appreciation day Beer cans hey too cold Compliment day I've ran through enough compliments to feed nations Are we sick of polite catcalling I Mean what do you want me to do?

Right now polite catcalling paying the bills. It's the people that aren't fam that like polite catcalling. You know I mean I Was talking to somebody that listens to podcasts the other day and they're like, bro The podcast is the real is the real one Videos like yeah, I like your videos. They're cool. But the podcast is where it's at and that right there means the world to me Thank you for understanding only the few only the proud only the kiss club Saturday Only the few, only the proud, only the Kiss Club. Saturday, Irish coffee day. That video of that guy making a thousand Irish coffees will always be in my head for the rest of my life. Damn, those look good.

He puts a little like scuba like on top. Like, what is that? Like whip in every one. Looks like he's, it's like a cartoon the way he's putting that thing together. You know what I'm talking about? The Irish guy behind the bar, that's what I'm thinking. Like, he's it's like a cartoon the way he's putting that thing together, you know I'm talking about the Irish guy behind the bar. That's a big like He's just topping them off like God that's like human Bugs Bunny back there

Florida day I miss Florida that's that's one thing about living in In LA, it feels like it's it feels like it's fake, Florida almost I'm like this is fake, Florida You guys got palm trees. It's not really that hot how Like there's oceans, but they're not like floor Florida's like yo, this is like Tropical LA not tropical. It's just like has some of the tropical stuff for no reason a has some of the tropical stuff for no reason. A beach in Florida, you're like, yo, I'm getting like a tan that's gonna last me three weeks. I'm gonna find seashells.

I'm gonna take pictures. Might turn into a mermaid. You're at the beach in LA, you're like, I just kinda wanna go home, why's it cold? in LA you're like I just kind of go home why is it cold guy who's never been to a beach in LA but that's what it is Florida air bro I want to wake up in Florida so bad that might be my like yo what that uh, what's that town in Joe Dirt? Silver, Silver Town? You know he's like talking about Silver, the guy who's seen one movie, he's

talking about Silver Town the whole time? He's like man I just want to live in Silver Town and one of these days you're gonna get to Silver. Dude I think that's my Fort Myers. When I'm like, when it's all said and done bro, this is my final my final goal. I don't know what's gonna happen between now and then. If we keep cranking this a lot's gonna happen and I think it will too. So we're doing everything good. We're good squad. Get your karma right.

We got our karma right. Doing everything good. We're eating good. We're working out. We're writing. We're setting ourselves out. We're writing we're setting ourselves up For success. So we're doing kiss club That's the spine the backbone of the kiss club. I

Don't know what's gonna happen to me now and then hopefully good stuff. We don't plan it out though because we don't know anything But when that final day comes and I retire We don't know anything. But when that final day comes and I retire, 80 years old, 84, I'm gonna live in Florida and I'm gonna be a Twitch streamer because the Kiss Club lives on forever. Just gonna play video games all day.

Oh no, you can't play video games. Ew, you're gonna play video games? I'm gonna gonna play video games all day. Oh no, you can't play video games. You're gonna play video games? I'm gonna be 84. Yeah, I'm gonna play video games. It's probably gonna be like Aladdin on Super Nintendo. I don't know how that happens. You know how stuff comes up? Oh, TikTok ban.

Was that it? That's a big scam. Who cares though? Everybody's like, oh my God, the algorithms are gonna like gonna change and like all my stuff is so different. I'm like you're just Who cares? Hey stuff changes, I don't know. What do you want? What do you want to do about it? Yeah, it got a new algorithm learn to like adapt like adapt. I don't know. Like, we can only control so much here. Short memory, folks! Short memory, boys!

Sunday. Peanut brittle day. Yep. I just think that, I think peanut butter really is...'s got to be signed. I got to be scientifically like I've thought about peanut butter more than my family It's just something about like Having a jar of peanut butter in your it'll last Oh my I will eat a jar of peanut butter in three days, bro. God damn whoo Don't leave me around your jar

Dead serious The things I would do a jar of peanut butter right now, that's like disgusting you're perverted all right Green juice day spouses day green juice day. It's all a scam. My god, everything is a scam. All you need is basic stuff. That's it. And we know that. Sometimes you gotta get scammed into the scam though. Scammers gotta scam. Spouse's Day, hope you don't have one. If you do... Um... Thoughts and prayers.

Alright, fam. Love you so much. Thanks for the voice messages. Love this pod. Love you guys. Keep doing your thing. Get your camera right. Get your camera right. Kiss Club Spressy Boys forever. See you next time. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha