Extra Dirty with Hallie Batchelder - Bestie catch-up: evil exes & the 4am going out debrief

Episode Date: January 29, 2026

Fresh off a bender with the gays, Hallie, Liv, and Lauren are cuddled up on the Extra Dirty couch! The girls dive into recent winter happenings: a man lovingly nicknamed "Lexapro C*ck" and his Low M status, Hallie's apartment having zero feng shui, and the struggles of being an iPad kid. The girlies answer questions from the DMs and respond to YOUR submitted confessions: a toe being reattached to a man’s hand as a thumb, "rubbing men," and more. Munching box, Hallie’s body count list, and Liv’s evil ex... it’s all on the table this week. Enjoy babes, besos!! 💋 Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Have you never gotten by a toe? I feel like if guys put his foot in there, at one point. Okay. Yeah, yeah, maybe. Who? What do you mean me? I don't know.

If I was by a toe, I would know. What up, you little freaks? Okay, guys, I'm doing something really stupid right now. We have an emergency debrief situation. Hi, this is Hallie from the streets of New York. Guys, I had every intention of staying in last night. Okay, hi everyone. Welcome back to Extra Dirty. I'm here with my two favorite. Lauren and Liv say hello. Hello. Hi. We're, we're gonna just do like a little bit of a besty catch up because I feel like we haven't done this in a while. We haven't sat on this couch in a while and I said we're gonna sit on this couch today. I brought my materials. I made a bloody Mary. We sat here for an hour and a half. And now we're cozy. I'm so not okay. No, we're so not well. Liv tell him about us.

night. I got to zero and I just started drinking and then I stayed out until 4 a.m. Yeah, live was fun last night. I knew you were going to get you're fun every night though. Drunky. Do you mean that? I do mean that. Really? I do mean that. Like I was saying last night, I was like, they don't need alcohol to be fun. That's how quickly they make up. Yeah. Sometimes I do. Do you want to hold hands for a second? Our fight is it going to be in? We just got into a fight. Yeah. It's cut out. Oh my God. It's a lot. It's a lot. It's a lot. It's a lot. It's got out like this is what happens when i drink everyone starts fighting like ask anyone that's not true we rarely fight we were we were we were we last night i said should i fight yeah okay no what are you're gonna

fight about we don't we don't fight we have one big fight a year and it's all my birthday and it's always on it's always on july 23rd so the days yeah it's not the best day to have a fight I mean you should July 22nd. I think you should not invite me to your birthday. I should like, I think you should do something. I think you should hide in your room. No, no, I'm kidding. Guys, this is the craziest intro ever. No, guys, sorry. We're arguing and we're talking about how Lauren should quarantine on a birthday. I'm like too hungover. Oh, yeah, I don't know what's up and I was. I didn't drink, but I went home so late that I could be hung over. I know so late. You guys got up to leave. Yeah. You guys got up to go. And what happened?

You came back. Well, Conor Wood was like, you're really going to leave. And I look at Lauren, I go, Lauren, I'm going to stay. And she goes, you're going to stay? I was like, yeah. She goes, well, then I'm going to stay. And we had a grand night. It goes both ways.

What do you mean by that? What do you mean by that? Okay, Louis, we go on my notes out because I wrote things down. I want to see if it makes any sense to you guys. I feel like I'm being really busy. I'm not trying to be. I'm just so fucking. not okay and these lights are really bright.

You're forgiven. I love you. Well, I'm not, you know. Are you worried about the commenters? Yeah, it was more so talking to the audience. What I have my notes is Lexa ProCocke. The guy that talks about making $2.5 million last year. Oh, I'm going to talk about that.

I want to talk about that. That was a really good one. Wait, okay, so this guy who I haven't hooked up with yet, and I don't think I'm going to hook up with them after this conversation that happened. he was so f***ed up the other night and he's like an older guy he's like a daddy he's like 40 he's 42 I looked it up yes you do yeah he's literally

gray no no no but in a hot way he's not like he's not skin gray his hair his hair is gray it's white in a hot way I'm like he smells like death already he's gray and and he's dying and he's giving George Clooney

okay he's hot but not after this conversation so he was trying to give me to link up And he's kind of like needy. Like won't he like triple quadruple text me wishes me every happy holiday. And it just kind of gives me that. It's like like don't you have work to do. That's kind of the vibes.

Clearly not. Clearly not. Clearly not. He doesn't have enough work. All right. So he calls me at 5 a.m. And I'm just kind of entertaining it. And he's just like I'm just really stressed.

And I've had a conversation with an actual billionaire like this. But I made $45 million dollars last year and it feels really weird. and I don't know what to do with myself. Oh, yeah. Okay, so that was that guy, but people are going to get confused. So this guy called me and he was like, I just feel really weird. Like, I just made $2.5 million. He goes, I made $2.5 million last year.

Like, congratulations, dude. Didn't be all. And I'm like, I'm like, so. Like, I would keep this information tears out. I was like, I hope you're not calling any other girl like this. Yeah. He thought he was like stopping me in my tracks that like that was the most insane amount, like dollar amount of money. He thought he was like, $2.5 million.

He thought I would just like come over in that moment. Put a baby in me. Like absolutely not. We told Jordan about this and Jordan was like, you three have the most unrealistic view of money. Go bigger, go home. And he's like, and I'm on track to make it again this year. I was like, not the track. I was like.

He's like, I'm on track to do it again. He goes, it's looking like it might happen again. Like, buy a cute house and shut the fuck up. I'm like, babe, like, what? That's really weird. Keep that fucking information to yourself. I didn't know he was broke. I thought he was a billionaire.

I thought he was a billionaire. I thought that too. The way he walks, too, like he just, he's got it, you know? What kind of guy where I'm like, what made us think that, though? I was, just because he hangs out with billioners. Someone told me along the way that he was. and I believed it because he fit the bill. I think he looks at it.

No pun intended. No pun intended. But like by proxy, I thought he was a B and not like a low M. Like like he was. We're going to get cancer. No, I don't care. I don't care. No, I'm not.

I'm not saying that it's not a lot of money. Colon, let me apologize. Let me apologize. I thought he was. Make the Instagram story. Apology right now. Yeah, I'm sorry. I thought at least he was a B.

At least. He's the lowest of M. A low M is fucking sending me. No. He's a low tier M. It doesn't get a lower M than him. I thought he was a mid-B. It turns out to be a lower M than him.

I don't even know how you, like, he's barely an M. Sorry. Sorry. I'm sorry. This is bad. But just like, based off of like his friends, I thought he was at least a middle M. All right.

Anyways, he's not getting his dick sacked. But, like, all right. Let's move on to the next thing. What's just threw up and pitch my hands at the same time. Loan, Lauren. What? What? Lauren called snowflakes, snowballs today.

We're Face-timing all morning because we literally can't do anything without being on the phone with each other. Lauren goes, guys. Keep in mind. She brought it up 10 times about the snow this morning. We get it. I was shocked. She goes, guys, look outside. There's snowballs coming out of the sky. No, I said the snowballs look really big today. Snowballs. You know what? My brain didn't work quick enough to get me to the word snowflake. You're just rushing. It's fine. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. My apartment has no feng shui. You're what? What did you? You have no fengue. What do you mean my lap?

Wait, is that a question someone wrote it? Actually, your apartment does have feng shui. Fung Shui is a flow. The construction of my apartment has feng shui, but like how I decorate it has no feng shui. No, I think it's other way around. The way you decorated has feng shui. Your apartment inherently does not have great feng shui because it's like a long narrow. I need to Google it.

But you did a good job at furnishing maybe, but like there's a TV on my right side of my bed. I know. You could have got one of those easel things. What's an easel? So it's literally like a, it looks like a tripod kind of, but they're pretty. They're like wood. Like they've burl of energy. And look it up, like TV on a tripod and you can like wheel it around the room.

I think that's kind of suss. Like if I like was wheeling around my fucking TV. Well, they don't all have wheels. Like some of them are stationary. Also, where would my tarp go? Where would my tarp go? Your tarp. The tarp that's in front of my bed.

The tarp that doesn't move. The tarp that looks like it's always about to be picked up. But it's there every day. It's like a part of it's getting picked up on. Holly has a massive IKEA bag just like in her bedroom. I just had a really intrusive thought. What was it? Tommy.

To kick the drain? No, I don't. No. I don't, I don't know if this is intrusive or inappropriate thought. You know, it's like you're in a hospital and you're carrying around your thing with you. How often are you in a hospital? How often are you in a hospital? I just put your oxygen tank.

Guys. That's going to be me after one day. Except with Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. That's Holly's oxygen tank. I have tears of my eyes. It's just middle-aged women fighting. I'm an iPad kid, but with Real Housewives. No, Halley, you're worse.

You're just so bad. I think I have sensory issues. I might be in the spectrum. Every time you call me, I have so, do you see my eyes? I'm laughing so hard. I'm crying. When I left my apartment tonight, I had banner pump rolls on in three different rooms.

Of course you did. They're all playing different episodes. And I'm tuning in each one. Every roof she walks into. It's like a new, new adventure. It's like a new vibe. It's like a new... You would think she's studying the show.

I think I can recite it. You probably could. I think I could verbatim. Every time... Guys, when we go to Nantucketucket over the summer, I like pray to God I don't have to sleep in the twin bed room with Holly because she blasts I used to I put AirPods in I just lost my train of thought no I know you I know you I know she blast on her computer even when you put your AirPods on I'm like I can still hear they don't get the vibes

sleeping with your AirPods blaring it calms me down to hear middle-aged woman fight and if you don't get the vibes you know I get it I've talked about this before about it you I now realize Hallie's fighting style makes so much sense. Oh my God. Give me that right now. She's really funny. Okay, what else can we talk about besides trashing me and my love for Real Housewives?

Wait, I feel bad that we started the podcast off on a bad note. We didn't. It was a funny note. It was just real girlhood. We kind of like went out of. But that's what you were. That's what we started in each other. There was a miscommunication. And I did say that.

You did. And I wasn't offended. I don't think, thank you for not speaking up in that moment. You said it too, and I heard you. What did I say? You go, this is what they do. They don't drink. And I go, fine, I'm, you know what then?

No, but I was like, this is what they do. Sometimes they don't drink, but you don't, I was, my point was, don't force them to drink. Because you're trying to get you to drink. Don't force them. Is that? No, no, I got an accurate. No, I got it.

But I heard that and I was like, you know what? I'm going to drink. So you drank and sit out in 5 a. And I actually, I had so much. I had so much. fun like let me just tell you the funnest nights are when you only have a few drinks and you're with the gays like seven drinks up and i just like we were with all gay men last night when i'm with these gay men they make me feel like i am a fucking supermodel like the way that

my gay friends gas me up is like no other and i really needed that last night and like it's just safe like they don't want to fuck you yeah they don't like they're so fun one wants to fuck me though like they can't even talk about it like literally no one was it sex mean it's really munged up Hallie, we ran the way text him the other day. I mean, what did you text me? Because you know, like, how I am when I don't get laid for

a certain period of time, I start losing I'll, like, lose the color in my face, I'll lose weight, I'll lose the will to live, I'll lose anything. I have basically dignity. She is like literally Jennifer's body. I've always said this. And then you can have

a man. Like, I need to feed up a man. And then like I wake up the next morning and I have the colors back into my face. I'm chipper. You're chipper. But like I'm just trying to be more selective. Can we find you someone to fuck tonight? Like I'm trying to. Maybe today.

Are you saying I'm, if you notice changes in my mood? No, I, no, I just want you to be like happy. I do look gray though and people have been DMing me that. You don't look gray. It's just the middle of winter. But I got a spray tan last week. Oh, you did? So I'm like, that's bad.

I need a spray dance. I have a headache. Who's the figure baby hungover? You or you? Me? For sure. Yeah. I would.

This is just... Me for sure. I'm such a baby hungover that I don't drink because I fear it. Yeah. In your Russian, you should be housing. I'm a Jew, though. Jews is don't process alcohol. That's a religion, Lauren.

That seems a little anti-smouth. No. It's like a thing. My dad told me. Judaism is a belief. It's not like a genetic makeup, is it? I feel like we're getting on Dicey Field right now. Let's look it up.

I think it is a genetic makeup. What if I converted to Judaism though tomorrow? I wouldn't process alcohol differently. I think it is a- You know what I mean? Wait, that's a good question. Studies suggest Jews, particularly Ashkenazi Jews, process alcohol differently due to a genetic mutation, ADHD, something to blah blah.

That makes them more sensitive. I am. I am an Ashkenazi Jew. That's like a genetic- That's a genetic makeup. Okay. There's like Sephardic Jews and then there's Ashkenazi choose I'm an Ashkenazi Joe. That makes

them more sense of alcohol. Though cultural factors also play a role. Those cultural factors might be my parents. Yeah. Yeah. Did you not grow up with parents that were drinkers? That is why I'm such

I'm like maybe a functioning alcoholic, but like I think my parents are too. Well like my parents like I honestly growing up I think I rarely saw I think I saw my dad drink a glass of wine like maybe once a month. My dad never drinks ever. Really? My dad never drank my mom will have a cocktail here and she's Irish.

Like whenever parents you know how like you gift alcohol to people yeah like my parents like like re-gift the alcohol like they don't drink it like they don't touch the my parents just drink every single day. Yeah but like they have like cocktails and that's like their moment to like sit down and be together like my parents like yeah it's a cultural thing for them. Yeah they've good wine like literally collect it. Yeah that's like it's like a hobby and it's not like they're just drinking to get hammered they drink because they like enjoy it. wine that they've collected and they like open a new bottle every week or like whatever yeah they're not like abusing it yeah I guess I guess maybe I'm they work out the next day like they're I know they do

work out you're not I don't know how they do that like I don't know how they do that like I don't know how you wake up in the morning after because I've drank with them and that and I like pretty much end up in the hospital every time I I did one time too almost and then they're like up and Adam in the next morning being like how you doing already worked out already probably had a smoothie i was like yeah they're like what have you guys done today so far we're like i know that's been their new thing all like come down at like one p.m and they'll be like what'd you do today i'm like i literally just stood up from bed like what do you i did today i had so much fun last night oh my god i stopped rubbing it in i didn't early no i'd fun with you no i'd fun with you but after you left it was all a blur like the fun was you were there for the fun was for when

the fact after i left after lauren laughed it all went down it all went downhill all right now we're gonna get into a segment where like we're actually talking about things that matter yes those things that we just talked about did matter we talked about aschkinazi juice as a genetic makeup thank you so real how your beliefs affected the way you process alcohol but like like like i'm so lost all right this is a listener dm i have half of a brain cell guys listen to hallie bachelder listen Listen. Sorry. Hi, Hallie.

Please, I need your advice and some juicy tea to share on extra dirty. I'm a hostess and there's this hot 6-7. Ooh, 6-7. What does that mean? Like he's 6-7? Guys, we're way too old to be making that joke. All right, continue. Hot 6-7 security guard.

So we work attached at the hip every shift. Same entrance, same floor, constant eye contact, insane chemistry. We went out with a big group one night. I blacked out, apparently started kissing. his neck like it was my job what is your job and took him home zero memory just consequences after that work stayed flirty and normal we went on actual date fucked again sober and fully caught feelings because he's hot and i see him more than my own friends now he won't text me but still stands next me or acting like nothing happened i didn't just want to hook up i wanted him to be my hot work boyfriend

and said I got dick silence in eight hour shifts together please advise before I lose my mind damn this is a pickle I would quit I would wear something really hot to work and literally treat him like you have no idea who he is I would do that be so bitchy to him literally just be like oh like give him like more make his job harder other guys even if you're not actually flirting with them just flirt with other guys just in front of him I know this sounds um toxic but like this is what you have to do. Be so bitchy. Be so cun. Look so fucking hot at work. Yeah. Spend an extra

50 minutes on your makeup before work. And then when you tries to hit you up again, you need to stay strong. Like, just so you know, it's over with him. Like, no more. No more. Let's imitate it. Hey, ready? Lipsing this advice sexually. Liv is the girl. And I'm the bodyguard. Yeah, let's roll play. Okay. I would love to roll play with you.

I was going to roll play to the lap. Remember when Hallie was rubbing? I was going to stay here on my show. I remember you were rubbing my leg last night and I literally got horny. I was like stop touching me. I'm like a very physical touch person. You are? You are.

Why is your hand so cold? Oh, because it's on the glass. Okay, live ready? Go. Hey, how you been? Great. Oh, that's good. Okay, do it one more time.

Now you do me. Can you do it to me? Wait, somebody to do me. Are you the girl? I'm the girl. Wait, hold, I need to be serious. Hold on, I'm not you be serious. I'm serious.

Guys, we're a little bit serious. legitimately losing brain cells. All right, Hallie, ready? You be the girl, ready? All right. It's up, sexy. Fuck y'em. Right now?

Fuck. That would work on me. I'm ready now, I'm ready. Not the cheeseettes. This is an AV internet collaboration collab with logo blankets. Oh, that's what it is. I thought it was Louis Vuitton.

Bitch, please. You think I would carry Louis Vuitton? John there's fucking lightning bolts. I don't realize it. Okay, do me. I'm ready. All right, do me. I'm the girl. You just did yours. You lost your chance. All right, ready? All right. Hey, girl.

Your ass looks really good. In that apron. In that thing. This is the face I give Jordan. I was watching you walk to the kitchen and. I want to get up on that fine. That thing. That thing was moving. That's a shame. One of those three.

All right. Let's go into the next one. I think she understands what you do. Also, don't do that. Don't hook up with them again. Please don't hook up with them again, because then you lose all credibility and he's like, oh, it was all an action. Also, he'll probably come back eventually when his dick is throbbing,

but... And don't. Don't do it. Although, like, I probably would. Okay, these are confessions from listeners. I helped a high school classmate smuggle illegal animals. What? What's an illegal animal, like a chihuahua? Yeah.

Like a panther? Probably like a lizard. Like a lizard. Like endangered species? Endangered species. Yeah. What do you mean? Like a rhino.

How do you even do that? Like through the airport security? Can we skip this one? Sorry. Yeah, it kind of feels like a little. Like, just get a dog. Yeah. Like, I don't know.

Thumb was reattached the hand after the accent. Wait. Oh. That was just like a thing. Thumb was reattached. What are you talking? I read it not in order. I'm sorry.

Okay, wait, hold on She's like reading an autopsy report I was reattached Like what? Guys, I was fucked by a toe But the toe is on his hand As a thumb because he had an accident And the thumb was reattached the hand

Shut the fuck out That's the craziest thing I've ever heard of my whole entire life Did it feel good? I'm getting really anxious Ew, it was probably like fat and choking No, no, I'm actually so anxious It probably felt good

Okay You can't skip every confession their confessions for a reason dude it's freaking me out i'm so sorry okay like there was a thumb in your vagina um i mean i mean a toe all right this have you never gotten fucked by a toe i feel like i've got fucked in there at all point okay you yeah maybe who wouldn't you mean if i was by a toe i would know i would know like i would be like oh remember that time i got fucked but of course i remember it was a toe but like maybe they just like slip it in like they're pretending you're like a soccer ball.

What do you mean? Just slip it in. How do you just slip in a foot? No, whatever. We're definitely not doing the same thing. Okay. I rob men nightly at my job. I rob.

That's fine. Do you know what robbing is? Yeah, well, you could have said rub. No. I could have heard rub. Not rob. That's why I was clarifying. Lauren.

Okay. Rob. Rob. I steal from men nightly at my job. Honestly. No, she should. No, we need to go back. What do you mean rub?

Rub it? Like if you're a masseuse. Like she's rubbing men. Or she works at. You thought she said rub? 11. 11. I thought she said rub.

There's rubbers at 11 in Miami. They rub. They come up to you behind you and they rub your shoulders. I thought something else. Oh, like a missile. Why is my hand like? I thought Lauren thought the past tense of Rob was rub. Honestly, I questioned it for a minute myself.

I had to reread it in my head. I would do something like that. All right. So you rob men nightly at your club. Good for you. I love that. Yeah. At your job.

But what is your job? She's taking a lot. I hope you take a lot of money and don't get a pot. Girl, literally go, like, do your thing. Have you ever taken money from a guy? No. Never. I guess that's, like, all we do in relationships, though.

Well, like, in the form of gifts, maybe, and things. And I owe Jordan a lot of money that I'm sitting on. You owe him money? Yeah. I'll, like, go to the grocery store and I'll charge him for half. And then he will go out to dinner and he'll pay. And I'll probably also ask for half. Yeah.

Yeah, grandma. I mean, that's just how it is. But like, you guys are about to be married, like, whatever, everything's half now. He told me that he needs to see six months of bank statements before he agrees to sharing a, sharing a money. What do you mean? I spend a lot of money. It's a problem. Hallie, she spends everything on clothes. Really? Everything. I spend like everything. It's really scary. But I have, like, a lot of my investments, you know? What, your AP? No, no, no, no. Like, I have a lot of my investment accounts, but like, What investment accounts are you fucking talking about? Like, what do you invest in?

Well, I don't know. My dad like trades a lot of my stocks. Oh, yeah, he does. He does. Lauren's dad does day trading. He's like really smart. In the middle of seeing patient. Yeah, in the middle of like day trading.

Hearing a stomach. Like it's actually really funny when I'll like get like random alerts being like something was traded and it's like one o'clock in between a patient. He was like, oh, I'm going to sell that stock. Which by the way, I respect your hustle. Like you have a safety net and your safety net is Jordan. So spend that money, girl. I agree.

I agree. I agree. I agree. I agree. I legitimately think Jordan is literally the best on his job. He's so good. Like, I wouldn't trust anyone else in my money and I never will. Same.

I literally left my old wealth manager for Jordan after knowing him for two months. Yeah. Like he's just like so legit and so good at his job. So good. And so professional. Isn't it crazy how smart you have now? He's so smart. When we met Jordan, her fiance, he was the dumbest guy ever.

I swear. I used to be like, no, no, do, do you. like he was so dumb. He really was. He like, he really was. No, we used to tag team make fun of him. It was really bad. I got really frustrated at one point when he was still in school.

I was like, we got to wrap this up. You got to go into the real world. You got to learn something. Yeah, he was also like in college, I guess. And like only focused on basketball. Yeah. But that's what he does. He focuses on one thing.

He focused in basketball and he worked so hard at basketball and he was like really good for his height and size. Screaming. He was really good for his. height, size, and build. And then he left and he focused on finance. And I was really, really, really good at ultra high net worth. He's really good on that. He is, let me tell you something.

You know, who's money made me a good fucking buck last year. Yeah. I invested all my money with Jordan, continue to. Is this an ad for Jordan? No, literally for new edge. I have made more money. You know, who's not going to be, you know, whose wealth isn't going to be managed by Jordan? Who?

The guy that made $2.5 million. Yeah. He doesn't cut it. No. He doesn't cut it. He doesn't fit the bell. No. Okay.

Next convention. I don't know how we got on this tangent. Okay. I once gave a guy ahead just so I could use his lake house and ride the jet skis. He looked like my ex. That sounds like a... That sounds great. Like a great Saturday.

I feel like a lot of girls. I feel like it's a pretty like bonus that he looks like... Like if you have a summer home, I will sleep with you. It's like the... If you have a boat thing. I don't know if I don't really care about boats. What about a yacht? I mean, I did go yacht shopping with...

his face that we will not name but we talk about him all the time on here and I will say I was aroused after yacht shopping yeah but it was a yacht like I don't want to be on your fucking dingy my ex from high school he like had a fisherman boat and I was like this is fucking sauce like it smells like salmon you smell like salmon and you have cows this all over your hand wait I was talking to someone that went to college with him the other day and he was like my he went to the same school as him in college and he was saying that his ex used to hook up with him with my ex.

And he was like, he had the rep for being like the meanest. Like, he has a horrible reputation at. It's really, your ex-like very religious. Yeah, he's pretty religious, but he's actually the most narcissistic, biggest asshole I've ever met. He was just

like such a fucking loser. I remember my first car I got. I remember the so clear his day. My dad got me a rindover of Oak and I'm so excited about it. And he goes, I can't believe your dad got you that. this is just so like it's disgusting like blah blah and i was like it's my birthday i'm sorry you're fucking weird and you don't have good taste in cars and you have a to coma he was jealous he was jealous he was jealous of you he also didn't like he also didn't like a guy he didn't like me like i've

always had a personality where i feel like i'm kind of like an attention whore a little bit and he he didn't want me to get attention from anyone was he an attentioner did he like attention well he was a horror period he would cheat on me with the most beat fucking chicks did he like attention Sounds like the worst person ever. Like in a room, did he want to be the center of attention? He just, like, had a smug attitude. Like, he was better than anything else. He sounds really awful that you're playing.

You're playing hockey at a D3 school. Like, you're not even that good at whatever you're doing. Like, I can't even hear it. Strangely, are you guys dated? That seems like a... I think we dated because I was, like, a different person in high school. In high school, I hadn't hooked up with anyone. I was very, like, goody-two-shoes.

Like, snorting Adderall to me was really nuts. We used to do that in high school. I really like wish I could go back and see you in high school. Yeah, I honestly really think he like damaged my outlook on men and how I approach him. That's really sad. Yeah, because I, you would hate him. He's 5.7. What?

So he's a dick. He had a big one though. No whore. He had a great dick. And he's 5.7? I'm giving that. I'm like, trickery thinking about him. Like, all right.

My high school boyfriend was so narcissistic and terrible. I just, I mean, like, do you like vet that to age though? Or do you like, because you're, like, because you're, you're, like, you're, still probably narcissistic and terrible. But he was like, so mean to me. Well, clearly he was mean in college too. So it- One time my high school boyfriend was so mad at me because basically he thought this kid at school is flirting with me. Keep mind, this was the sweetest kid ever.

So he sent his friends to go take a baseball bat to that kid's car, ruined the kid's car. So I'm on the phone with the kid. I'm like, because he's like, I'm pressing charges. And I was like, please don't. Like, I was like, please. Like, I'm so sorry. I don't know how this happened. Like, please don't press charges.

I go to my boyfriend's house at the time. He's like, phone. Every time I went over, he'd be like, phone. And he would just go through my phone. I'd be like, yes. He went through my phone, saw that I had been on the phone with him. And he got so mad. And he goes, get the fuck out of my house before I do something I regret.

Like, as if he was going to, like, hit me. What? Yeah, it was insane. So we run outside. My ex-boyfriend from my, I have no pictures of him. Where does he live? I have no idea. He's blocked or everything.

He's like the loser. If you're seeing this, you're such a fucking loser. That's actually, I just, I can't believe you guys dated people like that. It was terrible. I mean, we ended right after that. That was like the final straw. I was like, yeah. But that, but my point is like that shapes you.

Like that shaped, it ruined my next relationship with my great boyfriend, my ex-boyfriend. Yeah, I had a great ex-boyfriend, do you always thought. Yes, he was a sweetheart. Like, my first boyfriend in college was the sweetest kid ever. Like, he was the best. boyfriend and I ruined it because I was so fucked up from my ex like I was so fucked up I just didn't know how to be normal in a relationship it's really sad it's really sad I mean it's better though to do it when you're like 17 18 totally or it'd be better to just walk out of the

relationship in the first place you know but you don't know how to do that yeah also don't have anything to compare it to it so true so you're like oh this is like how you this is love this is love yeah it's like but like I don't think I'm not put up with that now and be like, babe, I'll fucking disturb you. No, of course not. No. We would never put up with that now. I can't make sure I'm being mean to you, Liv.

Yeah, it was crazy. Or you. It was crazy. Or I'm like, that's probably what made me like, I would actually be like, what? That's probably what made me kind of like hard shelled. Yeah. You know, like those, those. What do you mean by that?

What do you mean by that? I have been dating two different guys with the same name, and they're labeled Jake one and Jake number two. Do we know Jake one or Jake Day? whoever Jake one is you should probably go with him. Holly one time, sent me a Snapchat one time like this. And the caption was me scrolling through my list. It's gone extensively longer.

I'm not going to lie. I'm crying. It was a good Snapchat. It was really funny. Like some of these guys, I wouldn't pick them out and align out. Wait, wait, can I look at this? I know that. Can I look at this, Holly?

One time I'd walk past a guy in the street. I was like, Holly, that's the guy. She's like, who? That she had sex up? Yeah. Sometimes I'll reintroduce myself. Can we talk about Lexpro Dick? Like, would you rather be mentally unwell?

Or would you rather, like, be mentally well, but not get, like, not have working, like, not have orgasms or get hard? Because Lexapro. Like, if you were a guy. That was a guy? Yeah. Well, I think it depends. Absolutely. Can I read some of them?

Yeah, read some of the names in my body count list. So here are some of the names on Halle's body count list, okay? Uncle. Hockey. Aristotle poet Henry Hank Glasses

The blonde one Question marks After each one Question mark North Sea Obviously North C's on there Obviously

Did you get to the mechanic yet? Firefighter Firefighter Does that say Tesla? No Machinery Machinery guy What?

The guy that worked on I didn't know that In college. I'm freaking. Yeah. Yeah. That was, my judgment was impaired. We might have the first walk off on extra dirty.

I need to breathe. Wait, I have something in my notes that I wanted to talk about. Okay, then talk about it. This is the place to do it. I think I cut you off, though. I don't remember. My brain's not working, so I won't even be offended. So last night, we were talking about how sometimes I go the Lauren way and I don't

drink, I get a Diet Coke, and sometimes I go the Hallie way and I get a martini. But it's like pretty pretty. Like I'd say it's like 60-40 And Jordan was like You know what it is Hallie is literally like The devil on my shoulder With a little martini

She's like come on live Let's have a good night And then Lauren's on my other shoulder With a Diet Coke And she's like You're gonna hate yourself tomorrow Don't do it And it's just so accurate

And it's like So cute Like I want Minnie Lauren and Holly I want little stuff Let's be like little like things on your shoulder Little like cake toppers I just know that I knew that

you would need more naps today than usual yeah it is dry january so i always do it and i always do it a jordan yes but like in feb like i'll get a drink here and there yeah i can't believe we're not going to get a drink a new birthday do i even need one i act the same do i not act the same yeah how funny was i at dinner i like when you don't drink honestly because when you're like I was like actually crying hysterically. Where were we? At Chey Margo. What do I, where were you saying?

When you drink, you get like anxious. When I drink, I get sick and then I'm no longer fun. And I make everyone's problem. I think you're fun, but I get it. You like want to get an IV? But sometimes you are fun. Sometimes I'm fun. But it's like a treat when you get drunk.

It's like Lauren's drunk. Yeah, like Lauren's drinking. But like also it's so nice in the summer because Lauren can drive the cars. Like we can get home safe. Like there's a D.D. all the time. And like. someone that will like she's like my seeing eye dog like she will lead me to the exit and sometimes i need to be the sober one because otherwise you guys would literally walk into trees there's i would die

i think i'd be fine live would be fine you're fine i'm fine you're fine like i don't black out that was really just targeted at me i rarely like get hammered like if i'm drinking i'll have like a cute two drinks i'll know you're black out when you get home and you're like i'm black out wait and then i start like screaming and throwing my clothes around yeah but like when you're out you're fine yeah um No, the high school friends and college friends. We, I have a question. I have a question. I have a question.

Yeah. What would be worse to you? A guy, your man, cheating on you with a girl or a guy. A girl. Oh. That would be worse? I think I wouldn't take it as personally if it was a guy. Because I'd be like, oh.

I'd be like, oh, you just don't go my way. Like, oh, we can stay friends though. Yeah. You like. If it was a girl, I'd be like, I'm like on myself. I think that she's hotter than me. Yeah. You think she's amazing and beautiful.

I'd be more offended if it was a girl. I'd be more offended if it was a girl. If it was like a guy, like, you know, I'd be like, oh, I can't really blame him. It's the sexuality. Yeah, he's gay. Like you're gay. Like, I became nasty. Woo!

But like a girl? No. You're done. I want to have three somewhat two gay men. I've decided. I think you could probably make that happen very quickly. We can make that happen tonight. I could literally send one text and it would happen.

You could have done it last night. You could have done last night. I could have done it last night. I could have gotten trained by all game in last night. You know who would let you for sure do it? Hunter? Yes. Yeah.

That was the first person. I mean, me and him almost did something like interesting over New Year's. Oh, yeah. Like we almost had like a four or some with one straight guy. His friend was gay and he was looking up with Hunter and we're all in the same bed with a speaker. And I was like, let's get this thing going. My big thing about Hallie is like, I'm crying. My guy was like, if this was me, like I would call my friends the next day,

but I did the craziest thing that's day. Oh, I don't tell them anything. It doesn't tell us anything. And then like weeks later, she'd be like, yeah. By the way. Or like Hunter said something. We were like, what? Yeah, wait.

And Holly said, yeah, by the way. I don't really tell you guys when I hook up with people. Nope. But there's been not much to say having recently. No, but even when you are hooking up with people, you won't tell us. Remember that one time she wouldn't tell us who she hooked up with? Yeah. You wouldn't tell us who.

I was like, Holly, we're your best friends. friends you're like well i forgot it was like i never found out then there's me if i mean i'm obviously in a relationship now but like before if i've been like grazed lips with a man i'd be like guys guess that i did no september was really like i really need to reel it and after september i hoped up like six guys that month or any of them leaked uh yeah so i felt like i was recycling it's good for the environment but headache so bad you have a headache we're almost done you guys have been cracking me out should we talk about the pussy muncher no we just had Oh my God.

Yeah. Lauren got her box munched. Finally. She doesn't like, tell the people why. Tell her friends why you don't like getting eaten out. I don't, I've never liked it. I've just, I don't know why. I've never liked it, ever.

And we were literally sitting at dinner and we were talking about it. And also, keep in mind, our dinners, our dinners are always me, Liv, Hallie, and Jordan. That man comes with us everywhere. He is one of the girls. Yeah, he's the girl, the boom-bo-bo. He's our best friend. He's our best friend.

He's one of the girls. He's best friends with Hallie. He's best friends with Liv. Like, he's just, I said to Jordan, I said, are you going to eat out my friend tonight? Because I texted Lauren a couple weeks ago and I, I just randomly had a thought. And I texted her and I was like, I'm really concerned. Like, can you let Jordan eat you out? Like, I fear you're missing out on like a lot in life.

No, like, it feels like she like wasn't one of us. Right. And so at dinner, I'm like, are you need my friend? Whatever. And Lauren's just saying like, you know, I just don't really like it. And I as a joke, obviously, everything I say is a joke. And I look at Jordan and I go, maybe it's a Jordan issue. And he goes, can I say it?

He goes, what? I used to be numb for eating pussy. We go. We're like, what? Shut the fuck up. We all look at him like this. Well, we look at each other like this. We look at Jordan.

We go, you need to leave. Yeah, that was really. And then I was drinking that night, so I'm obviously being crazy. I'm like, oh my God. And he was best friends with my boyfriend. Like, were they eating pussy together? And then Jordan goes, I'm texting John. And me and Lauren look at each other.

We go, they're probably texting about eating pussy. Wait, remember when Lauren goes, when I hook up with another guy? Yeah. But Jordan was basically like, I used to be known for eating pussy. Like, I eat everyone's because. You know what? He didn't even bother me. Lauren, you looked at me like this.

Nothing bothers you. I was more like, what? Nothing bothers you. No, I was more like, what is he saying? That was so funny. What a funny thing to say. And then now we call him the P.M. Yeah.

The pussy muncher. That was the, I laughed so hard in that moment. Like, oh my God. Do you guys think these guys are hot? Holly's on Ryan. Like, get off Ryan. No, stay on. But now that PM thing is the funniest thing I've ever.

Also, Jordan told my Dorman that he's my brother. Because we thought it would be, my doorman don't see this. We thought it would be like easy. Dorman's an avid follower of actionary. He's easier for him to get up because I'm not supposed to let guests into my gym in my building, but like Jordan, there's no gym in their building. So Jordan comes to my gym.

And I usually go down with him. Jordan's ever asked to come to my gym. But today I was like so not okay. I was like, you just come get the key. So he told my Dorman that he's my brother. And this is a couple weeks ago. Now he's done it a few times. Every time he sees me, he's like, what up, sus?

I'm like, I'm going to text him right now. Why have you never asked to come to my gym? Oh, no. So wait, the next day, like, I was getting my, after this dinner, and now we labeled Jordan the PM, the Pussy Muncher. Yeah. The Liv is literally in the middle of the street, like, running away from him screaming the Pussy, the P. He's chasing me. And George is going, get over here!

He checks me Tuesday at 6.39 a.m. and unsumped it. Why? Because he meant to send it through his, like. Business phone probably. We don't get this picture of us last night. Look at Howie. Like that weird. Oh, no. Because we were on one last night.

wait Jordan's typing oh my god he hasn't slept yet and he's texting you to meet up up what Lauren's face of shock I was Jordan was here I just like

should we have him on I went to bed at one and I'm struggling and I didn't even drink I just don't I don't understand what do I need I kept feeling guilty last night

I kept saying to Holly like I feel bad that I'm not going home she's like why like have fun like you never say out this late it's fine and I was like you know what It is fine. Like, I, oh, I guilt myself.

I'm like, I have to stay on my sleep schedule. I have to go home. I have to do this in the morning. Like, I didn't have shit to do today. Like, it was fine. So I stayed out until four. Ordered a KCDia last night and it was at my door this morning. I go, I have Sana in lap pool.

He goes, lives is closer. He goes, do you swear? Question mark? Yes. He goes, that's a game changer. I'm texting him. No. this is what I mean like we're just bestie

I thought you were further than five minutes who told you that I don't literally don't know this is so funny we can work out together Hallie's trying to hijack my shit what you guys I'm just like offended I didn't know about like you guys were all gonna work out this morning together and no one asked me no I'm Warren

I don't work out with him when I'm working out I also let him you don't spot him no oh my God no we don't work got together we don't even talk he's just in there no I just let I use my key card to let like I would be really inappropriate like when I use my keycard I like swipe him in I'm like you do your thing go you do your thing go you do swipe yeah like a little thub

yeah it's a thob oh she's about the text of you don't need a swipe in a mine we'll see who wins this box like I'm gonna make you I'm gonna make you a mob that I might be taking Jordan away to my gym wait guys no I'm not actually this is I think this is funny no we're we're just

kidding around you guys are so funny guys actually we need to we need a factory reset on all three of us look at me how do we factory it was a factory reset because we're being like we're being too adversarial what's that mean we're not adversarial we're

we're being a little adversarial I don't know what that word means if you explain a little like what do you mean by that you know and like we're just kidding I'm kidding I don't think you are I am kidding oh you're kidding I don't know if you goes to your gym if we're all kidding then we're not being on visitario.

I think it's the way that we sat today. Yeah, I can't see you enough. I know, and it feels like there's distance between us and I'm longing for your touch. Could we talk about? What are we doing tonight? Or after today. So I'm going to go out. You're going out right now?

Probably. Are you going to meet up with Connor? I'm probably going to meet up with Connor. Where are they doing? But like, hopefully he's still awake. I don't know. I mean, I would hope that he's like sleeping. Wait, let's text them.

Let me text him. right now but question for you when you stay out until seven in the morning yeah are you like bounce back the next day or do you like does your sleep get fucked like a few days after i don't have good sleep anyways like how like what's your like you know sleep schedule like every day like what's a good sleep yeah like six hours Lauren do you remember the one time howley some nights like i'll like i'll be charged and say 15 hours yes and howley one time slept until 10 30 and I was I was like, I'm going over. Like, she's not something happening. She's not okay. Yes. I was like, maybe give her another hour. Because Hallie, you always wake up, like, you wake up every few hours and you go on

your phone. So it all like, it always says you were active a few hours ago. And it was 11 a.m. And TikTok and Instagram both said active yesterday. So before midnight. And I like, and I literally was like, Lauren, something happened. I was free. I was sick. I was calling my mom. I was like, what do I don't want to show up at Halle's door? And then she thinks I'm like being insane by showing up at her door. But like, I'm really worried. I didn't know. I was like, give her another hour. And I was on my way over.

I called John. I'm like, John, what do I do? And he's like, go. Go check on Hallie. And I was about to leave my apartment and she texts me. She's like, what? I was like, thank God. Sometimes I'm, well, because I've been taking like, I'm prescribed, but like, I've been taking like a Xanax on a Sunday just to like.

Reset. Reset. Which is probably bad. No, I think it's okay if you're prescribed. I mean, I would just die. Can we tell you? I would just die if I My schedule

Like What did I do? I was in Miami for Basel And I My schedule has been insane Stayed up until 4 in the morning And then I was Actually came home

And was not I don't think I've been busier In my whole entire life Than I am These past three months Like remember that one time I went straight Yes

I went to Miami And then it was in Antarctica And then I went to Boston That was insane Within like five days Yeah. I was like, I'm not okay. My body doesn't know time zones anymore. I don't know how you did that. And you were, were you drinking? Of course I was. I remember, you know, it's the sky blue. You came home. You came home and you were like, fish, I need to come over. It was like a Saturday. Is that when I made you make me chili? Yes. It was like a Friday. She's like, I can't go out. You need to make chili. What should we do tomorrow? I would love to brunch, but like that's just me. Is it going to be snowy? Oh, I should have like this the whole time. It's not. I. I should have this the whole time. It's. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, so Monday we're off. So Monday's, like Monday is a-

Baby, I'm a fucking influencer. Okay, well, I'm off. We're not off on Monday. We're on. We're on. We're always on. I'm off on Monday. So I would like, we should brunch.

Let's do a pastis on Monday. Okay. Woo. Or not show. Which one? I mean, I can text the girl at pastis. Let's do pastis. Yes.

Let's do pastis for brunch. I like au chival for like a dinner. A dinner. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, this is a great episode I think. A great episode. I feel like this is the most raw and authentic we've ever been. I mean, would definitely have been authentic.

I just love being raw. For sure. And authentic. It's kind of like my brand. There's something about being raw and authentic that you don't talk about enough. I feel like people don't talk about how Hallie literally collabed with Sydney, Sweney and Amanda Seik being up. Like, that was insane.

Yeah. That was sick. That was cool. Yeah, it was so cool. Remember last night you were so drunk. People thought it was AI. Hallie was so drunk last night being so funny, by the way. Like, oh my God, Hallie, you were on one last night.

I was dying, laughing the entire time. Yeah. And then you're like scrolling through your reels and like your ads were popping up and you were like, what? What do you do? I like forget I do this as a job. Like, you know, like ads and stuff. I know. I hate listening to myself talk to, which is crazy that this is my job.

Okay, we're going to end this episode. I love all you guys. This was insane and really scary, honestly. And this will be interesting to see how this is all chopped up. As always, you can watch on YouTube and listen to me on any other platform. Any other platform. Any other platform. I hope this episode is going to be interesting.

I'm not going to lie. But I'm very excited for it. All right. Love you guys. Bye. We're going to go. Later.