Espresso - worst breakups

Episode Date: October 15, 2020

This week Ben breaks down the fam's WORST breakup stories (some are rom-coms and others are 100% psychotic). He has an intense realization that Apple Fritters, Chicken Dumplings and Cheese Curds were all named by the same exact guy lol he dives into why staying hydrated is a conspiracy theory Ben goes #Viral and does #DaysOfTheWeek but you already knew that 😉 𝘿𝙈 𝙤𝙧 𝙏𝙬𝙚𝙚𝙩 𝘼𝙉𝙔 𝙦𝙪𝙚𝙨𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣𝙨 𝙛𝙤𝙧 𝘽𝙚𝙣 𝙩𝙤 𝙖𝙣𝙨𝙬𝙚𝙧 𝙤𝙣 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙥𝙤𝙙 ! >>>> 𝗗𝗼𝗻'𝘁 𝗙𝗼𝗿𝗴𝗲𝘁 𝗧𝗼 𝗥𝗮𝘁𝗲 & 𝗥𝗲𝘃𝗶𝗲𝘄! <<<<< 𝗨𝗽𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗦𝗵𝗼𝘄𝘀: Wed 10/21 Helium Comedy Club 𝗣𝗲𝗿𝘀𝗼𝗻𝗮𝗹 𝗦𝗵𝗼𝘂𝘁𝗼𝘂𝘁𝘀: https://v.cameo.com/E48BXekQ29 𝗧𝗶𝗸𝗧𝗼𝗸: https://www.tiktok.com/@benedictpolizzi?source=h5_m 𝗬𝗼𝘂𝗧𝘂𝗯𝗲: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCXRwNZpU67AK24r5QGfIfCw 𝗜𝗻𝘀𝘁𝗮𝗴𝗿𝗮𝗺: https://www.instagram.com/benedictpolizzi/ 𝗧𝘄𝗶𝘁𝘁𝗲𝗿: https://twitter.com/benedictpolizzi

The Espresso Podcast is brought to you by Wave One Media. If you want to start a podcast, visit thewaveone.com. Dude! That's a little baby in the background. Did you just bring up one of your home videos growing up? Malik, do you want some oatmeal? Malik, do you want some juice? Malik, do you want some applesauce?

All right, all right. All right, yo. Espresso shot 128 in the wave one studio on market street what's up what's good that's a new way we're gonna do intros i guess well he picks a song from his childhood and we just go in on what was that called though honestly uh ten toes down it was a challenge like a couple years ago if you remember i don't know it was down challenge like a couple years ago, if you remember. The 10 Toes Down challenge. You made that up. I did not.

The title's like Halloween 1997. VHS. All right, so shot 128. We got a good show. Let's see what happened. What's been going on? Oh, shows last week were good. We talked about that a little bit. Had a show in St. Louis. Well, not really. Me and one of my homies, Joey Bender, went out to St. Louis and the show was at seven o'clock and we got stuck in traffic for four hours.

in my life and we just started like so nothing like we got we started moving again at 10 o'clock and the show was over so I don't know the whole entire time we just like played football and stuff so that show never happened we just played we literally played sports in traffic the whole entire time on the way up there but that never happened show on Thursday was good at Metazoa it popped off there were like 700 dogs in the crowd. They were like heckling me, but I can't even handle like a group of human hecklers. I don't know. It's hard for me to contain like a pack of dogs just barking during a show the whole time. It was the weirdest experience of my life, but it was good.

It ended up being good. Dog, what? You know that video that just went viral about the dog face dude drinking the ocean spray? You know, have you guys not seen that? I haven't seen it. Shut up. No dog face video that I've seen. The guy that's like drinking ocean spray and like that song's in the background.

No. You guys haven't seen that? I know what you're talking about. He's pulling it up. Pulled up. Pulled up. Oh, you haven't seen that. I've seen this.

How else could I have explained that for you to be like, oh, yeah. I don't know. I don't think there's anything you could have said that would have brought me to oh yeah i don't know i don't think there's anything you could have said that would have brought me to this dude play this real quick this is is this the most viral video like of all time i can't play because it's copyrighted we can play without sound though all right you guys know this video though i'll just sing the song no i don't know the song hit it what do you think he's what do you think he's that's all the whole time i've been watching this video i'm trying to figure out what he's like what is he is he on a skateboard

i mean i feel like he's on a boosted board like what's that like an electronic board where it's just like automatically powered yeah it's way too he's not he's not putting in any work he's just going what if he's i think he's going down a hill though maybe that's that's a good question it makes me think he has like one of those one of those like boards with the ball in the middle have you seen those like just with the one tire i hate those so much i don't know man uh but, so he got like a, I think he, I think Ocean Spray gave him a car for that video going so viral. I don't know.

It's ridiculous. But that's all I saw all weekend. What else? It's LeBron. LeBron won his fourth. Did I realize last night that like I was looking in the mirror and I have the exact same hair as LeBron James look at this this is the reveal of my hair

after four months after getting a transplant dude I swear to god I have the exact same hair as LeBron James right now is it my right or not it's not as bad oh really shit as bad I don't know yeah it's my mom's birthday Shit as bad. I don't know.

Yeah. It's my mom's birthday. What else is going on? No, seriously. It's my mom's birthday today. Happy birthday, Mrs. Polizzi. Everybody say it. No, say it in your heads real quick.

Happy birthday, Mrs. Polizzi. Hey. I always forget parents don't care about their birthdays at all. When you say happy birthday to your dad or something, what does what it's almost like they get mad and I know yeah I was like oh it's my mom's birthday I better be all sweet and nice and stuff she didn't even text me back I don't know dude what about like when people sing to you on your birthday is that like the is that like the most like why do people want that i don't know that's so cringe when people do that i think it's like they just assume that it's like the thing to do but like everybody if like you were to actually like ask each other whether we want to do this i would be like no

like the person that starts it that's the person i hate and i work at a restaurant it's always somebody's birthday and it's always a lie. Like, you know, when you just say it's your birthday at a restaurant so you get something free. It's like, I have like 15 birthdays a day. They always want me to sing. How do you know that they're a lie? Because everybody just says it's their birthday at a restaurant so they can get like a free ice cream sundae or some shit. Every time. But yeah, so happy birthday, mom. Okay. Let's get into this.

Uh, I put a story on Instagram, your best or worst breakup. Um, so, all right, let's go best or worst. Have you guys ever had like a crazy breakup with anybody? Not a crazy one. No, just like a mutual, like where it kind of made sense. You know what I mean? Yeah. But it never really does though. Or that's what the, that's what the girl says. Okay. Here we go. This is Megan Sinito. The guy told me, Megan Sinito, what's your worst, best or worst breakup story? The guy told me he wasn't really into women three months into the relationship. So she was just like a test run?

Like she was experimental? Guinea pig. Okay, that's okay. That is kind of, yeah. Having a girl say that to you. Actually, I would probably like that. If the girl's like, yeah, I'm kind of into girls. I'd be like, all right, see ya.

But that's cool. Thank you. I like you more. Okay. Best or worst breakup stories. Tommy Iyer. breakup stories. Tommy Iyer.

A girl I dated in high school purposely bought me the wrong size clothes for Christmas and said she was going to return them for the right sizes. She broke up with me the next day and kept my gifts and returned the clothes for her money back. Diabolically evil? Yes, but I respect the hustle. Dude, that's a lot of work for like 60 bucks back on clothes.

I'll be too lazy to take those. That's a lot. That doesn't even make sense to me. Purposely bought me the wrong size clothes for Christmas. Kept my gifts. Every time a girl, like you break up with a girl, do they give you all your stuff back that you gave them? Or do they keep it?

They keep it usually, I think. I'd say they probably keep. If it's expensive, then I'd probably want it back, if it's expensive, then I probably want it back. But it's not. Every time I've ever broken up with a girl, I always, or like it just, I never like break up. Like we're breaking up. It's always just like, I guess we're not doing this anymore.

There's never like a hardcore like line. Yeah. Every time that happens, I always end up with like a trash bag of like clothes on my doorstep the next day does that has that ever is that a thing is that like a movie thing like a trash bag of all the stuff i movie thing but that's happened to me three times and one time there's a balloon on it i was like god damn it a balloon like attached to the trash bag on my doorstep my roommates were like yo you got a gift you got a present present? I was like, from who? I was all happy and shit.

Yeah, it was kind of funny. All right, here we go. Mads, worst or best breakup you've ever had? I got blacked out at a friend family function on our anniversary and went off on him. And went off on him. I'm in front of everyone about how I was treated like shit, unappreciated, and then went off on his family too. Woke up alone at his parents' house and

he broke up with me over text messages. I got blacked out at a friend family function on our anniversary. It does seem like every time girls are trying to make a point of something, they do it in front of the biggest crowd of all time. Oh, yeah, they'll wait. What is that? It's like, do you have to do this at a party every time? Yeah. Woke up alone at his parents' house and broke up with me over text messages.

I feel like breaking up over the text messages is honestly the way to go. Oh, yeah, of course, of course. It's like standard not to, but it's like the easiest way to do it. It's like how it initiates. You're like, I don't want to do this anymore, and then bam, you're like on the phone or on FaceTime

or like in person. Breaking up in person, I don't know. How did you break up with your girl? In person. What did you say, dude? In the car. We took like a break from each other or whatever for a month. And then we came back to each other and we're like, yeah, it's probably best that we just.

It was mutually fine. Yeah. But no, I feel like if both people kind of like, if it's kind of like a known thing that like we're going to break up, then like just text would be like the best way to go. But if like, if they don't know, then I would say in person would probably be better. Like the other person doesn't know that you're about to break up with them. Just surprise the shit.

Surprise in person. I don't know. Okay, here we go. Lex Kardashian. Worst or best breakup story? My ex-boyfriend broke up with me on my 27th birthday over text messages. Okay. We're good so far, dude.

Good job. We had dinner plans, and he canceled one hour before because i asked him to pick me up on the way to dinner he texted me he couldn't do this anymore so i'd that sounds so familiar who is this guy so i so i had sex with his best friend just kidding oh damn it dude but i did go to dinner and then to the bars and had a great time that's the most evil thing of all time if a girl were to actually do that to your best friend i guess you're not best friends if the other dude's gonna have sex with your ex-girlfriend but canceled one hour before because i asked him to pick me up on the way to dinner.

Yeah, he had a little freak out. That's a normal guy thing. I love how this podcast is just like the relationship podcast today. Okay, Bailey Ransberg, best or worst breakups. In high school, a dude put Oreos in my locker with a note that said, Happy one month.

I can't wait for Morio. I thought this was breakup stories. I think so, too. And that freaked me out, so I broke up with him after school. Oh, there we go. Happy one month. I can't wait for Morio. Oh.

Dude, I don't know. It's cringe. It's cringe cringe but it seems like a girl wouldn't a girl like that depends on which oreos they are like double stuff okay who even eats the single oreo like the single the normal regular og oreo dude even worse than that is thins imagine getting thin oreos like at that point why are you double stuff i'm just normal dude why you don't like that you think it's too much i've never had a double stuffed oreo you're missing out man are you from mars dude you've never you ever had mega stuff dude to see that that's crazier than the

regular one mega stuff is like you got a problem like thin oreos i'm cool with because you're like trying to lose weight and stuff but mega stuff you love those oh i don't know i'll make it stuff's too much but you just look like a mega stuff guy me yeah you look like you'd have a glass of milk and a mega why just because i have this thing right here i'm sipping on a full family coffee i always forget that that's the weirdest thing ever i'm like walking downtown with it flipping it around and shit okay okay here we go kelly best or worst breakup stories this guy told me he was making chicken and dumplings. First of all, what is chicken and dumplings? I don't understand.

What's dumplings? I don't understand them. I don't understand what they are. And I've eaten them before. Let's see it. It's just like some type of bready pasta like i don't even know who names the dumplings dude are those mashed potatoes okay we got a picture pulled up chicken and dumplings

so where's the dumplings and why would you ever call it dumplings i think i have no clue what's up hey i think i have that hoodie matt toopy in the house dude yes we're still waiting on a picture of dumplings dude i didn't recognize i got forever did you not know who he was no no i didn't at all it seemed like you didn't know who was the whole time until the last second oh yeah uh dumplings is a biscuit dough people neon gatorade lemon lime best gatorade honestly okay what were you saying uh the dumpling is a biscuit dough that's what i was saying it's some type of bread it's a biscuit dough. That's what I was saying. It's some type of bread. It's a biscuit dough. That's why I thought you said that

until I really read D-O-U-G-H. I thought you were like, it's a biscuit dough. What's a dumpling? It's a biscuit. Do people make chicken and dumplings? That's a real family ass meal. We're having chicken and dumplings tonight.

They'll get dumplings on the side. Ew, dude. Did your parents make that for you when you were a kid or did your parents make the same thing for you every night my mom had like five different meals that were really really good and she was just like scared to go out of her comfort zone and make something else so we just like damn frying your mom no but the but the five were good though. What were the five fire meals? Enchiladas. Ooh. Pizza. Just ordered it? No, no.

Vegetable soup. That was fire. What are the two other ones? Tacos. And then the fifth one. Oh, fettuccine Alfredo. She really had pot. What about you?

My mom was real good at spaghetti. The easiest thing to make the first. Dude, fuck no. My mom was real good at eggs. Spaghetti. She was good at making cereal. No, I'm just playing. Oh, she's real good at making breakfast. for dinner yeah or just i'm still hooked on bread that's the most like basic thing of all time

but i still love breakfast for dinner every now and then i asked for that for my birthday yeah dude my mom just made chicken and pasta like bang bang every single time did you ever get tired of it hell yeah but i still eat it to this day dude grilled chicken i was like i would pray for like fried chicken but it never happened the most fried chicken i ever had was my mom one time on grilled chicken put rice krispies on it i swear to god that was like our version of fried chicken isn't that crazy when you're eating grilled chicken over and over again and then you get fried? That doesn't even make sense.

No, it doesn't. That taste in your mouth. Alright, we're going to the general messages. Okay, Jay Hubble. Best or worst breakups. Met in a parking lot. Broke up with her. She goes to start her car and it's completely dead

i get to awkwardly jump her car she continues to cry super uncomfortable damn see i in that situation i'd be like i don't really know how to jump your car like what do people still ask you for jump like for a jump does that? Has that ever happened to you? It's always in the worst scenarios. Malik, bruh. I needed a jump at a gas station, and then the police came up to the car next to us and had a full-on drug raid on the car next to us.

I was like... And then at the very end, once they were wrapping it up, I had to ask the police officer for a jump. I was like, the DA's there? I'm like, they were wrapping it up, I had to ask the police officer for a jumper. I was like, the DA's there? I'm like, you guys got a jumper? Do cops do that though? Oh yeah, he definitely helped us out for sure. So cops just had, I guess to get away from that problem, you just stop carrying around jumper cables in your car.

That's a good way to fix that. Why the fuck? I guess, but you need them though if you need it. What if somebody else doesn't have them that is trying to jump your car? You need them, though, if you need them. What if somebody else doesn't have them that is trying to jump your car? Sometimes, like, when somebody asks me, I feel like they can just tell I'm lying when I say no. Is that your dad? What's up, dude?

Where's he going? Where are you going? Oh, your truck. Lame. All right, cool. Isn't that with, like, a lot of things, though? Like, somebody will ask you for like a dollar and like they know you have a dollar dude every homeless person just stares into my

soul and i'm like no i mean i'm good dude the same people ask me homeless people they have like the most short-term memory ever i'll walk by a homeless person twice they'll ask me the same thing and get mad twice if you turn around the block and come straight back they'll ask you the same exact thing i guess they are homeless for a reason though all right sam dugall best or worst relationships i've okay that's not even god damn it he goes i started listening to espresso it's so relatable all right all right luke santa vika best or worst breakups she hated which eventually led to the breakup that i was the freaking best at everything and beat her in everything no way was i ever going to let her beat me in mario kart or mini golf on purpose winners onlyners only here.

Dude, when you're playing a girl in something, do you let them win or you just beat the shit out of them? It's no different for me. It's just another game. It doesn't matter whether I'm playing a boy or a girl. Like, I have to win. Dude, I'm just so bad. It's always Mario Kart.

Is that the only game girls know how to play or something? Dude, it's always Mario Kart and i'm always so bad at mario kart and i always like i get turned around like in a pond and i'm like dead last if it's if it's on like a wii and like you're actually moving the thing like it's old mario kart girls are really good at that but if it's on like a new uh system and you're playing on like a switch then girls aren't that good at that so it just depends what it's on yeah i feel that okay alex ditmer best or worst relationships broke up with a girl via text it's our guy she was so obsessed that she got her dad who works in homeland security to launch a small investigation to me and got me on the no-fly list ended up getting him fired and i'm back on the fly list no fly list so he couldn't go anywhere dude people are i wonder how

long it took him to figure out he was on the no-fly list like he literally couldn't go to another fly to another state is that what that means or i think that's what it means yeah like you show up to the airport and they're like yeah but he's ain't gonna what do you have to do to get on that list dude you gotta be a terrorist to get on that list you gotta just break up with a girl dude a terrorist all right with a girl, dude. A terrorist? All right.

Hold up. Okay, no. Okay, no. Yeah, people are psycho. I guess everybody's psycho when it comes to relationships, right? Okay, here we go, people are psycho. I guess everybody's psycho when it comes to relationships, right? Okay, here we go. Leslie Schindler. Best or worst breakups?

His Craigslist ads confirmations were in his emails. Trying to hook up with old dudes. Is there like a worse demo to hook up with than old guys? From Craigslist? Right. When I got to his house to confront him, he ran to his 70-year-old neighbors. Haven't seen him since.

Hooking up with old dudes from Craigslist, dude. I don't trust Craigslist at all. Have you ever done anything on Craigslist? I can't. I don't i don't think i've bought a fish tank on craigslist you sold one yeah how sketch was it that's like the the most innocent thing it was it was sketchy for sure i just don't think i knew like what facebook marketplace or any of those things were so i just like sold it on craigslist somebody came and picked it up. What's the difference between Facebook Marketplace and Craigslist? Craigslist is like foreign and like everybody on there is like

half the people are like it's just way more sketchy. So you have to like drive to somebody's house and like drop off a fish tank? Like that's how you do that? I mean it depends like what you agree on. Like they could come pick it up or I could come drop it off. Why is it like the Craigslistlist website the first website ever made?

It's never. There hasn't been one change to it. Are there even ads on it, which makes it even worse? No, I don't think so. But Facebook Marketplace is like... It's like the new thing to do. Because you've got to think it's connected to their Facebook so I could see that it's you.

You look like a normal guy, but with Craigslist, there's no pictures or anything. Okay. So it's like, who the fuck am I even pulling up to? Hooking up on Craigslist, though. What?

Pick a better dating app than Craigslist, man. How'd you meet your girlfriend? Craigslist. All right, let's go viral. Bye bye all right hashtag i keep reminding myself hashtag i keep reminding myself dude all day i pretty much i don't know why but like anytime i do something dumb or something like that, I shouldn't do. I always, I always like force myself to drink like a gallon of water. Do you guys do that? I feel

like I remind myself to stay hydrated the whole day. And it's always after something, like if I eat like a Kit Kat, I'm like, shit, I got to drink a bottle of water. That's like my, like, dude. And I don't, if I don't have my bottle, I'm done for like, it's like a baby kat i'm like shit i gotta drink a bottle of water that's like my like dude and i don't if i don't have my bottle i'm done for like it's like a baby bottle to me like if i don't have it do you drink water like that are you a psycho with water i drink a ton in the morning and i don't drink the rest of like the rest of the day that's what i do i drink say what i'm definitely a water guy crystal geyser if you like water by the gallon you got to get crystal geyser do you carry around a gallon all day i don don't. Is that your move? At home, I always keep a gallon by my bed, but I can't bring it here because it's a gallon of fucking water.

Dude, it's hard. That's like not travel size. A gallon of Geyser. I don't know. I just have like I'll keep a water bottle for like four months. It's like probably disgusting, but I keep it on me. I don't know, man. For me, it's like so hard to stay hydrated

Like I feel like I can get hydrated And then like once I like go up the stairs My pee's like yellow immediately Why is it so hard? Why is it the only thing I think of? Hashtag What I'm passionate about No fuck that.

Hashtag superstitious. Do you guys do anything like every day that you got to keep doing? Not at all superstitious. I'm not superstitious, but I don't split poles. Yo, that's a big deal. I don't, but I do it and I'm like, yeah, whatever. Oh, yo, that's a big deal. I don't, but I do it. And I'm like,

yeah, whatever, bro. You remember that? So if we were, if we were like walking down the street and we like, we like both walk by a stop sign and split us in the middle, you'd have to come all the way back around.

We're, we're two guys. So no, but if it was like me and a girl, I'd be like, yo, don't split the pole. So like,

but like, what are you doing it for though? You know, like your luck or something. I don't know. Somebody told me one time, and I was like, damn, I can't split the pole. It does feel weird. Have you ever even thought about that?

What? Splitting a pole? No. Splitting poles. No. Is it like when me and you were walking down the street, and we went on both sides of a tree and then kept walking? Never once have I thought about that.

of a tree and then kept walking like never never once have i thought about that like i had this roommate in college and we'd we'd split a pole but and then we'd be like talking about something and he'd forget and like run back and circle the tree and come all the way back it was the dumbest shit of all time but then i was like he's got a point i'm superstitious about dumb stuff like if i'm like running or something like that i'll, like, hear a car coming behind me. I'll, like, make sure I, like, pass a stop sign before it passes me, some shit like that. That's, like, how I pray. I'm, like, if I make this in the trash can,

like, everything will be okay. That's, like, how I deal with it. Like, if this car passes me before I stop this, before I go pass this, like, stop sign, like, I'm not gay i don't know you guys don't do that i mean i feel like i have little things like if i'm running and i'll like say i'll like go to the end of the street or whatever and like i'm supposed to turn around right there i'll have like but i feel like it's more ocd like i'll

have to like go and like touch like a stop sign i always have to touch the signs you know what i mean and i gotta touch everything i'm like a kid but i don't think that thing before you came in here yeah i did see that i still touch the door frames but i don't think that's superstitious though it's not me like doing it to like for good luck it's just like an ocd type i gotta hit that i touched the touch the plane on the outside before I get in. The plane? Yeah, like you know when you're walking through the plane, there's like the outside of you could touch it.

I always touch the plane on the outside. Why? I don't know. Just in case if we do die. Good luck, buddy. Right. Give him a little pat on the back. Okay.

Let's do days. And we'll peace. National Wednesday, National Dessert Day. What's your favorite dessert? Dude, it really depends. Like, if I'm... Like, I always want something plain, but I always mess up. Like, I always want, like, vanilla soft-serve ice cream.

That's, like, my thing that I just want. But then I always, like, overthink and get the dumb shit I don't want. You know what I mean? What's yours? Like, if I'm going out or if I'm just, like, staying at my house. Staying at your house. Cereal for dessert yeah like what like our whole family it's like a thing where like at the end of every like meal we'll all eat cereal what the like what

kind though uh i get that i get that but it's for me, that's just like another meal. It's not like in the dessert category. Anything but like frosted mini-wheats. Like I'm not, I'm going to stay so far away from frosted mini-wheats. That's not even dessert at all. It is to us though. Frosted mini-wheat? What about you? I'm like an Apple Jacks guy.

Obviously Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Apple Jacks are fire. Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Apple Jacks are fire. Cinnamon Toast Crunch. And this sounds kind of lame, but like the Halloween cereal. You know what I'm talking about? You like Count Chocula? I love Count Chocula. Is that what you were thinking?

You didn't want to say the names. You just said Halloween cereal. I do that too. I'm going with, well, if it's at home. it's like a toaster strudel type of guy oh i hate toaster strudels because i can never cook them right but i'm going with like at home probably just like cookies and milk but if it's out why did i not expect you to say cookies like that but if i'm going out i'd like a uh apple fritter if you know what that this girl put me on apple fritters and i haven't looked back since what is it it's an apple pie no no no it's like you put ice cream on top of like this apple kind of like an apple pie

it's like apple dough and there's it's apple pie with. No, because it's not apple pie. It's like this weird apple dough stuff. I don't know what it is. Apple pie? It's like the dessert version of chicken and dumplings. That's exactly what I was thinking. Bro, pull it up real quick. Apple fritter. I've heard of it so many times.

That's just apple pie with ice cream. Dude, it's not freaking apple pie. Fritter. There's nothing better than an apple fritter in the south. Oh, my gosh. In the south? You got to go down south. I've got to go to Florida to eat a fritter. I nothing better than an apple fritter in the south oh my gosh in the south you gotta go you gotta go down i gotta go to florida eat a fritter be back tomorrow a fritter you gotta get what's for dinner mom dumplings and fritters what's up yeah you like apple fritters oh this oh my gosh this right here

oh okay no that was just a weird picture kind of looked like shit like literally oh it does kind of look like shit now as you say that this looks disgusting bro it's just that looks good to me it's just apple dough and ice cream. That's like an apple fritter sandwich. Why is that the dessert dumpling though? I don't know. I would just want the ice cream. And then I'd see that and be like, okay, I'll take that.

And I won't like it. But then you got to get a scoop of ice cream and then a pinch of the fritter and it has that like just crunch to it. Oh my gosh. A pinch? You eat it with your hands? Oh, fuck no. I use a spoon like a real man.

All right, Thursday. National Cheese Curd Day. I'm going to be honest. I don't even really know what those are. Why are these foods coming up today have the weirdest names? Dumplings, fritters, and curds. What are cheese curds? Look that up.

Do you never had cheese curds? I don't know. I don't know what any of this stuff is. Bro, cheese curds are disgusting. It's like just, I don don't know any of this stuff is bro cheese curds are disgusting it's like just i don't even know what it is i know it's cheese but it's like fried that looks like i'm gonna fart like is that would you dip it in ketchup i think some people do yeah those are definitely chicken nuggets i think it's just a mozzarella stick cut up and then fried. Yeah. That's what it looks like. Cheese curds.

I wouldn't be able to order that, I don't think. I'm not man enough to order that. I heard Dairy Queen has them, though. If you're going to Dairy Queen for anything besides a blizzard, get out of here. Bro, if you're going to Dairy Queen for hot eats, you're psycho. Hot eats, cool tree. I did eat at Dairy Queen one time, and it was disgusting. I got, like, their chicken tender basket. You guys have definitely gotten that at DQ.

You're a hot eats guy, bro. That's why you stayed quiet during that. I think I might have gotten chicken tenders at Dairy Queen. Say what? You have? I think I might have gotten chicken tenders at Dairy Queen. It's, like, over there every like over there you're eating it right now but it's because i was so scared to like try anything else there yeah it's safe it's safe

do they even have anything besides chicken fingers and ice cream like if they had a cheeseburger i'd be so fucking worried they do and i had it that's the thing i ordered that's the thing i ordered this no it's so gross so worried too it looked like a sloppy joe and i got it look up dairy queen hot eats real quick let's see what's on this menu i'm still rolling off this coffee i do have fucking cheese but it looks like a steak and shake menu. Oh yeah, hot dogs. Cheese curds, onion rings, french fries. I guess it's just like Sonic.

Sonic food. No, Sonic food is kind of good. Does Sonic kind of bang? I've never had it, but everybody says it's good. Oh, it's good. Sonic kind of bangs. Like, bang sonics i've never had it but everybody says it's good oh it's good sonic kind of bangs like their drinks they've got so except for that's like a place that has so many options i don't know what to do right i feel like their cheeseburgers are up there with like culver's level of like it's just like a fresh burger just like a good got a nice juice juice to it All right. Here we go. What was that?

That was a national cheese curd day. What the hell am I doing? All right. Friday. National department store day. Remember getting lost in a department store when you were a kid? Actually, getting lost in any store when you were a kid why why didn't your mom give a shit like why was your mom looking for you like you were looking for her what i'm like go it probably because they want a break from you or something but i swear i was

lost for like 45 minutes one time crying and shit i cried like, like crying, like when your face hurts, crying. Nobody in the store gave a shit. I was like, it was like my dream to get called over to that, like PA system. All of the other kids did, man. I was just like looking through the bikes and shit. Oh my God.

All right. Saturday, national, uh, mulligan day. What is a mulligan? I don't know, but I remember... I hear it all the time.

Freshman year, we'd be playing like volleyball or something, and somebody would be like, mulligan. A mulligan is... Like a redo or something? A redo, I think. Like a mulligan in golf. That's where it's from. Mulligan.

You can redo your life that day. Can I get a mulligan? Sounds like some shit you'd order with the rest of these things we're bringing up. Dumplings, fritters, mulligans, and what was the last thing? Cheese curds. Can I get a mulligan with those curds? All right. National Sunday.

National. National legging day. National Legging Day? Dude, there should be... No, I'm not even going to say that. National Legging Day. How much did leggings change the game? Even for guys. You ever see dudes in the gym that wear leggings?

What do you say? Dudes don't wear leggings but or where what do you say dudes don't wear leggings they wear like tights i call it uh compressed pants not we we all we call it leggings like at my school we did for dudes too yeah like if somebody was playing basketball and they had like we would just say leggings on yeah you'd say compressed pants compressed pants compressed pants that's the most technical shit of all time. Damn, Shorty, I like you in those compressed pants. No, you would say, oh, the guy. A girl would be ladies.

All right, let's bounce out of here. That was shot 128, the Espresso podcast. Show's coming up. I've got one in, I think I've got one in LA coming up at the beginning of November. I'll get more details out on that, but remember to follow at Benedict Polizzi on Twitter, Instagram, Twitter, Instagram, TikTok, and Cameo for sure. Get a Cameo. They're fun. I'll do whatever you want, honestly, at this point. All right, y'all.

Talk to you guys next week. All right, fam. Yo. Do you want cheese curds? I like that.