Extra Dirty with Hallie Batchelder - Exposing myself *my private story, toy count & intimidating men*

Episode Date: January 22, 2026

Hey freaks! 🤸‍♀️ Hallie (after 9 tomato martini coupes at The Corner Store) is BACK for another beautiful, sexy solo episode!! Hallie gets into her 2016 lore, in light of the recent resurgence of the 2016 trend online. Then Hallie gets into a segment where she exposes her own lore: what she lies about on a first date, a complement that works on her every time, has she ever lied to a man about being impressed with his d*ck, and more! So grab your Dubai chocolate coffee and press play - muah!! 💋 Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

I love conflict and argument and I'm like a bit toxic in that way. Oh my God. I'm problematic. A moment for that. What happy little freak. Okay, guys, I'm doing something really stupid right now. We have an emergency debrief situation. Hi, this is Halle from the streets of New York.

Guys, I had every intention of staying in last night. Hello, all. Welcome back to action. dirty it's just me today i thought we do a solo i feel like we're going to get into a lot of like listener questions today and also just like a lot of like questions about me i don't know if that would be a segment i don't know what to call the segment yet but like i'm going to answer questions i guess that's what i do a lot on the show but i don't know what to call the segment so it's basically a whole segment where i expose and exploit myself which i guess is not so different from any episode we do

on here, but we're going to make a whole segment out of it. It was going to be like a truth or drink where like if I don't want to answer the question, I would take a sip of alcohol, but I'm just going to answer them instead because I'm not a pussy ass bit and this is what we do on this show. Okay? Anyways, let's begin. Let's just start with some updates. Some updates about me. I got a blowout this morning, although I need to get my back blown out. That's one of my goals this weekend is to get laid because I feel myself withering away. I feel myself getting in a mood. I feel myself getting angry at things that are out of my control. And it's just because I haven't gone late.

And I think based off this show and how I speak on this podcast, everyone thinks I'm getting my shit blown out like every fucking night. That is not the case. I just talk about sex a lot because I love it, enjoy it, and need it to live. Okay, thank you. I've been on what we call a mini-bender. I've been going out to dinner and having more than two martinis and you guys know my rule on martini's two is they're like a pair of tics two is great threes

doesn't make sense and it's way too much but you know for instance i was at the corner store last night at a business meal meeting to write off if i'm with another influencer i got to think about taxes blah blah but like um i was out with my agent and someone else that is reped by uta or whatever whoever's in the same we had the same agent whatever so we went out to like a little team dinner and I think I had nine tomato martinis. But like it all depends on the size of the coop. It was in a coop, not a glass, okay? And if you have a coop and it's like a small like a little teapot,

I'm no bitch. Give me nine of those coops. So I had nine of the coups and I literally, tomato martinis have been my hyperfixation drink. I need to learn how to make it. But they just make the best martinis there. They go right down so smoothly. So I had like nine of those and dinner was good, but I'm doing a lot of like dinners where it just like ends with eyes being in different directions. What else I've been doing?

My OCD has been really bad recently to the point where I feel like I might need to get medicated. Not medicated. My apartment's never looked better honestly. So I'm kind of riding that way. I have a closet organizer coming in on Monday. I just like feel like I have so many good clothes. and one of my goals this year is to like wear all of them. I buy so much nice clothing, expensive nice clothing, and I wear the same uniform every

week. And I go out during the day looking like a homeless lob. Like I just like I don't dress up during the day. And I want to make it a point where I like kind of wear better clothes instead of just wearing like a hoodie and sweatpants and like putting no effort in at all. This year we're putting an effort and we're being intentional. And what else will be doing? I keep, like, coming on this show and, like, saying I'm going to do so many things,

which is, like, so not my vibe. I'm like, this year, this is what we're bringing. This year, this is what we're not bringing. Which is so not my vibe because I don't give a fuck about New Year's resolutions, really. But I'm just trying to be a bit more intentional. I want to level up this year. I want to make good money. I want to keep good friends.

And I need everyone else to shut the fuck up. And that's on period. good. Woo! Okay, what else? My new coffee order is a Dubai chocolate from Starbucks. I was at the box the other night and as I was leaving, this guy came up to me and he said, I'm from Dubai. And this is like 5 a.m. by the way. Like he came up to me and he was like hitting on me trying at my number. But like I'm not doing long distance, baby. You're like, you live in Dubai. Like, get out of here. And all I kept saying to him was like, I was just raving about the Dubai chocolate from Starbucks. I was like, oh my God, you're from Dubai. Like, I love the new Starbucks drink. And he was

like, looking at me like, I had 10 hats. He was like, what the fuck is this bitch talking about? I was like, you have no idea what you mean to me. Because this Dubai chocolate drink that you've brought to Starbucks has been life changing for my mornings. And I talked to him about 30 minutes. And he was just like, I don't even want to hit on this girl anymore. Another thing I've been doing after my casual dinners is finding a limo, which they park conveniently out front of every club and restaurant in New York City. And it's always the same guy. And one thing about us is like, if we're drunk enough as a group collectively, we will be getting into a limo. And we will say, take me to Times Square. That's what we say. We go, take me to Times Square and then come back downtown

and drop us off at my apartment, which is where I had the afters this weekend. But like we went to Times Square, the only people in Times Square. It was bright as a fucking, it looks like a movie theater. It was like a snow globe. It was the most, I felt like I was tripping, maybe it was, but like I felt like I was tripping ass. Everything is so bright and no one was in the streets of Times Square. And we made the limo driver get out of the car once we got to Times Square and take a group photo of us before heading back downtown. I look like the soul has left the chat. Like I look like the soul, a soulless body. Okay, a soulless body, no brains.

Brains is mashed potatoes. What else? The 2016 trend that's going on right now that I've yet to participate in, I mean, I was in rehab when I was in 2016. I wasn't even like taking pictures back then, I don't think. But I was going through camera rule, and I will say that I was probably doing some things in 2016. I know 18-year-old. I was 18.

I was a sophomore in college in 2016. I think, or a freshman in college. Like, I was young, but I was at the box with, like, one specific A-list, maybe B-list now, actor that my friend was hooking up with that I've talked about on the show before, and he would bring us to the box because you can't really take pictures in the box

because of, like, what goes on there. It's kind of like a live sex show kind of situation. And it would be like, this A-list actor who was twice our age, a bunch of like a group of like 18, 19 year old girls, as is like little posse and us at the box at a table. Like people probably were like, what the fuck is going on? So I won't be participating in that trend. I also was never like a visco girl. Like I wish I was like a lot more artsy and aesthetic back then, but visco when it used to be popping, which was kind of like my heyday, I guess. High school, visco was really big for me.

me in like kind of the beginning of college I guess I don't know when Biscoe dropped off but I remember like looking up to like Alexis Wren and just being like in J Alvarez like every pregame in college we would put on those YouTube videos of them just like when I think about you you know that song I can taste the cotton candy Svedka as that song goes on because it brings me back to a pregame to every pregame when we pregame with the senior boys when we're a freshman in college and we're drinking the Svetka, RAP Svetka. But yeah, that was my 2016. Crazy year.

I think that was probably my year, my most bodies, honestly, too. My freshman year, I went fucking nuts. I'm still fucking nuts, but I don't try to get as many bodies to know. All right, next, after that little beautiful, random fucking intro, let's get into, I'm going to do the segment where I just expose myself first. I'm not really going to go that hard, but like I will answer honestly, which I wouldn't be me if I wasn't answering honestly to anything. I don't lie on this show.

Sometimes I feel like I should. I should just start lying, okay, and just like making up random stories and just saying the craziest fucking shit and just completely lying and dragging random people into it. Like being like, oh, I hooked up with this A-less celebrity. Oh, my God. He like, but like, what if I just started lying? That would be fun, honestly, but I'm not going to do that. Okay.

What's something you've lied about on a first date? We all know I don't like to date, and that's something I need to get over because I feel like I'm just such a commitment phobe. What sounds worse? I'd rather like, what's scarier? A relationship ending or it never ending? The never ending thing scares me more. It freaks me out.

Like, how do I know if I've chosen the right guy? I'm going on a tangent now that I can really go on, but like I always feel like the grass is greener and I need to go to therapy. All right, continue. What do I lie about in a first day? How often I exercise if a guy is like really into fitness and he's telling me about like solid core,

I'll be like, oh my God, I go every day. Those fucking planks? Oh my God. Do you do any, like, what are they called? Moderation. I'm like, I don't fucking fuck with that shit. I do the plank for the whole thing and I'll just make things up like that.

I also lie about having hobbies. I don't have hobbies. I'm trying to find hobbies at the right age of 28, but my hobbies include, like, I don't have them. And I feel like you don't need to have them. Like, I'm just, like, living is my hobby. Like, can we just appreciate that and have some gratitude?

A moment for just existing, please. Like, I don't need to have a hobby. I don't really read. I don't really walk. I sound incapable of these things. things but like I can't I don't really read I don't write I don't walk I don't swim and I don't exercise much I go through phases right now I just feel like my body doesn't need me to like have that much strain I don't really need to exercise right now in my opinion but like I

like I vapes I like cigarettes casually with friends like can I say that on our first day Probably not. He might run. He might run for the hills. I mean, you know, I've never had a guy ask me my body count on a first date, but I probably would lie about that. Although, like, it would take minimal research to actually find that out because I have said it on a couple podcasts. So it depends. Like, how much research is this guy doing before his first date? Like, what questions does he want to ask? Like, but my hobbies include nothing in living and loving and laughing. Thank you. All right, next. What's something you pretend you don't care about but actually do?

The truth is, I should give a fuck about a lot more things that I don't give a fuck about. I kind of just ignore them. Like my health, my mental state. Judgment from the masses. Possibly never having a family one day. Like, what if? What if I die alone? that's probably something that I act

like I don't care about. Like I do care about that. I don't want to die alone. That sounds so cold and boring. Okay? My hair. I mean, I can buy it and glue it to my fucking dome, but like I do wish I had luscious locks like Goldie lots. But I don't. And do some of those comments

rub me the wrong way? Absolutely. But thank God I can afford to buy and glue it to my hair. Thank you. It looks great right now. I just got a blown out this morning. But yeah. You know, Negative comments. I've gotten better about people just trolling the fucking shit out of me as like one of their hobbies. But like, you know, it's not fun to read, especially you're having an off or bad day. Like I pretend not to care about those comments, but like sometimes they hurt.

Like I have a beating heart and emotions too sometimes. Although I've gotten better about being, you know, a bit, you know, the skin grows thicker in this industry. So I've gotten better about it. What else? What was the last time you sent a booty cold text? I've been like, I throw out texts all the time. Like, really, it just depends how many martinis I've had. Like, I was even thrown out text last night.

But, like, having a guy over is rare. Like, I don't really do that because, honestly, I don't want, like, I sleep with the TV on and I'm watching Meal Housewives and, like, I don't want him poking me with his fucking robbing cock. Like, sometimes I just need me time, okay? I have batteries for that. Okay? Like, I usually just, like, end up bringing a guy home. But, like, I'm never, like, in bed being, like, come over.

Because don't, please. Because then you have to, like, leave. I don't remember the last time I sober booty called anyone, honestly. Maybe college. I'm definitely not sober. I don't know. But I don't do that often. Okay.

What's your most toxic dating habit? Gaslighting, probably. Probably also jealousy slash insecurity in masking that with being mean to my partner and knocking them down a peg just because Misrate loves company and I need them to like know their place. Always being right, you're never going to win an argument with me. Like I will convince you this guy is red. And you could say this guy is blue. This guy is not fucking blue. It's red.

and I'll always win that fight. I'll like never listen to like their point because I don't even care about their point. My point is correct. Picking fights just to have good makeup sex. That's maybe a twisted one. But like some things get dull. I mean, or the last relationship I was in.

Like it was just like dull at the end. I would be like, let's fight. So at least we can have some emotion here. Damn, I sound like a fucking mess now that I'm listing them all out. This is why I've been single for a few years. because I love conflict and argument and I'm like a bit toxic in that way. Oh my God. I'm problematic.

A moment for that. Okay, back. Bringing it back in. But I've evolved. Okay. I'm just talking about my past relationships, situationships, things. What's a compliment that immediately works for you every time? When I got it says I'm funny, I like appreciate.

that because he's listening to me and he appreciates good humor. And if we don't have the same type of sense of humor, it probably won't work out because I can have very dark humor sometimes. Morbid. I'm very self-deprecating. And I'm very, like, silly. Sometimes, like, guys think I'm weird because, like, I feel like it's too much sometimes. But if you can't be weird as me, it's not going to work. It'll never work, honestly. I don't think you will, like, ever find love if you can't be weird with someone that you're like dating. Or if they say have a nice smile and a nice rack, I appreciate a guy with taste.

If they like my bolt-ons, we're good. What is next? When was the last time you were pissed at your family member? Probably Christmas dinner. I mean, we went out to Teresa and they didn't seat us until like 10, and we didn't get food until like 11. So everyone was kind of on edge and old cranky. And then we all just like full family brawl.

Chad was so fucked up. I was so fucked up. Sammy looked at me the wrong way and I said, what the fuck are you looking at? He's like, you drunk bitch. And we were just like all fighting with one another. And then I thanked my dad for dinner and he goes, fuck you, Chad.

And then we went out. You know, that's probably a lot. I don't really fight with my siblings that much. I don't like to fight with my siblings. And I don't really fight with my parents either. I'm terrified of my mother. My dad I can handle. I'm terrified of my mother.

Because when my mom's mad, that's when you know to brace for impact. Not in a fit. She's not like hitting me. But like I mean like she, if she's mad at you, you will know in the house will be uncomfortable. And I'm scared of that. Okay, next. Have you ever lied to a man about being impressed by his dick size? No, why would I uplift a man for free?

Like what? Well, why would I do that? I don't even know why that's... No. And also, like, a guy knows that I'm unimpressed by his dick. Because then I just, like, finish myself off in front of them and make him watch as he sits there helpless. I'm such a cunt.

But, yeah, I don't... I don't really believe an uplifting man when it's not, you know... You're not getting anything out of it. Like, what's the point of being like, you have a nice dick lying to him about it? Like no man is that nice and not deserving in my opinion. And I'm not even like a man hater. Like I just like, what's the point? If I had a flat chest, I don't want a man commenting on my massive rack.

Like, you're lying to me. And I'm not that good of a liar. Like, I just don't, I can't even imagine faking being impressed by a dick. Is that like a fake orgasm? Why? I don't even know why people do that. Why, like, let a man know that he's like, pleasureing you if he's not, he needs to know what to fix and where to be better.

And like he needs to take it down a peg. Because all these men out here are thinking they're making all these bitches finished. Maybe I promise you they're fucking not. They're fucking not. They're not. And these men need to be humbled. I need to be humbled. But like, that's just my honest opinion.

Do you masturbate at night or in the morning? Usually at night helps me sleep. It's like, why get out? up and get a lemmy sleep when you have a vibrator next to your bed. That's what I use as it like helps me sleep. I think it helps a lot of people sleep. I barely do it in the morning, but like I mean sometimes I go through phases. It does really add a good start to your day. But I would say more than not night. I am single in 28. So a lot of nights. How many sex voice do you have? 0 to 1, 2 to 5, 614, 15 plus.

I would argue 15 plus. I'm not even lying. And hear me out. I, this is like a sex positive podcast. And I talk about sex a lot. I'm gifted a lot of toys. And I don't want to throw them out. Like, like, the sex toys I use, like they range.

Like, I have four vibrators that I go through. They're like, one's a sucker. which I don't use veryly, you know, the others, like, just like the egg and, like, some, like, are good with, like, a guy there. That's a whole other category of, like, a few other toys. But I also have, like, the butt plugs, the whips, the chains, the handcuffs. Like, those all count, too. Blindfolds, nipple clamps. What else do we have in the repertoire?

I'm getting my closet organized on Monday, and I'm going to have to be, like, we're not touching this door, and we're not touching this door in this door. I think that's it But like I would say If it's not around 14 It's maybe 15 16 Toys collectively That's like a lot

I need to stop Like do I pull out a whip Every time I hook up with a guy No It's a sick though It's a sick whip though It's like a leather whip And it has like indents of three hearts

So if you hit someone with it Like it'll leave hearts on your body It's kind of cute No All right. Next. Who is your least favorite housewife? Damn, that's a messy question.

I mean, it rotates, you know? I do like, I will say I did not like Gretchen, Rossi, whatever the fuck her name is. She got a bad at it, I would say, on I did not like whatever she was up to. On this most recent season of Beverly, not Beverly Hills of Wardens County. based off of the things that she was liking on Instagram and shit, I do not stand by that and I don't agree with that. And she will rule.

She's on my rude list. I saw that and was like, fuck that shit. So I would say maybe right now, Gretchen Rossi on my shit list, least favorite. But there's a couple others. I don't love either. There's a lot of them. Or like, wow, it's a lot.

But like, I'm not going to be name dropping on here. Besides Gretchen Rossi, I feel like you deserve it. The messiest real habit is why people are the best ones. Will anyone listening be sad to hear that they're not on your private story? Probably everyone listening because my private story is fucking iconic. I post way more of my private story than I do in any other platform combined. I complain a lot on there. I shit talk a lot on there.

I do everything on there. And if you are on my private story, which is probably a group of 80 people, which is kind of a lot. but like 80 people I fucking trust to be on there or on there and I hope they get a good goal because it's an honor to be a part of it. But anyone specifically like I've taken a lot of people that I went to college with off. I guess I'll say that because in a time where I talk a lot of shit on these close friends, sometimes these screenshots end up on Reddit and then I'm like, who's the leak? Who's the fucking leak?

and then I have to go through and think about the people that probably are on Reddit the most and I have to take them off. They lost privileges and they will never laugh again, unfortunately. Goodbye and go to fucking hell. So I got very passionate about that.

Also, this mic is right between my tits. Stay there. Have you ever wanted someone more once they become unavailable? I feel like this is a pretty normal psychological phenomenon. I'm not going to lie. Would I ever go after someone

when that's in a relationship, absolutely the fucking not. I would never do that. But I think there's some sort of thing that goes on in your brain, once something is taken away, it becomes like more desired. You know, it's like the forbidden fruit and it's like, you know, the challenge, like kind of vibes.

But like I would never go after a man that's like in a relationship. I'm not a sick, twisted, fucking worthless whore, okay? And I know a lot of bitches I would too. A lot of bitches that would. But on the flip of that, I do go after men that are typically emotionally unavailable. I don't know if that counts as part of this question. But I think there's something to be said that I'm attracted to men that I know deep down,

it's not going to work out long term because I think I have commitment issues and I'm scared of longevity and I'm scared of long term. But there's something about an emotionally available man, unavailable men that I'm like, sit on my face. Do you think you are intimidating to men? Yes. men my age, which I don't like, that gives me the, I think some men my age are kind of thrown off by me, which is okay, because I don't want men my age anyways. I think men that are a bit older than me, like 10 years older than me, or not.

I think they think I'm like young and cute and innocent. And I kind of like having that point of view better. I don't, like, I had met men that are my age that admit to being like, and you can tell they're like body language. They're like a little shifty around me. And I'm just like, this is so not hot. Like, what about this? Just throw me through a wall.

Nothing. You look like a pussy. And I do not like it. Do you think women find you intimidating? I'd like to think not. I don't know. Honestly, I really hope I don't come off as intimidating to women. Because honestly, I think we should all band together and just intimidate the men.

Like, I just feel like that's what we should be doing. I think maybe my RBF, I kind of stand like this sometimes, very closed off. I think I've talked about that before, but I do think that maybe the RBF, people expect a different tone of conversation with me, but like once I open my mouth, I'm pretty friendly and warm and like very engaging with people. But I do feed off vibe. So like if a girl is like being rude, standoffish, like her shit doesn't sink, then I will be

reserved. Usually girls that act like that, I think they're better than you, are probably insecure, undereducated, or have a very underwhelming personality as a whole, which is kind of like mean maybe, but like I think being a cunt when you're meeting someone new is the worst look ever. Like, babe, who the fuck are you? And who told you could act like that? Because like, like, you're not cute enough to act like that. I don't know. I hate when people are just fucking rude right off the bat. But also I'm like very analytical and social settings.

So I read people right away. Like when I'm talking to someone, like I am analyzing their body language, how they're speaking, blah, blah, blah. And then I will know how I can act. So if someone's closed off, I'll be closed off. If someone's very open, friendly, giggly, I'll know I can like let down that wall and be fun and giggly too.

And then we can have a normal conversation. On top of that, I have spurts as social anxiety. So sometimes I'll look back and analyze my own conversations with people and be like, was I weird? But that's a whole fucking other different issue. And I probably should get medicated for that, but I won't. The martinis will do. Okay, next. Would you rather date someone hotter than you or funnier than you?

100% funnier. And this could be a hot take, but I don't want to date someone hotter than me. Is that a hot take? Because I just can't deal with the stress of other bitches looking at him if he's that much hotter than me. Obviously, I want an attractive guy, but I would rather him be like one, one notch below me, attractive level and super fucking funny. And super fucking rich. And a super fucking dick he can slaying across my face. That's my ideal man.

If I was to build a man, it would be that. Oh, I miss him already. Okay, would you rather keep things casual forever, catch feelings fast and hard? I mean, this question freaks me out and get anxiety. Like, what do you mean, catch feelings fast and hard? I do that. I think I'd rather catch feelings fast and hard because is anything ever casual if they're dicks inside of you? I mean, I don't think we're programmed to act like that.

I mean, I try to keep things casual, and there's some guys that I would never date. That's my extent of casual. But, like, I feel you can't really compare these to, like, obviously. Obviously, I wouldn't want to catch things casual forever as opposed to like having feelings for someone forever. But I don't know. What do you think? I don't know.

I would probably get feelings fast and hard as long as like they catch feelings fast and hard. It has to be like a two-way street here. But I don't think I'd want to keep things casual forever because the word forever freaks me out. I don't know. I don't even know if I answered that correctly. I think I just contradicted myself 13. times, but like ignore. Would you rather accidentally text I love you to your ex or your crush

to my ex because he wouldn't receive it because I'm blocked on everything? Which is where I should be. But like also if I wasn't blocked, if I texted I love me to my ex, like he'd be like, okay, you're a fucking weirdo. Stop talking about me on your podcast. Like it would be brushed off pretty quickly. Would I text I love you to my crush though? Fuck no. He can't know I have feelings. I have a few crushes right now, though, that I'm excited about. One day. That's like I've been getting better about not doing is talking about people presently on the show.

I'm trying to, like, keep that, like, a little bit more private. I mean, I'll talk about, like, the greater themes and things, but, like, if I like a guy, I probably won't be talking about him on this show. But I'll still tell stories. But there's no one's special right now. But there's a couple that have my eye on. All right, let's go to the next segment, listener confessions. I was told that from my producer that these were extra spicy and fun this week.

So I'm excited to read through these. Okay, let's go. My neighbor and I have been hooking up in his car for past five years. And no one knows. Babe, get a fucking hotel room. Is he broke? What, what do you mean? You're cracking in the Honda Civic.

What do you mean? Get a bed. You're going to get your back. blown out and not the good way the bad way there's only only so many positions you can do over the center console that is insane but like hot i guess but like kind of sass babe like get our hotel room if like what do you mean five years but like sometimes hucking up in the car is fun i used to do that all the time with my high school boyfriend once we like were in the cape and we're hooking up on the side of the road and like it was like in a parking lot and the police came up and like knocked on the window

I felt like it was in a movie scene and I was sucking him sideways and the passenger seat but those were the fucking days those were the days and they shaped me as a human being today but I mean I guess if you're okay with the car situation and what kind of car is it a SUV is it is it is a sedan is the car on are we laying the seats back Are we bringing in pillows? Is there music going on? I have questions. Is it in front of your house, in front of his house?

Are you driving down the street? Are you in the McDonald's parking lot? I have a lot of questions about your situation. And I would like you to inform me more. Okay, I was hooking up with this guy, and he went down on me, and I quieft in his face. He'll get over it, and he'll live to see another day. Like, I mean, that's kind of funny, though, because, I mean, that's never happened to me. But, like, I don't think it's that big of a deal.

I loki think guys don't get disgusted by anything or freaked out or grossed out. Like he's just happy his face is in a piss. Like I think he's just happy to be there. He probably wasn't even paying attention. He was probably just counting the alphabet with his tongue. Like he probably didn't even know there was a queath going on. So I wouldn't even stress, babe. And I think you're good.

But like, shit happens. Okay, meet out slash messed with a woman while her husband watched. And my mom was in the hotel room. wait I may read that I'm made out slash master the woman while her husband watched and my mom was in the hotel

all right so was your mom watching too also like this is some swinger ass activity it's giving Nantucket vibes I know a lot of Nantucka people that are swingers like this they'll just like it's called cuckold

okay so like they like to watch their wives get fucked by another man while they jerk off in the corner that you know you know everyone's got a cup of tea but like it's interesting but you're making out with the woman while the husband watch I mean he husband probably thought he was like in heaven like he probably thought that was so hot you know married couples probably hit a point where they're like we need to spice things up and like if we bring in a third party like it's not cheating as long as we both we're both okay with it like all parties consent you know so I feel like they just wanted to get their freak on

and you were the chosen one but the mom adds a different layer here where I don't know how I feel about that like was your mom watching or was your mom like in a different hotel room like I need you to tell me that so I can sleep tonight like I need a know please damn me okay I slept in my best friend's dad

in St. Bart's and he's been selling me hush money period as you fucking should are you blackmailing him i have more questions about this one too but like he i mean what how much hush money who's your dad's friend how much are we talking i wouldn't feel bad about this this guy obviously has a guilty conscience whatever but like profit off it while he still feels bad i mean my dad's best friend i mean you guys were in st bar so it sounds like he was rich so period um i would continue to take those payments and get yourself a cute bag. That's what I would do. It seems logical.

Yeah. I got down in a tractor. The guy was plotting. Excuse me? These are terms I don't know. What's plotting mean? Is that like a agriculture thing? We know. I thought he was literally like you were sucking him sideways while he was like plowing down fields. I was like, wow. There's a lot of file going on. Oh, but that makes no, I got down in a tractor while the guy was plotting. And let me just make sure, I think he was doing his agriculture job while this girl was going, getting crazy with him. Sucking his shit. What is plotting when it comes in terms of agriculture? Occupation. In agriculture, plotting usually refers to dividing land into small sections. For planting, and managing crops.

Farmers, so you fucked a farmer while he was working. That's so hot. I love that. Hopefully he, like, was clean, not dirty. But, well, not as thinking he meant, he meant scheming. Like, he was scheming. But I'm like, that makes no sense.

Okay, that's fun. Once I sucked a guy off while he was fishing, so that's kind of, like, similar. It was not the only rod that was out on his, But I crack myself up. Okay, let's go. Next question. If your BFF of 15 years accused your dad of cheating with no hard evidence, what would you do?

Did your BFF fuck your dad? If she's that convinced, you're going to have to come out with, like, receipts timeline proof. There's no other way. I would tell her to fuck off first. If she's just saying that, if she's just guessing, that's pretty damaging to a family member. I would also start questioning the friend if she's getting with your dad because how would you know?

All the tea. I went to rehab with Amanda Binds. Amanda. I still hope that she has a Demi Lovato level comeback. She was so talented, so precious, such a bright light

when she was like a child actor. I just don't know how they fucked her up at Disney. You see this a lot, with child actors, Nickelodeon, Disney, et cetera, and it's really sad to see. I don't know what the fuck. Fucked up shit goes on over there. But I really hope that she makes a comeback. I bet she's really sweet.

That's kind of, I hope you were nice to her in rehab. I bet people will say that about me. I went to rehab with Hallibatchel there because it's true for some people. But that's kind of interesting lower, I will say. Okay, I put my full tampon in, my ex's weed bowl because he kept smoking it inside. Huh? What do you mean? What do you mean?

What do you mean? But like I used one? I thought weed bowls were small. I used to smoke out of apples, so I don't really know that just... I used to do gravity bongs. I used to like get really fucking high. And I was like 14. And then I went through a face again when I was like in college, but I don't smoke now.

It makes me think about mortality. Okay. I mean, he's your ex. So he can go fuck himself and I don't feel bad for him. and I don't feel bad for him. I'm on your side. I don't care if the tampon was used or not. He's in the wrong because he's the man.

Okay, I made $29,000 in 2025 from Sugar Daddies, not including gifts and trips. Power to you, sister. I would say that is work. That is work you are clocking in because putting up with these men, especially those scary older men, is a job, it's an occupation within it.

self and my moral compass is all fucking backwards as we all know so like i'm what are we going to sit here and judge you no no i'm not gonna i'm giving you snaps and kudos um as long as you're happy and doing your thing i mean you're making that bad so i'm i'm proud of you okay next to end out the episode and just like to round out this whole episode i just said episode 14 times I got a DM from one of you asking for my advice, and I want to try to help because I read the paragraph and I was like, okay, this girl means back in business. So we're going to end the episode with that. I'm going to read it.

I'm going to give the situation and then we're going to try to fix it because I like solutions problems, not problems, period. Okay. Continue. All right. The DM goes, I need help. So one of my best friends, my sorority twin, had sex with one of our best friends, our literal Biggs. Talking stage slash guy she hangs out with literally every day. My friend only told me in the

other girl and my big has no clue. The guy and my friend agreed to never tell her, but I just had this awful guilty feeling that she needs to know. I have a boyfriend too, so now it kind of makes me worried about her trying to make a move. Not trying to make this about me, I little bit. But I also don't want to be the one to say something and get involved. I just feel sick knowing she has no idea. So this girl is a fucking bitch and it's bad. If one of your best friends is in a talking situation, with a guy and you go for the guy, this is what I was talking about earlier

when it comes to like the forbidden fruit. And like there's something psychological that goes on in someone's brain when someone is taken. And acting on it with one of your best friends, especially is fucking diabolically insane. And I think if you, whoever wrote this, if you are a real friend to the girl and you know, this information, I think it would be lying by omission.

I think you have to tell her to save that friendship. And yes, maybe you're friends with the girl that actually fucked up, but she's gonna have to, you know, she's the one that did it and fucked up. Like, she's gonna have to pay those consequences. You didn't ruin those friendships. She did, is what I'm trying to say. I don't like this, and it kind of gives me like icky vibes. It kind of gives me like tell me love. vibes, which I don't love. And I think you would be, yes, I get understanding. It's like a weird

position to be in and you don't want to get involved, but I feel like you would be being, you're doing your friend a disservice if you don't get involved. Like, I'm just trying to think if these were my best friends. I would slap that hoe right across the face and then I would tell my other friend what she did. You got to hold your friends accountable or else you're not being a good friend. So hold this bitch accountable. tell the other girl what happened. Hopefully they don't shoot the messenger, but like this is messy.

This is messy, messy. Yeah, I mean, I would go to the big and be like, listen, like, I know this information. I want my hands clean of it. You didn't hear it from me, but this is what happened. That's what I would do. But I get you're going to have a guilty conscience about your friend, but your friend's one that fucked up.

It's fucked up shit. Especially if you're all in the same sorority. I mean, you can't be doing that in sorority. everyone the truth always prevails so do you want to be the one that like kept this information to yourself or be or do you want to be a good friend and also your big would be fucking pissed if she knew that you weren't like it's just like a lot of power dynamics going on too like your big's gonna be piss if she finds out that like your friend did that and that you knew so I would tell her all right That was my answer to that.

This was a very fun solo episode. Mainly because I get to just hang out with you guys, also because I'm in a good mood today and also because I got my hair blown out this morning. So I look good, hopefully, in all these clips. But I love you all. As always, you can watch on YouTube, like, subscribe, to all your friends. You can listen to me on any other platform. And I will see you all next week.

Thank you very much. and have a good weekend. Bye.