Extra Dirty with Hallie Batchelder - Coachella storytime: RVs, daddies & shrooms!

Episode Date: February 27, 2025

It's Thursday ladies! This week, Hallie and Lauren reflect on how their going out habits have evolved over the years, so much so that they recently escaped to Connecticut for some much needed relaxation. They dive into all of the lore of their wild Coachella weekend: finessing artist passes, carpet riding on mushrooms with rich daddies, and an unexpected RV. Hallie shares her thoughts on moderation (she doesn’t do it), the inception of her hoe phase, and the trick of compartmentalization after heartbreak. They break down their most chaotic crash-outs over men, the power of indifference, and Hallie's unique bonding experiences with her college roommate. Oh, and a 2 hour handjob to no completion. It's Extra Honest! Follow @extradirty on socials to follow along with Hallie and if you love what you hear, leave a review and subscribe to keep the chaos coming. Love you!

You know, remember I had a panic attack at Doest? Wait, what time was that? And like... What happened when I was back? Okay guys, I'm doing something really fucking stupid right now. We have an emergency debrief situation. Hi, this is Halle from the streets of New York. Hi guys, welcome the fuck back to Extra Dirty. I am here with Lauren today.

I'm making Halle laugh. She's making me giggle because she's in heat. I don't know what's happening. I don't know, I woke up on the right side of the bed. Yeah, you woke up next to me. We just had the most wholesome, kind of wholesome weekend in Connecticut. We decided we both needed to take a break from,

you know, the chaos of the city. I've been traveling so, oh my God, there's hair on this microphone. I've been traveling so much for different types of shit because I honestly can't fathom being in the city during these months. Like, I'm like depressed. It's been so cold.

I can't even walk to work. I've been Ubering every single morning and after work. It's really bad. These are some of the problems to have. Yeah, on my mom's car. Let's talk about our weekend. Where do we start? Let's recap it a little bit.

And then like, let's talk about how we used to have the most feral weekends. I have anxiety when I think back to what we did. We used to be so fucking sick in the head. Well, we're still sick in the head. Yeah, or at least I am but like I feel like we've grown and evolved as how we spend our Saturdays Saturdays in specific. Mm-hmm. I feel like post-college we would go out on Thursday night and Yeah, Friday night wake up Saturday morning Go to a brunch go to an apartment after the brunch. And then get caught at that apartment.

And then get caught at that apartment doing God knows what. Yeah. We actually, I want to get into this. OK. We would go out every single night. And then Friday would roll around. And we were like, OK, like our college friends, like who spend their weekdays normally, they want to hang out with us.

They do. So we would go out with them on Friday night and Saturday we would get fucked up at brunch. Yeah we would and then we would get fucked up at brunch. Someone would have a bag like yeah like there was we'd have baggy brunches. No literally it was fucking insane that we'd go to this one girl's apartment who loved the bag and we would stay there. It was, we called it the dungeon because we would just be trapped within the walls of this one girl's apartment.

All of us would always be like, why don't we like, like why don't we go outside and like, let's go to like a bar. No, we just would get caught in her apartment. She'd only let certain people in there. No one else from the outside world could come in and then we'd wait until she decided what she wanted to do for the plan.

And then we'd go out and do that plan that night. It was always with the same group of guys that were kind of like, not it. No. It was just kind of grungy. It was insane. And it did not help for a dopamine production. No, and then fucking Sunday would come around,

and we fucking hated ourselves. And then we would go to DoEst and feel better no remember I had a panic attack at do us we don't want to switch time was that no the big panic attack when I was like I like and then I hope with what space mm-hmm we've grown so much because this weekend we decided to go to Connecticut and we were like we need a wholesome week I used to like try and beg you to come out to Connecticut and you wouldn't and now you actually enjoy it. You can touch grass out there. Yeah it's really nice. We like you get in touch with your grounded self. Yep. And Paige who we were staying with our

friend Paige is a very grounding and like yeah she's so wholesome. So like we're like you know what we need some Paige in our life right now. So we went out. Her home is like, she's cooking and she has everything you need, like yeast. I would have to go out and like. Thank god the yeast was there. I don't know if I'd be able to stay if the yeast wasn't there.

If I wanted to cook something, I have to go and buy the groceries. She just already has everything. She has the yeast. She builds bread. Yeah. So we went out on Friday night. Yeah well well okay so my boyfriend obviously lives in New Canaan

just like 10 minutes from Paige. So Friday night we go to our favorite restaurant. We go to Elm. Mm-hmm. We have a very nice dinner. Yeah. And then you guys get in a mood. Well she was already in the mood. She was... Paige gets in a mood. Yeah she likes to go out. She can do it one night. One night. And then she's clocked out. You know like then she's like wholesome. And then she's wholesome and she's baking us all these pastries and made us dinner and we ordered in. We had a painting night. There's still paint all over my fucking hands. That was actually so fun. I brought my painting back with me. My mom wants to frame it. Oh yeah. Um but we went out

and we always go to this one bar, which is in Fairfields, Connecticut. No, it's insane. We called the Sea Grape. We go to a Fairfield University bar. It was so much fun. I posted on my story and I go, I'm going to Sea Grape tonight.

Like, let's go to Sea Grape. Two hours before we went. Yeah, we gave people ample time to show up. Yeah. But honestly, everyone I've met there, so kind, so fun, the girls are so pretty, the guys are all kind. Well, it was interesting, we've been there three times.

Really? Yes, I can count it on one hand, three times. Obviously three is less than five, yeah. Okay, maybe four. Okay. I don't know. We've been there. Well, because Brandon used to go there. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So Brandon used to go there. We visited him. We went. That was when you were on the come up. You were big. On the come up. It's like an origin story. Yeah.

You were on the come up. I just started social media, is how I'd phrase it. So you definitely had fans. We went to a college party when he still went there. Then last time we went went and it was like You were you were being I had never seen anything like it. It was insane But then the podcast came out and then this time I was time was in creep I was getting some also and I don't know what to do. Like I don't know really and I'm like, look there's Hallie

But it was like the least wholesome night ever And I'm like, look, there's Halle. Go get her. No, I love it. I love it. It was fun. But it was like the least wholesome night ever. But we started off wholesome. We just got a little feral. We only were there for 20 minutes and then we went to bed early. And then we woke up, we got our coffee.

We did all the basic bitch shit we needed to do. We baked cinnamon rolls. And we painted, which was fun. That was so much fun. And then yeah, Remy came, it was fun. Well, it was like the perfect group. Like I love everyone. Like everyone's such a good time.

No, yeah, it was a good group of people. Yeah. And that was our weekend. And that was our weekend. What else happened? And we will be going back soon. Wait, should we talk about Elm last time? Oh, the last time I was at Elm.

So it was with Paige again, and we were trying to post this TikTok where it included me drinking and downing my beverage. And she kept not liking the takes that we were having. So we kept redoing the TikTok. And I was downing, I think I downed four Cosmos until she was like, you know that one, that one's cute like upload that and By the time I was done like I was I've never been more blocked out my whole entire life She kept begging me to take her home. Like how have you ever seen me that drunk?

No, I've seen you like cross-eyed, but I've never seen you like ill like I lost color in my face One of Jordans like family friends was there and they she came out to me and she's like honey like is your friend okay you never told me that that was um I think it was like shawnee she's like is she okay and I was like she's just a little drunk no like it was it was past cross-eyed you weren't even cross-eyed at this point you were like I was like I was spinning yeah and then you went to the bathroom she came back with more life in me a whole new person. She's like should go to the secret Yeah, I could have written that like taking that say cheese at that point. I came back and I was like zipper

I was like, yes Like which you'd never like you never get sick from alcohol. No never not even the morning after no That's what happens when you don't like for cause. The cosmos kind of like has something against me. Like there's like too much like acid, acidity in it. Well, yeah, there is, lemon. But also like the Elm, their drinks are fucking deadly. Powerful. They're so strong, they're so big.

And then the guys are just, the waiters are just like, you want another one? And I'm like, you're not even done with your first one. And they're like, can I get you another one? No, but it was fun. It was wholesome. And I like love when Paige is in a going out mood. Yeah. And I also like love when she's in a wholesome mood. She's just so cozy. She's a cozy person. Yeah. I honestly like, yeah, whenever we go to Connecticut, we have that one night. But like, everyone's aware

that it's like, we're in Connecticut, and it's like 1230. And it's time to go to bed. So I'm not like, like when you're in the city and it's the 4 a.m. and I'm begging people like, please, can we please go to bed? We've gotten so much better about that. Like I release you of your duties all the time. Cause I'm a single girl in New York City and you've been in a relationship for four years now.

Fair. Five years. You're about to get engaged soon. I'm like, you don't have to be my plus one to this thing. Yeah, but you also let me, like you go alone. You're OK with going alone. I can go. I've made friends. Yeah, I have other friends besides you.

Who? Ma'am them. Ma'am them. No, but like the other night. Yeah, we were at dinner. We're sitting there. It's like me, Liv, and Halle. She's like looking at me, and she's like, you can go home.

You can go. I was like really? I just had a gut feeling. I called the fact that I was probably gonna have sex that night and I was just like I'm on a mission and I honestly can't have you interrupt. I never interrupt. Halle was the sex good? It was the sex was good. I promised him I wouldn't talk about him online, which I do respect. Whenever a guy asked me point blank, don't talk about me online, I respected. He's very private.

Which is how crazy. Think about all the guys that I haven't talked about online. Are there? No, I'm so private, you know that. I can't tell if you're fucking with me or not. Some guys you don't even know about. Oh, that's so true. No, you don't, I can't tell if you're fucking with me or not. No, like some guys you don't even know about. Oh, that's so true. No, you don't like, I'll say,

oh, do you remember this guy? And you were like. No, that's like the weirdest thing to me. Like Halle, like won't help. And I don't know, I don't think you do it. Like you just like don't talk about it really that much. When I know about a guy is when I'm with you and there's a guy, but otherwise,

like I don't know what the fuck you're doing Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday. Like you came over the other morning. Yeah. And she walked into the front door. And I go, I have a friend over, just letting you know. And she was like, huh, okay. I was like, who?

Who? She walked in and was like, oh, him. I was really excited to meet him. Yeah, yeah, no, it was fun. It was funny. Yeah, he was great. Nice, nice boy. Nice man. Nothing bad to say. App, he was great. Nice boy. Nice man.

Nothing bad to say. Appropriate age group. Yeah. But yeah. My bedroom right now is kind of a crime scene. I think we left right after that. We did. Yeah.

You didn't do your sheets, did I? Yeah, I do. I spilled a whole bottle of lube all over my sheets. Sally. I introduced him to lube. He had never used it before Yeah, yeah, I think I've used it like once. Why? My mouth gets so dry. I think I'm dehydrated. Well, probably. Oh, maybe that's why I don't like to give a head.

I never drink water. It was like 7 a.m. And I just like poured, I like unplugged the whole bottle of lube. It like broke, so it's like all over my bed now. Wait, so you gave head with lube? Yeah. Silicone, not silicone based, water based. Okay, if it's silicone based, does it taste bad? No, because it will give you UTI. Water based is organic.

And it's better for your body. I'm learning so much. Thank you. And it's better for your body. Silicone based, it will give you T.I. Noted when I go and buy lube next time. Also, it doesn't work in the shower. But that's another point.

But no, it's fun. Will you see him again? I don't know. I never know. I think you will. Maybe. I think you will. He seemed really nice.

Yeah, but I've been sore all weekend. I feel like I haven't worked out in so long. So anything that has to do with like hip mobility like I'm out for the count Like I think they're dislocated No, literally he was so impressed by the lube I was like, what are you don't you jerk off? I'm confused. We know he jokes. We know he jerks off. Okay, we promised him we won't talk about him. I feel like that was pretty ambiguous, no? Right? That was ambiguous. What else do we want to talk about today? Hmm. You had a haircut this weekend?

It was like really like everything at page had beauty she fed us art dairy boy no she like she really used her mother she's mother no yeah she um her hairdresser came over now I have a fucking con-ass bob looks really good I'm gonna go to her but also like I'm taking a break from extensions right now although I feel like I'm taking a break from extensions right now Although I feel like I still need them. No Okay, like you you like maybe for fullness, but like you don't need them cuz your hair's gonna get so full without them Yeah, like just let it get super healthy. Yeah, like you did with your nails

I think I don't want to get extensions until like the summer maybe or even stagecoach Why don't you get those like row things? Like you'd like clip them in and you just use them once in a while. Who's putting that fucking fuck shit in my hair? I will do it. Production. Production.

Yeah, no, like I can't even like tie my own shoes. Now that we're like on the topic of like stagecoach and Coachella or whatever. We just filmed a little YouTube video for the Unwell page and they basically brought up a bunch of my old outfits and I had to rate them one to five olives. Five olives being the best, one olive being the absolute worst.

And it did remind me the Coachella era with the daddies that were in our life at this time was fucking insane. Yeah. And you just kind of like coasted. You had a full fucking boyfriend and we were like popping your fucking pussy. You were riding the coattails of these trips. Yeah, I like always did though.

And the guys were always so confused. They're like, you have a boyfriend? I was like, yeah, I'm just here for her. But like they, so our one Coachella trip, I remember it was post COVID. And it like everyone was so locked up in their own homes and hadn't been out in a while. It was the first Coachella where you could go out

and I feel like everyone went. And also I feel like it was the first Coachella where influencer culture was also a major thing there. So it was very interesting to see everyone on the grounds and how they acted. We went with these guys. We weren't hooking up with any of the guys. Yeah there was four of us. There was four of us. Yeah me and my two college friends and Lauren and all models. All models. And we

were at this beautiful mansion. Billionaires. There was dinners. There was everything. But we weren't allowed to stay in the home Of the mansion because we weren't talking anyone off. No, they got us an RV. They got us an RV Yeah, they put us in the back before of us and in like a driveway. Yeah Holly thinking back like that's insane. That was in they were like, yeah, these four bitches aren't putting out So let's put them in the RV No, we did not know we did not know that prior showing up. We didn't know that I have videos with RV So did they buy our flights? Yeah

We had VIP artists guest passes like they were plugged in with all the DJs We're going to all the sickest after parties, I think we got the royal treatment. But little do we know that every fucking influencer and their mother also got the royal treatment. The artist section, remember how packed it was? They must have changed it after that one year. Yeah, I think, well, I also remember I was working at UTA at the time,

so the guys that we were going with, they were like, oh, you already have a pass. So they gave all of you, I had my assistant pass, whatever I got, which was like GA, and they got you guys artist passes. So that first night, I had to figure out a way to get an artist pass, and we ended up, you don't remember this?

No. So we show up and I'm up, you don't remember this? No. So we like show up and I'm like, I have a VIP pass because I got it from work and you guys all had artist passes. So that first night when we got there, we went to some party, I forget where it was. Yeah. And somehow we ended up at Tyga's house.

We went to this very LA-esque pre-Coachella party. It was like an opening party. There was a DJ. Everyone and their fucking mother was there. We ran into all our friends. I totally forgot about this. And Tyga was there. We went home with Tyga.

And we were supposed to meet up with our friends at Tyga's. And he was like, and they were like like we're gonna meet you there and they never came and I remember like we were sitting in like Tiger's securities like Lamborghini on that wasn't a security that was his agent who was also Doja Cats agent and that's who ended up getting me an artist pass he like put my name down the next day and I went and got a new pass. And the daddies that we were staying with, they were like, wow. They were like, they were so impressed. They were like, damn girl, like you actually figured it out. I was like, yeah.

But I remember like thinking while sitting in the back of the Lamborghini, whatever, on the way to Tyga's house. I was like, what what the fuck are we doing? Like what are we doing? We need parents. Like we need supervisors. We need chaperones. That was actually really scary. No that was like really, we were so naive. I like pride myself of being like a bossing girl that's like the least naive person ever and like can pick up on like maybe like warning signs around me. But like I mean we were good like we still like no one did anything we just went kicked it with Tyga and left got an artist pass out of it thank you Tyga thank you bye no yeah that was insane I think we tried to go

to like we tried to go to the grounds one day yeah and we hated it so much so that literally all the rest of Coachella me and Halle just spent by the pool. Well, because they had a beautiful mansion. Yeah, and they brought one of the DJs. They would let us. Oh, yeah. I don't think I've consumed more mushrooms than that one weekend. No, I think that was the last time I did it. I got really scared going through the grounds. I felt like I was on the magic carpet, like a risen magic carpet.

Yeah, like I was floating through the crowd. Yeah. Well, we like accidentally took too many mushrooms and there's like a rose magic carpet. Yeah. Like I was floating through the crowds. Yeah. Well, we accidentally took too many mushrooms, and there's a rose garden there. So we sat there for hours. We didn't see one set. We didn't see one set. No, wait. We didn't see.

Now that I'm thinking about it. We actually did. We saw a Meg and the Stallion, because one of the old daddies was bussing down to Meg and the Stallion. She was the last set of the whole weekend. The whole, yeah. And yeah. We didn't see a single set.

No, but we did see black coffee for like, literally 19 times. In that airport, there was like this one after party we went to. Oh my god, that was so fucking sick. There was two after parties that we went to. One, it was a private airport, private jet airport. It's so sick. And I'm trying to remember what the name of it was. It's this like, it's this specific company or like music company and they take it over and it's like super private. Like 200 people. Yeah. And it's like risen, so there's like a high rise,

and the DJ is playing out into the, where all the airplanes are parked. Yeah. And you're just dancing around the private jet. No, it was so, like, it was so sick. But I think Black Coffee was playing that night. I think Black Coffee was playing too. That was just funny, cause like, it was just like us,

my college friends, you, and this one daddy that was like the leader of the daddies. And he would only hit on one of my college friends, you, and this one daddy that was like the leader of the daddies and he would only hit on one of my college friends and the rest of us were like, yes, we're safe. We're like not the ones getting hit on. It was none of our characters to really act like that. No, but she wasn't like flirting back. He was just really into her. He like really wanted her. Yeah. He was like obsessed with her calves. Yeah, he had like a calf fetish. He has like big calves himself.

Maybe that's why. Yeah, he wants a baby with big calves. That's disgusting, Lauren. That's a diabolical sentence. But yeah, that was our hotel experience. I just remember like, there's more. There's more? I'm like remembering so much right now.

OK, give it to me. Do you remember that house that we went to? So one of the after parties was at the- Remember? We were in line. Yes. That was the after party that I'm thinking about. This is what I was talking about with the influencer scene

back in the day, which I also, as an influencer now, I just can't imagine acting like this. We'd be in this massive line of people, hours and hours of people waiting. And people would just be yelling out their follower count. They'd be like, I have 300k, I deserve to get in. Don't you remember that? That's one of the only things.

To be fair, it was Solomon playing at, it's one of the most, mm-hmm. Remember that one that we went to in the morning? That was the same one. Okay, this is insane. I wish, I need to find videos of this, and I'll give it to you, Marshall, to see. It's fucking insane.

It's one of the most beautiful homes in Palm Springs that they do these buyouts of. And we showed up. You had, I don't know, like 3,000 followers at the time. Yeah, we weren't in a golf cart. We weren't in the back. Yeah, we were nobody. And all of these fucking influencers and celebrities

are basically just calling out their follower count. And they're all one-upping the other. Yeah, they're like, I have 5 million. Everyone's like, what? Fuck you, I have seven. Wait, didn't I like? Wait, I feel like I did something kind of crazy to get in.

Well, you, me and you, one thing about us is we know who to talk to. Like, we're not gonna, like, you, somehow, I've eyed the one bald man. I remember this. And he was like, you. And he was like, you girls. And so he put me, like, they were like,

it's over capacity, done, everyone leave, like, get the the fuck out of here I wonder how we were standing for him to call us out like I think you were giving him fuck me all you have to do how he was giving him fuck me eyes he was like yeah her I want her and he put me you and your two college friends on the back of a go-kart and drove us around the back mm-hmm and we got in for the final seconds of Solomon playing. It was insane. And then Solomon was like, OK, I'm doing an after-after party on a beach.

It was also kind of like at a house. Yeah. It was like. It was all sand in the back, though. And everyone, there was fire pits. And people were staying there until like 9 AM. 9 AM. They were still going.

Yeah. And we left around like, it was insane. We left around like 7 a.m. 9 a.m. They were still going. Yeah. And we left around like, it was insane. We left around like 7 a.m. I think, or 6 a.m. Okay, thinking back, that's like one of the highlights of my life. I know. I know.

That we totally forgot about. Yeah, I'm like, wait a minute. Me. I'm like, I fucking hated Coachella. We should go back to Coachella. But just for the after party. If that was like the setup though, like I would do that again.

Yeah. But like less RV. The RV was diabolical. The RV was insane. And the only time we were let into the real house was after all the models had left. Yeah. Remember we stayed for like an extra day

and we could sleep in the actual bedrooms. Oh my God, I do remember that. That was so embarrassing. The RV was like a pivotal point in my life. No, that was a fucking, we were humbled. We showed up so excited with our full fucking chest. And then we looked at all the models' chests and we're like, you know what?

We're going to sit this one out. Honestly though, great connections. That we networked. Because we see a lot of them, we still see a lot of them in New York and like they love us. And we made friends. We made friends.

We made friends. We're not shallow ass bitches. No. We love a good human connection. That's what I mean. Like a lot of the people that you see brought on, or a lot of the girls that are brought on trips, they kind of like take it for granted. And we don't.

Yeah. You're like, you're networking. You're getting contacts. I had like five business meetings after the Coachella trip. Literally. I was trying to open up a club with one of the guys. He was like, I want my own gospel.

And I was like, OK. You know who hired me? Literally, you love gospel so much. Back then I did. I still do. We haven't gone to gospel in so long. I still fucking love gospel. Have we grown out of gospel?

No, let's go this weekend. Let's go to Graydon. Yeah, has he been there? I don't think so. I don't think they let him in. Why? You don't think they would or you think they haven't? I think we tried to go once and they didn't let him in.

Okay. Because we're like, you're a guy, pay $5,000. And he's like, what? No. No. We don't. I mean, I just don't think girls should have to pay at5,000 and he's like what no no we don't yeah I mean I just don't think girls should have to pay clubs to be honest I think it's kind of rude to assume that we would it's rude to make a girl pay like that's not like for the girls no we used to like go out with like one of your one of our friends and

we'd all be like yeah like Tommy I got it and then we'd all wake up with the hey can you Venmo me like that like nothing gives me the ick more when a guy Vemo requests me. After telling me you're gonna be fine, like don't fucking do that. That was a scheme. That was robbing us. That was his fucking bit every single time.

You guys are good, don't worry. No, no, no, we got you, we got you. And then he'd be like, could you please pay me $427.32? Yeah, what the fuck? And we're like, what? What? Like I wouldn't have gone if I knew

that I was gonna have to fucking. But he knew that, which is why he wouldn't wait to tell us. That was our mistake. Yeah. And he would like chase it down too. If you weren't paying it, which it would take me like two weeks until a paycheck.

And he'd be like, when are you paying me? And I'm like, fuck. I wonder how he's doing. He might be at gospel right now. Yeah. Yeah, I don't know. He like lived there. I've also slept with this man. I should not be be might be at gospel right now. Yeah. Yeah, I don't know. He like lived there. I've also slept with this man. I should not be bemo-ing him for anything. Yeah. He should be

bemo-ing me for compensation. For blessing him. Yeah. That's prostitution, but like um, but yeah. You got with him when in college? In college. What were you like in college? Because we weren't friends when you were in college. Or I didn't know you. I was kind of like worse. Than what? Than I am now. In what way? I thought a lot less about consequences of my actions and I was a lot more impulsive about my decision making.

Really? And I was kind of like a threat to society. Oh my God, I was like, to who? To myself. Do you think that we would have been friends in college? Yeah, I would say I was pretty cool in college. I had a good friend group and I had a good boyfriend. I wasn't in a sorority.

Did you have sororities at uni? Yes, but they all got kicked off pretty much when I was there, but I didn't have a good GPA. I didn't know you have to go to class in college college. I was just like I thought it was like the movies No, I literally thought it was like the movies like you didn't have to go to class It was like a suggestion basically and so my GPA my freshman year we I was on trimester So it was like you would only take three classes a term. I got two C minuses and an F So my GPA was like a.9.

Ooh. Or like a.09. Something insane. It was like a C minus a D and an F. I don't think my freshman year grades were very good either, but I think I picked it up after I quit tennis. No, but they were so bad. They were like, you can't rush.

And also I was kind of blacklisted. This one girl thought I like hooked up with her boyfriend, or her ex-boyfriend. I was controversial during the rush process, apparently. That's what I learned after. I was definitely, I think I was blacklisted from all the sororities before like, before I was even called out on campus.

I was blacklisted from one by one of my teammates, which is insane. That's like kind of rude. Yeah and she was like pretending to be my friend. I like know this girl don't I? No I think you would have hated me in college. I was like a heroin chic like I went to rehab I wasn't like making good grades and I was like super unstable. I was like really pick me. I think you would have hated me. You were pick me. I remember I first met you and I visited Bucknell when I hooked up with That guy that

Yeah, we're in a good version now. Yeah But like did I because when you came to visit I like I have tennis practice in the morning. Yeah Cuz I like what do you do? I know and I remember walking. I thought you were like I thought you were really cool I was like excited to meet you but I couldn't because I had fucking tennis. Yeah, you made that known. Yeah, because just in case, hey, I played D1. I'm a D1 athlete. Yeah, there was nothing D1 about anything I did

besides hooking up with people in college. That was the only D1 sport I was active in. Other than that, I was a dear on ice when it comes to athletics. Really? Yeah. Well, I can't do anything else. I'm not fast or courted.

I can only play tennis. You have to be really fast to play tennis. You would think. I'm really fucking slow. I can just read the court really well. So I would get there before I had to run really fast. And if I did have to run really fast, I just wouldn't go for it. I'll get the next one.

I'm not in my working out era right now. You were in a big workout era. I don't do anything in moderation. I'll get the next one. I'm not in my working out era right now. You were in a big workout era. I don't do anything in moderation. I've realized that about myself. I don't want to stop or find a middle ground in anything healthy or productive. So when I'm in a working out era, I'm doing three classes a day.

With 50 pound weights on her back, sandbags. No one remember, Nantucket. Yeah, I worked out with Halle and I fucked up my neck for a month. Actually the whole summer. I was jacked. Yeah you were like working out with Jordan like Jordan was keeping up with you. No I was like I'm like pretty athletic though when I like get into my athletic era. You're strong. When I stop I'm not strong anymore. I was saying you're still strong. like if you like grab me what? When do I grab you if you were to grab me no yeah, but those are my nails. I'm mighty I have a sleepers built

Sleepers oh again or again. I have a sleeper chest. Yep in a sleeper build. Yep sleeper tits and sleeper build I also have like short fused so like I feel like I'm working out I'm like I can like get my adrenaline going really quickly. Interesting. I hate working out. You hate working out. I don't know what you do classes. I do when I do do solid core and Pilates and you do SLT, right?

I do like body rock, but it's 40 minutes. So it's perfect for me. Cause if anything after 40, I'm like, get me the fuck out of here. No, I agree with that. I kind of wish like, I think 40 minutes is like all I need yeah to tone up. Yeah I also have just PTSD from like working out for like so many years for sports like you don't find it enjoyable. You find it a chore. I find it a chore.

Imagine someone telling you like you have to sprint until you throw up like yeah you'd probably hate it too. I'd be pissed. I actually like don't know like we never really talk about this stuff. We never talk about like our college selves. I just feel like when I entered college I had a boyfriend and then within the first two weeks I found out he cheated on me. And after that I just kind of saw it red and I said I don't have any trust in these men people and I'm just gonna be like a fucking stone cold bitch and compartmentalize all my feelings, put them in a box and see what the whole life is like.

That's probably the best way to do it. That's the best place to do that is college. Yes, I definitely went through a lot of trial and error with how I conduct myself in like in the social scene. I mean, you also have to remember, like I went to an all girls Catholic school. And then I went to a co-ed college where I'm living with guys now.

I didn't know what to do with all these dicks in my face. You're like, give me all them. I did nothing in moderation. Literally nothing in moderation. So I just thought it was like, I thought it was like a cool thing to do, but then I shortly realized I was kind of like a fleshlight with a beating heart.

Just insane to say. Yeah, it's probably not a realization. I've calmed down a lot since college, but also I didn't have a lot, I've shown you guys that I've fucked up with in college. Yeah, but like they were the guys that went to your college like you really picked the best that you could Know maybe some of them were really janky some of them are really bad and like I used to have four ways with my roommate All the time. That's the funniest fucking no, no, no

This is the funniest shit that I've ever heard because it's just so shocking to me like Hallie Can you please know please tell them? My first breakup with my college boyfriend, I was like kind of heartbroken. I didn't know how to navigate the new space, didn't really want to get with anyone else. I remember it was summertime in my roommate and I was like, I haven't had sex with anyone else

since like this one guy. And my roommate at the time was like, this one guy was hitting on me. So I like was hitting it off with this guy for Gowee weekend on Nantucket and he was super hot, played the cross, like totally my speed. And I was like, I'm scared to go out with this guy. Will you do it with me? So she did it with me.

And after that, we just like thought it'd be fun to have like four sums for like the rest of our college experience. Like I was insane. Hallie told me that if she found a guy one night, she would tell her roommate, she'd be like, all right, I found a guy. You have to find someone. We have to go back together.

And if her roommate found a guy, she would look at Hallie. And Hallie was like, yeah, I would pick out the first guy I saw and be like, you. You're coming with me. Someone at arm's length. I'd be like, all right. Because they had to have sex together. We had two twin beds in the same room.

And we put our Marshall speaker in between us. OK, well, you guys weren't having foursomes. You guys were just having sex in the same room. I know, but what do you even call that? Like roommates? Is that like a universal college experience, where you just have sex in the same room? I think it.

I think, yes. But we were so in Simpawtico. I had the best sex playlist ever. I wouldn't say it's a universal experience where like you're like okay like you found one I have to find someone but I think it is universal reversal in the sense that like everyone's like had sex with like in the same room as their college roommate. No but I've had sex in my I've no no no no no wait yes my answer is yes I've had sex in my college dorm room while my roommate was in the room, but she wasn't also having sex.

You know what I mean? Oh, we would like line it up where we're all just having one good time. I don't think that's universal. Why, that's like friendship to me. Yeah, that's friendship. That's a hundred, like kindness. Like she's a lifelong friend.

No, like it is kindness. She is still my friend to this day Don't know if she'll come on the podcast because I think she wants our identity. We'll put her to ski mask She has she's craziest fucking stories she Like her James Franco era in saying that's a whole episode That's like she like needs to come on and we put her, you're right, let's put her in a ski mask. We'll like fuzz out her face at the same time and we'll really lower her voice.

No, that would be hilarious. That would be insane. But she has so much lore, it's insane. I was so different in college, like with guys, like you would never expect it. I was like so pick me. You were pick, I was pick me. Like with guys, I was like, literally can you pick were pick me? I was pick me. Like with guys. I was like, can you pick me? Oh I wasn't like that. I was pick me with like, I wasn't maybe I'm just like

Leo. I'm not pick me. You were like I'm chosen. I'm the best. You were like I'm not even pick me because I'm already chosen. Yeah but I am. I actually really have funny stories that like you also don't know about but like Emily has told you a few of them. Remember, wait can I say this first? Yeah. We're talking about like our college days. Yeah. I visited your college. Yes. And remember I like hooked went home with that guy. The born-again virgin. Yeah he's a born-again virgin I think after we hooked up. Yeah. And he put on that movie. What was the movie? It was like you were there. It was How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days. Yeah.

And I just gave him a hand job for like two hours. For two hours. And he like didn't finish. Why? And then we went to sleep. He was thinking about like, he was trying to be holy? No, I just, I don't think he liked me. But he wanted the hand job.

And I said, my hand is at your service were you like watching the TV like the whole time but like how to lose a guy in 10 days 10 days is crazy it's like a little rom-com 10 days lose a guy in 10 days and 10 days that was insane yeah but I didn't see that all weekend he was cute he was really cute he was on the lacrosse team that was like my type. That was your type. Still is. Like a skinny, agile lacrosse player.

Yeah. Yeah. My type was like football boys and basketball boys. I was like, so my freshman year I also came in with a boy. I feel like every girl comes into college with a boyfriend. Yeah. And if you don't. It's the dumbest thing ever, by the way. Like, don't go into college with a fucking boyfriend.

But to be fair, my boyfriend threatened me and was like, I'm never going to talk to you ever again, like if we break up right now and you go in. So like, I was like, didn't want to lose him. So that's why I went in with him. And then my first day of class ever, I got sat next to this really hot senior and I was like, yeah, okay.

Yeah. And that's all she wrote. And then I ended up dating him. No, yeah. Wait, you dated a senior? Yeah. So I was hooking with seniors too when I was a freshman. And I feel like that was the cunty thing to do.

That was sick. No, like- If you were a freshman, it looked really bad on the seniors part. I remember being a senior girl and being like, looking at my guy friends that were hooking up with freshmen I was like oh my god. You just think the seniors are so cool when you're a freshman no matter what the fuck they look like you're just like I'm hooking up with a senior boy. He was like the captain of the football team. They could be the most beat fucking people ever. No mine was hot. Mine was really hot. I was looking I was on beat But I was hot but not a nice college you had a nice car. Yeah, I didn't okay

You you win? Yeah. Yeah I used to set my alarm because the seniors would go to like a bar at Bucknell like freshmen juniors Like if you were senior you're going to a bar if you're a freshman whatever you're going out to a club and I club I mean a house and I used to set my alarm I would go to sleep at like 1 and the bar would close around like 2 2 30 I would set my alarm to like wake up yeah for his text to be like you up I'm like yeah I'm I'm up. Why? Yeah, you're like, what do you mean? Like nonchalant?

Yeah. You're like, what? What are you doing? You're like, I've been hanging. You want to hang? What do you text? Do you like clockwork and be like, you up? Yeah, he would just like, are you up?

I'm like, yeah. And then we were also in the same class together. So we would like sit. Like, it was just so weird. But he wanted nothing to do with me. Classic. Classic. Classic. I can nothing to do with me, classic. Classic. Classic.

I can't imagine you getting your heart broken. We were talking about this the other day. I haven't. You don't crash out over guys. No. And I do. You watched me crash out. Wait, should we talk about our crash outs?

With men? Yeah. Yeah, let's talk about it really quickly. Yeah, yeah, you go first. No, you have to talk about mine. I'll talk about yours. OK, OK. I just became friends with Halle. She invited me to her beautiful Nantucket home.

I got so excited. I was like, oh my god, it's going to be the best weekend. My girlfriend, I show up. She's fucking crashed out over this man that she didn't want a month prior. Like, she was like, didn't want anything to do with him. She's like spending a lot of time in her dark basement, like on her phone.

It was COVID, what else was I to do? We're meeting new people. We weren't, but like you also, he was trying to like get you back like the month before and you were like, no. Yeah, no. And then all of a sudden now she wants him, he doesn't want her.

She's reading every text he sent her. You don't wanna do anything. I was crying a lot. You were crying a lot. I didn't know what to say because I like. You were like, this is so embarrassing. You need to pull your fucking shit together or I'm not gonna be friends with you anymore.

Like, okay, I probably would. She almost like. Yeah, you were like, what are you doing? Like, I wouldn't go out. Like, I wouldn't go out with you. You were like, we're going out. And I'm like, I don't. Didn't wanna go out. I don't wanna talk with you you were like we're going out and I'm like I don't didn't want to go out I don't want to

talk nothing and it was but it was like that was the first time I I don't really think I I've never like seen that before like all my friends in college kind of like I saw like one of my friends crash out over a guy but like no one paid at any mind yeah with you I was like it was just us two for like a week. So I was like, I don't know how to help you. Yeah, no. It was kind of embarrassing. Also, I've had a couple of crash hats over guys.

There was one guy that used to be so mean to me. And I would just be like, but I was so aware of how mean he was. Yes. You would look at me and be like, this isn't right. And I was like, yes. No, she was like, yay. She's like. She's learning. Learning, maybe some self-awareness. And I'd be like, this isn't right. And I was like, yes. No, she was like, yay. She's like. She's learning.

Learning, maybe some self-awareness. And I'd be like, how do I get to his house later? I was like, fuck. I was like, the subject is aware of what's going on. So you were like, yay. Maybe she's going to make strides to be better. And I'd be like, this just makes me want him more. You were like, literally, how much does Uber cost?

No, yeah. He'd be like, hey. And I'd be like, what does this mean, cost? No, yeah. He'd be like, hey, and I'd be like, what does this mean, Lauren? Yeah, I'm like, what the fuck? Yeah, that was crazy. And then with you, your only crash, I was when you're now soon to be, hopefully, husband,

didn't want to date you because he was still in college because he's a baby. Yeah. Wait, can we clarify? Jordan's not, he's barely younger than me. He's like six months younger than me, but he re-classed twice for basketball. So he's two years younger than me in school, which is a lot when you're in a college,

as a sophomore guy and a senior girl, which we didn't date until he was a senior. So it wasn't that bad. And it was COVID. So I wasn't doing anything anyway. So you're like, oh, might as well do him. I might as well go to Bucknell.

I might as well. You were going to Charleston. Well, that was his master's. That's different. He had already graduated. Thank God. I would go to Charleston. That was fun.

But when he was at Bucknell, I would show back up and I'd be like, hey. I'd go and see old professors and be like, hi. No, that's insane. Like, what the fuck are you doing here? You were hanging out with the sophomore girls that were now seniors that you knew? Yeah.

There was only like two though, because there was one on the volleyball team that I was friends with and then one other one. The rest of the girls hated me. No, they didn't hate me. They were just like, damn, you got him. You got him, yeah, Jordan's such a good boy. Yeah, but I did crash out over him.

Yeah, he didn't want you. Yeah, well, okay. It's not that he didn't want me. He got his heart broken. Oh yeah, by his ex. By his ex. That hooker. She like, he like,

How did you? She, wait, this is actually. Were we passed by her in the street in New York? I had no idea it was her, and then I was like, wait, I passed her? I was like, fuck bitch, come back! Like, look at me. We like walked by and she was like.

Had no idea that was her. And Dora was like, hey. She's so underwhelming. No, like, we like two ships in a night. Yeah. We just walked past her so nonchalantly She noticed us Yeah

But no he got his heart broken so he didn't want to like get into another relationship and then He was trying to make that like he was trying to like get me to like get the hint Yeah, so I was like how you like I was like Jordan like I'm gonna drop Halle off like do you want me to come over after? He's like no. No I actually don't. No I was like what? I was like Halle and then he like yeah and then and then you know what best thing I did and girls this is advice best thing I did it was being like okay fine and then I was like we can be friends and I left the island and I kept getting calls after that he was like wait I was like, we can be friends and I left the island and I kept getting calls. After that, he was like, wait. I feel like it's me. I feel like it's so easy to play mind games

like that with men. If you act like you don't like give a fuck, like indifference. Indifference is so. Is way stronger than hate or any reaction. What, we read this the other day. The opposite of love is not hate. That was in Desperate Housewives.

We read this the other day. I was trying to sound profound. No, you're so right. If you show, literally lack any emotion at all, I feel like that evokes a stronger response than showing you give a fuck. Yeah, he was like, wait, this girl's cool. And he kept calling me. I was like, can I help you?

Yeah, you guys were snapping a lot, like little teenagers. Well, it was like four years ago. We were snapping four years ago. Do you still have a snap streak? Nope. The only people I snap is maybe you once in a while, if something funny comes up. But otherwise, like, you guys don't snap anymore?

No. We don't talk. You and your boyfriend? No, we don't. Because he goes goes to gym in the morning. I work out I go to work. He goes to work like I come home like I have plans with you like I know we were talking about this the other day I feel like you're very chill lax girlfriend because you are so happy to go out with like without him You don't care what he's doing like if he goes out without you

No I feel like that I hope he enjoys himself. Yeah, but you just like trust so hard. I'm always waiting for the other shoe to drop or the ball. The ball drop. I think in my mind, I'm just like, if you break my trust, like, I mean, number one, then it's done.

But two, like, if you don't want me, like, All right, all right, someone else will. I promise. That's like a, yeah. Like that's my, and I think it comes from- That's a strong mindset. I think it comes from my mom. My parents are also very independent. And I don't know.

I think that's the best way. I want my girl time. I like going out with- I know. There's some people that I see in relationships that just completely lose track of themselves and their friends. I have a lot of friends like that.

Those are the worst people ever. And they shall rue this day. My mom always says those are the relationships that like never last. Yeah. Like you need to be like independent and then like come together when you're married and then you have your whole life together. Same thing with like living together. Like we don't really live together yet because I'm gonna have my whole life to live with him. I like my own space right now. I know. Like, why am I rushing to live with you and I have my whole life? That's insane. One of my really good friends from college who's engaged now, soon to be married. Yeah. Her fiance

has never maybe he's gone out with us and they've been dating for six years twice. Like they're just so independent. They do their own things. He goes out with his friends. She goes out with her friends like like I would prefer that because when Jordan does go out with me I'm like is he having a good time like is he like making friends like I'm thinking about him Instead of enjoying myself. I feel like he can hold this out now though hundred now He's like part of the front group now. He's part of the front group and he's been part. He's been part of the front group Well, he's making guy friends now.

Yeah, he's networking too. Yeah, he's networking. He's like, page out of your book. And now he's like, we should go out to network. It was so funny. We were driving today. And when we dropped you off, we were driving back to the city. And we pass, actually, one of the daddies that took us, that was on the trip to Coachella.

Yeah. And I was like, and he's a multi almost a billionaire, like started two amazing companies. And I was like, Oh, look, it's so and so Jordan was like, how'd you just fucking snipe that so fast? And I was like, like, I went to Coachella with him. He's like, you're so good. He's like, should we stop the car and I go talk to him? Literally, that would be a good client.

I was like, No, I was like, do you want to park the car and run after him right now? He's like, Yeah, I want to talk to him. Literally, that would be a good client for him. I was like, no. I was like, do you want to park the car and run after him right now? He's like, yeah. I want, I want to talk to him. He's in this like hungry, like, girl boss era. Yeah, I love that for him. Yeah. I love that for him too.

I love that for him. He was on that call today. He was like, he just wants to make money. He just wants to make money. Honestly, I'm really proud of him. I know. It's only good things for us. If he makes money make money. Honestly, I'm really proud of him. I know. It's only good things for us. If he makes money, then he's taking us to St. Barts.

We're going to St. Barts in Saint-Tropez. Yeah. Staying in the villa. Jordan's also like his mindset. He's like, I just want to make so much money so I can treat you and your friends. I was like, aw. I also like this mindset.

Oh, he treated him. Yeah. I'll treat you. You treat my friend. Yeah. And that's all gone. Well your parents are coming next weekend. Yeah my parents are coming next weekend. I'm gonna try to force them to come on the podcast because it's been a long time coming and my dad's been like I want to have like a nice tan like have my like you know like want to look really pretty if I'm getting on camera. He's like I want to look at the contracts. I'm like, there's no contracts for you to look up for you to go on my, like, just do it for me, dad.

He's like, I wanna tan is so fucking on point for your dad. No, literally, but I'm gonna try to do that next week. Lauren, always a pleasure having you on this couch. Graydon's coming next week. Graydon's coming next week. We're gonna have a lot of content to go over next week. It'll be so fun.

But anyways, again, thank you all for tuning in. The video version is on YouTube. You can listen to me on every other platform. Obviously, like, subscribe, five stars, all the beautiful things. And yeah. Love you. Love you.

Thank you. Love you. Bye.