Espresso - what's your REAL favorite smell?

Episode Date: October 2, 2025

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He topped it off with a gallon of milk, too, just to make sure it was extra messy in his throat. Cuck. Dude, I swear to God. Cuck. 3, 2, 1. Honey, honey, dun dun dun dun dun dun dun. Oh, this thing's on. Espresso podcast shot 387.

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let's get to the question espresso So question of the week. Been holding off on this one. It's just one of those. It's one of those everyday questions. I don't like the everyday questions. I like the,

oh my God, I never really thought of that questions. Everybody's talked about their favorite smell. You know what I mean? Everybody has one that you say publicly. But what's the real one? Dude, we got some people that just DM, answers for question of the week.

I don't know why. It's just, it doesn't really make any sense, and it's not really fair. And it kind of hurts my soul, but some people just don't leave voice messages because I don't think they know the game. And that's okay. But I had some interesting ones DM'd.

And every time somebody DM something in, I'm like, yo, yo, yo, yo, leave a voice message, please. But they just don't. some dude said baby hair what baby hair I don't know man it's just babies just still

babies smell weird everything smells I don't know I just feel weird smelling a baby I've heard that before too people like smelling babies what's a what's there's something wrong there something doesn't add up with me in that you shouldn't be able to smell babies

this is a little kid here puppy baby hair what's that even smell like just Johnson and Johnson some girl said car exhaust I knew the car stuff was coming I knew we'd get a lot of gas gas is the OG best smell ever my god and some for some reason it's a lawnmower gas smells good maybe because you're seconds away from blowing up your whole entire handoff every time i start a lawnmower i'm like

well i'm going to die but at least the grass will be short just just half of it i'm going to die but at least the side yard will get cut how have i not died three thousand times while cutting the grass. Sitting here at my childhood home, looking in the backyard where we used to cut the grass. Grub City. God, I can remember cutting the grass out there for my first time, and I think my dad made me redo it three

times after that. You're missing spots. What's this? What's this? But I swear to God, in the moment, I was like, yo, I'm killing this. You know, the first time you cut grass, you're like, bro that shouldn't let me out here

the first time you cut grass you're like I might start my own business Benny's mowers like I could just put I couldn't actually try to do this I try to put my lawnmower in the back of my mom's Jeep and just ride around to houses

and cut their grass I made flyers on Microsoft Word 15 bucks a yard come on all because I wanted Madden dude all I need is a little motivation and I'll get it done man

it was just gonna be me and my friend's business I was like yo I got a genius idea made the flyers probably everything spelled wrong on them call my house phone my friend would his mom would bring him over and we'd just cut the yard dude we could put your lawnmower in the back of my mom's Jeep too hand delivering them in mailboxes that's hustling babe

hey didn't get one call I thought I was so good I was missing spots dude I was missing spots yeah lawnmower gas smells good when you prime it I didn't know how to work so I'd prime the lawnmower like 62 times that little red you can hear the gas

I was like pull the cord still doesn't work Jesus Christ gotta get your mom she doesn't know what to do either lawnmower seconds away from blowing up it's fun time God man

I don't think I've cut grass and like all you talk about is grass like literally this is four podcasts in a row All you talking about is grass. I can't stop. I don't want to stop. I'm a...

I'd actually probably... I'd probably pay somebody to cut their grass. Hey, you know what? Here's a hundred bucks. Just let me out there. So let me prime and pull and get running. You know? Let me just...

Let me hit that side yard. How much? How much? Can I hit your side yard real quick? See a little bit uneven terrain. Let me just... Let me just get out there. A guy with a grass fetish.

Please, please, please. On his hands and knees in front of your house. Let me cut it! I won't touch the front yard. I won't touch the front yard. I won't touch the front yard. I'll cut the ditch where you can't even see. Please.

Kind of a good workout. Cutting the grass? I mean, you're getting your steps. You're pushing. Drive, drive, drive. You might as well just start. You might as well just, when you cut the grass, you turn into an offensive lineman

when you think about it. Race hit. Hands inside, elbows tight. Let's go chin up, drive, drive. That's pretty much what you're doing or you're cutting the grass. You're literally insane. It's a good time.

It's a great time. You ever cut the grass when it's raining outside? Ha ha. literally stop talking about grab Holy dot it Does it matter if it's raining or not Nobody's ever told me There should be driver

There should be lawnmower ed Like driver's ed There should be lawnmower ed There should be eds for a lot of things Driver's ed Yeah pretty important There should be like How to self-checkout ed

They should have that class They should have lawn mower clash should be a thing. Because, like, you're just expected to know how to how to operate machinery that can just slice all your limbs off. Yeah, he's 12. Get him on the mower. Jesus.

All right. I'm in, I got bare feet out. I got bare feet and it's pouring down rain. I'm in the bathroom. I'm an idiot. I'm in the backyard, just ripping that thing up and down. Clean lines, babe

I'm starting to sprint because I think it'll work better Like if I sprint with this lawnmower I'm just getting this done quick baby We're not missing grass if I'm sprinting It's pouring down rain I'm like I'm gonna die soon What the hell? Can you cut grass in the rain or not? Nobody knows

nobody cares this is another one DM'd in and we'll get to the messages I promise well you just shut up and get to the voice messages is like the purpose

of the podcast you just keep like ramp shut up Ashley sorry here's another one hot tar oh I've never heard it

I've never heard that God it's so true, man. Oh, my God. You smell some tar getting laid on the side of the road? Oh, yeah. You're in a carpool of people that you don't even know.

Oh, I'm so sorry. It's so good. Why does it smell so good? It's like a relief when you smell it. Because you're like, half the reason hot tar smells good, because in your brain, you're like, yeah, you should have paved that six years ago. I got three flat

tires on this road. You see that, you see that, what is it called? That, like, roller thing? I always want to get under one of them. They always get under them in cartoons and they flatten them out. How come I can't think of the name? I know you're thinking of it right now and you're like, you're literally stupid.

What is it? Heavy. I'm typing this in heavy pavement. Roller to figure this out. God, I'm an idiot. Asphalt roller. That can't be what it's called. What is this called?

It's really called pavement roller? It's really called a pavement roller. I know there's a better name for it. But that thing, bro, when I see that thing on the side of a road, oh. Oh my. God, the way I just want to operate one of those.

Flatten it all out. So level. So even. Nothing like it. Oh, yeah, daddy. Oh, I'm so sorry, guys. Sorry. This is what happens when I smell hot tar. Jumps out of the car, rolls in the tar.

Like a dog. in the cold mud doing snow angels tar angels god still can't think of the name of that thing how about like oh my god

dude how brand new I remember I this pissed me off I remember I was in like eighth grade it's always in eighth grade all right hey it's one of my brain

was the highest functioning it's ever been and I still failed I step but um that's a whole other story that that's a cringe moment when i failed i stepped what's i step shut up i'll get there when i failed i step okay one time my my school thought they were so cool and brand new when they j when they paved the parking lot around the school oh my god you would have thought we had an entirely new facility the whole new school well the pavement well the pavement i'm like how much of that cost a thousand dollars to

pave the parking lot bro they thought they were so cool oh my it was so annoying it did kind of give the whole school a better look though it's like you put makeup on a school you know Ooh, the pavement's black? Ooh, new yellow lines. There's nothing sexier than those parking lines. There's nothing sexier than new freshly painted parking line. I can't talk. There's nothing better.

The new freshly painted parking lot lines on new asphalt concrete. Hot tar. I don't know if it's called asphalt, concrete, I think it is. It's the makeup for the building. It really is, man. That yellow line, and you know what color?

That's not even yellow. That yellow line on the pavement, that's not yellow. It's the exact same color as macaroni gold. That's like a cheddar cheese line. I love those lines. I'm like that like if you don't think

a macaroni every time you see that yellow pavement line I'm like what do you what's your brain where's your head even where you

it's your head together and then the handicap blue bro that's the most electric color I've ever seen popping off that black who

stuff like that gets me hype it's a little things babe it's a little things is this like a pavement podcast? Is this a construction podcast? Pretty much.

And you did like, dude, it's a hot new, brand new pavement. When you're a kid, you find a, man, I remember the school behind our house. I'm looking at it right now. They went all out on the pavement. I'm telling you, just brand new. It felt like when you stepped on it, your foot kind of sunk in. and then it rose back up it was like one of those

mattresses what are they called? God, I can't think of anything right now mattress firm now that's the money laundering place uh, uh mattress, mattress god damn it Temperpetic

oh my God, googled to find that word mattress dial mattress and i spelled mattress wrong both times new pavement it seemed like it was temperate you put your shoe in okay what's your first thought when you see that pavement we got to get some roller blades we got to get roller blades i don't care i don't care what we have to do to go get them or where we have to go i don't care we have to roller blade on this pavement right now. First thing I think of, I think it's the first thing everybody thinks of when they give me a scooter. I need to almost took up skateboarding because the school behind our house got fresh pavement for the summer. Oh my God, what a feeling. Might be the job I would have had in an

alternate timeline. Pavement guy. Tan, construction hat, neon vest, standing on top of a steamroller. Oh, you finally thought of the word? Beep, beep, beep, beep. All summer, I'd have a tribal tattoo. All right, let's get to the voice messages. I didn't even type it in yet. This guy's insane. Oh, we got a lot of them.

We got a lot of them. Mommy likey. Two days ago. Hi, please. Post me and almost lead, I am looking for love of my life. I am gay and it is against my country. They kill people that are gay. Please, I am bottom.

I'm looking for marriage, relationship with a top that is sincere. In Europe or Canada, America, but definitely not in Africa. Please help me out. it is you please note that I am physically challenged I am using wheelchair I really need love of my life please I will give you my email communicates to me through my email please I really need love of my life I am in my 30s I need love please genuine love please help me help me out please I'm begging you I found my type Oh jeez, come on I mean Speaking of handicapped spots

I know where I can park Oh Jesus K Hey It had to be a prank, right? We can do prank calls on here It's fine It's fine I like a little desperation

Not gonna lie Probably Probably Logistically not gonna happen babe But Well desperation kind of hot Not gonna lie It's rooster

Chlorox wipes Fuck yes Stick them in my nose I sniff those all day In elementary school Whoopsies That's why my fucking brain Just leaking out of my ear now

I'm paying the price you ever just feel like you just forget everything ever every time you wake up this whole podcast my bed um and then uh the Pirates of the Caribbean ride in Disney I know guys everyone's gonna stay relax

and everybody wants that is probably what Johnny Depp's armpit smell like just euphoric heaven and they're like oh fuck we gotta put this on the ride it's definitely not what pirates smell like in real life though they probably smell like butthole, but that's fine. You know, they had a hard life.

But, um, tires too. You know, and beer. Beer honestly, some, some beer smoke. Fucking fire that slaps me in my ass. Guinness, a good Guinness. Yeah, guys, it's gross. Guinness is fire. I got it, dude.

That's so funny. What smells good about the Pirates of the Caribbean ride? Oh my God, do you say Caribbean and not Caribbean? What smells so good about that at Disney? Because I know exactly what right you're talking about. It's one of the main memories in my head from 2004. Because you know why? Because I thought we were outside the whole time.

We were inside a building. I was like, oh my God, it's a beautiful night. Those stars are just light bulbs on the ceiling. Dude, I do remember it's smelling like, You know what? It did smell like the water in the pond at a put-putt course. It smelled like that. And I was like,

I can get down with this. Play a lot of pup-pup bag in my day. Was the first thing he said? Chlorox wipes. Yeah, pretty good. I don't know. They smell a little. I associate chlorox wipes with I got to do a bunch of crap.

You know what I mean? I got to do a bunch of chore. I got to clean this whole floor on my hands and knees. So I don't like it as much. By the way, we're ripping through this podcast. We're going. all right benny i got something for you love this guy give me the gasoline smell you're at the gas station and you're just oh just breathing that gas smell in i love it so much i remember telling my mom that

when i was a kid that i loved that smell and she told me it used to be even better when she was a kid when i had lead in it Lead in the gasoline I need that lead bag Put lead back in the gasoline Man, I want to smell that If you're telling me it's better Anyway Another one I got

Oh come on Talk to me dirty Is that smell when There's a home being remodeled Or built Oh new house There's that dusty, chalky You know fresh

Two by four wood And drywall combo smell Give me that inject that into my veins. Give me that smell eight days a week. Chalky. I love it. Anyway, keep doing what you're doing, Benny.

Hope to see you come to Omaha at some point, maybe the funny bone. But yeah, love the show. Bye. God, I love you, bro. Try to do a show in Omaha one time. Sold 13 tickets. Had two weeks till the show, and they were like, hey, bro, we got to cancel. And I was like, don't blame you.

Um, gas, yeah. I knew it was going to come up. We knew. We all know. We all know about gas. But have you ever been such a little freak that you accidentally, accidentally splash some on your hands? So you got gas hands all the way home. Oh, dude, one time, uh, girl, I was dating in sixth grade. Sixth grade. You always talk about literally middle school. It's the best time of my life, Ash. What do you want me to do? uh she she filled on the way to school her dad drove her obviously and she filled up the gas tank like as a sixth grader and got gas all over her hardest thing i've ever smelled in my life oh my god i'm so sorry like i filled up my dad's gas tank this is so stupid and like I got gas all over me and at the same time I was like You've never smelled better Oh my God, that's so weird

That's so crazy I can't believe if you fill up your dad's good Trying to hug her and stuff Like 45 times that day Come here See ya She's like a second period I just miss you

Oh my god Gas is so good Wait, what else did he say? Hold on You like can't remember shot it Two by four wood Oh yeah Oh yeah Oh yeah

Anything Any construction Why does it smell so pure The whole Home Depot That dude that wood wood lane wood alley give me all that home depot candle

where's it at home depot you're supposed to be like the hip hop the hip warehouse hip construction place home depo candle for Christmas doong dong dong dong

don't do don't I love you bro thank you for the kind words I love the smell of a thrift store. I know how good the thrift store is by how stanky it is and I love it.

Yo, I never thought of that. God dang it. What is that mixture of smells and why is it all smell the same? It's the same smell but like different volumes. You're like it smells like dust like a little bit of cigarette

like just people's oh my God. Yeah, it is kind of a good smell when you walk into Goodwill, you're like, all right, this feels, this feels like, uh, it feels natural. You walk into a vintage, oh, yeah, yeah, you walk into one that's like a little too pricey, doesn't really have that smell. You're like, what am I doing in here? What is this is in a thrift store? Those are the Hollywood thrift stores that smell like that. The high end ones, I'm like, this ain't a thrift store, bro. Smells way too good in here. Bro, you walk into a

thrift store in Indianapolis, Indiana on a street where there's police officers at the gas stations you're gonna find some heat why do you keep talking like that? I don't know. You ever just realize like how you really kind of don't remember anything

and your memory is just so fucking bad. Day-to-day memory. And you never really, like, kind of learned anything. I don't remember anything, dude. Does anybody remember anything? Is this how everybody feels? I have to write so much stuff down. Oh, my God.

And all that's in my head. It's my whole life. It's football and, like, movies, probably. Uh-huh. And Benedict fucking Pelosi. Love you. And then, um, dude, I am a proud AMC Stubbs member. So, what's up?

And, uh, I, I, that, yeah, the premiere shit. And, um, It's actually a sick deal because you pay like 25 bucks a month for, like, the Adobe. You can get any format, yeah, of the movie. You can get that Adobe shit, which is already like 26 bucks a ticket anyway without the fucking premier membership. And you can see like four movies a week, which is fire. And that's my therapy. That's what I do for my mental health.

I escape reality. That's a good idea. Did he say the AMC thing? Yeah, true. Is this how everybody feels? I have to write so much stuff down. And all that's in my head is football and like movies probably.

And Benedict fucking Pelosi. I just want to hear him say that again. Dude, I am a proud of AMC Stubbs member. MC Stubbs member? Ah, man. Yeah, I could buy into it. I just don't think there's enough movies coming out to see. there's a good movie

like once every four months maybe that I'm like okay but some of the previews I'm looking at before I see the movies recently I've been going to kind of like scenes of movie I'm like trash

I guess I'd watch it though now that you can bring in whatever you want to the movie theater and they don't even care anything you can bring three full-sized luggage bags into the movie theater

Nobody bats an eye. Yeah, it's a nice place to go though. Yeah, a lot of football in my head. It's everything that's in my head is stuff when I was a kid. Like from 2000, like, from 2012 till now, like, I kind of know, I don't know what I've been doing. I don't know what I've been thinking about. But from when I was born to 2011, I remember everything. Maybe because it was like, it was like more just you live in life rather than like, oh, I got to do all these things now.

Probably kind of sad. Starts crying. Don't judge me, but I would say farm animals shit. Animal shit. It's not even funny. Like, that's it. Like, it's really good. You know?

I'd like somebody walking on the wild side, but animal shit. I don't think so. I can't. I'm trying to think of one animal shit that I would like, and I don't think I do. I just think I'm going to get it on my shoe. Like dog crap might smell.

No, it doesn't smell good. Because every time I think of it, I'm like, is that on my shoe? Does it smell? Doesn't that suck? When do you get dog crap on your shoe and you're walking around? You're like, oh my God, it's definitely on my shoe. Holy shit. Oh, my God.

You feel like such an idiot. You feel like, oh my God. Then you got to scrape it off with like a wood chip from somebody's yard, poop all over your hands. I'm like, what am I doing? That's when you really start questioning your life when you're doing those little things. Scraping poop off your shoe, dude. I've never been so frustrated in my life. Those little things that you hate.

when I'm washing mustard off of a bowl that won't come off I'm like oh my God what am I doing my whole entire life lifting weights

every time I do a rep what am I doing but that's how I feel every time I get dog poop on my shoe which happens at least once a year and it's worse

in the grass too it's just caked on the back of your shoe you might as well throw them away they're never going back to normal you get brand new shoes step in dog poop I'm like those are just dog poop shoes now those are your like grass cutting shoes your shoes get demoted

to grass cutting after you step in dog poop that's where it goes goes to grass cutting and then it goes to these just go in the garage for four years then to the thrift shop that's why it smells like that hmm

you know sure I got a huge with a three be, babe. You ever think about how like vacation time is insane, dude? It's like you gotta work your ass off for like a week's time just to not be able.

Just to spend time with your family. Excuse me, I'm sorry to bother you today. Can I just have a week, a couple days off? Just a couple days. Just come with my family for Christmas, please? And then sometimes your boss can just be like, no. That's crazy.

We need you here fucking sending emails pretending to work in your fucking little cubicle. And then the time that they reject When you're there, nothing's happening, dude. They didn't even need you there. They just rejected it because fucking the Lord only knows why, just despite you. And then you're like, some jobs don't even get vacation or sometimes you just get a week for the whole year. What?

And sometimes you can't even call out. One of my voice, I'm like, yo, just call out. You know what I mean? I'm that guy. I'm like, just call out. We'll do whatever. Fuck it. And then he's like, I can't call out.

I can't call out. I'm like, what do you mean you can't call out? What does that even mean? There's like, no, I have to be at work. I just can't call up. Dick, you can never just have an emergency and not be at work. What's happening? It's true, dog.

It's really weird. I started swerving all my family holidays and stuff because of work. I was like, what do you want me to do? I got to go. It was kind of better to work on, like, December 23rd and stuff. kind of a little secret that everybody already knows but I just figured out because that's how my whole entire life is

oh everybody already knew that okay like if you take off like you can do PTO on the on the weeks that are in the thick of it oh man that's that's the way to go and then keep like your day like December 23rd

before all the holidays because nobody's working then like your workload's like two things because everybody's like, Hey, Christmas. And you're just in the office eating cookies with like one other person that didn't take PTO.

Kind of sick. Kind of sick. Everybody already knew that, but yeah. Oh, what else did you say, bro? What else did you say? The week? For the whole year, what? And sometimes you can't even call out.

Oh, that might be a question of the week right there. what's the wildest reason you called off a work or what did you say when you called off of work I gotta make sense of it a little bit and one time all my friends were hanging out

it was like the Avengers assembled of my best friends in college and they're all coming to my apartment him from you know my best my roommate everybody's home oh he's coming over dude oh those girls are coming Oh my god

Those are like the cool girl Oh no and he's out of town So we have the Everybody could sleep here Like it was just gonna be so sick Like my other roommate was gone So we had like a big open like air It was just so

And I had to go to work at the mall And I was like Oh god I got a 430 to midnight shift All my friends are here Like right now they're here And I'm like getting I'm putting my work clothes on

my work shoes work lanyard in my pocket and i was going to stop off at my my house like my mom's house first before work because i was going to like eat something or something like that i got to my moms and i was like guys don't know everybody said all my friends are hanging out like i really don't want to go to work my mom looked at me and she was like i mean it is a mall job like have you called off before and i was like no and she's like see what they say and i can't lie. So I just called my boss and I was like, yo, Brian, dude, I can't come in. And he's like, what's up? And I was just like, I can't. Like, I just, I can't. He goes, all right, that's cool. Dude, I hump the phone's so fast.

It was a pretty good night. It was a pretty good night. You know, when you go from work, like with your friends hanging out, happy, got to go to work to walking in 20 minutes later, like, Hey, they don't need me. Yeah! Dude, it just gets so much better. They didn't care that much that I came back, honestly, but I did. Everything got a lot better for me. That might be a question of the week.

So I considered a few options here, but I think the clear-cut favorite winner for me is the smell that a good humor ice cream truck used to make. like you would hear that faint jingle in the distance growing up and as it got gradually louder and closer you'd start to get that whiff of the diesel fuel mixed with the sugary sweet treats and it like bottle that up in a cologne or Yankee candle and just let me bathe in it like it's just an instant instant memory trip back to the late 90 summers

like yeah that that diesel fuel mixed with the ice cream. It's just unmatched. I think I didn't like the smell as much. It didn't hit me as much because I knew I could never get any of that any of that ice cream. I was just like, forget that smell, bro.

I don't even want to smell that. You know, you see the ice cream truck? I'm like, I'm not even going to ask. What are the chances, dude? The logistics are too hard to figure out. You've said logistics way too many times on this podcast, but like I got a run in Oh, there's the ice cream truck. I got to run inside. Ask my mom for money. That's going to be a whole thing trying to, where's the, now you've got to find the money. You got to scrape up 35 cents, hoping that there's something cheap enough on that menu. That's 35 cents. Go up to the, and by the time I like get the money in my hand, it's like already passed in my, and I'm like, I don't do it. Now I got to stop this guy. Who is this guy?

I never successfully I don't think I ever approached an ice cream truck I was too scared sorry I got nervous how come you never came up to dude how come I never did half the things in my life

too nervous you never you're supposed to take me on too nervous it's not because I didn't like you or I didn't want it I was just too nervous at the time just cute guy

fuck man he really threw an L in there, didn't he? It's a great word. Let's just think about the word, not what it's associated with. The word cock. God, it's a strong word.

Think of like a rooster or something, you know? So it's not gross, but the word cock. God, dang, it just feels good to say it sometime. Cock! You know? Because it's kind of bad, but it's not at the same time. It's literally a, it's a mascot. It's South Carolina's mascot.

He put a straight up capital L before the CK. C-O-C-L-C-K. Can you say it for me real quick? Yeah, just one sec. Cuck. Why are people doing that? There's so many words people are just random.

throwing ls into you ever hit both I'll take both with an L why calic let me see that oh there's some animals on your farm yeah we got horses we got cows and we have one why dude did he just eat 14 bananas before he left this voice message I want to make sure there's everything in my throat eats three bananas ready to rip cock banana throat

he's got banana throat he topped it off of a gallon of milk too just to make sure it was extra messy in his throat cock dude I swear to God

cock oh the dude hasn't swallowed in three months you know what I want to swallow though cock the smell of cheap metal zippers like the actual zipper itself

but then the whole chain that goes up and down the whole sweatshirt it's like this cheap metal smell but I can't stop smelling it I love you for that God those are the weird ones I like I know exactly what you're talking about but I got to disagree on this because

I know it smells good but it makes makes me think I need to wash my hands now. And I'm like, ah, my hands already smell like an ashtray. Bro, I even walk by some cheap metal zippers. Dude, my hands just smell like a, I held 50 pennies all day. Ew. Disgusting.

Just stuff like that makes my hands just reek. The button on your jeans. I'm like, there we go. I got to bud in my pants, got to wash my hands right after this. Old copper. Yeah, Benny. Old copper finger. Uh, I love the smell of fucking gasoline, bro.

My dog. Gasoline. Filling up at the pump. Take it out. Drip a little bit. Oh, yeah. He knows. He knows the game.

That's the shit right there. He knows the game. That in lumber. The lumber section at lows gets me bricked up. Can't lie. But yeah, and maybe Sharpies too. God, I love that. He is such a dog for that, dude.

Putting a spin on the tap. It's a real talent right here. That's what people say. Oh, my God, you're so talented when you can, like, paint something upside down. When you can, like, sing. You are so talented. This is talent. This is talent right here.

He's two. I'm fine. That's my kind of talent right there. I don't care what you can paint. Do you hear him? You hear him? The subtlety? You hear that?

And maybe Sharpies too. I'm fine. Yes. It's my guy right there. Should be in the Olympics. Sharpies, yes. But if you want to get real dark and dirty, you ever smell rubber cement?

Go to Michael's. pop open some rubber cement, you will start crying because of that. I know my artsy, fartsy people out there now, but for those that don't, bro, rubber cement, we used to have some on deck in our house because I don't know what project my sister is doing. You take a whiff of that, I swear it deletes half of your memory in your brain, but it's worth it. Rubber in a little jar, should be it. I think it, it's like, it smells so good that, like, I don't think it should be allowed, kind of.

The smell behind my ears. Well, how come that's what I sound like all the time, this lady or guy? The smell behind my ears. Dude, that's literally, that's what I say when I wake up in the, in a cold sweat in the middle of the night. The smell behind my ears. I would say that in the middle of the night. the night. I would finally be sleeping next to the hottest

girl and I'd wake up in the middle of night and say that. The smell behind my ears. And she would hear me loud and clear and be like, uh, what? Smell behind my ears. Let's see what we got cooking back here. I worked out

this morning. I haven't taken a shower, so this should be needy. I got nothing. But also can't smell very well, especially stuff like that. fine i'll leave a voice message finally but you gotta you gotta smell frozen cardboard oh like the under side of an ice cream carton this is it i'm telling you you're welcome why does that smell so randomly good uh uh you walk into like a uh free of walk-in cooler

I'm like dude all these boxes there's some some going on I got to know the chemistry with cardboard boxes

why do we kind of just adore them you know why are cats so obsessed with cardboard boxes that

like that's all I really want to know when it boils down to it just like son at the gates any questions

yeah why do cats like cardboard boxes so much and how much peanut butter have I eaten? You don't want to know about like if we landed on the moon or the dinosaurs or like your body or like anything that's happened in the past. How come that didn't work out? No, cardboard.

Explain it all. Mm-hmm. Yeah, the way that, like the, I need to know all the, everything about it. How you fold the box up, the physics, the chemistry. what's it even made out of actually and how come every time my grandpa helped me move and he put a bunch of stuff in a box

and he did that one fold on top or one of the flaps goes in one of the flaps goes over the top one of the other flaps goes in and one of the flaps goes there you got to put the flap under the flap how come that works so well how come that worked better than an actual lid

you know I'm talking about that box top clothes operation that your grandpa did and you're like dude my grandpa hit that I was like I get it save some for the rest of us

Gramps he did the put the flap of the top locked it in I was like yo this guy gets bitches dude

I get it okay all right don't do that around my girl I swear you close a cardboard box without tape around my girl hey not my girl anymore

she's yours you know I'm talking about like it took me like 12 years to figure it out I didn't do it for like three months forgot how to do it whatever that is it's the sexiest thing a man could do easy

the fresh smell of a welding factory it's just when you walk in it's just in your nose and it's like ah I think I liked you more than what you said, you know?

Easy. The fresh smell of a welding factory. God, he sounds... It's just when you walk in, it's just in your nose and it's like, like, ah. I don't think I've ever walked in a welding factory.

Man, those guys got to really put on, like, a whole entire suit to weld. Yeah, you know it smells good. If they're wearing a whole face mask, I believe them dude anybody that's foreign I just automatically believe

I feel like they don't lie as much as like just American people am I like so off about that am I getting played right now before like that guy is I guarantee he's the most genuine person in the world just by hearing that

just keep on what up dude that's signature style right there he's got it 13 voice messages voice messages in I finally realize dude

when you hear this you're about to hear some facts ready so the smell that what up so the smell that highly

satisfies me is you know when you go to the dentist and you're about to get your teeth cleaned oh my god and they use that like power drill

electric toothbrush that smell when they dipped that little toothbrush like in whatever flavor you want either bubble gum or mint and they start brushing your teeth you get this smell of like electrical with like minty or like bubble gum and like that electrical battery smell mixed with that little scent dude i don't know but i i like it you know you can probably

replicate it by a electric toothbrush it might not be as strong because that you know toothbrush at the dentist is like super powerful but the electric smell with the little minty smell and you can taste it and smell it that's just satisfying man for a minute I thought you were going to talk about

the smell when they drill into your tooth now that is a smell I can't describe maybe that is what you're talking about when they drill into your tooth and it smells like it's burning a little bit but I'm like what is that smell that's like bone that's like the bone smell inside my rotten tooth

I think my teeth smell like crap because you have Gerd okay we got we know I had Gerd actually it came up a couple times during this podcast all right I had a really bad situation with the fluoride treatment one time got nervous in the dentist's chair

first time I was 14 didn't know what to do with all the fluoride and so I didn't know you gotta be kind of like like you gotta be there a couple times you gotta be a vet at the dentist to know how to suck it and you know

you gotta get kind of good at that with the water and then like I'm a pro now I swear they nobody I don't think anybody sucks better than me at the dentist don't think so hit me with the water I'm good dude I'm like it's like a pit crew in my mouth now

but the first time I went didn't know what to do didn't I didn't want to ask I didn't take I didn't take dentist ed how am I supposed to know what to do with the floor you know no one's telling me any of this stuff so I just swallowed all the fluoride I guess you can swallow this stuff right

it's a dentist you're not going to kill me I was like okay cool I guess that's what it is right had a basketball game an hour later never never felt more sick in my life dude on the way to the basketball game head out the window like a dog because I thought I was going to throw up at every red light

slobber just streaming on the car behind me I don't know sorry I just I just swallowed a paint can worth of fluoride yeah About to play the A team over here at Beach Grove. Yep. We'll see how it goes. Every red light.

Gasoline. It's like pumping gasoline at the gas station. One more gasoline. I take off all my clothes. One more. Here we go. And we've got four more voice messages. Pretty good odds.

With perimenopals, your buddy order changes. And I've become obsessed with my new boob sweat smell. I love foreign people. I just know she's being serious. Dead serious. Boob sweat. What's a body? What's some body stuff that I kind of actually like to?

That's really gross. um it's it is it is sweat uh you know dogs have a point when they start licking your legs and stuff because one time I was sitting down I just let my dogs have it going to town on my legs sandpaper tongue and I was like what does he like so much

did I like run through a field of maple syrup or something why is he licking my legs this dude he was dude so much salt And I think I licked my leg one time after I, like, went running or something. And I was like, I mean, kind of tastes like a little treat. I'm not going to lie, I'd be licking legs, too, if I was a dog. But he wasn't stopping, bro. It was actually insane.

Dogs will do anything for food. That's the only reason they love you. My bad. Why did I say that? It's the only, it's the only reason they like you. Dog's brain. Food, food, food, food, food, food, food, food, food. dog sees a fly food food food food food food food dog sees you maybe she'll give me food

they don't actually love you sorry so weird why do I say that I love it haha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha oh the shit this thing's gone this guy, man. Bro, the All-Stars are back on. We got the stars in for the pod. It's your boy. Delta 88 from the passing your seat.

Love it, dude. Last time you left this podcast, I was sitting right here. Love it. I said, last time you left this voice message. I'm an idiot. Three weird smells I have. Not one. I got three for you.

I had to leave you a voice message for this one. Yep. I know you got them. The first one, gasoline. I love the smell of gas when I'm pumping it or I'm sitting in the car and somebody else is pumping gas. Just something about it. I don't know, man. I love the smell of gasoline.

Secondly, talc. I don't think that's a weird thing. I think, you know, going to the barbershop, especially back in the day, getting a nice scissor cut from, the barber when I was in grade. Three, three weird smells I have. Not one, I got three for you. I had to leave you a voice message for this one. The first one, gasoline.

I love the smell of gas when I'm pumping it or I'm sitting in the car and somebody else is pumping gas. Just something about it. I'm completely. I don't know, man. I love the smell of gas. gasoline. I'm naked. Secondly, talc. I don't think that's a weird thing.

I think, you know, going to the barbershop, especially back in the day, getting a nice scissor cut from the barber when I was in grade school and he would sprinkle that talc on the brush and then brush me off. Yep. Man, that smell was so good. And the last one, now this might be a little bit weird, but this takes me way back to when I was a kid growing up in Philly in a row home where, you know, there were 25 houses attached to each other.

Yeah. And you basically shared one big-ass roof. Single mom house. But the smell of tar, I would wake up in the morning and I could smell the tar. The tar truck would be outside with a trailer where the tar was in there heating up. And it would just be covered in tar. The whole thing would be black But that smell, man

I don't know what it is It just takes me way back to when I was a kid But there are my three off the top Off the top Happy to call in again Looking forward to calling in more Been catching up on all the pods bro Loving the pod as I always say

Next time you're out in the East Coast man Philly New York area You know let me know Let us know would love to come out with the wife and see you. We're big fans, as I always say. Keep crushing it and looking forward to the next one, brother. I love you, dog.

Guy means so much to me. That's a real fam right there. Oh, yeah, I'm naked now because that's a 19th person that said gas. I knew it was going to happen. It happened. We're here. Is this what happens? It's part of the game.

Part of the game. hot tar fire i always want to know like every time i get a haircut i'm like what is talc talc no one ever talks about it i always see the product on the counter of the barbershop guy and he uh never uses it i just read it the whole time you know when you're like getting a haircut you're just like looking at stuff for like way too long i'm like i looked at this bottle of talc for 10 minutes no idea what it was never uses it is it what they clean the stuff with because there is some shop spray that they disinfect their

clippers with that that smells like home bro it's almost one of those that you can't replicate either I sprayed on my clippers sometimes after I like trim up a little bit and I'm like I'm cheating it right now

like it's just I should only be able to go to the barbershop to smell this that that is a that's an A1 answer right there Let's keep gone. Okay, so this is going to be so weird and so random. But, I mean, I guess that's what you're looking for. I like it already. I like the smell of my earwax. Yeah, me too.

It's not your typical earwax smell. It's very, like, strong. And I don't know if that's okay. I actually plan on getting it looked at because it probably shouldn't smell like that. But I do like, like, it brings me, like, I don't know. just satisfying to me it's a strong smell like my ear wax you know it's it is green it's so strong i am going to get it looked at you know as i said however i just i wouldn't want to lose that smell um but yeah i like the smell of my earwax i thought i was the only one and i know you've

tried to eat it before i know i know i know i know it's gross you're literally discussing what the hell is this you got to smell it though if you're not smelling your ear wax like what kind of person are you you just go you just walk around with your eyes closed too you you take a cute you know you haven't been in there in a while you swab it out it's caked who put honey on my cue tip oh my god that came from me can't blame that on anybody right there that's all you babe that's a you problem i i've got the strongest smell it dude there's something going on with my earwax been saying it for years i need to get my ears cleaned out maybe i'll put on my christmas list

just put a suction thing in my ear i want to see them scoop it out of there it was my whole ticot algorithm for like a year don't know what happened but i want it i want it bad okay hear me out they have to be clean like right out of the shower but belly buttons i've never met anybody who else who's admitted to loving that that smell Belly buttons I only like it because I associate it with the sensation of cleaning out your belly button

what is that somebody explain that to me cleaning out your belly button with a Q-tip and hydrogen peroxide sorry I have to excuse myself you can't be in their same room as me when I clean out my belly button dog I'm sorry cleaning out your ears and your belly button

should never feel that good that's some kind of little I think if you cleaned your ears and your belly button out at the same time your body would take a screenshot what is it oh my god you hit that spot in your belly button

I'm like that should not feel like that I'm too old I'm too old my belly button should not be that sensitive I have a baby's belly button But yeah there's always that one little like spot in there And your belly button that you like can't get you got like wrinkle up your stomach a little bit And like kind of like bubble it out And like you're playing with the skin around it just to get that one little spot

And then you hit it Nothing's ever felt that good Hey Benny Jared here Remember the clubhouse I have a listener of the espresso pod I think the question It means a lot smells that are gross but you actually

like? Maybe. Guy who has no clue what the talking subject is every week but still calls in. Okay, I think I might be the 49th person that's going to say this, but I love the smell of gasoline.

Ew! Gasoline literally smells like shit. You're a disgusting pig. Wait, shut up, Ashley. Stop flirting with me. I love this guy. Okay, anyway. Spills like shut. The only question I have is station now that I love to smell of gasoline.

Can I see a tough? Let's do this stuff. Yeah, that's what I'm talking about! That is the epitome of my whole entire brain right there, that whole voice message. Gas, what, five times and I'm naked, hey. Just unplug the headset I guess we can do this All right I got 10 minutes and I gotta leave

And we're gonna rip the cringe moment of the week We're gonna keep this quick We gotta get this done So when I first started Coo Coo Cringe moment of the week When I first started stand up but I didn't know what to do. And I was like,

I got to like listen to stand-up of comedians because I got to figure out how to do this. So I'd listen to stand-up comedians the whole entire day and paint these pictures behind me. And we had a big white wall in my old apartment. I was like, something needs to go on this wall.

So I just started painting. Bought a bunch of canvases from Michaels. Smilled the rubber cement when I was there. Oh, yeah. And, yeah, painted them. And slapped them on the wall. felt kind of proud of myself. They're actually on Benedictmerch.com for a little bit

and you could buy them. Made them way too expensive. So poor. A couple years later, they're still on the wall, added a few more, you know? They started looking good. It kind of made my apartment pop off a little bit. Kind of felt good about my apartment.

Never been that guy before. That was proud of his apartment. Having the ladies over my apartment. Not ashamed. Having the friends over. Yeah, come over my apartment. We would have like pregame. He lived like rape in the bars.

Can we like come up? I'd be like, but you'd never ask. I painted eight murals for you. Slapped him on the wall. They were looking good. Had this one girl over one time. She came up,

having a good time, blah, blah, blah. Smilled her earwax. And we hung out like after that. And she was like, you know, the first time I came. came over here, I noticed these paintings. And I was like, you know, yeah, waiting for my compliment. Yeah. Uh-huh. And she's like, I thought you were a little autistic.

Ah, she wasn't joking. She was like, if I, like, had a kind of an autistic guy's apartment right now. Oh! Yo! Because there's no, there's no method to the madness with these paintings behind me. They're just like, uh, you okay? Was she wrong? Absolutely not. All right, let's do days of the week. Thursday. National Smarties Day. Smarties day? It's got to be the worst candy. You can't tell me, do you remember you'd get smarties in like first grade when you got a question right on Friday? Let me eat a piece of chalk. There's never, ever, nobody for the life of them has ever selected and just picked out smarties to eat in a lineup. They're always, it's always, it's elementary school candy, poor kid, it's poor kid candy.

Poor kid's school candy. You can't make them good. They're the same thing as those neco, neco tabs. I'm like, what? This is Army candy right here. Name your car day. I mean, I hate everybody that names their car,

but I can't lie. Every girl I've ever dated has a name for their car, and I'm just like, here we go again. You're one of those. All right, I've got a type. What's your type? Girls that look like Chipotle bags and name their cars. I'm going to kill myself.

Friday. body language day I think as you get older you really start to notice your own body language and you can't believe people are still doing body language stuff

like when someone's talking to me and you like zoom out of the conversation for a little bit they do so many things that just tell you what they really think it's amazing hey boys

bro if a girl ever fixes her hair when she sees you I mean kind of kind of say something because that's like the first like let me make sure I look good thing and I've noticed it and maybe I'm up my ass check me on that but uh that is a thing for sure and dudes don't touch your face Jesus Christ anytime I don't know what I'm talking about on stage or like lose my play or I'm like what was I was going to say something I started

touching my cheek and start itching my face it's just a dead giveaway that you're a dumbass Saturday Cinnamon bun day I haven't had a good one in a while um Cinebon's been on my cheat day list for like the last three times just haven't made it over there

too obsessed with the Cinebun cheesecake haven't got the real Cineabon yet uh play outside day that's just cutting the grass dude playing outside as an adult just whacking the weeds babe

mhm pulling cleaning up the apron what do you call the grass if you're in a subdivision or a neighborhood the grass between the street and the sidewalk you know what I mean

that's not your yard but it's like kind of your yard my dad called it the apron probably the only word that he's ever said that I agree with him on Sunday Do something nice day

Apple Betty Day Do something nice day We are being nice What's Apple Betty This is so funny that I'm doing this naked Because I just know my dad's gonna walk in any second My dad comes to this house

When I'm doing the most awkward stuff And it made me think Maybe I'm always just doing awkward stuff dude i swear i've run this story before i was doing the girls in the summer video you know i used to do this all the time i look in the camera and act like a girl and just say like 10 things associated with summer that girls love picnics sunflowers taylor swift vacation and in the last one i like made it really weird and i dressed up i got in a wedding dress sweaty flower crown my head, parked in my driveway horizontally because of lighting. Looked at the phone,

weddings, weddings. Right when I turned my phone off, wrapped, I get out of the car, soaked in sweat, my dad pulls up. Cringe moment of the week. Another time, I think I was dressed like a gay construction worker doing an interview in one of those job interview videos. My dad walks in the front door. I'm construction. shined out. Probably have a thong on. Cringe moment of the week. Right now doing a podcast Naked. What's up? I'd tell them to come over here and slide for a little bit. Applebeddy

traditional American dessert made by baking spiced apples. I love spiced apples with layers of sweetened buttery bread or flour crumbs. See, that's that once every four years dessert. you're not getting up you're not Apple Crisp just doesn't happen anymore for me like there's no scenario for the rest of my life where I'm going to be eating Apple Crisp

there's not there's uh like it doesn't happen on Christmas nobody's making that how come I had it so much when I was a kid because all I used to do was go to buffets with my dad and there's some dessert that might be kind of a move if you just want some

dessert one night. You hit up a Golden Corral just for the dessert town, the ice cream machine. How come that ice cream machine's never out of biz? McDonald's, huh? Ice cream machine at Golden Corral has been working since 1998. You just, I just, there's never any opportunities to get Apple Crisp anymore. It's kind of like banana bread. You hit a certain age, you're just not eating that stuff anymore. It's a shame. Peaches and cream. Those are, specialty desserts that you only like your mom makes every every once in a while starts crying

calls his mom apple crisp with the ice cream on top dude and I'm talking about there's way more crisp than apples like and the apples are spiced yeah and they're like kind of like mushy no you don't get it ash see you don't get it they're like real soft but I'm telling you the crisp out is just 70% of the dish so much cinnamon it's like you're just so much crisp in your mouth there it's like you got a mouth full of wood chips and then you haven't even tasted the ice cream yet oh do the ice cream with apple Chris, it's just I just don't know

you can't just buy it you got somebody's got to make it and they got to make it with those proportions give me some apple crisp I don't even know if it's possible all right fam lit pod

you guys did your thing thank you I got a goal hitting goal Um, voice message next week, voice messages, uh, question of the week. What'd you do when you called off work that one time? Maybe, maybe. I don't know. But thank you so much. Gasoline. Never forget it.

But I love you guys. Keep listening. Keep subscribing. Tell the homies, it's going to blow up. I know it. I know it. Hey. Passed it. look look at what we're building right now thank you guys so much

yeah I'll see you next time