Extra Dirty with Hallie Batchelder - Crashing out in Aspen with Liv & Lauren

Episode Date: February 13, 2025

Aspen: the land of rich men, brand trips, and apparently... Hallie’s charitable mouth!! This week, Hallie, Liv, and Lauren recap their completely unhinged weekend in the mountains, from travel disasters (yes, an entire piece of the plane was missing) to Hallie’s one-night stand and The Great Fight of 2025. We discover that orange juice cures bad moods and manic episodes, Lauren does NOT have mascara on and Liv might still be recovering from a wild house/country fusion musical performance. Plus, a surprise guest caller joins the chaos, and Hallie has a new man in her sights. Strap on your Airpods ladies... this one is SICK. Buckle up your pedicab seat and follow @extradirty on socials to follow along with Hallie! If you love the show, leave a review and subscribe to keep the chaos coming. Kisses!!

Alright, so we got to Aspen. The altitude was fucked. I gotta say that Aspen is like one big whippet. We're having a little talk. Okay guys, I'm putting something really fucking stupid right now. We have an emergency debrief situation. Hi, this is Halle from the streets of New York. Guys, I had every intention of staying in last night. York. Okay, guys, welcome back to extra dirty. We are here to

discuss Aspen or top weight Aspen. I keep thinking it's tall how we're talking about guys do we like this sweater? So that's a story we'll get into. Okay. Let's see. Where do we begin to get all the wares out of it? Get all your two way. We're expensing this item. Yeah. Writing a highly regretted it. And then she was like, wait, but if I were in the pod, we can write it off and someone else will pay for it. I don't think I've been this manic since 2022 with the Weekend to Five guys. You were ready to buy like a $20,000 coat.

No, I was so ready. Like this was like. No, well, it was my first week and it was my first month with a credit card that the limit's 50K. So I could have if I wanted to. It was so much fun because the money wouldn't come out of your bank account. But

then you then you had to pay it today. I paid it today. Because it doesn't like you don't see it subtracting automatically. That's true. But you see it adding up it adds. It doesn't subtract. How did you think making money? Yeah, She's like sick. Yeah, it's like monopoly. Yeah, it's like dividends. But yes, okay, so let's start with our travel day. The travel day wasn't what it was an ideal and it honestly put me in a really bad mood

and I think gave me a UTI. When I can't like remember it, can you jog like my brain? Yeah, when apple juice. Apple juice. Orange juice, oh my gosh. So, Liv, tell it, tell it. I was like jealous. Well, I don't juice. Oh my gosh Live tell it tell it It started out good. It's not good except that we were all like

Completely freaked out by the plane crashes. Okay, like the entire weekend. We're like we're going down Oh, yeah, and we were also flying. Wait, we were also flying American Eagle, which I thought was a store Guys every bump I would look at Lauren and we'd be like this No, but the first flight, I thought we were literally going down. The plane was squeaking before we took off. It was like, it was literally like this. Insane. The pilot was like, run to your gate.

Yeah. Oh my God, yeah, the pilot goes, if any of you guys have a connection, you better run. You better run pretty fast. Hope you don't have asthma. I was like, what? She also kept saying, she's like,

we are past departure time. All of you guys are moving really slow. We're past departure time. We're extremely past departure, so you're gonna be late. We're like, okay. No, they're being so rude. You better have a pet in your name. We are also in the back of, we are in economy.

Yeah. Rose 30, middle. And 31. We 30 middle and 31. We were all middle bathroom. We are a row bathroom. We were sitting on the plane. It was sitting on the flight attendant's lap. No, it was fucking insane. It's fucking insane. I'm like, row thirty. This must be a pretty big We forgot that our flight was Are we weren't even supposed to be on that flight our flight got moved with no email to any one of us So we all could have missed it. No and we get there and I'm like Dallas and we're going to Dallas

We got we get on the first flight It was an actual fucking nightmare then we get on the second and we're anticipating worse because it's a small little paper airplane from Dallas, Texas to Aspen. Like the wind, the small plane, like I can't. Halle's in the most fabled mood. Like I look at her in the back of the plane, she like snarled at me. She snarled at me.

I'm sorry, but economy affects me like that. She thankfully asked for an orange juice knowing herself all too well, took two sips, looks at me and she goes, do you wanna talk? Do you wanna like talk? I'm like bored, do you wanna talk? I felt better. No, and I was like, I would love to talk. I just needed the Snickers bar.

I would love to talk. And we talked. I needed sugar, I was crashing out. Yeah, you were crashing out, that was the first crash out. Yeah. One out of a hundred. Yeah, wait, so the whole weekend was filled with crash outs.

The only thing that didn't crash out was the airplane. I wasn't sensitive. I was sending you plane crash simulations. We're at our layover. Keep in mind, I'm like the most nervous flyer right after Warren Fishbun. So like it was really bad. Like you're two of the most nervous people on earth. We're at our layover. I'm like trying to relax for getting on the paper airplane. I go to tik tok because we always send each other tik toks. Halle sent me plane crash simulations and she's like us. I'm like, okay, no, I do that. It's kind of my sick joke when I'm sitting in the middle seat with random people I don't know next to me. I watch airplane crash

simulations and people like look over at my phone and be like, you're a fucking sick freak. Watch airplane crash simulations and people like look over at my phone and be like you're a fucking sick freak That's legit That actually reminded me like I was sending live like old photos of Jordan like happened to like swipe on like You were saying goodbye to people who was saying goodbye She wanted me to text your boyfriend saying goodbye dropping no, no

My wife I didn't work. I was the only person on the entire plane. My Wi Fi didn't fucking work. So I texted Lauren. I said, Can you please text my boyfriend? Wait, I have it. I have it. Can you text me? Can you text me from me and say, Liv says hi, her phone isn't working. I don't want him to think I died. And I answered back in the notes app. You're insane. And then she didn't send it. And I said, babe, did Lauren text you? He goes, no, why? I'm like, fake.

Fake. I also have other ones from you. This is my fourth time peeing. I can't even send a fucking text or go on Instagram or anything, what the fucking shit. I know. You also paid $50 for a Wi-Fi. We have the longest conversation.

I was crashing out with that wifi. It says we have two hours and eight minutes left, so landing at 108 in Dallas. That's like literally going on and on. Lauren, I sent you every thought that... Well, Hallie didn't have her airdrop on. I took a Xanax. What?

All right, so we got to Aspen. The altitude was fucked. Man X. What? What? What? All right, so we got to Aspen. The altitude was fucked. I gotta say that Aspen is like one big whipet. It's like you can't breathe. Even like going to the bathroom, you feel like out of breath. So the first night I brought a guy home,

which was really feral. That's what I know is manic, is because I couldn't breathe, but I wanted to have sex. We had dinner? Yeah. I think all of us were like, we couldn't see. The crazy thing about Aspen is like,

so we were there with a brand, we were on a brand trip. So we're kind of on other people's schedules. The first thing we did was go to a club before even having food. It's given communal schedule. No, yeah. But like, I don't think I should have brought like a man home on the brand trip.

Well, it was giving- I feel like that's fine. Everyone was looking for a man. We all went home. That's true. Halle needed more orange juice. And she decided she didn't want to be in the same room as Lauren and I, so she left.

And she went to a club. Wait, was that that night? That was the first night. We got in a fight the first night. And the second. Guys, these people are gonna think that we're insane. No, we are. Like the brand is literally gonna be like,

okay, so these three girls fought every single night. No, because at lunch, we literally sat down with Delaney and we were like, so tell us now, do you think we're crazy? She was like, no. We're like, tell us now, do you really think we're crazy? She's like, no, why? No, but they also watched us fight and then like makeup and like giggle like all in like 30 seconds.

Oh my God, I looked insane. I was crying at the table. Then I was taking a shot with Hallie. We were kissing on the lips and then I was rolling my eyes at Lauren and then I was throwing up, crying, screaming. Like it was, seriously I should not drink. Remember when I was circling you like a shark. Do you wanna get into that now?

No. Are we ready? No, we'll wait. Okay. So I brought this man back. I'm like scared to get in there. This man who like I hadn't met yet. It's giving one night stand.

It's giving one night stand. I'm in like this weird phase right now where I slept with him and I just felt like I needed to let him go into the ocean. Goodbye, you'll never hear from me again. Goodbye, Kyle. Goodbye, Kyle. He was cute though. No, he was so cute, but he lives in LA.

I don't wanna do that to my heart. He woke me up. All I heard was, that's fucking hilarious. I'm like, not alley cracking jokes, other one does too. That's fucking hilarious. I'm like, not like cracking jokes with everyone. That's fucking hilarious. We shared a wall. I'm shocked you didn't hear like anything.

I was like waiting to. I was already up. I was like, let's see what this bitch is made of. I didn't hear shit. I was like, let's see what's going on. Let's see what this bitch is made of. I've actually done that a few times. I've never heard Halle, but I'm always like I didn't hear cup

How he fucks I don't know cuz I'm not like a silent lover. Maybe we're just being courteous of me and Lauren Yeah, I like remember blacking into being on top of this man Which is crazy. It makes me feel like an alcoholic and I like was like wait Who am I on top of right now? How they walked in the next morning being like, yeah. Yeah. Why would she do? She was like, I blacked back in.

And I go, who am I on top of? That's ever happened to you in college? No, no. Or you're like, no. You? That's happened to me a lot recently. We maybe caught that. Actually, keep it in.

But he was cute. And then his phone was on two percent, so we laughed. But I have no, I don't remember anything. I do. Do you ever like not remember finishing the act? Like just going to bed, passing out after. No, mine, no, because it entails like a cleanup and going to the bathroom to pee and it's a thing. All right. Brush my teeth. Yeah. Let's walk. Let's do skin hair together. You've never had drunk sex where you just are having sex and then you go to bed? No, I definitely have.

Yeah, come on. I'll get a UTI, I have to pay. Lauren is insane. Lauren's drunk sex is after wondering. So let's be real. She records it too. Lauren works after she has drunk sex. She gets on her laptop.

Lauren is all wondering and says, pull out your iPhone and your Alex Earl light. Set it up. I can't help myself. Lauren gets up in the middle of sex and props up her phone on Snapchat. And then sends it to the group. She livestreams it on Twitch. Guys, it's a Leo thing.

I can't help it. It's a Leo thing. I want to see my back shots. Someone's going to hack my phone. Fucking poncho. I can't help it. It's a Leo thing. I want to see my back shot. Someone's gonna like hack my phone. Fucking poncho. What else can we do? Wait, it's giving invisible cloak. Wait, can you picture like...

Wait, they should like put effects to it. She's over it like Halle disappears Yeah, goodbye cloak All right, so then the second day I Mean hangovers or no fuck They're not for the weak lunged people there because you just can't really breathe at all you like go to pee You can't breathe. It's just like you can't breathe there I smoke cigarettes and I vape and I'm proud of that. And you just can't, you can't, my lungs aren't built for Aspen or I wasn't ready.

I was not ready for that fucking hangover. Okay, so then we went out all day long. Saturday was great guys. Like vibes were up. We had so much fun. We were giggling, we were laughing. It was the fight night. Yeah.

Fight night. The vibes were actually so fucking high up. No gravity. That's why they crashed so hard. They were so high. And we're going to call this the great fight of 2025. I was circling Liv like, jive. Set the scene.

Like how, like the three. We shared a bathroom. So it's basically two rooms next to each other or headboards on the same wall. Yeah. Okay. Two different rooms though. Yeah. Bathroom in between, it's like a Jack and Jill bathroom. So two doors in the bathroom. We shared it. Halle is circling around. She

sometimes come through the hall and then sometimes come through the bathroom and be like, and one more thing. And it was, it was, it was kind of funny. Now, I guess now looking back on it, it definitely made us closer. I had a manic shopping day and it was, you know, one of those things where just manic and it was almost a problem bringing you into a store. You wanted to go shopping, babe. I said, Okay, usually I don't like to really do much activities during the day.

Once we got out there though, you were flying. Unstoppable. I was unstoppable. Yeah. My credit card bill reflected that. She was like, one more store. One more. One more.

I wanted a fur coat and then it was like 23 grand. And I was like, honestly thinking about it. Yeah. And then we steered you to the cheaper option. And then. The cheaper option and the cheaper option Was that cotton ball? Halle was looking way too seriously in the mirror at this coat like it was like literally she tried on a $128,000 mink she was like this is really cute. I was like

Put it down put it down Pick up some Fox, but I feel like, okay. Put it down, put it down. Pick up some fox. But I feel like when I'm manic, I feel like low key I'm manic depressive sometimes. Like I go through these phases where I'm like not doing much and then I'll like sleep with a bunch of guys and like shop a lot. That's like mania.

That's mania. That's mania. That's mania. That's like girlhood. That is girlhood, you're right. Yeah. I don't feel bad about it. Honestly, I look at it as content for the pod.

That's insane to say. Right off. It's a right off. It's a right off because my mental health is a right off. My mental health is a right off. What is a right off? Is it an expense? No.

No. An expense is like, for example, I can expense something if I'm going on a work trip, right? I'll buy a flight. My work will cover my entire flight. I don't, like it doesn't hurt me. A write off is when taxes come, you don't. I don't like taxes. We don't like taxes.

You weren't clear. What else do we do? Well, you had a therapy session on front of Oh, the terror card. We don't read. Oh, we don't. Terror guard. So like this brand obviously like hooked us up with a bunch of activities. This way. So the terror car reader was also like after the great fight, which was a very like we're acting like it was like the Great Wall of China is the great fight of 2025. It kind of was a deep fight. The great fight of 2025. It kind of was. It was explosive.

No, yeah. No, so the, yeah, but like also the tarot card reader was like trying to get really deep and there was like a fucking audience. And she was like, how do you feel about your future and your career? Well, it started with no one. I don't know.

Yeah, everyone like came out. No one was out there and the second how they got on the couch, like 12 people came out and she was like, okay, well, this is not what I signed up for. No, like I was good. I was having a panic attack. Really? Yeah, can no one tell? Wait, you should have just stopped. I was like, she was like, okay, well, this is not what I signed up for. No, like I was having a panic attack. Really?

Yeah, can no one tell? Wait, you should have just stopped. I was like, she was like, how's your love life? I'm like, I don't know! Sometimes Halle forgets she has free will. Well, yeah, I do forget. You could have just said, actually, I don't really want to do this anymore, I'm sorry.

This isn't for me. It was kind of like similar to the situation where the phone. The phone. The girl was like, oh my God. Where was it? There was a girl sitting on my phone for 45 minutes and I couldn't like sum up the courage to like say a girl sitting on my phone for 45 minutes and I couldn't sum up the courage to say hi,

you're sitting on my phone. It was in her. We had to like... It was like, you also had opportunity. Like Halle said on your phone. You know that, it was under me? It was like this for a little bit. Like that.

She could have just reached down. But then she literally swore she went like this. No, she was like, this woman was twerking on Halle's phone. Liv, after 45 minutes, say, I'll Liv, you have to call her. And I think she probably came. No, she felt the buzz. No, Halle was still being shy. You were still being shy about getting the phone back.

And I could tell you still didn't want to, like, I don't know why you just didn't want to like. It was Tish Cyrus, she was playing Country House. was playing country house yeah the whole thing we were freaking out the whole situation was a little freaky deaky for me so I pretend like the last 30 minutes didn't happen and I go Hallie where's your phone at and you go I don't know where's my phone at and I go I'll call it yeah so the woman could hear us having this interaction about it she goes up something's vibrating under me I'm like I lose my phone all the time.

I'm like, oh. Are we gonna talk on Brandy Cyrus, guys? No, I mean, bless our soul. It just like, it was, this was on Sunday after a long weekend of drinking on my part. I was hungover and we were like in this tent at Snow Lodge, right? And it was like country music themed DJs. But it was house. But the first one wasn't house music. The second DJ that went on was like country house and

Lauren had a physical reaction to the mashup of Avicii and Old Town Road. Ew. Wait. That's exactly what it was. Lauren's like, this music is terrible. I'm panicking. No, she was sweating clammy. Eyes were like watering. You looked like you OD'd on like Wippets and Fettenall.

And I was like drinking water. Lauren looks at me, she goes, I don't really feel good. Me and Halle are like, shut the fuck up, Lauren. And then five minutes later, she like touches me. Her hand was hotter than the sun. She's like, I really don really feel good me and Halle are like shut the fuck up Lauren and then five minutes later she like touches me her hand was hotter than the Sun she's like I really don't feel good I need to leave I'm like oh my god get away from she was she was dripping in sweat I tried orange juice I tried mixing it with my seltzer and I was like maybe I just need some sugar I wish I had footage of Lauren going back to the hotel room alone and I crashed

wait guys I was like wobbling I was wobbling like I literally was walking down the street I was like like I was zig Wait guys, I was like wobbling. I was wobbling. Like I literally was walking down the street and I was like, like I was zigzagging through the street. Lauren, after hearing a song she doesn't like, like that's insane, Lauren. She goes, wait, this music is ass and you almost killed me. No, I actually didn't mind the music. Lauren, you hated the music. Anyways, we get back.

We need a ride. Is that the putty cat we are? Anyway, we, no. We went home, then need a ride Anyway, we know We went we went home then we went to dinner then we went to caribou club Which was like the zero bond of Aspen. It was sick. Yes Then the petty cab driver took us the fuck home and that's when Hallie had her little escapades You guys were convinced that there were no ubers in Aspen. I'm like be the most fucking for there's Ubers in ass I was literally lying. I was like, there's no Ubers. We must check home. It was great

We got in the petty cab and he was like where to girls were like home home No, he literally goes where to I remember being so dramatic and being like this is my moment Like this is literally my moment. I go home And he goes I need an address lady. I'm like, oh shit. Right. And I quickly felt at home. Where do you wanna go? Take me home.

Take me home, baby. Take me home. Rock my world. And then what happened? Okay. So what got me going? So was it the fact that he was in seventh gear? Was it the lights? Was it the music?

Halleys? What made me wet on the petticab right home? You have a few mutes. You have a few moods you get into when you're drunk. This is my favorite one you get into. She's giggling at everything. She's basically skipping down the street. Like she's just so happy.

We took shrooms. We took shrooms. Yeah. So we go to the petticab, Lauren and I are in the street. Like she's just so happy. We took shrooms. We took shrooms. Yeah, we did. I didn't know you guys had that. Yeah. So we get to the pedicab, Lauren and I are in the back, Halle's in the front, like facing this guy's ass, basically in the overalls. Lauren and I are in the back,

we're like vlogging on TikTok, like I don't fucking know. And we hear Halle going, "'Oh, you'd like that, wouldn't you?' And Lauren goes, "'Wait, did you hear that?' And I go, "'No, what?' And then I hear it again. She goes, "'Yeah, you would like that, wouldn't you?' And we're like- That's like the you hear that? And I go, no, what? And then I hear it again. She goes, yeah, you would like that, wouldn't you?

And we're like, the only thing I know to say. We're like, who's she on the phone with? Like, who is she FaceTiming right now? Nope, the phone was down. She was talking to the Petticat driver. He's like, yeah, I fucking like that. We're like, whoa. They went back and forth at least like five times.

And I was like, he was into me. There's other people in the room here. It was just like the fact that out of all of the rich, wealthy men that traveled to Aspen, that have homes in Aspen, I picked a homeless guy that lives in the back of his petticap. The struggling DJ would have been better.

Well, I blessed him too. Yeah. It was insane. So anyway, we get home and I'm like- I was really giving back this weekend. I was giving to the economy with my purchases and I was giving back to these men this entire weekend was a write-off for you wait guys I'm sorry I'm cracking up a Marshall he's sitting at the screens he's like yeah yeah no yeah for sure so we get

home so let me just I just want to like paint this picture I just want to paint this okay I spilled wine on Hallie's couch now everyone's mad at me I want to paint this. OK, I spilled wine on Halle's couch. Now everyone's mad at me. I want to paint. Oh my god, Halle, I'm scared. Oh my god, shit. Crashing out again. It's Tuesday.

It's Tuesday. You know what? It's on the clubs going up. So listen, listen. I want to paint this picture as clearly I can hear the ocean. Because it was so funny. And Halle said she wants to insert the video, so that will be inserted.

This Petticab was blasting like boom, boom. Craziest music I've ever heard in my life. It was a beachy mix with Skrillex. It was insane. Should I pull up the sound? Yeah. No, like let's just clip it. We'll clip it.

I like dream about that sound. I've heard it so many times. Yeah. Yeah. But like I didn't think we had cash to pay for his generous ride so I had a philanthropic mouth and throat with my tongue as I was and I served him cash and I serviced him with my mouth and said thank you. Then he put his kickstand down so quick, shifted from gear seven to gear one, so quick, ran up to Ceres, chased us. He like skirted. No, this is really what happened. He wanted your number so badly.

I get off the pedicab, I'm like, all right ladies, let's go home. I turn around to see where my friends are before I open the store. Lauren's paying him, and Halle's making out with him, but not just making out. This was some full on straddle shit. We fell over.

Halle, are you on Instagram right now? Yeah. Did you just forget that we're podcasting? She's just scrolling with no sound. Halle just forgot that she was clocked into work for a second. I know, we're just looking at the SiriXM post. We were looking at, I was looking at my boss.

I was looking at my boss. Anyway, Halle's making out with this man, basically making babies on the petticab. We summon her to the door. Halle, Halle, Halle, let's go! She comes to the door, he kickstand, okay, cue the kickstand. All I heard was, yeah, and then his boots like, and we turn around, he lunges at us, grabs all six of our legs in his arms like this,

and drops down, we all go flying down the stairs. It was insane, it was insane. And then he kicked us. And then he told us he was gonna end our bloodline if Halle didn't make out with him again. None of that happened. I just want to be clear. I lied again. My friends think I'm a liar, and that's my lie.

Nobody did chase us up the stairs. But he didn't drag us. We all started screaming, and I've never seen a man like revert so fast. We were literally... I literally was like screaming bloody murder. I was like, wait for mine. And I still give him my number.

I was like, hold on, let me see this. Who am I? Love you, see you in a bit. That's what Halle said. Me, I'm guessing. I'm guessing you're talking about me. Yeah. Why, I'm sorry.

What's wrong? Halle has a bubble in her throat. Hi, I'm a bubble. What are you? So anyway, the pedicab driver actually just called us while we were having technical difficulties. I think it's time to call him back. You want me to do it? Yeah.

Let's go. He goes, hi, who is this? Wait, it's end of the video. Remind him. He must be biking right now. I don't give a fuck. Okay, let's continue talking. Cause that's what a podcast is.

What? Let's talk about the plane. Oh no, not yet. Okay. Remember when I sat on my Kemosabe hat, Kemosabe. Guys, we're in a room where there was 19 million, thousand billion chairs in the room. And I happened to just buy a Kemosabe hat, which, by the way,

caused a fucking lung transplant. It was on the chair, and I sat on it with my bony ass fucking cheeks and sat right down on that shit. There were, our room was huge. So you walk into our room basically, and it's a living room, but it's like three living rooms in one with a dining room.

A billion seats, like 30 empty seats, literally, maybe 35. And three couches and ottomans. Halle chooses to take a seat, and she didn't just sit, she like fucking slammed down on that shit. Well, Halle was already sitting. She took a jump.

In a different chair. I was sat. Halle was already sat. I was sat on your laptop. Decided to get up and change chairs and the one chair she chose, she basically hopped in the air. I'm a hopper, it was a levitation, it was a lack of gravity and Aspen,

I don't wanna talk about it. She John Cena KO'd her Kimo Sabe hat. Also, she sat on my laptop and when I got home, it was glitching, by the way, I had to restart my laptop. Wait, am I heavy? She sat like this. Ah, I'm gonna take a seat. No, it was like this.

After just. I'm gonna take a seat. Yeah. On her $1,500 hat. And she gets up and the hat is just dented. She's like, what are we doing? Wait, what are we talking about now? I miss that man I brought home. We're crashing out.

Wait, we need an intermission. We need something. No, no intermission. No, crash out intermission. Crash out intermission on camera. Okay. Crash out intermission. Tell us about the man. We have a new man that I want to see this week. Oh, he's cute.

Yes, he's very cute. I like him for real. I haven't heard from him yet and I'm like crashing out about it. Did you text him? No, I don't have his number. Did you DM him? No, why would I do that? Oh, wow. Could be a power move.

What do I say? You're sexy. Come over. No, I'm not saying that. I'm kidding. I would never say that. I hope you would never talk to a man like that. I wouldn't.

That's not the play. Literally just say hi. No. No. Yes, hi. That's my favorite play. Literally just say hi. No, no. Yes. My favorite thing that you do. No, no, no, no. Yeah. That's like a power move. Hi. I love that. Well, you want to read our conversation, though? Before we go, before we know before we became friends, like

I know, like I do that now because of you live will just like send me in the first thing in the morning. Just hi. Like I have nothing to say. I just want to say hi. Read the whole thing. Hi. And then she'll be like, what's up? And I'm like, nothing to say I just want to say hi read the whole thing hi and then she'll be like what's up and I'm like nothing nothing just wanted to say hi you know I like might like a person when I like don't want to talk about it on this podcast I you know what's what happened to me a lot recently is I'm getting like texts being like I'm threatening with a cease and desist. If you keep talking about me online, I'm like, wait, but just don't.

I walk every day with anxiety. I walk every day with anxiety, it was crazy. I walk with anxiety all day. But. Every day. Okay, well like, I mean, someone doesn't want me to talk about them and asks me not to talk about them. It's like telling a little kid no.

No, but like, I won't talk about them. I would. I mean, just be polite about it and ask me. And I was like, I don't talk about them. It's like telling a little kid now. No, but like I won't talk about them. I would. I mean, just be polite about it and ask me. I was like, I don't talk about you then. You don't exist to me, you're dead to me. Wait, so we can't talk about him anymore? No, I don't think so. The first thing I go is I'm gonna tell Lauren.

I'm gonna tell Lauren. Wait, I have a lot of- Did you bring him up? I have a lot of thoughts on this conversation Well, what are your thoughts? I don't know. I don't really like that. He called you mama Like he's being too mama. I like I like that but like once you're like more no way I think he's funny like he's never met you and he goes Mama like that's hot. If you're like, no way. I think that's funny. Did you read the rest of the car?

I read it all no like the rest of the's really funny. Did you read the rest of the car? I read it all. No, like the rest of the conversation is funny. You were being nice to him. Wait, I am nice. No, I know. But like to a random man, like the shark. Well, can I be honest? It's an alien crying.

I just pictured you being more like stern with men. And like, this is like a cute little fun flirty Hallie. And I'm like, I love to see it. You see I just have my number. Yeah, power move. He needs it. When all else fails and you don't know what to say, just give your number.

If you want to. I mean, I feel like that's kind of like the power move. Like let's stop texting over DM. Tell me. Yeah, like why are you DMing me? Like we're almost 30. I'm almost 30 years old. Lynn's about to be like, I'm 20. No, I turned 26 and the air is different.

It's like weird, I have a boyfriend, he's like my best friend. We're like almost 30. Yeah, we're almost 30 and I'm single. It's giving that Kylie and Kendall thing where it's like... It's giving I'm young and I have a boyfriend who's my best friend. You lined me up for that. Can we talk about leaving Aspen? Yes, yes.

Because this goes into how dramatic Liv is as a person and human being. And I think that's the root of a lot of problems. Yeah. Do you want me to change who I am? No, I actually found entertaining from row 30, we're in row 29. I was like, you know what, fuck yeah.

Also Liv, I'm realizing you and me traveling together is a really bad combination. We should have switched seats. Lauren, we were fine. Really? Because I thought we were going down and every time I would look at you, you would encourage my bad behavior.

Do you know what I mean? I thought it was like a joke. Wait, hold on, Lauren, Lauren, Lauren, Lauren. Encourage, you mean validate. Validate, okay. I'm not encouraging you to die, Lauren. That was insane. Sorry, you're crazy.

Lauren like finds her way around words sometimes. No, I just don't know them. Yeah, it's okay. Lauren, don't act dumb. She was like, I just don't know them. Russian was my first language. I just don't know the words. Russian.

Lauren will like be talking normal and like a Russian word or a Russian name. Like her nail lady name is Dasha Okay, she's like, oh, yeah, like I'm going to get my nails done later. I'm going to see the Like super Russian. I'm like wait say something in Russian say Halle is a big worthless slot in Russia. I will not Say Liz she's as young say Halle's a powerful, very gorgeous slut in Russian. Wait, I don't even know what a, oh, shlyuchka. What?

Wait, shlyuchka? Wait, that's one word. Like, I was thinking to myself, I was like, I don't know how to say shit. Say it. I don't know. Bad girl. Poor. Bad girl.

Pohaya diyavushka. Pohaya diyavushka. Pohaya diyavushka. Pohaya diyavushka. Shlyuchka. Shlyuchka. I feel like a shkurtka, and a vayul ahushka. And that's on God and that's on period okay, actually great Russian pronunciation. Thank you. I am great with my tongue Let's go back to the plane ride home the Boeing 787

Wait that was 737 so we were87. Wait, this is so funny. Wait, that was insane. 737. So we were in group eight, which is crazy. I didn't even know there was a group eight, to be honest. We were in the back of the fucking bus. I was sitting on the flight attendant's lap and she was showing me her children. No, we were like as far back as you can possibly. No, we were with the-

We were behind the bathroom. We were behind the bathroom. We were in cargo. And so we sit down and it's me and Liv in a row. It's me and Lauren in a row. Hallie's directly behind us. Yeah. So, and we get on this plane, we're like,

guys, we made it, fourth flight. We're on fourth and final flight. We made it, we're almost there. Nothing can go wrong at this point. We're on a big planet. I took a plane. I wasn't thinking like that. So we get to our row. Okay.

Of course, out of every fucking seat on the plane, my seat, the plane was broken. Like there was a piece of the plane missing. You could see bolts and screws and fucking plastic and padding. It was like vanity though. But it looked like it might detach from the back. Please validate me.

It looked like half the plane could potentially fall off. So I go- There's been a lot of plane crashes recently. Yeah, and it was broken. And American. So I look at them and I go, so my seat looks broken. The plane looks broken. The wall of the plane looks broken.

So I go to the flight attendant. Casually, I'm just like, hey, I just want to let you know that thing's missing. She goes, oh my god, I need to pick her and I need to get the captain. Yeah, and I was like- I don't have maintenance. We were like, put a face app, kiss one on like, I just want to let you know that thing's missing. She goes, oh my God, I need to picture and I need to get the captain. Yeah, and I was like, we were like, put a face app, kiss one on that and tag me.

So we're, so, we're just like, kiki-ing with the flight attendants. Okay, they were being kind of funny. We turned, I get a tap on my shoulder. Well, they sent the first flight attendant. She was cool. We were kiki-ing, we wanted to go kiki on the river with her.

Yeah. But, then the second flight attendant. The gay flight attendant was're fine. We wanted to go with Kiki on the river with her. Yeah. But then the second flight attendant. The gay flight attendant was also cool. Who also gave you side eye when you walked into the flight and asked him how long the flight was. He also was giving me sass. He goes, listen, three people have sat here and none of them complained about this.

So if you broke this off, just tell me where the piece is. I go, this is a four foot long piece of plastic. Where do you think I'm hiding it? My vagina? I'm like, she's 26 years old. You think she just got on this plane and is like hiding plastic from you? Yeah, you think I'm trying to break the plane and'm like, she's 26 years old. You think she just got on this plane and is like hiding plastic from you? Yeah, you think I'm trying to break the plane

and kill everyone on board? There's 236 passengers on here. I'm trying to get home too, buddy. Yeah, what? And then he started laughing. He was like, I don't know why I asked that. I'm like, I don't know why you asked that either. He goes, the pilot's making accusations.

Yeah, he blamed it on the pilot. I think he didn't realize for you, he didn't think that you were gonna come back at him. He didn't know you were Olivia Manning. Because you accused me of random shit on the plane. I don't wanna go to jail, don't be weird. I didn't wanna break the plane off. And then what did he say, the pilot?

Then the pilot taps on, I feel a tap on my shoulder, I turn around, it's the fucking captain of the ship. He's like, hello ma'am, I would like to talk to you about the missing piece. I'm like, oh my God, everyone on the plane is looking at this point, like these fucking annoying girls in fur and Kimo Sabe hats.

Like what is going on in the back plane? It was already delayed, everyone was pissed off. Yeah, it was already delayed. And he's like, basically just explaining to me, like it's fine, but if I feel uncomfortable because it is my seat, you know, we can call maintenance and we will have to sit here for two hours, but we can't get it fixed for you, ma'am.

We might sit here for two hours if you feel unsafe't get it fixed for you, ma'am. We might sit here for two hours. Yes, literally. If you feel unsafe. Ma'am, if you personally feel unsafe, we will all sit here together. Together as one in unity. It'll take an hour and a half. And we will wait for maintenance together and pray in Jesus' name, amen.

And I rebuke this. Me and Livin, we've never. And I was like, no, it's fine. No, no, no. We've never been like, it's okay so quickly. You were already looking at other flights. Oh yeah. Lauren looks at me, she goes,

if we get two planes, I'm gonna be so mad at you. I never said that. I never said that. The plane could go down. I never said I'll be so mad, I just said. No, I go, will you be mad at me? And you go, kind of. I wouldn't piss.

Okay. Every people would have like beaten you up. They would have like hit you. OK, but what if we got in the air and the plane broke and everyone was like, why didn't this dumb bitch say something? Wear your seat belt. Guys, anyway.

That seat belt thing, I was actually thinking about it. Like, come on. Is the seat belt really going to help us? No. Anything? We need like the straps. But anyway. Like a roller coaster for me. but anyway I just want to say that

when we were flying I felt a breeze from the crack freezing the whole you're lying I'm not you were felt you you felt a breeze there was a breeze coming through the crack no there was a That was probably the draft from the air vent up top. No, the air vent was over here. The draft is coming this way. That's an odd thing. There's like 19 layers. I researched points. She saw light.

She saw light coming through. Halle, don't act like you didn't feel the draft. I took a bar. I was barred out. Halle was barred out. Did you take a Xanax, actually? We were air dropping each other. No, I woke up.

During the fight, Halle tried to take a Xanax. No, no, no, I took three sanix's before my first flight Really? So I and that was all it was all dark out and like foggy outside And I woke up after an hour and a half and I thought we were like taking off because I couldn't see it that way On the floor. I was like, why are we like still taking you? So that's insane. Wait, that's so funny. Wait, I'm thinking about like, we lived. Yeah, wait, I was like, wait, how long is this runway?

I'm like, what is she talking about? The waves. I'm kind of drunk. I chugged like three glasses of wine. I'm upset. Our flight back to New York from Chicago, it was supposed to be like two hours. But we get on the flight and the guy's like, it's just an hour and 24 minutes.

Yeah, me and Lauren are like, it's a three hour flight. Yeah, because it's about an hour. I'm Googling it and it said like two and two and change. It was giving Space Mountain. Yeah, wait, Space Mountain is a great one. I don't know what that is. All right, let's move on. I think we should talk about when Hollye introduced me to Lauren Fishbein

and what I did to her face. It was insane. She basically ripped the mole off my face. We're going to tell this from two different point of views. Mole, mole, mole, mole, mole, mole, mole, mole, mole, mole. Wait, this is actually a real, OK, back story. A week before I met you. We love a back story. And back shots. Wait, a week before I met you we love a backstory and backshot Wait a week before I met you I had just literally like into like talk to Hallie about it

How when girls are drunk and we're at a club They always come up to me and they try and wipe the mascara off my mascara Baby girl get that musk off your face. They always come up to me, they try and like smudge under my eye and I always slap their hand away and I'm like no. Zoom into her eye. Wait no zoom in just so everyone sees it. Wait go up to it so you will see your mole. Mole mole mole. Mole, mole, mole. Okay, when girls are drunk, they always try to come up to me and they're like honey.

I never thought that. Every time, they're like honey. I think you look beautiful. They think that they're helping me and they're like honey. I didn't call you honey. No, I know, I know, but I'm saying, girls are always like honey. I called you baby doll.

You're under your eye, like let me get it. I'm always like. I'm always like, oh. Let me get that. Sorry. I always get mad.. Let me get it. I'm always like. I always get mad. This is a week before. Halle goes, I've never seen that happen to you. Insert live. The universe works in wild ways.

Halle had never seen that and the universe said let there be light. Let Halle see this happen. So Halle can't see. So me and Halle had just become like really good friends. Halle's like, oh my god you have to meet fish. So I go back to the back room to my God, you have to meet Fish. So I go back to the back room of Zero Bond, I'm sitting with Fish.

I could tell she was kind of pissed off already. It wasn't, yeah. It just, it wasn't pissed off. No, I know. I was pissed off at something else. I know. But it was just giving like, wasn't interested in meeting new friends.

So I was like trying to be nice, whatever, whatever. It's pitch black in the back room of Zero Bond, pitch black. There is a candle lit in the corner. Like there's no light. Yeah, so I go. Oh wait I think you and I'm like really obnoxious. So I like just fully go for it I'm lunging for Lauren's face and I literally wiped her mole. I go wait you I go you have some mascara No, I said mascara I go you have some mascara under your eye. And she goes, it's a mole. And I go, what? And you and Halle both go, no, no, no.

You kept saying it's a mole. And I didn't understand what you were saying. And Halle looks at me, she goes, it's a mole. And I was like, oh my goodness gracious. I'm so sorry. I'm profusely apologizing. So awkward. I leave the table, I'm texting Halle,

does your friend hate me? Does your friend hate me? Halle's like No Definitely not she definitely doesn't care that you just humiliate her Fucking bitch. Yeah, it was just like I was like there it is. He was giving Austin powers Yeah, and that birthed a great friendship. Yeah birth birth this one time Like I had a girl literally like want to touch it that's insane like pet it she it was it was cracky she like literally were like laying there and she goes oh my god cracky is fucked she just tried to touch it and I was like the fuck are you doing?

this is a public service announcement cracky if you know who you are you're bad news here clip this fuck you cracky fuck bitch. So Valentine's Day is tomorrow, you guys. OK. It's tomorrow. It's tomorrow? Yeah, it's tomorrow. It's the 13th, isn't it? It's a very unimportant, insignificant holiday to me,

because I also, yeah. I hate it. Not because I hate love. I just think it's stupid anyways. And if it's gonna be like that significant, like can I have a snow day? I actually agree. No, yeah.

I don't really care about it that much. Of all the relationships I've ever been in, I've never had a boyfriend on Valentine's Day. There's always been a break or a breakup or something on Valentine's Day. It's always been a very depressing day for me. I don't really care that much. I'm so used to not being in I think it's in college all my friends

have like such serious boyfriends. They made a huge thing. So it was like a thing. It was a thing like we'd flower deliveries. We had like it was it was crazy. My mom actually brought me flowers. My mom sends me flowers. That's nice. Let's talk about Lauren possibly getting engaged soon. Yeah. It's coming. We don't know when, but it's coming like an Amtrak.

It's coming fast. You guys saw the ring and he didn't even tell me that he sent it to you. Wait, the ring? I peer pressured him. I texted him, I was like, you need to send us the rendering now. It's insane.

It's insane, it's gorgeous. It's sick. Holly and I looked at the rendering and we were like, this is so Lauren. It's insane. It's insane. It's gorgeous. It's sick. Halle and I looked at the rendering and we were like, this is so Lauren. It's very you. It's gorgeous. Can't relate. But love that for you. Wait, what did I say? I've never gone to horny over a ring. Liv goes, after you get engaged, what do you want to do? And I was like, I think I'd like to go for a nice dinner, you know, with like you and Halle. She goes, and Jordan, I go, no, no, no, just you and Halle.

That's insane. I think I have an inkling that I'm going to be in Israel when you get engaged. I feel like that too. But it's okay. We can celebrate over FaceTime. We'll zoom. Yeah. Are you guys the people that had like, like ring Pinterest board, wedding Pinterest board? No, no, no. We don't really give a fuck. I've never had a ring Pinterest board, wedding Pinterest board. No, no. We don't really give a fuck.

I've never had a ring Pinterest board. I've never dream, dreamt about a wedding. No. I might be a lesbian. What's going on? No, Hallie, it's okay. I'm actually also terrified of like weddings and I don't like any of it.

I just get performance anxiety when it comes to like walking down the aisle, like I'll trip. Everyone looking at me, like what? I just dream about being with a man who won't cheat on me or deceive me. That feels like, is that your top priorities? A loyal man, yes.

What are you on? Let's not forget my ex hooked up with my friend. I'm like money, work ethic, drive. money, work ethic, drive. Like then maybe loyalty and then maybe fertility. That's a big one. Fertility is so far down the line for you. We should start a mandatory test for every man and then present it to the government

and have it like every man needs to pass this test. It's physical. What happens if they don't pass? Do they get put into a certain tier? Oh, a tier. And they have to get a certain bracelet or something. You just know that they're in a tier. Bracelet, I'm saying. They have those club spams.

You just know that they're in this tier. Yeah. This feels like very G.A. It cheats. It says it over his head. It's just a cheater. Like G.A. Offense eight times, two times, however many times.

Like you need to know these things. I don't want to find out six months in when I'm falling in love. Every time it gets a little bit uglier. Yeah. It's giving the substance. Substance. I did have a dream last night

that I was pregnant with twins. I actually had a dream that I birthed them. Yeah. Woke up this morning, you know, immediately took a test. You're okay. I'm not pregnant. I woke up in the morning, you know, immediately took a test. You're okay? I'm not pregnant. Well, I took a couple of pregnancy tests

before the final one came back positive. Oh, I do remember that. We were in Florida and it came back negative. Yeah, it came back negative and I was like, no, mother is instinct. You knew. I knew. And even though the test came back negative.

I was like, bitch, I'm a mother. I remember you sent me and it was like four tests in a row and it was positive. I was like, bitch, I'm a mother. I remember you sent me and it was like four tests in a row and it was positive. I was like, oh. It was funny because I did like a get ready with me to like get a pregnancy test. And then it caught like half a million views.

How many weeks later? It takes six weeks. Let's check back. And I was like bleeding before. My tits were massive, but I also just got them done. They were huge. They were massive. I honestly miss, my tits were massive, but I also just got them done. They were huge. They were massive. I honestly miss my pregnant tits.

Wait, also I found out. Right now I'm scared. Wait, also I found out over this Aspen weekend that the guy that I had been talking about that got me pregnant got me knocked up. He knows because of this podcast that he got me pregnant after chlamydia. 45 people sent him the clip. Yeah. Apparently he's worried that he has a kin running around.. 45 people sent him the clip.

Yeah. Apparently he's worried that he has a kin running around. Can we stop? She kept it. Can we stop sending men I sleep with clips? Yeah guys. This is the PSA.

I want you to clip this. Stop sending these men that I bless. I'm looking at every angle of every camera. Stop sending them the clips because they are threatening me with lawsuits. And that's the goddamn date! If you want this podcast to survive and thrive, just stop. Yeah, what if I get sued?

That's why I don't say anyone's names. I'm not that dumb. I just accidentally burped into the microphone. Sorry. What do you want, like, everyone's takeaway from this episode to be? I want everyone's takeaway from this episode to be that Liv's not pregnant, that I'm fertile,

and that Lauren has a mole. Don't wipe it if you see me out. I am a manic slut. And I am a hypochondriac. I think we should bring back the word slut. I don't think it's that mean. Like if I call someone a slut, I'm like, I say that with my full fucking bigac. I think we should bring back the word slut. I don't think it's that mean. Like if I call someone a slut, I'm like, I say that with my full fucking big chest.

I'm like, you're slut, I fuck with you. Yeah, like stop slut. I don't think slut's bad. Whore is insane, like wow. Remember when I had a tic on the trip and I kept saying ho? I kept calling Alia ho. So randomly, I was like, what up ho?

She was like, excuse me. She's like, what's good ho? Wait, I kept going out, oh, so randomly. I was like, what up, ho? She was like, she's like, what's good, ho? We kept going like this. I like it going like this. And all those photos, we have to put that one into. That was insane. This is me, the first time with that man. Oh, and with that,

I would like to thank you guys for tuning in once again. And like, subscribe. We're on YouTube right now if you want to watch us in full video. And I feel like you do because we're, I feel like we're fun to look at now. We're like pretty. Theatrics are important for this podcast. So, but yeah, love you guys and grazie. Grazie.

Grazie. Sayonara. Sayonara. Da fuck. Tozie. Grazie. Sayonara. Sayonara. Da fuck? Toodles. Da fuck?