Every Town - Hampstead, Maryland - Autassassinophilia: The Consensual Homicide of Sharon Lopatka

Episode Date: August 20, 2021

Our public persona is what most people know and see, and it becomes the basis of how they love or hate us, and appreciate or judge us. What we tightly guard and don’t expose though is our private persona which harbors our deepest thoughts, obsessions and fantasies. Some fantasize about having the fame and wealth of Bill Gates or Beyoncé, the powers of a Marvel superhero, or feed their thoughts with their dream travel destinations. Sharon Rina Lopatka from the town of Hampstead in Maryland was unique as an odd duck – she was obsessed about autassassinophilia, a condition characterized by abnormal sexual desires in which a person is sexually aroused by the risk of being killed. Obsessing about it is one thing, but acting willfully on it is throwing one’s self into death’s claws. Sharon fulfilled her obsession, but the consequences were utter devastation.💥 Watch This Episode On Youtube Here: https://www.youtube.com/scarymysteries💥 Exclusive Content Here: https://www.patreon.com/scarymysteries 💥 More Creepy Podcasts From Us: https://www.buzzsprout.com/1235579💥 Contact Us [e-mail]  Support the show Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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MES in Shopify.S.org. If you love true crime, grab your favorite mug and pour yourself a dose of creepy true crime every single morning with a morning cup of murder. This short daily show is the perfect podcast to incorporate into your morning routine because in less than 15 minutes,

you'll hear about a true crime that took place on a day's date in history. Each day's dark history lesson will kickstart your morning with intriguing tales of murder abduction, serial killers, cults, and everything in between. With over 20 million downloads, Morning Cup of Murder has something for every true crime lover. One listener describes the show as a small package with a powerful punch of crime.

Another writes that the show is an absolute delight in the morning. So for yourself, a piping hot cup of murder every single morning with Morning Cup of Murder. Find it on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or we're at. you get your podcasts. Every town has a dark side. Today we head to Hampstead, which is in Carroll County, Maryland, where we check out autosessinophilia, the sexual perversion behind the consensual homicide of Sharon Lopatka. Our public persona is what most people know and see, and it becomes the basis of how

they love or hate us and appreciate or judge us. What we tightly guard and don't expose, though, is our private persona, harboring our deepest thoughts, obsessions, and fantasies. Some fantasize about having the fame and wealth of Bill Gates or Beyonce, the powers of a Marvel superhero, or feed their psyche with their dream travel destinations. But Sharon Lopatka, from the town of Hampstead in Maryland, had a unique fascination. She was obsessed with otta sassanophilia, a condition characterized by abnormal sexual desires

in which a person is sexually aroused by the risk of being killed. Fantasizing about it is one thing, but acting willfully on it is self-assigning a likely death sentence. Sharon fulfilled her obsession, and the consequences were utterly devastating. Hi, I'm And if it's Jules. Gerald, and this week's episode of Every Town delves into the idiosyncratic life of the virtual

persona of Sharon Lopatka, which was far different from the image she projected out into the real world. She was looking for her dream man when she posted this question in an alt-sex news group, want to talk about torturing to death. One man replied affirmatively, setting into motion a disturbing chain of event. For many, it would seem like a nightmare Sharon placed herself into, but for the woman whose obsession was otta sessinophilia, it was a dream come true. Sharon Lopatka was as typical as any other woman you might meet on the street or sit next to

on the train. She was the eldest of four daughters born on September 20th, 1961, to Orthodox Jewish parents Mr. and Mrs. Abraham Denberg. The Denberg's siblings were raised in Baltimore, Maryland's most populous city, where their father spent three decades as canter, leading people in prayer and song, at an Orthodox congregation in Pikesville. Sharon and her siblings were members of the synagogue too.

She went to Pikesville High School, where she was active in the school's sports teams and choir. Her classmates saw Sharon, who was overweight as normal as you can get. After graduating from high school in 1979, she was employed in a series of jobs, including working for a year and a half as a clerk in an FBI fingerprint lab. It was only in 1990 when Sharon, already 28 years old, had her first real romance. She met and fell in love with Victor Lopatka, a Catholic, construction supervisor, so much so that Sharon agreed to convert from Judaism. In 1991,

Victor and Sharon were married in Ellicott City, Maryland. Their marriage was described by Sharon's classmate as her way of breaking away because the bride's parents detested her relationship, perhaps due to the pair's differences in religion. Soon after their wedding, the new couple moved to Victor's ranch-like track house in Hampstead, Maryland. Named after England's Hampstead, the rural town has developed from a farming community to a modern town of about 6,300 residents. Sharon felt out of place and isolated there, missing her life in Baltimore. So while Victor became a familiar face around town, jogging or walking the couple's pet

Labradorers, Sharon found both solace and a source of productivity on her computer. She became a proud cyber geek and through an entrepreneurial online venture was able to earn additional income for herself and her husband. The resourceful side of Sharon was impressive and was the centerpiece of the public persona her husband, friends, neighbors, and clients associated her with. Sharon Lopatka's enterprise got off the ground in 1995 while working from home using her computer. Thanks to the burgeoning power of the internet, she started online advertising with the first website she hosted, which was named House of Dion. She sold and mailed home decor guides at $7 a piece.

In order to entice buyers, the website had this advertising copy. Home decoring secrets seen in the posh homes of the New England states to the Hollywood Hills can now be yours. Never published before, quick easy ways to decorate your home. For the first time in print, these secrets and tricks of the trade can now be yours. With her confidence and her talent for copywriting, Sharon created a second website called Classified Concepts. She offered advertising, copy, rewriting, and editing, and charged $50 for her services. Sharon became hooked by the lucrative returns of engaging, an online business, it created several websites that were linked to 900 numbers and psychic hotlines.

Sharon's websites, under the business name Delado Dion, sold psychic readings and hawked love potions, while also earning a sales percentage from other companies advertising their own premium rate telephone numbers on her websites. Day and night, Sharon was glued to the blue lights of her computer, continually monitoring. her websites. She didn't mind ballooning to 189 pounds as long as she found productivity and financial gains in her online life. The lore of the virtual world was too potent for Sharon to resist, and she eventually treaded its dark and dangerous path. She secretly pursued a second life online where she metamorphosed into someone absolutely pulls apart from her public persona.

In her very discreet and eccentric alternative online life, Sharon used various pseudonyms as she unleashed the sexual beast within. Or was it her real persona all along that wanted to be uncaged? Fueled by the initial success of her online businesses, Sharon expanded her sources of income. Straying from mainstream products services, she tried to tap the veiled and unexposed adult marketplace of pornography, sexual fetishes, and perversions.

It may have been taboo at that time, but Sharon summoned her boldness to reach into that market. In October of 95, during her fifth year of marriage to Victor, Sharon assumed the name Nancy Carlson and began marketing pornographic content on the World Wide Web. The salacious video materials mostly depicted women being raped or engaging in sexual acts with each other after they've been drugged, hypnotized, or rendered unconscious with chloroform. It's impossible to fathom how Sharon justified making money off the deplorable exploitation of these women. Sharon also advertised a number of other videos that catered to different sexual preferences,

including foot fetishes, extreme weight gain, and large women crushing men. Moreover, she also offered to create custom 30-minute videos in which she would fulfill any request for just $100. Posing as a beautiful blonde, Sharon couldn't help herself from throwing in something very personal into her menu of sexual offerings. She sold her own undergarments and marked, marketed them in a plainly worded advertisement.

Is there anyone out there interested in buying my worn panties? The rural housewife presumably found such thrill from taking part in such schemes without exposing her true identity, that Sharon audaciously took one big, bold step. The internet became her venue to fulfill her own taboo sexual desires. Sharon started weaving a web of lies and deceit in pursuit of gratification of her sexual fantasies. During routine email conversations and transactions, Victor Lopatka's wife used her real name Sharon

or her online screen name Nancy. But when she explored various online communities or other members shared her sexual fetishes and fascination with necrophilia, torture, bondage, and sadomasochism, Sharon slipped into different virtual identities. She created numerous accounts and pseudonyms, complete with names, photos, descriptions, and personalities.

In various sex chat rooms of pornographic sites, such as alt.com, fetishfeet.com, and sex bondage.com, the aliases, nanconcentric, Gina 108 and Marinda became Sharon Lopakka's alter egos. She posted more than 50 messages focused on edgy and illicit themes like snuff sex and her sexual desire of being tortured to death. Using the internet, sharing gain the ability to hide identities and create new ones

where it's psychologists call the Matty Gra effect. Sometimes it's used just as a form of self-expression and sometimes it takes a more sinister turn. In Sharon's case, her obsession of being sexually tortured to death almost came into realization. In fact, she actually went to New Jersey to meet one of the men she'd encountered online. But when he realized the Maryland woman seriously wanted someone to torture her

until she died, he refused to help Sharon fulfill her twisted fantasy. That must have fueled Sharon's desire, even more, for she didn't stop until her insatiable thirst to experience auto-sacinophilia firsthand was quenched. The road to Sharon's fulfillment of her life-threatening sexual obsession began towards the end of the summer of 96. Almost 35 years old and overweight in real life, Sharon used the Nancy Carlson character in her fantasy life. A disciplinary and dominatrix pornographic film actress who weighed 300 pounds. In an online group that had a panache for cannibalistic sex,

Sharon posted looking for someone who would force-feed her until she more than doubled her size, reaching a goal weight of 475 pounds. She claimed she was very serious about achieving it, and part of her self-promotion read, I am not interested in email correspondence or phone feeding. What I would really like is the real thing. I am willing to be force-fed to meet my goal if necessary.

I am also willing to relocate if that's what it takes to find the right feeder. I am hoping someone out there will help me out and share in the most erotic experience of their life. However, Sharon specified that she was looking, for someone who was single, stating she didn't want to break up any marriages. Apparently, she didn't think that her risky behavior might also put a dent in her own marriage. Ultimately, no one found took her up on her force-feeding offer, but another door was opened when Sharon, using the alias, Nan Concentric, encountered a man after she had posted her darkest fantasy, a being sexually tortured to death.

Sharon started communicating with Robert Bobby Frederick Glass in August of 1996 in a pornographic online chat room. The inquiry that brought them together with Sharon's post, which implored, want to talk about torturing to death. I hope you all don't think I'm strange or anything. Finally, the 34-year-old Sharon found her match in Bobby Glass's cyber persona named Slowhand. Bobby, a pot-bellied, 45-year-old Rotarian, was from Lenore, North Carolina. For 16 years, he worked as a computer analyst for the Kataba County government in North Carolina.

His tasks included programming tax roles and keeping track. of the amount of vehicle gas consumption in the county. What brought Bobby and Sharon together was a common factor in their lives. Both spent most of their time online browsing the same websites. But in Bobby's case, he drove his obsession to a point where his wife Sherry left him and took off with their three kids a few months before Robert offered to fulfill Sharon's fantasy. Bobby and Sherry had been married for 14 years when she noticed her husband spending much more time on the computer than with her. Suspicious, she logged on to her husband's email account and found several raw, violent, and disturbing messages that he had sent under the pseudonyms, Toy Man, and Slow Hand.

Sherry was shocked to say the least by this dark side of her husband of 14 years. As a result, the two separated in May of 1996. Three months later, Bobby, as Slow Hand, answered Sharon's online posts about her sexual obsession, detailing how he would fulfill her fantasy. It was clear that strangulation during sex was Sharon's ultimate fantasy. In turn, Bobby described how Slow Hand was going to sexually torture and ultimately kill her. In the beginning, Bobby and Sharon, took it slow, exchanging close to 900 pages of emails before they both agreed to do anything.

Many of those messages were sexually graphic and violent as they played out roles, but words couldn't replace the thrill of the two meeting in the flesh to realize Sharon's obsession. Finally, after six weeks of living in fantasy, Sharon Lopatka and Bobby Glass opted for the thing in the real world. Victor Lopatka was totally unaware of what his wife Sharon really had in mind the morning of October 13, 1996, when she informed him of her upcoming trip to Georgia, 702 miles away from their Hampstead home to meet acquaintances. The truth was, Sharon was actually headed 438 miles away to L'Norne, North Carolina,

where Bobby Glass lived in a trailer. Before she left, Sharon left Victor a note saying that she wouldn't be returning home and requested her husband not to track down Bobby. The note ended chillingly. If my body is never retrieved, don't worry. Know that I'm at peace. Sharon drove her blue Honda Civic 45 minutes to Baltimore's Pennsylvania Station, took a.m. Amtrak train,

and arrived in Charlotte, North Carolina by 8.4.4. p.m. awaiting at the station was her online lover Bobby, and they then drove 75 miles north in his pickup truck to Bobby's run-down trailer home in Lenore, a North Carolina City located in the foothills of the Blue Ridge Mountain. After the door of the trailer closed, Sharon and Bobby's six-week exchange of email messages about drawing carnal pleasure from consensual homicide unfolded. The words sexual torture and bondage were acted out in real life and concluded in what Sharon wanted, a sexually gratifying death. Back in Hampstead, Maryland, Victor hadn't heard from his wife. And when he found her note, the perplexed husband reported her missing on October 20th,

a week after she'd left their home. Maryland state police searched the missing woman's computer using a specifically designed software, and they retrieved almost 900 pages of email messages that contained Sharon's darkest and kinkiest secrets. She and Bobby Glass had engaged in explicit correspondence about bondage and domination. The most disturbing messages were Sharon asking Bobby to torture her to death. Their last email was on October 12th,

a day before Sharon left. Authorities traced Bobby to her. to an internet service provider in North Carolina, and soon the Norr Police surveilled Bobby's trailer home, which was stuck in the middle of a weed-filled yard, but they didn't see a trace of Sharon alive. Thus, on October 25th, a search warrant for Bobby's home was issued, and investigators discovered Sharon's belongings there.

They also found disturbing items, such as drug and bondage equipment, child pornography magazines, a 357 magnum, and several computer discs, as well as trash and toys outside the trailer. But the evidence that eventually nailed Bobby was traced 75 feet away from his home, where Sharon's decomposing corpse was buried three and a half feet below the ground. County investigator DA Brown said that Sharon's body might have have never been found had it been buried in the woods behind Bobby's house, rather than in a clearing. There was no way out for Bobby who was immediately rested at work and charged with first-degree murder.

He was held without bond in the Caldwell County Jail, but Diddy really fulfill Sharon's wish of sexually torturing her until her last breath? According to Bobby, he didn't kill her intentionally, and it was an accidental death. He disclosed, that they were engaged in erotic asphyxiation while having sex, and she died when he accidentally strangled her to death with a nylon cord. I don't know how much I pulled the rope, he told investigators. I never wanted to kill her, but she ended up dead. Perhaps their excitement got out of hand while Bobby was sexually choking his willing victim. Meanwhile, Dr. Robert Thompson, Associate Chief Medical Examiner of North Carolina,

said an autopsy didn't reveal any new wounds or old scars that would have suggested Sharon had been tortured. He said he was aware of reports claiming she'd been strangled by a piece of rope, but did not find any bruises or marks on her neck. The coroner further said the autopsy didn't determine how Sharon died, but he said findings were consistent with someone who had been asphyxated. Investigators also based their findings on the autopsy report and other findings that Sharon had died on October 16th or three days after first meeting with Bobby. What ensued was a lengthy three-year trial in which Bobby's lawyers based the defense on the post-mortem results which didn't show signs that Sharon resisted. The defense also argued that the email messages proved that Sharon met Bobby with full knowledge that she'd be tortured and killed.

therefore changing the case from murder to assisted suicide. On January 27, 2000, Bobby pleaded guilty to voluntary manslaughter and sexual exploitation charges, which were punishable by 36 to 53 months in prison at the Avery Mitchell Correctional Institution. He was also sentenced to an additional 27 months for federal charges of second-degree minor exploitation to be served consecutively.

With credit for the time served between his arrest and sentencing, Bobby was due for release in March of 2002. However, he died in prison of a heart attack on February 20, 2002, just two weeks before his release. The death of Sharon Lopatka and the seemingly unbelievable circumstances leading up to it brought tremendous shock to her family, friends, and the surrounding community. for how can one who seemed exceedingly normal and well-adjusted to most of the people who knew her have an acute obsession with something as twisted as auto-sassinophilia? Her good high school friend expressed disbelief saying, What I want people to know is the woman I knew was not crazy in the slightest.

A family friend echoed these sentiments. She was always a happy person, always bubbly even. Sharon's case was reportedly the first where a murder suspect was arrested due to evidence from emails. A majority of the media coverage of Sharon's killing focused on the dangerous consequences of internet chat rooms and message boards. As Knight Rider, a former American media company specializing in newspaper and internet publishing explained, the internet has become a meeting place for people with an interest in sexual fetishes and people, practices. For the atypical, Sharon Lopatka, the internet became her haven.

Ironically, it also steered her to an unfortunate and untimely death. So that's it for this week's episode of Everytown. Tune in next week for another episode filled with scary, strange, and mysterious stories. And who knows? Maybe your town will be next.