Espresso - whats your guilty pleasure?

Episode Date: October 20, 2022

On this episode benny reacts to some of the weirdest gd things you guys are in love with (like bleaching your a$$hole)💦 🔥𝗠𝗲𝗿𝗰𝗵 https://benedictmerch.com/ 🔒𝗣𝗮��𝗿𝗲𝗼𝗻 https://www.patreon.com/benedictpolizzi 🔴 𝗬𝗼𝘂𝗧𝘂𝗯𝗲 https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCXRwNZpU67AK24r5QGfIfCw 🔸𝗖𝗮𝗺𝗲𝗼 https://www.cameo.com/benedictpolizzi... 🔹𝗧𝗶𝗸𝗧𝗼𝗸 https://www.tiktok.com/@benedictpoliz... 🔸𝗜𝗻𝘀𝘁𝗮𝗴𝗿𝗮𝗺 https://www.instagram.com/benedictpol... 🔹𝗧𝘄𝗶𝘁𝘁𝗲𝗿 https://twitter.com/benedictpolizzi

Fam! What's good? Espresso shot 233. I'm your host, Benedict Polizzi, and we've got an announcement to make. New podcast! These Guys, with my homie Joey Molinaro. It's out on all streaming platforms. Apple Podcasts, Spotify, YouTube, and, uh, yeah, we'll be posting on our Instagrams and stuff like that. So, follow along. This is actually, uh, we'll be posting on our Instagrams and stuff like that. So follow along. This is actually how the espresso started. Me and him started espresso. Then we had to do our own shit. And then, yeah.

So new podcast alert. And remember, benedictmerch.com for everything. Who's buying this? Feeling glonky? Espresso podcast stuff. We got some surprises coming coming too can't talk but it's okay gotta get them out baby gotta get them out and uh yeah remember to join the patreon five dollars a month for an extra episode every single week the pot over there is getting sexy too it's

a little add but if it's not add i don I don't want it. All right, guys. Here we go. It was espresso therapy last week. Thanks for your DMs this week. Let's get freaky. What's your guilty pleasure? The espresso. Quick, quick, quick, quick question of the week.

Mine, told you. It's listening to Halsey on 38 volume in my car, 38 out of 38 and, uh, eating shit from the gas station at 2am bro, a road trip, like long, like a long one. It's like, it's like one of those road trips where you're like, nah, I'm not going to stay in the hotel. I'm not going to stay the night where I am. I'm fucking muscling through the shit and driving through the night. And you're listening to Halsey and eating Taco Bell and fucking shit for like a weird snacks from the gas station at 2am. Oh, and you're like, you're not even driving, but you are, you're just autopilot. It's so weird, dude. After two hours of driving, you're just like,'re not even driving, but you are. You're just autopilot. It's so weird, dude.

After two hours of driving, you're just like, am I even doing this anymore? I don't know. Maybe it's because I live in the Midwest and every road is just fucking 90 miles long of nothing. But yeah, that's my guilty pleasure, bro. I'll do that shit in my house, bro. I will sit in my house and blast the girliest fucking music and then just and eat like jack's pizza and i'm like nothing is better than this it doesn't get better than this you guys don't that tiktok song yeah you know i'm

talking about and if you don't know what i'm talking about you kind of do so and if you're pretending not to know what i'm talking about you know what i'm talking about, you kind of do. So, and if you're pretending not to know what I'm talking about, you know what I'm talking about so hard. You probably have the audio saved on TikTok. It doesn't get better than this. That's me eating Jack's pizza, but I don't get like bad food at the gas station. I get food that I'm like, I won't feel so guilty about walking to the gas station at 2am is already like walk of shame, but I usually try to, I try to get like some granola bars, but then I end up getting like six of them and dipping them in Jif peanut butter and then eating those. And I wake up in the morning, I'm like, what just happened? Who was I last night? All right. Anyway, that's mine. Holy

shit. That's mine. But, uh, let's hear yours. Espresso, quick, quick, quick question of the week. What's your guilty pleasure? Let's get into it from anonymous. My guilty pleasure? Earwax. It doesn't matter if it's mine or somebody else's. I want to see it. I just want to look at it.

I want to watch it come out of the ear want to i just want to look at it i want to watch it come out of the ear and i just want to look at it oh do i love you dude because it's my it's the dude i think every time a girl looks at the side of my head i'm like she saw it fuck fuck it's over it's over she saw it and i swear they see it and they don't say anything because they don't want to like you know you know when somebody has a booger but they're like in a good mood you're like i don't really want to fuck this up for you so i'm gonna let you ride that one out playboy hopefully you see it in the mirror when you take a piss but uh between me and in this booger we're not saying anything to each other all right deal deal that's the conversation they have when they look at my ear and they see just a fucking dude my ears are

earwax factories dude i don't know what's going on in my fucking head bro but my shit is just churning out earwax i thought she was gonna say she likes looking i thought she was gonna say she likes licking it not that i've done that probably on this podcast and you've seen me do it, but I don't know what is, I need like, you know how people carry like the floss picks. I need like Q-tips bad. Not even Q-tips works, bro. I'll Q-tip the shit out of my ears nothing two two seconds i go i q-tip my ears go down the stairs talk to somebody it's shit it's just flying out of my ears oh my god i hate it dude if i saw my ears like not from a mere perspective just from a person perspective i would fucking punch me in the head what was that for your ears are just fucked up and kind of hearing every ear waxing all the time I'd be like oh

okay makes sense there's more to this voice message by the way if anyone wants their ears cleaned I can do it with my pinky now I'll just literally stick my freaking pinky now in there and get all the earwax out and we can look at it together is this porn hey but honestly what feels better than this kind of like a longer pinky nail just doing one of these what feels feels better than that? Nothing feels better than this. Gotta look at it. Every time. I swear to God, I could do this for 15,000 hours

straight, and on the last minute of the hour, if I looked at my finger, it'd be flaky. Alright, I'm gonna stop talking about your remarks. Cause nothing gets better than this. Here we go. What's your guilty pleasure, fam? because nothing gets better than this. Here we go.

What's your guilty pleasure, fam? I fucking love smoking cigarettes. You know what? I don't know. Cigarettes are gross. It's disgusting. It looks gross. You're taking money away from your bank account.

It smells gross. All your shit smells like cigarettes. It's so obvious that you can't hide it. There's no point. And then I walk past somebody smoking a cigarette, and I'm like, actually, I get it. That shit smells good sometimes. Like, fuck, why'd that make me want to light up?

That's a good one, bro. Man, people in vapes, dude. Oh my God. I was talking to this girl the other day. She wouldn't, dude, she had her vape in a chokehold. That thing was fighting for its life. Oh yeah, so nuh-uh. That's so crazy all right oh my god me too fuck oh yeah that's oh no no so you said last week that oh that's right

oh that's right yeah right right right me too dude when people blow that's so fucked up and you have to sit there and act like it's not like a problem for their health you're like yeah uh-huh i got a number you can call here if you need his actual help from a professional. Just, just dude, her vape was putting in overtime. I can't imagine. Like, I don't know what a vape looks like on the inside. I don't know if it has like gears and shit, but her vape was like, the commander and her vape was like, keep going. Keep going.

We got a couple more minutes to go. Push through it, push through it. Push through it, guys. And just everybody, cranking out. Dude, her vape was like on treadmill speed. Like there was an engine in that thing and that bitch had a hemi.

She was working, bro. Yeah, but let's keep going on this guy's shit. There's more. I can smoke 2.5 in six minutes. I time myself every day. Man, this dude's ripping heaters. Dude, guys that smoke cigarettes do sound like they're like on their shit, though. Like a business, like a guy trying to sell you something always smokes cigarettes.

And he's always like. That's how he sounds. when I'm bored like you slow down Swear to God Ben if you tell my mom I'll be so sad I'm scared of you. I love you though, man Nothing feels better than smoking two and a half cigarettes in six minutes for some reason i would like it probably does hit better than vaping because you know like everybody has done this you smoke real weed and you smoke vape we are like weed pen weed you like the real weed

better because it's probably the same thing with vapes and cigarettes maybe i don't know but uh yeah when people smoke like rip a cigarette in the morning i'm like i bet that hit that's disgusting but you know they got like their head was in fucking outer space everybody's yeah, you ever try a cigarette after sex? Oh, one of my friends, that's a comedian was like, yo,

after you get on stage and you just walk around with a cigarette, that's, that's why comedians smoke, I guess. Cause there's like no better feeling than like having a good set and then like ripping a heater, a cry, like walking around the block. I'm like,

not going to say I'd do it, but I get where you're coming from. Just keep going. My guilty pleasure is that I feel like I have to try every new flavor of Mountain Dew. Like mango, habanero, marinara Mountain Dew. Sure. Give me a bottle.

Tie pod Mountain Dew. I'll try it. I might not like it, but I'll try it. Yeah. But I don't even buy regular Mountain Dew. I'll try it. I might not like it, but I'll try it. But I don't even buy regular Mountain Dew. It's like I'm not a total piece of shit. I'm just like upper white trash.

But really, the only thing I'm guilty of is giving pleasure let's go merch coming out soon i promise but uh there's a new mountain dew for halloween mountain dew and it like i passed it in the store the other day literally stopped me in my fucking tracks i was like i think I drooled a little bit. You ever see something and drool and you got to look around

and make sure nobody saw? Always happens, dude. One time I was literally looking at a Snickers. I drooled and my stomach was like, I was like, can I be any more of a fucking caveman right now? Mountain Dew, Halloween. My stomach like made room for it when I saw it. I was like, stop. Oh God. Like hitting myself and shit. Oh, here it is. Here

it is. Mountain Dew, the Halloween version. Mountain Dew voodoo. Bro, i love when just mountain dew is the goat bro of marketing i never fucking say goat but they are he's the goat that's why he's the goat city boy sensational you know if you know if you know you know but uh yeah mountain dew vooo. They just have their shit together, dude. Mountain Dew and Taco Bell. Whoever's running their shit, step forward. We need to make out. Taco Bell knows what they're doing, bro. Always coming out with new shit. Always collabing with like Fritos or something.

You know, who's not buying this? Mountain Dew, always collabing, always making new shit. Oh, it's fucking, yeah, we're going to make cinnamon flaming hot Mountain Dew because who's not buying that? I mean, who's buying this? But I mean, at the same time, you're like, I would. They just know what the fuck is going on. And I don't blame you at all for being a Mountain Dew whore. Dew whores. Dew whores. whore do whores do whores you're do whore just don't like be just don't like tell people about it a lot don't be guy with Mountain Dew that's like oh it's showing up always with the Mountain Dew like keep it in your car you know you don't want to be Mountain Dew personality guy but being a Mountain Dew for Halloween would be funny. It's like respectable trashy.

He's right. It's respectable trash. You're like, oh my God, you drink all that Mountain Dew, but it is like, it is a nice bottle, and I see where you're coming from. Mountain Dew might be the king. I'm going to burp. I love you, burpy boy.

Whoa. Mountain Dew's the king of carbonated drinks. That's not Pepsi or Coke. Yeah. It goes, it honestly goes Coke, Pepsi, Mountain Dew, but they're all under, shut up. If we're just talking like the names, it goes Coke. Coke is LeBron of carbonated drinks.

Pepsi's second because of Britney Spears and Jeff Gordon. And they sponsor every halftime show since I was fucking born. And then Mountain Dew probably just because they're nice with it. Not that you guys care about my fucking carbonated drink rankings, but yeah. Let's keep going. So my guilty pleasure is eating Flamin' Hot Cheetos. You?

Regular Flamin' Hot, Extra Flamin' Hot, Lyman Flamin' Hot, doesn't matter. Love them all. Flamin' Hot, doesn't matter. Love them all. And secretly hoping that, you know, Ben Polizzi, that FBoy Island guy does a, who's buying this segment about it? Because then I'll just eat it some more.

Ha ha ha. Fuck. He dipped out before the fuck. Good choice, man. You got to be a pro. You got to be a pro sometimes. Can't get them with the fuck all the fuck. Good choice, man. You got to be a pro. You got to be a pro sometimes. Can't get them with the fuck all the time. But Flamin' Hot Cheetos,

everybody, it's such a fucking, it's so gas station, you know? I feel like a piece of shit when I eat those. When I eat Cheetos, I'm like, oh, it better be fucking 4th of July or something. But Flamin' Hot is a different... It's like, that'll fuck you up. That'll get me for a day, bro. If I have like a lot of Flamin' Hot Cheetos,

like I'm kind of fucked up the next day. Like I can do everything, but like my... It's worse than Taco Bell, you know? You know, you know what I'm saying? It's like, ah, ah, yeah. Damn. Really? Like, I'm always like, it's not going to happen this time. Mm. Sure did. Old Chester. Got me again. Flamin' Hot Cheetos. Who's buying this? Kinda everybody. But honestly, who is just out here buying Flamin' Hot Cheetos? Unless you're this dude. Are people just routinely, like it's fuckin' milk and eggs and bread?

Grab the Hot Cheetos, honey! Who's buying this? Flamin' Hot Cheetos, bro. who's buying this flaming hot cheetos bro what a fucking personality trait let's keep going 1000 my guilty pleasure has got to be eating a twix while drinking a mound dew voltage you're crazy all while taking an ice bath What the fuck? A hard reset? You mean... die? Ice bath is already like already like oh fuck if i've taken ice bath like i think about

it all day like probably like 34 times i'm like fuck gotta do it and then like an hour later i'll forget and i'll be like oh yeah fuck damn it gotta do it like it's just ongoing like I drew the whole day. I'm like oh my god. I can't wait till it's over you like it wait, what do you say with a Twix man a Twix is super ooh Twix are sexy bro even the name Twix you're like Would and you get two of them Twix changed the game, bro. They did two of those bars in there, huh? Remember twix had peanut butter ones for a minute, and they're selling them solo like they were fucking Michael Jackson off-limits Okay, nah, but the twix with the two bro. That's insane even Snickers was like alright Fuck it. We got to break our shit up into two.

Twix has got us in a chokehold. Second time I've used that word. But a Twix? A Mountain Dew Voltage? What color? That's got to be orange, right? That's the orange one. Hey, guys in Mountain Dew. Will you just have sex already?

Make out. Hey, everybody in Mountain Dew kiss Mountain Dew voltage oh it's the blue one the blue one wait I thought that was supernova did I am like low-key I'm like low-key in the Mountain Dew I just don't drink it but if somebody had a Mountain Dew shirt on, I'd be like, where'd you get that? Fuck. Then I'd be ashamed of it a little bit, but I'd like it. Blue Mountain Dew Voltage, a Twix

in an ice bath? Bro, that is... Congrats, bro. You won the guilty pleasure voice message battle. I don't know if there is one, but that's... I don't know if you just made that up, but that's crazy. I might do that shit tonight. Send a picture of your ice bath. Voltage and Twix.

How I unwind. Dude, people are going to be like, we need to arrest him immediately. He gets in the ice bath, opens the Twix, twists the Mountain Dew cap. All of a sudden, open up!

That's wild, bro. You're definitely single. I just saw that it said leave a voice message. But Christmas music year-round is the best guilty pleasure ever. Either you're playing Call of Duty, PC games, driving with anxiety, playing with your dogs. It's so uplifting. And it just really brings you back to your childhood memories

i fucking love you man i gotta stop saying the f word uh that's insane dude i know what you mean because it is some jolly shit but imagine the dead of like summer. Hey, imagine this St. Patrick's day. You're having the time of your life. You pull up to a gas station cause you need gas. Put your car in park, open the door and fucking jingle bell, jingle bell, jingle bell rock. Jingle bell rock. And everybody at the gas station is just like... That would make me uncomfortable if I saw you, bro. I'd be like, wow, that guy's super fucked up. That guy's like...

Whoa. I wouldn't trust you, actually. I'd be like, he's going to ask me for something. I got to get out of here. But, man, if that's what you like, like sometimes that shit's, I know what you mean, though, because I love Christmas, so I think about it a lot. I probably think about it Christmas like four times a week,

no matter what time of year it is. And I'm like, those songs will be stuck in my head, and I'll be singing them and shit, which might make me even crazier. But I get you, bro. I get you. I get you. That's wild, but I'd keep it on the DL. I'd keep doing it, but I'd keep it on the DL because that's weird, man.

He listens to that. Yeah, you know him? He listens to Christmas music like Easter. And shit like that. That'd be kind of like a weird thing. Like if I liked a girl a lot, and I knew... Like I've... I've real...

If somehow someone told me that she listened to Christmas music all year round, I'd be like... Like I like it when people are themselves 100%, but sometimes you gotta dial it back a little bit just to be sane.

Because if everybody was just themselves 100%, like, people would just kill each other and shit. But yeah, it might be a little bit of a turn-off, maybe. Depends, depends. Because, like, what if you got a crush on the girl and she hates Christmas? but yeah it might be a little bit of a turn off maybe depends depends because like what what if you got a crush on the girl and she hates christmas there's a lot of people that hate christmas and you're out here fucking walking through the snow and i want norris albin motherfucking slay on the way to like a nice restaurant laughing all the way she's like

let's keep going my guilty pleasure is going to wait what my guilty pleasure is going to okay there's more hopefully because this this the anticipation sorry my anticipation. Sorry, my dog cut me off. My dog cut me off. Like he was driving a car in traffic and was like... My guilty pleasure is going to Needler's and

buying a specific type of pasta salad and then going to the parking lot and eating it. Destroying it. In silence in my car car it brings me great joy oh my god i cannot that is that's that's hot these guilty pleasures are hot i actually fuck what i said i love all of them i love all these. I think I was talking shit about the Christmas music because I'm that guy too. The fiery Cheetos.

I love them. All this shit is perfect. There's no better feeling than just eating something in total silence in your car. Dude, I'll go to Qdoba. Get a bowl of just who god knows what and just go in my car lock the doors listen to zero music with the heat on full blast even on like a summer day it's just cold because it's 19 degrees in qdoba. You got to get the fuck out of there. You got to thaw out again. Just heat blowing. Looking inside through the windows at where I just was.

Just looking at all the people. And they're kind of looking at me too. Complete sun. No better. Dude, that's got to be top three, dude. Top three. That's therapy for me. Do you do therapy once a week?

Yeah, I do. In the Qdoba parking lot. My guilty pleasure is bathing in honey mustard. That's got to be. No way, bro. Honey mustard is that thing, though. Honey mustard. Ooh, it's such a sleeper.

Sleeper sauce. I was putting mustard on eggs the other day, and it was fire. But I got a lot of hate. I'm telling you, it's not that weird, and it's not that bad. It's in the same family. Deviled eggs. Deviled eggs are all mustard. Everybody that was like, that's disgusting,

put a deviled egg in front of you. You'll fucking, you won't even use your hands. You'll be like, you ever do that with an egg? Me neither. You know what I'm saying, though. Mustard on eggs, bro. That's good It's good

It's like putting mustard on ham It's like Yeah I get it Bathing in honey mustard though A little too much Imagine how soft your skin would be after that Doesn't buy lotion anymore Just buys French's honey mustard.

Let's keep going. Guilty pleasures. Nice topic. I have a multitude of them, but my most beloved would probably be, and unfortunately I can only suffice this during summer months because we live in good old Indiana land, I can only suffice this during summer months because we live in good old Indiana land. But going in my privacy fence backyard and putting my ass to the sun and bleaching my asshole, it costs nothing and I still get that vitamin D.

Is this real? I've seen so many memes. I think if I got completely naked in my backyard and showed my... Oh, how vulnerable would you feel? Dude, if a fly fucking hit my... I would fucking scream and run into the house. Probably break through the glass door. Can you imagine that? Just down dog in your backyard showing the world.

If a plane drove by, I'd be like, sorry. If a plane drove by. Fuck. Because I can't think. Bleaching your asshole. Who even? Like, imagine how rich and bored you got to be to be like, what should I do today today i got nothing to do

might as well just bleach my asshole i've never seen one never seen one asshole in my life what if the first what if the first asshole you saw was bleached and then you saw a regular one you'd be like i gotta i gotta i gotta get the fuck out of here i don't know what is going on you need to talk to a doctor remember the first time you looked at your own asshole top two not two when you went spread legs on the floor in front of your parents full-length mirror and looked under your legs I will never forget that day. I was like holy shit. That's it I was like, holy shit.

That's it? All right. Whatever you say. Holy. Everybody has one? Oh, my God. All right. All right. I'm just never going to look at it again.

Haven't looked since that day. Probably should, but, I mean. It's always girls that want to, like, see it, too. too oh everybody's had a weird girl like bud experience every dude has you know they just like want to fucking and you're like i don't care but i mean i guess if you want to that's how i always like that situation i if he, if you want to, but like, I'm not like do it, but like, this is for you and I'm me. Oh shit. Guys. Asshole. Can you imagine dude? Gross bro. Oh, let's keep going. All right. My friends told me I should do this. So here we go.

Good. My guilty pleasure is... This is about to be fucked up. Making my friends hold toes with me every time we're together. Hold toes? My guilty pleasure is... Making my friends hold toes with me every time we're together. Hold toes.

I don't think that's too weird. I mean, of course I don't. I mean, I don't think it's too weird. Hold toes. No, I don't think that's weird, actually. I mean, obviously. But like I walk like if I'm walking by one of my guy friends and they're chilling, shoes are off, you know, relaxing. Like I walk by my roommate sometimes, and his feet will be up on the arm of the couch,

and I got to go that way to get to my room. And if his sock, just this, is just right there, this is what I do every time. Do I have a hole in my, god damn it. This is what I do every time. I go like this. And squeeze his foot

like he's my long Lost Grandson And you know what his reaction is every time Oh yes Just saying Just saying If you got a homie with his feet up

Fucking smack his foot and fucking choke that thing out, dude. Right in the arch. They'll appreciate you. So holding toes, I mean, I get it. And girls' feet are cold. I'm guessing you're talking about a bunch of girls. I'm thinking three girls are holding each other's toes. You know how warm that would be?

And the pressure. Dude, you don't get foot pressure like that. Shit feels good. Can I be your friend? Just keep going. Hi, Ben. Lots of love from New Zealand. I had to chime in on this one because my guilty pleasure now,

thanks to you, is dumb ass reality TV shows. I was very proud about the fact that I hated that shit, never watched those shows. Me too. Love Island, Bachelorette, blech. And then got a couple of the girls into FBoy Island, you were our favourite. never watched those shows Love Island Bachelorette blech and then got a couple of the girls into FBoy Island

you were our favourite pinched that and now oh my god there's so many on Netflix and they just keep coming up and they're so bad help me

I can't help you but what I can say is hopefully I'm on season three and you watch it. But yeah, dude, I can't even watch reality TV. That's so like, that's such a like a dude, that's such a fucking narcissistic thing to say. Can't watch it unless I'm on it. No, but honestly.

Yeah, FYI, it's the only show I actually know what's happening in it. So that's the only reason. Like, if I watched The Bachelor, I'd be like, Why did she put the temptation on? I'm like, I don't know. But she did. Why didn't he just get too many questions I thought it was trash too but now I'm kind of now I kind of get it now that I see the behind

the scenes I'm like okay but I thought that's why FYI one was cooler than uh all the other ones because it's kind of like you're just fucking around I was was anyway, but... You know, it's kind of like you're just... It's less serious. So thank you for watching that. And thanks for saying I was your fave. It means a lot. Fuck. But yeah.

I don't know how to get you out of that. That's a deep hole to crawl in. Um... that's a deep hole to crawl in um I guess I'd probably be addicted to it too if I actually knew how to work a TV bro I can't if my TV stops working I turn into like your your grandma I'm like I guess I'll be I guess this thing

like I'll sell my TV so I don't know I don't know what to tell you, Shorty. But thanks for watching. My guilty pleasure? Eating hard-boiled eggs in bed. Because my husband hates it. In bed.

Isn't that crazy? Dude, when you get married, you're just trying to fuck with the other person in your relationship i swear to god because my husband hates it dude i don't do that guys wouldn't do that to you you think guys are doing shit to you on purpose because like they're trying to like make you mad no guys just don't fucking know shit and guys just do stuff and they're like, Oh, I didn't know that. Maybe the guys are literally the last thing guys would do and ever try to

piss their lady, like their lady, their girl off. You do that to him on purpose. Eat hard boiled eggs in bed. Wait, do you peel the fucking shell in there? If you're, if you're if you're

because you can't you know sometimes you peel it like a tangerine and you get it all in one peel that's sexy you can't do that with a hard-boiled egg dude if you peel a hard-boiled egg it's like uh it's like a jigsaw puzzle hits the fucking plate, you know? If you're doing that in bed. Hard-boiled eggs are the shit, though. If you haven't eaten a hard-boiled egg right out of the fridge at your house, you need to grow the fuck up. Hard-boiled eggs are good, man. They take a lot of work, though.

I buy that little adult lunchable from starbucks with the two hard-boiled eggs in there and i pop those fuckers in just like it's christmas christmas easter just keep going my guilty pleasure is going high to my office i am high all the time and it's so funny because people doesn't know and I'm just like chilling but high foreign people so

honest love it so much high at the office you know everybody fucking adores her at the office. What a fun person to be around. Just bullets out of her mind, holding back laughs all day.

I would not be able to do it. I would like confess somebody to look at me weird. I'd be like, Oh my God. I never smoked the right amount it's either like I don't really this is pointless or I'm like

I'm hearing like angels cry in my head I'm like rethinking my whole entire life I don't know how you do it at work baby girl props to you holding it together god i could never i wouldn't get anything done i wouldn't take anything seriously talking to somebody high and you just don't give a shit what they're talking about i'd be like

oh man i'd say way too much shit i'd be way too honest let's keep going Oh, man. I'd say way too much shit. I'd be way too honest. Let's keep going. Ha ha ha. Fuck. My guilty pleasure is watching all the shopping channels at like 1 a.m., especially the food because it all looks so good.

And then I think to myself, who's buying this? No shit. You know, my guilty pleasure might be watching infomercials bro the way they make that shit look man who's in charge of infomercials the same guy that's in charge of mountain dew and taco bell bro they have my ass how about that new one with the light? This is so old. I'm so fucking old for this, but like I love, dude, good lighting. If I can't see, I'm like, I don't care. I don't care anymore.

If I'm at a restaurant and it's dark, I'm like, bye. Dude, if I walk into somebody's apartment and all the lights are off and it's cold and there's a movie on, nevertalkintoyouagain.com. But the food channel, the food is good you know who gives a shit about food that much to be watching but uh who's buying this duh but the infomercial there's a light instead of a light but they unscrew screw a stupid ass light bulb and they put this this fucking demogorgon mouth on it and there's a light instead of a light but they unscrew screw a stupid ass light bulb and they put this this fucking demogorgon mouth on it and there's three panels and they're all like the most led shit ever and for a minute i was like it's like buy two get three free i'm like i would put that in every fucking light bulb socket in my house. Bright as hell. Dude, my, my electric bill, I don't care. I've got, that's my guilty pleasure not caring about how much my electric bill is. You're going to keep the TV on when you leave.

I'm like, I'll go to Texas with my TV on. When I come back in the house and there's a tv on and lights are on let's party if I come back in the house it's all dark I'm like I gotta sneak around the corners turn lights on hopefully there's not somebody fucking standing there waiting to kill me I'm like can we just when I walk in the door I need fucking lights all right Bessie so uh I kind of drink seven snapples a day, and just went to the dentist and found out I have nine cavities. So wrong. That's so fucking awesome. Nine, dude, I'm always like, why do I have so many cavities?

Because I do shit like that, too. Seven snapples a day That's so that's so dope. I Love people who just wild out, bro. I do the same shit once I like something I'm like alright. I'll have 14 of them right now seven a day What kind if it's peach tea, swear to god i'll marry you don't even like it just seven of them in the glass bottles imagine just ripping through seven snapples a day she just knows every random fact ever

people are trying to fuck she goes to every trivia night. How are you so good? She's like 19 cavities. No teeth in her mouth. She's like, I don't know. It just comes to me. This shit is so funny. Two more. My guilt pleasure is masturbating while looking at naked muscle men.

Shut up, dude. No way. I kind of believe it, though. Looking through our messages now, and you haven't said anything weird, so... Just pretty good responses. Uh, that's hilarious thanks for being not foreign people

100% honest I'm gonna date a foreign that was our last one end it with a bang damn dude foreign people just don't give a shit I love it I thought he was gonna twist it up and say like mr beating too oh i like it for some reason i thought he was gonna say corn just had it i was just like if he says corn i'm gonna think i'm with him

but yeah dude wow i fucking love you guys. God, that was dope. I almost want to do guilty pleasure part two. I love you freaks, man. I agree with literally everything you said, especially the last guy. No, I'm just kidding. Holding toes, Mountain Dew, ice bath with Twix, bro. I don't know if you guys are fucking with me or not,

but it, I like it. That's it. Yo, espresso shot 49. Thanks for listening. Love you guys. Patreon $5 a month for free episode every week.

An extra episode every day. Benedictmerch.com for all your who's buying this stuff and everything else. Listen to these guys with me and Joey. Love you guys for real. Couldn't do this without you. You guys make my week every week. Can't do anything without you guys, honestly. So thank you for rocking with me.

Got some surprises coming. But I love you guys, honestly. So thank you for rocking with me. Got some surprises coming. But I love you guys for real. I'm not just saying that shit. All right. That was so much fun. Love this pod. Now subscribe on YouTube. Join me on...

No, I'm just kidding. See you next time. I have fam.